Greg Lyles is a Gas Mechanic at Consumers Energy. His son, Creg, has been missing for nearly two years. Greg's message for all of us is simple: Be who you are.
Greg Lyles is a Gas Mechanic at Consumers Energy. His son, Creg, has been missing for nearly two years. Greg's message for all of us is simple: Be who you are.
Description
Me You Us, sponsored by Consumers Energy, dives deeper into the physical, financial, emotional, social, and professional pillars that make up our overall well-being and contribute to our mental health. Through the sharing of personal experiences and conversations with industry experts, we can collaboratively support one another and increase our consideration for the personal well-being of those around us.
Greg Lyles is a Gas Mechanic at Consumers Energy. His son, Creg, has been missing for nearly two years. Greg's message for all of us is simple: Be who you are.
William Krieger
The views and opinions of the guests of the Me You Us podcast do not represent the views and opinions of Consumers Energy. Hello, everyone and welcome to Me You Us, a wellbeing podcast. It's another wellbeing Wednesday here at Consumers Energy. And I'm your host Bill Krieger. Today, my guest is Greg Lyles. He's a gas mechanic in the Royal Oak headquarters here at Consumers Energy. So Greg, if you'll introduce yourself, we'll get the conversation started.
Greg Lyles
Good morning, my name is Gregory Lyles. Been with Consumers Energy 31 and a half years. First, I'd like to thank my Consumers family, on the support that they have gave me and also to Bill for having me today. I'm here just to try to let parents know about their kids. It's no matter what age they are. They're still your kid.
William Krieger
All right. Well, thanks for that. And it's interesting. You've got 31 years here at Consumers. I've got 28 years. So we came here, just around the same time. It took all this time for us to meet. So it's, it's great to have you here and to see a face to face.
Greg Lyles
Thanks for having me.
William Krieger
Absolutely, absolutely. So let's talk a little bit about your career here at Consumers Energy. So you started here 31 years ago, have you always been in the gas department?
Greg Lyles
No, I was started out as a meter reader. And I did 20 months. But the rest of my time everyone went around from workforce 2000 always stuck with distribution. I was a gas lines worker, trenching machine operator, and street utility, when we had street utilities back then, and just worked myself up. And now I'm here, sitting here with you and having a good conversation.
William Krieger
Well, thanks. And it's interesting because a lot of the folks I talked to at Consumers start out their career with I was a Meter Reader. So that seemed to be a great place to, to get people to come into the company and learn who we are and figure out what they want to do. I started out as a dispatcher myself and have done lots of different jobs, which is the kind of the beauty of working here because you're not stuck in any one place unless you find a place you like, right, and then you stay there. Now before coming to Consumers, though. And I found this out this morning when you came over. You're a veteran you served in the army. Could you talk a little bit about your time in the army and what you did?
Greg Lyles
Well, I was at an infantry unit, eighth ID out of Germany, and I got shipped to Mannheim, Germany, Coleman barracks, and young kid 18 years old. In Germany, I was married, married at the time to my high school sweetheart, Mary Lyles, and you know, just the things that back in a military life, you still have those tendencies, you know that you watch everything and, but you know, it's, it's, I think every person should start out in the military, to let them learn how it is to be a man or a woman or, you know, a grown up.
William Krieger
Yeah, I mean, I grew up fairly quickly, myself with my time in the military spent most of my adult life in the military in some form or fashion. It's interesting that you started out in Germany, because I know that you like German things, German cars, German clocks. Is that where you got that love of all things? German?
Greg Lyles
Oh, yeah. BMWs that were always in Mercedes Benz was they taxis over there. And, you know, just had a fascination of seeing the different the Rhine River and, you know, like, biblical times to where you got one man, this has run in like, maybe 200 sheep, you know, and with just a German shepherd or a dog.
William Krieger
Yeah, very, very much simpler. Things are today. Exactly. That's definitely it. So you talked a little bit about Mary Lyles, your high school sweetheart. Oh, yeah. Did you get married prior to going into the army or
Greg Lyles
No, I come up, come back home to marry her. And believe it or not, it's a long story. So she told me if I loved her, I'd marry her. And we been together to four years that in high school, so I said what? When I come home after basic training? I'll marry you. And I did. David Ford was in my wedding. He's a pretty well-known guy around the state. I have a lot of people that I went to high school with that works here at Consumers. Rose Brinson, Ronnie Pryor, you know, it's a lot of people that, that we went to the military, and Consumers kind of hired, you know, military people back then.
William Krieger
Well, that's interesting so I get the feeling that a man's word is his bond. It's interesting to me, it sounds like maybe she proposed to you and you didn't propose to her? Is that what I'm getting on?
Greg Lyles
That's exactly what it was. Cuz I had, um, my uncle was Nate Waters. And he was, you know, safety committee, and his mother is my grandmother. And I was like, always her kid. So she didn't agree with me getting married at a young age. But it worked out.
William Krieger
I was going to say it seems like it might have worked out for you. So how many years have you married, been married?
Greg Lyles
36 years. And add four on to that, 40 years. So we've been together 40 years. We were 15 years old at the time. Now we're 55. Which I'm not scared to say my age. But oh, yes. It's nice.
William Krieger
Well, that's great. And congratulations. Because I mean, It's when people get married young. We all. Yeah, you know, we're all kind of seeing it as especially high school sweethearts. But I've heard many stories of high school sweethearts, staying married for their entire lives. So congratulations to you. Now, not only did you serve in the military, but you also came to work at Consumers Energy. Married your high school sweetheart. I mean, this sounds like an amazing life. So far. You had two sons as well.
Greg Lyles
Yeah. I consider it a Cinderella story. You know? You think things can't go wrong. Everything's working great. You have a great job within Consumers Energy. And you know, you, you take life, you take jobs, you take everything for granted. Until something a tragedy happened. And then it makes you really look around and say, Why me or why this happened so….
William Krieger
And let's talk about that a little bit, too. So you have two sons? Yes. You have Greg and Creg. Yes, I do. Now, I gotta ask though when they were really little. No, my mom. My name was Bill. My brother's name is Brook and my sister's name is Amy. They don't sound anything alike. But she sometimes would get so angry that she couldn't figure out whose name was What did you run into that at all? Because your kids His names are very similar.
Greg Lyles
Greg and Creg. And the reason being they only 11 months apart. And me going to Germany of course, that's things happen. And I thought I'd spend the rest of my life in the military. Um, and Creg's name is spell is C R E G where a lot of people think his name was spelled C R A I G great kids. Never gave me trouble. Like, you know, a lot of things and a lot of places that that we grew up in life that me and my uncle Nate Waters grew up and we were what they say you get a whooping from a neighbor, if you did wrong, and then when you come home, you get another whooping. That's the era that I grew up in.
William Krieger
Well, and I remember so my grandparents were from the south. I remember they lived here in Lansing over on Erie street that there's no houses there anymore. But if you got in trouble, my grandma would send you out back to get a switch. And anyone who knows what a switch is also knows and I remember comedian telling this joke about this, but it's true. If you did not get the proper size switch. She would go out back and pick up the whole tree and beat you.
Greg Lyles
Yeah. Oh, that that's how my grandmother was, and that’s Nate Waters’ mom and she just had a birthday, which she would have been 106, on March the second. But man, she would discipline you and my grandfather wouldn't do it a thing, but that was her job.
William Krieger
Right. Right. And I think um, you know, it's funny. I think our grandparents is especially our grandmothers, really kind of made us who we are today. I mean, our parents had a lot to do with it. But yes, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents too. So I totally get that. Well, so let's talk about Greg a bit. What's he doing now? And in you know, where's his life headed?
Greg Lyles
Well, Greg, Greg is working in a gym. He has three kids; he has two girls and a boy. They love they dad, oh my god. I have them a lot. And, you know, they, they're just like kids that always want to crawl up around your neck and all that, whether they're getting older now, you know, 17 years. 12. And, and that's Talana. Tajaya 17 Jamir is just turned 11 here Sunday. And a you player, my middle granddaughter loves to dance. She's a cheerleader. My oldest is pining away. She's wanting to go to college work at McDonald's. And when I go through the line, I kind of tease her, you know. Hey, well, Papa, I have your lunch today. I said, Well, what am I getting? You can get $1 Happy Meal. What? You know. It's fun. It's fun.
William Krieger
It sounds very busy too. Oh, yeah, I know. I have a one granddaughter and she's in Alabama, so we don't get to see them very often. But when they come to visit, I'm tired. When they go home exhausted. I used to laugh at people that would say that. But I get it now.
Greg Lyles
Oh, yeah, they come summer spring vacation. They have to stay the whole week. They don't just stay two days. And oh my god, but me and my wife, Mary. We spoil, you know, they can go to the refrigerator and get a pop. When they are at home mom and dad don’t let them do that. You know, right, we let them just have a good time.
William Krieger
So do you get feedback? So I know that sometimes I get feedback about how you would never let me do that when I was that age, or grandparents different. Like it doesn't matter as much.
Greg Lyles
No, it doesn’t at all. And, you know, I used to cling up under my grandfather, Nate Waters’ dad, and his mom. You know, I had a mom and dad, but I just said, uh, uh, as a young kid, I felt that I wanted to be with my grandparents to help them. You know, it's like, I kind of felt sorry for him for being older. And
William Krieger
Hopefully someday someone will feel sorry for us when we get older, right?
Greg Lyles
Exactly that well, we'll be in a nursing home, I think.
William Krieger
Something like that. So now let's talk a bit about Creg. And yeah, and Creg would be or is how old now?
Greg Lyles
He would be 34. Okay, all right. 35. And July the third.
William Krieger
And let's, let's talk a bit about that. So, how was Creg growing up? And what kinds of things did he do and what was he interested in?
Greg Lyles
Creg was always a church going person, you know, he went to Friendship Missionary Baptist Church in Pontiac, which all of my family, my uncle Nate, my grandfather was a deacon. My grandmother was a nurse. And he kind of even though we switched church and went to pastor McDonald, which is our pastor now, but his dad was my mother and grandmother and grandfather and uncle Nate. You know, they had a group called the Crusaders to they sung, and you know, my son kind of leached off to that. And he was a director at Friendship Missionary Baptist Church in Pontiac. Real, real good director.
William Krieger
It's pretty amazing. Now, I know that at one point, you had a conversation about with your son about his sexuality. And can you talk a little bit about that conversation and what, what brought that up and why you would why you would talk with him about that.
Greg Lyles
Well, I talked to him like that Bill, because by him growing up, I always knew that he was a special kid, always protected home. And I just come out to tell him son, I know that you're gay. And when that came out, it's like, I relieved a ton of bricks from over his head and, and I told him it was alright to be that way because you are still my son. And I'm here kind of today Bill, you know is what heavy in my heart I want everybody to come out and be who you are. You're no different than me and you are sitting here talking black or white, red, green. You know, we're all human. Everybody bleeds. And you know all the people and you know; I don't want to single people out on them again my Consumers family. Garrett Rochow. Gary Hegedus. You know, Steve McKee, Laquavian Jones, my uncle Nate Waters. Even the OQ people everywhere I go. It’s no matter what headquarters that I'm at the people here my name and all I am so sorry. And you try to hold back to tears, but you have the love because you would think a person wouldn't come up to you and say, hey, I couldn't imagine. When we met the first thing you told me Bill is, man, I couldn't imagine one of my kids being missing. You know, and it's not like the first 48 where we get 45 minutes or an hour, and then the police catch the criminal.
William Krieger
So I want to I want to stop for just a second just so the audience can kind of catch up with our conversation. Right? Is that you and Creg had this conversation about him being gay? In the last it's been two years now. Yes, it is. So two years ago, correct. Came up missing? Yes. And in at this point, no one knows where he is at? No, but I want to back up just a little bit. Okay. Um, did your relationship with your son change after you had that conversation with him?
Greg Lyles
No, not at all. Oh, man, the love in this kid. Because I lifted a burden off him because he thought Dad would not accept that. But I went to him, Son, I know who you are, be who you are you 33 at the time. And he went to where he didn't care about who knew how he was. And again, the LGBTQ, I take my hat off to them. Because they have a lot of burden. And how I want to say it, Bill, a lot of weight on their chest. And if people would just accept this person on who he is. And it would help out a lot. It would.
William Krieger
So Creg was a bit older then when you had this conversation. And then how soon after that,
Greg Lyles
One year, one year, he had just got to where he was happy. My whole family accepted him. I got a Cousin Robbie, Tawana, Tracy. Oh my god, they love Creg to death. And he was just the type of person that he brought family together. And now that he's missing, I mean, everybody is not separating, but you can tell he was the type of person that bring family together.
William Krieger
Oh, absolutely. In so the hard part is that he's gone. You don't know where he's at.
Greg Lyles
No. And, you know, a hard part also is my wife. You know, and, you know, you understand a mother carried him nine months. And for them to lose, and I didn't, Bill, at first, you know, because you know how we are military people. We see people that we cared about that that's gone now, you know, and it just, it was a different thing. And um, why Mary are you getting up in the middle of the night? That's my son and I understand, and she feels a certain type of way that police force is not going fast enough. And that's anybody so what I pointed out to her is when we are watching the news, and we see another family that’s missing a kid, that's our kid also. And what do you think they think? So keep Balance. And then you know, she's dealing with her mother that she's taking care of this stage four cancer, breast cancer. And, you know, it’s a lot on her. And then her keeping up with me trying to cook me dinner and I go off to a beautiful job at Consumers, you know, it's it hurts Bill, you know, and I'm glad that you're here listening to my story, because I can see the heaviness in your heart. Like, what if I lost a child like this? So, you know, hey, it's something you'll never get over. And everybody talks about you just want closure. If you find your son, it will be closure. It’ll never be closure.
William Krieger
No, and I think that this is just my opinion, I think closure is false, you know, I lost my, my father-in-law, who I loved a lot. Three years ago, I lost my stepfather who, you know, was an awesome human being, two years ago, and you don't you don't ever get over it. No, you know, they're always there with you. I think you learned to deal with it. But there are days where you miss them so much, and, and all that. So there's never really any closure to me. It's just understanding how you feel and why you feel that way. And if you got to cry, you cry. If you have to scream into the pillow then you scream into the pillow, whatever it is, that works for you, you got to do it.
Greg Lyles
And I do it, Bill, but I do it to myself. And you know, you don't want your wife to see you cry or your grandkids. Papaw. You know, you have different attitudes from my son, Greg, the way he feels my grandkids that asked me papa, is Uncle Creg ever coming home? I don't know. I hope that he does. And I hope a miracle come out from all of this, but God has a way of doing things, Bill, and would I be ready to know the truth about where my son is? I don't know if I'll be ready for that. You know, would my wife be ready for that answer. So I think God does a lot of things to prepare you to. To prepare for the worse. And give you an example. Pastor McDonald has a sister named Zoenda and she was MacDonnell I don't know her last name now. But she worked at Consumers see ran supply and she checks on me a lot. And you know, every morning, just getting up reading a scripture can change your whole day. You know, and, and I try to you know, kiss my wife or, or people that have kids that think that their kids are grown. They're never grown to you. They're all ways your child. So you know, my, my focus today is to love your kids if they 30, 40, 10, 5. Love your kids, because you never know how long you have with your kid. And we were supposed to pass away before our kids. Can you imagine a kid passing before you and not only you're not seeing a kid you don't know where the kid is at?
William Krieger
And that's I can't even I wouldn't even pretend to imagine what that feels like it's, you know, it’s interesting that you said they're never they're never not your kids. You know, they it seems like even though my kids are older and out of the house and I'm a quote unquote empty nester, right. I still talk to them almost every day and they still call and say hey, I've got a dad question for you. Oh, yeah, you know, or, or, Hey, I'm really struggling with this. What should I do? I mean, you never ever, at least in my experience, you never stop being a parent,
Greg Lyles
My parents, which is Nate Waters, sister, right? I was only child. So you know, it’s kind of he was like my big brother. And he used to always take me to karate movies and pick up my bowling pins and when I throw the bowling ball and everything, you know, he he's going to hurt me for this one. But,
William Krieger
you know, I think everybody needs an Uncle Nate, though. Oh, yeah, everyone needs an Uncle Nate. My uncle Nate was a guy named Reuben. He's a really good friend of our families and he taught me how to build birdhouses and how to do gardening. In fact, in my basement, I have a flute that he made for me of when I was having surgery. As a way, he basically said if you play this flute, it will help your pain go away. That kind of thing. So I had my uncle Nate in in Reuben. Oh, yeah, I was like, you know, I think if we all look back, we all have that person who Oh, yeah. Is a family member not necessarily a direct family member, but someone who's in our family? Oh, he feels awful darn close to a direct family.
Greg Lyles
He’ll put a belt on you too. Yeah.
William Krieger
I could imagine the Nate would definitely keep folks in line. Oh, yeah. So you know, I know, this is a very difficult time for you. It is in? Well, I can't even say I know, I just I feel that it is you and I have talked quite a bit. Oh, yeah. Is there anything that people can do?
Greg Lyles
Um, Tim Gore, Tim Gore, Mike Nelson. They helped me along the way. Tim is the union president. And you know, it's just like a veteran that come back from war. And, you know, they can't think straight. They did a lot of things. And, like, again, Luke Jones, he stays in my head every day. Hey, Greg, are you okay? That that's the thing we need, but also Bill for parent to have a gay child, you still love them the same way. And I wish I wish I would have told him a long time ago that I understood. But, you know, God has his way on things.
William Krieger
The time probably felt right. For you. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we can all look back and wish that there were things that we had. Oh, yeah. Done. That. doesn't make it any better. That's for sure. Definitely can just take your time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. It's interesting, the guilt that we carry as parents. I remember. When I first started working at Consumers Energy, I worked a lot of hours in I was in electric dispatch. So whenever a storm came through, or whenever something happened, who worked a ton of hours in I didn't spend as much time with my son as I wanted to.
Greg Lyles
Exact-amundo. And that's where I take my hat off to Mary. Because a lot of times I wasn't there. And for a wife to understand that, you know, we go through a lot. And the spouse is also Yeah, but you know, not to cut you off Bill and, and throw things off from my son Creg. He was my hero, because he came to the point that he knew it would hurt dad. Mom already knew. I know. Right. But he was wider open to mom.
William Krieger
Well, and the thing I think that you can take away from that, too, Greg, is that you? You know, you know your children's so well. Oh, yeah. That they don't they really can't hide something like that from you. Yeah, it would have been great. If you could have told him earlier. Oh, yeah. But the truth is, like you knew it wasn't a point of judgment. It wasn't it wasn't anything. It was just a part of who your son is. It doesn't make him it doesn't make him any different. He's not, no doesn't stop being your son because you know these things. Because quite frankly, there's really nothing wrong. It's not like he came home and said I robbed a bank.
Greg Lyles
Exactly. Or I just murdered somebody. Or I never had problems out of my kids Bill that where I had to come home and maybe it was one incident with Greg, but he got a whooping. You know, he still remembers that to this day, but it stuck with his head and then you know, by their mom, being with them all the time, she'll grab something than a duck under the table. Where me as you know, throw my fists up at them now. Come on, Dad, you know, you didn't do that to your mom, you know, because mama throw shoe and mom won't get, you know,
William Krieger
Because mom will throw a shoe at them.
Greg Lyles
Thanks for making me laugh.
William Krieger
Not a problem at all. I mean, I think there's probably days where you have great memories and days where you have regrets and oh, yeah, that's just I think that's how, how life is in its, it's,
Greg Lyles
It's normal for parents. Yeah. And, you know, I speak I'm not a representative, but I do want to get with the LGBTQ here within Consumers Energy to, you know, share my stories because they don't have nothing to hide, you know, be who you are. And that will lift a lot of bricks off a chest or whatever.
William Krieger
No. And you and I were talking before we recorded this podcast that if we think back to probably the 50s and 60s, and maybe even early 70s, it was frowned upon for interracial couples. To get married. And I don't see that as any issue today. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same concept. Yep. Same concept, same fight. It's just different circumstance. And I think that's, we need to get there with all people. Yes. Right. Yes. At the, you know, it's not it's, it's about your character, it's about who you are, who you are and what you do in, in that it's not about the color of your skin, or who you love.
Greg Lyles
The racism that that happens today. You would think as far as we, we've, we've came that that wouldn't be an issue. You know, just like you welcome me, to your home or to your office. That's the way you would think society and life would be, but you know, those are the people that need prayer. You know, and, you know, again, Bill, I want to thank you this podcast, I never would have thought about it, had you not and Tim gore and invited me to speak my mind, because it was a lot of pressure held up. And, you know, we were supposed to do this a couple weeks ago, and I'm every night thinking, what am I going to tell Bill, you know, but you bring in the best out of me. And, you know, it's no pressure. And I feel great about that. And, again, thank you. And I'm glad it is a Consumers Energy podcasts and you are ahead of it; I would listen a lot more. And if you would need anything from me as far as help. I'm here for you and your family, any Consumers family that that needs to be talked to, I think I can help them out a lot.
William Krieger
And I think there's a lot of healing that comes from helping others, especially when they're going through something that you may relate to. So I appreciate that, that you'd be willing to do that. Now we are getting close to the end of the podcast, but I don't want to leave without asking you. What would you like the audience to take away from our conversation today? What's your message to them?
Greg Lyles
My message to parents and people in the gay community. You are special people. Parents don't judge your child or your soul for anybody because we're all the same. And my message to a lot of parents, the gay community. I'm not gay, but I understand where you at. And we should open up to these people and be right to them. But you know, my message is really I love them all, and be who you are.
William Krieger
I like that Greg, be who you are. That's so important because I think many times, we may be afraid or ashamed of who we are. And if we were just ourselves, we would save ourselves a lot of time and trouble. There's currently a $12,500 reward being offered to anyone that has information that leads law enforcement to Creg Lyles. You can contact the Waterford Police Department by calling 248-618-6041 and anonymous tips can be submitted at 248-674-C O P S or via email at policetips@waterfordmi.gov. Thank you to the audience for listening in today. The Me You Us podcast is proudly sponsored by Consumers Energy leaving Michigan better than we found it. Remember you can find the Me You Us podcast on all major podcasting platforms. So be sure to go out find us and subscribe if you or someone you know is in crisis, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. That's 1-800-273-8255 If you are a veteran or know a Veteran who is in crisis, you can call 1-800-273-8255 in press one for the Veterans Crisis Line, and remember to tune in every Wednesday, as we talk about the things that impact your personal wellbeing.