Share The Struggle
Share The Struggle
Reflections on Loss, Legacy, and New Beginnings 228
Have you ever faced a date on the calendar that brings equal parts pain and nostalgia? For us, November 19th is exactly that—a day where loss and fond memories intertwine. This episode of the Share the Circle podcast marks our 228th journey, reflecting on the threads of grief and growth woven into our lives. Join us as we explore the transformative power of uncomfortable conversations and the gratitude that the holiday spirit brings.
As we honor the first anniversary of our father's passing, we share the emotional rollercoaster of living through those "firsts" without them—holidays, family gatherings, and cherished traditions. These shared experiences of loss create unexpected connections, bonding us in our grief. From the metaphorical challenge of erecting a 28-foot flagpole to the lessons of seeking help, we discuss the stubborn independence instilled in us by our loved ones. We also share insights on the subtle signs of their presence, finding comfort in everyday occurrences that remind us they are still watching over us.
Amidst the pain, new beginnings have brought healing and hope. The arrival of baby Paisley symbolizes a connection across generations, transforming our understanding of father-daughter bonds and the joy of parenthood. Through anecdotes of family gatherings and the profound realization of hearing a loved one's voice after their passing, we underscore the importance of preserving memories and legacies for future generations. Our commitment to storytelling not only helps us cherish these moments but also serves as a beacon of resilience and understanding for all who listen.
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The most difficult day of my life was on this day, november 19th 2023. Exactly one year ago, 365 days ago, I had to say goodbye to my hero, my old man, my dad. 6,205 days ago, on November 19th that's 17 years ago my wife lost her hero and role model, the woman who raised her, her grandmother. Today, we come together and try to understand all that has happened between November 19th. Let me tell you something.
Keith Liberty:Everybody struggles.
Keith Liberty:The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
Keith Liberty:If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be Back on time. We can find the truth the whole day gone we'll be right.
Keith Liberty:Way too fast and way too fast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. What it do, what it hot, dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-doo.
Alli Liberty:You sounded like a chickadee, chickadee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. That's our state bird, you know.
Keith Liberty:That is our state bird and I'm proud of you. Actually, what happened is I think I glitched. Happened is I think I glitched. I I like I hung up there and I'm feeling a little bit dehydrated and I think my tongue got stuck to the roof of my mouth and I just couldn't couldn't get it all out. Well, it sounded magnificent you look like you're wearing lieutenant dan's sweatshirt listen, don't let me say lieutenant dan, because look, you have one arm. What is going on over there?
Alli Liberty:my sweater's ripped, but it's too cozy to throw it away. Everybody has that good, cozy sweater that you just can't throw away. Well, my whole entire shoulder is ripped, from my shoulder to my elbow, and I refuse to let it go. I need to learn how to sew.
Keith Liberty:That good cozy sweatshirt of yours or sweater of yours I've never seen before in my life.
Alli Liberty:So don't you even worry about it. It's cozy. I think it's a family heirloom of sorts.
Keith Liberty:Just putting that out there, hot diggity. Damn, am I so excited to be joined again by you. It it's been a few weeks, babe, been a few weeks. You're back to work so. I am back to work yep, it's been a few weeks. I've been flying, flying solo over here on the show, really big show.
Alli Liberty:Now you have the baby.
Keith Liberty:It's a huge show, huge.
Alli Liberty:Really huge.
Keith Liberty:You got huge things coming, big, huge things. Episode 228. That's pretty huge, that is huge, that is really huge and today's going to be a very blessed show. Oh. God, we're going to talk about how blessed we are.
Alli Liberty:You're going to be sick of being blessed.
Keith Liberty:You're going to be so blessed. You're going to be tired of being blessed man Looking forward to making Christmas great again this year. I'm just going to be tired of being blessed man, looking forward to making Christmas great again this year.
Keith Liberty:I'm just going to put that out there, dude.
Keith Liberty:Episode 228. Hope you all are feeling great. 228 means that it's 228 consecutive weeks of Share the Circle podcast. Some weeks are easier than others, some weeks are just a little more difficult to record. Here we are again kind of up against the deadline, the date line, and I think the biggest reason for being up against that is number one we've been a little busy. But number two today's a day that I didn't really know how it was going to go. I didn't know what was going to happen, how I was going to feel, what to plan for, and I've always claimed that Share the Struggle podcast is a real, raw time response to life. Right, did I say that correctly? I don't think I did. It's a real, raw, raw, real time. That's what it is. That's how I say it. Am I intoxicated? I did have the biggest margarita of my life with my mom at dinner. Yeah, you did.
Keith Liberty:It is a raw real time response to life. Yeah. That's what it is. Why am I so stupid? It's the tequila. God, I'm an idiot. I did also get into the moonshine and I had a bush peach when I was sitting on my dad's tailgate admiring the field and staring at the horse.
Alli Liberty:I saw the bush out there. Bush peach, you were looking at my bush. You're welcome for finding that for you by the way.
Keith Liberty:Don't just slip over the fact that you were staring at my bush and you just admitted to it on the recording.
Alli Liberty:You just told the people you have a bush.
Keith Liberty:That alone is a problem. Amen, sister. They don't know what I do with my bush. How I keep it prim and prappy Anyways it's a happy little bush. It's a really happy little bush.
Alli Liberty:Moving on. We're not going to talk about your babushka, that's about your babushka.
Keith Liberty:That's about it. That's about it.
Alli Liberty:I'm going to scare the people away yes, we've already done that.
Keith Liberty:I didn't really know how today was going to go and I really thought that when I looked at the calendar, when I realized that November 19th just happened to be a Tuesday and we generally record our podcast on a Tuesday and get things edited up and posted up and ready to rock and roll for y'all to win another Wednesday. You little winners. For all my winners out there, you happy little winners, don't be confused by winners and winters. They're different. There's a T in winter. Okay, anyways, I've lost it. Squirrel.
Keith Liberty:I was saying something, and what I was saying is I love you.
Alli Liberty:I love you too, sugar.
Keith Liberty:But what I was trying to tell the people is, I realized that November 19th is a very important day, a landmark day for us, and it's one of those things where you get closer to it and you just tell yourself it's just going to be another day, that's it, it's just a day, I'm going to be over it. But then there's times during that day when it just kind of hits you. You just wake up different and emotions come out of nowhere. And for those of you that are listening for the first time, if you're not a day one, if you haven't been along for this journey of share the struggle, then you have no flipping clue what I'm talking about and I apologize to you. I should have explained myself better as we started the show, and I apologize to you. I should have explained myself better as we started the show, but November 19th 2023, at 744 am, I said goodbye to my father, to my hero, and this happens to mark 365 days.
Keith Liberty:Today is the anniversary of my dad's passing and I think the encouraging thing about this is to think that there's a lot of things that you do for the first time, and those things that you do for the first time, I feel like they hurt that much more.
Keith Liberty:You know, like the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first just all of those things, those like special moments and days and holidays. The first time you do those things, the first time you keep a tradition going, the first time you go to hunting camp without your dad, without your family member, your lifeline, your hero, the first time you do some of those things, I feel like it stings more. So today becomes one of the last first-time things that I'm going to do. Right, when you think about the things that me and him have always done together, today kind of marks like the end of doing those first time things without him For the most part, you know, like all those things that are on the calendar, those traditions and things that we do. Getting that behind me, as much as it sounds silly, kind of feels like an achievement. You know what I mean.
Alli Liberty:Right.
Keith Liberty:I get a fucking badge of courage today. You know, mm-hmm, I get a fucking badge of courage today. You know, mm-hmm. I shouldn't have swore I was early. You are early Lamb it on the tequila Lord. I apologize.
Alli Liberty:Take care of the pygmy goats in Tennessee. Yeah, that's right. Who said that? Larry the Cable Guy, larry the Cable Guy.
Keith Liberty:He didn't say anything about the picnic goats. I think you made that. I made that up, but it was hilarious. So I think that um realizing that from here on out, every time I do something, I'm gonna be like looking back at it and saying this is my second, this is my fourth, my sixth time doing this. You know, I feel like some of the first or some of the hardest, and um getting through those. You have to give yourself some credit and give yourself some grace for getting through those things. Mm-hmm.
Keith Liberty:For you. You've been getting through those things for 17 years now. Yep yep, as we talk on the podcast and we've been doing this since 2020, july of uh 2020 if you've been listening along, you've heard different episodes, and if you've been listening that long, then you know our story and you realize that there's so many random, strange things that keep us connected. There's so many like common things that we have that they don't always make sense and sometimes they don't connect for 10 years. You know what I mean. Right.
Keith Liberty:But the fact that you lost your grandmother on the exact same calendar date that I lost my dad and to people that don't know, your grandmother was basically your mother, so you lost that parental figure, you know, same day Pretty crazy.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, and later on we found out for the same reason when we talked to Nana. That's true too.
Keith Liberty:I didn't even think about that part of it. Yep, so here we are together November 19th, 2024 is when we're recording this and I think when people reach out or they, you know, check in and see how things are going and they kind of ask you like, what did you do today? And today I wanted to do things that my dad would have done and I wanted to do things that like dad would have done, and I wanted to do things that me and him would have done. So that's kind of what I stuck to for the day. It didn't quite go the way I wanted it to go, because I spent all damn day trying to accomplish one task and in the meantime I broke a bunch of stuff, probably scratched up my tractor and probably almost decapitated myself yeah, it's because you're just like your dad and you do not like to ask for help I don't like getting help but sometimes you have to the flagpole.
Keith Liberty:You've been trying to put up mental help. What's that?
Alli Liberty:the flagpole you've been trying to put up is over 20 feet tall, for god's sakes, and you're trying to stand it up with a tractor. That's what? 10 feet tall the flagpole is.
Keith Liberty:I measured it today. It's like maybe about 28 feet, a 28 foot flagpole, that that my dad put up when I was a kid. I don't remember how old I, but I remember my dad putting this flagpole up and it was just this obnoxious, majestic thing. Right, my dad owned a steel company, a welding company, and he just made this 28-foot flagpole at our house. This is a flagpole that would be big enough to see at like a car dealership, you know what I mean, and we had it on our front yard.
Alli Liberty:Now it's in my horse field.
Keith Liberty:Now it's in the horse pen yeah, horse field. So we used to fly big old American flags off of it and I got to say this brings up a ridiculous story. But there was a time I don't know if I you know, statute of limitations have passed, so I can't be arrested for this and I must confess that I was a jackass when I was in high school. You went to a different high school for a short amount of time, correct, just senior year. Remember all the flags that used to be up, like in the cafeterias and like the gyms.
Keith Liberty:There was like a flag for every country all over the high school I think it was maybe the cafeteria or something. We used to take the flags down and we started this thing. I don't want to get too far off subject here, but it was back in the day of wrestling, when the NWO was really big and.
Keith Liberty:New World Order. We took a couple of flags and we took spray paint and we painted SWO over other nations' flags and the SWO was the senior world order. Okay, jesus Christ, but we used our strengths for good, our evil powers were used for good. And I'll just say this, I'll just give you this story in case I've never told this story on here before.
Alli Liberty:I don't think I've ever heard this story.
Keith Liberty:All right this one's for you then. Nothing to do with my dad. So we were in high school. I was a senior obviously that's the senior world order and I don't remember what the class was that I had but we had this substitute and the sub became like a long-term sub. The teacher we had must have been out for surgery or something, I don't remember the situation, but we ended up having this sub that became like long-term and then like almost permanent. So we had them for months.
Keith Liberty:Right, it was this older guy and he had some health problems. I don't want to get too far off from reality here, but it's like it's. I mean, we're talking 24 years ago now, right, but he had, he had cancer and he was, you know, there was. He had good days and bad where he was just sick, right, and he was just having a tough time and I can't remember there was. I don't remember if he had a wheelchair or an eye patch or something. I can't remember. I'm literally sounding like a total jackass, okay, but what I'm pointing out here is that he was battling and he would have some, he had tough days, but he was a phenomenal guy like I loved him. We had a connection and, um, I was a jackass that didn't try really hard in school and I was sitting up on the uh windowsill just leaning against the windows, looking out doors and not paying attention.
Keith Liberty:And uh, this is one day in class where he was like all right, guys, well, everybody, uh, take your seats. We, we're going to take a test. And I'm just sitting there looking out the window and he's like Keith, you got to take a chair. Man, like we're going to take it. No, no, no test today. He's like bud, you got to sit down. Man, here we go. It's like coaching a little league here we go. Pal, sit down, we're gonna take your test. And I was like, uh, no test today. Cinnamon toast crunch today. It's like what do you what?
Alli Liberty:do you mean what?
Keith Liberty:I was like cereal, we're gonna have cereal today. He's like I don't know what the hell cereal has to do with this in the class and I was like teach, I'm just gonna be honest with you, I'm a little hungry right now. I think it's enough of us that are here that are hungry. You look tired. You're probably hungry. These tests are overrated. You give me a hall pass. I'm gonna go down the street, I'm gonna get milk and cereal and we're all gonna have breakfast. And he's like that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Get, sit down and take your test. Five minutes later I'm still on the windowsill and I was like we're having cereal. And he says come over here and get this damn pass. And he wrote a pass and I went down to like Jakey's Market and we bought milk and cereal and like the whole class had cereal and we just shot the shit the entire time. There was no test.
Alli Liberty:Jesus.
Keith Liberty:But I say all this to set up the fact that this teacher was awesome. He was a great guy and there was some younger classmen, like freshman, sophomore class, that were picking on him and we started to take note to the fact that they were picking on this teacher and it was really bothering him, it was upsetting him. And then you kind of heard rumors of these kids and what they were saying and what they were doing, and I could physically see that it was bothering him, right. So one day I went to him and the class that was making fun of him, that was giving him a hard time, was right after lunch and I said I want you to do me a favor today. And he said what do you, you to do me a favor today? And uh, he's like what do you? What do you mean, do me a favor? And I said I'm going to need you to be 15 minutes late from lunch. And uh, he said why? What do you mean 15 minutes late from lunch?
Keith Liberty:I said I just need your classroom for the first 15 minutes of that next class and uh, he was like I don't know anything about this and I'm like you don't know nothing about it, but you just happen to be late coming back from the cafeteria and he said all right, and he walked off on that day at lunch. After lunch, all the kids went into their class and there was me and, like four of my buddies I remember Steve Clancy's son, chris, being one of them and we took one of these nation's flags. I spray painted swo over and we, we taped it to the chalkboard in the classroom. Before the kids went in there they just said swo and black spray paint.
Keith Liberty:Imagine the nwo days, right, and this is taped to the classroom chalkboard and all these kids are filing in and they just see this taped up on the wall and swo written on the chalkboard. I had some cryptic undertaker speech written on the chalkboard and we're out like in the hallway, kind of, you know, out of out of view, and we let all the kids kind of mingled in and they all come in laughing and joking and they all start to get quiet and you let them sit there for about five minutes. There's no teacher, there's no nothing and the door is shut and then, all of a sudden, I blow the door open oh my gosh.
Keith Liberty:And we come in as a whole crew and clancy's in the background coming in with the nwo and I walked in that classroom and the first desk I see I just flipped it over my head and lost my fucking shit. I started throwing things at the chalkboard. We closed the door. One of my friends held the door shut and the window closed and I just went off and I said you little motherfuckers, if I ever hear any word out of, if I hear anything come out of this room, if if this teacher comes to me and says anything, I will come back here and murder every single one of you. And I just started throwing things around.
Keith Liberty:I picked kids up stuffed into chalkboards. There was people hiding under their desk and we just went off and I said if you ever, if you ever mess with him again, I will beat the living shit out of you. This is a total random story. I don't know where all this came from, but this is what high school was like in my day, which this comes back to the pussification of America. If there was still bullying in high school, we wouldn't be growing these mushes of children who are growing right now.
Alli Liberty:Actually, I hate to break the news to you. Something very similar like that just happened and it was all over the news, and six football players were expelled because that sort of thing was happening, because they were literally it was like senior week or something and they pranks and stuff they were like throwing kids in trash cans and stuff like that, like well, that's just it that's all they were doing.
Alli Liberty:They weren't doing anything like out of the ordinary, like it was senior pranks and they literally threw these kids out of school. They couldn't play in the football game, it was like homecoming or something. They kicked them all off. I don't know if you saw that, but it was up main somewhere and I was like, can we bring back that type of bullying? Get off your fucking computer. And, sorry Matt, type of bullying, get off your fucking computer. And sorry matt, um, like, get off your computer and stop like doing these like threats online, like, bring it back to the days like I'll just meet you out back you just have, like, I'll just meet you in the field under the bleachers at the football, kids and trash cans.
Keith Liberty:My senior year I put a kid in a aluminum trash can and I scissor kicked him down a flight of stairs.
Alli Liberty:You'd be arrested for that sort of stuff nowadays aluminum trash can and I scissor kicked him down a flight of stairs. He'd be arrested for that sort of stuff nowadays.
Keith Liberty:The metal trash can folded around him and he was stuck at the bottom of the stairs trying to get out. I took Clancy's son and put him in a tuxedo. You know the bags, the garment bags. They put like marching band outfits in.
Keith Liberty:I put the whole kid. I put his son in the tuxedo bag and I zipped it all the way up so he was like a body bag, yeah. And I threw him on my shoulder and I walked in like a scene from a police academy and said yamma yamma, yamma yamma, and I walked in a class with like dead body over my shoulder.
Alli Liberty:Oh my god, what is wrong with you?
Keith Liberty:you married this I'm concerned.
Alli Liberty:I did not receive a resume.
Keith Liberty:No, you wouldn't have read it, you wouldn't have accepted it, I wouldn't have given you the real one, I probably would have had some questions, but the point I'm trying to make here is that I was using my strengths for good?
Alli Liberty:I don't think that there was a point to this whole ramble sesh.
Keith Liberty:Well, what I was getting to was the flagpole. So I did actually take the Japanese flag and I thought it was funny to put it on my flagpole here.
Keith Liberty:Oh my God, I can imagine your dad, my grandfather is a veteran who went to Japan and he comes out off of his porch and there's a car in the middle of Proctor Road, on the side of the road, with a dude outside of the car with a big lens camera taking pictures of my flagpole from down the street and my grandfather looks up and sees a Japanese flagpole and he came over here and lost his shit. I can only imagine my dad was freaking out.
Alli Liberty:In your dad's words specifically. And, matt, I apologize, but this is what pops would say, what the fuck is that?
Keith Liberty:oh my god, get that off of my flagpole oh. I got my ass twisted for that one. Oh, I bet, but I put some dumb shit on that flagpole in my life.
Alli Liberty:But your underwear. Did you ever put your underwear up there?
Keith Liberty:not sure. The thing is is that at our house we're extremely patriotic and obviously you know by the company, you know by the last name and we have a multitude of flagpoles. I travel with a flagpole I think it's an 18-foot flagpole. We're telescoping flagpole from B&D Flagpoles, home of the Titan Telescoping Flagpole. Don't forget that Sponsors the show.
Alli Liberty:How come both of our flagpoles I just thought about it are both in my horse arena and my horse pen?
Keith Liberty:We've just built around our situations here. There's two on the there's like a.
Alli Liberty:T-post flagpole back here too. So I think we have a problem.
Keith Liberty:We do have a very big patriotic problem around here. But getting back to what I did today and November 19th and all these things, what's been ironic that I have not really done the math on that I haven't realized is that I've been doing a lot of my dad's things and last year leading up to my dad's death, we basically closed the business. It was between spending time with my dad and working on his projects and, uh, we wanted to do as much as we could, clear as much of his to-do list and um, so he could come home and relax and recover. And that didn't. That didn't go to plan. But we were doing all these outdoor projects for him. And here we are this year doing the exact same thing and some of it has a business reason which we're going to get to on a later show. I'm not ready to announce that part of the plan here, but we've been doing a lot of outdoor projects. A few things have lined up to us doing this. Number one you were pregnant all year, so no opportunity for you to be doing a bunch of these outdoor projects. Then a little one arrives I'm on the road, all of our big events, so a full season worth of farm projects is trying to get completed now Thankfully the weather's been great.
Keith Liberty:We're trying to get completed now. Thankfully thankfully the weather's been great. We're trying to get those completed now before the winter gets here. So we're fixing fences, we're cutting brush, we're you know we're we're mowing fields. We're basically bush hogging. We're doing all kinds of stuff. I've got more miles and hours on a weed whacker. I've got this brush cutting attachment on it. I am out there just mowing acres like a savage with a weed whacker Boy. I get up and whack it from sunrise to sunset. You know what I mean. I'm a whacking fool, good Lord.
Keith Liberty:My dad was also a bit of a hoarder. He hoarded large, heavy objects between trailers and lawnmowers and tractors, but all things steel related. He ran a steel business for 20, 30 years, so there's collections of it everywhere and we've been trying to remove some of those things and it took me a long time to accept even getting rid of things that we would assume are junk, you know, just getting rid of just really anything, because it's been my dad's things. But over the past few weeks we've been cleaning up and doing these things. You and me did three loads of steel and tin and whatever to the junkyard. Yep.
Keith Liberty:That was fun.
Alli Liberty:I liked it, you liked it. Well, we got plenty more to do. I know I thought it was fun. I liked it.
Keith Liberty:You liked it. Well, we got plenty more to do. I know I thought it was fun. We did 1,000 pounds of number one and we did what?
Speaker 4:two trips of 600, 700 pounds of mixed metals and stuff. Mixed white metal is what they call it.
Keith Liberty:So we hauled a bunch. We've been cutting a bunch, cleaning a bunch of things, and when I was cleaning your arena out, um, like the area that we've worked on um for for big boy as kind of like his riding arena, it had been overtaken um by, you know, tall grass and weeds and trees and stumps and all those things, and it's the original fence that me and my dad built on the property. When we had to mad rush to get the horse home, he got got kicked out of the boarding situation that we had organized for him.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, because his tail whooped.
Keith Liberty:Yeah, it wasn't good. There was a couple of males fighting for dominance, he wanted the ladies. That's the truth. We had weeks to get him out so we got a barn and me and my dad went to work on making a pasture for him and I got tennis elbow and carpal tunnel and about killed myself and we blew the tractor up. Literally on that entire time. My dad's tractor stopped working during this and we rented that auger and that's why I? Can't feel my fingers at night anymore.
Alli Liberty:Right, it's true.
Keith Liberty:Well-rounded story, seriously.
Keith Liberty:So over the past week I've been working to just mend no pun intended, mend those fences and, uh, some of them are just they're gonna.
Keith Liberty:It's gonna take a full remake to really get it back to the way me and my dad had it, but, uh, I was able just to kind of patch things up to get it through the winter. And I was working on my dad's fence and two things I found one of his flagpoles. He had a flagpole in that field that had snapped in half and it was on the ground and it was buried in the mud and had been kind of crusted over and grown over. And I dug it out and cleaned it up and was able to salvage that flagpole and to put that back in the ground. And for my dad, I put a brand new Trump flag on it for him, because if there was anybody more happy and proud of the recent election than me, it was my dad. And, uh, I know my godfather, alan spencer, who's up in heaven as well. I guarantee that alan and my dad were watching that election together oh, they had a field day.
Keith Liberty:Big old view high in the sky, and they could not be happier and more thankful. When Trump was announced president, when we stayed up till four in the morning, one of the first things I said to you was like I can only imagine how happy my dad is right now.
Alli Liberty:Yep.
Keith Liberty:So I thought it was fitting that I salvaged one of his flagpoles and I put a Trump flag on it. But one of the days I was out there working on the fence, I had, for whatever reason, it slipped my mind. I don't know what we were doing, but you took my dad's truck. Did you take my dad's truck to work, or something?
Alli Liberty:I can't remember what I was doing. I'm trying to remember.
Keith Liberty:You were gone for a while and you had my dad's truck and I was home working and, for whatever reason, like I totally disconnected from the fact that you had his truck, Like you were gone for a few hours and I was just working and I was thinking about my dad.
Keith Liberty:And I was thinking that the last time I worked on this fence was me and him, and I'm just doing all those things and I could hear something, I could feel something behind me and I turned around and I saw my dad's truck coming down the driveway and I literally said to myself oh, my dad's home. And I turned and I went back to work and he drove by with a truck and there was a moment in my mind when, when I was surprised he didn't stop, because my dad would never drive by me working without stopping, either to yell at me and tell me I wasn't doing it right or to get out and help sigh. It was the first time in a long time that I forgot that. I truly forgot that my dad wasn't here anymore. It was like it hit me all over again. It was like I had this realization that he wasn't here. He wasn't going to be here. It is like I started to grieve all over again and then I started to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that his granddaughter was in the house with his wife and he wasn't here and I couldn't give him those things and I just had a melter out there in the field working.
Keith Liberty:It's one of those things, that I'm a spiritual individual and oftentimes it bothers me that, that I don't get any signs from my dad, that I don't get any messages, any signs from my dad, that I don't get any messages. I find myself beating myself up, questioning whether, now that he has the best seat in the house watching over me, if he's still as proud of me as he was when he was here, when he thought I was as great. But now he can see for himself and maybe now I don't live up to the thoughts that he had and I often think that I'm not as successful as he would have expected me to be. We're not as secure as we should be and, uh, I feel like I don't. I feel like I don't live up to the vision he always had for me. So I feel like I don't get those signs and those connections.
Alli Liberty:So I feel like I don't get those signs and those connections. I don't think that's the case. I think it's more or less the fact that he has an even better view of everything versus half the story, and I think he'd be very proud of where you are today. And I remember, like it was yesterday, the conversation that you and your dad had while we were at the hospital, and what he said was I don't have to worry about you, buck, I don't have to worry about you. With that being said, I don't think that he shows you the messages as crystal clear as you hope for them to be there, but I bet you, if you actually stopped and took some time to look around, there probably is messages that you're just passing by.
Alli Liberty:I watch our daughter have more interactions with him every single day. Or maybe it's him, maybe I mean, I don't know, it could be my mom who knows, but I watch her have those moments and it's those little things. We've talked about it before. Depending on the situation and what is out of the norm, just seeing a penny on the ground could be an indication of a loved one just saying hey, stop and smell the roses, or you're in a rush. The vehicle in front of you just is so slow. It's your, your loved ones, you know, put putting someone there to like stop and smell the roses, like slow down, Like it's. You know not. Messages, excuse me, messages are not always just going to be like, hey, here, it is here. I am Like you, think we just have to be more open to the messages that are being given to us.
Keith Liberty:I just have this, this thing in me where, if I don't get something done, if I can't do it on my own, like I think about all the things that my dad could accomplish by himself like he could he could move a 40 by 40 garage by himself with a rope and PVC pipe like he could do all these things. I spent all day today trying to salvage his big pride and joy flagpole and my cousin came over tonight and we're going to finish it in the morning and figure it out. But I've been staring at this flagpole for years and me and him had a conversation about fixing it and uh. So I was just hell-bent for leather today that, like, this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to do this for him, I'm going to finish this for him, and uh I also think it's important for you to give yourself some grace as well.
Alli Liberty:Like your dad has been working with his hands, probably since like out the womb I mean, look at the leather mitts that he has Like he is old school. So everything that he would do was all you have to do is leverage. That's all you need, just leverage. I can hear him saying it now like no matter what it was, but that's not the lifestyle that you lived. You know what I mean.
Alli Liberty:Like you discovered recently, like within the last I don't know five or seven years, that you enjoyed working with your hands. You were in, you know, when you guys started building that fence and stuff. That's really when, like you would do other things, but like you really started to develop the fact that you enjoy working with your hands and doing those sort of things. Like your dad has 70 years of working with his hands. You know what I mean. So it's like you have to give yourself some grace. You're doing a great job. You're just not getting it done as quickly as you anticipate. And you're also like breaking things along the way. Your dad used to break things every single day if it wasn't breaking something on his body Hence the first aid kit.
Keith Liberty:Every day his body. Hence the first day.
Alli Liberty:Every day too under the christmas tree every year the uh.
Keith Liberty:I guess the struggle for me as of late is like I mean I'm thankful for it, but, like you're, you're back to work. I'm adjusting to, you know, being that stay-at-home dad that's also a work from home business, that also has a small farm, that we're trying to get ready for winter and and you know, eight months worth of chores that haven't been done because we've been on the road or pregnant or doing these things right. And um, I've gotten to this point where you feel like the walls are closing in on you because, like you're just as much as you're trying to get your things done, they're just there's not enough stuff coming off of your list. And um, this time of year when you have like a lot of outdoor things but you're trying to navigate a baby, and if you're like I've got three hours of sunlight where I can physically be allowed to go outside and do something, and if you can't like close that one thing out in those three hours, like it just eats me up and I'm like I always go like at the end of the day, if I've been kicking my own ass around the driveway for, you know, all day and I'm like I didn't get any of that done. I'm always like like my old man would be like what the what the hell are you doing? You know what I mean. Like I just beat myself up when I'm like not crossing all these things off the list and you're just, I don't know, man, it just feels like there's so much stuff that's just closing in.
Keith Liberty:I've I'm the worst friend on the planet right now when it comes to calling people back, when it comes to responding to texts, when it comes to answering messages, as far as the business goes, for the random inquiries that are coming in to me. I'm awful at getting back to those things and doing these things, because I just get into something and then I just get swamped. You know what I mean and I'm looking at it and I'm saying, like you only have so many days outside to get those things done. Those need to be done, and a lot of those things are for the business as well. That's outside. So I don't know, it's just weird, but I'm just like overwhelmed with things.
Keith Liberty:But with all of that said, for the past week a lot of the things I've been hung up on is my dad's things and I've been doing these things subconsciously, like I didn't. You know what I mean. Like I didn't go out there and say, like doing this for my dad, you know what I mean. It's like this has to be done. I'm doing this, I'm working on that and, uh, like I repainted. I was for some reason I had this back of my mind that I was like the gate at the end of our driveway that my dad built 20 years ago. I was like hell bent that like I gotta paint that thing. It looks like shit. I gotta paint that thing. I painted it, I cleaned it up, I put new lights out there. I redid all that stuff. I'm like repainting his mailboxes, like where I'm fixing his fence, I'm cleaning his things, we're hauling his junk. And then it just hit me where I was like son of a bitch like he's the one making me do this.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, of course he wants you to remember him in a different, in a different way, and he wants you to to celebrate. He wants you to celebrate his memory and you know, live on. So he's encouraging you and those alone are. Are him communicating with you? Are messages like you may not think about it, but that's his. Are him communicating with you? Are messages Like you may not think about it, but that's his way of communicating to you. You know what I mean. Like you just have to be open to those messages because why else would you think about, randomly though, doing those sort of things?
Keith Liberty:Well, that's what I'm saying, Like I didn't know how I would react to November 19th and I didn't do the math and like look at the calendar and realize like wow, for a week you've been doing everything that your dad would want to do yeah you've been doing all these things that he religiously tried to do before the winter and you're also doing things on the list that he like the flagpole today.
Keith Liberty:I've been so bent out of shape about fixing this flagpole since my dad was sick Like I wanted him to come home and do it being fixed.
Keith Liberty:So just thinking about like all those things and then realizing like, oh wow, in three days or next week or tomorrow, it's been 365 days and that's when, like you realize, when I saw you in his truck and I made that connection, and you start thinking about what you've been doing and where your intentions have been, and you realize like I'm doing these things for myself too, but ultimately it's like no, my dad's telling me to do this. Yep, I guess that's been the um, the crazy thing about this whole process up until like like the past week, up until his uh, you know, anniversary, just to think like wow, I've been really just working on shit for him this entire time and I've been doing it for a month, but like heavily over the past week or so in between, like weddings we're doing and things like that. Right.
Keith Liberty:So, as much as I subconsciously have been focusing on this random to-do list that my dad's established in my mind that I need to spend every waking hour that I possibly can working on when I'm not confined to you know, a couch with the little one, I just can't help but think about how much more difficult my life would be. I can't help but think about how hard I'd be struggling right now If it wasn't for Paisley. You're allowed to talk here.
Alli Liberty:I'm just watching her sleep. She's so peaceful. I too am very thankful for her. She's helped all of us kind of get through these difficult couple of months leading up to, you know, the holidays and today and you know all the things. She's been a true blessing. We thought that this was your dad and you know the reaction of her, like looking over our shoulder and laughing and smiling and just gooing, like I truly believe that he has sent her to us. I think that we have tons of loved ones up there that had the opportunity to meet her before we did, but I truly believe that your dad sent her to us.
Keith Liberty:I do.
Alli Liberty:Um, I think that, um, to think like we were talking about a dinner tonight, like just to think how your dad would react to her, and he, he would be head over heels, he, he would complain that he wouldn't get anything done around here because he would be staring at her the whole time or uh just infatuated with her. But I think that he had the opportunity to uh to hang out with her and bond with her and do all the things before we got to. I think that he definitely sent her here.
Keith Liberty:It's crazy. My mom took the day off from work today and you were going to work and today was, you know, one of the days that it would be me and Paisley's day. And I called my mom and she came over and I was getting some breakfast ready for us and I gave the baby to my mom and I was just standing over there and I looked over at my mom and she's holding Paisley and they're both smiling and my mom and she's holding Paige and they're both smiling and I looked over and I said did you ever, did you ever imagine this Like?
Keith Liberty:did you ever imagine having you know my grandkid? And she said no, not in a million years. I thought that I was only going to have you know four-legged grandkids with you.
Alli Liberty:I remember your mom telling your dad that a couple years ago your dad kept pushing and asking and I remember your mom having a conversation with us. I think all of us went out to get coffee or something and your mom said that to us Like oh, your dad was asking about kids again and I told him we got fur babies and that's it, that's all you're going to get. And he wasn't taking that for an answer. He was like nope, nope, not going to happen. I remember them having that conversation. I remember them having that conversation.
Keith Liberty:It's so wild to me to think about the difference in our life Like it's unimaginable. You know what I mean. Like one year ago we were saying goodbye to my dad. A year later we're at his favorite restaurant with my mom and you and his granddaughter.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, the last time we were at that restaurant was celebrating his birthday and I had just told you guys that we were pregnant.
Keith Liberty:We sat at the exact same table.
Alli Liberty:Yep, we sat at that same table when we celebrated his birthday and went there for dinner, right in front of the fireplace yep, I can't believe all that's happened in a year like I.
Keith Liberty:Just I can't believe it. I don't know. I've always said that when you sprinkle time and distance on it, it all makes sense and you're never going to make sense of losing a loved one. But this journey in a year, when you sit back and you look and I see my little daughter and I think about All that I grew through and grown through with my dad and that journey and everything and to think and the lessons, it just all makes sense, you know. Mm-hmm.
Alli Liberty:It makes even more sense when you look back and you know it was a year ago, maybe with a few days. Your dad was having conversations with us about his grandchildren, his grandchild. We didn't know what that meant. We're like what are you talking about? Like your grandchildren aren't here, but what he was talking about was our child. Like they say, when they know they're on their way out, they start the transition process, and so it's crazy to think that he was talking about her. She wants to talk about it it's uh, I don't know.
Keith Liberty:it's crazy that now that we sprinkle some time and distance on it and we always talked about how we thought my dad was sending us a boy because he kept talking about a grandson, and we were going to name our son after my dad in a roundabout way by naming him Carter and all these things, and we were so hyper-focused on a boy it's crazy to look back and think about that, to sprinkle the time and distance on it, because I wouldn't, change anything.
Alli Liberty:She's the absolute, most perfect girl ever I wouldn't either, and I was scared half to death to have a girl. Yeah. Scared half to death. I didn't want any business of it, but I think there's. I mean he didn't want us to have a boy yet.
Keith Liberty:You know, I think that I don't think we were ready for it. There's so many things that line up, I think, for you with losing your mother and then struggling with your biological mother, and those things. I think that having the opportunity to right those wrongs, or to mend those fences or whatever that.
Keith Liberty:However you look at that, like that struggle that you've had, you know, losing your, the one you considered, your mother, at such a young age, not having that opportunity to be able to recreate those opportunities and traditions but also right the wrongs of a biological mother, and the struggles that you went through I think it was critical for you to have a daughter and originally I thought that maybe we were having a daughter because this was really for you. Like you needed this, you know what I mean. Like this was part of your healing and that I thought that you know, maybe your mother and like your meme and stuff were pushing for the fact that, like this is what you need and, uh, my dad would be the one to be like, all right, and if I send a boy on the first one, he's not going to try again. We'll figure this out. So I always kind of chalked it up as, like this was so good for you and I knew it was going to be a challenge for you because you were scared of the fact that it was a little girl.
Keith Liberty:But the thing that I've heard from so many dads out there is that little girls become extremely attached to their dads and, like that bond has already started. I think that with you going to work and me taking care of her during the day, there's already like we've had. Literally a month ago, we had conversations on here where I just was struggling with the bond. I was struggling with the fact that, like I couldn't do anything, I was never good enough, I wasn't sufficient. Do anything.
Keith Liberty:I was never good enough, I wasn't sufficient and you know, just sharing those journeys and struggles for dads that are out there, where you're just like, you're just the you know, you're just the wipe the ass and feed the mouth guy. You know what I mean. Like you don't get the like the joy and excitement that mom gets you know what I mean or grandma gets you know. That's completely different now, because now there's those things that's like there's times when there's nobody in the room that's gonna fix this.
Speaker 4:But dad, I need dad, you know what I mean or like those mornings where she's just happy.
Keith Liberty:She's happy now to see all of us. You know what I mean which is nice. But like, uh, there's been a definite shift there and I'm starting to realize that you know, little girls do love their dads and, like you, just start thinking about that and you're like I think a little girl made so much more sense for our scenario than we knew you know what I mean, right.
Keith Liberty:I don't, don't ask me that in 15 years you know that'd be totally different. But and the other side of it is that over the past month we've done two weddings and we've done two special weddings and and uh the uh, father daughter dances at weddings and and seeing that it hits different, it feels oh god, I have to look away.
Alli Liberty:I can't even like listening to some of the songs. Like I get choked up and I'm just like because I know one day, like I'll be looking at you guys having that moment and I'm just like I'm done it's crazy, you're gonna be a nun. You're not getting married, miss ma'am I've.
Keith Liberty:I've already thought this through multiple times in my head. I don't know if I just wake up and think about it, or if it happens during a father-daughter day outside a wedding or just when I'm randomly driving, but I've already thought of the fact that someday, when she's dating and that boy comes to the house, and if it's something that seems remotely serious, I'm going to assume that he's a good fella.
Alli Liberty:Probably a cowboy Right. He better be.
Keith Liberty:He's got to have his mentals and his dentals right. You know what I?
Keith Liberty:mean he's going to be a surefire gentleman and all those things and he's going to be a smart individual. And I'm going to have that conversation with him that says you seem like a real smart young fella and I'm going to give to you the most important and smart advice that you're going to receive in the rest of your life, and that is if you ever hurt my fucking daughter you will get the rest of your meals through a straw and you will pay somebody to wipe your ass. You know.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, that sounds great. Want to know my words of advice. Sure. I look good in orange and I will smile in my mugshot. I like that. That's pretty good. Orange is in my color palette.
Keith Liberty:I wear it regularly okay, I want to make sure that and I will smile in my mugshot. When I deliver the speech I'm going to be. These bear claws are going to be latched, so, vice, grip tight, and I'm going to pull that young individual about four and a half centimeters from my face and deliver that advice I think, I think what you should do is you should whisper it that's really intense, yeah most important advice you're going to get your entire life?
Alli Liberty:I don't think yeah, that's pretty great. I think that's probably better than you know. Cleaning your guns on the table, yeah.
Keith Liberty:I mean, I'm not going to shoot you, I'm going to physically main you, I'm going to hurt you.
Alli Liberty:I want to see you struggle for the rest of your life.
Keith Liberty:If I shoot you, you're dead.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, unless I just go for the white meat.
Keith Liberty:If I shoot you, I can't feel things snapping.
Alli Liberty:You know, oh my God, that's violent, hey, that's psychopath.
Keith Liberty:My dad's motto with me his entire life was to protect me and to protect me at all costs. So whoever comes around my little daughter, better sign a goddamn waiver.
Alli Liberty:Are you going to have waivers?
Keith Liberty:Maybe A liability waiver. I don't know.
Alli Liberty:Hey, you know, what you could always do is you could make a a waiver for the White Horse Ranch.
Keith Liberty:Yeah, as soon as you step on the property. That's what I'll use that other mailbox for. There you go, people come over stop at the end of the fence there and sign the waiver. Put it back in the mailbox, then you can proceed you're gonna be like for what?
Alli Liberty:oh, it's just, it's just a liability. Yeah, there's still liability waiver. We have, we have horses horses and angry parrots.
Keith Liberty:It is what, what it is.
Alli Liberty:No, just use the animals, because if something happens, you already signed the waiver, that's true.
Keith Liberty:He was trampled by a horse, that's right. Why are there all these fingerprints all over him?
Alli Liberty:I was trying to put him back together.
Keith Liberty:I had to get the horse off him. I thought he was Mr Potato Head. I was trying to put him back together.
Alli Liberty:I had to get the horse off of him. He was going to kill him.
Keith Liberty:I don't know what happened. I don't know what got into him. He looked like a carrot.
Alli Liberty:Listen if he's too bad.
Keith Liberty:I'll just put a carrot costume on him and throw him out in the field.
Alli Liberty:If he's too bad, we'll just shave him from head to toe and give him to Winston.
Keith Liberty:Listen, by the time she dates, I don't think Winston's going to be around.
Alli Liberty:Well, he might have another one.
Keith Liberty:Yeah, winston number seven.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know, when I opened the Winston to the second power there you go.
Keith Liberty:When I opened the whole pack of Winstons Love, a carton of Winstons when I opened the show I had mentioned that 228 episodes is extremely difficult. There's times when you don't want to record, and sometimes you don't want to record because the subject you know, when sometimes you don't want to record because you're just exhausted and you know and you, you're just, you have these deadlines and these things you're trying to do and there's all these reasons for why you don't want to record. But today I also remembered the reasons why you always want to record and the reasons why you want to keep things going, Because today I took my dad's truck and I, first off, I put my mom in the truck and the baby in grandpa's truck and we drove around and we went to Dunkin' Donuts and we went to Home Depot and we did all those things that Papa would have done. And we came home and I backed that truck up to the horse fence and I went to work on the flagpole and I spent the whole day in the field with the horse working and doing things and I dipped into the moonshine and there might have been some time when I sat on the tailgate and drank a bush and watched a flagpole's paint job dry. But during those few hours I was able to go on Spotify. This time around, I used you can use anything. You can go right on Google. You can go on our website, sharethetirclepodcastcom. You can go on Apple iTunes or Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts. You can ask Amazon Alexa, whatever you want to do, but our podcast all 228 episodes are always there. It lives on.
Keith Liberty:In honor of my father, I went back and I listened to the episode that we recorded right after this day. I went back and listened to the episode we recorded after my father died and it brought back all the memories and all the emotions and, as difficult as those things were, I really remembered things so much more clearly. Like I there was this there's a storybook, there's a storybook of my life. There's a. There's a, a freaking audio book of our struggles. I was able to go back and relive those days, as difficult as those days were. But I also remembered those conversations and I remembered those positive conversations and I remember that one night, when we were walking out of the hospital room just a couple days before my dad passed, and I felt him staring at me and I was the last one out the door and I was like, and I heard my dad say I love you and I couldn't let him be the last one. So I turned around and went back to his room and I hugged him and I told him that I loved him when I was listening to that story today, one of the most important things about that story was that I apologized. I apologized to my dad and I said that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never gave you a grandkid and I said if I ever have a son of my own, I hope that I'm as half as good of a father as you've been to me. And he kept telling me that you made it easy and and he had said it's all in what you make it. And my dad held me like a child, Just kept patting my back and saying you're the best boy. Just kept patting my back and saying you're the best boy.
Keith Liberty:Without this podcast, without that vulnerability, without me one year ago turning on a microphone and bawling my eyes out and sharing that story, I might not remember that story today and that story hits. And that story hits so much more differently sitting here with my daughter. What a difference a year makes. A year ago, apologizing to my dad and praying that I can someday be as good of a father as he is. When you sprinkle time and distance on it, it all makes sense, man. That's what I love about the podcast, that's what I love about this show and that's what I love about the fact that we're creating a storybook for my daughter to someday listen to, to go back to and to maybe learn some embarrassing stories about her dad and some vocabulary that's not safe for work. But to know those things and to hear those stories and legacies. I think that that's invaluable. And it just goes to even further that when I also took the time today to listen to my dad's entire service Because we were bold enough to record the speech, we were bold enough to record my dad's full ceremony and then put it out for everybody to listen to I listened to all those stories and I got to say that while I was out there working I even laughed today and I cried today.
Keith Liberty:But it was so heartwarming and fulfilling today because even during my dad's ceremony like to hear the laughter in the room, like the excitement in the room. It's crazy when you're focusing on audio and you're listening to something, I could tell you certain laughs in the room. I knew who they were. I could hear Derek Downs laugh. Every time he laughed. I could hear my uncle's little way of going and agreeing with things I was saying. I could hear you. I could hear my mother. I could pick out certain voices and laughs and things that I knew and it brought me back to that day and I'll always have that and I'll always have that day and people always have the stories and the memories and the legacy of my father Because of this podcast and that's why we continue to record and that's why we're doing another night, late night, sitting on a couch crying our eyes out when we all have things to do in the morning.
Keith Liberty:But this is what our life's about. It's crazy, it's ridiculous, but if we're willing to share it, then there's some strength and some inspiration for other people to take and apply to their own lives. I I truly, truly feel that's why we do this. What are you going to say for yourself?
Alli Liberty:I, I think that it's going to be, one day, really awesome for Paisley to be able to listen back to them and be able to figure out how much of our lives is a shit show. No, I'm just kidding. I think it's going to be really cool because I mean I wish that I could like hear my mom's voice. You know what I mean. Like that alone would just like. I have memories of like what she sounds like. But like you know, like some people say they like call people's voicemails like after they've gone. Like nowadays, like the phone company just takes your number and recycles it and uses it Like.
Alli Liberty:I have voicemails saved on my phone of Meme like telling, like telling me that she loves me and hi, sweet girl, like, like, and I listen to it like or like sometimes I'll accidentally hit it as I'm like because I just leave it there and like it just like catches me off guard. So it's like it's really cool to be able to like hear my ma's voice every once in a while. You know what I mean Like just out of nowhere, like watching old videos, and but you know, for her one day to be able to like listen back to our stories and and also hear us like real, raw and live. I mean, that's how our goal to raising her is being just that like real, raw and honest. And I think that having the opportunity for her to listen to us doing that and raising her that way like she's, I mean, yeah, sure she's going to hear some colorful language, but like she's, I mean, yeah, sure she's gonna hear some colorful language, but like she's gonna hear that on the regular.
Keith Liberty:We this is us probably gonna fast forward through some sexual conversations on some of these, but it's the motivation to um keep on going with these for me because, like I thought about it today when I was thinking like man, what I wouldn't give to be able to throw some headphones in and listen to two hours of my dad sharing stories you know what I mean and, uh, no matter what the struggle is and what the cost is to continue to do this and the commitment is to do this I think that the legacy and the tradition and the history that we're building for her, I think is it's just something that you can't replace, that not every kid's gonna have, and it's crazy how some of the meanings and the um reasons for these shows kind of ebb and flow and evolve, but, um, she's really become part of the reason for the show, you know, and I think that it'll be good for her to go back and hear how we struggled and how we got through things, because she's going to struggle and she's going to have to go through things and right now she's perfect and there's no concerns in the world and there's nothing to worry about, you know, other than where my next bottle is coming from.
Keith Liberty:But at some point this cruel world is going to hit her with some reality and she's going to go through some shit and as she gets older, to be able to go back and listen to the things that we went through, I think it's going to give her the courage to stand up and to get through those things and ultimately that's what we want for everybody that listens to this show is to learn that, like, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, you know we all go through some shit, no matter what race you are, what color you are, what religion you believe, no matter what goals you want to achieve, we all struggle.
Keith Liberty:Everybody goes through shit. But the truth is, if you're willing to share your shit, then we can all grow from it is, if you're willing to share your shit, then we can all grow from it. And today we were able to share more about my dad and what it's like to face the first year of losing someone, and for us just happened to be an extremely dramatic year, because not only did we lose someone, but we welcome someone, and I'm so thankful we did, because I don't know who and where I'd be without her already you know yep, for sure.
Keith Liberty:I feel like we really weren't even beginning the grieving process before we found out that we were going to be parents not.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, I mean slightly. We were grieving for sure, but not for me.
Keith Liberty:But I mean like I wasn't healing, I was, I didn't, I was numb to it and a lot of it was like I wanted to make sure you, my mom was okay and the house was okay and I wasn't accepting anything.
Alli Liberty:You know right and um I think your mom and I we were definitely in the mix of healing and processing and that sort of thing. But you're right, you were basically just like stomaching everything and setting it aside.
Keith Liberty:I. Just when we found out that we were going to be parents. It was like we're losing someone, but the hope and excitement of welcoming someone helped us to get through that loss. Like I don't know how we get through that loss. Like I don't know, how we get through the loss of my father. Because of the time spent in the hole that was left in the void for all of us, I don't know how we would have done it.
Alli Liberty:Yeah, I think the focus during that first year was, you know, like planning the baby shower, being on the road, like you know, constantly checking in, like how I'm feeling and you know, getting things ready for the baby to come, like I mean that wasn't the main focus of the of the year, but like we would go shopping and like buy things.
Keith Liberty:You know what I mean for the baby, so I think that that helped I think it was always a welcomed, pleasant distraction when the world became too much right when all the things going around us. We all know the crazy things that we've gone through the business like that. You know just the ups and flows of the business and trying to navigate those things and being on the road and you being pregnant. But there was, like always, that like pleasant distraction, like let's go, do this for the baby let's get this for the baby.
Keith Liberty:Baby. Like when you start feeling sorry for yourself with you know, the loss of my father and the loss of Meme and those things, then you're like, let's distract myself with this for the baby. You just I just feel like it helped us get through so much. And then her arriving and you know, like I don't know how my mom gets through today without the time she had with with her today you know, yeah and uh.
Keith Liberty:The fact that every time me and my mom were driving around and started to get emotional, like she would just make a noise and smile and you look over at her and she's just just beaming, you know, and uh, the world just has a crazy way of working out, you know, just has a crazy way of always working out, and I don't know what else to say about it, you know, but I just can't believe that one year ago I was facing life without my dad and now I'm on a couch with my two month old daughter. I don't, I don't know what planet I'm from, dude, it's crazy. That's really crazy.
Keith Liberty:Well, I hope that, uh, something came out of today for someone. If you are one of those someone's and you enjoyed the show today, please subscribe. Help grow the tribe. You enjoyed the show today? Please subscribe. Help grow the tribe. Share the show with someone you know. We appreciate you, we love you, we thank you. We got some more exciting things coming on the horizon, but today was all about remembering my dad and acknowledging the presence of this beautiful little miracle we have that's changed our lives all for the better. So until then, until the next time, thank you for supporting our American dream now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage that's it and that's all.
Keith Liberty:Biggie Smalls, if you're a Loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more find me on YouTube and Facebook at Loud Proud American, or the Face page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, you want to find me on Instagram. Or all the kids are tickety-talking on the TikTok. You can find me on both of those. At Loud underscore Pr. Proud underscore American. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song for this year's podcast.
Keith Liberty:If you are enjoying what you're hearing. You can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook Just search Gut Truckers. Give them motherfuckers, a like too.
Keith Liberty:I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.