Disrupting Burnout

27. Actively Waiting

April 28, 2021 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 27
Disrupting Burnout
27. Actively Waiting
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Show Notes Transcript

We are not good at waiting.  In the days of instant everything, waiting can be a painful process.  In this episode of Heart Work with PBJ, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson shares her formula for actively waiting.  Your waiting season is your preparation season.  Do not miss out on what today has to offer longing for tomorrow.

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Hey, Hey, Hey, friends. It's Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Heart Work with PBJ where we are disrupting cycles of burnout for people who do their work from the heart. Oh, yes, friends over here we are on a mission, we are determined to do the work we are called to do without losing the life we desire. Or you can have both. And I am so honored that you all continue to join me. I hope you will share this podcast I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, will you rate and review this podcast wherever you listen, find a place that you can leave a review, leave a rating and share it with someone else. I know we're not the only ones. And my goal and my hope is that I can share what I've learned the hard way and bring on some friends who will share as well so that we can all do the work we're called to do it freedom. So y'all help me out share this podcast with somebody. And also remember, you need to be following me on Instagram@drpatricebucknerjackson, again, that's @drpatricebucknerjackson. That's where you will get your spoonful of PBJ every Monday. And, of course, a new episode of heartwork with PBJ. Every Wednesday, y'all, I got something to share with you today, I got some of my heart. So let's get into this episode. So today, my friends, I need to talk to you about something that I am currently dealing with. And I'm just gonna be honest, I did my best to get try to get out of this. I tried to talk about something else or go to another subject. But it won't leave me and nothing else worked. So I know that I'm supposed to share this with you all. So bear with me, because I'm just going to share my heart a little bit today, not as outlined as I would normally do. So I am in a season of waiting, there are some things in particular that I am waiting for in my life. And in recent weeks, I really been feeling the pressure of what it feels like to wait. So today, I thought I would come and share with you all, but also hold myself accountable to what do you do when you're waiting? What do you do when you're waiting? So I told y'all a few times, but my husband has had a couple of surgeries in the last four weeks. And he's had two surgeries in the last four weeks. So I have spent some time in hospital waiting rooms, and doctor's waiting rooms in the last four weeks. And it's interesting, I'm always the people watching no matter where I am. And what this waiting room experience has confirmed with me is that we're not good at waiting. We're not good at waiting. You know, when I look around the waiting room, there are those people who are on their cell phones, and we're all hearing their conversation because it's not that big. But they're just passing the time by chatting it away or other people who are asleep and clearly are asleep because they're bored. Because it cannot be good sleep is definitely not comfortable sleep. So sleep is just the only alternative that they can find for themselves to really pass the time and get through the waiting. And then you have waiters like me. I'm a prepared waiter, okay, when I show up and I know I have to wait. I've got a laptop, I have an iPad, I've got a phone, I've got a book, I have something to pass the time some work, something I can do to pass the time because I'm prepared to weight. See there are seasons in our lives where we come prepared, we expect that there's going to be a weight and when you expect there's going to be a weight, you can plan what you're going to do while you are waiting. But the challenge for me has been when I did not expect that I would have to wait. So I did not have my briefcase, my backpack all my stuff ready for what I would do while I was in the waiting season. And those are the times that I have learned the most that I have learned the best lessons that I can give you what I'm giving you today, how to wait when you didn't know you would have to wait. And I want to talk about actively waiting. Let's talk about actively waiting Because often when we think about waiting, it is that monotonous, bored, just doing nothing just kind of stuck in one place. Like if you were sitting in the doctor's office waiting room, or waiting in a drive thru to get to make your order or get your food, you're just stuck. You feel stuck. And you there's no place you can go. If you've already made your order, and you're between the little order screen and the window, you got no place to go. You got to sit there and wait no matter how long it takes. When we think about waiting, that's what our mind goes back to. But I'm here to tell you that you're waiting season doesn't have to be that way. You can actively wait. You can learn to actively wait. The biggest lesson that I learned about waiting was right before I met my husband, and right before I became Mama Patrice to baby girl, I remember that I was in a season of life of frustration, and waiting. I was just frustrated. You know, I was watching everybody else seemed to, you know, get married and have children and move on with their lives and have all these wonderful things going on. And I celebrated them. But at the same time, I was wondering, when is my turn? When is it going to happen for me. And it's so interesting perspective is so interesting, because at that point in my life, I was 32 years old. And now being 40 years old, I look back at 32, my girl, you, you were young, you were just starting your life. But at 32 I was feeling like my life was over. Because I had not connected with my family. I didn't know who my husband was, I didn't have a husband, I didn't have children. And of course people around you don't help because they asked him Well, what are you gonna get married? Well, if I knew I show what? Cuz I have no idea. So I was in this place of just deep frustration. And if I be honest with you, I was even frustrated with God. I felt like I was supposed I was doing all the things that I was taught to do, that I was supposed to do. But it still wasn't happening for me. So I was in this really deep frustrated place. Then all of a sudden, and I've told you all about 2012. If you read the E book, you know about 2012. It went down for me in 2012. all my stuff came, all of my stuff that I was waiting on, everything flooded into my life in a matter of months, in a matter of months, my entire life. And the status of my life changed. And when it changed and when I caught my breath and realize everything that had just happened and you know, beautiful time in my life. But what I wished Once I caught my breath and realized and you know, we were married and settling in what I wish I had done is I wish I had used my waiting period to prepare. I used my waiting period too long for and even sometimes to grieve for what I was worried would never happen for me. I was so focused on what I wanted and wanting it now that I did not do what I could have done to make our start as a family better. Looking back on it now, I wish in my waiting period, that I would have just believed that what was in my heart and what I desired was coming to me. And if you would have asked me at that time, I would have told you that I did believe there was in my heart, there was still that hope I still had hope. But I wish that I would have grabbed hold to that thing and believed it and put my action behind. Say Faith without works is dead. It's one thing to believe it. But it's another thing to line up your life and your behavior according to what you believe. I wish I would have taken that time to prepare financially. I wish I had taken that time to finish my degree. So I was done. I didn't have to worry about that. As our family was getting started. I wish I had taken that time to do so many things. So by the time my family came, we had a much stronger start. We still had a beautiful start. I'm so grateful for grace and mercy. Everything's wonderful, but I am well aware that we would have had a stronger stopped if I would have just aligned my behavior with what I believed. So that's the first thing I want to encourage you with today. If you find yourself in a waiting period, I want to encourage you to align your behavior with what you believe. Whatever you're waiting on whatever is coming your way, whatever's in your heart, what can you do right now, to prepare yourself for Where you going? Not just long for it, not just desire it, not just talk about it, not just cry about it, not just be frustrated about it. But what can you actively do, to align your behavior with what you are waiting on? Faith without works is dead. So connect what you believe with what you are doing. So when not if but when that desire comes, you can receive it in a much more powerful way, because you have prepared yourself for it. So align your behavior with what you believe. Here's the other thing that I would encourage you concerning actively waiting, I would encourage you to do the last thing you know you were supposed to do. Until the next thing comes, like I told you in that season, when I was waiting for my family, there are certain things that I know I could have been doing, I could have been working on my health, and becoming a more healthy person getting more healthy habits. In my life, I could have been working on my finances even more and prepared for us, even in a more powerful way. So that we could really take off from the beginning, instead of having to grind through some things, I could have done so many things, I could have prepared my heart Even more spiritually, so that when my family came, I had more strength in prayer and more strength in my relationship with God to anchor us, there are so many things that I could have should have been doing at that time. But I spent my time mourning what I was worried wouldn't happen for me. So while you are waiting, do the last thing you knew you were supposed to be doing. Until the next thing comes. I talk to my students all the time, especially those who are in transition students who are about to graduate or just recently graduated, and trying to figure out now what now now what do I do now? Where do I go? Or even if they haven't graduated, but they're worried about what's going to happen? is a door going to open? Are they going to be accepted to the next school with it? Will they get a job, all this kind of stuff. And and now hindsight is 2020. Right? It's easier for me to talk about now 20 years later, but I tried to encourage them, do the last thing you knew were you supposed to do until the next thing comes. If this is an internship, or if you have a current job or your current position, or if you're in school, dig in, do what you're supposed to do right now, in preparation for what's coming. So do the last thing you knew you were supposed to be doing. Until the next thing comes. So often we abandon the last thing. Mine and you know, it's so I believe the spiritual, it is so powerful how your spirit, your mind and your body start to prepare for what's coming. You might not know exactly what it's going to look like, you might not know exactly what's coming. But if you're a spiritual person, you start to feel it. Like you just start to know that change is coming like something is happening. And you might not even recognize what it is you might just know that you feel different. And sometimes that produces frustration. Like you don't know why. But you just feeling like what what is going on what's happening. That's your body and your mind and your spirit, getting in alignment with what's about to happen for you. And if you're not careful, that feeling will cause you to abandon the thing that you're supposed to be doing right now. Just because you're feeling it doesn't mean it's for today. So while you're waiting, even though you're feeling even though you're feeling while you're waiting for the next thing to come, go ahead and invest well, anchor down, do the thing you know you're supposed to be doing right now, until next comes. And the last thing I've got to encourage you is put your blinders on. You got to put your blinders on. One of the biggest enemies to your future is comparison. One of the biggest enemies to your future is comparison. Looking to the right, looking to the left, seeing what other people are doing, what's happening for them, what's going on in their life, that will hold you back faster than anything else. Because you will be so focused on what's going on for somebody else, that you can stay focused on where you're going. So when you are in a waiting season, it's even more important that you put your blinders on, you keep your face forward, keep looking at your destination, keep looking at where you are headed. Don't get distracted by what's going on around you, whether it be somebody else's life, or if it be foolishness in your own life. Sometimes, even if it's connected to you, you got to put your blinders on and not get wrapped up in the storm that's going on over here. Because you're going somewhere, you're going somewhere, when you're on a trip, when you're driving, when you're growing on a road trip. If you spend your time just looking around, you're gonna mess up and you're gonna get in a wreck, or it's gonna take you longer to get where you going. Because you're spending so much time sightseeing. So are you sightseeing, or are you on a mission, it's time to get there. And if you want to get there, when you're on a mission, when you're trying to beat that GPS time, when you know you got a place to be, you'll have time to be looking around you. You don't have time to be taking detours and, and pulling over on the side of the road. You're on a mission. So let's get it. Let's get there. Put your blinders on. Stop being distracted by everything that surrounds you, even the opinions of others. Everybody won't know where you're going. Everybody won't understand where you're headed. It's not for them to understand. This is your journey. This is your life. So stop trying to come stop trying to convince people that your plan is okay. Do you I got a coach in my life. Her name is Tia Jones. She said we're gonna check your bull. So I'm gonna tell you like JJ would say Hogan check you boom, this is your life. This is your vision. This is your destination. Stop trying to get people to cosign. They don't always understand where you're going. They don't always understand your path. They don't know what you're called to. Sometimes it's just in you. Sometimes it's just in your heart. And you got to be okay with doing what you know you're supposed to do, even if nobody else cosines even if nobody else, everybody else might think you're crazy. Or you're making bad decisions. But you will know in your heart because peace will tell you. You know, I told y'all when I moved to Texas when I was 23 years old. I'm out of here South Carolina goodbye. I need something new. I'm moving in Texas. Everybody in my life thought I was tripping. Everybody in my life that I was tripping. You don't know nobody there. You just picking up and moving across the country? What's going on with you? Should we be worried? And I get it. It came out of nowhere. It didn't make sense, even to me. But I had peace about it. I knew it. I knew it in my heart. I knew I was supposed to go. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I scared? Yes. Was I unsure? Yes. But there was something in my heart that I knew. That's what I was supposed to do. So you know what I did. I didn't tell a lot of people. I didn't ask a lot of permission. I didn't talk about it a whole lot. Because I know if I talked about it enough, they would talk me out of it out of love out of love. I couldn't allow that to happen, because I knew I was supposed to go. So stop trying to get people to cosign. Make sure that you got your blinders on. And you're looking towards your destination, and you're continuing to move. Waiting doesn't have to be idle. Waiting doesn't have to be a boring time. Waiting doesn't have to be a frustrating time. Waiting can be your preparation time. Waiting can be your motivation time. Waiting can be an exciting time, if you will just believe that where you're going is actually gonna happen. So I want you to align your behavior with what you believe. I want you to do the last thing you know you're supposed to do until the next thing comes. And I want you to put your blinders on. Don't look too The left or the right, stop getting trying to get people to cosign. And keep doing what you know, you are supposed to be doing. So let me tell y'all some, I had to have this conversation with you all today, because I needed to have it with me. I needed to hear this today. But as I am waiting, I'm going to actively wait. I will not allow myself to fall into frustration. I will not allow myself to fall into doubt. But I will align my behavior with what I believe is coming. And I'm gonna put my blinders on and I'm gonna keep doing what I'm supposed to do right now. Until the next door opens to the next thing comes because I know I believe it. I believe it is coming. So I'm gonna act like I believe it's coming. And I encourage you to do the same thing. Actively wait friend, actively wait is common. So y'all know what comes next. You know what I'm gonna say? You are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved. You got this! Love, always PBJ