Share The Struggle
Share The Struggle
Christmas and The Importance Of Being Present 231
As much as we may enjoy it Christmas is not about getting presents, Christmas is not about giving presents it's about being present. It's meaningful moments of presence that truly matter—especially during the holiday season. Join me as we outline the unknown benefits of being present and how it can help you navigate difficult times. Sharing the anniversary of my father's eulogy, where I learned the importance of being present, even amidst chaos. Sharing a day immersed in hard labor I felt a connection to my father's spirit and his teachings on presence, discovering solace and strength in work that he would have admired.
The episode transforms into a tribute to presence as a tool for emotional resilience, where mindfulness becomes a path to improving mental health and deepening connections. From humorous family anecdotes to thoughtful reflections on self-awareness, I invite you to embrace the power of being in the moment. This holiday season, shift your focus from material gifts to the invaluable gift of presence, and find joy and strength in every moment—no matter how challenging.
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As much as we may enjoy it. Christmas is not about getting presents. Christmas is not about giving presents, If you ask me. It's truly about being present. Today, we outline the unknown benefits of being present on episode 231 of Share, the Struggle podcast. Let me tell you something Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
Speaker 2:If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they, they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be Back on time. We can back off the whole day gone, we'll be fine.
Speaker 1:Oh, what a do do do, hot diggity, damn. I'm so excited to be back with you. Oh, it's true. Oh, it's true, it is damn true. Hot diggity, damn. Episode 231. The fun has just begun. Two, three, one. If you don't already know, then you should know that that means we have been recording episodes of Share the Struggle podcast for 231 consecutive weeks. That, right there, folks, that is called a winning streak. And man do I love winning. I mean America, right, that's what we do. We love to win.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be honest, y'all, let's get today's show going with a little sidebar podcast confessional. I'm going to grab my Cabela's catalog right here, left hand on the catalog, beady little eyes to the sky. The truth from the sky Winning doesn't come easy. I don't know if that's a shocker for anybody. Let me just kind of peel the layer of the onion a little bit. Let's state the obvious Winning obviously doesn't come easy. But does anybody listening feel like winning comes a little bit more difficult for others? Boy, I've been on this streak of even the good things just are difficult and even the difficult things are another degree of difficult. Does that make sense? You guys have been in that rut where, hey, you're believing and achieving and you're accomplishing things, but just little nonsense, ridiculous things. Are these obstacles that are in the way, right? Let me just give a classic example Last week's episode we made an announcement that we're advancing the brand, we're taking another step and that we actually are purchasing a building for the business to expand the business and have storage and all these different options. Right? So the scheduled delivery for said building is tomorrow. Okay, now let me peel the onion.
Speaker 1:So I ordered some gravel. I've been working on this site, on our land, to put this building starting last year because I've been anticipating working towards this goal. So I actually purchased some gravel from some good friends of mine, the Ruck family. They came over to drop off some gravel. I spread it out, decided I needed a little bit more. So Wade came over with another load of gravel and I had some projects to do working on some custom orders, trying to get some you know Christmas stuff up on the site, doing whatever I can to, you know, make as much as I possibly can during the holiday season before things kind of dry up. So I had to delegate my time a little bit so that gravel had to sit for a couple of days. And then my intentions were on Sunday I would go ahead and spread out said gravel, and on Saturday I had to DJ a Christmas party for Arundel Ford and I was at a local golf course I don't know what little event center and did their Christmas party. Came home, everything was great.
Speaker 1:The next morning I wake up and it's like holy shit, it snowed. Last night I didn't know it was gonna snow. And then there's a bunch of snow on the ground and I go outside and I could no longer see that spot of land. I shovel it but there's no sun, it's overcast. So I can't spread the dirt.
Speaker 1:On Sunday, because I can't really see where everything needs to go, and I decide well, I'm gonna have to do that, uh, on Monday. Right, so Monday comes around, I get out there to start doing this and, uh, now my pile is frozen solid. Thankfully I have a backhoe on my tractor, so I have the bucket out and I'm clawing and digging and trying to break things up and defrost this sucker and smooth it out enough to be able to spread it out. But it's frozen, it's lumpy, it's difficult, as all get up to try to make a smooth, level surface. It's not level anymore. But I couldn't level things out because some of the ground had frozen so much in areas that I can't knock it down and I don't really want to spend another $300, let's say on more gravel for this building.
Speaker 1:As I'm doing this, I already have, give or take, 600 bucks in the dirt. I've got a load of lumber sitting on my dad's truck right now, and that's just the beginning of all the things that you know are going to go into this build. So I'm trying to just make this one and done, right, I'm trying to get this straight. But everything is so lumpy and crunchy and hard and yeah. So nothing goes easy, right, nothing goes smooth, no pun intended, as I'm trying to smooth out the gravel here.
Speaker 1:And then we get another storm last night, big old snowstorm, I'd say nothing crazy. I mean, I don't want to exaggerate when I say big old snowstorm, but there's a good four, maybe five inches right now and the building's supposed to be here tomorrow. And then now they're calling for high wind power outages, freezing rain that whole scenario for tomorrow and I can't see the land that this building is going to go on. So they reach out to me and they cancel the delivery, which is fine, right, I'm okay with that. But what I would say if I had known that I wouldn't have tried to spread said frozen dirt because we have 60 degrees and rain coming, I feel like sometimes I just have to go outside and smash my freaking head into the side of a wall for a good seven or eight hours just to accomplish the most basic things.
Speaker 1:What I had to do should have been two hours on a Sunday with a coffee, just enjoying myself, living the dream. Instead, it was about seven and a half eight hours, freezing my ass off, yelling, screaming, bitching, complaining, throwing things and doing my best just to complete things, only to find out yeah, you got another week to do it, building won't be here for another week and oh, yeah, the warm weather it's right behind it. Should have waited. That's what I get for trying to be proactive. Oh, that's what I mean by things. Even when they're going right, there's a touch of difficult, okay. Even when things are going oh so smooth, there's a touch of difficulty. Now, here's the ironic thing, as I'm explaining to you my day, my previous day, my yesterday, my stressful, angry, frozen yesterday Okay, my stressful, angry, frozen yesterday, okay.
Speaker 1:And now, as I'm explaining this to you and I begin to connect the dots with the opening of today's show, the main message of today's show being present. I'm here having to practice what I preach. I am here realizing I could have used a big old dose of being present, and I'm here recording now, realizing I got a lesson on being present yesterday and it's only coming to me right now. That's the funny thing about Share the Struggle podcast. We come into this thing with some intentions. We turn the microphone on, we open ourselves up, we bare our souls, we share our struggle and we often educate ourselves, we enlighten ourselves, we motivate ourselves and we often call out ourselves. So that's where we're headed today. Let me go ahead and explain this for you.
Speaker 1:So at the time I'm recording this episode of the podcast, it is December 10th. That, by the art of a calendar, would make my day of struggle December 9th. The significance in December 9th is that one year previous, 365 days previous, on December 9th 2023, I was giving my father's eulogy. On December 9th, I was standing up in front of friends and family and honoring my hero, my dad. If you're interested, I feel it is the greatest speech I have ever written, the greatest tribute I have ever paid and thankfully, I recorded it and you can find it in the archives of Share the Struggle podcast If you go back to episode 179, I actually recorded the entire service from my dad's day of service.
Speaker 1:So one year later, one crazy year later, you think about if I go back to December 9th 2023, and all the difficulty that went into number one. Think about all the emotions, you know, the experience, all those things. I'm not going to go down that road right now. That's not the subject for today. I don't want to bring up all the emotions, but if you can envision the heartache and the struggle in and out of the hospital, all those things having to say goodbye to my hero, all those emotions. We just talked about those things recently as the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing has just come and gone. We are now at the one-year anniversary of giving that speech.
Speaker 1:Now, the crazy thing about that speech and I've said this before is that I make reference during that speech about not making my dad a grandfather, not giving him a grandchild. What's incredibly amazing and astonishing is that I made that speech and then, one year later, I'm at home on the couch with his granddaughter. It is so crazy what can happen in this life. It is so crazy how much things change in this life. So, as I'm talking to you about my day of struggle, I'm outside just smashing my head against a pile of frozen dirt. One funny moment in this is I went inside, had a little vent session with my mother and I grabbed a snack. And I went back out to re-approach the situation and my mom said well, your dad would have done this the same way. He would have been bitching and moaning. The only difference is he would have been in here blaming all of us.
Speaker 1:And I said well, yeah if this was my dad, he would have said you know what, if I didn't spend all day Saturday with the three of you running around gallivanting, I would have got my shit done. But instead, a two-hour job on a Saturday enjoying myself is now going to be a 10-hour job on Monday, beating the crap out of myself. And my mom said it's exactly what he would have said. I mean, he would have swore quite a bit more than me, but that's the truth. So here's the thing Now. I've had intentions of doing things for these important anniversary dates for my dad. I had intentions of getting tattoos family tattoos on the one-year anniversary of his passing, and I had intentions of going to the Eagles Club where we had a celebration of life on the anniversary of his service. I didn't get a chance to do those things. Now, on the anniversary of his passing, we all did go out to eat and I've already kind of told you guys that story but I had intentions of going to the Eagles and having a beer with my mom and kind of taking the opportunity to reflect on all that has changed. But that didn't happen either. And you know, my Monday didn't go the way I wanted it to go. But the ironic thing here is, as I'm sitting here now with a microphone in my face, I'm realizing it went the way my dad would have wanted it to go Now. He would have wished me to have my project be a little bit smoother, but he got a great deal of humor and enjoyment out of me struggling, but stepping back and finding a way to re-approach a situation, make the best of it and get the job done, to learn from my failures and my mistakes and to get the job done. So here's the thing.
Speaker 1:The more I think about this, I realize that yesterday I wanted to make a bigger deal of things. I wanted to share my dad's anniversary episode from the podcast. I wanted to make a post, I wanted to go spend some time at the Eagles with my mother and to take that break. But ironically, that's not what my dad wanted. My dad wanted me to do a couple of things. He wanted me to be outside. He wanted me to work. He wanted me to struggle, he wanted me to come to the brink of giving up and to overcome and to figure it out. And he wanted me to not sit in my feelings. He wanted me to not wallow in my emotions. He wanted me to not sit at a bar and cry and think about his memory. He wanted me to live and he wanted me to be present. What my dad forced me to do was spend all day outside on a tractor working, something that my dad would have wholeheartedly, absolutely, undeniably loved to do.
Speaker 1:I made the decision to purchase my tractor when my dad was laying in a hospital bed at Maine Medical Partners or Maine Health or whatever you want to call it. It was the major hospital in Portland. I made that purchase and I was so hopeful that when my dad got healthy and he was released from the hospital, when he got home, he would have seen all the projects that we accomplished, all the things that we had gotten done, and he would have said how the hell did you get this done? And then he would have saw me come rolling out with a brand new tractor and he would have been so proud and he would have been so happy. He also would have yelled at me for making sure that I can afford said purchase, but he would have been so proud and he would have been so happy. Me and my dad had been doing things by hand for a long time. My driveway's 300 plus feet long and previous to buying my tractor, we had blown up our plow truck and I spent a good two years shoveling that driveway by hand. My dad would have been so proud. I was disappointed in the fact that I never told him that I bought that tractor. I wanted it to be a surprise. And he never learned of that surprise and he never heard of that surprise and he never got to see it, to feel it, to experience it, to ride it, to use it. So on his day, on his anniversary, as I'm sitting here now Recording and being present, I'm realizing Yesterday he spent all day on that tractor. He was with me, by my side, cussing up a storm, throwing a fit Big old shit, fit, with a big ass grin, happy as can be.
Speaker 1:And you know how my night finished I was so frozen, I was so beat, I was so tired. I actually went inside. I had dinner with the family. I sat down on my mom's couch and I was like with my little baby girl in my hands and we both passed out on my mom's couch, my little girl with her head on my heart, both of us fast asleep.
Speaker 1:When I woke up, I headed home with the wife and, uh, I sat on the couch with the family and everybody was snuggling up and I was doing some work on my computer and um watching a football game. And there was a time when, um, I got up at the end of the game and I just stood there and I watched. I watched my little girl, paisley Rain, fast asleep in the arms of my wife and I envisioned for a minute that's probably the view that my wife and my mother had just a few short hours ago. So I stopped there and I watched and I was present. I counted my blessings. I was beyond thankful, incredibly grateful. I stopped for a minute. I went and found my phone and I took it out to take a picture, to capture and remember that moment, so that in those days and times of high stress, you stop and be present in that moment.
Speaker 1:I think I was too tired to process the fact that this is what life is about. This is what it's all about being present, because in that moment I forgot being cold. I forgot about my whole day smashing my head into a pile of dirt. None of that mattered. What was important was right in front of me. As I'm here recording with tears streaming down my face. I realize that yet again, my father delivered me a message that is oh so important to me. He delivered me another message that is wise advice to live by, be present, slow down and be present. So the fact that I went into yesterday, december 9th, with all the intentions of the world of honoring my dad which would have probably resulted in me crying my eyes out into my beer, reminiscing, sharing stories, laughter and tears that's not what my dad wanted me to do. He wanted me to work, he wanted me to get out there and to just be active and to get things done. It's funny.
Speaker 1:I got a message from my wife during this whole meltdown I was having on Monday where she said I'm so proud of you with everything and I was like, well, I wish things were going a little bit smoother. And then I explained to her what was happening and she did a couple of things. Number one, she threw some of my advice right back in my face. And then, number two, she built me up and I'm going to break the um, the bond here, the secrecy bond of text messaging, and I'm going to read to you what my wife sent to me yesterday when she said you've got to be more positive. Good vibes in, good vibes out.
Speaker 1:You have a building coming because you outgrew your workspace. That's amazing. You have a tractor to help you move dirt for the building and not a shovel, I get, you have spread the dirt. If you knew it was going to snow, but we didn't know. So now we have to do what we can. Everything will all work out. The glass is half full full, not half empty.
Speaker 1:In that moment I might not have wanted to hear all that, but she was absolutely 1000 correct. God, I heard her say that. Oh, she's gonna rub that in my face. Here's the thing. I'm gonna break down her message here being present, being grateful. I'm out there doing what I'm doing, not because I'm working on something that's broken. I'm making improvements because we have achieved a milestone. We have outgrown our space, our business is growing that's a major thing and we have a beautiful building on its way. Also, I'm spreading that dirt with a tractor a brand new tractor that I bought last year, instead of a shovel, which is the way I was doing it all the way up until last year.
Speaker 1:Now, another layer in being present is that my wife said I get it, you would have spread the dirt if you knew, but you didn't. Here's the thing. Do you know what I did instead of spreading dirt on Saturday? Do you want to know what I did instead of spreading dirt on Sunday? Well, on Saturday I took my wife, my mother and my baby girl to a church Christmas fair and then I took them to an elementary school craft fair and I spent the whole morning and afternoon with the three of them and then I went off later on at night to work and DJ for a Christmas party. And then on Sunday, after the storm, when I couldn't move any dirt, I went out to dinner with two amazing friends of ours, matt and Sarah Perkins from Wedgway Farm, with my wife and my baby girl. We had dinner in Freeport and then we walked around LL Bean and to all the sightseeing, all the touristy sightseeing things that I've never done.
Speaker 1:I haven't been to LL Bean in over 10 years and I can tell you this the last time I was there, I definitely didn't stop and soak in the moments. I definitely didn't stop and be present. I didn't sit down on heated benches, I didn't take photos and archways and chair like rocking chairs. I didn't stop and do those things. I didn't stop and stare at lights. I probably just moved about the place and didn't take those things. In Saturday, I was present. I sat down at a church with my little girl talking to friends and family. I brought my wife and my mother to an elementary school craft fair and on Sunday, my wife and my baby were absolutely present doing touristy things, with two of our best friends Present being present. You know the thing about those experiences they didn't cost anything, granted. The opportunity to spend money is there, you know, at the craft fair I think we might have spent $20, right, but it didn't really cost money and everything that I did at LL Beam with our friends, our family was free, but we were present and we made memories. That's what it's about, folks.
Speaker 1:If I think about the lesson that my dad gave me, it was that, listen, boy, you might want to honor me in a certain way, but that's not what I want for you. Today, I am going to kick your ass yet again to create an opportunity for you to learn a lesson yet again. That lesson has many layers to it Stopping and realizing all that I've achieved, all that I've acquired, all that I've earned, all that I have, and then being 100% present. I had to take time to think about how far I've come in one year. Sitting here today recording this episode of the podcast, thinking about this episode one year ago. This episode one year ago, episode 179, was a recording of me conducting my dad's funeral. Here I am now recapping a day preparing for business expansion with new equipment and new buildings, recapping experiences with family and friends and talking about my beautiful baby girl. One year ago, I'm giving a speech about never being a parent, about not making my dad a grandfather, and then here I am ending my day taking a nap with my little girl.
Speaker 1:It's incredibly, incredibly crazy how time can change everything. I've always said that life gets a whole new perspective when you sprinkle on time and distance. Time and distance isn't going to bring back people that you love. Time and distance isn't going to fix all those big losses in your life, those failures and mix-ups and mistakes. It's not going to fix all those big losses in your life, those failures and mix-ups and mistakes. It's not going to fix all those things. But if you can be present with who you are and where you are, you're going to realize that there's a lot more blessings around you than you could have expected.
Speaker 1:Now, when I think about being present and I think about where I'm at today and where I was at one year ago at this time, giving a speech about my dad versus taking a nap with my daughter, there's no way I could have envisioned this. There's no way I could have expected this. Standing in my living room watching my wife and my daughter sleep, being present, made me count my blessings and put my life in a whole new perspective. Being present, realizing those things and sitting here thinking about those things, is proof to me that being present has a multitude of benefits, and one of those benefits in being present is overcoming very difficult things. Now, I'm not saying that my Monday was like one of the most difficult days of my life, because it wasn't, but if you think about this for one second, it's one year to the day of giving a speech to say goodbye to my dad. I spent all day outside, frozen, struggling to complete something that needed to be completed and working hard enough that I literally just pass out on the couch. I'm not saying this is the worst day, the most difficult day, but at the end of my day, being present put a whole new perspective on my day that made me appreciate my day. So to understand how one small change of being present, changing your mindset to being in the moment, living for the minute can actually resolve difficult challenges Does that at all make sense to you guys? Are you seeing any of that?
Speaker 1:Now, to further this research and this is where I was heading today, before I even had this epiphany that my dad taught me this lesson. So apparently this whole episode is going to be his information, I guess. So here's the tribute to my dad. He's derailed the show and made this entire episode about him, but I had these things drawn out in my mind that Christmas, christmas is not about getting presents. It's not about giving presents. It's about being present, and my message for all of that was number one I love to give presents and I was going to give you some stories about how much I enjoy buying things and making things for people and watching them receive those things, and tell some embarrassing stories about me receiving gifts and make some confessionals about me being a little brat as a child and the meaning of gifts and some hard lessons I had to learn about gifts, but all that would lead to a lesson for me about being present. Okay, you see the connection here Giving presents, getting presents, being present. So by doing so, I did some research on being present.
Speaker 1:What I did not realize was that the beginning of the show the meat and potatoes would be overrun by a lesson that my dad in turn gave me about being present. Now, this lesson, this lecture, this information, this doesn't come to me without actually being present. Does that make sense? Is that the worst explanation I could possibly give on something? Present? Does that make sense? Is that the worst explanation I could possibly give on something? Because I didn't think about those things until I'm sitting here getting ready to deliver a podcast about being present, and it forced me to be present and open up my eyes to see what I just experienced for myself. It's crazy. This is one more reason why this show has been running for 231 episodes, because, number one, there's so much to take from people's struggles by having the ability to share what it is you're going through growing through and people are going to grow through those things with you. But it's also extremely therapeutic to just turn a microphone on and bare your soul and share your story. So all the gift giving portion of this, I'm going to save that for possibly next week.
Speaker 1:But I am going to get to my research on the importance of being present, because this is how we peel back layers of the onion and give some examples to each and every one of you that shows a major benefit in being present that goes far beyond what we might think as a benefit. Does that make sense to you guys? My research has led me to a few key points, a few major benefits in being present, the importance of living present. You ready, doing a little desk Google research. One of the major benefits is mental health. Being present can help you reduce anxiety, stress and depression. It can also help you deal with negative emotions like fear and anger. This is so true. I'm just going to dig into each and every one of these a very little bit. We're not going to go too into the weeds here, because I want to leave it open for imagination and interpretation. I want you to be able to put a perspective on this. That's yours, to put this in the right place in your life. So again, let's read the description. One more benefit to being present is mental health. Being present can help you reduce anxiety, stress and depression. It can also help you deal with negative emotions like fear and anger.
Speaker 1:Now, one way that I'm going to connect this entire message with everything and to make a point on this is a year ago, that episode 179, where I recorded my dad's service. The only way I was able to get through delivering that message to everybody in front of me was to be absolutely present in the moment, to cut everything else out of it and just do everything I possibly could to honor my dad, his life, his legacy. I knew I had one opportunity I needed to submerge myself in being present and conveying his story. Nothing else, no distractions, nothing else. Now, by being so grounded and connected in that moment, I right now can close my eyes and see the faces of so many people in the crowd. I can hear the laughter to the jokes I told. I can see the tears, I can feel the emotion because I was present. I was so present that I can remember expressions on people's faces to the speech and the message I was conveying. That right there got me through one of the most difficult things in my life Saying goodbye to my father, honoring his legacy with one opportunity Sharing his story. I would not have made it through that moment in my life without being wholeheartedly, 1000% present. It got me through that anxiety, through that stress, the heartache, the depression of losing my dad. All those things, those negative emotions, the fear of getting up there and messing up. I got through all of that. The anger for losing my hero, my childhood hero. I got through all of that by being present.
Speaker 1:The next one is self-awareness. Being present can help you become more aware of your emotions and reactions. This can help you navigate your feelings more effectively and relate better to others. This is a big one. This one is hard to do in the heat of the moment to others. This is a big one. This one is hard to do in the heat of the moment. And I'm just going to tell you that when you realize that you can do this in those times when you are struggling, when you're having a freak out, you're about to lose your cool. If you can be present in the moment and be aware of your feelings, when you can be aware of what's going on around you, your surroundings, you can remove yourself from bad choices. You can remove yourself from major mistakes.
Speaker 1:I have spent my life as a hothead. I have been known to fly off the handle. I have gotten better at those things, but I was a very immature boy for a long time in my life. If I didn't get things my way, it was the highway. A lot of relationships with me have ended because I did not have that self-awareness. I was not capable of stopping the noise and realizing that I was a cause of those problems. If you're in one of those crazy situations, one of those manic times in your life, if you can just be present and just realize your contribution to that moment, being aware, being present, can help you become more aware of your emotions and reactions.
Speaker 1:When you are present, it's not about just enjoying things. It's about realizing things, that you're a cause of things or you can about just enjoying things. It's about realizing things. It's your cause of things or you can better analyze your surroundings. There's an incredible self-awareness that comes when you are present with yourself. There's going to be times in life, if you think about them, where shit's going wrong and you stop and realize, wow, this is my fault right now. The problem is that we often realize when something is our fault but we don't take the step to stop it. We get into that snowball effect when that snowball is rolling downhill and we just can't stop it. So it just keeps gaining momentum and speed. So our big decisions, our bad choices, just keep tumbling and tumbling and rolling faster and faster and higher and higher.
Speaker 1:Being present can help you become more aware of your emotions and your reactions and it can help you navigate your feelings more effectively and relate better to others.
Speaker 1:That self-awareness and being present helps you when you are getting delivered bad news, for example, like, can you remember a time you didn't get a promotion, or maybe you got laid off, maybe you got cut from a team that being present in that self-awareness If I keep this subject about my dad learning that he had cancer being present in that moment helped me get through that moment. I had an absolute panic attack, but slowing down and being present helped me to realize I need to absorb and appreciate and be aware and observant to every moment I have left with my father. I need to be wholeheartedly present with every moment I have left or I will regret it. The next one is happiness. Being present can lead to greater happiness. In 2010, harvard University study found that happiness is inversely related to mind wandering man. I didn't even read all these, I'm just doing this real time with you guys.
Speaker 1:My mind taking off and wandering around and bringing me down rabbit holes is my demise. I can have the greatest of days, I can be in the middle of the best of experiences, but my mind will take me someplace that I don't need to be. One of my greatest faults is that I can overanalyze things and I can remember things from a million years ago, and I could have done a great job connecting this to gift giving and receiving, but we're going to save that for the future. One example I can give about this is that I'm the type of guy that will put all this time, effort and money into a vacation and on day two of my vacation, my mind will begin to wander about what I'm not doing. By not being at home, the job that's not being completed, the customer that's waiting, the bill that's not being paid, the obligations that I've placed on somebody else's plate because I'm not there. My mind wanders and removes me from the enjoyment in front of me, that vacation that you worked so hard for, that you spent all year planning for, building towards, researching, looking forward to you can often let your mind wander away from you and distract you from being in the moment and enjoying that vacation away from you and distract you from being in the moment and enjoying that vacation.
Speaker 1:One of the last times I was in Nashville, tennessee, on vacation, I made a pact to myself to be present. It's an episode on this podcast to live in the moment and enjoy every opportunity that I have to not be stressed out and instantly thinking about what I'm missing out by not being home. In doing so, we made two lifelong friends from strangers, friends that have become family. We went on a pub crawl and met two people that you fast forward. A few months later, we are flying out to Texas to spend a week at Lubbock, texas, for my wife to be in a wedding for Carter and Liz, two people that have become family to us because we were present, I think about, on that same trip, that wedding trip, we ended up in Fort Worth, texas, in the stockyards, walking around with Rachel and Spence, two great friends that have become family. Spence is somebody that I met while on the road for Harley-Davidson. He runs an Indian dealership and him and his wife have become so incredibly close to us and the connection that my wife and Rachel have is amazing, and little Mel, their little girl on that same trip and little Mel, their little girl, on that same trip. Being present with them helped to motivate us into making the decision to be parents.
Speaker 1:While walking the streets of the stockyards on the last night we were there me and my wife had a conversation that went a lot like this this might be the last time we take a vacation alone and we had that conversation. It's because we are being present. When you're present, you allow yourself to be happy. If you're not being present, you allow your mind the opportunity to wander and to derail your happiness. The next one is better listening. Being present can make you a better listener for your loved ones. We're all guilty of this right. There's that important conversation and we're scrolling through our phone. I always feel like I get a bad rap. This is where we're going to put this out there. This isn't just on me. Everybody experiences this right.
Speaker 1:A lot of times it's timing when I might have a program on. I feel so old when I say that A program. I'm watching my programs and you ever have this happen to you when you've been watching something for, let's say, an hour and a half, where you've been watching something for, let's say, an hour and a half waiting to get to the two minutes of information that you've been waiting for. Like, for me, it's a sports thing all the time I'm watching this hour and a half program waiting for the two-minute news update. During that two minutes is when my wife wants to tell me something important. So now I'm like, wow, I have an hour and 28 minutes invested to get to this two minutes and you want to talk to me now.
Speaker 1:So by trying to navigate listening to both of them, I get in trouble, right. I miss out on the news that I wanted to hear and I let my wife down because I'm missing out on the things that she wants me to hear, that I needed to hear. So in that time now, what I've realized, what I try to do, given the opportunity, is I pause whatever's happening and say in my mind it's like you want to dedicate this time to say something important. What I'm hearing in the background is important to me. I'm going to pause it and I'm going to listen to you. This doesn't always happen, right. Far too often we're on our phone doing something and we can't pick our eyes and ears up to be present.
Speaker 1:Being present will make you a better listener and I guarantee it'll get you out of a lot of disagreements. And I think that I can also say we can all be better at it. Improve focus. Being present can help you focus on the present events and your well-being. Being present can help you focus on the present events and your well-being. It's so true, I think, that we overanalyze and stress about the things that we can't control, because we can only control what's right in front of us. When we're being present and we're focused on what's happening right now, not only are we enjoying those things, aka the vacation, the concert.
Speaker 1:I made this analogy so many times. I used to go to concerts and spend all the money I possibly could. I was a concert snob to get to the front row. If I wasn't within the first two or three rows of a show, I didn't want to go. But when I would get to that show, I would live behind the camera, I would live behind the phone. Does that make sense? I always had my phone out and I was recording these moments. I want to remember this. I want to remember this moment in this concert. So what did I do? I take my phone out and I say I want to remember this. I'm going to record this. But what are you doing? I'm watching said you know, artist through the lens of my phone. I could do that on my couch for free. Why not be present and watch and take in and observe and remember everything that's happening with my own eyes in the moment? Granted, it's good to get some videos so you can remember being there, that hopefully that video triggers the memory that you experience while being present instead of living through your phone. Just another analogy, but one that always hits home for me Better relationships, being present can help you avoid unnecessary conflicts and miss valuable cues from others.
Speaker 1:If we go back to the, you know better listening, this goes hand in hand if we want to connect it with a relationship, because sometimes you could have your face down and you're reading something and your loved one is saying something and you're just kind of yapping it along when ultimately, you might not realize the true importance of what is being said by them. Sometimes we just dismiss it as nonchalant, casual conversation because we don't peel our eyes up to look and see there's actually emotion. To look up and see they're actually looking for your interaction, they're looking for your response. My wife and I will have conversations where we're both looking at our phone. If you assume that a relationship that warrants interaction is a relationship that is both of you looking in your phones because you're not looking up and observing those things, that right there is going to create some conflict. If I'm in my phone and not realizing this is a conversation that requires my attention all hell to be paid, am I right?
Speaker 1:Improved self-esteem here's one that we don't think about. Improved self-esteem being present can help your self-esteem grow and become stronger and become stronger. This one takes some thinking, but it's incredibly true. If you are present and you are enjoying the moment, as we just outlined all these things mental health, self-awareness, happiness you're a better listener, you have improved focus and you are having better relationships. All those things focus and you are having better relationships All those things are going to improve your self-esteem. Being present, enjoying the small things in life all those things improve your self-esteem and with greater self-esteem, you have a greater ability to overcome all difficulties. You understand this time of year. Overcome all difficulties. You understand this time of year there's great difficulties.
Speaker 1:The holiday season is one of the greatest and most difficult times of the year for everyone. Think about the struggles that people go through this time of year. Whether it's financial I can't afford Christmas presents for my family Whether it's you know, know, I'm choosing between oil, I'm choosing between gas and I'm choosing between presents and food right food and fuel and presents for christmas. That struggle there, the first christmas without somebody, the first christmas with somebody, the you know first christmas where you receive bad news all these things I I can't help but think about all the difficult times. If I think about my christmas last year without my dad, I had to be present in the moment with my family. I needed to embrace and enjoy the opportunity that was given to me to be with my wife and my mother and enjoy new memories, to be present in that, if I let my mind wander to what used to be, it would derail what was right in front of me Right now. There's multiple people in my life that are going through some extremely difficult things.
Speaker 1:Some of you listening right now are day ones that have extremely difficult, life-changing things on your plate. Today's message, as much as it was for me, is for you Be present, no matter what the news, no matter what the difficulty, no matter what the diagnosis, no matter what the stipulation be present. The key for you to get through what is in front of you is to be present. If you are not present, you will be overwhelmed. If you are not present, you will regret missing what is happening to you and for you right now. Our days are full of difficulty, but if we are present, we have an opportunity to realize our blessings, to count them, to be grateful, to be thankful, to appreciate them. Be present.
Speaker 1:Christmas is one of the most amazing and difficult times all at the same time. There's times throughout the day when I can be completely overwhelmed thinking about yesterday. Times throughout the day when I can be completely overwhelmed thinking about yesterday. There's times when I just want to go back to two Christmases ago the last Christmas with my father. There's times I want to go back to the last Christmas with my brother, the last Christmas with some of my closest friends, but being present, I can be thankful for the Christmas, the first Christmas with my daughter. Be present. Being present and focusing on the now doesn't mean that you're thinking less about the past. It just means you're creating a better now and a greater past. It just means you're creating a better now and a greater past.
Speaker 1:I hope and pray that today, something positive from this message, from this episode, lands on you. And if it does, and there's someone close to you that you feel could benefit from today's show, and there's someone close to you that you feel could benefit from today's show, today's message, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share the show with someone you love, help it blossom, help it grow. Share this show with someone you know Together. When we share our struggles, we grow from our struggles. I have struggled and I have achieved, and today I am sharing One key ingredient From me to you Be present. I encourage each and every one of you, no matter what you are going through, no matter what you are growing through Good, bad, indifferent Be present, it will make a difference. I thank each and every one of you. I love each and every one of you. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your hands filthy animal.
Speaker 1:That's it and that's all Biggie Smalls. If you're a loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook. At Loud, proud American, I've got a face page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, you want to find me on Instagram. Or all the kids are tickety-talking on the TikTok. You can find me on both of those at loud, underscore, proud, underscore American. A big ol' thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers For the background beats and the theme song To this here podcast. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook. Just search Gut Truckers. Give them, motherfuckers, a like too. Make it bleed, I hate to say. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.