Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 25 years ago Teresa Stassines has learned that having a disability doesn't mean that you cannot live your life and be a leader.
Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 25 years ago Teresa Stassines has learned that having a disability doesn't mean that you cannot live your life and be a leader.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Hello everyone and welcome to mi u us a wellbeing podcast. It's another wellbeing Wednesday here at Consumers Energy. And I'm your host bill Krieger. Today, my guest is Teresa Stassines. She is the real estate land record and technology manager here at Consumers Energy. So Teresa, if you'd Introduce yourself, we'll get the conversation started.
Teresa Stassines
Hi, thank you, Bill. Again, my name is Teresa scenesse. And I've been with a company for 12 years. And I've been in the real estate department that entire time. And as the manager of the land records and technology team for 10 years, I am married to a wonderful man for 32 years. And I have two children, a boy and a girl, Jed emelina, and they are young adults. And I'm just very happy to be here.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Well, it's great to have you on we've known each other on and off. But most recently our work with capable, which for our audience members, if you don't know what capable is capable is our employee resource group here at Consumers Energy that works with folks who are differently abled. And for me capable really takes a look at some what I like to call hidden disabilities, things that you don't see many times when we think of disabilities, we think of things that we can see whether it's a wheelchair or crutches or something like that. But one of the things that really attracted me to capable was that we look at kind of the the person holistically. And many times there are things that we struggle with that you don't see. And as part of being members of capable you and I have talked quite a bit, I found out that you have a unique and interesting story to tell. You know, October is disabilities in employment month, it's also the month that capable has their abilities and Action Conference. And if anyone is interested in that, there'll be more information coming out. So please look for that in your email, and on the dei website, as well as capables website. But Teresa, if you wouldn't mind just kind of sharing with us some history about you that really makes this space near and dear to your heart.
Teresa Stassines
I am 54 years old, and I been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I've had it for about 25 years, and probably the the first 15, almost 20 years, things were going fine. And if you're not familiar with multiple sclerosis, it's an autoimmune disease where your body attacks the coat the coating on your nerves, the myelin and it exposes your nerves and causes nerve damage and which will then leave lesions on your brain. So anybody who has MS you know, no two people are alike. It could affect cognitive issues, mobility issues, memory, speech, blindness, anything, obviously, that your brain manages. So for me, the way ms has affected me is that as attack the brainstem, which is the mobility issues, so for example, one of the struggles I have is my brain will tell the muscles in my legs to contract. But the message coming back to my brain is it doesn't receive that message. So my muscles are constantly contracting, which causes a lot of pain. But that's, you know, some of the medications I take. And also with nerve pain I have which is different than muscle pain and all medications for muscle pain doesn't really manage the nerve pain. So luckily, there are a lot of great physicians out there that that have, you know, either success in different types of medications or, you know, they're they're testing new medications. So I've been very lucky to work with those physicians to try to get me to a place where we can manage my pain. But what that's done to me to affect my work life is I can't walk as well. So when I came to consumers, I had no tools to help with my walking, I just couldn't walk long distances. And then slowly it turned into needing a cane and a walker. And then I use a walker and wheelchair now, prior to even capable being around. I was working with a company and most importantly, my boss Marian Maher on how I could work remote and do my job. So with the support of her, I was able to do that. And this has been 667 years ago that I've been able to manage my team remote and very successfully. So I'm very, very blessed to be working for this company that has allowed me to do that and now having Capable around to support people like me, who are challenged with with a disability? Well,
Bill Krieger (Host)
thank you for sharing all that I, if it's all ready to kind of like to ask how did you find out that you had? Ms what what what happened in that got you to that point.
Teresa Stassines
So um, my first I received some issues with vertigo, I had a little bit of dizziness, I they ran through all the tests with MRIs and CAT scans, and nothing showed up on my brain. So fast forward two years, I was pregnant had my daughter, after she was born, I had numbness along one whole side of my body. So if you, you know, can imagine like taking a pin along your back, it would change the minute it hit my whole right side. So they did another MRI and still nothing on the brain. And then my neurologist decided to do a MRI on my neck, which then showed the brain stem and the lesion on my brain. So with multiple sclerosis, it's multiple, meaning you have multiple lesions. So for many, many years, I only had the one lesion, or so they thought, but what they found was I was getting that lesions in the same area. So they couldn't quite, you know, identified as multiple, so around, you know, probably 10 or 15 years ago, they fully treated it as multiple sclerosis.
Bill Krieger (Host)
So this is a progressive or can be a progressive.
Teresa Stassines
Yes. Yeah. So people that there's three types, there's the chronic, where it's, it's pretty progressive at the beginning, I had relapsing remitting, which every five to seven years, you might have an issue, and then it turns into the secondary progressive, which is what I currently have now. Which is that more progressive form?
Bill Krieger (Host)
Do they know what what some of the causes might be? Or is that still kind of a mystery?
Teresa Stassines
It really is a mystery. I mean, they they are looking into several areas, environment. They don't believe it's genetic. But they, there are some areas of the country where it's more predominant. They talk about in the colder climates, the further away you get from the equator, there's more cases. So it's, it could be virus related. So they're really not quite sure. But they're still trying to figure that out.
Bill Krieger (Host)
It sounds like they have some great treatments for it as well.
Teresa Stassines
Yes, yes, they sure do. And, you know, it's changing every day. Um, so it's it's exciting news, it's certainly changed a lot in the last 25 years.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Well, that's good to hear. And, you know, you talked about how it has progressed. So when you started working here at Consumers Energy, it was, it was different than what it is now. What was it like for you, when you had to go talk to somebody and say, Look, we need to, I need some sort of accommodation, or we need to work through this because I'm struggling here. What was that like for you? And how did that conversation go?
Teresa Stassines
It's very scary. I'm working. And being independent, and overall, independent is very important to me, and a lot of people with disabilities. Um, I was concerned, I would lose my job, I was very concerned, I would lose my job. Um, I probably pushed myself harder than I should have. Because of that concern, and if I would have had a conversation sooner, I think everything would have been better all the way around as, especially with stress and anxiety. But I did have a conversation with my boss who's been very supportive, like I mentioned early, or, and we reached out to, you know, HR, and at the time and the people in, you know, in charge and realize that there was a, an area that that was, you know, for ADA, and we met with them and found out that if my job could be performed successfully, remote from a remote position that, that I could do that. So, um, you know, my boss supported that. My team supported it. And I've been very, very lucky to, you know, continue work
Bill Krieger (Host)
well. And I think it's important to note that just because you are unable to do the work the way it has traditionally been done, or the way that you've done it in the past, it doesn't mean that you're not able to do the work.
Teresa Stassines
That's very true and You know, I think with, you know, unfortunately COVID What is a horrible, horrible situation. But what it did for I believe, with everybody working is it put everybody on the same playing field, we're all remote now people can understand where I, you know, come from some of the challenges I had, and I've been able to share with others, what I've learned by working remote.
Bill Krieger (Host)
So Teresa, you talked about challenges in working remote, when, like you said, Now many of us work remote. And so, you know, we're on a teams meeting, we're not in the same room, we kind of understand the etiquette behind not being in a face to face meeting. But what was it like for you to be a part of a meeting remote, when others were in the room,
Teresa Stassines
it was very challenging. I was, you know, this was before teams, so I was the, you know, person on the on the phone. And when usually, when people are in a meeting you're face to face, you're discussing things with one another. So it was very hard to keep me engaged. Or it was it was difficult for me to stay engaged as well. So it was very challenging. We worked through it, it you know, it was a learning experience. And of course, with teams, it makes things much easier. I also do not share my camera, because of my situation. You know, I'm in a position physically where, you know, the company has been able to help me with, you know, getting a big monitor, I'm, you know, kind of reclined a little bit. So I choose not to share my camera. But um, that really hasn't affected I don't believe with my team, we're very open with one another. And we've been pretty successful well in
Bill Krieger (Host)
and I think that's a that's a good news story there. And that's, you know, that's one of the things that as a company, early on, when we take a look at our we have a safety tailboard. But it's the safety and inclusion to a word where we talk about using our cameras, and whether or not that's optional. And I think that's really tends to be a judgment free zone. If we choose not to use our cameras on a particular day. Have you found that to be true?
Teresa Stassines
Yes, yes, there have been, you know, situations where, yes, it is, you know, up to the individual, it's not mandatory. But it you know, the the conversation is, wouldn't it be nice if we could do that it would be nice to see everyone's face and an eye. I agree with that. I like to see everyone else's face. But it's, it does. You know, it's hard to explain and have to explain why I don't. So I found that it's better to be open, but why don't share so that I'm not putting others in an uncomfortable position?
Bill Krieger (Host)
Well, you know, I think that's, that's nice. It helps people feel comfortable in that situation, but also, that you feel comfortable enough to share that with your co workers, especially in this day and age where we do hear that a lot. Oh, I love to see people's faces, and that sort of thing. And it's just not always possible. You know, another question, I have Theresa, and it's not something that we discussed prior. But how did how did this impact your family life as well? I mean, we can see where it did impact your ability to come to the office, but how did it impact your family life?
Teresa Stassines
Probably the biggest impact is, you know, I, I was well I can't say was I still am a bit of a control freak. So I was the one that you know, did everything around the house, I was up and down doing things non stop. I didn't sit a lot. And I remember always thinking, boy, I wish I could just sit five minutes, just have some five minutes to myself or put a movie on and watch TV. And, you know, be careful what you wish for sometimes. So that was probably the biggest challenge was letting go for me personally letting go of that control. And, you know, allowing others to do those things that that I used to do. And also some of those things were not that important in the grand scheme of things. You know, making sure that, you know, the dishwasher was loaded, everything was put away. Everything was in this perfect condition. You know, it's not always the most important thing. Being around family having family here was important. And I'm married to an RN, who, you know, that's very lucky for me that I have somebody in that position with that experience, but it does put pressure on him to want to fix things and this is something we've had to work through that. It can't be fixed, obviously. So we've worked through it. I think fairly successfully. Both my kids I have gone through college there. One is in Chicago, one is back home. So I think we're doing all right. Well, that's good. And
Bill Krieger (Host)
you I want to go back a little bit in in this part of the conversation because you said something important there is is learning to let go. And that having control all the time, and I don't know, sometimes I struggle with that myself is there like tips or techniques that you have used that you have found helpful, when you know that you just need to let go in in not necessarily control the situation?
Teresa Stassines
Yes, that was probably the biggest challenge. And one I didn't quite realize, I was dealing with till I had counseling, which I recommend to everyone, I think therapy is such a good way to talk to somebody that has no, you know, that can be completely objective, they know absolutely nothing about your family. And they can see things from the outside. So I was given a lot of tools from that aspect too. Because when I did feel out of control, and I couldn't control something, I would get a lot of anxiety. And being able to back myself down from that anxiety was to stimulate the left side of my brain. So I, you know, taught to try to do math problems, not something that you can answer right away that's memorize, but difficult multiplication, you know, facts or something like that, that really stops that fight or flight on the right side of your brain to focus on the left side. So that has really helped me to stop myself from you know, kind of going into a full blown anxiety attack because I don't have that control. Also, I've had to learn this, which was very difficult. And what the company offers is headspace and meditation, that is probably been the biggest key for me not only to handle anxiety, let go of control, but also pain management. And I have a visit one of my physicians is very supportive of alternative methods for pain management. And it's, you know, what I've been reading is that the medical community is also really supporting meditation, and mindfulness, you know, to help with this opioid epidemic that we have, because some of the medications that that would help me Are those medications and I refuse to take them at this point, or some other medications that would help with pain, but would affect me cognitively.
Bill Krieger (Host)
I'm glad that you brought up meditation because like you mentioned, we do have we do have headspace here at Consumers Energy for All of our co workers. By the way, if you're listening and you work for consumers energy, you have a free subscription to headspace. But I did find that meditation has been very, very helpful for my anxiety as well. And I don't know about you, but when I first kind of started I felt a little silly. And then I had this preconceived notion of what meditation was and how it was done. And then I started listening to headspace in looking at some of their webinars and realize that man that's just really fits into my life like I can get up in the morning and I can do this if I'm feeling anxiety I can do this it's been great in that respect. How How did you feel about it when you first started
Teresa Stassines
it was very difficult because my inner voice was very loud. You know, I attended actually some classes in person classes early on. And it was very difficult because the whole time I you know, what was running through my head was, Am I breathing? Right? Am I doing this correctly, you know, that I couldn't quite quiet my inner voice. So I'm with headspace and just working with my physician on my own. And there are some other applications out there that will help it I've been able to get away from what you call that silliness because it does sound very silly initially. And just find that inner inner voice that's quiet and it is different I believe for every one. Again, with you know, everything else, you have to find what works for you. But meditation is definitely something that I believe everyone can learn from.
Bill Krieger (Host)
So this really is kind of a an outside of the box question, but I got to ask so when you're when you're listening to headspace, like when I hear Andy's voice Come on, he's kind of the main guy at headspace. When he when he comes on like, I automatically start to read And I wonder if if, like, if Andy is the guy that does that for you, or if there's someone else in headspace that you listen to,
Teresa Stassines
um, it really isn't so much the person that I'm listening to, it's what I'm telling myself. So if I can, and this will sound strange, I'm sure. But, you know, once it starts, I have to kind of override that voice and say, you know, Okay, listen, Teresa, this is what's going to help, and I really have to talk to myself. And then I'll start to pay attention, and then I'll start to breathe in and focus on the breathing.
Bill Krieger (Host)
We've been talking a little bit about meditation. And I know that we didn't talk about this ahead of time. But if you're willing, I was thinking we could do like a one minute meditation to give the audience a taste of what we're talking about. And maybe that will help some other folks to kind of see what meditation is about, and maybe they'll try it out. What do you think? Absolutely. Okay, here we go. This is actually a mini meditation from headspace called let go stress. And I'm just going to hit play. And we're going to do this one minute meditation. And then we come back, we'll we'll talk about
Meditation
Hi, and welcome to headspace. So no matter what's going on in your life, right now, no matter how many thoughts are racing around your mind, no matter how the body's feeling, just take a moment to sit down. And take a big deep breath, breathing in through the nose. And out through the mouth. As you breathe in a sense of taking in fresh air, the lungs expanding, as you breathe out, the sense of letting go of any stress in the body, the mind is feeling muscles soften, and relax. Close your eyes if you'd like to one more, breathing deeply in through the nose. And out through the mouth. And just take a moment to pause, allow the thoughts to come and go. And then just gently opening the eyes again.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Alright, so that is one of the meditations that I use on a pretty regular basis is very quick only takes a minute. Just in that one minute, I feel my anxiety level reduced just a bit. So what are your thoughts on that?
Teresa Stassines
Yes, absolutely. I think when we, you know, have anxiety or our nervous, we're not breathing, like, I probably have been most of this conversation. But by by met, you know, focusing on something like this, where they're actually telling you to breathe in deep, and, and breathe out slowly, that will really eliminate that anxiety.
Bill Krieger (Host)
You know, I learned something new every time I talk to people and one of the things I learned was the technique that you talked about earlier too about doing math problems. You know, I've I've used a lot of use reading techniques, I've used the you know, Name something, you can touch Name something, you just, you know all the senses to try and calm myself down. But I never thought about math problems. So the next time I get the opportunity, I'm gonna give that a try.
Teresa Stassines
does help. It definitely does help because you're focusing on completing that math problem rather than that fight or flight. part of your brain that takes over sometimes.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Well, as, as happens frequently on the show. We are running up towards the end of the podcast, it's been great talking with you. And I'll tell you what time seems to fly when I'm having these great conversations. But before we go, Theresa, is there anything that you would like to leave the audience with?
Teresa Stassines
First and foremost, you know, reach out to capable, you know, capable is you can reach them through DNI on teams, or the peel box capable. But they're there to help they're there to answer questions, even if it's not for you, if it's for a family member, just even if it's just to understand in general, on what people with disabilities may be going through what what's out there to help. And then Personally, I have had to learn and this did not come easily that to share my story to tell my story. It's difficult to do. My opinion was I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. So I didn't share my story. But I think by doing that it's it's no longer controlling me. I'm able to control you know the the narrative there. So I'm asked questions on people with with disabilities, like I said, want to be independent. We want to feel part of the norm. But I welcome Questions, I would like people to ask questions. I know I've used this comment. That was a question that was brought up to me and another conversation I had where, you know, kids are so honest, they ask questions that generally parents try to, you know, stop them from asking. But their questions come from, you know, Authenticity, honesty. So, you know, think of it that way, when, you know, a child ask why do you have a cane? or Why are you in a wheelchair? You know, answer those questions. People want to understand people, most people are very, very good people, they just want to help or understand.
Bill Krieger (Host)
Well, thank you for that in Absolutely. I think sharing our stories is so very important, because is different as we all think we are, I think many ways we are alike. And that helps people see where we have those similarities. And I think I like what you said there as well, really assuming positive intent that sometimes people just want to know, and they don't know how to ask in a way that that we would like them to. But assuming positive in this hand can go a long way in helping that conversation along. So, Teresa, thank you so much for taking the time out to come on and share your story. I'm sure this will touch many others as they listened to the podcast, and I look forward to us talking again. Thanks, Bill. And thank you to the audience for tuning in today. Remember, you can subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcasting platform. And be sure to take a few minutes and fill out our survey to let us know how we're doing that can be found at HTTP, colon slash slash bi T dot L y slash me, dash y o u dash us and remember to tune in every Wednesday when we talk about the things that impact your personal Well-Being.