The Men's Roundtable Series Podcast: A Man And His Mountain: Isolation vs. Solitude

Big shift first: we’re going weekly. More real talk, more voices, more chances to tackle the mountains that keep men stuck. From the first minute, we set a higher bar for honesty and action, then dive headlong into what a “mountain” really is—obstacle, calling, crucible—and why language shapes the climb you choose.

We open with Moses on the mount and the transformation that followed, then bring it down to ground level: the painful, clarifying climb that burns your legs and clears your mind. The panel calls out a common dodge—labeling long-term responsibilities as “just a season”—and exposes how ego and spiritual clichés can mask quitting. Real seasons demand preparation and completion. Count the cost. Finish the build.

The heart of the episode is a clean line between solitude and isolation. Solitude is intention: stepping away to pray, recharge, and sharpen so you can serve stronger. Isolation is avoidance: hiding from accountability and calling it independence. We share practical ways to choose the secret place over the silent cave, and how small habits—early mornings, honest check-ins, a quiet room with purpose—shift your posture from escape to preparation.

Then we press where it hurts: being burned by people and why pride keeps us from reaching out. You’ll hear a raw story of never having that one person to call—and a resolve to become that call for someone else. We push past imposter syndrome with a simple framework: leaders go first. Invite men in. Take the hit of initiative so others can enter with dignity. That’s how brotherhood forms: not from perfect men, but from present men who keep showing up.

If you’re carrying a mountain alone, this one’s for you. We name the traps, offer language you can use today, and challenge you to make one commitment that breaks isolation: send the text, schedule the coffee, or offer your number and mean it. Subscribe, share this with a man who needs a rope, and leave a review with the mountain you’re climbing. Let’s build the kind of brotherhood that turns pressure into purpose.

Transcript

QR Code And How To Subscribe

Setting The Theme: Men’s Mountains

Moses On The Mount And Transformation

Good Mountains Versus Bad Mountains

Book Shoutout: Wild At Heart

Audience Invitation: Name Your Mountain

Panel Defines “Mountain”: Obstacle, Challenge, Achievement

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Guess who we are? We're the Warriors on here on the Men's Roundtable Series podcast. I'm your host, Mr. U. We got some guys in the studio ready to rock tonight. And some folks in the uh live chat ready to join us. I'm excited about that. If you haven't been uh watching our show or you're not a fan, sorry to hear that. Become a fan today, please. We are the men's roundtable series podcast. And I've got a quick note and a really big announcement. Quick note this is your first time watching and listening. Upper right hand corner of your screen is a QR code. Use your camera on your phone, grab that. All the episodes of the Men's Round Table Series podcast. You can find it there. Use that QR code upper right hand corner of your screen. Big announcement, real quick. My Delaware. Oh but big announcement. All right. So in the month of March, it's gonna be next week. Now I've I've heard this from many of our fans and listeners, but this was solely a decision that I think had to be made. So instead of being a monthly podcast, which we have been up to this point, we're going to a weekly podcast. We need more content. I'm gonna be collaborating with these guys on the screen and other guys who do men's uh men's coaching and men's development. More content on this channel. That's what we need we needed for a long time. Now we're gonna have it, so a lot more collaboration. You're gonna see a lot more stuff going on. But we're gonna be a weekly podcast every Thursday starting in March. So excited about that guy. Hope you guys are too. We're talking about some things that we I think we need to get into, but let's see what's going on out here in this uh in this chat section. All right, my guy, fantastic podcast. I think it's the Compass Chronicles, I believe it's called. Javi is in the house, man. Big fan of him and his work. We do fantastic artwork, uh, podcast art. Man, rip yourself, brother. Awesome podcast art. That's the gym right here on the screen right here, man. Check him out, man. Thanks, Jobby. Man, appreciate you, brother. All right, we're gonna be talking a little bit about a topic. I think is everything we talk about is a germane to men, and it matters where where men are concerned. But I think in this case, it goes a little bit deeper. Now, to the thrill seeker, mountain climbing is exciting and it's exhilarating, but to the isolated, it equals exposure and forced transparency. You guys remember the story of Moses and Lord and him spending 40 days, 40 nights on the mount, speaking to the Lord? Remember that? Got a lot of questions about that one. What made his yes so automatic? What made him stay for a 40-day summit and didn't question it? What made him change so much that the people who he knew the most couldn't even recognize him when he came back down from the mountain? What made him drop all his discomfort and fear and want more time on the mountain? I don't think mountains are a bad thing all the time, but sometimes they are. We're gonna talk about both mountains, the good ones and the bad ones. I believe in this a book that I always quote called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. That is a game-changing book for anyone who aspires to be a full-blooded man. That book is gonna change you, it's gonna cut you, it's gonna make you cry, it's gonna call to uh order. The thing that's been in your life has been out of order. That book had that kind of potential. I believe that mountains create space for God in our life. And sometimes mountains can be a thing that we try to avoid because it's too big, it's too much work, it's too much to handle, it's too much of a challenge for us. So we're gonna get into what you know mountains are for each of us. Every man's gonna bring a mountain tonight to the table. If you're in the comment section watching and listening, bring your mountain to the comment section. This is the safe space. Nobody's gonna dog you or attack you in here. We don't play that game here. So drop your uh mountain in the comment section. And if you got a specific kind of comment, I may even bring this to the stage. We figure out how we're gonna work it out. But let's go ahead and get kicked off a little bit with this. So when I say mountain to you guys, tell me real quick, all of you guys, what do you think of first? What comes to mind for you when I say mountain?

SPEAKER_04 4:20

I'll start with that. Um, first thought is obstacle, uh, you know, but second thought, after you think about it for a second, is um challenge, you know, and I think that that's that's the biggest thing. Uh, because when you say obstacle, then that it becomes negative. And then you go, wait a minute, you know what? Yeah, all the mountains are not negative, man. So you you stick with uh you stick with challenge. We have a lot of challenges in our lives, and you know, a lot of us are gonna view that and go, hey, you know, I've got this mountain in front of me. We put a lot of those mountains in front of us, um, either on purpose or subconsciously. And so, you know, for me, that's what I think of challenge right there.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

I like it. All right, Dio, Oscar, how about you guys?

Adventure, Beauty, And The Peak Perspective

SPEAKER_01 4:59

I mean, I think achievement, you know, like a goal, something to strive towards, right? Because mountains are climbed. I know we descend when we get to the top, but the first thing that comes to mind of knee-jerk reaction is like, oh, that's a goal, that's a destination. Like, we want to get there to the top, right? Um you know, on the converse end of it, I think you know, because you said the good mountains and the bad mountains, right? So my brain's the wheels are already turning, right? I also think of the crushing, because if you're not climbing a mountain, right, a lot of times we can feel as though we're being crushed by that mountain. I mean that's I think it's two ends of that.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Okay, I like that. Oscar, how about you, brother?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

I uh being the knuckle dragon in the room here, guys. I think of it literally, right? I think of it as a struggle. It's hard to go up. I think of it as an adventure, and then I think of it as beauty because when you get to that peak of that mountain, it's I mean, it's sometimes breathtaking what happens. And um I think and that gives me the vision of how we want to get to the mountain, or we think like once I get there, that's it, it's good. Right? And then when we have that mindset of finishing, uh, if you guys ever look on the other side of the mountain, it's a lot easier to come back down than uh and go back up. Right. And so even though there's beauty in the peak, I think I think of adventure because getting to the very top, you're gonna face a lot of different things.

Climbing Story: Pain, Clarity, And Resolve

Is A Mountain A Calling Or Confrontation?

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Yeah, yeah. In that respect, too, we're we're going against gravity too. That's right. In our in our in our uh ascension. When we're descending, we're uh a little bit easier. All right. Look who's in the house. This is one of our uh regular panelists, Timothy Clay, aka coach to said, peace and love, fellas driving and listening. What I don't understand is why you're not on the screen. I take a moment to pause that while I sip on this tea. Where you at, to? Where you at? I don't I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't understand. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What happened? Why you why you not here? Okay, you you're the second person who's not here tonight. What are we doing out here? What kind of uh operation are we running out here? All right, the compass crime chronicles podcast on the YouTube now. Lost the Facebook link. Hit me up properly, but if you need if you need help with either one of those, I I'm happy to help you, brother. It's no it's no big deal, man. I got you. I just got oh yeah, I forgot about that, man. You chose Tampa over us. I totally forgot about that. Okay, my bad. Glad you got home safe, brother. Love you, man. Be safe in your driving, man. And and time in where you can. Love to hear your insights on some of this stuff, man. All right, so when it comes to the whole mountain thing, I huh. Some folks look at mountains as uh a place of clarity, and I I for some of you, I just love that imagery. I've I've I've climbed a mountain before, not Everest or anything like that, but a mountain uh over here in the east coast, and it was for me, it was a it was it was a huge mountain, it was huge. People who were younger and older and more experienced, buckled and they couldn't finish it. So I was I was among maybe four people who finished it, and I don't know how we did that. We were we were all gassed for sure. Our legs were on fire. I'm not sure we saw multiple ACLs. I don't even know. We were in painting. We got to the top of the mountain, and I don't know when I got up there and looked around. I mean, it was a lot of trouble reading, just a lot of other things that not not beautiful, like you know, look around and see this scenic thing, like uh like some of those uh AI images or whatever. But to me, I was like, it was a it was a point of clarity. I'm like, wow, I accomplished something that I quit five times before I got up here, but I kept on going and and I made it, and I I had some of the clearest thoughts I saw I saw myself in a different light. Like, you know what? Adversity is gonna come, but you know what? You don't have to let it happen. You have to let it become uh a thing that holds you back from accomplishing, even a small goal like that. So I'm figuring if I can do that one, it felt like it was a big goal to me because it was very physically painful. Uh, but at the same time, it's like, you know what? That goal can be handled, possibly the bigger goal, other bigger mountains in our life. So to me, a mountain in that case is kind of like clarity, it's kind of like I think when you guys mentioned it, kind of confronting some things that maybe you've been challenged with in life, and you know what, you know what, I gotta handle this, and I can't run from this anymore. How do you guys feel about the idea of a mountain being uh like a calling or a place where you will confront something? Because I'm I think as men we have mountains that we don't really talk about. What do you think about that?

Challenge To Lead: Alone Or With A Team

SPEAKER_00 10:20

I think the challenge is important, and and uh there's there's a different way to look at that, but if you look at it with pure ego, then you get to the challenge and you start going, but you don't think of anything else. That's like the main thing is getting to the goal, whatever that goal is. If you think of the mountain as a as a challenge to lead, then it's harder because now you have to worry about other things and you have to help others come with you. Right. Um, I just recently went on a not recently, about a year now, went on a hike with a lot of dudes. And the first thought is I gotta show up. Right? I gotta I I gotta I can't be the guy at the end, just like you mentioned. And I gotta get up there. And then as you start get going, if you are paying attention to your surroundings, you start noticing I I kinda have to slow down a little bit. I gotta this guy needs some help. This guy needs some help, right? Um, and it could be anything from picking them up after they fell to carrying their burden, carrying the the backpack they're carrying, or anything like that. And I I see that as either way, it's it's a challenge. It just depends on how you want to finish the challenge, alone or with the team, right? And that that team you guys can put in there with whoever you want in that team, but I think the challenge is important, but it I think the more important is how am I how do I want to finish this challenge? What does that challenge look like to me when I'm done with it?

SPEAKER_02 12:03

I like it. Before you guys jump in, I'm gonna get this comment in from the Compass Chronicles podcast. I look at mountains as the learning experience and also an emotional battle as well. All right, I like that. I like that. Love for you to flesh that out when you get a chance to. I'm gonna hear more from that. Go ahead. DL, Warrior? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Me and Dill are both like so polite. Like, no, no, you. No, no, I'll go. You know, I I think that part of the issue is uh there's too many guys out there who think that having mountains are is a bad thing. You know, uh I look at them, uh I think they're necessary. You know, how do we view mountains being on our path? It's they're absolutely necessary. It's like, why are you getting up in the morning? You know, I mean, well what do you have to do with when with your life? Uh maybe it's because I'm older and I'm an empty nester and everything else. You know, my life used to revolve around the kids. And so it was like my mountains every day, even though they were smaller, was you know, get the kid to practice, get this guy back from practice, you know, be at that practice. I'm coaching over in this team. Now that that's all gone, I mean, I go to bed at night and I have a mountain waiting for me at four o'clock in the morning tomorrow. I can't wait to go climb that thing. I I wake up ready to go. I don't hit my alarm six times, man. I'm like one time if it takes me that. Usually I wake up beforehand and I'm out of the bed going, you know, let's rock. I gotta do this, you know, because I have that mountain there, you know. And I think that guys who want to achieve, guys who have just really just taken it on that I'm gonna go succeed, I'm gonna provide, I'm gonna protect, I'm gonna lead, you know what, man? We need those mountains. So I that's where I'm at in that. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Do you got something?

Reframing Life’s Hard Stuff As The Journey

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Yeah, man. I think it just depends on how we look at the mountain, right? The scripture tells us in this life we'll have troubles of many kinds, right? If we're looking at a mountain as just something to be conquered, versus this is part of the process, this is the journey, this is the adventure, right? Like it changes the entire game of what it really is, right? A mountain can turn into a speed bump, you know, it can just be part of the journey. Um, but that's kind of what I was sitting here thinking about. I'm like, it just depends on how we're looking at it, right? If it's a part of a task list where it's like, okay, I have to conquer this mountain, that mountain, that mountain, that mountain, yeah. By the time you're done, you're gonna hit the whole Cascade range. That's great. But if we look at it as part of the journey, man, then it's for me, I view it all as one big mountain, right? And then kind of like to Stu's point in the comments here, once I'm done scaling that mountain, I'm in the presence of God. So it's all part of the journey. I mean, if even if we look, we spoke about Moses a little bit ago, right? Like, what was he doing at the top of the mountain? He met with God, right? So if we look at it that way and then put life in the in the lens of a mountain and change it into that, then it's no longer it's no longer even a challenge, it's challenge accepted.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

I like it. All right, first of you know, many tough questions. You know how we do on this show, it always happens. If you guys want to be transparent and come out with it, you guys normally do that. I don't have to bid you guys to do that kind of stuff. You do it all the time, really. But had there ever been a time for you guys, and you guys are in the comment section. I want you to hear this and answer this as well, please. Was there ever a time in your life where you had a responsibility that you called a season because you didn't want to own it long term? You had a responsibility that you called it a season because you didn't want to own it long term. That's about you guys who you guys can jump in there as well. I think we all have done that at some point in time. Anyone want to share what that looks like? And you guys are gonna go mute on me.

“Seasons” As Avoidance Of Responsibility

SPEAKER_04 15:52

I'm ready for whatever, but so I'm gonna make sure I understand the question. So we we called it a season. Yeah, thinking we were gonna be done with it because we didn't want to own it. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

You'd be surprised how how how how not rare this is, Rory. This is this is this is really a not rare people do this all the time.

Owning Choices Versus Hiding Behind Seasons

SPEAKER_01 16:15

You know, everybody talks about it. I will I will touch this one first. Go ahead. I have I have all kinds of seasons, brother. Every time there's something that I'm going through that's hard, that's self-inflicted, something that I know that I don't want to take accountability for. Oh, yeah, that's a season. That's a season all day long. I'm this this too shall pass, but I'm not gonna do anything about it. Like I think about my my history, right? Time I spent in prison, that was a season, right? Nah, that was the culmination of my choices. That was part of this entire to me now, today, this is one big season, brother. A bunch of little ones compiling to and culminating into one really big season. But I think for me, when I don't want to own it, that's the perfect lens to look at it from, right? It's like, oh man, I don't want to admit that I screwed up. I don't want to admit that I'm unwilling to move forward, but I need to call it something so I can remove myself from having ownership of it, right? It's a season. I don't make bad choices. This is just a season. This happens, you know, it's raining and uh I don't want to get an umbrella, but I know the sun's gonna come out, hopefully. But yeah, any any any time that I don't want to take ownership of of my choices or didn't, I think today I don't really technically use season unless I'm talking about salt and pepper. Um you know, salt doesn't lose its flavor. That's the only season that I want.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

All right, you know what? You like spicy song? Okay, um I'm keeping going to that. D'io hates spicy food. Okay, got it. Hey, don't don't don't be hearing words I didn't say. Oh, so what I mean, I'm not I can't say that. I need I need to have some spice. But all right, Austin, you want to test this at all? How are you doing?

Preparation Mindset: Real Seasons And Readiness

SPEAKER_00 18:07

Man, it this is a this is a tough question because you really have to dig deep and and look at your decision making, just like DL was saying. That's what I want. The thing the thing that that really comes to mind is how often we don't realize we're making these things a season, and then we miss we miss a bunch to get to that point. And what I mean by that is it's like when you say, you know, when you say, Oh, when they when they get a little older, I'll be able to do this, this, and this, but you didn't do anything prior to that, so you didn't build anything to that. So even though your brain was like, when they get a little older, the season, right? When that season comes, I'll be able to do these things, but you didn't do anything in the in the meantime because you're waiting it out. Maybe it's hard, maybe you know, you got everything going on around you. Like you created a season thinking that the next season will come, but without the work of this season, the next season will not come. And and that's really what for me as as a novice dad, when I when my had my first daughter, I remember that doing those things. I didn't realize that I was making a season or calling it a season, but I'm looking at like this this is hard, like this little kid that wants things and and I have to take care of it, and I have no clue what it wants because all it does is cry. Like that's a season, right? And you think, man, I can't wait till she starts walking because then I can do this. And but how much of this am I missing right now? How much of that am I depriving her right now because I'm waiting for the next season that I've created in my mind? And so that really is what comes to mind. And and I think we do it inadvertently, we just we get into hard spots and we're like, Oh, yeah, when this is over, I'll be good to go. When we do this, I'll be good to go. When I the one that everybody hears, right? When I make more money, then I'll be good to go, yeah, right. And so, but it but again, you're not you're like missing the current season because you're always thinking of a season that's gonna be better, yeah. When you should be doing the work now, so that that season actually becomes to existence.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Yeah, I like it. I like it. Got a few comments coming here, man. From Austin said, Mountains were symbolically a meeting place with God many times in scripture, too. I go to the mountains to get away from noise. So, what is a mountain really? So, you in a season of bad wife for a boy, you keep freezing.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

That's uh that's so y'all know that's that's baby brother right there.

Solitude Versus Isolation: What’s The Difference?

Discipline, Intention, And The Secret Place

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Yeah, you couldn't tell. Yeah, I do that the entire time. Sometimes our own egos make us create seasons we don't want to admit either defeat or giving up control. That's yeah, that's that's weird. That's what I said, Javier. That's what I wanted to give you guys thinking about because that's really what happens. Our egos make it look like, oh, you know what? I'm gonna move past this, or here's here's one for the uh here's one for the faith-filled circles. I'm a I'm a boss a liar that they tell a lot. And I say they I mean sometimes we, but we in the faith and community circles, we tell this lie. We say, Oh, God has had me do this now. Yeah, oh oh I see. So so God is done with this unfinished building, right? So yeah, you do you do you know if you know God at all, you know that's not what He does. He's he's a he's uh a completionist. If that's that's a real word. Look it up and Google it. Is that a real word? Completionist? He's a completionist. Yeah, it is now. You talked about in Luke how how how much of a shame it is to start something you don't finish. Yeah, so he says count the cost up, start a drink, you don't finish it, or start a war you can't finish, or you can't completely fund the war, you open yourself. The shame and guilt and embarrassment. God is telling you, don't do that. You know, He don't think like that. So if He had you start something and a few weeks later, because it got uncomfortable for you, you don't do it anymore. Please don't use God as the reason why you decided to quit or decided to pivot. God had nothing to do with it. All right, so KO's commenting right here. Shit, I had to read it first, Mr. What are we gonna talk about? Okay. So one of our regular panelists said, young lady, I was courting told me she was pregnant. We were both 17. Turned out the child was not mine. Yikes, but during those moments in time, I was scared to death, didn't even know how to take ownership. Wow, you guys want to comment on that? I don't I don't know what to say. That was a season. I know we're okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

You know, I'm gonna um I'm gonna, I'm sorry, Rory, before before you jump in, but I wanted to speak to one more thing as far as seasons. I just as you're talking about that, and you mentioned the faith thing, I'm like, oh yeah. You know, there's other times where I call it a season in the faith community, right? When I'm not sure that God's gonna keep showing me favor. You know, like I I recall recently, um, like a lot of things are going well for me right now, right? And I'm talking to somebody and they're like, oh wow, you know, I see this going on and this going. I said, Yeah, God's got me in a season where you know things are happening. And I'm realizing right now that I say that because I don't, maybe I don't believe that he'll continue. Maybe I don't have the faith that he'll he'll sustain whatever it is that he's beginning, or maybe I just don't have the the drive to continue to steward the work well, right? So um I think it's another end of of that that we can look at that I know personally um just pops in my mind. I'm like, man, yeah, I guess I do. I really do have a lot of seasons, man. Um, and and by calling it that though, that framework, I feel like none of them are ever good reasons to call them seasons, right? It's always trying to escape responsibility, it's always out of fear, it's always out of stress or anxiety. Um yeah.

Selfishly Selfless Solitude And Recharging

Isolation As Hiding; Solitude As Preparation

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Yeah, I want to jump back to Clay's comment because I don't want I don't want to diminish it. I'm not sure I would call this a season, but I would definitely call this what we talked about earlier about a mountain being like a responsibility. I thought about it you know, as uh as a panel. I don't know how many shows it's been that we discussed it because we probably probably in uh month eight right now. We discussed this so many times about uh you know the discomfort of of walking in in your obligations as a man, you know, doing just doing the right thing and being uh a person of honor. And I feel like that's kind of what made probably what Clay was saying was scary him to death because he didn't know how to even handle this, had no experience. Maybe he didn't have anybody to tell him what to do in that scenario. He got hit with the he got hit with that ooh, we is like, oh wow, what do I do now? What what's what's the next step? Is there a book I can read? You know, it's it's it's it's frightening. So I totally get that, man. I think that one of the things that we talk about a lot, and I don't know how we're gonna have ever have a show, we don't talk about it at least once, is the whole isolation piece. Because this and this is something that, and if you guys have not seen it in your circles, because one of the things I asked you guys from the beginning, when you first started this mission, I said the biggest thing for me is what I care about more than anything, is that wherever you live, in your neck of the woods, in your sphere of influence, and you're grabbing three or five guys and you're doing this where you live, you're doing this at in your garage, you're doing this in your man cage slash office, you're doing this in your local coffee shop, you're doing this. So that way, that man's not next week on a bridge or in a dark room with a bottle of pills in his hand. Say, you know what? Nobody listened to me, nobody cares that I'm here. No, so that's that's one of the biggest things. But isolation is the big thing. But I want to talk about isolation versus solitude. I think there's a mountain discussion in here somewhere. If it's not, then we're going off on a tangent. That's what we do. Roll with, but solitude versus isolation. I feel like we have it's it's uh uh it's it's dicey sometimes. Am I with you guys in this book? Are you with me? Yeah, because sometimes we want to have you know what we call independence, or sometimes we want to just avoid or escape stuff, and it's like, okay, solitude should look like that, it should be uh a place uh remember uh uh Superman, the movies, the fortress of solitude. Remember that man read my mind. He said, Fortress of Solitude all day. I should have known you'd be the first one to say that. I love it, I love it. You know what I'm saying? But it's almost like even a better example is all those times in ministry where Jesus would go away to a faraway place. He happened so many times, it's like you gotta catch that there's some kind of symbolism here. This this is a this a pattern or model here because it's happening all the time. He would minister, perform miracles, preach and teach in the temple, and then when you least expect it, he would go away to a faraway place and leave everybody and go and have isolation or solitude. Which one was it? I think it was I think it was solitude because he needs to recharge, get his his focus back, recognize where he was in this space, and and get uh maybe pass some new downloads so that he could be able to function and operate on the level that he was supposed to be functioning and operating on. So for me, I want to ask you guys this question, just real direct you guys in the chat asking the same question. Are you challenged with the whole isolation versus solitude argument yourself personally? Let's get into it a little bit.

Burned Trust, Church Hurt, And Accountability

SPEAKER_04 28:06

Um, I'll I'll jump on that one. Uh personally, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not because you know, I look at that. I am isolated in a lot of ways. Um, because I mean I do all my work from this desk, and almost everything I do is virtual, you know, through calls like this. So, you know, I'll spend the whole day in this room sometimes and not even see the sun. You know, that's not solitude, that's kind of isolation um due to the circumstance, due to the setup, you know, that type of thing. Um, but it isn't what I it's not what I'm I'm striving for, it's not what I'm looking for. Isolation is sort of a byproduct of the way things are going. Solitude is when everything's done, and you know, my wife's asleep, and I'm done making calls for the day, and I get to sit down for a minute on the couch, you know, and just be like, you know, that kind of thing. I can catch up on some calls, I can communicate with my kids. That's solitude. That's there's no more noise. It's my moment to recharge and and and find my peace, you know, type of thing. So for me, I do get to have both, but the isolation isn't necessarily negative, it's just sort of a circumstance.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Let me push a little bit. I believe that solitude and discipline, those examples I just laid out, even the Superman one, there's a discipline element attached to it when Jesus went to a faraway place to pray or went to a high mountain to pray. He did this. That was discipline. What you're doing, I mean, if you guys don't know, Podcast has 10 podcasts. I used to do that without money, without monetization. He has 10 of them. When you're in that room working, is that not discipline?

SPEAKER_04 29:51

Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

Two Are Better Than One: Asking For Help

SPEAKER_02 29:53

I think I think I think this I think the solitude part. Come on. I'm I want to pull it out of you guys. Solitude is not just it's not just being in a place by yourself. Something else has to be happening to make it solitude. You guys want to touch on it and bring it out without me having to tell you what it is and speak for you?

SPEAKER_00 30:10

I think I think it has to do with selflessness and selfishness.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Because solitude for me is putting on a headset and doing a workout, and that's solitude. I'm in my own space, but I'm doing it. I said it before, it's like selflessly selfish. I'm doing it for me because I know it makes me better for them. Right when I wake up early in the morning to just sit and read, that's solitude. I'm not trying to get away from them. I just I know that I need to get my mind right for the day, get my mind right with God, get my mind right with the things that I need to get going before they get up so that I don't take their time. So I'm being I'm being selflessly selfish because I'm taking that in consideration. When you go to solitude, now you're trying to get away from whatever it might be. That's just selfish. Right? So if you're doing something where you are getting solitude for whatever in whichever way people do, climbing the top of the mountain, getting solitude, putting on a headset and writing, getting solitude. In your own head, in your own space, trying to rearrange the thoughts that go through your head or or the worries that might be going through in order to get out of that solitude and then be better for it. There's a difference than if I'm just trying to hide from things and create isolation because I don't want to deal with those things.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

Yeah.

Why Men Get Burned: Lack Of Brotherhood

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Yeah. I think uh I think I agree with everything that was said here in some way, shape, and form. Um and then I agree with that. Can we say solitude is being alone with a with a purpose, perhaps? I agree with that. Um Rory touched on it, intention, right? Yeah, it's like going away with intention when you have the opportunity to be with other people. You have the opportunity to be surrounded, but you choose to go off alone, right? So there's an intention there. Um you know, in prayer, we talk about the secret place. Right? You can have that secret place. That's solitude. You say the fortress of solitude, right? That's a place of refreshing, it's a place of learning, it's a place of sharpening, it's a place where you can get yourself ready, kind of like was just said, right? To be able to maybe pour into people, maybe to, you know, father your children, you know, teach students, whatever it is, solitude, I believe, is that preparation point. You walk away with intention to come back in fellowship, to come back in commune versus isolation. I think for me, I view isolation as going away out of fear, out of shame, out of something like that. You know, it's like solitude is the secret place, isolation is going away because you're hiding from secrets.

Pride, Imposter Syndrome, And Leading Anyway

Avoidance Disguised As Independence

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Okay. So this is Javier's comment right here. I think I think I hear what you're saying, brother. And I think your next comment, I want all of us to kind of speak to that. I'm I'll bring it up in a little bit. I'm not sure when that happened. Sorry about that, guys. Uh when I think about seasons, I I guess being from from New York, it it helped with this perspective because I had four seasons there, as opposed to here in South Carolina where we have like two. Really cold and really, really hot. That's what we have. But uh you know, but in that in that time there, uh, I was conditioned to learn how to prepare. We knew what's gonna happen. We didn't know to what degree, but we knew that fall was coming, that the leaves were gonna fall off of the tree, and that was gonna be the beginning of the interest of winter. It was gonna be really, really cold, storms, nor'easters, blizzards, etc. It was normal. And then we knew that you know after that we see spring, and then we go into a really hot summer, but we had to prepare for it. So I I don't know if if that helps with this comment or not. I mean, I don't know if you guys want to touch it or not, but if not, we'll move on to the next thing. But I just you know, I want to uh kind of put that out there. Got my brother from another mother, he's been he's a spiritual father to many. Good to see you, Apostle. Thanks for being here, sir. All right, here's a comment I want to get you guys to talk about a little bit. He said, I do both, but it's been he by both he means solitude and being isolation. He says it's very hard because he's been burnt so many times, and he's just being transparent about that. Okay, you guys want to speak to Javier in regards to this? This is something he shared as well, so this may help you perspective. But this is a passage of scripture that he shared from Ecclesiastes 4, 9, and 10. So I'll start like what I got while the guys are thinking, brother. Everybody's everybody's been burnt. I I heard it, I heard a perspective today that I know people aren't gonna like. I had no intention of sharing it, but guess what? I'm gonna do I'm gonna share it now. People talk about church hurt as one example, right? Well, here's what happens before church hurt gets here, right? We we we we get saved, right? We commit ourselves to the Lord, and then we start making decisions. Now we get into the marriage, basically, we enter into a marriage with Jesus. And rather than consult him, talk to him about what we you know, what's what's the best uh the best next move, we make decisions. We decide where we're gonna go to church, we decide what ministry we're gonna work in, we decide how often we're gonna show up, we decide what groups we're gonna go to, we decide when we're gonna stay home and not show up, and we don't ever ask our quote unquote husband's opinion, which is Jesus in this scenario. What should I do? We're brand new to this. This is his kingdom, not ours. We've been invited into it, and we are deciding what we're gonna do, and we never ask any questions, we just decide things and we want him to validate it. And then when we get hurt, it's his fault. We're mad at him, we're mad at his people. Never ask him a thing, never ask him for any uh instructions, never ask for a roadmap. We just did stuff and just say, you know what? I'm sure he'd be good with it. Try that with your actual spouse and tell me how that turns out for you. Yeah, you guys can chime in if you have something to share regarding Javi and his comment.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Uh, I just want to say one thing to that man. Uh-uh. I'm not hearing you, brother. What happened to hear me now? You hear me?

SPEAKER_00 37:18

I got you. Try again, Dio.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

I got Dio.

The Garage, The Office, And Intention

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Okay. So we I think I can, I'm not gonna speak for the world, but I'm pretty sure we've all been burnt. I'm pretty sure we've all been disappointed. I'm pretty sure we've all been, you know, experienced some form of betrayal. Um, what I would encourage you, brother, with is if you want to find the line between those things where you're not where it's not hard anymore, I know a person who says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. I know a person who says he is trustworthy, on his written on him is faithful and true. I know a person, man. And and for me, that's that's how I kind of operate with life, man, is I trust people to do one thing, to be people, which means they're gonna be flawed, which means there's a chance they're gonna hurt me, which means there's a chance I'm gonna be betrayed. I trust God for everything else. And and I would encourage you, bro, to do the same, man. Uh it ain't an easy road, but it's worthwhile, man. It's worth it. It's worth it. And and you know, uh, they say we're going when we say we're going through things, it's worth it because when we're going through things, if we don't look at the thing, we see that he's bringing us through it. We're going through it, right? We're not we're not running up against the wall, we're going through it. So uh I would encourage you with that, man. Jump back on the horse, bro. It'll be all right. Just trust God for the rest.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

From his comment, it sounds like he's he's trying to do that right there. So I'd love to hear that comment. All right. You guys want to jump in regarding this? Anything regarding this uh solitude versus isolation uh situation.

Building Brotherhood With Intentional Outreach

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Well, I I saw what um what he put on there where you know two is better than one because you know the other can lift that the the one. There you go. Um, I think it's important again to to differentiate the solitude and the isolation. I think in solitude I can think through what's going on and realize I need to call Rory because I know he's got this one thing and I need some help. Whereas isolation, it's saying I need no one's help, I will figure this out on my own. Uh or this is actually a perfect example. I got burned before, so I'm just doing this. I don't care. Right? And that's there's a difference between that. That's me creating this silo of of solitude, excuse me, of of of isolation and not letting anybody in. And I know that for men, that's a thing, right? Like we're we got it, we've all figured this thing out. Um but man, I mean, if you're grown up at all, like you realize this you ain't you in you ain't doing this world alone. Whether you have a family or friends or whatever, at the end, I have yet to read anybody ever saying, Oh, I wish I had done this by myself. And so isolation is one thing, solitude gives you the the the clear mind to realize when you need the help, who to ask for help. And that is really that solitude is really where you can clear your mind and talk to God and have that one-on-one conversation to be able to figure out the rest. You in in isolation, you're not letting anybody in, including God. You're just not doing that.

Why We Don’t Call: Imposing, Trust, And Fear

SPEAKER_04 41:01

Yeah, if I can jump in one time, you before we leave this topic. Um I just I've enjoyed listening to everybody's stuff and and I love what Javier is doing over there. Um, I know a lot about his situation too. And you know, he has been through a lot. But um, to kind of address all of it, you know, I think we all agree that we everybody has been burned at some point. But when you look at at why we let ourselves get burned, I think that that's kind of part of the bigger conversation. It goes back to what you said, uh, you at the beginning, which was, you know, you want to make sure that we're all out there in our community, building brotherhoods, you know, grabbing a couple of guys, you know, saying, hey, let's all get together. When we don't have that, when we don't have that brotherhood, when we, you know, if when Oscar doesn't have me to call, you know what I mean, when he needs something. That's when we are so desperate for that, that we end up trusting the wrong people. We end up looking past things that we should be able to see. We look past the warning signs and past the red flags because we're just focusing on you know that little bit of good in them because we gotta find somebody. So I think a big key to not getting burned, you know, is not shutting down, it's moving forward and building a brotherhood of guys that you know you can count on that aren't going to burn you, and then you don't need to open up, you know, out of desperation. You can open up out of you know, love and faith, and uh, and they're there for you.

Vulnerability: Never Having “That One Call”

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Yeah, I'm hearing I'm hearing the theme, so I want you to do this for me. I want to uh make this point real quick that I want you guys to speak to that because that's kind of a little head uphead of where we were gonna go, but because we're there, it's it's obviously the right place to go as far as building that brotherhood and being intentional about you know connecting with others because that was gonna be how I want to end this show, but it's it's it's so good right here. But I think one of the things that I think you guys said it though, but that that whole isolation thing to kind of just avoid dealing with stuff. I mean, men put a uh a name on that and call it independence. Like I was talking about somewhere on somebody's show about how the husband or the father hangs out in the garage and works on that project. It's only a project that he can do, so guess what? It makes it simple for him to say, you know what, I need to do this by myself because I'm the only one that understands how to fix this car or to work on this uh motor or whatever. And and it's disguised independence, but it's really avoidance. It's like, you know what, I don't want to deal with maybe it's you know somebody who's negative in a house, maybe it's the kids who are just without any level of discipline or coof, and they're just going nuts in there. And being in a garage working on a project, being independent is a way to avoid it. And I just feel like we got isolation and and and solitude can look alike in in the location. What you guys were saying earlier, I think it's what we do with it, what we do with that space. Because I mean just Closure, and I'm not hiding for my wife, for instance, when she watches it, because she watches all of our shows. So she'll probably talk about it a little bit. But there's been times where this office that I'm in right now was a place of isolation and a place of solitude. Same place. Same wall, same paint, same civilian, same everything. Nothing was different. What they were different was what I brought to the table. There were times where I'm like, you know what? I'm tired of getting burnt out here. I ain't messaging nobody. My phone on vibrate. I mean, it's I mean, it's who might hear, ignoring messages, not responding to people. Saying no to events to get me out there social. I don't want to even be around because big big always be cutthroat. I don't even want to do it. And that all happened in this same place. Now I'm in a place of solitude. I come inside here and I get charged up and get what I need. Me and Daddy in here talking and having a good time. I'm getting poured into and getting filled, and I reach out to you guys and encouraging you guys when you ain't asking for me to do that. That's that's happening from in the same place. You know what I'm saying? So the location has nothing to do with it. It's what we take into it. But let's touch on the other part about that intentional brotherhood, because I I I feel like every show we need to hammer that one home. Because that's something that I'm hearing from men. I'm almost positive you guys hear that from somebody on a regular basis where they struggle with that, where they just don't want to do it, where they won't pick up that phone. Matter of fact, they won't even they won't even go as far as send a text. I mean, it's so easy to send an audio message now and just you know, two-minute, three-minute audio message. So easy, but they won't do that. They won't send it, they won't even send an email. You're definitely not gonna pick up the phone and call. You know what I'm saying? What's that about? How are you guys conquering it? Where are you uh showing intentionality where you are, and what made you do that?

Commitments, Community, And Being The Answer

SPEAKER_00 45:54

Anyone just let me just throw this in here before we get too far ahead because it it leads into this. Copy someone I can't even too tell you who, but it worked. Someone said, and this is not easy, right? This mentality is not easy. But someone said, when you get burnt, you could either let it turn you dark and ashy or light a fire on your ass, right? And that dark and ashy is I think what ends up happening to a lot of dudes. You get burnt, and it doesn't have to be just dudes, right? We we've seen this, right? Uh a guy wants to provide or do XYZ, and maybe the wife is kind of burning them, like they're not they're not connecting well. Uh, friends, family, all these different factors can be there. And turning dark and ashy is is is that feeling of like, nah, I'm good. I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna go reach out, I'm not gonna do these things. One, because I'm a little angry about it, and two, because I don't want to get burned again. Unless you let it light a fire up in your butt and you freaking move, take that light somewhere else and realize that someone else may be getting burnt if you don't show up and help. Right? And and it it brings to mind the the whole saying like if I can, then I should. Right, but you only do that if you use that that fire for the right reason.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

All right, ready to get into this?

Final Push: Weekly Schedule And Next Steps

SPEAKER_04 47:27

I'm ready for this, man. I like that answer. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm ready. You do the uh I mean I've been doing this for for a while with uh Power Man podcast, and uh, I've been coaching men for a long time and veterans, and um now I'm coaching coaches of men, and I hear all the time what Javier just put up there in his comment. And you know, it all a lot of it comes back to that pride thing. No guy wants to wants to go out and and show the world that he doesn't have the brotherhood, the brotherhood already, and because you know, as soon as I'm reaching out, then I look needy. I have man upon man upon man who says something to the effect of, well, I don't attempt to friend somebody on Facebook. I let them send the friend request to me because I don't want to look needy, you know what I mean? There's been a war on men for years now, and you know, you too much like a man, and you all of a sudden you get you know absolutely beat down. Not enough of a man, and then you get beat down the other way, and your woman goes finds somebody who wants to be a man. There's a million things that happen to us because there's no clear direction of went DL's like you know I'm right, right? I mean, there's no clear directions on how to be a man anymore, and so we're all trying to figure this thing out. When it comes to brotherhood, we're told don't go hang out with your buddies because you're supposed to be with your family. Then we're told, hey, if you don't have buddies, you're gonna end up having you know mental health issues, right? There is no answer. So the bottom line is that what we can do as men who are having these conversations, as men who are actually coming together to discuss these things, is we can lead. And the way out of this for as many men as possible is to get as many men as possible to lead the way. If I come down and I say, hey guys, come join me, and I do it for more than one, and I get five, I get 10, I get 20. Now I've brought them all in. They didn't have to, you know, give up their pride. They can say, Hey, Rory reached out to me, it wasn't the other way around. Now we're building, now they're in a safe space, now they can talk, now it works, you know. And I think that that's just really important. I think the way around that for all of us is if you're gonna be a men's leader in some way, if you're gonna have a podcast, if you're gonna have a show, if you're gonna, you know, run a group, then be a men's leader. You know, I mean, step up, strap on your boots, and go out there and lead men. And you know what? Take the bullet for them, invite them. So, anyway, I'm off my soapbox now. You guys go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Fantastic job. I love it. Oscar, do you have thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 50:07

Yeah, man. Uh I resonate. I mean, you know, low life, you know what it's all about. It's the war on pride, bro. And pride is is is the biggest obstacle when it comes to brotherhood, when it comes to community. I mean, there's so many different layers to it. Rory touched on some of it, right? The others are I don't want to look weak. I don't want my secrets exposed. I don't know if I can trust these people. I mean, you name it, there's an excuse all stemming from pride. I think about intentional, right? Uh the book of Exodus talks about the building of the temple, right? Very specific instructions, very specific materials, right? Above and beyond that, though, it was every person bringing their best, whatever that was, right? Whatever that was, whether it was just a little bit of time, like you know, Oscar, Rory, you, you guys might have a little bit of time or some really wise words, or you might have unlimited resources, whatever that is, bring that to the table with intention of building community, right? Like without the fear of any baggage. I mean, I think I think we have to if Alpha Melcraft, sorry. I think we have to, yeah, there it is. I saw that on the side. I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know, and then and then there's the idea that we have to have it figured out before we go and figure it out. You know, like like we are all on this journey to figure it out, but for whatever reason, we believe this lie that before we can step into building something, we have to have it already built. Like we are just pieces of the puzzle, right? We are one body of people, just many different parts, but one body of people serving towards the same goal. And it's like, I don't know, I I get, I get it. Uh once upon a time, I was an isolationist because I had so many skeletons in my closet, I didn't want nobody knowing none of that. Like, no, no, that that sounds good. I'm gonna go and hang out, but they might find out that I'm not so good of a person. I gotta make sure, you know, I gotta make sure that I'm good before I go and be good. And it's like, I always use this terminology when it comes to like people that are getting ready to go to church, but they're not quite ready yet, right? And I ask them, I'm like, do you take a shower before you go and take a shower? Like, like the the key to it is just jumping in. Like I think all of us have to just put that pride down, stomp it on its head a couple times, you know, and then be on our merry humble ways.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

I love it, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

Imposition is real, brother. That's what it is, right? Because you feel it. You're like, I'm not worthy to talk about XYZ because I'm still I'm still in it. So that's just it is what it is. I mean, I I'm guilty of it 100%, especially in the podcast zone. Like, I'm like, I'm talking to people, and then people ask me questions. I'm like, ah, bro, I don't know if I should answer that. Like, and it's but it but in reality, and you know, coming from a military background, the only way to learn is to do. Right? You we don't we don't train by by theory, like we we learn and then we do and jack it up and then learn some more and then do again. Um, and it's hard to translate that to this realm where you're like, you know, again, as an example, I'm a I'm a dude trying to learn how to be a dad. Like, I don't know anything. The biggest thing I got going for me is I realize I don't know anything, and I've made I'm able to contact people so that I can learn how to do these things, right? Um, but in that process, I have learned a lot, and I have been able to paint that imposter syndrome a little bit different color because it's still there, but it's just a little bit different color, right? I mean, you get to Rory's stage, and you know, he he's he's not an imposter, he's all out there. 10 podcasts and throwing it all, and and you're like, dude, that's all yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

I mean, the guy the guy the runs off, man. I mean, he got 10 podcasts, been coaching men, got all these clients and whatnot. I mean, the the I won't say why he won't just teach us how to do all this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 54:28

I mean, he just I'm waiting. But I mean, again, it's just that imposter syndrome, and we all have it. It doesn't matter what you're doing, it could be parenting, it could be you know, talking about the gospel, it could be all these different things, and you're like, I'm not this is not I'm not good enough to do that yet. Um, but I think that's what community and what what Mr. U here is doing is is creating this so that we can then branch out, grab more, right? And realize that even if they don't ask for help, even if we don't ask for help, I'm gonna listen in and I'm gonna get the help, even if I didn't ask for it, it's there. And I can reach in, save my pride if that's the if that's the reason. I'm not saying that's the right reason, but if that's the reason, save your pride. Go into the community, listen. Someone's done it, someone screwed it up, someone's fixed it. Let me grab that, put it in my pocket. I mean just let me jump back in real quick.

SPEAKER_04 55:27

Go for it. If I may, we're real fast, just because you know, I don't normally get to do that. But you know, um, one more thing I want to add is just uh we're all talking about pride in a lot of ways. We're talking about imposter syndrome, pride, and that type of thing. Um, we would all like to be able to, you know, tell guys, hey, you got to put your pride down. I mean, all of us, right? But then I bet none of us are really willing to put that down wholeheartedly across our lives. In some instances, I think these guys here, we've all kind of learned how to do that, you know, here or there. But by and large, I mean, I've gotten to know you guys on this panel pretty well. Uh, I'm pretty sure that all of you have some pride. You know, I know I do. I'm sorry. But one thing that I've tried to do in terms of trying to get guys to get past the pride instead of like put it down is to that's when you start disciple. That's when you start your discipleship, and that's when you start to introduce the idea that, hey guys, what's really important here is that as prideful as you might feel and as you are, there's somebody else that you have to kneel in front of. And when you can get men to kneel in front of, you know, God, in front of Jesus, uh, when they can recognize the Holy Spirit, that's really important for a lot of guys. When you can do that once, then you can start to move put that into your life, and you can realize, hey, it's not that I'm putting down my pride, it's that I'm just acknowledging that at this moment I need to not be prideful. You know, that that's a fine line and it takes some doing, but it's a it's an angle in to you know working with men that doesn't just simply confront you know who we are as men. You know, we can't just say don't have pride. None of us are gonna listen to that. Uh I'd be like, get out of my way. So, but I think that's that's an important component, you know, as we lead. I'm all about leading, I'm all about stepping to the front, and we need more men stepping to the front. It's why I started coaching leaders of men instead of just men. You know, it's like I added that to what I'm doing. We need more leaders, we need more men stepping up if you can do that. You know, if you can walk hand in hand with Christ in this mission and say, hey, Lord, I need your help to show these men that they don't have to not have pride, they have to not be prideful. I think that's kind of a big distinction. I think you can help.

SPEAKER_02 57:41

Absolutely. I definitely agree with this assessment. Amazing Cooper Sweets, one of our friends and panelists, BDs in the house. It's important to separate being proud of something or someone and being prideful. Oh, you betcha. Betcha. So I believe we discussed this a while back, but by a show of hands, how many of you have one guy that you can reach out to? No restrictions on time. Doesn't matter how bad your situation is. You got one person. I don't mean your dad now. I don't even mean one of your brothers. I'm talking about one person you can reach out to just by a show of hands. You have one. All right. Now, I don't think my screen froze, so I saw what I saw. So I want I want to speak to that real quick. That's how we're gonna end the show today. Let you guys talk and kind of share your thoughts on why you responded the way you did. But I kind of feel like, you know, uh I what my hope is that what I said before with the vision of this was that you know, you guys in your circle of influence, wherever you live, wherever you are, you have that ability to uh impact somebody's life, who, like I said, could be in that in that danger zone. And you and you just can't see it. I mean, turn a news on any given night, he's somebody who's in the zone and it and he decided to make a uh a permanent decision based on a temporary situation, and now they're all over the news and whatever, and their whole names on the news, and their families are like a pipe bomb to their family just because of one decision. So we have spoken to that person. Did we have an opportunity to catch that person before it happened? Somebody did. So that's a big part of why we're doing this. But another part is what I believe is a powerful brotherhood that we have the ability to form with this. That's I've been talking about it since the very start. What was it? Last last June, last July that we started this. So yeah, so yeah, I'm not getting on you guys. I'm like, hey man, what's your problem? It ain't it ain't nothing for you to pick the phone up and say, hey man, it's not why are we not doing that? Just generally speaking, I don't mean anybody here in this room. Generally speaking, why we have why why why can't we do that? What's the problem with that?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:08

I think one reason can be we feel as though we don't want to impose. You know, even if an offer is laid out, um, sometimes it's like I don't want to bother them. You know, uh I can say that I'm guilty of that I have a person that I've offered that to, and then I've had that, hey, anytime you know you're going through things, call me, right? And one time, and I it haunts me right now as I think about it. One time I looked at my phone and I was like, you know, I told him this, but this is an inconvenience for me right now. And then I didn't pick it up, you know. And I think on the other end of it, like when I've wanted to reach out to people, right? It's it's that same reason. Like I don't I don't want to inconvenience this person. Like, I just don't. I I they've got something better to do than to deal with my problems. I'll just figure it out. I'll just do it myself. I'll rub some dirt on it and walk it off, you know. And obviously that's not the way to go. Um, but I think it goes back to the point of of being burnt, right? It's also knowing that you can trust these people to guide you, knowing that you can trust whoever it is to pick up, knowing that you can trust whoever it is to hold on to your secrets or your struggles or your weaknesses uh without hurting you. Brent, all right. Okay, Brent. Didn't even on the panel when he's starting stuff. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:39

Right. I know if you want to go, man. I'll I'll go last, man. You go ahead. Go ahead, Austin.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

It's it's pride. I mean, you're looking at when I look at part. When I look at it for myself, look for myself, I'm I'm just like DL. You know, I want to be that for other people. I want I I'm I want to be that for the people, and you know, in the veteran community, we have we have a big problem, right, with that. And uh it's it's a big problem, and um I want to be that, and I try to reach out to people to check on them. But it's a lot of times I think in that process we forget ourselves, right? Um, you because you don't want it almost feels selfish to do that, so then it doesn't feel like I want to go do that. I want to be that for someone else. Right? Pick up the phone, hey man, how you doing? Send a text, every everything's good, cool, move on with my life. And then I've it's so it's so interesting that it's full circle and I see what he's doing now, but it's all full circle, right? Because now I'm like, I can think back now that I did have I did have someone, but no longer. So that to me, it's it's me trying to take take that that that being burnt and make it into a fire to move forward and light other people, but at the same time keeping myself from from then having that reach out for myself. Does that make sense? It's like I think it does.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

I think it does, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:21

Yeah, right. So I I I don't want someone else to have that, and I want to be here, and I want to be able to pick up the phone if someone calls me and they're in trouble, and I, you know, um, because it's happened before where I didn't pick up the phone, and you know, we we saw a consequence of that. So that's what I want to do, right? And so I think we forget ourselves because we want to do that, and then it feels selfish to do it for ourselves because maybe that person is going through some some something worse. I always grew up that way. My my pops was like, it's always some something is always worse than what you think you have, and that's true in very many things, right? We have I I like to call them first world problems sometimes, right? Wi-Fi is out or whatever, like it's we have first world problems. Um but I get I think because of that mentality, you start to forget that you also need some of that out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:30

Yes, sir. All right, thank you, Oscar.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:34

All right, I said I was gonna go last. So um, you know, when I joined this panel, I I decided I was gonna come on here and be honest and authentic and open, no matter how you know awful it looked. And uh, I mean I've gotten a little blowback, you know, on uh some things at times, but uh it's uh I don't come on here unless I'm ready to kind of give you the the real stuff, brother. So um I've never had that. I didn't raise my hand because I never had it. Uh since the moment I was born, I never had it. Uh when I was five years old, I waited for my dad to get drunk enough to go intentionally piss him off so he would beat me and not my mom. So I've never counted anybody else. Okay, it took me a long time to realize that I could do that with God, and that's part of my faith journey, which is a very long story, which I won't bore everybody with right now. But in terms of earthly folks, I've never done that. And I've also always believed that if you really want to find your true path in life, look at what you really needed at your lowest point and you didn't have, and become that. And that's why I do what I do, and that's why I started Power Man Podcast. That's why I continue to do it. I did it when there was no monetization in sight. I did it when it was, you know, a just uh a labor of love and making sure I was there for everybody else who might need it. I view my job to be there for my family with nothing in return, to be there for my kids with nothing in return, and to be there for every man who will put his hand out that needs it. With nothing in return because I didn't have it. And so every time I get to be that for somebody, to me, that makes up for not having it. That's why I didn't raise my hand.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:13

Okay. Back in the day, this is ever since the 70s. When a TV show came on that I liked, I don't care what night ride, whatever it was. At the end of that show, if it said the three words to be continued, I was pretty much apoplectic. I waited a whole week to see the end of the story or how it ends. It's horrible. Even to this day, I think it's still horrible. It's ugly. So we can't do the show like this. I don't want to end on it to be continued. So I'm asking questions. I want everybody involved in this. But I gotta walk over something that made me feel good about what we did today.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:52

I'm sorry, man. You won't off the ball. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:56

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not anybody's fault, but it's kind of have you guys watch Big Bang Theory? You ever watched it before? Ain't anybody fan? You seen that episode where Amy tried to get Sheldon to not finish stuff? Like with the dominoes and the uh jack in the box and wouldn't let just to make it disperson kick in. That's what's gonna happen here if I don't if I don't I can I can't go to the end of this and not have some kind of there. We're gonna stop it. I I can't let that happen. So so help me out with this. I want to answer this question because I may have asked before, but I think we in and we're in a new year, new perspective. What are we committed to doing to fix that? Because I'm hearing about the things and everything that we heard about that I believe I heard stems from past things wounds that maybe have not been healed yet. That's that's what I'm hearing in my in my spiritual deliverance ministry pastoral ears. That's what that's what I hear. So tell me what we can do. What are we better question? What are we committed to doing? Everybody's in the comment section. You guys here on the panel. What are we committed to doing to fix that? What can we do today to fix that? What can we commit to doing to fix that? Because we can't walk out of here and say, you know what, I never had that, and I and tomorrow I ain't gonna have it either. Come on, man. We we we could do this. This that's what this this podcast is all about. This that's what it's about. That's why we started one of the reasons why we started this. We can't I can't let y'all go out like that. So, what can we do? Talk back to me as quick as you can. Come on, let's go. What can we do?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:39

All right, I'll go so they can finish on a good note. All right, for me, it's C and the infilling. You too, brother. That's it. C and the infilony, you know. I mean, if you don't have it for yourself, then you do everything you can to be that for somebody else. Now they can go and make everybody smile on the way out.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:57

But you have it for yourself. You got you got options. Come on, who else? You have options, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:05

I'm gonna throw this out there, man. There's one option right there. I'm gonna throw this out there, man, and then I hope I don't uh I don't fail in this one. 916-857-5770. Oh my gosh. But I mean, at the end of the day, you know, that's what it is, right? Like Rory spoke to it, man. My entire function, the way that I move in life these days is I want to be the answer to the prayers that I used to have that I didn't feel like were answered in a way that I wanted them answered, right? I wanted there to be a specific person to answer the phone at a specific time or respond to a text message. By the way, if you if you took that number down, I prefer text messaging. Give me a little bit of time for that. But at the end of the day, that's what it is, man. I'm I'm always gonna be committed to that because I've seen a lot of that in my life. I've seen a lot of things answered from prayers. I'm living out answered prayer right now, and so I just want to be that. I'm committed to being that. The the an answer to somebody's prayer that I once had that I didn't get answered.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:20

All right, I'm still waiting for the answer, but go ahead, Oscar. You can go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:24

Community.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:25

I think I haven't heard the answer yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:29

That's that's the answer, I think. It's community.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:32

No, my question is, what are you committed to doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:35

I'm committed to continuing to grow a community of not just men, but information and availability for people to be able to find the answers that they need without having to subdue their ego if they don't want. To have that answer out there, to have the perspective that maybe they're not getting somewhere else. And uh I say that because I think I had to talk to Rory. I was about to stop the whole thing that I'm doing with the daughter podcast. I was going to stop it, I believe it was January 7th or whatever when we when we got to talk. And uh and that's that was the commitment. It's like, nope, we're doing this because the feedback is there, there people are are getting benefit from it. And as I mentioned earlier, if I can, then I should. Then I must. So we'll continue to do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:37

100%, man. You cannot quit that podcast. And DL, thank you, brother. Absolutely, 100%. You I don't know what to tell you, man. I want to give you a happy ending. I love you. This is why we do what we do, this is why we're all dedicated to doing what we do, man. You know, I mean, seriously. I think at the top of every of every food chain, there's somebody who's willing to give before they get. And I think that's that's where we all are. That's where you are, even though you're trying to be all holistic about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:08

Oh man, I love you guys, man.

unknown 1:12:13

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

I think he wants the answer to be Rory is gonna monetize his podcast. I think that's what he wants the answer.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

We already know that that wasn't that was the that was the question that wasn't even the answer. It's already this it's the question any answer. He's already doing it. He's gonna show us how to do it. That's that's the only one that's that's that's the only thing that's different, but we already know he's he's doing over there. I want to make sure that you guys are good, man, because I don't play around with that kind of stuff, man. I see stuff, man, out here. I see stuff all the time. Like I I want you guys to walk out of here just be you know people say they're all right all the time, and then guess what? They they would in in seven to hours, they're a cautionary tale. I just don't want that, man. But you know, I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna leave it there. Y'all probably gonna text me and stuff, and I'm good. I'm I'm gonna answer it and stuff back. But I I ain't I ain't I ain't feeling great about the the lack of commitment. I'm texting you now. I ain't feeling great about you guys gotta commit to this, man, and and do this. You guys got people, man. You got somebody, even in the somewhere in this in this men's round table series podcast family. Somebody they could trust with your stuff, and they ain't gonna run you all down on social media. You can't say you don't have anybody, so I don't understand that, but that's okay. I'm gonna read his last comment, then I'm hitting outro music. Our guy Brent says, Can you listen to this group? This is my playlist as a men's coach. I love it. It's my playlist right here on the screen. Thank you, sir. I need I need I need more help on Apple Podcast, so I thank you, man. Thank you so much, man. But you guys have been fantastic, man. Thank you for watching and listening to the men's roundtable series podcast starting in March next week. Every Thursday. I'm so excited, man. That means more content, more stuff. I'm hoping more collaborations, more uh interpodcast connectivity that we got going on here. Start sharing stuff, YouTube, Apple Podcasts. Let's blow this, let's let's blow this mission up, man. I'm excited for you guys, man. Excited for the work and definitely excited about what the first comment coming through, more comments coming through. Thank you guys. Thank you. This is this is awesome. Appreciate you guys. All right, we're out of here for real this time. God bless.