Share The Struggle
Share The Struggle
2025 Find Your Guiding Word & Live By It 234
The podcast episode revolves around the themes of personal growth as we transition into the new year. We explore the dichotomy between enduring struggles and harnessing them for growth, reflecting on anecdotes from past experiences that emphasize resilience. Inspired by thought-provoking questions, we discuss the importance of setting boundaries, the complexities of parenthood, and choosing guiding words that can empower us for the year ahead.
• The difference between choosing to suffer or grow through challenges
• Importance of uncomfortable conversations for personal development
• Reflecting on last year's experiences and their impact
• Setting meaningful New Year's resolutions with thought-provoking questions
• Humorously sharing real-life anecdotes from parenting and family life
• The significance of selecting a guiding word for motivation and clarity
• Visualizing and integrating the guiding word into daily life for greater intention
Leave your guiding word in the reviews or reach out to us with your thoughts!
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As we record on New Year's Eve, as the world reflects on the year that was and prepare for the year that will be, I almost can't believe what a difference it is for me Ringing in 2024 on the dance floor with two great friends and a night that was B-Y-O-B, to awaiting 2025 with our little baby cutting teethies. I know that was a reach, but that's the best way I could connect B-Y-O-B with cutting teeth. So that's what's on tap tonight. No pun intended, Let me tell you something Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
Speaker 3:If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
Speaker 1:When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
Speaker 3:Most disagreements they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be Back on time. We can fight for justice the whole day gone. We'll be fine.
Speaker 1:Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. What it do, what it hot diddy-dee-doo. Good lord, am I excited to be joined by you and your little hot pants PJ pants over there.
Speaker 2:Guys it's just me.
Speaker 1:Nothing exciting.
Speaker 2:Welcome back, just me.
Speaker 1:Feels pretty exciting. Follow me, feels exciting to me. So last week was such a success with our little Q&A Seshuan that I decided to take two on, me and you.
Speaker 2:You understand. All right, you want me to ask some more questions.
Speaker 1:Well, that's where we're headed today, but I'm going to just number one. I'm going to let the rules out here for you. Instead of the bowl of curiosity that we had last week, I've actually filled your cup holder with questions. So there's four questions over there for you, there's four questions over here for me, and there's also a cold beverage in the other cup holder for me in case you feel like you need it. No pressure, you know, just out there in case you need it.
Speaker 2:Thanks.
Speaker 1:So the rules behind today's questions. I did a little bit of research and soul searching this morning that that dog is so annoying, oh my God.
Speaker 2:I told you Shuffling Shelton is on the move.
Speaker 1:We got one dragging his toes all the way across the house. The other one's.
Speaker 2:He's going to bed.
Speaker 1:The other one is nestled that's not a word Nestled in behind me, pushing me off the freaking couch Snoring.
Speaker 2:I can hear her over here. Dude, that's obnoxious.
Speaker 1:This is the life we live Over here, dude, that's obnoxious, this is the life we live.
Speaker 2:Listen, there's never a dull moment, clearly not the White Horse Ranch.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get to the dull moments on White Horse Ranch in a second, but I want to get sidetracked off of where the questions came from today. This morning, doing a little research, I basically was looking into questions you should ask yourself on New Year's right To ringing in a new year like good questions to ask yourself. And if y'all been listening since day one, if you've been around for the over four years of the show, that means that this would be the fifth year that we've done a New Year's goal-orientated episode. Right? Something on forecasting goals. You know, making these dreams come true, right? All these different steps and things we can do. You know objectives and key results and all those things.
Speaker 1:We've gone over several things the importance of having calendars and writing things down so I wanted to change it up this year. We've gone over several things the importance of having calendars and writing things down so I wanted to change it up this year. So this year I figured you and me will have a little question and answer and I look for some good questions. I try not to put a lot of thought into the answers. I clipped them and they're like a surprise quick draw over here. There's only one question that I did a little research on, and you did as well, because I thought it was the most important question of the night and I wanted to queue up some thinking points for all of our listeners, so when we get to that question, they'll have something to kind of think about and ponder. I'm really hoping that this episode provides some thought-provoking questions for everybody to think about.
Speaker 1:Right, we're recording this on New Year's Eve. It's going to drop on New Year's, so when this episode comes out, it's going to be 2025. And it's going to be day one. You get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All my day ones, it's going to be day one.
Speaker 1:This is when you have the opportunity to go version 2.0 of you right. This is when you have 365 days to make your make your mark on the year. This is your opportunity to make a difference, to make this year your best year. So we want to put some questions out there for you to ask yourself, to maybe provoke yourself into some thought and hopefully, you know, motivate you to get ready to rock and roll for this year. So that's really the goal that we have before us on the table, but there's going to be some levels of difficulty that ramp up our search for Inspirada. But before we get to that, you were saying that there's never a dull moment on the ranch, and this morning you were able to put your CPR certification to the test in no way that anybody would really assume you put it to the test. So how about you share that story? While I try to shuffle this dog off the couch because she's peeing me off, while I try to shuffle this dog off the couch because she's peeing me off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, let's just start off with the fact that it is 7 in the morning. See, never a dull moment 7 in the morning. I have not had any coffee and I go out to do the barn chores and my mother-in-law decided that it was a great breakfast for the pig. To give him some muffins. Totally fine, we do this on the regular. I give him one. Yes, I unwrapped it because that's one of the questions you asked. Yes, I unwrapped it, gave it to him and all of a sudden my pig starts choking Full on like gagging choking, trying to catch his breath, drool coming out of his mouth, tongue hanging out whole nine yards. I'm doubled over, just about on all fours trying to give the damn pig the Heimlich maneuver. This boy was worried. It was his last day. He thought he was going to be a hamsteak. Oh yeah, he was not about to reign in 2025.
Speaker 1:He's probably smelled the ham I've had on the smoker this week and said not today. This is how they get me. This is how they get me right here.
Speaker 2:They feed me dry muffins.
Speaker 1:My Lord, I'm on my way out on a brand muffin, oh my god, I'm, I'm literally, I wish I was out there I'm glad the cameras don't catch his I wish it did I'm glad it doesn't, because I looked ridiculous out there in my pjs doing the heimlich maneuver.
Speaker 2:Did he have his?
Speaker 1:tongue out and everything.
Speaker 2:Yes, he makes funny noises. So his tongue was just about out onto the ground and he had drool coming out of his mouth like full saliva balls and then also coming out of his nose. I'm like my arms are. You know, you put it in a fist, put your other hand around it. I'm like under his stomach. You know, you put it in a fist, put your other hand around it. I'm like under his stomach, like doing the c motion trying to get this brand, did he, hot tui?
Speaker 1:it up what happened no, he, he didn't.
Speaker 2:He just got it loose, apparently, and swallowed it, and that's the.
Speaker 1:That's his choice. He wouldn't spit it out. He'd be like oh, I fought through this. I'm gonna finish this yeah.
Speaker 2:So I'm you know that's not working doing the whole homic maneuver. So I'm like whacking his back, I'm like trying to get this did the horse come over to see what's going on? No, no, he wasn't being bothered with his breakfast not a chance not a chance if he would have realized. If he would have realized he would have come running over. Yeah, but yeah, no. And then of course I feed Winston his actual breakfast.
Speaker 1:And I make sure to Didn't disturb his eating ritual one bit.
Speaker 2:Oh no, he thought it was going to be his last meal, for sure.
Speaker 1:If this is my last, I'm going out on a full belly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was oats on it and there was old formula, and there was old formula and there was water.
Speaker 1:I don't like some powdered breast milk and oatmeal for your last Listen it was formula that Little Miss is not going to eat.
Speaker 2:She doesn't need anymore, so I figured, why not just recycle it?
Speaker 1:There you go, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:So that was my morning, all before coffee, all before a sip of coffee, by the way.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we kind of hinted at this on the opening of the show and we're going to kind of spell this all out for you, and then we're going to let it go and see if we can get through all of our questions here. But it's so amazing to me to think about what we were doing last year right now.
Speaker 1:And really what a difference the week was going to make you know. So last year on New Year's Eve we had been invited to spend the night at Ledgeway Farm with our great friends and family. Matt and Sarah Perkins. We went out there to Crystal Falls, the little dance club BYOB.
Speaker 2:What a great adventure that was, oh my God, I still to this day like it's a dream of mine to open a Crystal Falls.
Speaker 1:That was the best New Year's eve we've ever gone out for period and we don't.
Speaker 2:We don't go out on new year's ever.
Speaker 1:We actually hosted new year's eve like I've dj'd them, and I still had more fun at this one yeah, yeah so you bring you know sea of crock pots and food.
Speaker 2:Remember I made friends with a, with a grandma, and I was looking for a meemaw you were looking for a meemaw at that point, you're a meemaw at that point You're right. I just thought of that, me too, I had this whole conversation.
Speaker 1:I like tried to sweet talk her with sweets, and then I told you this whole time we had this conversation about how I needed a meemaw.
Speaker 2:You needed a meemaw.
Speaker 1:That's kind of weird.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's super bizarre, because now that's what your mom is. Yeah, meemaw.
Speaker 1:Pretty crazy. I remember being like this lady right here might be a real ass, ma'am.
Speaker 2:At first she did not like you, she didn't like me.
Speaker 1:I mean most people don't. I got to win them over.
Speaker 2:She didn't like Matt either, you know it happens.
Speaker 1:We just got to win people over, and then we found those weirdos that wouldn't leave us. That guy liked Matt too much.
Speaker 2:I remember he found Matt again.
Speaker 1:That's the first time people were giving me warm fireball and. I was just pretending to drink it. Yeah, after like the second Dixie cup of warm whiskey. I was like you know what I'm going to pretend to fill this next seven.
Speaker 2:Good thing we had red solo cups.
Speaker 1:That you couldn't see in them. I still threw up the next morning, you know what's so funny.
Speaker 2:I did not know, obviously, that I was pregnant and I drank, and I still didn't throw up yeah, I mean, you didn't drink a lot, thank you, no, I was drinking those new um uh, arizona spike oh, that's right. Yeah, I didn't have many of them, but still like so.
Speaker 1:So it was New Year's Eve, we were having the best time and we did not know that our lives were about to change, you know, in an amazing fashion. We did not know that you were pregnant. You know, a week ensued after that of you not feeling right and then discovering that. You know, we have a little surprise on the way, and you also surprised me and my mom by telling us on my dad's birthday, which is coming up January 9th.
Speaker 1:So New Year's Eve we in no way, shape or form, can imagine ourselves as parents New Year's Eve right, and we are literally just a few weeks off from saying goodbye to my dad you know.
Speaker 1:Having his service, our whole world was upside down. Things were changing. We were trying to establish the new norm in our life. We were searching for many things and um so, new year's eve, our world's spinning, and here we are, new year's eve, one year later, and we have a four month old, beautiful, amazing baby girl who's cutting teeth and you would swear is possessed last year we were popping bottles, this year we're popping baby bottles yeah, we're popping bottles, from popping bottles to cutting teeth. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, four bottles to cutting teeth. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, four-month-old cutting teeth, little girl's having a rough night.
Speaker 1:Poor girl, she started the day off great. It was a, you know, father-daughter day. Today was one of my days and she was doing great. She had a few meltdowns but was okay.
Speaker 2:But she was drooling an excessive amount, yeah she's been awful the last couple of days and we know that she's got teeth coming through like they have been for a little while. But I think more or less today is.
Speaker 1:Today's a big day for her. Yesterday was tough. I had a hard time getting her to sleep. Should have some meltdowns One of those scenarios where you try to keep Ring her off on the phone, trying to, you know, just focus on her and get through everything. But she was okay, you know. Today she's just had some uncontrollable meltdowns more so tonight, and so she's resting right now, taking a little nap, and we'll see if we can make it through the podcast here.
Speaker 2:But if I have to peel off it's because I'm popping bottles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I hear that Speaking of popping bottles. Just thinking about how much I've been yelled at tonight.
Speaker 2:Do it, you earned it Nice.
Speaker 1:It's probably the only daddy soda I'm going to get tonight, I think.
Speaker 2:Was that a sexual joke?
Speaker 1:Oh, but it could be, I just figured.
Speaker 2:I know you and God. I hate that. God, it's delicious, I hate that.
Speaker 1:Well, I love you, dear Anybody else, or is it just me?
Speaker 2:can't stand the sound of people drinking or eating.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, you have to overemphasize the excitement on our recordings so people realize that it's going down it boils my blood.
Speaker 2:I don't know how I'm going to do when there's two of you in this house eating at the table. She's going to take after you and start slurping her chocolate milk. I'm sure of it.
Speaker 1:You said chocolate milk, then it means you know she's taking after me. I almost dumped that beer all over the whole couch. I got no place to put anything over here right now.
Speaker 2:You just wanted me to bend over the couch and clean it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know me so well.
Speaker 2:Moving on. What about these questions? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I blacked out. I blacked out. The point is, life comes at you hard and fast. Things can change. We're absolutely blessed. That's why I was pregnant, because you came at me hard and fast. Wow, good night. That was pretty good. That was good. All right. I'd love to stay on this little ditty right now because I think we're headed in a great place, but I do believe that we should start asking some questions here. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I said yes already once. Jeez, how many times do I have to say yes?
Speaker 1:Okay, good one, I'm going to go first because you already have one picked. No, I have them piled up right here.
Speaker 2:I was like you told me I couldn't read mine.
Speaker 1:I told you not to read yours.
Speaker 2:I didn't.
Speaker 1:Okay, the long one, the big one that you're holding in your hand, like the longest one, that's going to be the last one, that's the one we actually know about, so you hold on to that one okay. Heard All right. What is one thing I will say no to more often, so at 2025,? These are questions that you have to ask yourself, and one of those questions, the first one of the night, is what is one thing I will say no to more often? And if it's something sexual about turning down your husband.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be pissed. No, I forgot that. These were questions that you were asking.
Speaker 1:Like both of us had to answer, and I thought you were asking me, like what is something you, oh, you want to know?
Speaker 2:what I was going to say and I was like I already know the answer to this one no, this is for you.
Speaker 1:What do you? What is something that you need to say no to more often? I know it's tough to think of these things that kind of read on the spot. They tend to take some, you know, time to ponder and to think.
Speaker 2:But no, I have an answer for this one. I and I mean this like respectfully, like, not in a disrespectful manner. In a disrespectful manner, I am going to say no to helping out people all the time, because I don't put myself first.
Speaker 1:Understood.
Speaker 2:And this year is going to be about me and my family and my daughter. So it's going to be, you know, if I have the opportunity, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's not going to be the main focus and the main goal. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm always the first person to be like, oh, I can help, oh, I can do that, yeah, and that's one thing that I'm going to work on saying no to. And then the other thing that I'm going to work on saying no to is, um, taking on more on my plate than I, than I can handle. I know I can do it, yeah, um, I know I can do these tasks and I know I can achieve them and get them done. Um, but it's not always my responsibility.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that makes sense. I think that mine really hovers with the same as you very similar, because what is one thing that I need to say no to more often? For me, if you just back up the sentence, I need to learn to say no more often. That's it. I don't say no to things and it's to a fault. Like I'm trying to, like I'm a perpetual people pleaser, like I always want to make people happy.
Speaker 1:So if you need me to do something and I say yes to it, even though I know it's a major inconvenience on you know, you and the rest of the family, and I do it because I can make somebody happy, like I still do I need to say no to that shit.
Speaker 1:And I need to get better at saying no to um and I know this is going to sound like crappy but I need to get better at saying no to people that I actually like, love and care about. You know what I mean, because I'm willing to always go out of my way to do something for someone that's important to me, even if I don't have the time to do it. And it gets me in trouble because then other things hit the back burner that shouldn't. Then all of a sudden, my business is taking a back burner. You know what I mean, and I also think that you know if I think about it on a business side of it too, when I read that what is something to say no to? More often there's so many like job opportunities that come to me for the business that I just need to be like. I'm sorry, no.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I entertain everything because of the possibility of making money and I know that our family, like we need to make money. Like I know it, you know, and I say yes to these things, or I consider these things when, ultimately, the time I spend working on those things like removes the opportunity for me to make money on other things and I just got to say no to them. I have to get better at that. Whether it's a DJ opportunity somewhere that I just should say no to, whether it's a DJ opportunity somewhere that I just should say no to, or whether it's a custom job that comes in that I put all this time and effort into for them to just order, you know five or 10 things and then, like I need to stick to my guns on scenarios you know, and there's just certain jobs that I just need to straight up say no, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2:That makes sense.
Speaker 1:I might have answered that too long, but that's actually a big one for me.
Speaker 1:No, that's an important one, like legitimately, I don't know what the rest of the questions, but one of the resolutions for me is getting comfortable saying no, like I need to get comfortable saying no. Shit, if I don't start saying no in other aspects of my life, that little girl in the other room is going run me over. You know what I mean. If I can't say no, it's anybody else. I'm not gonna say no to her because she's you can't already. You can't princess fussy pants is already that's queenie linguine to you, yeah well, question your questions next Go for it Straight, miss Sass.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right. How can I be kinder to myself this year? Ooh, that's tough.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're asking me this now, aren't you Shoot? How can I be kinder to myself this year? Mm-hmm, I'm mean to myself, I am rotten I think that, um, how can I be kinder to myself?
Speaker 1:I gotta give myself some grace on what I have accomplished for sure considering the fact that I always stack my results up to my expectations and they don't often equal out. So when I complete something I might feel defeated by it because it didn't really reach my expectations. When I got to give myself some grace for just getting by and just figuring it out. That little girl in the next room has taught me some of that, because there's things that I just can't fix and figure out but I just have had the only way I've gotten through it on these days when it's like just me and her is accepting that like dude, you're doing the best you can with it.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I've never been good at saying that being okay with that, you know. And um, similar to what you said, like I, I feel like I'm always talking down to myself. You know, um, I've gotten better through the years of trying to catch it and stop it, but it's one of those things where, if you stop for a minute and realize the things you say to yourself, and and and literally said, if I had somebody in my life that talked to me the way that I talked to me. I would never want to be around them.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'd punch them square in the throat. Yeah, I am not nice to myself at all whatsoever. I will hands down out of the sky, hand on the cabela's catalog. Truth from this guy. I'm the worst. I am my worst critic.
Speaker 2:I never give myself any grace, like, for instance, this breastfeeding journey, fucking hard yeah hard, one of the hardest things I've had to do as a human, as a humanoid yeah, hardest thing in the world, because I'm trying to supply food for a child and I'm just not. I'm not cut out for it, but I'm still pushing. I may be getting a sip after a 20 minute pump session, but I'm still doing it. I'm still pushing, and the last thing that I do is give myself any sort of grace that I'm still doing it. I hear from multiple people. When I bring up where I'm at right now and all the different things that I've tried, I have heard by so many different people I would have given up by now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd be done with it.
Speaker 1:It's crazy because some people have, like you know, you go to their house and they have freezer bags full of breast milk in their fridge, you know, or freezer, I wish.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have one, but then some people just can't produce anything at all.
Speaker 1:But those people that do most of them aren't still trying at four months.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that do.
Speaker 1:Most of them aren't still trying at four months and yeah, you know, and you know the benefits for her and that's the reason for doing it, and yeah and I give you props for hanging in there between supplements and all these different things, like you know you're trying you're doing what you can do but I have to give myself grace when it comes to that and, uh, I, I just don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:But I do know the benefits and I do know that you know my goal for this journey is just to get through cold and flu season, because I know how much of a benefit it is to her. But as far as, like the actual question, how can I be kinder to myself? I, I too need to give myself grace. I, um, I have to reward myself with the glass half full, not half empty. Yeah, I sometimes look at myself now and I still I haven't been comfortable with my body in like a long time, but I I don't know now a little bit more, but I have to remind myself that I had a baby just four months ago.
Speaker 1:Um, and it's never been more hard than it is right now to try to get to the gym you know time-wise and things like that you know, and that's going to come into the next question that I just opened. This is going to be a tough one, cause I think that we both kind of know what we should be doing, but how will I take care of my mental and physical health? So this year, in 2025, how are you planning to take care of your mental and physical health?
Speaker 2:To be honest with you, I think that little girl in there has actually helped me with my mental health ever since. Like having her, like I don't know, like the, the world just looks different yeah, to me like it's more clear.
Speaker 2:I don't let the little things like necessarily bother me as much as they used to. I just let things kind of like roll off. I've had the option not option or I have had the opportunity to really like open my eyes, to like what my sole purpose is, and so I think that that's actually like cleared a lot of my mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that it puts life. There's two Ps, if you ask me. It's perspective and priority. And it put a whole new perspective on life and it changed our priorities in life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. And when you realize that the little things that we used to worry about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure right and you know it's all in our perspective and our priority, how we look at things and how we perceive like their, their importance to be you know, so I agree totally what you're, what you're saying in that regards yeah, and then as far as like physical, I think um definitely want to watch our reading move our bodies more.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 2:I need to get back in the saddle. I need to buy a saddle Listen, they're my witness. I don't have one. I need to buy a saddle and get back in the saddle, because that alone is a huge bunch of exercise for both of us, not you.
Speaker 1:Not you, not me.
Speaker 2:Me and him and with the riding arena. Now, like I have the opportunity and that's something that you know she could be in a stroller with you outside or in a swing watching me do, and I want her to be a part of that because I want to see her one day on a horse and doing that, because I know how much it helped me my mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's that. What about you?
Speaker 1:I think on the physical thing it's tough because I feel like we were on a real roll going to the gym. I also feel like we were doing really well diet-wise. You know, I lost 50 pounds.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm willing to bet that I put all of that back on and that's sad to say. You know, and I guess that's one of those things you think about on New Year's, you know where, last year one of the calling cards for me going into the year was that like what's the best shape I'd been in in a long time and I was hanging my hat on the fact that, like I tried really hard to change a lot of things about my diet and my routine and I lost 50 pounds and I put some back on during the winter, but I was probably still down 20 or 30 pounds at that time.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of that was stress. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:But this year with the little one and running around and trying to figure things out. I don't know, man, I let myself go in that aspect again. So that's definitely one of my biggest faults of the year and I hate the fact that every year I come on here and that's or even it's probably it's my whole life. It's definitely you know. Before the podcast it's one of those things every year thinking about my weight and losing weight. There's no, it's not fun, you know.
Speaker 1:but I'm also going to be a realist and say that it's never been more difficult for us to go to the gym right now, and I don't know when I'm going to be able to go back to the gym because when I create any amount of free time right now, I need to go to work and I can't take time from my free time to then drive to the gym because it's hard enough to find time to put a half a day or a full day into my business with our schedule with a little one. So that's a that's a major challenge. So I think, to piggyback off of what you said, diet has to be one of the biggest ones that has to change. And um supplements for me, like getting back in a vitamin routine stuff like that, you know um mental health.
Speaker 1:I wish I could stick to journaling. I try every year to journal. I do feel better when I do it, but the middle of the year chaos ensues and I don't do it.
Speaker 2:I praise you to getting to the middle of the year. I get like January 22nd and I'm done.
Speaker 1:I can journal until my season takes off, and then I feel like I'm screwed.
Speaker 2:I feel like if I focused more on journaling, like maybe weekly yeah, because like I don't want to sit down and like, when I think of a journal, I think of like a little girl, like in elementary school or middle school, whenever you got your first journal and you're like today johnny kissed me on, yeah, no, and like I just I know what you're saying. That's like the sit down and write that way.
Speaker 1:But like I think that for me I almost think of it as like a memoir you know what I mean, like it's. You know, if someday someone were to put all my journals I've tried to write through the years together and made one actual copy of it, you could real difficult struggles in there and some you know some optimistic goals every year and kind of put those things together and it'd be interesting to see if you ever get there, you know. But there's a, there is a great mental benefit in when you're strung out and you're having a hard time and you just kind of write it out Like it's weird, but just putting it down it helps Well.
Speaker 2:I mean, I um, the closest thing to journaling that I can ever do is brain dumping. Have you ever heard of?
Speaker 1:brain dumping yeah, I think you've talked a little bit about that before.
Speaker 2:That's the closest thing to journaling I have ever done. And if you don't know what brain dumping is is, you basically just take a blank piece of paper and you just jot down anything and everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's it, like you do what you want with that piece of paper, but it's more or less like a. Lots of people will actually do a brain dump in the middle of the night if they can't sleep like if your mind is just wandering, if you have anxiety and like, and you, just, you just dump it all out, and I mean you can dump it out just dump them out.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's essentially how I would treat a journal. It's not like every day I go in there and be like today. I did this, you know.
Speaker 2:That's literally how I like I tried a journal and that's the only way I know how I did it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, if you have a day that you want to document, you know. But for me it's like what am I struggling with? What am I thinking about? What is where my thoughts are you know what do I need to get done? Stuff like. I really wish I could stay true to a journal, because my mom gave me a journal as a gift that I could document stuff for the baby and then someday give it to Paisley.
Speaker 1:I always think about what I want to put in there, when I'm driving around, and then I never come home and actually do it Right, gotcha. This kind of spirals into something totally different. But I think a lot of this comes back to like and I don't know if I'm jumping the gun here but my biggest key for 2025, my resolution, my new year's resolution, is going to be organization, and because I'm so unorganized on things that these are the things that fall off the wagon because I can't stay organized. So, like if, if I'm baby's starting to move, if I'm in a situation where, like like we just talked about, you're creating good habits at the beginning of the year, you're eating well, you're going to the gym, you're journaling, you're, you're praying, you're you know you're being spiritual, all of a sudden, when things happen and chaos ensues and my season happens and it's just kind of make it or break it season and maybe, to go with one of my questions earlier, of saying yes too often because you're afraid of letting somebody down, all of a sudden, these are the things that slide.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, I don't have the time to journal. All of a sudden, I don't have the time to go to the gym. All of a sudden, it's easier for me to get the drive through. And these things are all snowball effects because all of a sudden, all these bad decisions and bad choices, they're destroying positive habits and positive choices and that's why I'm really hopeful that by trying to be more organized this year, I can stay more true to myself and my goals and my positive habits. So that's one of the keys to me for physical and mental health and happiness.
Speaker 2:What am I excited to learn or try in 2025?
Speaker 1:What am I excited to learn or try Is that what you said oh boy, I mean, I guess if you're going to be thinking about what to be excited for, and learning is to be a dad, right?
Speaker 2:That was one of my answers is to be a dad, right, like you know it's.
Speaker 1:That was one of my answers, not be dad. But yeah, I think you know I'm excited to learn and to try. It's scary at the same time, you know, but um, that's a big one. I think that the key for me in that is that you haven't looked at the job as a whole I only look at it on the day.
Speaker 1:It's one of those things I guess they always say that being a parent teaches you a lot of things you know and we're only four months into this but I've never really been good at looking at just the day in front of me, you know, and I feel like that's how I have to take it, because when I think about like the big you know, trying decisions as a dad, when I think about those things, or I, think about her growing up too fast. It scares the hell out of me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just slow down and think about like today Like how can I be okay at this today? So I guess that would be my answer for that, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:I'm definitely going to piggyback off of that and learning to be a mom and being the best mom that I can be for her, um, that is definitely a number one. But as far as like, um, realistic um, I am going to say, learn and try is going to be like all in one with this answer, okay, okay. So I'm excited to learn how and try to get you more organized in the office and take over the office stuff.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. So one of your resolutions is to whoop my ass. Is what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know, In the office setting I could do that all day, any day, with my eyes closed half asleep. You have to remember I've been working in a medical office or an office of some sort for the last 15 years, so I have a few years worth of organization skills that I can just whoop your ass with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, what I'm going to need you to do is to not just throw a bunch of my stuff in a box and tell me I'm organized.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, no, no, no. That's my way of me telling you get your shit together. Yeah, oh no, oh no. I am on the hunt for a desk and a file cabinet and some things, so that I can move your ass out of your office and take over, because you have the worst organization skills.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm going to tell you this much the downfall for the office is that it's also my production office.
Speaker 1:So, when you come in there and it's fair season and I have shirts past your nipples that is what it is, dude, is there's going to be, there's going to be tape on the floor and if there is one sweatshirt or one t-shirt, on my desk I'm burning it, I'm telling you right now, when it's production time, every single thing that's got legs is holding shirts, baby no, well, the question here, I think, was outside then I think one of the questions, the beginning of that question, was excited, wasn't it? I am excited you're actually excited to help.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that didn't sound it and that roll of the eyes I am excited because number one when it comes tax season, this house, that office, every vehicle gets flipped upside down and turned on its head. Because you're looking for paperwork, I'm over it. Your organization skills gives me anxiety when you're looking for something.
Speaker 1:Next question let's see here.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to learn and try.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you being excited. I just didn't need the counseling session that came with it.
Speaker 2:It's almost a counseling session Just kidding You'll like this.
Speaker 1:What is one new habit I want to start? I'm going to answer first and then you can go. Go ahead Just because one new habit I'm looking forward to starting organizing my receipts. I'm going to be putting those things in folders. Okay, trying to not to lose track of stuff, that's, that's my habit, that I need to start. Did you just say you're going to? If I don't do it, then you can't organize it.
Speaker 2:I just want to say that for the last five years that you've been in business, I have literally told you different methods and ways to organize, and you do until February rolls around.
Speaker 1:I get through February, usually it's March, april. But that's the point I was just making to you is, if I'm not organized, I can't stay organized because all hell breaks loose. And I don't think that you really understand how difficult it is to track these things down or to organize these things. I understand in theory, like, oh, put this here, put that there. But the point I'm trying to make is like when you're one person and you are the marketing department, you're the purchasing agent, you're the production guy, you're the janitor, you're the road crew, you're the salesperson, the social media person Shit gets silly.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:It does. If I could pay somebody to help me I would, but I can't pay nobody to help me.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that it's not. I'm not saying that it's that it's not. I'm not saying that it's easy. I didn't say that one bit.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you that's the reason why this habit. I'm looking forward to starting it because it hasn't gone well previously.
Speaker 2:We'll see how it goes.
Speaker 1:Alright, what's yours then? If you want to shit all over mine, what is it?
Speaker 3:What is?
Speaker 1:one new habit I want to start.
Speaker 2:Being healthier.
Speaker 1:How so.
Speaker 2:I want to eat cleaner.
Speaker 2:Be careful what I'm putting in my body, because pretty soon she's gonna be eating and I want to make sure that it is a big one, yeah, that you know there's things that are not like extra processed and have, you know, red 40 in it and all that kind of stuff. So I want to start a new habit of like making things readily available, like fruits and vegetables, on the daily, like if I'm looking for a snack, I'm looking. You know, I want things like better and healthier for you to be easy to grab.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. I like that.
Speaker 2:That's my habit.
Speaker 1:What you got. What are my top three priorities? Oh boy, this could take a long time. I'm not going to speed this up if we want to watch the actual ball drop before new year's here, because we're pushing 11, 30, three. My three priorities. Is that what you said?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Family.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That has a whole new perspective to it. So number one priorities definitely family. I mean, it's obvious for me if I'm going to, you know, put out my three priorities it's family, it's business and it's health, you know, and I think that they all go together because if I'm not healthy then my business isn't going to be successful and I can't provide for my family and I can't be the best version of me for my family. So you need to be healthy. I think they all go hand in hand. But it's family, business and health for me. How about you?
Speaker 2:That was actually going to be mine, but it was going to be in a different order. But I don't want to take yours. So mine was actually going to be mine, but it was going to be in a different order. But, um, I don't want to take yours. So mine is definitely going to be family number one. Um, career and and me, okay I like that I think it's important.
Speaker 2:I'm always on the back burner and I think being focused on me is only going to help me be a better wife, and it's also going to help me be a better mom.
Speaker 1:I like that. Yeah. What do I want more of in the coming year? We already know your answer. Why are you going to sell me like that, bro?
Speaker 2:Let's just ask the day ones what they think.
Speaker 1:your answer is this is profiling, and I would appreciate it if you answered your own question.
Speaker 2:Your answers are going to be.
Speaker 1:What do I want more of in the coming year?
Speaker 2:Yours is sex and Dunkin' Donuts.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god bro.
Speaker 2:Alright, go ahead.
Speaker 1:No, I asked, asked you the question. That means you go first. That's how this works. You can't yawn on the podcast. That's some rude ass shit. Bro, what do I want more of in the coming year?
Speaker 3:less yawning, more sleep yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:All right, that's your answer. You want more sleep?
Speaker 2:No, I think I want more time for my family. I like that.
Speaker 1:That's a good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think I want a little more financial security.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:And I know that's an easy one to put out there for people. But like you know, and I know that I'm taking chances to start the year and figure things out but like I think you can only, you can only really live life the way I'm doing it with this business and trying to survive for so long before it absolutely just burns you up you know, like I'm pushing towards the break, where like it's going to break either way, you know like the break of, like it breaks my back and I can't keep doing it, or it breaks in that positive where, all of a sudden, like this, is what you're working for.
Speaker 2:You know, this is what you've been striving for and that's what you hope. The break is.
Speaker 1:But you know, like you just can't, I just can't keep doing things the way I'm doing them and maintain like a healthy lifestyle, like, if I continue on this path, then I'm not going to be the best dad I can be. I'm not going to, you know, be the best husband I can be. I'm not going to be as healthy as I can be.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean we all kind of hinge on that. So hopefully, that's you know the big one, I, that's you know the big one.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I don't have any more. Yeah, you do, just the big one. Yeah, that's it. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Send it, dude. That's what everybody's been waiting for.
Speaker 2:Oh, what is my guiding word for the year? I love this.
Speaker 1:This is the one question that we had to prepare for a little bit, that we put a little time into, and I encourage each and every one of you to do the same, and I hope that if there's any questions from today I mean I hope you appreciate all of them, but I hope this is the one that that certainly sticks. So a guiding word. A guiding word is a word that can help you focus on your intentions for the year ahead. It can be a word that you want to work on or something you need more of. The goal is to use the word to guide your actions and unify your goals. That there is a guiding word. Have you ever heard of a guiding word before?
Speaker 2:today I haven't no, actually.
Speaker 1:So there's been some words for me that I never really labeled them as guiding words, but they were words that motivated me right, and a lot of them are tattooed on me, like you know redemption, relentless those are words that I feel like, define me and that guide me. If you look at our business, our apparel brand, loud Proud American, you see words like relentless and savage freedom. You could frame those as guiding words. They've been motivating words for me, but they've also been mantras for me at different times in my life. So if I start to give you guys clues on finding your guiding word for the year and I want you to think about something that kind of motivates you, that moves you, I actually did a little research and I found some tips for choosing a guiding word. So focus on how you want to feel. So when you're thinking about that word. So focus on how you want to feel. So when you're thinking about that word, you want it to provoke an emotion. So focus on how you want to feel rather than what you want to accomplish, right? So when I'm talking about like relentless, that's one of those things where, like I want to relentlessly pursue something, I want to put in all the effort possible. I want to leave no stone unturned. I'm going to just work my ass off. So it's not about the I want to leave no stone unturned. I'm going to just work my ass off. So it's not about the goal I want to accomplish, but it's more about how I'm going to get there right.
Speaker 1:Choose a word that'll help you eliminate distractions and improve your focus. I think that you need your word to be something where, if you find yourself sitting on the couch wasting time on your cell phone scrolling around, you think about that word. If I'm using, you know, relentless or savage some of our apparel, as you know, guiding words, if I'm sitting there and I'm endlessly scrolling through social media or playing games on my phone, am I acting relentless? Am I in relentless pursuit of my goals? Am I being a savage towards my goals? That's what you want this word to be right, something that can kind of shock you out of that doom and gloom, endless scrolling type of scenario.
Speaker 1:Consider choosing a word that will help you focus on what's within your control. So you need this word to be powerful enough that, like, when you're feeling unorganized, when you're feeling paralyzed, when you're feeling overwhelmed, as your little one's cutting teeth. What's that one word that's going to kind of calm you and help you refocus. Tips for choosing a guiding word and my definition for a guiding word. What is your answer? What do you have for a guiding word for 2025 for you?
Speaker 2:I have two.
Speaker 1:Okay, I kind of had two that narrowed me down to my one.
Speaker 2:So I kind of see what you're saying Dedication and determination.
Speaker 1:I like it.
Speaker 2:Those are my two. I need to be dedicated to my goals that I set forth. I need to be dedicated to myself, my family, uh, being a mom, and I need to be determined. Determined to make those um goals reality and keep pushing forward every day I like that a lot.
Speaker 1:Those are two words that, um, I absolutely love. That I've written down. It's funny you say that because in my notes section for ideas for like merchandise and stuff, remember when I first started making a list way back when you had a cricket and you were like, hey, man, I'm not making all that shit.
Speaker 1:For you Like open up a list section on your phone and take notes, and that kind of led us to me being like open up a list section on your phone and take notes, and that kind of led us to me being like maybe I should go on my own and start this as a business right. In my notes section if you were to sort through my phone on my notes for that first ever like creative brain dump that I put there. I put my double Ds dedicated and determined.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 1:You like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was actually thinking that was one of my T-shirt ideas way back when is like my double Ds dedicated and determined, and because those are two words that I use to motivate me through a lot of time in my life right, and to help push me to be a sales manager, to be a general manager, to be an owner. Those are a couple of things that I really kind of went after, and there's some of the first words I thought of today, but I know that I've squeezed the juice out of those words for a certain time of my life.
Speaker 1:They still mean a lot to me, but I'm at a point where I need to find something a little bit different for me, only because I've squeezed them right. But I'm so excited that you picked those because they're you squeezed your double Ds. I definitely squeezed my double Ds right, so I'm glad you like those, and that means that now you'll actually wear the T-shirt when I make it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I won't have double Ds to fill it, but Well, double D's to fill it, but until we get a boob job.
Speaker 1:Keep that milk journey going.
Speaker 2:It could happen, bro, you know what I mean, not this time around, so dedicate it to the journey, maybe on the next baby.
Speaker 1:That's yours. I'm going to give you mine, and it's sacrifice and courage.
Speaker 2:Sacrifice and courage. Those are good ones and courage.
Speaker 1:Sacrifice and courage, those are good ones. And um, sacrifice. I know how many things that I have to sacrifice, uh, to get to where I want to be. The things I have to say no to, the things that I can't do anymore, the choices that I have to make, the things that I have to pass up, um, the difficult choices and decisions I have to make, you know, with a little one in mind and with the business in mind. But, as powerful as sacrifice is and I know that that's like the desperation word for me I get more strength and I get that feeling from the word courage and um, it's not a word that I ever would have um picked for myself until this year, because of the perspective and the life change for me, because my words have always been dedicated, determined, ruthless, relentless, savage, so courage doesn't sound as like fearless. You know what I mean. Yeah, it doesn't sound the same way, but for some reason it hits differently for me this year and it hits differently for me, because there's a little baby girl in the room next door.
Speaker 1:That humbled me and I needed the courage to be a dad I can't, I can't be relentless in being a dad for a newborn right yeah you, yeah, you have to be gentle.
Speaker 2:I can't be a savage and being a dad.
Speaker 1:My savage years as a dad is when that little girl grows up a little bit and then I got to start laying the hammer down. I'll be a savage then, but, like right now, that's not what she needs from me. Yeah, she needs her dad to be courageous enough to embark on things that he's scared to do. She needs her dad to have enough courage to get into situations that he never dreamed of doing right.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot of courage for me to be a stay-at-home dad during the week and to do these things and to go to these places that I always. If I envisioned myself as a dad, I never had me doing the things that I'm doing. It takes courage for me to be doing these things Now. The next layer to that for me is that, whether it's in a month, two months or three months, I have to leave this house and I have to leave my family and my little girl behind and I have to hit the road for weeks at a time.
Speaker 1:I'm going to need a great deal of courage for me to go seven, eight, 10 states away from my family.
Speaker 1:It's more of a humbling word for me, that one that I need to draw some strength in and look at it as. You need to be courageous here. This isn't the Wizard like this is. This is real time stuff. That like, I need to be courageous enough to to do those things because I'm, and that's when it lends to sacrifice, like if you have the courage to go out there and do it. You know you're sacrificing for your family so that you can come home and enjoy it. So for me.
Speaker 1:Um, that word is is courage. I actually found a quote that I really liked that said uh, courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success. And that's a big part of my year when it comes to these events, because we're going to be picking events we've never done before. Right, we're taking chances we've never taken before, bigger risks than we ever had before, and that comes down to courage. It's the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success, and that really comes back to even us as parents right.
Speaker 1:Because we don't know how this is going to go. We just have to have enough courage to get out there and do it.
Speaker 2:It's true, it's true.
Speaker 1:How are you feeling?
Speaker 2:I feel good.
Speaker 1:Well, it's getting pretty close to the ball dropping here in us. I mean. Good Lord, I can hope you know what I mean Bada bing, bada boom. Coolest guy in the room? Yeah, all right, I'm going to wrap up this guiding word.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're going to wrap it up all right, because we ain't getting pregnant.
Speaker 1:We have a four-month-old in the next room, Shots fired. I really want everybody listening today to focus in on their guiding word for the year and I want to kind of finish off the research I did on this to give you something to kind of think about when you're framing your word for 2025. So think about your values and intentions and goals for 2025. So think about your values and intentions and goals for 2025. There's a difference between values, intentions and goals. Your values are what is important to you, what you believe in. Your intentions are what you want to achieve and they are influenced by your values, and your goals are external proof of the steps towards achievement. You understand there's a big difference between your values, your intentions and your goals. Really, truly focus on your values and what's important to you, Because if you're making goals based off of your values, what you believe in, the fundamental parts of you, you're going to want to achieve those that much more.
Speaker 1:Once you've selected your word, try to live it for full impact by doing a few things Visibly displaying your guiding word and vision board so you can be reminded of it each day. I know a lot of dudes out there are saying, hey, man, I'm not going to have a vision board for this, but I can tell you that I've taken my words and I printed them in some super cool font and I've taped them to um, you know the border around the monitor, uh, at my work. You know, I've turned them into screensavers on my phone, I've taped them to a mirror, I've got them tattooed on my arms. So it really comes down to visualizing those things and then making that word be a part of you. So you really need to visualize that, finding quotes around your word or topic that you can read or reread for inspiration. I just gave you guys a great quote about courage. If you find a word for you, if it's dedication, if it's determination, start Googling those words and listing out countless quotes until you find ones that resonate with you and have a book of quotes on your words. So, if it's dedication, if it's determination, if it's courage, make a binder of those words. That's some opportunity for you to journal. If you're going to start trying to journal this year, journal off that word and put those quotes in there, and then you can go back to those certain times in the year to find that motivation, incorporating your guiding word into questions when making decisions or considering old habits. For example, if your word was thrive, you might ask yourself is spending three hours on social media each day helping you thrive? Just like we were talking about. Use that guiding word to answer certain questions for you, big decisions for you.
Speaker 1:If there's something comes up that says, hey, a or B, what am I going to do here? Well, does A or B better line up with my word? That's the decision that I should make and set a reminder on your phone a few months from now, maybe it's. You know, I like to do it before six months, so you don't lose half a year but say it's three months. You want to do something quarterly.
Speaker 1:Put a reminder in your phone that when that reminder goes off, it's time to check in with your word. When that reminder goes off and that word comes up, you ask yourself have I been visualizing it? Does it still resonate with me? Does it still have the same power and impact for me? And if it does, then stay on that word. Maybe it's an opportunity for you to realize you haven't been utilizing your word and now you're going to and you put an emphasis on it and you didn't lose the whole year, you didn't lose 2025 because you spent the time now to find your word. When you have that you know, that cue card in your phone reminding you to check in on that word, it's going to save you from losing it or it's going to give you an opportunity to re-choose it that makes sense, thanks I feel like I dropped some bars on 2024.
Speaker 1:Man we Shoot. My watch doesn't want to 1141. We have less than 20 minutes on 2024.
Speaker 2:Less than 20 minutes and our little one is four months old.
Speaker 1:That's crazy too, because she's born on the first I'm going to throw up. Man, I feel like we went out with a bang. We dropped some knowledge on some people. You know what I mean. I feel like we went out with a bang. We dropped some knowledge on some people, you know what I mean, yep. I feel like there's good stuff here. I hope that some people out there text us, send us emails, leave reviews.
Speaker 2:I want to know your guiding word.
Speaker 1:Send us a guiding word, man. I'm looking forward to hearing them. I would love to see some reviews pop up on our website, on you know, shedthestrugglepodcastcom, on you know, spotify, on Apple iTunes, on this episode. Leave your guiding word. That'd be great to hear from some people. Drop a guiding word. If you get something from today that you think could motivate somebody close to you today, that can maybe inspire somebody to have their best year this year, then send this show on over and help it grow, man. We would really appreciate it. I feel like we have kind of plateaued in the show and we're looking to bring in some new people and stir up some new conversations. So please, please, please, share the show. Leave a review. Would love to hear from you. Until then, happy new Year y'all.
Speaker 2:Happy New Year.
Speaker 1:Appreciate each and every one of you. We love you.
Speaker 2:Raining in 2025. Here we go.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to edit this thing in the next 20 minutes to get it up before the new year. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2:Good luck.
Speaker 1:Thanks, babe.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Until then. Thank you for supporting our American dream. Now go wash your bucket of ants, you filthy savage. Can I still say animals? Is that all it is? No, you filthy animal, that's it and that's all. Biggie Smalls. If you're a loud, proud american and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on youtube and facebook at loud proud american, or the page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, you want to find me on Instagram, or all the kids are tickety-talking on the TikTok. You can find me on both of those at Loud underscore, proud underscore, american. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song for this year's podcast. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook. Just search Gut Truckers. Give them, motherfuckers a like too. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.