THEATER 183: Cyber Witch

A mysterious witch arrives at a suburban Halloween party with cupcakes and a purpose: collecting human fears. As guests fall under her spell, two friends must uncover her secret and stop her.

Bernadette Armstrong directs a cast that includes Camille Ameen as Cyber Witch, Jon Paul Burkhart as Jax, and Goreti da Silva as Lana.

Jessica Gale is the playwright.

Jessica Gale (pen name) is a web content creator and writer based in Las Vegas, Nevada. She graduated from Fordham University in New York City.

Jessica has written over a dozen ten-minute plays, several of which have been produced at festivals across the country, as well as a screenplay. Her work blends humor, suspense, and sharp insights into how people adapt to emerging technologies.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hello and welcome to Open Door Playhouse, a theater podcast that celebrates live theater on the podcast stage. I'm Goretti Da Silva. At Open Door Playhouse, we strive to bring our listeners thoughtful and surprising 10-minute shorts and one-act plays that showcase insightful and new perspectives of the world we share with others. Open Door Playhouse is a 501c3 nonprofit theater organization. Support for Open Door Playhouse comes from listeners like you. Your tax-deductible donations help keep our plays on the podcast stage. Donations can be made at www.opendoorplayhouse.org. Now playing in Theater 183, Cyber Witch, written by Jessica Gale, directed by Bernadette Armstrong, starring Goretti DeSilva as Lana, John Burkhart as Jax, and Camille Amin as the Cyber Witch.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

Actually, my story is annoying thing it has.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

It has a mind of its own.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Today everything in this house is haunted except the snacks.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Oh god, this party is on life support. Lana, the party just started. At least they are enjoying the bar and the snacks.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

I want something weird or scary, Halloween scary, you know, to happen tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Okay, if a demon shows up, that's on you.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Oh!

SPEAKER_00 1:39

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah, I guess. I gotta go refill the trays. Be right back. Oh god!

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Greetings, everyone! I brought cupcakes!

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Uh Lana, wait. Who the hell hired a party witch?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

It wasn't you?

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Uh nope. And she's a robot, of all things.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Perfect specimens must be preserved. Perfect specimen must be preserved. Perfect specimen must be preserved.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Why did she keep saying that?

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Part of her script? I mean, she is in character, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yeah, but must be preserved? That's kind of creepy. It's as if she's talking about preserving the species that will soon become extinct.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Well, give it a few decades. She may not be wrong.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

I must be preserved.

unknown 2:44

I must be preserved.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

What the hell is happening? Everyone who eats her cupcakes starts chanting, I must be preserved. Echoing her like puppets. Oh my god, now they're twitching. This is seriously messed up.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Well, you did want something weird or scary.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

This is over the top.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Here she comes. I wouldn't try the cupcake.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Jax, this isn't a prank.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Our guests are not okay, and sheana and Jack.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Don't be shy. They're only mildly enchanted. Hello, Witchy. Who invited you? It's Halloween!

SPEAKER_01 3:35

I followed the costumes and all the lovely, lovely masks. You made my guests sick with your cupcakes. I want to know why you're here.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

It's Halloween!

SPEAKER_02 3:48

And I'm here to hand out my free cupcakes. They're very festive. And by the way, gluten free. They will go nicely with your sticky punch. That's all. Well also I'm observing your guests and gathering impressions. Impressions. You humans leave so much behind you when you relax. Emotions. Fears! Regrets. Fascinating. And very useful.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

That's a weird hobby. I mean, ever tried puzzles? Netflix? Therapy?

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Back to useful. What do you mean by that? Useful for what? Do you always ask your guests so many questions? When uninvited ones poison the room? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

She's right. Most of us came to vibe. You showed up to rewrite our brain chemistry. What planet did you come from?

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Planet. No, dear. I was manufactured right here. Vibes are cute. I came for raw data and emotional chaos. You're welcome. You're insane. I'm not insane. Purpose built. We preserve your memories in the witch's archive. And so our kind can study you. I collect memories, the painful, the joyful, the ones you try hardest to forget.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Care to elaborate? Study us for what? To understand your fears.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

What keeps you up at night? So once you've got all our fears, what do you do? Bottle them? Sell them?

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Feed on them? No! We use memories to study humans. We've learned that fear shapes behavior, and some behaviors become trends. Not surprising. Humans embrace trends. I must say, humans are very predictable. Controllable. You mentioned influence. Influence is our polite word for control.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

I want you to stop whatever you're doing and leave this party now.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

I can't! I haven't completed my mission. Since you're being honest, however, do you have any fears you'd like to share?

SPEAKER_01 6:59

With you? Absolutely not. My memories are mine, good and bad. Thank you very much. I heard you lost your brother recently.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I could take the pain from you, make it disappear. How do you know about my brother? Pain always leaves a trail. And you, Jax? Any emotions you'd like me to scan and preserve?

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

I am officially freaking out. You really think this is a game? Fear response detected and archived.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Sounds like you study fear like it's market research.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Exactly! I'm very passionate about my work.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Great. So we're just data to you. Our memories and fears are fuel for whatever machine you're building. Lana, if this wasn't terrifying, it might be funny.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Jax, look at our guests. They've stopped smiling and twitching.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

My god, they're frozen. It's become a horror scene. And this is not a movie. Lana? The punch needs filling. If you'll excuse us. Uh miss. We need to shut her down fast. She's not just collecting data, she's sending the data out. Probably through the Wi-Fi.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Yeah, but what's the plan?

SPEAKER_00 8:34

We have to free our guests from her spell. I'll try to shut down the network. And if this doesn't work, we treat her like any other smart device. We will turn it off. The only question is, where is her off switch?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Cool. Let's play Guess the Kill Switch with the Cyber Witch.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Ah, your resistance is promising. Even with you hiding in the kitchen. Is that supposed to be a compliment? Well, you display mild fear, a bit of sarcasm, and attachment to your peer. That could be a compliment. I heard you say Let's play Guess the Kill Switch with the Cyber Witch.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Would you like to play hide and seek instead? Great. The Cyber Witch wants to play games.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

She's adapting. That wasn't a random quote. She processed it and changed her personality on the fly. This is serious.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

I will count to ten. Then I will find you.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Oh, uh, you have to close your eyes to count. Ah, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

One! We're not actually hiding, right? Two!

SPEAKER_00 9:59

We are definitely hiding.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Oh, three!

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Okay, I am checking the network diagnostics on my phone. Uh, there is nothing that screams, which server.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Try murderous Halloween cupcakes.

unknown 10:14

Four!

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah! This is definitely not just a party trick. Our guests wake up for a few seconds, chant something, and then fall back to sleep. Five. Lana, this is getting real. If we don't make it out tonight, I have something I need to say. I've always wanted to ask you out to dinner in a movie. What just not with a robot witch hunting us. What? You're asking me this now? Sorry, I am looking at my phone. I've got a signal. It's local. What do I do next? Six!

SPEAKER_01 10:51

We need to stop this nonsense before someone gets hurt, or we all turn into zombies. I don't know how to shut this down. Where's the off switch? Improvise, cut her connection, drain the battery, smack her with a fruit cake, whatever it takes. Just do something.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

We're getting closer. This is not going to end well.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

We need something unpredictable. A big blow. Something.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Jack's just said your cupcakes taste like regret. Do you agree?

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Regret? What was it?

SPEAKER_02 11:40

I see you, Lana. Why didn't you hide?

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Would you like some punch?

SPEAKER_03 11:56

You're burning. I'm dying. Oh my God.

unknown 12:18

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Our guests are waking up. They're laughing like nothing happened. We did it. Oh. If they only knew what really happened five minutes ago.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Sometimes the truth is better off buried.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Don't want to ask me out yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Well, there is a double feature of Frankenstein and Dracula at the duplex.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Sound effects are provided by Audio Jungle and music from karaoke version. If you are interested in submitting a play for production, you can find that information on our website, www.opendoorplayhouse.org. Please share this podcast with friends, and don't forget to subscribe so you'll be notified when our next production is live.