MB:299 with Juan Cias

Juan Cias is a standup comedian and mortician. You can find his stuff here https://www.instagram.com/juan_cias/

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"King without a Throne" is performed by Bad Hombres

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:18

No, your uh drink when you brought it up with the reflection of your light behind you, it looked like jamaica. And I was like, is he drinking agua fresca? But then I looked and it's brown.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

So I'm using a straw today. What's up?

SPEAKER_03 0:33

What's up?

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another podcast episode of The Mind Buzz. We are back. It's been a couple of weeks. It's been two weeks, right?

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Uh I don't know. I don't know what timeline I live in.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Time is irrelevant in my life right now.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Time is uh non-existent to Amber.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

It is.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

What's up?

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Not too much.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Just living my life. It's what?

SPEAKER_00 1:03

I said just living my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Just living my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Living my best life.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Um what's up, ladies and gentlemen?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Um say what's up, lesbian. I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Well, considering our uh listeners.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, maybe there is. Yeah, we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

I mean, we love you. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

We love everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Whatever, uh I mean, uh, I look like one. Um, so it's all good. How are you doing, Amber?

SPEAKER_00 1:29

I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

My summer is going great.

SPEAKER_08 1:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Yeah. It just started getting a little hot in the house, but we got a little AC going action. But other than that, it's been going good.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Uh how's your summer? It's going good. Uh we we went camping last week, a couple of weeks ago. Uh that was fun. Took a c couple of days off of work. It was awesome. Had some fun with the family.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

We've been going to Disneyland at least once a week.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

We've been going to Disneyland at least once a week. Uh that's fun.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Yeah, it is fun actually.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Actually, the last time we went was pretty magical. I I'm out of the six. Out of the six times that we've been so far already, uh that the last time was like, okay, this is this is it. This is this is a good place. Took me six times. 12 car rides from Paramount to Anaheim. Six times looking for parking.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

To justify uh getting a pass?

SPEAKER_02 2:40

A dozen times walking back and forth around that five-acre park. No, I don't know if it's five acres or not.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Dom, every time we go, you do at least like a minimum of 7,000 steps. And we're not even there all day. It's yeah. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Honestly, out of out of this whole thing of of your addiction to Disneyland right now, that's probably the best like positive outlook that I can look at at your addiction to Disneyland right now is that I get to to put some exercise in and uh I mean of yeah, I'm eating a a couple of you know, churros and and uh cookies on the way out, but it's it's fine. It it balances out.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

You're balancing out because you could be eating the churros and then not exercising, but you're eating and you're exercising.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

10-4 on that.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

And you're seeing me happy. Yeah, that's that's my justification for you.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

That's number one. Uh we've seen the Odyssey uh uh a couple days ago. Uh what'd you think?

SPEAKER_03 3:49

What day is it today? Today oh yeah, whenever this comes out. You're right, a couple days ago. Um, it was good. I really enjoyed it. I um have a really bad habit of Googling while a movie is going on because I was locked in the whole time, so I was I wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

I mean, I'm not Googling something that's like I have to Google like but usually I get kind of like irritated when you start pulling out your phone during a movie, and this time I I didn't even notice you take out your your phone.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Yeah, because it was under the sweater.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Was it? You're hiding it from me.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Well, no, because I I'm at the theater. When I'm at the theater, I don't want the light to show.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Um, I'm not uh that rude of a person. I'm not rude at all, but I'm saying I'm not that rude.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

I'm rude, but I'm not that rude.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

No, I was gonna say, like, I'm not that rude person. You don't like that.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Look, I'm rude, but I'm not. You know, taking the phone out.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

I like to um yeah, I just always like to look at like characters. Um if I have a question, I'm like, okay, let me look at this and that. Like I'm just I I like to overly saturate my mind with uh look, I can't remember Greek mythology to save my life.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I I learned it maybe twice because I had to take the whatever class you learn it in high school. I took it twice and I still don't understand Greek mythology. I really don't. Or the or the stories. I don't remember it. And I was confused the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

It was like a three-hour movie, and I didn't get until like I think you were probably confused because you wanted to do that, like you wanted to be like, oh, let me try to remember to understand it, but I honestly don't think that you had to even understand it before to get the movie.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

But I'm like you. I want to know the story. I want to know the backstory. And if I don't know the back, then I was like, why does she have powers? Why is she turning them into pigs? Why is this? Why that? Like, what's going on? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Yeah. And the and I did remember a lot of things once I was watching, I was like, oh. And then I would whisper to you, and you were like, I I don't know. I'm like, okay, never mind. Like I go to two shit. Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_10 6:01

I gotta go do shit. That's why you went to go do, homie. It's a three-hour movie, dude. It's a three-hour movie.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

The movie is two hours and fifty-five minutes. That's insane.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah. Um, well, uh it was good. Yeah, I'm glad we were able to watch it. I we just watched it like a at a regular theater, uh, not this what is it, 17 millimeter or 77?

SPEAKER_03 6:22

77 millimeter IMAX. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Maybe when there's nobody in the theater, catch me at one of those, but we didn't we didn't do that. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Had to get off that that off my chest. Get that off your chest, guys. Um let's bring in today's guest. I'm very excited uh to talk to our guest. He's returning. He is probably he's like one of my favorite comedians of all time. Uh very funny dude, uh, very insightful, very intelligent, uh, really good looking man. He's got a new haircut. Uh please give it up for San Emedian Juan C's, ladies and gentlemen. Juan Cas. How's it going?

SPEAKER_05 7:06

How's it going? What's up, man?

SPEAKER_03 7:07

You did cut your hair, huh?

SPEAKER_05 7:08

I did cut my hair.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Last time you were here, you had long hair?

SPEAKER_05 7:10

I had very long hair. Now I cut it all down back to yeah, back to square one. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big some big life changes, man. Yeah. You have, dude. You have. How are you feeling, man? I'm feeling great. Yeah? Yeah, I'm feeling feeling much better versus the last, like the last, the last podcast. I didn't realize how bad I felt until like, yeah, until now. I'm like, oh my God. Jesus. Can you share a little bit about uh so yeah, I had open heart surgery uh back in October. It was like two days after my 40th birthday. I went to the emergency room and uh they told me, yeah, you need to have open heart surgery. It was really bad. I had a congestive heart failure. Uh and when they went to go, because I guess they they knew my aorta wasn't like well, so they're gonna go change that out. But when they went to go change it out, uh they found that I actually had an aortic dissection. So my my my aorta had split open and was leaking blood into and back into my pericardial sac. And like a few people have passed away from that recently, and uh like uh Senator Lindsey Graham, I guess that they're saying that they're saying it wasn't Russia, that it was it was aortic dissection.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Oh, it was that dude, the war guy.

SPEAKER_05 8:16

Uh yeah that just got back from uh from uh from Ukraine, I think. Yeah. Yeah. So he just passed away from that, and then yeah, some other people, like high high profile people passed away. And apparently if you had like when it happens, you have like 48 hours to kind of get surgery and like you have a 50% chance. I went four months like not knowing. Oh my god. Yeah, it was it was it was crazy, it was pretty bad.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

That is what so it was that for that guy, because I've heard so many different stuff that I guess he the I heard one that he was visiting like a site in the Ukraine and they bombed the site or something.

SPEAKER_05 8:54

I heard that one too, yeah. Yeah, I've heard all the different rumors. I heard yeah, the gay butt sex stuff.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

I didn't hear that one.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

I didn't hear that one. You didn't hear the okay, well, yeah. Breaking news.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Tell us, breaking news.

SPEAKER_05 9:07

Yeah, what the the well just the one thing I read about his uh his ladybugs. I don't know if you heard him. He he's he's known as the ladybug, like in in the uh in the gay community. You didn't read the bat part, okay. Uh no, I have this is the first time I'm you probably yeah, it's probably better. Because all the NDAs are like, or like now that he passed away, everyone can come out with their information and stuff. Like they had to sign him off, like saying he can't talk about it, but now that he's dead, those are all expired, nothing void. Uh so there's one guy who came out and says, like, I guess one day, because Lindsey Graham was uh was gay and like very closeted. Uh but one of the guys he had tried hooked up with, I guess like Lindsay was bent over the bed, and the guy like noticed his butthole looked like really nasty, and so he's just like, Do you mind if I clean it off? He's like, No, it's clean. So he's like, I'm gonna clean it off anyways. And he went to clean it off. He's like, Oh, don't mind my ladybugs. And there's I guess he just has a bunch of moles throughout his entire anus and like his tete area. Oh my god. Yeah, I want you. Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

So he calls on his ladybugs?

SPEAKER_05 10:09

This is ladybugs, those are his ladybugs. That's a beautiful man.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

I feel like like I believe the him being gay. Oh, for sure. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

The most like Can you pull up a picture of him? Um I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

The most closeted, hateful like men are like normally like raging homosexuality. Raging, like on the down low.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

That's uh Amber's uh uh not conspiracy, but that's that's my hot take. That's her hot take.

SPEAKER_05 10:36

That's the hot take there. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

Yeah. Wait, wait, do you want me to his butthole? Lindsay Graham.

SPEAKER_07 10:41

Look at his ladybugs. Yeah, can you pull that up?

SPEAKER_03 10:44

I don't I do not.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

I couldn't live my whole life without seeing Lindsay Graham's butthole.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

I can imagine somebody trying to pull up uh Ladybug's uh uh Ronnie Danger film movie, and butthole comes up.

SPEAKER_05 10:57

I think I saw that somebody did like a photoshop of that. Did they really? Yeah, it was him like on the cover, ladybugs.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

That's awesome. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_05 11:04

That terrible human being.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Jesus. He kind of looks a little bit like Jimmy Carter. Just a tad.

SPEAKER_05 11:12

Yeah, I can I can see it.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

I don't even know. How do you know what Jimmy Carter looks like? Like how how does that stay in your brain?

SPEAKER_05 11:20

JC. We're patriots. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Because gay too? No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_05 11:26

Jimmy Carter can't be. Nah. He loved nuts though. He did love nuts at that peanut farm. Isn't that Carver? Huh?

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Jimmy Carter uh Carver was a peanut?

SPEAKER_05 11:36

No, uh who were we talking about again? Yeah, that president. That the yeah, Carter.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Carver?

SPEAKER_05 11:41

Is he at a peanut guy? Or no, wait, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

No, it's uh Carver. Carver. No?

SPEAKER_05 11:46

No. Yeah, now I'm all confused.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Yeah, uh, let me see, let me see, because now I'm confused.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Okay, but pull up different tabs.

SPEAKER_05 11:53

Jimmy Carver, the one on the top right hand side.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Oh yeah, peanut.

SPEAKER_05 11:56

You did have a peanut farm? Peanut farm.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

We love the nuts.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

So I think Jimmy Carver is he's a black man, right?

SPEAKER_05 12:04

George Washington Carver.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

It's George it's George Washington Carver.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

What school did I go to? I'm not a patriot. You know.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

That's funny. Oh, so you did have a peanut farm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:16

And this guy was awesome. He had to give it up for his presidency because he didn't want conflict of interests. It's crazy how far we've come, dude.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 12:24

Are you serious? Yeah, he gave it up.

SPEAKER_07 12:26

I but I've seen up his news.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

And then this guy just freaking God, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

We don't talk about that guy.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

We don't talk about him. See, that's what I'm saying. Like he The unmentionable. Right. Right. But he's just from what I've read and from what I've seen in like pop culture, they like show him as like a very nice, uh, nice president. Very uh he was a carpenter, also. Yeah. The peanut guy? Yeah, Jimmy Carter.

SPEAKER_05 12:56

He did the houses.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah. J JC is what what they call him. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

So you you didn't pick up on Greek mythology, but you know about a president.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

So Jimmy Carter, yeah. Okay. It's because I learned it on uh King of the Hill. They did an episode with Oh, are you serious?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:15

Yeah, a lot of my factual stuff comes from like old episodes of the Simpsons.

SPEAKER_07 13:18

Seriously.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Like uh George Bush. Uh well George Bush Senior is Herbert Walker Bush. Yeah. He he's he's uh in the world.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

I wonder what the what the school curriculum are like now.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

I yeah, God bless him. I don't know. I wonder if they teach all of that. Go back.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Let's go back and like Billy Madison's status and like um well we were talking about the other day, because have you watched the movie The Odyssey?

SPEAKER_05 13:48

Oh I loved it. Yeah, so we saw it twice. I saw it in regular and then in IMAX. Yeah, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Yeah, Joanne was saying that her husband watched it three times already. One of my my mom's my mom's my sister's.

SPEAKER_05 13:58

I'm probably gonna go back and watch it again. It was really good. I'd like to.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

So what what we were talking about because he was he was telling me about school, and I was like, Yeah, I remember it because I really I really enjoyed like learning about it and you know, all the like like you know, all the gods and everything. Very independent. But I was what we were talking about was like I wonder why they taught that in school. Like what what what was the like the parallel between like l like why do we have to learn Greek mythology, right?

SPEAKER_05 14:28

Yeah, it is a good point. Like how does it it doesn't really I mean does it affect us? I don't know, maybe some sort of way.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Well we were talking about the the lessons, like the the the double meaning in in the lessons and the stories. And uh I brought up the point where it it does talk about choice, uh uh the choices you make, uh consequences in the choices you make, greed.

SPEAKER_05 14:54

Um consequences like getting stuck on an island with a beautiful woman and pretend for seven years. Such a consequence, bro. I feel bad for him. Leadership, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:05

That's what we were thinking, right? Of what what it could be.

SPEAKER_05 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

But then I think as like a teenager, I wasn't thinking that.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

Yeah, no, you didn't you know, oh, it's whatever, just reading the book, you know?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

It's required without the reason why I said at the beginning of the podcast was my second time learning that because the first time I when do you when do you when do you read that stuff? Uh freshman software.

SPEAKER_05 15:27

I want to say it was like late middle school, I think. Yeah, yeah is it in middle school? I want to say it was middle school or like or yeah, maybe freshman.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

I want to say like freshman.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

So I was telling Amber that I took a a night school for so to pick up some make some credits up. Yeah. In my junior, it was in my junior year? Yeah, my junior year, I did a night school, and that was part of like the curriculum of going back was doing the Greek mythology stuff, and I was so I had I I was confused. I'd I think because I even mentioned that on the podcast too when I used to read back then, I I just couldn't comprehend what I was reading.

SPEAKER_05 16:10

Like I would read and vocabulary back then was yeah, things would go in and out of my ear, like I couldn't. No, I'm I'm I'm the same. I had to constantly like find myself rereading a p a page over back. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 16:21

Yeah, my mind wanders often, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

No, seriously, mine does too. Like I I remember I read I read because I I was copying somebody's book report on animal animal form, yeah. And they let me borrow their book report, and I was reading it, and I was like, whoa, this this is a fascinating.

SPEAKER_05 16:43

I give a report an A for sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I was like, dude, this is a really good book. I don't even remember reading, but I guess the way that they're describing the book made more sense to me than actual reading the actual book. I think that's why YouTube essay videos on YouTube right now are are so awesome.

SPEAKER_05 17:05

Yeah, okay. I'm not familiar with the essay.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Like, they're just different formats on like when when you look up different things on YouTube, they're mostly like if you Google search something on YouTube, they're mostly like essay format. Okay. Talking about like a subject.

SPEAKER_05 17:20

Yeah, I definitely enjoy like being yeah, explained because break it down further. Because I had to see people's point of view on things. Like, how did they pick it up? How what how did what did they see, you know? Right. But what is enthralled with like the main story, so right. What did so what did you see with the Odyssey? Uh with the 70 inch, you see more penis, a lot more penis. They don't limit it, you know? Like they don't limit it. Matt Damon was just showing Shlong the whole time. Does he really?

SPEAKER_10 17:46

Uh no. Does he show it in the regular movie?

SPEAKER_05 17:48

No. Uh but it wasn't. I was like, dang, I I must have been in the restroom at that point. Uh no, it's just yeah, I just enjoyed the whole thing, man. It was cool to watch it the first time, and then like the whole all the lore is coming out behind it, like uh, there's very limited CGI and all that stuff. Well, I mean, of course there's CGI, but yeah, it wasn't too crazy. Yeah, I'm I'm digging all of it, man.

SPEAKER_09 18:07

Damn, dude. It was good.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

It was really good. Such a good movie, yeah. Yeah, Tom Holland was great. Um casted very well. So I'm calling I think he put portrayed that role really well, like the kind of just younger, but wanting to be the king, but he just mom kept smacking him down.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

I was like, damn, he's a wimp. Come on, bro.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Yeah, yeah. He portrayed that really well, I feel it was really well.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

I really thought at some point he was going to um, like when he was fighting, I was like, yeah, like he's gonna get this like here comes, like this amazing fucking power now, just like fidge, I know. I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 18:40

It's slapped down every time. Like Spider-Man, no.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

I know we we just seen him in like a Spider-Man trailer beating the shit out of uh of the Hulk.

SPEAKER_05 18:49

Yeah, he's fucking fighting the Hulk, and now he's like getting slapped down, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:53

You know, I it's maybe gonna be a little controversial what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_05 18:59

Let's hear it, let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Now it's because I I really don't know my thoughts on this or how to um how to formulate this thought, right? But I'm thinking of like Greek mythology, right, and everything that they're talking about, and like like you know, the like Zeus and Athena and all these things, and and you know how every story has this life lesson and everything. And I'm thinking like these are stories that are passed down like hundreds and hundreds of years, right? And there's a reason they're passed down to teach lessons, to now now as an adult, I can see the lessons behind it, and and you know, maybe and then I was thinking like, damn, that's the like that's the Bible.

SPEAKER_05 19:41

Back then, I mean, yeah, I mean it's almost I want to say it's probably as old, who knows?

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Yeah, yeah, but I'm thinking like maybe a little bit older. But how did the Bible okay? So Greek mythology went from like, okay, this is what you know, maybe at some point they they did believe in like Zeus and everything and all that, but then it it got passed down into like okay, these are these are stories that we tell each other to, you know, like to pastime or to like anything. Like, and I was thinking, like, how did how did the Bible not like turn how did it go from it it being stories like that and maybe less life lessons to like being this like this is the way of the entire life and entire beings and everyone on this planet like this is the truth?

SPEAKER_05 20:28

Like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Do you know what I'm trying to say?

SPEAKER_05 20:30

I feel like it would only be a matter of time until we realize, oh yeah, it was actually all just like made up stuff. But it's fun though. It's fun to talk about men being eaten by a whale and like living in there for months.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

I I just wonder, like, where where where did it go that direction?

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Yeah, you're you're asking why is Greek mythology thought as like uh mythology. Like yeah, like like mythology, like stories to tell. And it's like factual where we are now and you know, Christianity or Yeah, I guess Christianity and different denominations of Christianity being you know, like a uh truth and the way of life and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

So yeah, like it's like very matter, like it's just this this is concrete, you know. We don't question this. If you question this, you're going to hell. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

I think if you have a a big foundation of people that believe, I'm pretty sure that if if Greek mythology had that many people following it, I'm pretty sure that it'd be like a another big religion. Just Christianity was.

SPEAKER_05 21:41

Are we vitalizing an old religion? I think I think we're organizing something.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

But that's what I'm saying is like the difference between like Greek mythology, right? We're talking about thousands of years of these stories getting passed down, right? And these stories being used to teach you life lessons, but there people know that. The difference between okay, I'm gonna get this and I'm gonna learn from it, versus like what Christianity turned into is like maybe if people wouldn't have gotten so like this is everything, like those stories can still be used to learn these life lessons for everyone. Do you do you know what I'm trying to kind of say there?

SPEAKER_05 22:19

Like for sure. Like people just started taking it way too, yeah, just like to heart. Like, nothing.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

Because if you taught me some of like the like I I don't know a lot of like biblical stories, but the ones that I do, I'm just like, oh, okay, like yeah, like I could see the meaning behind them, I can see what it is.

SPEAKER_05 22:35

See like as a meaning, not like 100% like you need to now do live this way because so and so said so.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Yeah, but I think also in in somebody that that follows and and reads uh the Bible or there there's different interpretations that denominations do or when they read, they they create their own interpretation of what the story is. Not everything is is uh I think you're thinking about uh you're thinking about fundamentalists, which are fundamentalist Christians, they they take the story of the like lit like they take it literal. And there's denominations like certain uh parts or different groups of Christianity that that interpret the Bible. There's an interpretation, so there's there's there's a hundred, there's probably there's hundreds of denominations of Christians and they take the Bible and they create their own interpretation of what the Bible is and what the stories is, so it's all completely different. But you're talking about fundamentalists, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

But I'm just I'm talking in an overall sense of like when like why couldn't Christianity have just been like a Greek mythology and been used in an everyday household taught at school? Like like Greek mythology is being taught at school.

SPEAKER_08 24:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

Why? Because we know that it's not like this crazy You don't base your entire life off of it.

SPEAKER_05 24:17

Yeah, just make it lose stories, fun, fun stories, you know? Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Not yeah, until we start ours.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

We're revitalizing this. Come on, we're gonna be. Worshiping the cyclops.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

I don't know. You know, maybe if I once I die, and then it's gonna be like, should have uh right. Should have uh believed in me, Amber.

SPEAKER_05 24:42

You hear those horns.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Well, speaking of that, dude, you said you had like a uh uh near uh and what do they call it? Uh NDE or near death experience.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

Yeah, near death experience, dude. But uh yet again I work at a funeral home, so that's every day. Hey, you know that's right. Uh but yeah, I had almost, yeah. It's crazy the fact that I almost died, but uh, I made it through. I think I I think I live so I can watch the Odyssey so we can revival, bro.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Or some of our listeners that haven't heard uh Juan's last episode, which you should. Um but Juan not only does he do stand-up comedy, but he is a I don't want to put your well what is your title? Mortician. A mortician.

SPEAKER_05 25:27

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, work work at a moratorium. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:31

He uh no, I was I was trying to think of a joke.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Tie it together. I was gonna say he kills them, but he doesn't kill. He they already died. Then he kills him with laughter at the end of the day. There we go.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

And then pick up the bodies afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

But I was like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 25:48

But yeah, I've been yeah, mortician for 20 years, and yeah, so like it was so crazy, like that I almost became a customer. I almost became a client. That's one joke I've been saying. I was like, dude, even if even if I died, I would still have to go to work the next day. And it's like, damn it.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

Like So, okay, so so let me this is I don't know if I we talked about this uh last episode, but I have this really, really like eerie, like morbid thing that somebody told me one time. And I want to say it was my dad. Um, but don't quote me on that. But this is years, years, years, years ago. And I'm I don't know if we talked about it last episode, but I'll I'll reiterate it. Okay. And I hate reiterating it because I always think about it and I'm like, oh. But um, someone somebody told me that people tend to die around their birthday.

SPEAKER_05 26:41

Yeah, yeah, I can I can attest to that for sure. Yeah, it's it's normally around their birthday. I'm like, ah yeah, that's why I was like, when I when I all that stuff happens right around my birthday.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

So I was gonna ask you that because you said it was right after your 40th. And my my mom had like a I don't want to say near death, but she did. And it was right after her 50th birthday, like literally like two days after her 50th birthday.

SPEAKER_05 27:04

Yeah, it's it's crazy. I have noticed that I would say majority of people, like I would say more than 50% of people, yeah, tend to like pass away right around their birthdays, like either just before or just after. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Like I love celebrating my birthday and I get excited, but I have like that knowing that and knowing that I'm just like fuck.

SPEAKER_05 27:23

Yeah, we're getting one year older, just like you know, it's like one day when one day closer to but you do you do see that? Oh yeah, oh 100%, yeah. Yeah, I see that a lot. Like people always die around their birthday, like they're trying to hang on for you know that's why it's either just before or just after, because like they're not doing well, so they're just trying to hang on for that one last hurrah, and then and they don't make it. Yeah, yeah, I see that actually a lot. I always like bring it up to them. I was like, oh, because I'm going over the information, like, oh, it was they almost made it there to the birthday. I was like, damn it, like that's always sad. Or they just had their birthday.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

Yeah, or like a couple weeks like after or a couple weeks before. Yeah, that was something that I that I'm telling you. I want to say it was my dad that somebody told him, and then after that I was like, hmm. And now it's something that I whenever yeah, I always think about, and whenever somebody passes, and then I'm like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_05 28:11

Like Yeah, when was your birthday?

SPEAKER_03 28:13

Yeah, and then I look and I'm like, oh yeah, damn.

SPEAKER_05 28:16

He was a cancer, of course, of course.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

I mean, come on, bro, you didn't see that coming.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin birthdays for anybody. Everybody's gonna be all like, oh, my day's coming.

SPEAKER_05 28:28

So celebrate it. No, it makes even better, you know? Like fucking you make it, fucking you celebrate that shit, dude.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

If you're a cancer, stop smoking.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

So smoke more, you know. That's that's true. My mom on our 50, she so she turned 50, and two days later she had um, so one of her arteries uh got clogged.

SPEAKER_08 28:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Um, we don't know from what anything. My mom's a type that works out almost every day. Like she's she's pretty healthy.

SPEAKER_08 28:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

And um she was on the verge of having a stroke because of the artery, and she was able to like catch it. Like, literally, like they told her, like, I don't know, if you would have been four more hours, like you would have gotten a full stroke and that scares me more than the hard stuff is strokes because like that with the brain, all that.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Yeah, that's a brain thing, too.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

So so we went to a couple months ago, or maybe last year, it was last year. So then I don't think we had seen you yet, but we went to this event, right? So I volunteer for the city and I do something around like June time. We went to this event, and there was this man, they do like a casino night, and there was this man that um they hired to, you know, deal cards. So I took my parents, I took uh Gil and myself, and all four of us were sitting at his table, and he was like, you know, like an older Asian man, and his name was um Pang. Was his name Peng?

SPEAKER_02 29:50

Ping.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

Ping. Ping. His name was Ping. And um, you know, we sit down and he's like asking us, like, oh, what are your guys' what's your sign? And we're like, okay, like, yeah, I like this, I fuck with it, you know, because I I like like physiology stuff. Like, I'm like, all right, all right, ping, you know, I'm a Scorpio, and he's like, Oh, okay, whatever. So then my mom comes and she sits next to me, and then he asks her, like, oh, what's your sign? And then, you know, she's like, Oh, I'm a Virgo. And he's like, Can I see your hand? And my mom was like, sure. And then she like like gave you know her hand. And my mom is very um, I don't know, I think we talked about it last time too. Like, I didn't grow up with like ghosts, I didn't grow up like any of that. It's not in our home. It was never like my mom was like, if there's a noise, if there's something weird that happens, it's there's a reasonable thing.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

There's a reason.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

So I I never grew up like being scared of like things. I'm more scared of like people, like real people than like ghosts or anything like that. So my mom doesn't believe in like hand reading, any of that. So she was just kind of like, and she looked at me and I was like, just do it. Like, yeah, let's see what he says. Yeah. So then he like looked at her hand and he was like, Oh, he's like, you know, blah blah blah, whatever. Like he started saying stuff, and then my mom's like, What are you talking about? And he's like, Oh, he's like, Um, you had a uh uh you shouldn't, no, he said, You shouldn't be here right now. And my mom was like, What? And he's like, Yeah, he's like, You had a near-death experience. He's like, You you should have died. And then my mom just like got really pale, and then I was like, Hell yeah, oh shit, because again, we don't know this man, like we've never met him, never met him, never seen him in my life. Nothing, and he's like, Yeah, he's like, I could see it in your hand. He's like, and it was around your birthday, and then it was like even more like wow, whoa, like that's crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

And you just got pinged.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

And we were like, Oh shoot, because again, like, you know, this is something that's not like yeah, you know, like my mom's not like, oh, but and I seen her eyes get like really, really watery, and then she told him, she's like, Yeah, like you know, and then she told him the story, and he's like, Yeah, I could see it. He's like, but don't worry, he's like, You have a really, really long life to live. He's like, You're not going anywhere anytime soon. He's like, So don't even worry about it.

SPEAKER_05 31:56

That's dope, that's beautiful. Hell yeah. All right, happy ending to that.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

Yeah, but I but I was like, Oh, shoot.

SPEAKER_05 32:02

That is scary. Yeah, that certain times I have people like, Hey, you have a weird aura about you. I'm like, Oh, shoot, like you know, like you got a weird aura. Like, yeah, you like I've had people do that before. Like, yeah, yeah, like you have a spirit attached to you or something. I was like, Oh, I need a limpia. Like, I needed like a little Mexican lady to give me a limpia, yeah. Honestly, have you ever got one of those? No, I want to though, like honestly. Yeah, you look like you look like you have a grandma that can do it.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

He's like, nah, he ain't got no grandma.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

If anything, my grandma's like attached to me. That's uh I need a lymphy, you're trying to get it. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know anybody.

SPEAKER_05 32:38

Yeah, I need a limpia. If anybody, yeah, if you listen to this, please. If you gotta that the hit me up.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

I'll hit up my friend Steve, Super Steve Flores. He wanted me to go do his podcast and have somebody do a Lympia on Olympia Olympia on me. He wanted to he wanted her, he wanted her to do it on the podcast to me.

SPEAKER_05 33:01

He's not eating Lumpia's not that he's rubbing the egg all over you his crumbs all following.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Or it could be a Filipino lady doing a Lympia. I'm down.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

I'm down for that.

SPEAKER_05 33:12

With Lumpia at work. Yeah. I'm down.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

Do you ever feel do you do you first of all do you believe like spiritually, like things like that, or no?

SPEAKER_05 33:23

Somewhat. I mean, I try to, I try to be open to it. I've never experienced anything too crazy. Uh, but yeah, I tried to like the other day I was dressing a lady and like I I sit there and I'll talk to her. You know, like I was just talking to her the whole time, getting her ready. I was talking Spanish with her because I don't I gotta practice Spanish, so I was just practicing on this dead lady. But yeah, I try to I try I try to be open to it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 33:40

She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

It felt good not having to see the face cringes that ooh, like finally someone that doesn't talk back. Someone who understands.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

But but I mean, overall, you're not like I do you I mean, okay, did you talk to her? Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

Well, with your with your near-death experience, did you what did you experience? Uh was there anything significant in in what happened?

SPEAKER_05 34:13

I mean that you can remember or like just just anything like dream like I because I that whole time I had to I had to be sober, I can and I smoke a lot of weed, so I started dreaming again and I started dreaming of like my past lives and stuff, people that I that I've had like a a close friend of mine I had like a heart falling out with. I was like, man, but I kept dreaming of him. So I was like, maybe I should reach out to him, but I haven't because I'm not like that because I'm not gonna be like it's not gonna it's not gonna be. I learned that lesson already. I'm not gonna go back and revisit that lesson again. Uh one yeah, one thing that kept coming up is um people were like were constantly at the at the hospital have to ask me before doing anything, like, hey, do you know what you're here for? You know, do it, do you know what you're here for? So I'd like at one point that they kept asking us. I was like I'm gonna just joke around this next guy. He's like, Oh, do you know what you're here for? I was like, Yeah, sex change operation. And he laughed, dude, and he kept like repeating that to everywhere else. He's here for a sex change operation. So I was just it was funny. Uh so I'm a woman now because one thing I learned is commit to the bit, bro. Commit to the bit.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

She's my favorite comedian. Right, respect me. So and so nothing too.

SPEAKER_05 35:24

I mean, I mean, I wasn't see the light. I didn't see the light. I didn't. I remember the day of my surgery, I was very nervous, and they asked me, like, what do you want to listen to? And I was like, Oh, I'm listening to some Chopin. I was like, put on some classical music for me. And I remember hearing that and then just going under and like waking up, like the surgery was supposed to only be four hours, but because they when they opened me up, they found that other thing ended up being like seven hours. Uh so I woke up later, like all intubated, and like I was all chained up and everything, too. Yeah, so that was a crazy thing, man. Uh but before that, yeah, it was just just the inevitable, like just knowing like, alright, just let it let go. And like if you if it if I don't wake up again, I don't wake up again. But if you do, like just be ready to just be ready, you know. Like so that that was a trip. It definitely still kind of messes with me. I'm still like kind of still, you know, processing all of it. I'm definitely grateful as hell for life, man, because I should be all day, I should be dead. Like on paper, I should have died, but here I am. Dang.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

See all those spirits that you you talk to when you're getting them, they're probably right.

SPEAKER_05 36:27

Yeah, that's that's the that's that's the other thing for myself. I was thinking like maybe I've worked with death for a while, man. Like he gave me that pass, like, alright, let this one, let this one go. So it's a chip.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Did I'm trying to remember, did did we see you before yeah, I think we seen you before that happened when you came out to do the show that I was throwing out in the South.

SPEAKER_05 36:52

That one's also like I was in the midst of it. I wasn't feeling good. And I remember like, dude, yeah, I remember going up the stairs to to hang out, going up those stairs. I like afterwards, I had to sit up there for a minute, and every time I had to walk up and down those stairs, I was like, Oh, you got this, you got this. Like, yeah, it was bad. It was really bad, dude. Wow. I knew like I knew I was dying. So I was like, a part of me was like, I hopefully I just How do you know? I I just because I remember one time I had someone who had had they were diagnosed with cancer and he had pre-arrangements with us, and he came like maybe about a it'll be like maybe about a month or so before you, but he died. And he told me, Hey, I'm I'm I'm dying right now. I just want to make sure all my paperwork's in place. I remember asking him, like, hey, how does it feel to be actively dying right now? He's like, because you how often you get to ask somebody that, you know? So he was just like, I'm just tired, man. He's like, everything I do, I'm just so tired. And like, and I've having felt that I was like, dude, yeah, I was so tired. And I was like, I just knew I was like, all right, this could be it. And if I die, hopefully it's in my sleep. But it wasn't happening, so I was like, at that point, I was like, all right, I need to go to the hospital. So yeah, I went to the hospital, and yeah. So that close. But it was like I was kind of hoping for it. You know, like I had a part of me, I was like, I can just go in my sleep and it'll be fine. But it just wasn't happening. So that's why I was like, all right, this is getting progressively worse. Like, I alright, I have to go because it's not happening. Like Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

And that's what's so scary about like and and I lump myself in this, like, not wanting to go to the doctor, or like, if you don't go to the doctor, you won't know what's wrong with you. And it's like one of those things, but it's like our body I mean, if I guess if you if you don't believe in God, right? Because if you believe in God, then then people say, like, oh, well, God is the one you know, kind of orchestrating your body or when you're done. But if you don't, it's kind of like you you start thinking, like, well, my body, like, what's stopping my body from continuing to work for me? What is like what is this whole thing, right? And we just take it for granted because we go through life and every day of just like you know, either staying up really late or consuming things that we shouldn't, and and putting all this stress on our body that our body's just like taking it and taking it and taking it. And it's like we we're so afraid to go to the doctor and or to, you know, like kind of maintain ourselves that it's it's scary because you really don't know when your body can give out or when your body's done or when you know things arise. Like it's it's really crazy.

SPEAKER_05 39:19

Yeah, that that's one thing I've I've always kind of because doing what I do, I I always have a lot of questions. And when I find out when someone was diagnosed, like at that point, how fast did it progress? Like, didn't know didn't you now knowing and you dwelling on that, did that progress it faster, or did you did you put up the fight, the fight or flight thing? And so everyone reacts differently. I've seen people like, oh, he went on for years after that. And other people were saying, as soon as he found out, like within within the Yeah, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 39:42

I hear that a lot too. Like once uh I I think that the same concept was was like that with my mom. Like what she she was in and out of the hospital for like years, for years with with uh diabetes and um just like complications with that, and then when she found out she got cancer, she I think it was like maybe a month. Yeah, a month and she was gone. And I think it was that just that that diagnosis of then you then you're dwelling on it, then you're yeah, and I think my mother was she she was one of those people that would would dwell on it for sure. I I just just I mean I was like I think it was like 11, like twelve, thirteen, so uh around there. I I i it it's sad, but I I don't really remember her as much. Yeah. But I feel like that like she like she was she was one of those.

SPEAKER_05 40:49

Like once it's in your head, like it just like the same sprouts and start you start just thinking about it. And then because you're thinking about it, it's like your body starts focusing more on that, and it's like it's a trippy thing, man. The human the human brain, man, it's a trippy.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

For sure, 100%.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

Yeah, it's our best friends, but it also can be our worst enemy to turn on you, and yeah, it's crazy. No shit.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

Yeah, and it can make you do like a a lot of things, and sometimes your brain, like I I I think we've talked about this of like um like they say that when somebody drowns, like if you're drowning, um, you're not really like yes, you get water in your lungs, but that's not what you're dying from. It's your own body closing its throat up to try to protect you from getting water in. Yeah. So you're pretty much like self-asphyxiating, like your body does that for you, but your body doesn't know any like different, you know what I mean? Like it just knows we're we're in in uh in distress, and I'm going to help you. And it's like, no, what it's it's the opposite.

SPEAKER_05 41:54

Yeah, you're you're hurting it, you're making it worse.

SPEAKER_03 41:56

Yeah, and and that's what I think is crazy. I mean, I had a cousin that was he was like a carpenter and he fell, he ended up falling, and he ended up having an injury, so they took him to the hospital and they were like, Hey, you have cancer, and he was like, What? And they were like, Yeah, this looks like it's been in your body for like like a really long time already. Crazy. And he was like, Oh, like I didn't feel anything. And literally, he made it like two, three months at most after knowing that he had it.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Yeah, you see, like it's stories like that. I'm just like, don't you?

SPEAKER_10 42:31

Don't go to the doctor. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 42:33

Yeah, that's why I don't go, okay. This stuff like that. So did he break his leg or anything, or did he just uh what was the initial diagnosis?

SPEAKER_03 42:41

Like well, because he fell from like a it wasn't even like a second story, but it was pretty high up. Yeah. So he had like some kind of injuries, like back injuries, but other than Imagine like you have cancer.

SPEAKER_05 42:51

What about my leg, Doc?

SPEAKER_03 42:52

Yeah, not your legs are we chopped that off while you were asleep. No, but but I I get what Gil's saying. It's one of those like, well, if I don't go to the doctor, then I don't have anything. But then it's like you get to the doctor and then you're like, Well, if you would have came sooner, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:08

Like, my god, how did you ignore this car? Like, that's how like when I went, that's how it felt. Like, they're like how like even like when I went in, I remember I went to Kaiser. Uh, even the security guard was like, bro, your ankles are swollen. I was like, oh no. Even the security guard knows, it's like, dude, this is bad. Like, uh, are you serious? The security guard is like, bro. Oh shit. All right, he knows more than the actual doctors, this guy. Let's get him in here, right? He needs his own show.

SPEAKER_08 43:37

He's like, meet me around the corner.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

I'll have that fixed.

SPEAKER_08 43:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:42

It it is something scary, and I think like we don't want to face it, but the older that we get, it's like it's like a car. Like you take, or at least like I I can say, I don't know about you, but Gil, like, he he's very like, okay, we need to take the car for the oil change. We need to take the car the We need to check the tires. Like he's taking care of his car. So you're taking your care of your car, but you can't take care of it.

SPEAKER_05 44:07

Oh, I'm the worst of the car. I'm the worst.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

So it's like, you know, like, why do we give management to other things, but we can't give management to our own selves, is that is what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_05 44:18

So true. Because again, I'm the worst at taking care of like other parts of like, dude, my car, like the tire needs to get changed, and it's like, ah, the medal's not even showing yet. What are you even talking about?

SPEAKER_04 44:27

I grew up ghetto, dude. Like yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:31

That's why when I went to the hospital, I was like, yeah, all right. I guess I gotta start taking this seriously. I I say, as I had heart surgery and sip my coffee here.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

I know I told him. I told him. No, I told him. I was like, hey, you want to grab some, you want something to drink? He's like, No, I'm laying off the the caffeine. And I was like, Are you sure? And then he was like, you know what? Give me a coffee. And I'm like, sure.

SPEAKER_03 44:55

It was the RC.

SPEAKER_05 44:57

No, it's I don't drink too much coffee, so like I couldn't have some a little bit every once in a while.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

And then he asked me, What are you getting? I was like, uh, an iced Americano. I go, I go straight for the espresso. Yeah, let me give one of those too. All right. Two extra shots.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

I I went to the doctor this year after years of not going, and I was very like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my goodness. And then they even do like, oh, we're gonna do an STD test on you. And then in my head, I was like, like I know, like I know that I don't have a fucking thing.

SPEAKER_05 45:25

Those are always scary for sure.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

But then I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, oh god.

SPEAKER_05 45:28

Right, you're just waiting for that phone call later.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Yeah, and I'm like, why am I so fucking nervous?

SPEAKER_05 45:34

Yeah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_10 45:36

If you're good, I'm good. I don't need it, I don't need to go to the doctor. I'm good. But then I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

But then you know, uh everything came back, and it was she was like, Oh, everything looks great. You're just a little deficient in your vitamin C. She was like, and I was like, oh my god, like it took me like six years to get there, you know. Vitamins, yeah. Like vitamins. But for me, it's I grew up being in and out of hospitals.

SPEAKER_08 46:03

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:04

That now I'm just like stay away. I don't want to fucking go in there. And there's a lot of things that I still like I have like uh like what they call like fever dreams of of instances of me being like on the operating table, like the whole like going under process. I can smell it sometimes. Like I'm like doing nothing, like I'm like in my home, relax, everything, and then my fucking nervous system like boom, like turns on, and I can smell the smell of like the anesthesia, and it's so like it makes me like sick. Yeah, and I'm just like what the fuck? Like yeah, it's crazy. And I remember like I remember going under, and again, I I was a like I was a child, you know. I was I I mean I had my first major surgery at six months. Oh my gosh, and it went all the way up to I was about 13 when I said no. A lot, a lot, a lot of them. And I remember like, you know, like just this whole like on the way to the hospital, getting there, and then like my you know, me asking my mom, like, what are they gonna do? And my mom was never she always says she's like, I didn't want to be the type that would tell you, like, it's not gonna hurt, you're just gonna go to sleep. Like, no, my mom would tell me, like, and maybe remember how earlier I was telling you, I was like, I couldn't listen to things and then just go to sleep and not be affected. And now I guess now that I'm out loud saying this, I guess I understand why. Because at a very young age, like my mom would be like, Yeah, they're gonna like they're gonna put you under and they're gonna open you up, and they're gonna work on your hip, and they're you know, like, yeah, you're gonna be away from me for nine hours, and you're gonna wake up and you're probably gonna be really sick. Like, those were the conversations she was having with me, and I was like five.

SPEAKER_05 47:51

Oh my god. So yeah, for sure. Like, yeah, through that you're kind of like here, you can like hear her, hear.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

So now I'm like, what are you gonna tell me? You know, so it's like it's like those things, and I remember, and I think that that's why like I I try to steer away from taking any any substances. Like, yeah, I don't even really like taking like um like Tylenol or Advil. I have to be like in a lot of fucking pain to take it.

SPEAKER_08 48:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:12

But I remember like being again, like four, five, six, I mean, all the way up to my last surgery when I was able to be like, no, but they used to give me like Vicodin and like like really, really hard killers. And I used to have like like really really lucid like dreams of me like just doing weird shit. And I can still remember some of those things, and I'm like the Winnie the Winnie the Pooh ride or just Yeah, like the Winnie the Pooh ride, like all like it's all trippy, it's crazy, it's pretty trippy. It's it's wild.

SPEAKER_05 48:45

Have you done it? Have you done it?

SPEAKER_03 48:47

No, there was one time that like literally like they because when I started getting older, they started letting me like do like the um so they I it was a button that I could self-administer uh medication every 30 minutes if I wanted to.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

And I was like, so the first time that they told me, they told me like you need to put it. The doctor came in and he's like, you need to push it.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

That's fucking scary, really. Every 30 minutes, how old were you?

SPEAKER_03 49:12

I'm telling you, I was like that time I was like seven.

SPEAKER_02 49:15

That's wild.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

I was like seven years old because I remember somebody came to visit me and they gave me like this big plush animal, and I knew that I had it from seven. Yeah, and the doctor came in and he's like, Hey, you haven't pushed your medication.

SPEAKER_04 49:25

Like, you haven't getting high. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 49:28

Literally, literally, literally, literally. He was like, Hey, you just had this like major surgery and you're not pushing the button. Yeah, like I'm gonna need you to push it because we don't want you to be dude, fucking peer pressure. Yes, do it and my mom was just like, Come on, you're gonna feel really good. So I pushed it. I remember pushing it, and it was uh morphine.

SPEAKER_07 49:54

Oh my god, it was morphine. Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

And I remember like, because people would come and visit me, like my family, you know, and and I remember getting visitors at that time, like a little after I had pushed it. Yeah, and I just remember them talking, and they were talking to me like the peanuts, like you know, like uh exactly. And I was like, and I was going like this, and my mom was like, Are you okay? I could only no, but I could only hear my mom good, and everybody else was in the peanuts' voice. Yeah, and I just remember like like going like that, and then I like leaned my head back, and then the roof opened up. That's it. It opened, and then the clouds were going like that, and then they were like waving at me.

SPEAKER_05 50:38

I swear, like I can imagine her pushing the button and just like you hear like Jimi Hendrix like the little purple rain.

SPEAKER_03 50:44

I was getting high, I was getting high as like a child. Like it's it's that's crazy.

SPEAKER_10 50:49

Yeah, the opening organs from Light My Fire. Jim Morrison coming to see you.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

Yeah, that's when someone's like, I'm addicted to Vicodin. I was like, bitch, I'm doing that since I was like flying. But after that, I I refused it. After that one, I was like, No. And my mom, like they would come in and they were like, We need her. Mm-hmm would be like, No, if she could take her pain, then she can take it.

SPEAKER_05 51:12

Like doctors were like, damn it.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Yeah, they probably couldn't cash out on my Vicodin.

SPEAKER_05 51:18

Yeah, it's it's yeah, I don't try, yeah, painkillers. That was the same thing. They gave me pills and stuff, but I was like, I try not to take them because I still my mom had a problem with pills and everyone's in the family, so I was like, I don't, yeah, yeah, dude. I wouldn't I wouldn't do that, dude. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 51:33

Yeah, it's it's it's crazy. And and that's what something people think like having any type of surgery is like it's it's a big deal.

SPEAKER_05 51:44

Yeah. And still like it trips me out that they had like cut like that at some point they had to stop the heart.

unknown 51:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 51:50

That is crazy, dude.

SPEAKER_05 51:52

Like they had to restart it, you know, like so that's it, yeah, because it there's no way you can do that, like cut in like that without it going crazy. So like they had to stop it at some point. So that's a trip, dude.

SPEAKER_03 52:00

So you were you were like I had to have been dead for a little bit there.

SPEAKER_05 52:03

So like that was that's that's a trippy part for sure. Like that's the part like I'm still like thinking of that constant constantly over my head, and it's like, man, I I died for a little bit there, and they had to like restart it.

SPEAKER_03 52:12

But going in, it's so it's such a weird thing, right? When you go under and then you wake up and it's like you feel like like or at least for my experience, I felt like no time had passed.

SPEAKER_05 52:22

Like, yeah, I felt like I just took a quick little nap. Yeah, and then I wake up and then suddenly like it's like because I went in in the morning, it was supposed to be like first thing in the morning, but I didn't get into like the actual operating room to like maybe ten or so uh in the morning. And then when I woke up, I think it was like past midnight, I think it was like two in the morning, and I remember just waking up and just like kind of just coming. It felt like like Wolverine, like when we wakes up, it's like I and like they had me all tied down, I was all intubated, and I'm like, what's going on? Because I was trying to communicate with my hands, even something, but I couldn't because like I was all tied down. Uh and they were like they kind of calm me down, they're like, uh, you're you've been even you've been asleep this whole time, like your oxygen levels are really low every time we fall asleep. Because I had sleep apnea. Uh but all every time so you need to stay awake for at least like 10-15 minutes so we can like unintubate you. Yeah. And I kept like just falling back to sleep. Yeah, it was it was a crazy, it was a cra it was scary, but it's like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

Yeah, that's how I used to wake up. But I used to wake up like shivering, and then I wanted to like take the tube out, and then they would have to like okay.

SPEAKER_05 53:22

Yeah, that's why they had me tied down, that I could we we didn't know. Oh, because you had a tube? Yeah, I was intubing. Yeah, they had to be like, yeah, I had the tube down my throat, so like I was trying to talk and I couldn't talk because that thing is like there, so it's like it felt weird, dude. I was like, oh man.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

Yeah, that's how that's how I used to wake up. And then I used to get this thing called croup, and so I guess I was a like semi-allergic to um to the anesthesia. So when I would wake up, I used to have a lot of phlegm that would accumulate, and then I would have this cough like a dog, like Yeah, I had that and that I had that, and that sucked because I just had that.

SPEAKER_05 53:55

So like every time I would cough, it would hurt it would hurt. Yeah, so it's croup.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

So it's called croup. And it also has to do with with the intubation and you waking up and still being intubated. Because there's a lot of people that wake up and the tube is gone.

SPEAKER_05 54:08

I wish, yeah, that would be weird. They're in there. It's like, oh yeah. Yeah. It was that, and they also had like three tubes in me, because I guess my lungs were were filled up with fluid, so they had like drained out the fluid. So they had these three tubes inside me, and like that I felt was more when they had to remove that part. Like they had like there's like, oh, is there a procedure or anything? No, we just go in there, we just yank them out, count the three, and it's like yeah, that part was a trip, man. That part hurt a lot, dude.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

But uh it's traumatic, it's very traumatic.

SPEAKER_05 54:38

I was like telling the nurse, like, hold my hand, bro. Yeah, it was it was rough to just yank them just pulling them out. All right, one, two, three, breathe in, and bam, and they just pulled them out, dude. Yeah, it was rough.

SPEAKER_03 54:48

So you're here, you're here to tell the tale.

SPEAKER_05 54:51

I'm here to tell the tale, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:52

We're all killed all like you're like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:56

Remember when they do the right Yeah, so like I'm grateful, like the second chance of life, man. I'm like so like not everyone gets that, and I got that. So like, man, I'm really grateful for that. So every time I go do any random show, I'm like, I think it's I think I survived so I can be here this random open open mic at a bar.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

But it but it does, and and that's what's great, Juan, is that it it gave you a different perspective of of life and and of it because I don't think everybody grasps that and and and it's sad to say that something like this had to happen. Right. Maybe in order for you know a little a few things to change in your life or whatever you know your mindset is, but but it it does change that, and I think like for me, it that happened to me really, really early. Yeah, and now I'm just like alright.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

We were talking we were talking about that upstairs a little bit, and and I asked you how you were, and you're just head, I'm I every day is like a blessing. Every day feels like a blessing. Every day since then I feel like it's a blessing, man.

SPEAKER_05 55:57

Like just the the gratitude washes over me as I do like so many people have just like just random random little things, and like I went four months, like four months after looking up what I had and I was saying, like, yeah, within the first 48 hours, if you don't have it, like you have a like 50% chance of survival. Like you somehow went four months, it was like man, that trips me out.

SPEAKER_02 56:16

What do you what do you okay? So that right, that what you just said like how do you how do you feel that like how do you internalize that? Like knowing that not many people get what you get and yeah, that how how do you like how do you how do you read into that? Do you do you overthink about it? Like I would be I would overthink into it like so much. Like how do you internalize that, man? How do you how you how do you live with that?

SPEAKER_05 56:44

A part of me had did have survivor's guilt. Like, man, like I survived this, like man, so like the day I went in um for for like just to the mercy room, I don't know if you ever knew Eddie Jarvis, uh, but he's an old comedian from England Empire. He he died from an ineor di aorta dissection that same day that I went in. So like that like weighed heavy on me. I was like, holy shit. So the survivor's guilt for sure. But since then it's like, all right, you survived it, and yeah, and like now you get to continue on and just you know just make whatever you can of this time. Like, because I feel like it just borrowed time now. Like it's just got that little extra little mushroom. It's like, alright, just you know, like yeah, I feel feel feel very grateful for everyone. That's good, man. Yeah, absolutely, man. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Well, I'm dude. I'm I'm so I'm super glad that you're you're good, man.

SPEAKER_05 57:28

Yeah, no, for sure. I appreciate that, man. I feel I feel glad. I feel how like ever since like it's crazy running into people like like it's almost like post-surgery is the way I see that second life. So like I ran into Sylvia Danny the other day, and like I hadn't seen her since the surgery. It's like, oh my god, it's so like oh she remembers me. Like it's so crazy to like repeat re meet people again. Just like during that whole like procedure, I had to relearn everything. I had to relearn how to walk again. Really? Yeah, dude. I because at first I was so weakened I couldn't walk. I had to use like a walker there for the first few days I was in the hospital. I had to like rebuild that up. Yeah, just everything. It's like everything he got like.

SPEAKER_02 58:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 58:02

It feels like they pulled the cartridges out of the Nintendo and it's like Yeah. And just like, yeah, popped it back in. It's like, all right, now I gotta redo everything again.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

Holy crap, dude. Yeah, when when you like posted something about it or you you said something about it, and I read it, I was like, dude, we were just we were just talking to him, and I I that's we just seen him like a couple weeks ago. We had him on the show in Southgate.

SPEAKER_05 58:23

It's it's it's been crazy. That's the one thing like I always hear that, like, oh, but I just talked to him. That's what I try I try not to talk to people.

SPEAKER_01 58:31

So nobody says that.

SPEAKER_05 58:33

Yeah, that's that's serious, dude. Yeah, that's but yeah, I'm grateful for all of it, man. It's like, yeah, I'm grateful to be like alive here, just doing this right now. Like, this is sick, dude. Like, all right, cool. A little bit more into my memory, a little bit more things, a little bit, a little bit more out of joy I get out of life, you know.

SPEAKER_09 58:46

Well, dude, I'm always I'm always happy to do stuff with you, dude.

SPEAKER_05 58:49

Oh, for sure. Yeah, I always enjoy. Yeah, you always you always have a good good vibes, good vibes. That's always it's always it's important, man. That's sort of trying to just when you feel good vibes, you try to just stay within that with those people, you know. When you feel bad vibes, like, uh, get that out of here, you know? Get that out of here.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Like, get that corn out of my face.

SPEAKER_02 59:05

Seriously, dude. Um, we gotta wrap up, huh? Yeah, yeah. Uh Juan, thanks for coming on and doing the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 59:13

Of course, man. Thank you. Thank you for letting me be here to just like bum everyone out.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

No, all your listeners.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

No, it was a good, it was a good episode.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

Yeah, uh, definitely gotta have you again, man. Uh I I love doing shit with you, bro. Uh speaking of which, uh Poodle Laughs Comedy Show is back in the city of Paramount, ladies and gentlemen. August 13th. August Thursday, August 13th. Juan Cas is gonna be on the show. Oh, yeah. Anything else you got coming up?

SPEAKER_05 59:43

Uh I got a few things coming up. I'm hot I'm still hot right now through the surgery. Everyone's like, oh, he almost died. Get him on the show. Get him on! Yeah, uh, I got a few things coming up.

SPEAKER_02 59:57

Uh I got all the things coming up.

SPEAKER_05 59:59

I got a few things. It's nice, it's nice to get that. Nope. I got things coming up. Look, follow me on Instagram, you can follow see the things I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:06

Hell yeah. I'm gonna put his link down in the show description. Go follow him, go support live comedy. Uh if you're in the area, because we have a lot of people listening in the city of Paramount, City of Paramount, August 13th. Head to the Mexican monk brew house. Live comedy show. We'll be hosting. Anything else, Amber?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

Oh, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:31

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

Live your life, go to the doctor, have fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

Have fun, dream big, get shit done. Take care of yourself. Drink water, go watch Odyssey.

unknown 1:00:46

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:46

Go to Disneyland.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

Go to Disneyland. Do all you know what? Do do all the things that you want to do.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:54

Yeah. Enjoy this.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:55

Yeah. Don't I mean nobody nobody's watching you.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:59

Don't pay those bills. Just just let them go. Go ahead and spend that money on yourself. Let them go.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:04

Uh maybe you should pay a bill, but uh immediate bills.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:09

Immediate bills.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

Yeah, well, whatever's just gonna not get you evicted. Right. Or in jail.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:14

Yeah, both of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:17

Well.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

Oh, I don't know. Well what kind of bills can you let go and you get ev uh going to jail? Oh, like bail.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:26

Is that one or the kids? Or like child support? A public library bill.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

Your blockbuster bill.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:38

Shoot, I should be in prison.