Share The Struggle
Share The Struggle
Joy, Jitters and jokes about Shitters 233
Holiday seasons can evoke emotions ranging from joy to anxiety, especially around gift-giving. The core theme centers on navigating uncomfortable conversations and reflections about the essence of giving in a heartfelt and humorous way.
• Reflecting on personal experiences of gift anxiety
• The importance of uncomfortable conversations during the holidays
• Sharing humorous anecdotes about holiday gifting expectations
• Discussion on holiday decorations as symbols of connection
• Introduction of the "Rule of Five" in gift-giving
• Encouraging authenticity in gift exchanges
• Emphasizing connection and joy over pressure during the season
Our "bowl of curiosity" brings intriguing questions to the forefront, providing insights and laughs. Join us as we explore these themes with warmth and wit, making sense of the holiday hustle and finding joy in the little moments.
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It was the night before Christmas and all through the van, your old buddy Matt fell asleep on the can. His children were nestled two time zones away with his first wife and her husband in sunny LA. Matt woke up and realized with a chill and a quiver that he was living in a van down by the river.
Speaker 1:All that and so much more on the Loud Pod American Shed a Struggle Podcast, Christmas episode. Let me tell you something Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life. If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Wait a minute, that's not right.
Speaker 2:Ho, ho, ho ho, hey, wait a minute. What'd you just call me?
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa, easy, easy here. You're a guest in this episode, okay.
Speaker 2:Don't be calling me any names, not this close to Christmas. I'll take a present away.
Speaker 1:Wow, All right To the naughty list. Listen.
Speaker 2:Santa's watching, which, ironically, is what I was hoping for. Oh, good gravy, good lord.
Speaker 1:Welcome back, folks, to yet another Christmas spectacular. Am I right? Oh God, you beat me to it.
Speaker 2:Get on my level.
Speaker 1:Cheers babe. That's a nice cold deck beer right there.
Speaker 2:That's a nice cold bush.
Speaker 1:Should have done that when we opened it Bush.
Speaker 2:That's a peach addition to you.
Speaker 1:It is. I just noticed on the. Can you see the two little booty peaches right there? That's pretty funny. Looks like a booty.
Speaker 2:It's not a booty peach.
Speaker 1:It's like a booty on the can. These are deck beers for the people that are listening, that don't know what deck beers are. When you live in the Northeast and you don't want to fill your fridge up, you just throw your beers on the deck. Yeah, when it's cold enough, nice day cold.
Speaker 2:That's right. I think it's a whole 10 degrees outside today.
Speaker 1:They got a nice frosted edition because they got a little bit of snowfall this morning. A little Christmas Eve snowfall, dear, that's right, it's the most magical time of year. I don't know why I said that as a leprechaun.
Speaker 2:Wrong holiday.
Speaker 1:Well, ironically, I was over at Meemaw's house and Paisley was watching Christmas cartoons and we're putting on all the old ones, right, like the original Rudolphs and Frosties and all this stuff. There is a Christmas leprechaun. I only caught part of it. There's an episode where there's literally a Christmas leprechaun.
Speaker 2:Are you sure it's?
Speaker 1:Yeah, rainbow pot of gold. Scenario.
Speaker 2:Are you sure it's not an elf?
Speaker 1:No, it was a definite surefire leprechaun. It was a whole story about it. It seemed kind of cool. We'll put it back on later. I had to take off and do something, but anyways, we are recording today's episode of the podcast on the eve of Christmas.
Speaker 2:Christmas Eve, I'm pretty disappointed that you're not wearing your Christmas sweater.
Speaker 1:You didn't give it to me. You wouldn't let me open it. I told you where it was I should not have to locate my own present.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. I do believe that you told me where to go find my own Christmas sweater this morning.
Speaker 1:Okay, moving right along here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, exactly. If you would like to take a pause, you're welcome to go on the deck and get your Christmas sweater, because we can't do a Christmas episode with you wearing an AR-15 T-shirt.
Speaker 1:That's the NRA, and you're just trying to get me topless.
Speaker 2:Maybe you did say you wanted to be on the naughty list. All right, please hold Woo Woo. All right, pretzel Woo Woo. So you went from an NRA t-shirt to a shotgun shells. Christmas Santa. Love it, yeah, love it Very, redneck.
Speaker 1:Jingle bells, shotgun shells. Yeah, that's what it says. I know it's a beauty, mm-hmm, but don't get your tinsel on the tangle. I know you saw me with my top off, I did. I know you saw me with my top off, I did. I'm going to have to wait until all the little kitties go to bed. You know what I'm saying. Good night, welcome to the Loud, proud American, sponsored, properly, precisely, beautifully named podcast, share the Struggle.
Speaker 1:We've been doing this little rosebud for shoot four years. It must be like our fourth Christmasmas special, because we started in 2020. Do the math right? First couple was, uh, christmas with clark, and then we clark on the shelf, clock on the shelf. Yeah, we had to, uh, change that up because we just couldn't line the schedules up. We're gonna bring him back on. We've been chatting about it. Um, he's got a lot of things to update. But last year we switched over to you and me doing the little little holiday soiree and asking each other some questions. And, um, I did a little digging, went online, found a whole roundabout of christmas themed questions and such that are in the old bowl of curiosity here and we're gonna just rapid fire some stuff, see if we can have some fun. Okay, enjoy ourselves. Have a few cocky tales and just see where, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Beer's moving. Wow, hey, brought to you by the bush peach, oh my, goodness. Hey, I'm a lady in a scholar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, lady in a scallop, you are a lady in a scholar. Yeah, lady in a scallop, you are a lady in a scallop. Before we get rocking and rolling, I was doing some research. I was going to do a different themed episode of the podcast last week, but we took off on a runaway on an important message last week instead. But I was doing a little research because occasionally I get a little gift-receiving anxiety.
Speaker 2:Okay, does that happen to you at all? Absolutely, gift-giving is my love language, so I obviously have a hard time. I'm a different version of anxiety Like I can't hold on to it any longer because I have so much anxiety. Like I'm like You're not great at keeping Christmas secrets.
Speaker 1:I can't. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2:I just I want you to have it because I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:Oh, I want you to have it too, baby, good Lord.
Speaker 2:We're talking about Christmas presents.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I want to deliver you the present.
Speaker 2:Yes, you, you did, and she's four months old. Whoa, whoa, this is PG today. I just have anxiety when it comes to holding on to the present and putting it under the tree and waiting. So I have to hold off on shopping sometimes because I'm like I'm going to spill the tea.
Speaker 1:Like this week, when you gave me a Christmas present early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and last month, when I gave you another one.
Speaker 1:I'm terrible. Well, for me. I love Christmas. I love giving gifts, I love being a part of big surprises. I get disappointed if I'm not pulling off major things. I have some things up my sleeve this year but I don't feel like I'm equipped to wow the pants off of everybody. But I've been a part of fortunately I've been asked to be a part of some cool surprises for friends and customers. You know designing things and doing things and that's been cool, but overall I love finding heartfelt, meaningful gifts. That's what I like to do. I want to make sure that either you want it, you need it or, like you know, it's going to be something that just truly surprises you. One of the keys to giving gifts and giving the best gifts is paying attention all year. If it's someone that you care about, that you're close to, if you could pay attention all year and then cue in on those things, I think that makes a difference.
Speaker 2:I have a note section, starting tomorrow, of the things that you mentioned, that you want that's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1:I'm serious way to show me up.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying that's it's perfect for a note section and I collect it for myself, as I did for you, and then I sent you over my list and it had what basically part numbers links yeah, amazon links listen, I know what I want.
Speaker 1:It's true I enjoy, you know, giving gifts and watching people open gifts. I get really excited about that. But I get a little anxiety when it comes to opening gifts. If it's I don't know how to put this I feel comfortable opening gifts in front of like you and my mom and, you know, like my family. But when, like, a friend gives you something like, it's great, I appreciate it, I love you for it. But sometimes aren't you like it's just, should I be getting this? You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Even like with you and my mom, like if you guys have put all this effort into a gift and you give it to me like I don't know how I'm supposed to act, so I don't act normal. Does that make sense? Like I don't know? You're in your head. You're thinking are you like, am I showing enough of a reaction right now? Am I? Does it look like I'm faking a reaction? Like I enjoy what I'm getting? What am I supposed to say? What do I do with my hands? Yeah, I get uncomfortable with it and I guess it's actually a thing. There's actually like a, you know, an anxiety to receiving gifts.
Speaker 2:That's why a lot of people actually don't open their presents at baby showers and stuff Makes sense, because it's awkward.
Speaker 1:I mean, I love getting gifts right. Who doesn't right? There's nothing wrong with getting gifts. I appreciate every single thing that I get from somebody. I just want them to know that I appreciate it single thing that I get from somebody. I just want them to know that I appreciate it. So I overthink it so much when I get it that I don't know what to do with it.
Speaker 1:You don't have the tools in your tool box, because I am a tool, but it doesn't make a difference. When I was a kid, I had some bad reactions. You know what I mean and some of them stick with me Like I have the mind of an elephant. I remember these things.
Speaker 1:You do Dude, I can go back to. I was at my parents' house. In the living room by the front picture window we were having a surprise birthday party. I had all my friends over here and two of my friends bought me the same wrestling action figure. The last one, the second version, or person that gave me the gift I already opened, was Charles Ritterhouse, great kid great friend.
Speaker 1:Charlie gave me this, this present. I opened it up. It was the same action figure and I basically was like you fucking guys couldn't talk about this to see which wrestler. You know what I mean. You couldn't be like hey, I got him Hulk Hogan, let me get him Ultimate Warrior. No, but it was such a dick thing to do. The dog's in the christmas tree, by the way here.
Speaker 2:What else is new?
Speaker 1:wholesome. What are you doing? I want to scratch my ass started off sniffing the presents, and then he started putting his head in the tree he loves the christmas tree.
Speaker 2:I feel like he was a christmas elf in his past life he likes the fact that it rotates.
Speaker 1:yeah, that's one of the questions in here. I think maybe that I saw and if it comes to it we can skip over it. I mentioned it, but there's a thing in there basically about like, what's your one decoration that's kind of like, you know, over the top, or bougie, that's unique For us it's the rotating Christmas tree.
Speaker 2:It is because I bring it up at work, or I mentioned like that our tree, like rotates, and they're like, I'm sorry, what?
Speaker 1:We have a tree that rotates 360 degrees, so all ornaments are viewed on said tree.
Speaker 2:We also have a Christmas cactus. We do have a Christmas cactus that stays up all year, that's five feet tall and completely decorated and all.
Speaker 1:I don't think he's five feet. Yes, it is. That's what they say.
Speaker 2:That's what the box says, probably with the stand, maybe Four feet without the stand, maybe Four feet without the stand.
Speaker 1:Our dog likes to go over and put his butt cheese right underneath the frigging tree. He'll back his ass up to the tree and let it go around in circles and scratch his booty.
Speaker 2:He knows you're talking about him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he definitely knows. He also knows it's almost Christmas because he's been trying to get into everything.
Speaker 2:He does like to open his own presents. Yeah, did you wrap their stuff?
Speaker 1:That's tonight. That's the last thing to wrap.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I was taking a sip If you do not wrap his presents, he's going to open up the baby stuff.
Speaker 1:This is true.
Speaker 2:He does love Santa Claus.
Speaker 1:So, to get back on my subject, I always think about how much of an asshole I was when I received that gift and how rude that was, and it bothers me. It still bothers me and there's been times when I've been like a arrogant, conceited little bastard as a kid and, um, like I regret not giving off the like best impression. Like my parents, I remember I went through this, this phase in high school where, um, all my friends had gold chains, everybody had big gold chains and I wanted one.
Speaker 1:My parents saved money and worked and they got me this gold chain and, uh, and it was great and amazing and awesome and more than I can afford for myself now right like it was legit, real and um, but it was different, a different link than all my friends and I was like you could read on my face that I was disappointed, that it wasn't the right link.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And I felt like a complete jackass to make the impression to my parents that they worked so hard for this. And it's not as big as some of my friends and it's not the same link.
Speaker 1:But yours was probably real and there wasn't well, the problem is is like I had some kids that were just friends of mine. They were just entitled rich fox, right right. Like I had kids that didn't appreciate anything and it kind of rubbed off on me. Like I remember riding around with a buddy that like we're in high school and he's got a brand new jeep, grand cherokee, with a bag phone in it. Yeah, like we that was. Like nobody had phones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're still using pay phones. You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 1:Like I don't think cell phones were a big deal until, like you know, I was getting out of school like towards the end of my maybe. Maybe I might've had a phone when I was like a sophomore or a junior or something. But to drive around with a phone in the vehicle right and I've had friends that just they were just had a bunch of money and it was.
Speaker 2:No, it was no thing.
Speaker 1:I always regret my reaction to that, like I always regret it and it's one of those things that I just kind of hold on to. So I think those experiences kind of cause me to be uncomfortable when I open things, because I don't want to recreate that yeah, makes sense the um irony and all that is that, like my parents worked so hard on that to buy me that and I wore it for the longest time, right never came off, showered with it the whole thing right and um had, like my mom giving like a football pendant charm on my number on, like I wore that all the time.
Speaker 1:Eventually it come to a point in my life where I was about to lose my truck. That's the truck that I still drive. That's not new and shiny anymore, she's all red, just be deterred. But there was a time when I lost my job and my truck payment used to be 585 a month and, um, I bought the truck brand new. It was the first thing I ever really bought brand new and I couldn't afford my truck payment and I went to the same jeweler that my parents bought it from. I went to see tank who you know and I had to sell it. I had to sell it back to him to keep my truck and it beats me up to think about it. You know to think like the memories of it and that I had to give it up sucks right.
Speaker 1:The reaction I had. That was shitty. The whole thing goes into it and then to be like it comes full circle and be like that one Christmas gift ended up being something that kept me from getting my truck repossessed.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean Right, it's kind of crazy. I have too many gifts that I did that with, unfortunately. But, good lord, I just got sidetracked, and I know you did too, because we just got photos from Mima sent to us. Little P Good lord, I just got sidetracked, and I know you did too, because we just got photos from Meemaw sent to us. Little Paisley Rain.
Speaker 2:Got a bow in her hair.
Speaker 1:Yep, first bow. Meemaw put a first bow on her. She's growing up. My mom has been talking about that for weeks.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:That she can't wait to put a bow in her head.
Speaker 2:She's been all about it wait to put a bow on her head, like she's been all about it. Well there's, put a bow on your christmas present. There is done deal.
Speaker 1:There's the christmas present, so anyways, if anybody else out there kind of has that, that feeling sometimes, I looked into it anxiety. There's actually an anxiety, um, with receiving gifts. It comes down to feeling pressured to react a certain way, and discomfort in being in the spotlight, which is ironic because I generally enjoy being in the spotlight, but in certain situations I don't Like when I'm, I don't know, it's weird. So that's out there. Out there for people. There's also a thing that goes with it, called gift guilt. Are you aware of this one? The dog's waving to you, that's great, giving high fives.
Speaker 2:Gift guilt is. He clearly has gift guilt.
Speaker 1:He does. He put his paw up like, yeah, it's because I can't give you guys anything back. I don't have thumbs. So it comes down to feeling uncomfortable that someone has gone out of their way thinking about you and that people feel like they don't deserve it. You know, they just don't deserve something. I've given gifts to somebody and had them react later like this is amazing. But I don't deserve this.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:That right, there is gift guilt apparently. Well, babe, that's my awkward gift research that I did. How do you feel about it?
Speaker 2:I think you did a great job. Now let's get on to the questions.
Speaker 1:Okay, All right. Well, I have a bowl over here, the bowl of curiosity.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to come get some of these dude, you're going to have to just pick it for me.
Speaker 1:Well then I have to. This is you know, if you pick one, then you would ask me I have to.
Speaker 2:This is you know, if you pick one, then you would ask me, and then I pick one and ask you.
Speaker 1:You know, I know I'll get up. Can you, can you make it over?
Speaker 2:here. I'll just take a handful of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's fine. We should have set this up better Apparently to Ooh, jingle, jingle. Huh, wow, would you look at that? It's a nice little bushel full it's a nice little bushel full try. That got it. There's a combination of things in here, um, probably sexual and not. Maybe truth dares true falses, would you rathers? Okay, straight up questions. Holiday festivus hit me, hit me. What is it? Is it stupid? They're not all great.
Speaker 2:What is the most interesting holiday decoration you own?
Speaker 1:Hey, that's it Rotating Christmas tree. You can grab another one We've already answered that.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't get to answer.
Speaker 1:Oh, you want something different than that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't I get to answer the question too? Yeah, go for it. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:I just thought that you were going to say tree.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's cool, but I think the Grinch tree that you made is really cool too. You do, yeah, I think it's cool. We just didn't put it up this year.
Speaker 1:We were ahead of the curve dude.
Speaker 2:We did, because now it's a thing, but we made ours.
Speaker 1:We searched, remember, I kept going around looking and you were like what are you trying to do, yep, and I would look at trees and go nope, not skinny enough and we just searched all around. Yeah, and then you bent it. I think it was a TJ Maxx in New Hampshire that we found said pencil tree. I don't even remember, and I brought that sucker home and I bent the shit out of the top and I turned it into a Grinch tree and we found the most ugly Grinch colored things to put on it Everything.
Speaker 1:And now you can go to Hobby Lobby and there's an entire Grinch aisle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it wasn't made.
Speaker 1:Yes, Well, thank you dear.
Speaker 2:You're welcome.
Speaker 1:Your turn. Let's see, please, to the goal of curiosity.
Speaker 2:I think that our listeners should write some of these down and ask their families.
Speaker 1:I was hoping they would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think they should.
Speaker 1:It's fun, alright. Oh boy, let's see here what would be the worst thing to find in your Christmas stocking Oof. What are you going to say? I can go with grossness on this, but I don't think that's appropriate for christmas. My instant reaction was was used condom, but that was gross. Oh my god I don't know why that's, but I thought the worst thing I enjoy stalking so much.
Speaker 2:I think that like, and it's not like the worst thing, but I always like as a kid used to get like nuts. No, like I would get like deodorant and toothpaste and toothbrushes.
Speaker 1:I asked for those things.
Speaker 2:I know, but I'm saying like to me, like as a kid. That's dumb, correct, correct. I love stockings as much as I love Easter baskets. So, like for those things, like if you want to give those to me, fine, don't stick it in my stocking, yeah, don't? You know what I mean. Like I just, eh, I want the candies in there, I want the things in there. You know, I don't want. Like I, if I need a new toothbrush, sure, yeah, the essentials, okay, cool, because, like my dad always used to be, like, things under the christmas tree are need and want, like, for whatever reason, those are the things that he that I remember him always talking about. So stockings was always the things that you need.
Speaker 1:You might need some deodorant, you might need toothbrush, toothpaste that's what I think, but that stuff is boring yeah, I, I remember as a kid my mom used to always put nuts, like big untracked walnuts, like the bowl of mixed nuts, some of those to get thrown in there, which I thought was I never did anything with them, but it was now that you look back on it like that was kind of cool, like the christmas those that get thrown in there, which I thought was I never did anything with them, but it was now that you look back on it like that was kind of cool.
Speaker 2:Like the Christmas orange that you always used to get.
Speaker 1:I used to get an orange, a pomegranate, a banana, an apple. Those things were all in my stocking.
Speaker 2:I did those last year for you, yeah.
Speaker 1:Boy, I did pomegranates, you did you and find it it's funny. I made the joke about condoms, but when I was in high school, Dave had his own sock here at the house. My mom put a sock up for him and I used to wrap up condoms and put it in his Christmas sock Used ones. No for him to use that's gross the gift that keeps you from getting the gift you know what I mean, that's gross. Well, anyway, you're next.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, anyway, you're next. Okay, let's see. Would you rather accidentally tell a child santa was not real or have to watch an ex-miss marriage proposal get rejected? Pretty solid I would love to watch a rejection yeah, that would be enjoyable really, you know what I mean. I'm terrible.
Speaker 1:I guess it would be really awkward if you knew the people and it was like you're all at this. Yeah, you know what I mean, but there's no way in Christmas miracle, am I telling some kid that Santa's not real?
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. I mean, unless it happened on accident. Like you were having a conversation and they overheard it that would still suck.
Speaker 1:I have. I don't you want to talk about anxiety. I'm stressed about lying to my daughter about Santa.
Speaker 1:I mean, we've already had the conversation that you know about who's going to give the big gifts and who's not, like I mean it's going to be mom and dad are going to give the big gifts, and Santa brings you the things that are boring, like your toothbrush, your toothpaste, your new PJs, your books, your learning toys, that sort of thing, but yeah, so there was a time when um, at a previous job where, like one of my bosses, his, his kids, like his boy was young and um, he, that you know, santa's not real, right, and the kid, like it was really young and in the prime years of enjoying santa claus, like when I was, you know, ecstatic about santa claus, and this kid, like I'm, you know, having that conversation with him, like around christmas, like hey, bud, you excited for santa, you know, and he was like don't, basically don't mess with me, dude, santa's not real.
Speaker 1:Like I know this, and me and one of my coworkers at the time we talked about it and we're like that's such a bummer dude that, like you, this kid's not allowed to be excited and not find the joy and hope and those things.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean they say the age is like six years. You have six years for your children to like. That's the sweet spot to like.
Speaker 1:Enjoy those memories when they really enjoy everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then after that, usually like it's a possibility that it's going to come out that Santa's not real and that sort of thing, and you hope that you can get more than the six years. But they're saying that like the stats are like six years.
Speaker 1:I remember being traumatized that it wasn't real Okay.
Speaker 2:Do I just tell her now that it's not real? And it was a big.
Speaker 1:It was a big to do around here, then we don't have to lie to her. Well, that's the. There's the catch 22,. Right? Do you want it? Do you not want to lie to your kid? Because now that I have a kid, I worry about the day and time I have to be like listen, honey, I've been lying to you for 10 years.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I don't think we have to use the words, lying.
Speaker 1:I've been misleading you with hope your entire life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know that's uncomfortable, but I want her to enjoy the season too. I remember when I had that reaction and I was like you robbed this young man, this kid of all of his, of this, this prime time, his magical seasons. But then, as you think about it, when you get older and you start having your own kids, you're like there is a lot of disappointment when you find out, dude, you've been lying to me. However, you've been lying to me.
Speaker 2:You do say in the podcast to be uncomfortable with having uncomfortable conversations.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're gonna call me out, huh.
Speaker 2:Shots fired, your turn.
Speaker 1:Oh, if that wasn't a kick in the holiday jello, I don't know what it was. What holiday thing do you wish would last all year long?
Speaker 2:Holiday thing last all year long the Christmas tree.
Speaker 1:We've tried it.
Speaker 2:During COVID. We took it down on my birthday, which is in June. June we put Easter eggs in it. I just think it matches the decor.
Speaker 1:It does match the decor of our house and the christmas tree. It can be depressing. When it comes down, it is enjoyable. Yeah, I guess the only thing that I will say is that, like a lot of that stuff loses its luster when you see it every day.
Speaker 1:I guess yeah but, like I love our christmas decorations and the lights and everywhere you go, all the christmas lights, but I guess if you were looking at these in july you'd be like dude when nothing's, and you know what I mean it doesn't look different anymore, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like when we took our christmas tree down in june and took it back out six months later, we were just like yeah, wow, how.
Speaker 1:Wow, how did this happen?
Speaker 2:Why are we already back here we were putting Easter eggs in that son of a bitch. We did, we did.
Speaker 1:So yeah, like I said, that's a tough. Are you reading?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, Would you rather lie and tell someone you love their present, to be polite, or admit that your present is bad in front of everyone?
Speaker 1:Wow, oh, I'm gonna fake it till I make it.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna lie, I'm gonna fake it till, I make it.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna lie the whole way.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm gonna lie to the grave.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Nana, that sweater you made me, Christine, I'm gonna wear it on picture day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you went to Versace. That was beautiful. Would you rather sneeze tinsel or poop ornaments for the rest of your life?
Speaker 2:Good gravy. Yeah, that sounds like it hurts either way.
Speaker 1:You're not even at your mic. You can't be answering right now. You're picking out of the bowl. I think I'm going to poop ornaments as long as they're oblong. You know what I mean. I don't need no pointy, sharp angel or something. I'm not talking about the star on the top of the tree but if I could have a nice bulbous, small type, you know what I mean. No, can you imagine just driving down the road and you sneeze tinsel out your face and it splatters all over the windshield or like you know you're ordering at Subway.
Speaker 2:What's that any different than the way I sneeze anyway, Ah-choo.
Speaker 1:That's true, but you don't have shiny stuff flying out your face. I would be like the, at least when you poop with ornaments, you can go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2:The clown that like pulls the handkerchiefs out of his nose.
Speaker 1:Oh, through his nose and mouth. That makes sense. Maybe I'd braid it yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, you're up. Would you rather live in a snow globe or a gingerbread house?
Speaker 1:Ooh, Not a lot of space in the globe, I'm assuming, or as much as the gingerbread house, but I do love the snow bouncing around. It does look majestic in there. I do feel like a gingerbread house could be rather cozy. Is it going to constantly smell like ginger? Is that going to bother me?
Speaker 2:I guess I could eat the house if I was hungry. I have one answer. One easy I'm leaning snow globe but talk to me, there's no door on a snow globe. You can't come out. You can come out of a gingerbread house.
Speaker 1:Hopefully that snow globe's big enough to roam around. I guess I don't really know.
Speaker 2:What are you, sandy cheeks?
Speaker 1:It does look. Taught me that one yesterday. Easy answer Well.
Speaker 2:Well, I need to know the question first.
Speaker 1:Real tree or fake tree?
Speaker 2:Fake tree?
Speaker 1:I don't want to deal with the tinsel. You don't have to put tinsel on a real tree, well, those little tinselly things that fall over. I love the smell.
Speaker 2:I love the smell of a tree. They do smell nice but for a short amount of time and the amount of time that we like to have a tree up for for us it's fake tree, as a guy that used to sell trees for one season and then not the trees. You smoke this trees colorado blue spruce.
Speaker 1:They're majestic and beautiful, but smell like cat piss yes, if you leave them in your house too long, they smell smell like cat piss, so the customer would never come back and buy from you again.
Speaker 2:What is your holiday guilty pleasure?
Speaker 1:All right, I'm going to come out with it. I'm going to come out with it. What, where's the Cabela's catalog?
Speaker 2:Well, your shirt's from Cabela's so does that count All?
Speaker 1:right Put your hand on your heart Right on Santa Claus. Be the lies to the sky. Truth from the sky. I love the Hallmark channel dude.
Speaker 2:No kidding, it's been on since Thanksgiving. The baby and I are sick of it.
Speaker 1:No, she's not. She loves it. Great American country and the Hallmark channel. I used to make fun of it. I used to call it the ovary network and I wouldn't watch it.
Speaker 1:I will say this, going through some, some shit. I think maybe last year was the turn for me when I was like I'm gonna live on hallmark. Here's the reason I felt like there was so much negativity in my life. You know, dealing with my dad being sick, losing my dad around holidays, all the family I've lost in the hallways, the struggle, the financial stuff, all those things. I couldn't take on any more negativity.
Speaker 1:Every Hallmark movie has a good ending. Even if I can predict what's going to happen, I enjoy the fact that I get to see a happy ending. No pun intended, this is true. It's always optimistic, everybody, things always work out. It just gives you that false confidence and hope in life, that dose of hopium that everything's going to work out, that you know what. We're going to save the tree farm. Okay, we're going to save the town. You know what I mean? The country music singer is going to help us sell cookies. Like it's all gonna work out. I like watching the hallmark channel because it just makes me happy. That makes sense. I can't watch negative shit. People start dying in movies and stuff. I'm out. I don't have space in my in my life for it anymore, I don't. I don't. People always ask me like hey, do you watch this?
Speaker 2:if you watch that, no bro he does not watch series won't do it no, he doesn't want to get addicted I don't know where I was.
Speaker 1:Someone was talking to me and I had the off the cuff answer that, but after I let it out of my mouth I was like that didn't come out right. Like you, I totally made you sound lazy, like I didn't mean it this way. But like when someone says to me like they asked me if I watch watches and I was like I might my answer was like I don't have time in my life for that bullshit.
Speaker 1:And then, after I said it, I was like, oh wow, that didn't come out right because that was word vomit to me. That's how I feel. I don't have time for it. I don't want to cloud my space, but anything negative. But to the person that was asking me, I'm sure they felt like, oh wow, you basically just called me a sack of lazy shit that sits on the couch and watches series after series after series and movie after movie you won't catch me binge watching anything other than sports and wrestling.
Speaker 1:That's it, bro and the hallmark channel and the hallmark since november, since thanksgiving you can put the hallmark channel on, you can get your shit done. You know what I mean. I'm not sitting there binge-watching frickin' I don't know name, series, Yellowstone, whatever I'm not doing it. I don't remember who asked me the question, but I did realize that I shot it down so quick. It was probably uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:It was probably Jen and Yellowstone.
Speaker 1:Maybe it was your Christmas party. I don't know. I might have shot somebody down there.
Speaker 2:No, jen Barnes oh no, because you shot down Yellowstone so quick?
Speaker 1:when she asked yeah, I can't do any of that.
Speaker 2:So my guilty pleasure is giving gifts. There's nothing wrong with that. That's not a guilty, that's guilty. I'm guilty because I give them before you're guilty of it.
Speaker 1:But a guilty pleasure is something that, like you do and you enjoy, but you don't like to admit it, like for me, being the rough, handsome masculine gent that I am that's me oh, I get it, but my for me to tell somebody that I watch a Hallmark channel, it's like telling somebody you know what I mean Like this super dark secret. Yeah, I almost said that that was weird, all right.
Speaker 2:I have one more.
Speaker 1:Me too. Okay, be honest, is it really the thought that counts? Sometimes, Okay, do tell.
Speaker 2:I don't really have an answer, like it just depends on like a scenario, like sometimes if you're just doing it for your own guilty pleasure but not like for the person, like you're trying to give yourself that like, like dopamine.
Speaker 1:But there was really no like thought like trying to give some big gift to look special like you put the thought into it, but you really didn't.
Speaker 2:But you really don't give a shit, I got you, yeah, yeah it's more or less like a show boat kind of thing, but realistically like it doesn't matter to anybody. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like so what if someone put all this time and thought into something that they like made for you, but it was? There was no value in it, it seemed. You know what I mean. Like I don't know.
Speaker 1:Maybe I put a lot of thought into this paper here and I turn this into this beautiful swan right here and I, I, but I didn't do this in 20 seconds, I did this in 20 hours, yeah, and I and I, I packed this thing up so nice and you open it on christmas because I thought about you and made this is that okay, or? Or is that the dog just puked? But is that he answered for you? No don't give me that swan.
Speaker 2:I think it. You put some time and effort into it so that yes in that sense, I guess the thought counts, then yes, Alright, but there are certain situations that are just like.
Speaker 1:I'd rather you not. Sometimes the thought is for yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'd rather you, I would rather you come with no gift Okay Than to be fake.
Speaker 1:Makes sense, that's Alright. I think you got one more. Hopefully it's not stupid.
Speaker 2:What would be the strangest thing to see inside of a snow globe. I instantly thought dildo, wow, wow, you thought condoms earlier.
Speaker 1:No, that's weird, that's pretty hilarious. Could you Dildo snow globe and when the snow is going, maybe the dildo just vibrates no, that's gross. What the heck is wrong with you? I was thinking about when the snow globe was going. The vibrator dildo would vibrate around inside the snow globe, not, I thought, all over the place I thought the snow would be spinning. Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Wow, what's your answer, because clearly I'm off the track.
Speaker 1:I don't think I have one now. I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2:You have to.
Speaker 1:I can't get that out of my head to come up with anything else.
Speaker 2:What was the question? Again, I'll put some googly eyes on it, jeez Louise.
Speaker 1:So he's looking. I'll put some googly eyes on it, jeez Louise.
Speaker 2:So he's looking. I'll put one googly eye on him.
Speaker 1:So he's a Cyclops, basically Cyclops snow globe.
Speaker 2:No, because all of us women think that your penises look like the one I had lost.
Speaker 1:This is a Christmas special, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, what is the strangest thing to see in a snow globe? Jeez.
Speaker 1:Strangest thing to see in a snow globe I can't even create a positive image anymore. Cat taking a poop in a litter box.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You know how funny cats look when they're taking poops.
Speaker 2:Well, they look so angry.
Speaker 1:They get mad at you for looking at them, Like most cats are like. They're offended why are you looking at me? I'm trying to take a poop over here.
Speaker 2:Wholesome does the same thing. Maybe he was a cat in his other life.
Speaker 1:Could have been.
Speaker 2:He gets offended and starts like scooting his butt and like taking a hike litter box with a cat all hunched up taking a poo-poo snow globe. I bet they would sell can the poop be hershey kisses, sure, sure, that sounds good. I think it'd be cuter.
Speaker 1:I think that'll work all right. Well, babe, I'm not really sure what happened on our Christmas special or how informative this was for people, but I think we did put some things out there. Hey, we did, we crossed anxiety. Okay, we did. That was important.
Speaker 2:We crossed that bridge.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean Gift giving. We've gone over that. Are you aware of the rule for gift giving for kids? I believe it's. I think it's the rule of five they call it.
Speaker 2:Do you know this one?
Speaker 1:No, I don't Spell the T I found this interesting the five gift rule for kids Give something you want, give something you need, give something you wear, give something you read and give someplace to be Make sense.
Speaker 2:Weirdly, the only one that Dan didn't do is somewhere to be Huh.
Speaker 1:Well, I do recall most of your Christmases, including IOUs, so I don't know if you can really classify that?
Speaker 2:I guess, but sometimes Sometimes.
Speaker 1:Something to keep in mind. By the time you hear this podcast, Christmas is over.
Speaker 2:Did you get something you needed?
Speaker 1:Well, you probably screwed the pooch if you're still out there shopping, but if you have to shop, give them something. They want something, they need something, they wear, something, they read and someplace to be.
Speaker 2:Funny. You should say that your mom just talked to um missy and they were out christmas shopping before coming to our party yeah, they do that every year that's what I said it's crazy that's what I said. I couldn't do it. That's anxiety.
Speaker 1:That right there, dude, you're getting the last, you're getting like whatever's left on the things and then you're making impulse buys, you're just caving. Not good. I have anxiety because I still have some wrapping to do and I have some construction to do. I have some handmade gifts to finish tonight.
Speaker 2:You always wait until the last second. No, yeah.
Speaker 1:Maybe. Yeah, well, we had a big weekend. We've been getting a lot of things done. We've had we were blessed by some some big jobs that came through over the weekend.
Speaker 2:We've been all over the place making things happen I only have two gifts left to wrap, and normally I'm wrapping on christmas eve all my presents I, I'm pretty proud you did well. I did it while the baby was napping.
Speaker 1:You've done well, young grasshopper. And if that dog runs into one more thing and shuffles his feet around one more time, I swear to God this is going to be his last Christmas.
Speaker 2:It could be his last Christmas. He's old.
Speaker 1:Every chance you get you assume that dog is dead. I do not. He's not moving. This morning he died. Remember he got lost a week ago and you're like you probably wanted out in the woods to die Because that's what your dog did.
Speaker 2:Okay, hello.
Speaker 1:Well, hopefully we don't curse him you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I just want him to last long enough for Paisley to fuck with him.
Speaker 1:Sorry, matt, I thought you were going to say appreciate him, you know.
Speaker 2:No Mess with him.
Speaker 1:Well, let me ask you this Yep. Did you ever imagine that you'd be having this Christmas that we're having? Like, if you rewind to last year's Christmas, could you imagine this year you'd be having the first Christmas ever with your daughter?
Speaker 2:No, could you?
Speaker 1:imagine that.
Speaker 2:No, because I didn't know I was pregnant.
Speaker 1:Well, no shit. But I'm just meaning like as a kid even you know, you think back, like in your younger years, thinking like did you ever imagine, like, did you have a vision for yourself of?
Speaker 2:having.
Speaker 1:Christmas with like a kid Hope for it. How does it feel like now that it's actually here? Crazy, the craziest thing for me so far, because she's not interacting with everything is writing her name on Christmas gifts. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I did write to Daddy from Paisley on a couple of things and I was like that's weird. Yeah, that makes it queasy, doesn't it? No, not queasy, you just have to be like what, because I'm not calling you daddy, that's weird, I'm mommy. No, that's so weird, that's an ick for me.
Speaker 1:You want to call me daddy. How about papi? You call me papi. They call me big me Poppy. They call me Big Poppy. They call me Big Poppy.
Speaker 2:I'll call you Santa Claus, because you got a beard.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're lucky. You're lucky, you used the face and not the bowl of jelly. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Hey, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Well, on that note, I personally want to wish everybody listening to Merry Christmas Some of you that are actually going to listen on Christmas. I appreciate that. Send us a shout out that you partook in this Christmas experience on a winning Wednesday. We'd love to hear from you. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. It's because of each and every one of you that we took time away from our family to record this podcast tonight to keep our consecutive winning streak alive. We did not want to lose an episode. We wanted them all to happen on time because we're committed to you and we believe in you. Even on Christmas Eve, we're taking time to record the podcast. I hope we made y'all laugh. I hope we made you smile. If you got something out of this, if you found some humor today. You enjoyed yourself today. Share it with someone you love. Help us grow this damn show.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal, you filthy animal.
Speaker 1:Thank you for supporting the Christmas special you filthy animal. Animal you.
Speaker 2:Now go wash your.
Speaker 1:Christmas nuts.
Speaker 1:Wash your yule log and I'll see you next week. Merry Christmas, ho, ho, ho, ho, merry, I don't know what else to say. Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, I don't know what else to say. Merry Christmas, I tooted, that's it and that's all. Biggie Smalls. If you're a loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook, at Loud, Proud American or the Face page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, want to find me on Instagram, or all the kids by tickety-talking on the TikTok, you can find me on Instagram. Or all the kids by tickety-talking on the TikTok. You can find me on both of those. At loud, underscore, proud, underscore American. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to this here podcast. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook. Just search Gut Truckers. Give them, motherfuckers, a like too, I told to say.
Speaker 2:I told you so, feel the pain, make it bleed, I hate to say.
Speaker 1:I told you so. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.