Welcome to Guided Harmonies, a podcast where I put words to my therapeutic music. My name is Margaret Dahlberg and today’s episode, Sweet Sorrow, was written for a woman who was learning to shed some deep grief she had been carrying for many years; todays words were inspired by a young woman who only knows to protect her grieving heart with anger.
Let me tell you how this works.
When we first enter this world, we have spent months in dark warmth, where we are cared for, nurtured and nourished by our mother’s protective womb. :53 Shortly before birth, we spend hours in great discomfort as we journey out of the womb. When we finally greet the world, we have moved from nourishing darkness to cold brightness. Suddenly our sense of safety is entirely dependent on the others in our life. How these people respond to us begins to mold our sense of self.
This is how our first experience with human grief begins. As we embark upon our journey of complex love and care with our families, we grieve the loss of the protective and nourishing womb. Yet this is also a time of joy as our people celebrate our arrival. Thus begins the co-existing pattern of celebration and grief.
There is a wonderful quote by an author named Catherine Burns that “grief is love squaring up to its oldest enemy”. As you listen to these words and allow yourself to be guided this journey Know it is your own love and willingness to care for yourself that brings you here today.
As we grow, our lives move and shift and there are many moments to grieve. For the most part, we do not notice them, and yet grief lives and accumulates in the depths of our being. Any time we are adjusting to something new, we are experience a fraction of grief. They can be small moments, like moving to a new home or neighborhood. Or they can be significant like losing a grandparent. These moments may be more abstract as well, like starting school and leaving our comfortable care-filled environment. Or entering puberty and leaving our childhood behind.
We all carry some amount of grief that often accumulates as we live our lives.So And when something big and obvious happens, we struggle with our deepest and saddest emotions. Few of us are taught how to grieve. Few of us are taught how to be sad.
Let’s take a journey through your life. As you explore your own moments, allow yourself to respond with any emotions that come up. You are safe here and now. This music will hold you and allow you to process whatever emotions you need to. Remember that grief is merely love, squaring up to its oldest enemy.
Think about small you. Begin your journey in your mother’s womb. What is happening in her life as you grow and develop? 6:25 Now imagine your birth and a happy family, ready to welcome you to the world. Allow any thoughts to come up, notice them and breathe and remember that love has brought you here today. 6:57 Journey into your early childhood. Where were you when you were very small? Who took care of you? What may have occurred that left you experiencing some grief?
Now move into your first few years at school. Where did you attend? Who were your friends? Which friends came and went? What was happening in your family? Can you recall the moments that may have created a sense of grief?
Now think about your experience with puberty. What was it like? Were you early, late or average? How did your family respond to your changing body & mood? How about Your friends? Were you at peace with these changes or was it a struggle?
Move yourself into highschool, first loves, college. Moving out of your family home. . . continue your journey through your adult years. Your 20’s. . . 30’s. . . 40’s. . . .keep going until you get to right now. What losses did you experience? How about big life changes? Your story is unique. Breathe as you explore your own life. Allow the music to hold you as you do, knowing you are safe and cared for here and now. If you are feeling a sense of brokenness, you will feel whole again.
Grief is love. To grieve means we have loved. The more profound our grief, the more profound our love.
Grief. . . . is love. . .
Breathe in this love. For You are love.