Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Interview With The Vampire: Emo Vamps, Campy Cruise and So Many Beautiful Men
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Take a journey into the sumptuous yet flawed world of Anne Rice's vampires as Tony and Dan sink their teeth into "Interview with the Vampire," the 1994 adaptation that tantalized audiences but left many fans of the novel bloodthirsty for more.
The hosts explore how this gothic tale suffers from its reluctance to embrace the passionate relationships at its core. While Tom Cruise goes full throttle as the flamboyant Lestat and Brad Pitt broods intensely as the tortured Louis, their chemistry never ignites the screen with the intensity described in Rice's prose. But amidst these missed opportunities shines Kirsten Dunst, whose haunting portrayal of the child vampire Claudia steals every scene—a remarkable achievement considering her young age and the Hollywood heavyweights surrounding her.
With their trademark humor, Tony and Dan pick apart the film's logical inconsistencies while appreciating its sumptuous visual aesthetic and practical effects. They examine how the 1990s cultural context limited the film's willingness to explore its queer subtext, creating a strange dissonance where characters who should be deeply connected barely seem to like each other.
The discussion ventures into fascinating territory as they consider the nature of immortality, the horror of eternal stasis, and how the film's portrayal of vampirism differs from both its source material and other vampire stories that followed. Whether you're a devoted fan of Rice's vampires or just curious about this influential piece of 90s cinema, this episode offers bloody good insights into what makes "Interview with the Vampire" both memorable and frustrating.
What vampire films do you think better capture the sensuality and horror of immortality? Share your thoughts in the comments and join us next week when we'll be reviewing the 2025 adaptation of "Snow White."
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Spooky or Sad Vampires?
Speaker 1Get ready for some spooky vampires.
Speaker 2They're just sad vampires, Stan. They're not spooky, they're just really really sad.
Speaker 1No, they're sad.
Speaker 2They're spooky, they're very emo.
Speaker 1No, they're very spooky.
Speaker 2I'm spooky in the sense, like boy. I hope I don't end up like them, because they're very sad.
Speaker 1Welcome to Ain't Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan, I am Tony. On this show we talk about a movie that Shannon picked.
Speaker 2Yay, Shannon. Shout out to Shannon.
Speaker 1Friend of the show Shannon. Friend of the show. Shannon Occasionally watches the show. I've seen it happen.
Speaker 2Does she really? I don't believe it.
Speaker 1I've heard her. I don't know that she listens to the entire thing or all of them, but she has listened to some of them.
Speaker 2Wow, I mean listen. That's pretty good for us, but she has listened to some of them.
Speaker 1Wow, I mean listen. That's pretty good for us. On each show, before we start, we talk about the movie we watched last week.
Speaker 2No, we'll talk about the movie in a minute.
Speaker 1We don't do that segment Each week. Did you learn something new? Yes, I absolutely want to talk about something.
Speaker 2All right, you finish your setup and then we'll go back.
Speaker 1Shannon picked the movie, my wife, she picked it. She picked Interview with a Vampire, 1994, two hours and two minutes.
Speaker 2Yeah, it felt it.
Speaker 1We don't.
Speaker 2It did feel like the past. Sometimes they don't, but this did.
Speaker 1But before we go into that, last week we watched Fountain of Youth and I was walking the dog and I was like you know what movies are about, you have characters and the characters have motivations to do something, and that's the whole idea of movies. Interesting concept.
Speaker 1The typical good movie. The typical let me just say, the typical good movie. The character has a motivation and then they usually have a sub motivation. So their motivations, like I want to discover the lost city. But what I really want to do is I want to come to terms with my father's legacy.
Speaker 2Okay, sure there we go. Did you re-watch lost city of z or whatever that's called? You should just have just said Lost City.
Speaker 1I've watched some of that movie. It's a great movie. That's a very fun movie. I'm sure if we dissected that movie we would be like well, what is Sandra? Bullock's character wants a certain thing. What's-his-name's character wants a certain thing Channing.
Speaker 2Tatum Channing Tatum wants a thing. Daniel Radcliffe, could Daniel Radcliffe, could you name the people in the movie, dan? They're very important to me, okay.
Speaker 1All three of those people have different things they want and they intermesh and then they all get them or don't get them at the end, and through what they went through, and Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2Look at that. That's seven. What is it? Bacon, seven layers of bacon, or whatever.
Speaker 1There it is Brad Pitt in a role where he was acting, he learned and he didn't have marbles in his mouth. So if you don't, put marbles in the guy's mouth, he can act.
Speaker 2This was a long time ago. He was still young, you know what I mean. He was still figuring it out.
Speaker 1He said kind of when he signed on to the movie he felt like he had a lot to do. You know he had like he had an arc and there's a character arc for him. They don't do it, they talk about it occasionally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's correct, but he said kind of, when Tom Cruise came in as Lestat, his thing sort of disappeared and he was just standing around in the movie Because he really feels like he's just standing around.
Speaker 2Unfortunately, I think the problem is like tom came in at a 12. Right, this is like cruise at a 12. I'm not saying it works. Let me be very, very clear. I'm not saying that that lestat works in this movie, but he is. He is going at a 12 like he is doing things. Whether they're appropriate or not we can discuss in a little bit. But I think brad was playing like a super under you know what I mean and tom's like super over. So I assume everyone was like oh, tom is doing the thing, tom is great. I feel like that's probably what happened. And then brad just felt lost in the shuffle.
Speaker 1And in the reviews that's kind of everyone was like Tom Cruise is doing a thing and you're like, is he?
Speaker 2Some people liked it, some people hated it, from what I could tell, but at the time it felt like more people liked it than didn't.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2From what I could tell you know it was a success.
Speaker 1It was a successful movie.
Speaker 2The long you know, the shannons of the world, who were diehard fans of the book were kind of like.
Speaker 1I don't know well, there was a big backlash when tom was cast.
Speaker 2From my understanding I remember that even ann rice was like I he's not lestat. And then eventually she came around to it. Whether that's true or not, I have no idea.
Speaker 1I think she said that she came around to it. I do not believe she came around to it. Whether that's true or not, I have no idea. I think she said that she came around to it. I do not believe she came around to it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean that's fair. I have heard that the show the Lestat is much better. I don't want to say better because some people like Tom, but more book accurate maybe would be a proper term.
Speaker 1They had the rights right. She sold the rights before the book came out, which is yeah, I don't even understand how that's possible.
Speaker 2It's just awesome.
Speaker 1It's amazing. And then she finally clawed them back and made the TV show and I read about the show and it's sort of interesting because the show takes place like a bunch of years after this movie and they sort of.
Speaker 2Oh, interesting, he's back again.
Speaker 1Louis is back talking to the reporter again. Oh he after he had talked to the reporter again essentially in this movie, I think or probably the book more accurately, because at the end of the movie Lestat is definitely taking him as a new concubine.
Speaker 2So exactly, that's the the whole point. Is it sort of the movie Lestat is?
Speaker 1definitely taking him as a new concubine. Exactly the whole point is it sort of deals with and then things don't exactly match up. So you're kind of like what's happening?
Speaker 2What's going on, can we?
Speaker 1trust super interesting, and they also talk about how it deals with gay and queer issues all over the place.
Speaker 2And this movie, the book you mean right, or the show the new, and this movie, the book you mean right or the show, the new tv show and the book, and absolutely definitely yeah and not this movie, this movie is the least dealing with queer issues.
Speaker 2It's, it's, it's painful how it is, they don't go anywhere near anything, it's yeah it's it. It is very 90s though because, like it's very of, it avoids it, like it doesn't condemn it, but it avoids it at all cost. Right, they're like we know, you know what we're talking about, but we're gonna keep it a secret, right, no one's gonna talk about it. Uh, if you understand it, you know you get it, but we're not gonna talk about it. I didn't like that. I just don't just Just embrace it.
Speaker 1Well, yeah, but they wanted to make a lot of money and they felt like, I mean, here 's Did it, it did well, it did well. Oprah Winfrey went and saw it left after 10 minutes because it was too gory and she felt it was demonic or something.
Speaker 2Oh cool, this movie. Just that probably boosts sales. You know what I?
Speaker 1mean, I guess, maybe when they ate the dogs, which was weird, that was weird.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, that was weird. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I don't know I didn't find this.
Speaker 1That's a strange reaction. I didn't find this movie visceral at all. Well, it was the 90s right.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know 90s, maybe we were much more innocent. I don't really remember that Because I mean I had already watched the Lost Boys, and that's way racier than this movie, you know. Because the Lost Boys and way better Years before this right Like a yeah oh, because this is what 94 right, and I think it was lost boys mid to late 80s, 86 or something, and the lost boys that's 87, so I mean still seven years before years.
Speaker 1Um, yeah, you know and and we'd have the shiny and not the shining salem's lot on tv, which I guess creeped a lot of people out. This movie is zero.
Speaker 2But here's the thing, right, if you go back and you watch the tv, salem's lot from that time not scary at all, right, but it was scary at that point, at that time. So like in the 90s. We were just a different. We were less dissented, we were less pieces of shit. Let's just call it as it is we're terrible human beings now. We're getting worse and worse as time goes on yeah. So this movie it's it's not romantic it's not creepy, no, but it should be it should be.
Speaker 1You know, like have these guys fall, you know, fall in love, you don't have to say it, but they don't even act like they're in love.
Speaker 2they don don't act like it, and that is, I think, one of the biggest detriments of the movie, because the whole storyline kind of relies on that relationship and it doesn't really feel like a relationship ever. You know what. I mean None of the relationships feel like relationships If I remember correctly, and we should ask Shannon this I feel like in the book there's a lot of talk about like I love you more than life itself, like I feel like it's a deep, deep love. I could be wrong, but I'm I it's been.
Introduction to Shannon's Movie Pick
Speaker 1I haven't read it since high school, but I feel like it was much more infatuation yeah, and she said there was lots of making out between the men and there were sure implied you know funny business going on between them, funny business.
Speaker 2As Dan avoids the topic, Butt play.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, so you know, it just feels so soulless. I don't even think these guys like each other. I don't even feel like they like each other.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, it's not. There's no connection between them, which is a huge, huge problem. I mean, that's all you know what I mean. The whole movie hinges on that, in my opinion, and that is not there. Maybe not the whole movie. Once we get Kirsten Dunst in, the dynamic changes for sure Something starts happening, but the first hour of that movie needs to feel much more weighted with emotions.
Speaker 1Kirsten Dunst shows up. Kirsten Dunst shows up and you're like, oh wow, People can act and interact and sort of have relationships. I wanted to ask you a question.
Speaker 2Picture yourself as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt can act and interact and sort of have relationships. I wanted to ask you a question. Yeah, picture yourself as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. You are a mega Hollywood star, you are a leading man, and then an 11-year-old girl comes into your movie and acts, circles around you. How do you feel inside? Do you think that hurt emotionally?
Speaker 1There was one scene where she I think it was in the theater and you know Louie's sitting there. She's sitting there and she's like acting with her eyes and he's just a dead fish sitting there.
Speaker 2So the difference is right. Brad is just sitting there and they're like roll cameras on Brad. All right, reactions Great. And now, kirstirsten, could you maybe have a feeling? Could you think about something instead of just sitting there like a, like a goober? Um, yeah, you know, because acting is all about internalizing and feeling things. Um, and brad, I you know, maybe you just hadn't learned, but when was legends of the fall? Was that before or after this? Because I thought again haven't seen that since probably middle school, high school.
Speaker 1Is that the horses or the fly fishing? The fly fishing, oh, I like that movie, tom Scare Right, me too, and I thought he was great in it.
Speaker 2So I just I wonder if that was before or after.
Speaker 1I don't know I think he was just checked out and I I think he just didn't. He didn't because I'm sure he just got. That note is like don't don't look at tom lovingly, don't do this, don't do that hey, hey, don't be gay.
Speaker 2That's what they were saying the whole time you gotta tone the 90s were a wild time man. Uh, legend of the fall same. So I get first of all, he had a great year, probably monetarily, yeah, but that's interesting because I remember him being very good in that movie.
Speaker 1Because that's real father and son relate, because it's two brothers and a dad. Right, yeah, him and Aiden Quinn, all this sort of relationship stuff.
Speaker 2Anthony Hopkins, he did all that stuff Well it's also another stacked cast, I guess, but this is also a stacked cast. It's hard. This is tough. Yeah, it's hard because she's better than him. Oh yeah, it's just very noticeable. Well, my big problem with this movie is that it needs to be played like Shakespeare. Well, it's written like. Just the dialogue, is you know?
Speaker 1Tries to be.
Speaker 2Of the time, as you might say.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, it just needs to be played, mannered and just like you know that was Victorian right yeah it is Victorian. Am I confusing?
Speaker 2my time periods? No, no, because I don't actually know. I think it is Victorian. Now I confusing my time periods. No, no, because I don't actually know.
Speaker 1Dan, I think it is Victorian Now. Victorian might be 1830s, I don't know.
Speaker 2I don't know what the I'm going to Google it right now. If I'm right, you owe me a steak dinner.
Speaker 1What the exact breakdowns are, but I think Queen Victoria is like the 1830s and 40s. Maybe yeah, you're right, was she?
Speaker 2Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1I don't know what post-Victorian is. This is sort of post-Victorian, who knows. But it needs to feel more mannered and like this yes. Because Christa Dunst comes in there and she brings the thing that I think Louis was supposed to be, which was the taste of what the new world is. Yes, you needed Lestat to be this mannered guy that falls in love with the rugged individualism of America.
Speaker 2Sure, which is what they say he is.
Speaker 1Does that help? It is what they say he is, and therein lies a Frisian. He wants to be doing this and then he's being this way. And then Claudia comes along and's even more of you know she's 30 years after him. I think she's even more just like, ah, the fire of America, and we don't get in that. We don't get any of that, we just sort of get. Tom Cruise feels like an American. He never feels like he's a 300-year-old vampire.
Speaker 1Sure Right, you know, antonio kind of feels like a 400-year-old vampire. Sure Right, you know, antonio kind of feels like a 400-year-old vampire Kind of.
Speaker 2Yeah, he kind of does, he kind of does. It is interesting that they both have the same like motivations, though in the end Well, they all want the hot dude which the hot new young thang that's what they want.
Speaker 1They want that new sweet ass.
Speaker 2By the way, way, he is very pretty. Oh, you thought you thought brad was very pretty. Oh, very pretty. Yeah, I don't. I don't think he's like he's not hot, right, because for me, like you know, you got to be a little rugged to be hot, but like he's very pretty, very, very pretty shannon, did you read hate it all the way, hated all the wigs.
Speaker 1She's like thought the wigs all well yeah fake and terrible and I'm like they didn't do anything. They didn't bother me that much.
Speaker 2One way or the other, yeah.
Speaker 1I was indifferent to the wigs.
Speaker 2Some of them felt too wiggy, Like they're too. What's the word? Volumous? Is that?
Speaker 1the right word. They had too much volume. Yeah, no, I agree. Thank you, smart way to do that.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like you gotta get its hair, guys. It's gotta be on your head a little bit, but it's fine Whatever.
Speaker 1And then Kristen Dunst's Claudia. Her hair 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2Just like beautiful.
Speaker 1Just like whoa, I wanna look at this. This is a character I wanna look at. She always she felt opulent, she felt rich. You know they kind of people love the production design and you're like I love all the stuff around her. But then you know some of the stuff with them and the rooms and the pianos and the fake blowing. You're just like, oh my God.
Speaker 2It's terrible. I mean listen, I thought it was a very nice looking movie.
Speaker 1Okay, good.
Speaker 2Okay, I did. I enjoyed it. I mean it's very gothic. It doesn't feel like a real world. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2But it's a vibe, for sure. Yes, now did you read that Anne Rice was upset when Tom Cruise was cast? Yes, and that one of the people she was looking at was tom hanks? Oh, I didn't read that she. Can you believe that shit?
Speaker 1that would have been terrible, god they would have been so bad her own. Who she wanted her number one for list that was julian sands her number one?
Speaker 2yes, but she mentioned in a Facebook article that she was after seeing Philadelphia she wanted to go after him for Lestat.
Speaker 1I hated Philadelphia.
Speaker 2Well, it's even a more depressing movie than this movie. It's not that it's depressing, it's just like-. Oh, that's my problem with movies.
Speaker 1Just a court movie. It's like oh, it's a court movie, but like a sad court movie, but that's you know, but you always forget.
Speaker 2You could say A Few Good Men is a court movie, dan, but that's not a sad court movie, that's a cool court movie. Do you not like A Few Good Men?
Speaker 1I think I've maybe seen it once you can't handle the truth.
Speaker 2It's great, dude. You should see it again.
Speaker 1It's good I love court movies and I see I forget that they, you know, to sort of deal with the issues that they dealt with in philadelphia. They have you had to back into it through a court sure, yeah, yeah, that makes sense and you're just like. I just want to see the movie that's I want to.
Speaker 2I want to. I just want to hear the story. I don just want to hear the story. I don't want to be told that yeah, I get what you're saying, I think.
Speaker 1Yeah, Just like this movie. They had to back into it and you got to the point where it's just like can you just show us what's really going on here, Except for I?
Speaker 2love Christian Slater and was excited every time he was on the screen. He was okay. I'm not saying he was great, I'm saying I like him Not in the movie. I just really like Christian Slater Supposed to be.
Speaker 1River Phoenix, but he died four weeks.
Speaker 2Died four weeks.
Speaker 1Christian Slater gave all of his money to charities.
Speaker 2Yeah, pretty great. All very sad to me, everything about this movie. Very sad, dan, that's what I'm going to say about this movie.
Speaker 1Very sad, dan, that's what I'm gonna say. It's all very sad. It's made you sad. Wow, it did.
Speaker 2Tony had emotions like a human being I don't know if it's like a human being, but I had emotions, I did not um san francisco night.
Speaker 1We're in a hotel. Here we have christian slater's character whose name is Daniel, which I do not believe we ever say. That name Took a long time to ever say. Brad's character's name who is Louis Once we get to Louis took a long time to ever say Lestat. We said Lestat, I think, before Louis, but it took a long time.
Speaker 2So, dan, I'm 40 years old. This movie came out when I was about nine. This movie came out when I was about nine. Excellent, so from the age of nine to 40,. I have said it as Lestat because I did not remember this movie. I did not know his name was Lestat, so I've said it Lestat for 30 years.
Speaker 1You just figured it, oh wow.
Brad Pitt's Character Arc and Tom Cruise's Performance
Speaker 2When they said it in the movie, I was like Brad, you're saying his name wrong. And then it came to me that he probably wasn't saying his name wrong.
Speaker 1It was wrong and then it came to me that he probably wasn't saying his name wrong. It was probably me and rice, probably standing there, probably saying how you're supposed to say the name correctly so he's going to be telling Christian Slater his life story. Why?
Speaker 1yeah, why and that's my point found the youth. We don't know why any of those characters do what they do. The people in this movie. We don't know why any of those characters do what they do. The people in this movie, we don't know why they do anything. We do not understand louis. Um, he's not going anywhere, he's just.
Speaker 2He's just pinballing around but also was was christian slater following him. Well, I was following.
Speaker 1You said you were following. You were following everyone's following each other everyone's following everyone.
Speaker 2Well, but why? Why?
Speaker 1oh, it doesn't matter, we don't know. Oh, okay great.
Speaker 2That was a very dramatic pause yeah.
Speaker 1Well, this movie does this a few times where they're like it was the best of times. It was the worst of times it was the worst of times and then you have, you know, in tale of two cities, then you have this, this book that's really thick and we get to see the best of times, this thing and the worst of times, probably.
Speaker 2Yeah, we do, yeah, oh yeah, I've never read it. I it's too big for me good book.
Speaker 1Um, the point being is is they do some of these things at times, but then they don't show us either.
Speaker 2Sure yeah 100%. I guess I'll trust you. You know what I'm saying. Like, if you tell me that, I'll just believe it for now.
Speaker 1There it is. You believe it? 1791, I was 24. I was a man, new Orleans. I had a dead wife and a kid and I was suicidal because of that. So I'm boozing it up and I'm See, this is the whole setup. He's playing cards and then he has four aces. Which good luck. You're never going to get four aces in your whole life. The percentage is that very tiny. And you're like well, is he cheating or is he not cheating? The other guy accuses him of cheating, pulls out the gun. It's like I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 2Then he's all like go ahead, put it right in the chest. Buddy, kill me, give me that shot on the chest.
Speaker 1Why does the guy not kill him?
Speaker 2I don't know, because he's chicken shit.
Speaker 1We don't know. They don't answer that question.
Speaker 2Well, you don't know.
Speaker 1Well, well, you don't know. Well, he says you know you lack something of your convictions.
Speaker 2I don't understand the words they speak. He should you know. Also, how do you know that those were aces?
Speaker 1Those were like blank cards. As far as I could tell right, there's a single dot in the middle. That's an ace. That's an ace. Ace is a one.
Speaker 2No, ace is like a zero. No, you're right. No, you're right. No, there is no one. I guess you're right. Wow Listen, I don't play a lot of Solitaire, Dan Okay. No that's cards. It's called cards. I don't play any backgammon. No, that's not cards. Is that cards?
Speaker 1Backgammon no.
Speaker 2Rummy 500.
Speaker 1It has cards in it has cards in it also cards. I longed for death um but did he though?
Speaker 1here's the thing I feel like it's probably really easy to kill yourself back in those days yeah, you know what I mean, yeah yeah, I'm just saying like, I'm not saying he should have or anything, but I just feel like maybe we're being a little disingenuous with the way we're saying these things yeah, so Lestat up in the second floor, falls in love with him, goes and saves him when he's about to be robbed, flies him up in the air only part of flying. We ever see him, do I believe?
Speaker 2yeah, yeah, tom yeah.
Speaker 1And he starts drinking him and then he drops him in the river. Yep, so he can decide to die if he wants to die in the river. I guess.
Speaker 2No, I think it's after the river that he has to make the decision right.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I mean-.
Speaker 2It was confusing because he doesn't get to choose. He either has to drink back or not. Yeah, we'll talk about that decision, right. Yeah, but I mean it was confusing because he doesn't get to choose. He just he either has to drink back or not.
Speaker 1Yeah, we'll talk about how you get changed, right we'll talk about the choice thing in a second, but I mean, I think maybe him dropping him in the river. It's like, well, if you want to die, then just drown yourself to death, or something yeah, just stay in there, I guess.
Speaker 2Yeah, if you crawl out, I'll, I'll give you some of my juice.
Speaker 1Some of my juice At home. He is sick. Lestache shows up and he's all like you're sick and you can't eat food because you're going to be a vampire. But I can give you another life, but I'm going to let you make a choice, A choice I never had. Okay.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1So he goes, he sees his final sunrise, or, yeah, his final sunrise. It's weird, it doesn't look like a sunrise.
Speaker 2And it's also not like a good sunrise. No, they should have waited until they had like a really nice vibrant sunrise.
Speaker 1I mean they should have shot a sunrise. It looked like a sunrise.
Speaker 2Sure, I mean, it would have helped.
Speaker 1Yeah, um, he goes back there, uh, and then list that they get the big music and then it's time to choose and he kind of goes like yeah, whatever I'll do it, which is not what a guy that was longing for death would say.
Speaker 2Very confusing.
Speaker 1So we don't the initial, the big initial thing that sets up the entire movie.
Speaker 2Yeah, Doesn't make any sense. I wanted to die. Someone told me I could die and instead I decided to live forever. That's the opposite. It's the complete opposite of what he said he wanted to do. Very confusing, unless he falls in love with Tom Cruise on sight, but we don't play that either.
Speaker 1If he looked into his eyes and was mesmerized and just was like oh, you have to give us a look in your eyes and in your mouth, just like the, you know, because at the end, christian slater's like I want to be a vampire too. Yeah, once again, I don't buy it, he's just like no, I don't make any sense I want to have all that power and you know because?
Speaker 2it sounds really cool when this guy has just been hours telling him what a torment it was being like my life is the worst, uh, and he's like I want that, I want to do that, I want to be sad for 200 years give it to me.
Speaker 1I wouldn't do it that way. I'd be like one of the cool vampires and ride a motorcycle.
Speaker 2Well, that's, isn't that what we all think? You know, we always think we're gonna be one of the cool ones, and then we're just not.
Speaker 1No no, vampire comes at me, I'm like, no, no kill, I do not want to be a vampire, I don't want to live forever.
Speaker 2I think I'm in.
Speaker 1You want to live forever.
Speaker 2Well, I mean, I'm not against it With that beard, do you want that?
Speaker 1beard growing back like that every time.
Speaker 2I mean I would shave better before it happens.
Speaker 1You know what I mean.
Speaker 2It would be like a Santa Claus, where he shaves and just curls right back. I could be a part of that. I want to see what the future holds. You know like where does this planet go? Because right now we're on a bad track. Does it make it another hundred years?
Speaker 1I'm curious. You want to sit through a hundred to see how terrible it goes.
Speaker 2That's like that's exciting to you. If I could choose, I would time travel. If we had a time machine, I would just hop 100, 100, 100 and just check it out. That would be more what I would prefer, but if my only option is live forever, I'd take it.
Speaker 1Wow, Tony wants to live forever Dan.
Speaker 2Let me be very clear I'm not going to kill people. I will eat off animals.
Speaker 1You just have a big dead pile of rats.
Speaker 2Well, I was thinking, and I don't really know, you don't have to drain something all the way, right? So if I farmed cows?
Speaker 1They implied that that one did it again, and I just drained cows yeah sure.
Speaker 2You know what I mean. Like I could just have a little suckle on a cow, have a little suckle on a cow, and then they're all fine still. And we lived for 20 years until they give me little cows. What are those? Called Calves?
Speaker 1So you're going to live out or you're going to have, like, your own farm where you eat the cows?
Speaker 2Oh yeah, I would live off the land, you know, because also, I don't want people around too much because I would probably eat them, because I don't think I have the best self-control, as you can see from my large stature Like, if people tasted as good as chocolate does, I'd be in real trouble. You'd be eating people. I'd be eating people left and right, never stopping. So I got to be isolated on a farm with some cows.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah. So he's now a vampire. His body dies. He goes back as a vampire. We get a few more rules, some vampires can read minds.
Speaker 2It's not really a rule, though, is it? You know, like some people can do some stuff, Other people do other stuff. You know who knows.
Speaker 1Whatever?
Speaker 2suits the story.
Speaker 1I said to Shannon is there magic in this? And she's like I don't know.
Speaker 2I'm like that's about right.
Speaker 1Yeah, just like so much of this movie's kind of like that you're just like well, this sort of rules, you know, crucifix is no coffins. Yes, why, why coffins? There's no explanation as to why, you know. I mean, can you just sleep in some place that's dark and safe?
Speaker 2I think so, because I don't think tom has a coffin at the end, right? No, well, right, so he's just in a cabin that is dark. I, I don't know it's, it's loosey-goosey for sure go see um.
Speaker 1So yeah, now they're vampires and okay, they're vampires, um, and then we start eating ladies at the bar. They they kill a girl somewhere and then just throw three coins on the table. I'm sorry, there is no situation. You know, this one's one of those things where it's like we killed two or three people a night and we just left bodies laying around everywhere. It's like no, this is too much.
Speaker 2The 1700s were wild.
Speaker 1That's what I heard I think Jack the Ripper killed like nine people and he was the biggest story in the world.
Speaker 2He's still famous now he didn't kill 100 people.
Speaker 1I don't think.
Speaker 2Yeah, they did. They killed hundreds.
Speaker 1I think it was like nine people. So you leave nine people laying around, which is what they're going to do in three fucking days.
Speaker 2Yeah, because he says twice a day, right, two or three people a day. Yeah, like that's a lot of people. We should do that math at some point.
Speaker 1It's a lot of people, and I also said this they're always living in the lap of luxury. They always have infinite amounts of money, and I said that, yeah, I'm curious about the lap of luxury they always have infinite amounts of money, and I said that to Shannon.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm curious about the money as well. Where did that all come from? Because they never work.
Speaker 1This is what Shannon said. She's all like oh, you can't worry about that, you know. Oh, I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2You got to give us a line.
Speaker 1You know where it's like I had a. You know he, tom Cruise, pulls out some gold or something or he kills somebody that has a bunch of whatever Sure, give us a line. He's like and whenever we need money, we need someone wealthy, we need someone of the aristocracy, whatever.
Speaker 2Just give us a line. Dan loves he needs a line. Everybody you got to give him a line.
Speaker 1Need a line, just because then I don't have to think about it. And so when they go, if you give us one line, then they can go to a thousand cities and a thousand lifetimes and you're like, well, that's how they have the money.
Speaker 2No, okay, all right, dan here we go yeah so if they, if they lived for 300 years, okay, the two of them. There's two vampires. That is 300 times 365 for days, times three for how many times I eat, times two for how many vampires. That is 657,000 people in 300 years. That is more than the population of Minneapolis, where I grew up.
Speaker 1Two-thirds of a million people they're going to have to kill over 300 years, feels like a lot. That's a lot of trail for an effective animal.
Speaker 2I feel like someone will notice. Someone's going to notice, yeah.
Speaker 1And in later vampire things they talk about that. You mesmerize them, you drink some, you don't kill them. You get people that work for you that like being drained, you know many things, and so they like it. But they want to have this big sexy line that they're killing two to three people a day.
Speaker 2It's just too many. It's just too many people, okay.
Speaker 1So Louie, so they're there at dinner after they killed this one girl. And then Louis, you know they're sitting there and Lestat picks up a rat, kills it, drains it into a glass and then gives it to Louis, kind of unprovoked. Louis drinks it and then he realizes that you can live off of animal blood and not human blood. And then he's all like, okay, now I'm going to stop taking human lives, I'm going to do that.
Speaker 2Right yeah, I'm going to do that. Right yeah, I'm going to do that. That sounds way better because I'm full of guilt. But he hasn't been full of guilt, he hasn't expressed this guilt at all, but he told you about it when, just now, when he was like oh, we can do this.
Vampire Rules and Blood-Drinking Lifestyle
Speaker 1I don't want to do this anymore because I'm guilty, because I was guilty yesterday, because I've been feeling guilty, even though we didn't talk or see it, I've been feeling it. The whole idea is you set up the situation and then you, then you have the resolve. You don't do the resolve and then explain oh yeah, I have the situation, so, so that resolve you just set up for me, I'm gonna go with dan.
Speaker 2The movie's already over two hours. Okay, we gotta move along.
Speaker 1He's telling us the thing afterwards. Just tell us it before. It's not very hard it seemed pretty difficult. I don't know about you okay, uh, so he's not eating anymore. We talk about the two to three tonight, but the stats? Aat's a snob. He likes to kill society people. Once again, this is New Orleans. There's not 10,000 people in society If you're killing two or three people in society every night.
Speaker 2Society is going to notice really quick, they're going to know and it's going to be gone pretty soon there's just not that many available. So that is the exact wrong thing to do. Not that I'm condoning killing poor people Kill poor people. But in that situation, if you're doing three a day you kind of got to you can't hit the people that people are going to notice right away.
Speaker 1Then we have this really weird throwaway line, which is a throwaway line that offended me. Uh-oh, we look for evildoers, because evildoers tasted better.
Speaker 2Sure, but then we never-. No, they don't. We never dealt with this evildoer.
Speaker 1You know who they like. They like young little boy. They like young people. They like a girl that's 21 years old and never had sex. That is who they like, that is exactly who they like. You know, the pure blood you know, they like purity, they do not like evildoers.
Speaker 2No, it's very weird that that I don't even remember, that being said, to be honest, because it probably just didn't make a lick of sense.
Speaker 1Nope, doesn't make sense in the movie. So then we go to the society thing. He picks up this old lady that's got a young guy, and then we set up this whole thing where she killed her husband. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2Because she's an evildoer.
Speaker 1Because she's an evildoer. They march her outside, they eat the boy and then the old lady's like oh, I'm so old, why are you interested in me. And then he's all like because I'm going to eat you, louis does.
Speaker 2And then he's like I changed my mind I'm gonna eat you or instead I'm gonna eat your sweet little dogs. I didn't like it.
Speaker 1I didn't like that at all normally you kill some dogs in a movie. I am, I hate your movie. I instantly hate your movie. This one I'm like whatever I don't.
Speaker 2It was weirdly ineffectual. Yeah, I agree, but it was still like a weird choice for me. I wasn't. I wasn't mad because normally I would be mad, but I was just like what? This is weird because? And then they kill her anyhow, like the snap her neck, which is pretty cool. Um, I don't know, it's a weird. It's a weird movie it's a weird movie.
Speaker 1It's a very weird movie. Uh, dr pistol stack kills her pissed, everyone's pissed. Uh, he's all like life without me would be. Even.
Speaker 2Oh, he starts eating chickens, the local that's the line that bothers me the most is life. What does he say?
Speaker 1he says life without me would be even more, even more unbearable right and we didn't.
Speaker 2I don't know if I agree with that.
Speaker 1He said I haven't seen. No, I know, but yeah.
Speaker 2And I just haven't seen evidence that Louis would be worse off without him. No, I feel like the opposite is true. So it's just a weird line, I don't know.
Speaker 1Louis is much happier when he's wandering around. Even when he's like looking for vampires in Europe and can't find them, he's happier. He's much more happier.
Speaker 2he just likes to wander and just chill like he's. That's kind of him. You know he's just a homebody in a way. You know he doesn't like to socialize and go out and eat fancy people he's eating the chickens. The locals get riled up, so many chickens, by the way, just like a hundred chickens. Is that how many chickens it takes to satisfy you in one night? I'm confused on how long this is going on, but it's a whole coop of chickens just bloodied, um he wants.
Speaker 1Louis wants to know the meaning of it all. Like what? What is the vampirism? What does vampirism mean? And you're kind of like you're not, you're never going to get good answers to that, but you know. But Lestat won't give him answers, he's like I'll, I'm not telling you anything, cause that's my secret?
Speaker 2Yeah, the thing is, he makes it seem like there is one, and I just don't believe that to be true and you're not.
Speaker 1You're not wholly convinced that that's what louis is missing yeah, no, not at all um what's that takes off. The servant girl comes in, which I think is sandy newton okay, so we she's definitely in the movie I saw her in the credits and I was like I don't remember her being in it.
Speaker 2Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1That's got to be her.
Speaker 2Good for her. I wonder if this is how she got mission impossible. I wonder if Tom and her like hit it off and then he was like, hey, come do mission impossible with me. That's cool.
Speaker 1Good for her. Um, he nib, and then she freaks out, and then the workers attack and then he's like this place is cursed, I'm the devil, and he sets his house on fire. The stats comes back, and this is which is cool.
Speaker 2It's a cool scene he is genuinely lighting a place on fire, like I'm sure it's not a house, but like he's running through that flame set, shit, shit.
Speaker 1I was like, wow, practical effects are scary but cool and it seemed like it was brad pitt and it felt like he was.
Speaker 2It was all it had to have been yes, yeah, which is the only time in the whole movie, maybe, that he's active, and it might just be real fear from from the actor himself being like I gotta get the fuck out of here. This place is on fire.
Speaker 1Lights his wife's painting on fire.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, interesting. Is that a symbol of something? I don't really understand it. It's above my head.
Speaker 1I don't know. And once again, if he is a homosexual guy, maybe he's not mourning his wife, maybe that was freedom and maybe he's conflicted because them dying has finally offered him freedom. You know, there's a lot of whatever.
Speaker 2Interesting.
Speaker 1We're never going to talk about any of that stuff.
Speaker 2Right, that's not a part of this movie.
Speaker 1So Lestat jumps back in and says another line pissed me off.
Speaker 2Burn everything we own.
Speaker 1He's pissed off he says we, he says we. I listened to it twice, I know.
Speaker 2And you're kind of like yo, bro, this is his plantation, I guess, yeah, you don't own shit, guy, it's not yours, Get out of here. Yeah, well, he thinks it is Well because they're in love. So you know common law, marriage and whatnot.
Speaker 1Yep, there it is. So he saves Louie and they have to go to a filthy cemetery to sleep because their coffins are burned, and then Louie's all like we belong in hell.
Speaker 2I suppose I mean I don't disagree.
Speaker 1They move to the waterfront. They eat a couple of hot lady, bleeds her into a glass, tips Louis with it Classic vampire.
Speaker 1Yeah, louis's out there eating rats. There's a plague in town. He goes to the plague area and he finds a dead woman with a small child. He goes over to the small child, small girl. She's all like, yeah, please help us. And then he vamps her. Yeah, and then Lestat's been following him around like creeping on him and he is happy. So what he's going to do is he's going to turn this little girl into a vampire.
Speaker 2In order to trick his boyfriend into staying. That's basically what's happening here. He's pulling the goalie metaphorically, and I love it.
Speaker 1Somebody falls asleep in a sewer and then I think what's happening here? He's pulling the goalie metaphorically and I love it. Somebody falls asleep in a sewer and then I think what's his name? Louis takes off and he falls asleep in the sewer and then he's all like how did you find me? And he's like I just followed the corpses of the rats. Yeah, so they're going to turn Claudia into a vampire and she gets off which?
Speaker 2is pretty messed up, by the way.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, very sad storyline here. And she's like drinking too much off of Lestat and Lestat's like get off of me girl.
Speaker 2Because she's a kid. She doesn't know how to control herself, just like me.
Speaker 1Then they say where's my mom Gone to heaven? Bl, blah, blah, blah. And so Louis has decided to stay for the girl and it sort of becomes my two gay dads.
Speaker 2Yeah, but only we don't talk about it.
Speaker 1She becomes a fierce killer.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay, well, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1She shows up and we finally have some tension in the movie.
Speaker 2We have a thing that's going on in the movie.
Speaker 1Yeah Right, he's made this little girl who is active right and sort of mischievous at times and problematic at times.
Speaker 2And just does stuff.
Speaker 1And then they have to sort of father, I mean Louis. The stat doesn't, but Louis does. Louis has to sort of be here you know kind of deal with her Kills, like a lady making her her dress. Then we do this whole weird thing where she has her own coffin but she creeps into Louis' coffin once she's gotten her rest. She has her own coffin but she creeps into Louie's coffin once she's gotten her rest.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like when the kids crawl into their parents' bed to sleep, you know, because they I don't know bad nightmares, or something.
Speaker 1And the one rule is never kill people in the house.
Speaker 2Which is very funny. It's good, it's a good rule. You know that's a good way to get caught.
Speaker 1And she's out there like luring ladies in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2She's like, sits on a bench and cries and the women come over there and she eats them. Oh my, that's funny. Yeah, and I would be interesting to me as if louis had to deal with the fact that he created someone that is then killing people, even though he didn't want to kill people it's interesting concept, but yeah, it'd be interesting is he living on rats now, or is he eating people again? No, once he kind of just goes back to eating people.
Speaker 1I think once they're all together, I'm pretty sure it's to the expedient typical parent just doing the expedient thing giving the kid the ipad we'll do whatever you want, okay, all right, stop crying yeah chicken mcnuggets every meal okay fine, hell yeah this. They have this nice little, this, this little uh montage where there's man Chicken McNuggets every meal Okay fine, hell yeah. They have this nice little montage where there's a guy teaching her piano. She goes doll shopping, she eats the doll guy and then she eats the piano teacher.
Speaker 1I wrote funny, that was great. They see this whole family, you know, like man, woman, kids, baby, and then they imply that they ate all of them, yeah, including the baby.
Speaker 2Including the baby, which is like just a little appetizer, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah, she's a sexy lady bathing in an open window. I'm like what's going on with this?
Speaker 2Yeah, I still don't really know. I mean it's very sad. This is like the second most sad thing in this movie to me. Oh really.
Speaker 1Yeah, sexy lady bathing, pure Creole a little little. What's her name says I want to be her.
Speaker 2Yeah, this is when she realized, starts to realize that she's never going to grow up, she never gets to experience adulthood, she's just stuck as a child for entire. That's a very sad notion to me yeah, it is uh.
Speaker 130 years later she's still a girl, but she's not a child.
Speaker 2Lestrat is still buying her dolls it's kind of weird which seems weird. Yeah, it seems it's been a long time. Guy, Mentally she's not a child. You know that because you're 300 years old, You're not an idiot.
Speaker 1So he's like I'm going to throw away all your dolls and they dig through there.
Speaker 2And under all the dolls is the Creole girl Smoking hot dead body and he rages at her.
Speaker 1He cuts her hair and then her hair just comes back. Well, she cuts her hair and then her hair just comes back and she cuts her hair.
Speaker 2She cuts it, yeah, as like an act of defiance or something, because she's like you, dress me like a doll. I'm never going to change this. She cuts her hair and it just grows right back. That would be upsetting.
Speaker 1Yeah, unless you had beautiful hair like her.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, my hair.
Speaker 1If I got turned into a vampire now and I was just bald for 300 years, I'd be pissed. Yeah, you'd have to be sad for you. And then she wants to know how to make a vamp and Lestat's like no, not going to tell you.
Speaker 2Yeah, I can't. Yeah, which is the right call, by the way, because she'd probably just make 100 friends and then it would be crazy town.
Speaker 1Yeah, that would be crazy town they go. She wants to go back to the plague house and she's like I don't know how it was created, and then she finds out that they both did it, so she's pissed at both of them, and but once again they just start back together.
Speaker 2Yeah, and then she's like I can't stay mad at you. Yeah, that's pretty much it. That's the resolution of that.
Speaker 1So basically, the two of them are sick of Lestat.
Speaker 2And so, claudia, you should be.
Speaker 1Claudia finds some, and this is an interesting scene. She finds these two twin boys and then she's all like I gave him a little bit of wine. He's like they're all for you, lestat, and he's all like for me, for me. And then she gives him this look where you're like you know that she's up to no good, she just gives this, I'm up to no good, and then Lestat just totally misses it.
Speaker 2And that's the point, he that he asks uh, do we forgive each other? And then, you know, she says yes and gives him that look where it's like no, no, but he just dives right in so he's either dense or he's dense he might just not understand women, dan. Okay, they are a confusing group, all right so it turns out that she's she.
Speaker 1They're both dead, but she's giving them laudanum which keeps them warm and so he's.
Speaker 2I don't know what any of that means, but I was like, okay, I'll just ride along here laudanum's like uh.
Speaker 1It's like uh, what is laudanum it's? It's like I think it might come from like an opium thing. So you're going to get. You're going to be like stoned. If you're a laudanum, I think you're like stoned, but euphoric. I think that's what laudanum is like.
Speaker 2That sounds fun.
Speaker 1I'm sure if we look it up you'll be like oh, I'm sure it's like a poppy extract or something.
Speaker 2I also don't know how to spell it, so I was like eh, too much work.
Speaker 1L-A-U-D-E-N-A-U-N. I think maybe.
Speaker 2It sounds like you just made up 19 more letters than there should be in the word.
Speaker 1we were talking about you don't know what you're talking about. And then they slit his throat. And then they she's smiling as she's bleeding out on a nice scene. The blood of his blood is covering the carpet and they have to step back so that the blood doesn't get on his feet.
Speaker 2She's like lift me up so that she doesn't get blood on it.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's pretty great you know, and that's the thing about this movie you're like oh, there's scenes like that, that you're like oh, okay, things are, there's some really nice moments.
Speaker 2Yeah, there's some really nice moments. Yeah, there's some really nice moments. There's a lot of beautiful shots. There's some good stuff in here. Tom Cruise isn't part of it. Brad Pitt's, I mean. Listen, I'm not saying they're terrible.
Speaker 1But they're not great. It's not a terrible movie. But you could. No, it's not a terrible movie. There's a lot of parts that are incredibly boring.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 1Yeah, not a terrible movie. There's a lot of parts that are incredibly boring. Oh yeah, yeah, you can't say that about the found a youth.
Speaker 2It wasn't boring. It wasn't boring, but I was mad the whole time. I think I I don't know which one I would pick. To be honest, they're both frustrating in their own ways yeah um, that's a lie. I'd rather be bored than angry, because they keep messing it up.
Speaker 1I'd rather enjoy the fun of Kristen Dunst's character.
Speaker 2That was more fun than anything in.
Speaker 1Fountain of Youth by a factor of 10. Did you see that in the thumbnail for the Fountain of Youth I put the drumming octopus in the background of the thumbnail? No, I didn't. It's very small so you can't see it. But I put the drum and octopus back there.
Speaker 2Oh, dan, you're obsessed. I love it. Good for you. That's what we call an Easter egg everybody.
Speaker 1Right when he turns Louis into the vampire, he's like ah, you have all these magic powers and you can see things. And the thing he sees he looks at the statue, and statues, like eyes, are like looking around, then it closes its eyes yeah, it's weird it's weird and I said to shannon what we needed was we needed like a scene of louis falling in love with the vampirism yes, and just being.
Speaker 2It has to be magical. It has to be like a beautiful, magical feeling and you want to keep that up. So how do you do that? You got to drink some blood.
Introducing Claudia: The Child Vampire
Speaker 1We give it about. It could be 90 seconds because, just like I said, the piano teacher, dollmaker killing the dollmaker killing the piano teacher. That was not a long. You know, this was not a bunch of stuff that we were wasting time on. We just need to see that he's interested in being a vampire and that it's selling him something.
Speaker 2Yeah, there's something about it that he likes, in spite of the fact that it kind of sucks.
Speaker 1You know what I mean. Yeah, if you're not having him fall in love with the dude, you got to have him fall in love with vampirism.
Speaker 2He doesn't fall in love with anything. Well, he falls in love with the girl, yes, the daughter, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1But it's not. But also it's a platonic love.
Speaker 2It's just it's I don't tell that to all the creeps out there that are like oh the kiss, oh the kiss. Was there a kiss? I mean we should, we'll wait, we'll, let's wait, we'll tell me towards the end of the movie. I don't have the kiss written in here, so I don't know what it is. You don't have the most infamous kiss in movie history written in here.
Speaker 1Wow, no the most infamous kiss in movie history is the one in Blank Check.
Speaker 2No, I don't think so. I think it's Blank.
Speaker 1Check Tony.
Speaker 2First of all Blank.
Speaker 1Check that one is awesome. Exactly, first of all, absolutely, that one is awesome. Okay, because, exactly because that's all the creepy guys that love that one. Uh, this is where I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2Duff is going for me and they never did. I just I don't understand what I was doing wrong back then. Damn um.
Speaker 1so they take him, they wrap him up in a carpet, they take him to to the swamp. It's just so good they push him in there with the reptiles.
Speaker 2Into the gators.
Speaker 1And the gator rolls into the thing. I was like I like this. They're going to go to Europe. They study what they need to do. They're getting ready. It takes them a month to get all their shit together. They're going to set their two birds free, the doorbell rings together. They're going to sit there, two birds free, the doorbell rings. He's like that must be the carriage. He goes to the doorbell. There's nobody there. I'm like oh no, oh no, here we go. You know, and that's the thing when a scene breaks out in this movie, it could be a scene. Yeah. You're like oh, okay, I'm into it. You know, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 2Let's, let's go, let's do this. There's list at playing the piano and then he gives like this is my, this is visually my favorite scene. Oh, you like that. He's got that. He's got. The drapery is like around. He's got that old, terrible, scary makeup and he's just tickling the ivories. It is. It's so gothic and iconic. I love it so much I hate that.
Speaker 1I hate the alligator, the snakes, the toads and the putrid life of the mississippi, but he can barely get you know, I don't buy it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean if, if you had, yeah, listen, I think tom cruise is a great actor, as we I'm sure we've talked about many times. I love Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1He can do. Certain actors can do certain things very, very well. Yes, 100%.
Speaker 2That doesn't mean, everyone can do everything and that's okay.
Speaker 1No, that's all right.
Speaker 2Some people can do everything. Who, who, dan? Are you talking about me? You're sweet, you're just a sweet, sweet guy.
Speaker 1If they're funny and stupid. Yes, so very, very specific, got it okay, cool. I mean, that's that's the thing. If you're acting and tony, you can act. That's the thing it. People may not understand it, but I've seen it. I've seen it.
Speaker 2I always talk about it I always talk about we.
Speaker 1We did this one improv once class and they were doing Meisner. Right, Was it Meisner we were doing?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And you were doing Meisner and it's just saying the same line. You get two people saying the same line.
Speaker 2I've told this story before, but it's one of my favorite stories of all time because I learned so much that day I learned as much, and it's also one of the only nice things you say about me, so you tell the story anytime you want to, dan. And so Tony was up there with somebody and each time Tony said the line, he told a different joke, which is the name of the game. By the way, people Tell a different joke with every line. I'm just doing a better job than other people.
Speaker 1Yeah, oh, you mean, that is what you're trying to get to.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, you mean that is what you're trying to get to? Yes, in that exercise. That's what you're trying to learn in that exercise is like how to deliver a line differently and get a different type of joke. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1But you weren't like. I want to do it now.
Speaker 2Or.
Speaker 1I want to do it now. You weren't doing funny voices to get your laughs, you were emoting and putting intention behind each line and it became funny and it was it was a beautiful thing to see it. It was, you know I wasn't the only one laughing there were. You know everybody was was into it. I don't know if they all understood what was happening, but now, somebody did probably it was great, it was, it was super nobody at the groundlings because they kicked me out of the groundlings.
Speaker 2That's not even true technically. You know what I mean. I technically graduated from groundlings.
Speaker 1I also don't think that they care about acting.
Speaker 2They also didn't seem to like me, dan. Okay, I've tried to be friends with a bunch of them. I follow them around and I call them on their I'm kidding.
Speaker 1Never seen a single one of them, since Acting is a weird thing, you know, acting.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean acting is weird, so and we, I don't know why we do it. It's dumb. Anyhow, back to what we were talking about, I just don't think Tom was the right choice. No that was a long-winded way, Like I applaud him for going for it, because he did Like he's trying stuff and he's given, you know, a lot of something.
Speaker 1I just never think it lands right. It's just not the. And Tony does have some deficiencies. He can't do, he's not great at regional accents and he knows I'm so bad at accents he knows not to go there and that's the thing is the person that needed to play Lestat, needed to do something, they needed to exist in some sort of different space, and he kind of and I guess at one point Brad Pitt was like well, we need to switch roles and I'll play Lestat and you'll play Louie and you're like Tom Cruise would have been a better Louie.
Speaker 2I actually agree with that notion. Someone should have let Brad do that. At least try it.
Speaker 1Because he is more of an embodiment of the age.
Speaker 2For sure Of America? Yeah, for sure he's a very American energy. Yeah, and you know, unfortunately in this movie, when he's not supposed to be.
Speaker 1You know, and if Brad Pitt is like being weird and aloof and strange and, like you know, if he was to reach over there and touch Tom Cruise's face, tom would be like you know, there would be like a Frisian there where you know, it would be interesting and I, I think, I think he could be more seductive in with with less, because Tom Cruise was never seductive, he never tried to be seductive.
Speaker 2So and that's, that is a big I don't want to say problem, but like that's a big thing for me is because we're all supposed to fall in love with him. He's even in the movie. He says nobody could resist me and I'm like I think I could. I really do think I could. Like if someone put me to that test, I think I'd pass it pretty easily and that's a problem. But I do think you're right. If Brad looked at me with those eyes and was sexy, like if he was emoting sexuality, I think I'd fall for it.
Speaker 1And I could buy the character he's playing as a 300-year-old guy. That's completely disaffected. And then he just adds a little bit of mustard in there about being interested in, it's like I'm so tired I get whatever I want, but you're what I want, you're like oh okay, I can feel that he wants something.
Speaker 2Okie dokie, come on over. Red Rover, red Rover, send Brad right over.
Speaker 1But nope, but um nope. So they set him on fire, and that was that might have been my biggest laugh of the movie. When they set up on fire, I was like you got problems that was funny.
Speaker 2I love it. He's burning to death and you're like this is comedy everybody very good.
Speaker 1Uh, they run, they get to the boat and then they. Then we have another classic line. That is so weird. They're sailing without us and you're like, wait a second, not a lot of time has passed and you, your carriage, was how are they sailing without you? I don't understand.
Speaker 2I don't know. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I dan, I can't. I can't get over this. Let's real quickly.
Speaker 1Yes, you're a good actor.
Speaker 2God, let it go and cut and print. That's going to stay in my thoughts forever. Thanks, dan. The thought of reversing roles Like I wish that they would I would love to see even now. I think we should do that now, like 30 years later. Let's reverse it and let's see how that goes, because we're both still acting. Ai can do it. Or AI can do it, because isn't that what happened in Pineapple Express? Wasn't like the Seth Rogen and the Dave Franco roles? Didn't Seth write that role for himself? And then?
Speaker 2for whatever reason they decided to switch because Franco's always a straight man and then that just worked. It just worked really well with Seth being the straight man and Franco not, and I don't know. I just think sometimes maybe we get too stuck on our ways, you know, try something new.
Speaker 1They get on the boat. Oh, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted them to run onto the boat and then we could have this hilarious scene where they're trying to get the boat to get moving. Okay, okay, okay, sail, sail. That's how I would have directed that scene.
Speaker 2Well, that would have been a very different movie, but I would have loved it.
Speaker 1New Orleans burns up you know another death for Lestat Okay.
Speaker 2I mean, but they burn down like a whole town you know Like it's a lot of fire. I don't know, it's not good.
Speaker 1It's not good. They get to Europe, there's a volcano, they walk around a lot, nothing's happening. And finally Brad is walking in the Paris streets, september 1870. And here comes this weird guy in a top hat and he starts mirroring his actions and then he starts walking up the walls and dancing and then he knocks his hat off. Shannon hated this scene, hated it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I loved it, oh Dan. It wasated it. I loved it, oh Dan.
Speaker 1I loved it. I'm like what is happening? Where are we? This is weird.
Speaker 2I think the difference for you two is she had that exact same reaction, but just in a very different way. The words she said were the exact same, but we say it more like what is happening? Why is this happening? Who is this idiot?
Speaker 1And then Antonio Banderas shows up. He walks over, gives him a card for the theater of vampires.
Speaker 2Which is weird. But okie doke.
Speaker 1Boom, we cut to the vampire theater scene. I think this was a scene I liked the most in the movie.
Speaker 2I get that.
Speaker 1We do a couple little bits where they chop some people in half. This guy falls in the well, and then they drag out this young lady that we all know is a real victim, and then she's like someone help me, and then they strip her down.
Speaker 2Which feels very unnecessary, by the way.
Speaker 1No, no, no, no, no, very enjoyable, Thank you.
Speaker 2Very enjoyable. Thank you, vampires.
Speaker 1If I'm going to terrorize a woman, she's going to be naked on the stage with all of my friends around.
Speaker 2That's very weird. I don't know. I don't know about it. They're vampires that's very weird. I don't know. I don't know about it. They're vampires. They should be weird vampires. I mean, they are weird. They're already weird. That guy was doing mime stuff in the alleyway dan, he's already weird.
Speaker 1Nobody likes him I mean, if you're gonna sell me on vampirism, you know, show me this thing. I'm like, well, now I'm thinking about it now, let's okay.
Speaker 2Vampire may not be so bad. You got my interest.
Speaker 1This is a little stage play. I could do that every night, that'd be fun I.
Speaker 2There's no way that it's gonna run for very long, because people are gonna realize that those people are now missing I know nonsense the implications of everything.
Speaker 1It's just like you have a whole theater where you do this every night.
Speaker 2How is that working? You have 100 to 200 witnesses where the cops will be like, hey, what happened to that girl? And they're like, well, they murdered her on stage. I think it was fake, but now she's missing, so it was probably real officer.
Speaker 1And there's one lady in the thing where she's all like take me. And they're like we'll do you later.
Speaker 2Which was great that was a fun little because you know people are fucked up People are weird, yeah.
Speaker 1So boom, boom, armand comes up, he bites her and you know, louis is like monstrous. He does not like it and he throws her back. They pick her up and she's descended upon by all the vampires.
Speaker 2Just visually great, oh yeah, when they all close in like yeah, visually stunning. I was a little confused because he kept talking about how they were going to make her their bride and then they tore her to pieces. So that was a lie.
Revolt Against Lestat and European Journey
Speaker 1I think bride is synonymous with lunch.
Speaker 2Oh, I see. Okay, yeah, I'm going to have bride pretty soon.
Speaker 1There it is, Ah damn. That's a joke. They've got to keep track of Tony's jokes.
Speaker 2We can end this episode now. I'm all good, let's just wrap it up.
Speaker 1They go downstairs. Beautiful set, that's where they live. They live down there, and so we start talking about what is a vampire, what's not a vampire. Does God exist, does God not exist? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, what is there to know?
Speaker 2Nobody knows the answers. You know, yeah, I mean, what is there to know? Nobody knows the answers.
Speaker 1Yeah, so they leave, they go back to their apartment and then Claudia's like Louis wants Armand and Armand wants Louis. Were you surprised?
Speaker 2I was a little surprised.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, I won't say I was surprised, I just didn't. I didn't read any of that you didn't feel that yeah, like I want to feel that I didn't feel it I would like to feel it.
Speaker 2Uh, because when she said, I was like are you sure, are you saying the names right? Because I didn't feel any of that tension whatsoever and that's you know once again.
Speaker 1That is, that is taking all of the, the gay stuff just so far out of it that you have to have this other character explain that these two characters are now in love with each other. You're like wait, yeah, wait what happened? Sure, I don't think so yeah, and once again you had to have shown at least some of it. You know our antonio had to do something.
Speaker 1He had to do something, that you know. Maybe he says, can't, we, can't, we just stay a little longer and claudia's like gives him a scowl, we can now. I have to eat okay, gtfo you know, they give you zero, nothing, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2I was blindsided by the love.
Speaker 1Yeah. So now we're like, okay, that's what's happening, and we find out that the only law you can't do is kill a vampire, and then all these guys can read your mind. So you know they killed the staff. They know, oops Problems, oops Problems. And then we sort of find out that all the vampires descended to decadence. They descended to decadence and by doing that they sort of lose their edge and die or get killed or whatever.
Speaker 2Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1Yeah. And so Louis, who is the new world vampire and still embodies humanity somehow, ish yeah Is seen as something special, at least to Armand.
Speaker 2And Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1And Lissette, because I was just wondering you know, what do they see in him other than you know he's a good looking man? Now we kind of explain it. We didn't show any of this, that they were into this while any of it was happening but well, the movie was happening. Yeah, for sure, yeah, so now we have an explanation as to why the movie's happening. We finally understand some of the what are we 90 minutes in?
Speaker 2I don't know Something like that. We're a ways into the movie. It's a ways.
Speaker 1And we're just finding out why the movie's happening.
Speaker 2You're like oh. I see, okay, here we go At least they're telling us now.
Speaker 1Third act. And Armand knew the stat Okay, so Claudia wants a mom. She brings home a lady and the lady lost her daughter. So Louis is like, okay, I'm going to do this, but this is going to be the last of my humanity. After I do this, all my humanity is gone, not true?
Speaker 2Not true at all. Not true at all. Really, he's very dramatic. He is very dramatic.
Speaker 1And you wish he was more dramatic.
Speaker 2He's very dramatic. He is very dramatic and you wish he was more dramatic, right Like, he has lines that are very dramatic and I wish that he embodied it a little bit more.
Speaker 1This movie could get so much soapier, and it would just add to the movie, be so fun, just like darn it.
Speaker 2What was the Johnny Depp movie Shadows, dark Shadows? Yeah, that was a terrible movie.
Speaker 1It's a bad movie, but he was at least sort of trying a thing.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was campy and there was some fun parts. So the vampires.
Speaker 1They come for it. This whole scene's great Justice. They grab them, they take them to the catacombs, they lock Louis in a box, they explain to Louis that they're going to just leave him in there for a hundred years, and he's going to be miserable. And Armand is like on the other side of the door doing nothing.
Speaker 2So was he locked up or, just like I'm not involved? They?
Speaker 1intentionally show him closing the door, not being involved Because later on he gets accused of doing all this because he did do it.
Speaker 2And he's like I didn't do any of it. Any of it.
Speaker 1He's like, okay, but you're complicit yeah, yeah, he, he stood by and let it all happen. Yeah, they put, and they, they put the girls in a. Well, we know what's going to happen to the girls, and they do they. We have a nice seat, and then we, we brick up louis in a metal casket in the wall.
Speaker 2Oh, we missed the kiss. You're right, it doesn't actually matter to this movie at all. When he's like this is the last of my humanity and he's laying out on the patio or whatever, oh, okay, she's basically like she's saying thank you, I love you, dad, you know, whatever. And then she kisses him on the lips very briefly and then we cut away like immediately and that made like waves. When it happened, everyone was. And then like, and then like a bunch of people in interviews were basically like sexualized and she's 11. So they were like oh, did you enjoy kissing one of the most hollywood's most beautiful men? And she's like no, I'm a kid like. This is not, I'm not interested, I don't. It was super weird and still weird now, um, but in my head. So I haven't seen this in so long. In my head I had blown up the kiss so much because of all the drama around it.
Speaker 1So you were ready for the kiss and I was like what?
Speaker 2I can't wait to see this weird kiss again between this 11 and 31-year-old person, Like what, it's going to blow my mind. And then it happened. I was like, oh yeah, I mean, that's not. I don't know. I mean, it's still weird. Right like that's still a weird thing for an 11 year old actress to have to do, but it wasn't like Scandalous I would say, you know.
Speaker 1But I was writing down whatever he was saying when he was Laying there, so I didn't even see it.
Speaker 2It's not done with the same intention as blank check.
Speaker 1Let's just Put it that way, dan they didn't set it up at a location and then music score it in where you're like yeah and like exact and make it like cool.
Speaker 2They're like this is the coolest thing that's ever happened in this kid's life.
Speaker 1It's not that sort of thing, which is a huge missed opportunity okay they're in the well, the sun comes up, they're screaming, and then boom, here we have Armand freeing up Louis and Armand says another line. That doesn't make any sense. I can't save her Right.
Speaker 2I couldn't save her.
Speaker 1No, he didn't say I couldn't save her.
Speaker 2No, that's what I'm saying I said I can't save her. Right, because the second part of that sentence is because I waited too long on purpose. So, like now, we can't save her, but it's already, she's already dead. That's what I'm saying. Like he waited, he specifically waited until he knew she was dead to free this guy, so that there was no chance of saving him, because he wanted Claudia gone so he could have Louis.
Speaker 1So Louis runs there, gets there they're just ash and they're clutching each other and it's very similar to the mother in the playroom and you're like, oh, okay. Well, that's a symbolic. It's like the Claudia plotline makes sense. You're like oh, this is a whole plotline that makes sense, has a structure, boom, okay.
Speaker 2And then we just kind of move on, which is a problem for me.
Speaker 1Yeah. So everyone says Big Claudia has his marriage, mom. He looks at Stephen Ray and then he's like I would have my revenge. Oh, he cries back with Christian.
Speaker 2Slater With Christian Slater.
Speaker 1Yeah, I felt nothing. Then we have this nice revenge scene where he goes and he burns up the theater and sickles some of the dudes, decapitates them.
Speaker 2Yeah, great, great scene.
Speaker 1Oh, then he fights. He fights Stephen Ray the dancing one, and just really nice scene where he has the sick old Stephen Ray's character runs around behind him really fast. But he knows where he's going, so he just swings around and cuts him in half.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's cool. That was nice, good little scene.
Speaker 1And then Armand rescues him. When he goes outside and it's sunlight, with a carriage yeah, great stuff him. When he goes outside and it's sunlight with a with a carriage yeah, great stuff, uh. And then armand, they have a big discussion, you know, um, and he's armand is like. I will teach you to be powerful, beautiful and without regret yep I him.
Speaker 2You lost him at that last one.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2He goes like no, because he's like hey, all I have is my regret bud.
Speaker 1Yeah, and so he like almost gives him a kiss and he's like peace out.
Speaker 2And he's like well, if that's all I need to learn, I can learn that on my own. Does he say that? Yeah, he says that. Well, if that's all I need to learn, I can learn that on my own. Does he say that? Oh, yeah, he says that, oh, okay, Because he's the most emo vampires you know, until Twilight, obviously.
Speaker 1Shannon said that in the book they went off together for a while.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, so that's what the end of this movie is definitely like Hollywood it up, from what I remember I I don't totally remember the ending, but it's not this it's not. It's not what happens here uh, it's really weird.
Speaker 1He wanders around. Yes, he says the world was a tomb to me, he misses claudia, but then he comes to the united states and then they invent the movies and so he watches and he's the rock I get, because that's how I escape as well.
Speaker 2So you know me and the stat. Nope, me and louie got a lot in common.
Speaker 1He's gonna like he's, it's gonna rock, because it would have been rough for like a lot of years with television, because television in the middle of the night was just just terrible, you know, it was just. I don't know if you remember this, but it was.
Speaker 2It was terrible right, I think the only tv I watched that night was scrambled porn, dan yeah, so I don't have to tell you, for a lot of years there wasn't that, there was just the normal channels and then you're right, it was terrible, yeah so he's loving it.
Speaker 1he's watching the movie. He's watching Superman. That was really weird, great stuff. He leaves a screening of Tequila Sunrise because he's got to watch Sunrise movies.
Speaker 2I was like that's Because he loves Sunrise.
Speaker 1That's really dorky. Walks back home and he's all like I smelled someone Old Death. Goes into the creepy house and boom, there's Lestat sitting in a chair rocket chair. Still alive, still alive-ish and he's all like Louie, my beautiful Louie, you know, give me some blood, give me some blood bud Like nah, no blood for you. Talk about the helicopter, tony. I mean, this is finally giving you something to talk about.
Speaker 2Oh, great, something I don't understand. So a helicopter with searchlights comes right outside his window, like steering the searchlight directly in on his body, like 10 feet out of his window. They're looking for him like 100%. I don't know why, but they're looking for him. And then they found him and they're like now we can leave. But in the middle Tom's like ah, the light, the light. And Brad Pitt's like it's fake light, don't worry, you're fine.
Speaker 1He's not like it's false light.
Speaker 2False light. Sorry, what the hell is false light?
Speaker 1He says it like we should know, what that means.
Speaker 2It means there's no UV rays. But also, this is not the first helicopter ever invented, so why doesn't Tom know that already?
Speaker 1I'm very confused by this scene. It was so weird and like why?
Speaker 2is there a?
Speaker 1helicopter beaming a light in there. I'm like I don't understand, Right outside.
Speaker 2And it's right outside the window. It's not like it's high in the sky like it does in LA, where searchlights kind of go across the ground. You see sky like it does in la, where, like, searchlights kind of go across the ground, you see it, it's literally levitating right outside the window, searchlights right in the pilots, like hey, there's two dudes in there, okay, let's go, and then they leave. I don't know man, do you?
Speaker 1know how, I don't know. Do you know, helicopters work?
Speaker 2I don't really do, they do they do, they levitate tony? I don't think yeah, they hover, they levitate. They levitate off the ground with their propeller blades up, top and behind so he's like sorry, bro, peace out.
Speaker 1He leaves, and then he goes and talks to the, the reporter the reporter.
Speaker 2Is that immediate, is that like the same night? You think, no, I don't know, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1But no, uh, yeah and the, the, you know. So the reporter gets to this we're up to, we're up to speed. And he's all like, make me into a vampire, make me into a vampire. And he's all like, ah, it's not gonna happen, but I'm good, maybe I'll eat you well what he said.
Speaker 2He says I, I failed again or something like that, and I was like what?
Speaker 1does that mean, I don't understand he's having trouble with journalists. I don't know. It's weird.
Speaker 2This is my third journalist this week, Ah shoot.
Speaker 1And then he runs away, gets in his car, drives away in his car and it's all like whew, that was a close escape. I got away from the vampire by not doing anything.
Speaker 2At all.
Speaker 1Then he reaches back. He's like, ah, push my tape recorder so I can listen to the story again. And the story starts playing, and then boom, the stat is in the car. The stat is eating. The stat chomps him. They crack, they don't crash they. They stop at the side of the road, then the stat gets in charge of the car and he has drunk. What does he say? He says like really stupid. I feel better already.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's what he says. Now I have a lot of questions, because ostensibly it's been like what? A hundred years since that Brad Pitt's been back and Lestat has just been staying in that cabin. Yeah, I guess. So why does he all of a sudden have the energy to go drink someone's blood? Why hasn't he done it before now? Just because he's so sad, is it? Is that what's like? He's just so lonely that he's like I'll just stay here.
Speaker 1I don't understand it maybe put some cat food out that's my guess.
Speaker 2Attract some animals, that's yeah, he's getting better animals.
Speaker 1You know, he just he, all right, he's moving up the food chain.
Speaker 2Slowly getting better day by day. I found a $5 bill and I bought cat food here. Whiskers, I don't know man, I don't know either. It's very strange. But then he's going to keep them, and then we get that sweet sweet song.
Speaker 1What's the name of that song? It's a Rolling Stones song.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Pleased to meet you. Sympathy for the Devil and who is singing it?
Speaker 2Who is doing it? I don't know who's doing it.
Speaker 1Guns N' Roses. Oh, guns N' Roses, I like them their final song that they did before slash and duff left oh man, tough stuff, tough stuff.
Speaker 2Every rose has its tone. Is that them, or is that poison?
Speaker 1that's poison um, they do, yeah, my 80s music straight september rain and they do sweet child of mine.
Speaker 2Right, that's guns and roses. I got that right. Yeah, my 80s music straight September Rain.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm and 80s Sweet Child of Mine. Right, that's Guns N' Roses, I got that right, sweet Chili O'Mine.
Speaker 2Sweet Chili and Lime.
Speaker 1Is that?
Speaker 2a joke that's been said before.
Speaker 1No, it's Sweet Chili O'Mine. They don't spell child, they spell C-H-I-L.
Speaker 2Oh, I thought you said Sweet Chili, chili and lime, as in like a chip. That would be a great commercial for a chip that is sweet chili and lime. Sweet chili and lime, right, I thought that's what you said, Dan, that's almost what I said, so at one point in this movie it took 18 years to get to the screen.
Speaker 1They were going to gender swap Louis and make him into a woman, and that woman was going to be Cher.
Speaker 2Cher, do you believe?
Speaker 1Okay, and she even recorded a weird song that was going to be like a-.
Speaker 2Well, now I'm back in.
Speaker 1Love and she used the song later in one of her other albums. But yeah, that's incredible. I don't think it would have worked.
Speaker 2That would be. No, I don't think that would have worked at all, but also like that's how hard they're trying to stay away from being gay.
Speaker 1That is how hard they're like. We don't want to be gay.
Speaker 2so bad, we're just going to change the genders of one of the characters.
Speaker 1That is how terrified they were.
Speaker 2The 90s? Yeah, the 90s man Yikes.
Speaker 1And that's what I always say is, like you know, we live in a terrible world. Terrible things happen and terrible government things try to terrible government us, but certain things get better.
The Theatre of Vampires
Speaker 2Yeah, hopefully more stuff gets better faster than it is, not to get political. This movie was from 1994.
Speaker 1This was not like 100 years ago, this was like 30 years ago and the world is a completely different world than it was when this movie came out with the kind of stuff that you can address and deal with.
Speaker 2But I do miss Zubas. Remember Zubas Pants? They're like yeah, the pants, zubas. Remember Zubas Pants? They're like yeah, the pants, zubas. Yeah. Yeah, they were like striped tiger striped but like vibrant colors. I'm going to try to find some. I bet someone still sells them.
Speaker 1I'm sure they still make them. Let me rephrase that I'm sure they make them again.
Speaker 2That's fair yeah.
Speaker 1Oh man, yeah, that's fair yeah oh man, we're gonna.
Speaker 2We're gonna get under two hours this time, thank god, I would hope so. We're only at 90 minutes, should we just? Should we start another, a new movie right now?
Speaker 1just after last week's was two hours, was two hours long it was, it was long our absolute longest for one of the worst movies we've ever. I I don't even know how we had time to complain about everything, that much I don't know, but we did a great job.
Speaker 2I don't listen back to any of our episodes.
Speaker 1Yeah, I do because we're fucking funny. Um, I like my own voice. I like now are you like an artist that doesn't like looking at your own stuff?
Speaker 2I would love to tell you yes, because I feel like that's what the good artists always say is like I don't watch my own work.
Speaker 2I love watching myself on screen I watch my stuff ad nauseum, but I mean I also pick apart all the flaws. That's how I feel. Like I learn is I look at them like, okay, you shouldn't be doing that. I flare my nostrils a lot and I hate that. So I have to be very cognizant while I'm acting, to not flare my nostrils. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what it is, but, like you know, wait, hold on.
Speaker 1You mean you like they just get big, that's like an active choice, so I gotta be very careful about that is that an active choice? You got like a time to flare no, it's not.
Speaker 2I have to actively choose not to do it because, like, there's two emotions my sad emotion flares my nostrils and my anger emotion flares my nostrils. So when I'm angry, I have to be very cognizant not to flex my nose muscles, because I flex a lot of muscles in my face when I get angry. But I have to be very cognizant to not to. Anyhow, I do watch my own stuff and I like my voice some of the time. I like when I'm talking normal and I have this voice. This, I think, is a very sexy voice but when I get excited.
Speaker 2I do get muppety, you know, so I don't love that, but I can't help it that's why you like working with me.
Speaker 1I out muppet you every time we got, we're dual muppets, so you know someone said that in one of the comments. For who's that?
Speaker 2oh, oh, so now my greatest fear has come to life Someone else called it out.
Speaker 1They called me.
Speaker 2You're right. You're right person. It's Dan, it's not me. It's Dan. Are you sure it wasn't me? You sure it was you did they say Dan?
Speaker 1I am sure it was me I don't know, could have been either one.
Speaker 2It's hard to be sure. They're probably still not listening, because I don't think that was a compliment, so we can't ask them which one it was.
Speaker 1Tony.
Speaker 2Yes Dan.
Speaker 1Anything else to say about the interview with the vampire? Not a vampire, the vampire.
Speaker 2Is that a debate?
Speaker 1A versus the I. If you were to ask me what the name of this movie was before I watched it, I would have said interview with with a vampire oh interesting, I think. Yeah, it's. No, it's a baby.
Speaker 2Yeah, the vampire interview with the vampire yeah interesting, yeah, so there you go um.
Speaker 1Tony, tell us about something you like this week.
Speaker 2So we started speaking of Victorian, which is probably why this was in my head. We started watching a 2020 dramedy called the Great. That's on Hulu and it's basically let me, let me, it's. Who's it about, catherine the Great? Oh, okay, who was, I believe? You know From somewhere, and she moves to Russia and becomes like the Empress of Russia and the guy who plays Lex Luthor In the new Superman.
Speaker 1Oh, Nicholas Holt.
Speaker 2In the X-Men, nicholas Holt, thank you. He plays the Emperor and he is batshit Crazy in this show and it's delightful.
Speaker 1Shannon watched that whole show. I watched a little bit of it, yeah.
Speaker 2We've only watched a couple episodes. It's wild. There are things that I'm just like what is going on, but it's fun.
Speaker 1We're having a lot of fun with it Crazy sex shit, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2Yep, you remember that correctly.
Speaker 1He's a full perv bonkers dude and that correctly. He's a full perv bonkers dude and they get into it. They like, they don't just like, oh, better skirt. They're like, we're going right in they don't skirt around.
Speaker 2They're not like this movie where they skirt around all those sexuality. No, they're full in it and it's great.
Speaker 1We live in a better world now.
Speaker 2We really do. We do, but except for the Zubas. If I can find Zubas, I'm back in. All right, dan, what did you watch this week?
Speaker 1There's a new show on YouTube, but it's on like the Netflix is a joke. It's called the Big Pitch, something, something with Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr, it's a British show, but it's British comedians pitching movies essentially to Jimmy Carr, who's sort of there acting as a Netflix agent.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay, I'm in.
Speaker 1So it's, you know it's a lot of the great British comedians, but it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2Yeah, that sounds delightful.
Speaker 1Bringing in the thing, and it's sort of that creative process where they do the pitch and then they try to improve upon it, and then they talk about who might be in it or how you would market it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2You know all the way Is there only two episodes so far.
Speaker 1There's a bunch more to go.
Speaker 2Okay, but yes, I'm going to watch this.
Speaker 1We just watched the two of them last night and they're just very fun. You know little 25 to 30 minute things that you can just watch and enjoy and you know, if you're not digging it then you can take off. Tony, we need another movie because I think we're going to run out.
Speaker 2I do not think we're going to run out, but we are going to do something that's relatively new. We did miss it when it came out, because other things came out at the same time and you said you didn't want to do it, so I'm going to make you do it anyhow, and it's, of course, snow White. We're going to watch Snow White. We're going to watch it. It's a kid's movie man Okay whatever. It's a kid's movie, but we got to. I have to watch it unless we do it for this podcast.
Speaker 1Rachel Siegler, siegler.
Speaker 2Great, great. That's not who I'm worried about. Who?
Speaker 1are you worried about?
Speaker 2Who's the queen? What's her name again? Oh, it's Wonder Woman.
Speaker 1It's Wonder Woman.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's supposed to be, yeah, why?
Speaker 1can't? She's supposed to be super terrible.
Speaker 2And I'm very excited about it. I gotta see it. I love her though. Yeah, she's great in the Fast and the Furious movies.
Speaker 1She was great in those and she was great in the first Wonder Woman movie. She was great.
Speaker 2We never watched what is it, 1984 or whatever. We never watched that one because we heard bad things so we just avoided it. Keep the good memories of the first one.
Speaker 1I did not finish it. I wondered how Pedro Pascal had a career after that movie oh god, really now I have to.
Speaker 2I didn't even know he was in it dan he plays um.
Speaker 1He plays what's his name that set up the justice league max. He plays maxwell lord lord oh do you know who maxwell lord is?
Speaker 2I do, yeah interesting and I don't know. Do you know who Maxwell Lord is? I do, yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1And I don't know if you you know, did you read the Justice League? When they came back, they got reformed, with Max Lord being in charge, and that's where the guy Gardner, I think I've dabbled.
Speaker 2I don't think I've like you know.
Speaker 1He was an incredible character. And I mean, that's where the guy Gardner Green Lantern that was his name that's where they set that guy in stone and they are running him exactly like that Interesting. Yeah, it's definitely a space. You know that comic is the one that's sort of, I think, defining a lot of what James Gunn is going to be doing Sure, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2So Well, I do think. I think they at least talk about Lorde in the new Superman. I don't know if they're, I don't know if he's going to be in it, as a character, but he's definitely like mentioned at some point, I think.
Speaker 1Yeah, so they make. He's kind of the secondary villain in Wonder Woman 84. Wonder Woman 84. Wonder Woman it's just very bad Interesting, and the cheetah thing with what's her name, right, yeah. You know, and it's like it's all predicated on, like a magical gem that makes your wishes come true.
Speaker 2Right, because dead Chris Pine comes back or something I don't know. I couldn't see it. I couldn't do it. That part was interesting. He's not there the whole movie.
Speaker 1Well, I mean, that aspect of the movie was what I found interesting Okay.
Speaker 2You know, the rest of it was just so weird. Well, he's great. I love him.
Speaker 1He's great and that's the thing about it is he's great in there. And he comes in there and you're like, oh, he's so believable. And then what's his name's? Max lord is the least believable thing. And then christian wiggs cheetah is also unbelievable. And you're like that was the thing about the first wonder woman movies. It felt very believable and and whatever that one where what's his name was playing batman and wonder woman came in. Ben affleck was playing one batman and then she was in one of the Batman movies or something with him.
Speaker 2Yeah, she comes in in Batman v Superman, which is silly. She comes in at the third act of that, when they're fighting the big bad guy as Wonder Woman.
Speaker 1I think it was in the first Justice League movie.
Speaker 2The three of them are sort of the two of them are in it. Yeah, they're also in that. Yeah, the three of them are sort of the two of them are in it.
Speaker 1Yeah, they're also in that. Yeah, and I liked that part of it.
Speaker 2I thought that was really interesting.
Speaker 1You know, I thought that part made sense, but whatever, whatever happened to that weird guy that was playing the Flash, that Ezra dude.
Speaker 2Ezra, I think bad things Is he done? I think it's not. I mean, I don't know for sure, but he was definitely in trouble.
Speaker 1Because you know he used to talk, Sorry, I believe it is, I believe pronouns are they? I believe I apologize, I'll look up that dude and see whatever happened, or that them Look them up and see whatever happened.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't think it's great, if I remember correctly, but I don't know.
Speaker 1Didn't end well for them.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Yeah, okay, what was the movie we were doing? Oh, snow White. Yeah, we're doing Snow.
Speaker 2White, we're doing classy, classy Disney Snow White. I'm sorry, dan, we have to do it, I don't care what you say.
Speaker 1It's my choice. I'm hoping it's 96 minutes long. That's what I'm hoping.
Speaker 2Oh, they did. Can you do?
Speaker 1that, oh yeah.
Speaker 2It's only an hour 49.
Final Confrontations and Reconciliations
Speaker 1It's not that bad. It's not that bad, I'll live with that. Yeah, we haven't done a lot of musicals. I like musicals.
Speaker 2I also enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Galavant yet? Did I tell you about?
Speaker 1that I think I watched the first episode or two.
Speaker 2I love Galilee. It was okay oh my God you like Well, you should watch more of it, Dan.
Speaker 1You like more straight up Broadway-ish things and I like older stuff.
Speaker 2Yeah, ah, yeah, the boring things.
Speaker 1I'm an Oklahoma person, and I'm a 30th-.
Speaker 2Oklahoma, where the wind does something about the plains. I got some of those words right.
Speaker 1Those are the that's, but we both like Moulin Rouge.
Speaker 2Right. That's where we overlap Right Moulin.
Speaker 1Rouge I was singing. Let me talk about a real movie. I sing that one where that one where he seduces her and they fall in love with a song An elephant that's the, you know. It's like that one where he seduces her and they fall in love with a song On the elephant. That's the, you know. It's like you want a show where two people are falling in love and it's not a bunch of dialogue, it's just a song and looks and you're like, oh yeah they love each other.
Speaker 2He's very charming in that movie. He's so good. He's so so good. Ewan McGregor Love that guy. We could be heroes greg, I love that guy. We could be heroes. Yeah, I watched that. I watched that one just for one day I watched that whole.
Speaker 2You will be me. No, I won't, I'll. I'll drink all the time. Sorry, I had the whole movie memorized. I don't know if I've ever told you that. Do you really? Yeah, yeah, I do. It's a good movie, obsessed, except for I turn it off before she, um, before that it happens.
Speaker 1No spoilers here, your ending is a happy ending you're damn right.
Speaker 2It is because that's what we want in life and that's what happens when people have consumption.
Speaker 1They have happy endings, don't they?
Speaker 2don't. I don't even know what it means, so I can just ignore it. Dan, that's what life is about consumption, ignorance uh, not survivable.
Speaker 1I don't think I got to consumption okay. So if you like what we see, give us a thumbs up, subscribe or leave a comment. You know you can. We did Shannon's movie, we could do your movie.
Speaker 2Yeah, we did. Now we're doing my movie, so someone else should pick. Get out there, Chad. No, I get to pick next time I'm already down to pick. Nah, don't let Dan pick. Don't let Dan pick.
Speaker 1Dan's pick is bad, let's shit and pick movies, something I want to do. I have a bunch of things I still want to do. We still have a few more months and then we'll be done, we'll solve.
Speaker 2Oh, okay, god, what I I didn't realize that we were quitting, so I guess the clock's ticking everybody.
Speaker 1I keep seeing like these 80s movies that you're like oh man, that looks so bad.
Speaker 2What a treat yeah.
Speaker 1Okay, we'll be back with snow, was it?
Speaker 2this year Snow White.
Speaker 1This year Snow White. I think it's this year, yeah, this year.
Speaker 2Yeah, it just came out in like June, earlier June, I think June 11th on Disney Plus.
Speaker 1Oh, it just came out, so like a couple weeks.
Speaker 2Great, yes, yeah, yeah. So it came out a.
Speaker 1We'll see you then.
Speaker 2Goodbye everybody.