Share The Struggle
Share The Struggle
Navigating Relationships and Modern Dating 240
This episode explores the complexities of love and relationships, emphasizing the importance of honest communication and vulnerability. By addressing uncomfortable truths and offering insights into both romantic connections and self-love, we remind listeners that genuine relationships require effort and authenticity.
• Importance of uncomfortable conversations in relationships
• Valentine's Day as an opportunity to nurture connections
• Personal anecdotes reflecting on relationship struggles and growth
• Research on future dating trends focusing on community connections
• The shift from superficial connections to emotional intelligence and vulnerability
• Encouragement for singles to engage with community activities, moving beyond dating apps
• The role of trust and transparency in building stronger relationships
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On the eve of Lovers' Day, we take the time to slow down and celebrate L-O-V-E love. What does it take to have a healthy, honest relationship? And to all the single Pringles out there, this episode is also for you. It's time to put down the boom boom apps as we reveal the super secret hiding spot for all singles to find a meaningful connection. But before all the sappy stuff, I'm going to start with some personal, unhappy stuff. But I have no fear. At least it'll be funny. Well, for you Not so much for me. I don't find it funny at all. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1:Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life. If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
Speaker 1:If you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be and that's what it takes. I'll take on what it takes To move fast. What it did, what it hot. Good Lord Almighty, am I so excited To be back with you? Oh, it's true, it's damn true, mm do you do? Baby boo, I truly hope that the sun is shining on you. I truly hope that you were counting blessings and you were feeling all kinds of special. If you're listening to this episode of the podcast on the day that it drops a truly fabulous, winning Wednesday then you are receiving this good gospel on the eve of Valentine's Day, the Lover's Day.
Speaker 1:Well, I do believe at some point in time, maybe Hallmark and Walmart and Target and any other store took advantage of all of us with this pre-prescribed holiday, and it's another good opportunity to dig into your wallets and your pocketbooks, your purses, whatever. People don't even do that anymore. Everybody just be tapping and paying. You know what I mean. Here's my plastic. Here's my watch, bloop. Here's my. Even do that anymore. Everybody just be tapping and paying. You know what I mean. Here's my plastic. Here's my watch, bloop. Here's my phone, bloop. Just pay, pay, pay, what up?
Speaker 1:That was weird and uncomfortable. Did I make you uncomfortable? I apologize, we're not off to a good start. I'm already making you uncomfortable, but the point I'm trying to make here is some of these holidays have been depressed upon us. They've been forced on us and they, unless you want to provoke a fight, encourage you to spend money to shower the ones you love with love or make you feel anxious and depressed that you're single and alone. So I'm not real confident in the benefits when it comes to being forced to do something and being forced to realize you're isolated and you're single. You're out there on an island, you're never going to make it, you're Wilson, lost at sea.
Speaker 1:But if you push all those things aside, it is confessional, a good opportunity to stop and slow down and celebrate the ones you love, if you don't get lost in the big box store scenario that comes with love. On Lover's Day said Valentine's Day, the pre-prescribed you got to buy this. I forgot what the average spend is these days for Valentine's Day, but, pre-prescribed you got to buy this. I forgot what the average spend is these days for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty confident. It's over a hundred dollars. With the cost of everything else, with the cost of eggs and gas and all those crazy things going on in the world, most people don't have an extra a hundred 200 bucks to drop on Valentine's Day. So it's going to pressure you into feeling bad, or you're going to dig into the savings and you're going to make something happen, those things there. If we get on the other side of that, we just push that part of the onion aside.
Speaker 1:It's a great opportunity to slow down and tell the ones you love that you love them, to appreciate them, to count your blessings, to be thankful and to show them just how thankful you are. That should be the true meaning of Valentine's Day. And if you're in a real, honest, healthy relationship, then that is the true meaning of Valentine's Day. Okay. And if you're single and you're depressed, guess what? The day after Valentine's Day you're going to score some super sweet deals on depression chocolate. Okay, hey, I love a good deal on some peanut butter and chocolate If I can get me some of those Valentine's peanut butter and chocolate. Reese's hearts on discount. Boy do I love me a bargain. There's a benefit right there, y'all. There's a benefit. I love it.
Speaker 1:But let's put all that stuff aside. That's what's to come later on in today's episode of the podcast, because later on I am going to be joined by my lovely, beautiful, blushing bride, the one by my side. My beautiful wife will be joining me later on in today's show, but she doesn't know that right now. So currently I'm recording this on my own and I'm just putting the pressure on right now that she's going to be joining us. She doesn't know it yet, okay, but on the eve of Valentine's Day day, she wouldn't want to let me and all you down and not show up. So we're gonna sprinkle a little pressure on her plate and I'm gonna beg for forgiveness if I have to, because it's easier than asking for permission. So I'm gonna put it out there right now. We we're going to etch it in stone that my wife will be joining me in the second portion of the show, because a lover's episode without the one that I love just don't make no sense. It's not sense-a-cool America.
Speaker 1:But before we get into all the mushy, ushy, gushy good stuff, I have a full frontal confessional with you. That has got me pretty dang near pissed off. Okay, little Bucky, I was just channeling my inner southern grandpa right there with that. I don't know what happened, but I'm going to grab my Cabela's catalog, I'm going to place my left hand on the catalog and I'm going to direct these beady little eyes to the sky as I raise my right hand and I repeat before you the truth, a full frontal confessional, the truth from this guy. I'm pretty embarrassed. I'm pretty embarrassed. I'm pretty ticked off. I don't find it amusing One bit, but I'm pretty confident y'all are going to find this shit funny.
Speaker 1:Here's a little screenshot into the life and times of moi. Here's a little preview, a little peeling of the onion, if you will, as to my life and my luck and how they both often suck. God. Here's the deal, as previously recorded multiple times. Here we are in the middle of Snowmageddon. Okay, every 24 to 48 hours we're going to get dumped on with that white gold.
Speaker 1:Okay, I used to call it white gold back in the day when I was selling snowmobiles, because that's how you sold snowmobiles. Is it needed to be snowing? And for the people out there that you know are having plow contracts and they're, you know, getting all that overtime and all those extra side gigs and jobs? Or to my brother from another mother out there, mr DCF Darren Clark Finnegan, who's a proud owner of Lost Valley Brewing Company that just happens to be located on a freaking ski mountain when the snow falls, that's white gold. Snow falls, that's white gold. But to those of us trying to work from home and raise a newborn and avoid spending four and five hours a day on the tractor, it's no longer white gold, it's the white curse.
Speaker 1:Right now, I mean, I don't hate it, I'm a Mainer, it is what it is, but it takes a lot of time, and you heard me rant and rave about this already. I don't need to. I don't need to keep going down this path here. I'm just trying to tell you. It's contained here, all right.
Speaker 1:So here's the thing Saturday I have to go out and get some sawdust for the horse. The wife made this connection with a fella a couple of towns away that owns a woodworking shop and he's trading us some sawdust just for getting it out of his way. So we have this schedule now of showing up to get sawdust. This was our first time going. We didn't know how large the bins were going to be, so we had to bring the old farm truck. The four of us loaded up an old red, the old farm truck, and we're heading out to get sawdust on a Saturday and we're going to get ourselves some coffee and I'm going to go to work and the three of them are going to go on their merry way doing whatever it is they wish to do today.
Speaker 1:Now, on the way to said woodworking shop, some lady in front of me decides to throw the brakes on long before throwing said blinker on. Okay, I ram-jam-cram the brakes to the floor here and as I do, I realize we ain't stopping. No, we are not stopping, we're slowing. We're gradually slowing. We are decreasing speeds, but not at a rapid rate. Okay, we are not stopping fast enough. I cut the wheel to yard it to go out around said left-hand lady here. Thankfully she turned as I'm going around, tragedy avoided. But I quickly realized we don't have any brakes. No brakes, bobby, we ain't got no brakes, which it's happened many times before. Right, this is an old girl of a truck. Okay, actually, last time we lost brakes, the wife had a camper attached to it. Thankfully we were close to home.
Speaker 1:So we are proceeding to, uh, this wood shop here and I'm leaving a mile in between me and the next vehicle and hoping nobody just tries to come out in front of me. And it's one of those things where I'm just pushing it all the way to the floor and we are slowly grabbing some brakes. So maybe the front brakes were slowly catching on a little bit. And I make the announcement listen, hold on, because if something happens in an emergency I'm probably going to have to throw this sumbitch in park and we're probably going to lose the rear end out of this old girl. But we get to the sawmill, get the wood sawdust, whatever, load it all up. We're heading home. We're kind of trying to bebop our way around traffic to get home without breaks. We get home.
Speaker 1:I parked the truck and I say, screw it, I'm not even going to look at it. I don't have the patience nor the time. I got all these projects to do, work stacking up. I got to get to the office. They head off to get coffee. We had to take that off the script because I just got no damn breaks right. So here we go, blew the brakes out of the truck again, park it, leave it, set it and forget it. Okay, Next day, super Bowl Sunday we're getting pounded with snow, starts snowing overnight.
Speaker 1:You wake up on Sunday morning to, I'm going to say, 10, 12 inches of snow. We've got a nice dumping of the white gold. Okay, well, got to get out there with the tractor and start making some things happen. So I'm cranking down the driveway. Everything is going nice and smooth. Get things cranked out. I'm feeling real good about how well things are going.
Speaker 1:I only have right in front of the garage and the house to do and I like to do a couple of passes up our little farm road on the way to the horse barn. This makes it easier to get hay in and out and grain in and out, whatever. So while I'm doing that I'm kind of pushing some snow banks back and I'm backing up and I fall off of the road. So the road kind of dips off, but the snow banks and everything are so high you really can't tell where you are. So as I'm backing up, I just slowly slip off the road and typically I can get out of this scenario. So I'm taking the bucket and I'm trying to work myself out. I can't seem to do it. I'm using the backhoe in the back to try to prop myself up and it seems like I'm kind of at an angle here or I'm just going to end up rolling this son of a bitch. So before I make it worse and I get my wife to come out yelling at me that I made it worse and I should have stopped way sooner. I decide, hey, let's stop way sooner. So I jump off the tractor, message the wife hey, can you come out and give me a hand and pull me out?
Speaker 1:Now here's the situation at hand. I've only made one pass down this road 12 inches of snow Vehicles currently on the premises. Road, 12 inches of snow Vehicles currently on the premises. School bus ain't even going to fit, don't even think about it. Dodge Challenger in the garage Don't even think about it. Wifey's Kia Sorento.
Speaker 1:I do not want to be responsible for ripping the back of my wife's car off of my tractor. Not going to happen. My dad's old pickup truck long bed, v6, two wheel drive. I'm thinking I don't want to have two vehicles stuck in the same spot. Not going to happen. We'll have to take all red. I know she ain't got brakes.
Speaker 1:Here's a scenario I can't pull from the side because I'm going to end up rolling the tractor, so I have to get out in front of it and back up to it. Now I do have a big snow pile there, so, as the truck will be pulling the tractor out if it doesn't stop, if it can't stop, you can just bounce into the snow bank and it will stop and I can stop the tractor, unhook it and call it good. Everything about that makes sense. What I didn't plan for was backing up to the tractor. Oh Lord, have mercy. Lord, lord, lord, have mercy.
Speaker 1:I get in the truck, I start backing up and I don't want to get too close to the tractor. Before I start applying brakes, I'm switching over to the brake. I'm not stopping, I'm sliding and I'm throwing my feet around. Like am I on the freaking brake right now? I've got sweatpants on. I've got a bib on like the full onesie jumpsuit. Basically, here that that freaking, I don't know Carhartt jumpers big snow boots on. I'm looking around trying to make sure I'm not on the gas. I'm fucking flipping all around, sorry, lord. Boots on. I'm looking around trying to make sure I'm not on the gas. I'm fucking flipping all around. Sorry, lord, I apologize, I swore right back there, but I'm getting heated already. Hope you can feel it coming through the speakers At this point.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize nor account for the fact that my tractor slid off the road, fell kind of down in a hole. What does that tell you? My tractor slid off the road, fell kind of down in a hole. What does that tell you? My tractor slid off the road. That should tell you my truck, without brakes, is likely to slip off the road. What I probably should have done is lifted the bucket on the tractor up enough that, if the truck kept going, it would have just run into the freaking bucket and stopped. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I left that down, creating a freaking ramp slash catapult for the pickup truck.
Speaker 1:All right, as I'm sliding downhill into the tractor, foot crammed on the brakes, trying to look back, noticing that, hey, you are just going to smash right into your tractor and then you were probably going to monster truck, grave digger, big foot your ass all the way up over the top of this tractor and destroy it. That's what's going to happen. Old Red, rolling on some 32s, is going to crush your brand new tractor. So what do I do? Instead of throwing it in park because I was fearful of the fact that it might just stop on top of the tractor, I slam it down into gear and I hit the throttle. I drop it in gear, cram, jam the gears so that I can stop it from sliding in reverse and launch that sucker out before I run over the tractor.
Speaker 1:What I didn't see at this moment in time was that the bumper of my truck had actually gone up over the bucket and hooked onto the tractor. So when it did, my tailgate and bumper hooked onto the bucket, damn near, ripped my tailgate off but in the meantime blew the bucket shock off of the left side, so the actual like bucket cylinder. It literally ripped the welds right off the cylinder. So my lines don't look broken, but it took the threads on the little metal like nipple that's welded onto my cylinder and snapped it right off. At this time I can't even see the tractor. I just fire the truck forward, slam it into the snow bank, drop it in park and jump out to hear my wife running up the frigging driveway yelling at me, screaming at the top of her lungs what?
Speaker 2:the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1:And at that moment I realized, huh, that reminds me a lot of my dad, for two reasons. Number one, when I was a kid and I did dumb shit scratch that Up until two years ago. Doing dumb shit up until scratch that. A year ago, when I lost my dad, if I did something dumb, my dad would have yelled at me what the fuck are you doing? Also, if I found my dad doing something dumb, like being stuck off the side of the freaking lawn which one of the last times I actually yelled at my dad, he buried the plow truck off the side of the road I hooked on with my truck and towed him halfway across the yard after yelling what the fuck are you doing? Because he smashed into my truck with his plow truck. Well, yeah. So the first thing I realized is wow, this reminds me of my dad, both him yelling at me or me yelling at him. And then I quickly realized huh, that was never really helpful. Yeah, still isn't.
Speaker 1:I go back to the tractor. I'm looking, I can see the bumper of the truck is just ripped right to shreds. And I look at the tractor and it is just shooting hydraulic fluid all over the place. After some quick appraisals. Here it appears to be. It is just the bucket cylinder that I've destroyed. Lines look good, no real crazy cosmetic damage, some scratches and areas that I probably would have scratched in due time anyway.
Speaker 1:So my cousin came over, we took the actual hydraulic cylinder off and then I spent all Sunday trying to track down an aftermarket option. But the bummer in all of this is that my tractor is so new and it's one of the newer uh like sub compact tractors. It's not really big. So there's really no aftermarket companies making these uh replacement parts for these. So I found an aftermarket company that would make one literally twice the size of what I actually need and they would make it for 180 bucks and they're in New Jersey. I'd have it in a couple of days. But the bummer is they don't make anything my size.
Speaker 1:So on Monday morning I called the manufacturer. I called the shop where I bought the tractor. They looked into it and they want $470. $470 for this hydraulic cylinder that I literally just broke the damn nipple off of, when I can find a upgraded, much bigger, much better, stronger version for $180, that right there chaps my ass.
Speaker 1:So I found a hydraulic repair shop in Gorham and I drove it out there and they're going to take it apart, drill it out, put it back on, kind of reweld it and set me back up and hopefully, when I get that back, I can reattach it to the tractor, re-hook up all the hydraulics, cross my fingers and pray that we're good to go. So, with all that said, I don't know what it's going to cost me. I don't know when it's going to be done. I literally begged them to try to get it to me before the next few storms, because we are due to get another six inches on Thursday and they're talking about a possible 16 or 18 inches over the freaking weekend. Good God, almighty, where's the Tylenol Shit Gut check?
Speaker 2:All right, all right, all right, all right, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
Speaker 1:Alright, y'all see, y'all heard that delay right there and you thought for sure that my beautiful bride decided to not join me on the lovers episode. That's what you thought, admit it. Admit it. You thought I was going to do this whole show by myself, you wish Well, I appreciate you joining, dear, and if you don't stop fidgeting, looking for things over there, I'm going to snap, because you my. Can you hear it?
Speaker 2:No, I can't hear nothing, but I can see you and you're starting to make me like itch Like my itch today because I needed gum really bad yeah, well, here's.
Speaker 1:Here's the insights to a relationship. Okay, right now my wife is holding the baby. She's sleeping. We're trying to finish off this portion of the podcast, as promised. Here we are to deliver. Um, she's trying to keep little busy, rain, quiet and sleeping. But you've lost something in the couch so you are fidgeting and moving things and it's starting to legitimately cause a tick in my brain like I'm gonna snap don't bring balin into this yeah, I didn't mean that.
Speaker 2:And then earlier today you messaged me what please bring me some gum, because I'm having withdrawals from gum g u m I have an addiction y'all, and you know it's not a very expensive addiction I mean, it can be besides my shoe addiction and my purse addiction and my cowboy boot addiction.
Speaker 2:No, this one is not very expensive, but it is an addiction. I constantly need gum, gum, gum, all the time, like I feel, like I'm fiending if I do not have gum. And so you were coming to my office today anyway. So I said please, for the love of God, actually for the love of gum get me a pack out of the snack drawer.
Speaker 1:And then, when you were about to leave, I said, texted you don't forget my gum yeah, when you were going over your addictions you said shoo, and it sounded like chew and I was like thank god you don't. You don't shoot a backy like my old man did. Good Lord, which is like 20 bucks a pouch now.
Speaker 2:I tried pouches one time because the boys were doing it.
Speaker 1:Like those little like.
Speaker 2:Isn't that what they're called?
Speaker 1:Oh, those ones are stupid.
Speaker 2:Do you stick them in your lip, my?
Speaker 1:old man's pouch was like a pouch of cut tobacco. No, no, I'm just saying I tried, yeah little snuff, patch things. Yeah. Yeah, that's enough patch things yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, One time and I was like I don't even know what the heck I'm doing, it tasted like donkey ass it's awful.
Speaker 1:I was in high school. I was volunteering to measure for the track team. So our football coaches a lot of them, were track and field coaches, so one of them had me out there measuring distances on discus and shot put and stuff and he was like, hey, big dog, you want to keep yourself busy? And he gives me a, takes a like a skull can.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And he's like go ahead and pack yourself a lipper while you're out here. This is, like you know, football coaches.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I'm in high school, probably 14, 15. I don't know.
Speaker 2:My coach is like here's awfully young to be in high school. I started high school when I was like 13 years old.
Speaker 1:I graduated before turning 18. You're talking to a prodigy right here.
Speaker 2:Most kids are going into high school like sweet 16, 15, 16 years old.
Speaker 1:I don't know the dimensions on this one here, but I started high school at like 13. I graduated high school when I was 17. I went the whole summer after high school before turning 18 anyways.
Speaker 2:Good Lord.
Speaker 1:So you're dealing with a prodigy right there sleeping. She's going to be just gifted.
Speaker 2:Were you in like academic honors or something you out of school quickly, like you just aced out of it.
Speaker 1:My mom just didn't want me at home anymore. The funny thing is, one of my best friends is like four days younger than me. So me and Dave both the same scenario. We were the youngins. What was I even talking about? Oh, can you think about this?
Speaker 2:day and age.
Speaker 1:A high school football coach throwing a 13, 14-year-old a skull. Can and being like here, go ahead pack yourself a lipper. And then fast forward to the fact that I never stopped talking and I'm in a field sweating because it's track and field and I'm measuring stuff and I'm pounding Gatorade in water. What do you think happened?
Speaker 2:Ooh, you swallowed it. Yeah, swallowed all of it.
Speaker 1:Next thing, you know, fast forward to me being in the woods at the high school throwing up violently everywhere.
Speaker 2:Oh, I bet, oh, I bet.
Speaker 1:This is not the story that I wanted to start our lovers podcast with, but For some reason, that's not where I thought you were going at all.
Speaker 2:What's forever? I literally pictured your dad like, and how he used to spit his tobacco and you started talking about like, measuring distance and, for whatever reason, my mind went left field and was like hey, boy, mark it here no, that would make sense, but that would be something your dad would have done it makes sense.
Speaker 1:so oddly, anyway, this isn't how you would prescribe starting a lover's podcast, but, truth be told, this really is.
Speaker 2:This is us right. This is real raw you leave nothing off limits.
Speaker 1:No, have conversations that you wouldn't want to have at all times. Whether it's about how big of a shit somebody took right, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's catch and release on a turd.
Speaker 2:Did you say that because the dog was just squatting taking your shit on the TV? No, that's pretty funny.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to think of things that nobody wants to talk about, but that's the point. You need to be comfortable in sharing all those things. I feel like I know friends' relationships where my buddy would say something to me and like enjoy himself joking, having like guys talk, but it would never go home and say it to the wife. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I feel like some people go to work and they release and they are themselves at work and they go home and they're not like they're afraid to say those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I don't want to live in a world like that.
Speaker 2:You have to be able to just kind of uncork it and let it fly. You have to be uncomfortable with having uncomfortable conversations. That doesn't necessarily have to be like your relationship, having like a money talk or, uh, talk about like your feelings or anything like. It has to be like talking about uncomfortable things, like I just took the biggest deuce, caboose which nobody in the free world right now is thinking oh, what a lover's podcast.
Speaker 2:Husband and wife talking about taking poops Listen you got to be comfortable and I'm not saying this is like we're using examples here people, you have to be comfortable my wife doesn't poop. I shit like a trucker.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's enough. Good Lord.
Speaker 2:If we're going to continue these poop conversations, you got to be honest.
Speaker 1:One of the greatest poop stories of all. I mean, I have some amazing poop stories but we're not here to share those. I'll add a further date, but I just thought of this with our little banter back and forth. Finnegan, when he used to work for me, he was telling me how he had his septic pumped one time.
Speaker 2:Oh God.
Speaker 1:And the guy showed up and was pumping his septic and it smelled like awful right, of course. You know the whole cul-de-sac's coming out to look Someone's getting their septic pumped, whatever, clark looks over at the guy and the guy looks at him and goes, oh don't worry. Just saying you that's a great line. I don, mentally, I'm not feeling okay Having those conversations. You and me have had to have extremely uncomfortable conversations leading up to the birth of Little Paisley Reign, navigating those waters After that we've had countless difficult conversations now trying to operate the business work from home, stay at home stuff, all those different things.
Speaker 1:Like I see you enjoying Elon Musk and Little X.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know what Little X just said, but he literally just covered his mouth and was like whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1:Oh, he just interrupted the whole program. He had this little chain on and stuff. It was pretty funny. It's hilarious, he was climbing on his shoulders and stuff. People that are listening right now have no clue that you're watching news with the sound off in the background, and I've already seen it, so I can recap, but it's almost like we have this ESP finishing each other's sentences.
Speaker 2:Yes, we do have that. I can give you the look.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but normalize having conversations that might seem uncomfortable, whether it's a gross conversation or a sensitive conversation, normalize those things. So I don't even plan on having that as our um, you know, little tips, tricks, techniques type of scenario. There. They just kind of happen naturally. That's what I love about this, that was natural yeah, just like pooping, it's natural it's natural. It's natural, everybody does it, shit happens.
Speaker 2:I mean, we've talked about it in the past and I think that it's important to kind of recap again.
Speaker 2:It's like, you know, being comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations, like before we learn to be each other's husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, that sort of thing. We learned to be each other's best friend and that's where we got comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations, because you, openly, can have those conversations with your best friend, you can be real raw and honest and you know that there's no judgment there. Like I think that that's important is like and even if, like, you're in a rough situation, like, like an uncomfortable situation in your relationship, just taking it back to like all right, if this was my best friend, maybe you and your partner are not best friends yet, maybe you're in the stage of getting there, or maybe you're hitting a rough patch and you're like all right, let me start from scratch, let me learn to be their best friend. Again, you know what I mean. Just like. Let me learn like. Not that you forget who the person is, but maybe you get just stuck in day-to-day life like work, work, work.
Speaker 1:Come home, do the same thing just the roller coaster of life and you lose touch with things, or you just take those that are closest to you for granted.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean it's easier to not work as hard on the things that you feel like at some point you're entitled to. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And spoiler alert people, we all get old. We don't all age, gracefully. There's going to come a point in time in life where you might look like shit, you might feel like shit and you might shit yourself. Right, you want somebody that you're going to feel comfortable with and that you're going to look across the couch and remember all the things you've been through and still love that person. Right, I mean, you got to think about those things.
Speaker 2:Even if I look like this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Dougie Spoons Well. My eyes crossed my tongue out those conversations that you don't want to have. Much like having to call your wife and say, hey, can you come tow me out? I just got the tractor stuck to you arriving, asking me what the F I'm doing.
Speaker 2:That's not really how it happened, but we'll save them the drama.
Speaker 1:Oh, they heard the drama I vented earlier. But the point is you got to be comfortable enough to have those conversations, whether you're yelling and screaming and swearing at each other. You got to brush them off later. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, on that blushing, beautiful note, let's get on to what was scheduled. Do you know, as this podcast episode is dropping on the eve of Lovers' Day, St Valentine's Day, do you know where Valentine's Day really came from?
Speaker 2:Did it come from Cupid? You know the grown-ass man in a diaper shooting people with arrows, which is probably highly illegal. Yeah, that would make a lot of sense. Is probably highly illegal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that would make a lot of sense. I did some research because I always knew that it came from Saint Valentine or Valentine, and I remember this story from school. But I wanted to dig into it because, like most things, I learned, I forgot them. Okay, it just kind of happens you get old and you forget everything.
Speaker 1:Valentine's Day is named after Saint Valentine, a Catholic priest who lived in Rome in the 3rd century. There are many stories about Saint Valentine, and over time these stories grew into the legend that we know today. At the time of Valentine's life, many Romans were converting to Christianity, but the Emperor, claudius II was a pagan and created strict laws about Christians and what they were allowed to do. Claudius believed that Roman soldiers should be completely devoted to Rome and therefore passed laws preventing them from marrying. St Valentine began to marry these soldiers in super-secret Christian ceremonies, and this was the beginning of his reputation for believing in the importance of love. Eventually, valentine was found out and jailed for his crimes against Claudius. While in prison, valentine cared for his fellow prisoners and also his jailer's blind daughter. Legend has it that Valentine cured the girl's blindness and that his final act before being executed was to write her a love message signed from your Valentine. Valentine was executed on the 14th of February in the year 270. Isn't that crazy.
Speaker 2:Wow, that is crazy. Well, my Valentine you have been my Valentine for the last 10 years and I have a question for you. Okay, will you be my Valentine? Yeah, aw, yeah, you haven't asked me to be your Valentine, so I figured.
Speaker 1:I'd jump the gun here. It's a good time.
Speaker 2:I have a fun fact for you. You probably don't know this and I don't know how I know this knowledge, and I don't know how I know this knowledge, but in two years, Valentine's Day falls on the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1:Really yes, wow, that's impressive.
Speaker 2:You took my car to work and you left it on the sports channel.
Speaker 1:Oh Wow, bravo, they were talking about it, so're trying to get in my pants.
Speaker 2:You left the sports channel on, so I listened to it all the way to work and they were talking about the super bowl and valentine's impressive huh and then I happened to scroll on the uh social web and I saw a bunch of people posting that they already hated their husband because Super Bowl was going to take over Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1:And I was like listen.
Speaker 2:I get snacks and food.
Speaker 1:I'm not mad at all. Some of the best Valentine's snacks you're going to get.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right there and there. I'm not mad about it, I'm mad about it.
Speaker 1:So, as we prepare for this continued lovers conversation, I was thinking about it and the relationship episodes of the podcast have always been some of our most requested episodes. Okay, and I don't know. The uh funny thing is we have uh so many people that we've met in our lives that will send a random message to you or have a conversation that says relationship goals, like I see you guys, it's my relationship goal, this is what I'm looking for, and we don't feel like it's all that special, like this just feels normal to us, but for some people this just feels right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for some people it just seems, I don't know, like something that's unattainable. For some people this just feels right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and for some people it just seems, um, I don't know, like something that's unattainable for some reason right I think what I get a lot from people is not necessarily like like you've talked about it in previous episodes, about like the filters that you see on social media, but people see that out in public when we're out together as well. So it's not like like you see us on social media lovey dovey on each other, but you also see the same people um out in public.
Speaker 2:True, so like they we're not sugarcoating it like on social media, like this is just us real, raw and honest.
Speaker 1:And the truth is is that what we have isn't easy and what we have isn't perfect, and we can bicker and you know and argue and work through things all the time, but the point is that you know, if you have the same goal and and each other's interests in mind and you share a common respect and core values, and you're going to work through those things. Nothing's easy. This relationship isn't easy. Some people that might seem or feel unattainable, but it isn't. It's very, very easy to attain if you are willing to work for it and find somebody that is sharing those beliefs and are willing to work towards it and through it with you as well. I also like the fact that you just mentioned previous episodes and I don't think that you know or obviously I know you don't know because I just took these notes in the office. You have no clue where we were headed today.
Speaker 2:No, I was feeding our baby.
Speaker 1:I went back and pulled up some of our previous episodes. I'm not going to rehash all of them here and I don't want to just totally repeat an entire episode, so I just kind of wanted to highlight three of our relationship episodes for people to go back to, because one of the beautiful things about our podcast is it lives on forever. You can find it at Shedstrugglepodcastcom all major platforms as well. But if you go back to episode 84, it takes self-love and acceptance to find happiness. Learn to love yourself and take accountability for your share of failed relationships. Doing so will build the necessary self-esteem and confidence to dust off your feelings and try again. Episode 84, do you remember that one Take self-love and acceptance to find happiness? I think those are some values, just some lessons that we can all number one, go back to the episode and listen to again. But the whole notion of you can't love somebody else until you love yourself. That might sound rather cliche-ish, but it is absolutely true. You need to value yourself and to love yourself, because you can't transfer love to anybody else if you're constantly downplaying yourself. You need to believe in yourself, love yourself and appreciate yourself before you can appreciate anybody else. I think my favorite relationship episode that we have goes all the way back to episode 33 relationship essentials, uncomfortable conversations and shared values the importance of shared values, describing them as the super glue of all relationships, emphasizing that couples must share similar values or they will live with resentment. That episode might have been one of our most controversial because we talked about the fact that if we don't believe in some of the same things, then I don't think that we should be together, because if we don't believe in those things and one of us is constantly working for something that somebody else does not believe in, then you're just setting yourself up for utter disappointment and failure. Failure, difficulty in the future, and that if you share those common values, then you're going to work through difficult situations because you're both bound by those values. I really love episode 33.
Speaker 1:And the episode right before that was actually our first ever relationship episode and it was number 32, the Importance of Communication and Relationships. I think we just kind of touched on it a little bit just a few minutes ago. But that episode, the premise of it, is that effective communication starts with excellent listening. Everyone wants to be heard, eliminate distractions and dedicate your attention to your partner. Those three episodes 32, 33, and 84, three great relationship episodes, those little snippets that I just gave you about those episodes. Remember those and think about those, because today I'm excited to share some research from a celebrity, high-end, high-paid matchmaker that is going to back up the things that we've been saying for years. I'm stoked about it.
Speaker 1:So my plan for today's episode, number one, is like we've been doing talking to all the lovers in the room, all those that are already in committed relationships. If you're working through something, if you're going through something, if you're working through something, if you're going through something, if you're growing through something, us expressing to you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, there's going to come a point where those uncomfortable conversations become comfortable. Also, reminding you guys to go back to those other episodes. Find some clues that are there. But I didn't want today's show to be entirely about people that are already in relationships. We have a lot of single Pringles out there. We have a lot of people in our life that are close to us, that are out there trying to find love, trying to find L-O-V-E, and we want to provide some glimmers of hope for them. So I found some research from a celebrity matchmaker.
Speaker 1:I was actually watching the news the other day research from a celebrity matchmaker. I was actually watching the news the other day. You and me saw this lady on there talking about the top dating trends for 2025 and a surprising turn towards how people are finding lovers and how they're going out and finding matches and starting relationships. So, before we get into the article the number one, most surprising dating trend to look for in 2025, before we get into that, I was doing some other research and I found some people that answered all these surveys and they were talking about or surveying people that are in relationships for, like their second marriage, the third marriage, they've gone through some trial and error and they asked those people on their second marriage, on their third marriage, what happened?
Speaker 1:What did you see as the number one mistake? For the reason why that first marriage didn't work, why you had to go out and try again to find actual love? The number one answer that all those folks gave was be together for the right reasons. By far the most common answer was being with the person for the wrong reasons. That's why marriages and relationships failed, and some of the reasons that they included, to be specific, were pressure from friends and family feeling like a loser because they were single and settling for the first person that came along, being together for the image of it, because the relationship looked good on paper or on social media, not because the two people actually admired each other and being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything. I think all those examples right there would identify reasons for the breakups in most of my relationships, right. But if you think about these marriages and when you start having friends that you've known for a long time get divorces, talk to them and then realize that they've been hiding their true feelings, a lot of those things are slammed right in here.
Speaker 1:I'm always surprised to hear from somebody that's like man. I just felt like a freaking loser. Everybody around me was in a relationship, so I just kind of jumped into the fresh relationship and I never really got to know that person. And the next thing, you know, we were getting married, you know, or just because everybody thought it was the right fit, we looked together, you know, I don't know. Just everybody trying to live up to the joneses, the social media, you know, filter fueled obsession with this person just looks like a good partner for me. So I'm going to accept the fact that they treat me like shit and just get along with it, that whole chestnut? Oh Well, hello peanut.
Speaker 2:Hello, Is this thing on? She does.
Speaker 1:Are you here to join the conversation?
Speaker 2:Hello.
Speaker 1:It is because of L-O-V-E that you exist, little darling. Yes, that is correct, I don't think I can record with you smiling like that at me from over there.
Speaker 2:So if y'all hear some grunting, no, it's not me over here trying to take a poop. It's Miss Thang over here playing with a teething ring. All right, we're going to try this.
Speaker 1:Because this is a lover's relationship. It's a little give and take here and we're going to try to work through this with little Miss Paisley Rain, but when you start freaking out, Daddy's going to have to stop. Can you hold in there?
Speaker 2:Let's see.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll see All that out the way. Let's get on to the research, because if I don't get moving, someone's going to yell at me to get moving. So I found this article I think it was on Parade, something I don't know, some website news, something. I saw it on Fox News. To begin with, www, www, look it up the number one most surprising dating trend to look for in 2025, according to a celebrity matchmaker. I'm going to read through this. There's just some stuff in here. When you want to interject with some of your own notes, that's how we're going to treat this, all right.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You ready? Nothing crazy here. Nothing crazy. Couple of quick things, celebrity matchmaker, relationship therapist, dr Christy Keterin, I think, but I can't barely read, so If if you chat about the current dating scene with a single person, you might hear sentiments like I'm in the trenches or it's hell out there. Dating is what you make it, but there are so many dating trends and toxic habits that certain people get into, like ghosting or not communicating what they're actually looking for, that can make it hard to find a genuine connection.
Speaker 2:I think that's a big one right. So in other words, dating is like Marketplace on Facebook.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Same thing. I guess you're using like Marketplace apps really.
Speaker 2:It's like it's a combination of Marketplace and a meat counter. You're being ghosted and you're not telling them what you want.
Speaker 1:That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense what you want like that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense, I mean, if you think about it. And I have a love-hate relationship with marketplace. Yeah, I'm out of that.
Speaker 1:I love to hate it, yeah when I was a kid, like if you go back to like your early relationships, I think a lot of like heartbreak and letdowns happen because the person that you thought was like interested in you, that's they weren't interested in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at least from a guy's perspective that's like a big thing, like, yeah, at least from a guy's perspective, that's like a big thing. Like you, you landed in the friend zone too quickly, that whole blurred line there. I think if those things were put out early, a lot of heartache would be would be saved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the hardest thing for like. For me, if I think back to it, is like you started dating this person and then that person wasn't who they painted this picture to be like. When they say like the honeymoon stage is over, like that's what they meant it, like that's yeah, you know what I mean, like because that person started to be somebody else or not even be somebody else.
Speaker 2:they were being somebody else at first and now their true colors are showing and you're like that's not what I signed up for, you were just trying to impress me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I guess that comes right down to like you know, communicating what you're in it for, and I think the invention of all these dating sites, aka boom boom sites. People are putting their intentions out there. This is looking to hook up, right. And I think people have been more accustomed to saying that that was a lot more of a no, no shun scenario back in our day. But I think the whole idea of people just putting it out there like I'm not looking for a relationship, I do think that that portion of it is healthy because otherwise you're just leading people on the whole ghosting scenario.
Speaker 1:I remember as a kid being like oh, you're not allowed to respond. For so many days, don't make the first text Like you went on a date. You know what I mean. For so many days, don't make the first text Like you went on a date, don't you know what I mean? All those pre-prescribed rules on like oh, you're going to smother the person if you communicate too early, bitch. No, if I'm interested, I'm going to tell you. I'm not here to be like I got to wait 48 hours. I'm only on hour 44.25. I can't text back now. I hate that bull.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was all always crap, Like I was not really a fan of that. I mean, let's just be honest. I kissed you on the first date. You know, just a shooter's got to shoot.
Speaker 1:You came right at me.
Speaker 2:Make your move. Make your move. Let's ask, let's take a poll from the judges. Do you think he cared? No, because he's still here.
Speaker 1:Thank you. He met me like I was a Salisbury steak.
Speaker 2:I'm more of a prime rib kind of girl.
Speaker 1:Yes, I sold myself really short on Salisbury steak.
Speaker 2:Yeah, salisbury steak, I really wanted to say it.
Speaker 1:All.
Speaker 2:right the number one You're more of like a ribeye.
Speaker 1:Thanks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The number one. I'm a cowboy steak. The number one most surprising dating trend in 2025, according to Celebrity Matchmaker. Are you ready?
Speaker 2:I'm ready.
Speaker 1:Dating apps, including niche options like single parents or seniors. I'm going to add farmers only Farmers only.
Speaker 2:I was just going there.
Speaker 1:Are currently one of the most prominent ways people meet potential partners. Prominent ways people meet potential partners. A 2023 survey reported that more than half of adults under age 30, 53% have used dating apps and sites, and while a lot of people find success that way, online dating can be a drag, so you may be happy to know that good old Dr Christine foresees a different trend springing up in 2025. One of the most surprising trends will be the rise, or shall we say, return, of community-focused dating.
Speaker 2:I have a question Did you? Ever go on a dating website.
Speaker 1:Honestly like, I think, dating websites. I don't think the popularity was like really there. Yet I remember at one point I think I signed up for like some freaking Yahoo dating site thing or whatever. I made like a profile and then I just had a few creepozoids actually reached out to me. It was like no, like didn't seem like real people.
Speaker 2:The girls and I made like a fake Plenty of fish account oh, really, yeah, and we set up like fake um, like we did not use our own pictures. Katarina was in on this, actually catfishing. You guys are the first oh yeah, and we said but we would go to wherever we told them to meet so that we could see these people. No good, glad I didn't fall.
Speaker 1:We only did it.
Speaker 2:We only did it, like I think, two times, and then we felt bad and we just like took like, I think, two times, and then we felt bad and we just like took, well, the first ones that came out like the original ones, like I don't remember what they were called, like it was long before the boom boom sites, right long before, like.
Speaker 1:But he always had plenty of fish. And what's the other ones?
Speaker 2:what are the? I didn't do them, so I'm not. What are?
Speaker 1:the other boom, boom ones. Everybody talks about tinder. Yeah, okay, that's it, tinder yeah, but um, it was like not, like was before, like farmers only and stuff.
Speaker 2:It was like yeah people used to mostly meet in like chat rooms, and what was it like?
Speaker 1:cupid, so I don't know what it was one of the very. It's like dating on aol. Okay, it was like early on and it's weird because you think about the way people go out and actually do try to meet people through dating apps. It's kind of crazy to me because I've never really had to experience it, so I think it's kind of.
Speaker 2:I would not in my like. I'm just putting this out on the record. If you decide to leave my ass, I am. We're just going to have a bunch of animals and I'm not dating in this world. Not happening, not happening.
Speaker 1:Not happening.
Speaker 1:Good news. According to the doctor, the online dating apps are starting to take a backseat. As more people seek deeper, more meaningful connections, there will be a shift towards dating. That involves wait for it shared social and community activities. More people are going to meet their significant other this year at volunteer events, church communities, neighborhood get togethers and maybe even communal cooking class.
Speaker 1:The point here, folks, that I'm going to interject and make right here if you want to meet somebody and I said this at the beginning of the episode, all the way, right in the very beginning of this, in the credits I said single Pringles I'm going to release to you the super secret, the insight on where the other singles are, how you're going to meet your actual interest, your actual potential soulmate. You're going to meet that person if you just get yourself out of your box, get yourself off the couch, out of the comfort zone and shocker do more of the things that you love to do. If you're doing what you love to do, by default, eventually you're going to find somebody doing the things that you love to do. And here's the thing, folks, shocker, you're already interested in the same things. That right, there is already a core value. You're starting to build core values. So by being out there doing the things that you already love to do, you're going to increase the rate and likelihood of which you might meet somebody that is already interested in the things that you're interested in. But the other benefit in this is the fact that you're doing things you love. So what does that result in? You being happier and the likelihood of meeting somebody and receiving that gift when you are more of a positive light because you're doing things that make you positive. That seems like a win-win to me.
Speaker 1:Getting back to the research here, this trend moves away from the isolated swipe based dating apps and towards building connections in real world settings. It's surprising because it reintroduces the idea of dating within a broader social context, something that's been missing in recent years. With this trend, dating becomes less about finding a partner and more about finding a connection with someone who shares your values and interests in a more natural, organic way. We've been talking about this since the beginning of time on this podcast If you go all the way back to episode 32, 33, talking about those shared values, those mutual interests, and when those things are organic, you're not forcing them, you're being honest, you're not trying to impress somebody You're genuinely invested and interested in the same things. It also adds a layer of support, as meeting someone through shared community activities can provide a built-in network of mutual friends and interests. If you're thinking about it, if you're going out and you're doing things that you like to do, getting active in areas of the community that you actually appreciate, you are going to number one you probably already have friends that are doing those same things. Number two if you don't, you're going to be making those friends and they become mutual friends of that relationship. So you have a safety net to kind of help the both of you go through the ebbs and flows of a new relationship.
Speaker 1:Ultimately, 2025 is all about purposeful connections. I love that, purposeful connections. I love that, as people are truly tired of the rut dating apps have created. In 2025, predicting dating will become more intentional because people seeking authentic connections rather than swiping mindlessly. We're moving into a phase where emotional intelligence and vulnerability are the new finance. Six foot five blue-eyed blonde dudes right, Everybody. What's your dream guy? It's Ken. It's Barbie and Ken that's what my dream is. We're going to move away from that and more into emotional intelligence and vulnerability, and daters will prioritize depth over superficial thrill matching. This shift in dating depth over superficial thrill matching. This shift in dating is vastly different than the quickly swiping left and right, because meaningful conversations and slower courtships are so.
Speaker 1:In this year, another trend that the doctor believes will be big in 2025 coincides with this intentional dating trend, and that is caring about mental health intentional dating trend and that is caring about mental health. Again, going back to our episodes where I think it was 32, that was literally talking about self-care. You have to love yourself, you have to be comfortable with yourself. This really goes right in hand with this research. Here. More people are going to therapy, working on themselves and bringing the self-awareness into their dating lives. It's exciting to see a generation of daters who are ready to prioritize healthy, fulfilling relationships over traditional rush.
Speaker 1:To cover up, I know I kind of ran through that article, but so much of that is what you and me have been talking about for years Meaningful conversations, authentic connections, purposeful connections, connections, purposeful connections, core values, shared values. It's good news for everybody. It seems like America is moving away from the social media dating app nonsense. I understand there's people and we probably know some people that met online, I'm sure. But in all honesty, getting back to the old-fashioned way of going out and having conversations and doing things and being happy and seeing people. Like not too long ago, we were all living in our freaking house. People had to be on dating apps, right, we weren't allowed to socialize, we had to be in masks. I couldn't imagine trying to meet somebody in 2020, right, could you imagine going out and doing that nonsense? Like you think somebody looks pretty interesting from the forehead to the bridge of the nose and then when they pull that mask off and they get two bicuspids you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Better off keeping the mask on.
Speaker 1:So to all those single Pringles out there that we've been telling you listen, prioritize these things. These are what's important to you. The good doctor is coming to you, the good doctors coming to you with some good gospel to tell you people are falling suit. Man, you can start to get off of the dating apps. Listen, if you like it and you want it, that's fine. But I'm telling you, if you spend endless hours scrolling TikTok and Instagram and the book face and what other other freaking app you want to be on, eventually you just get hyper focused on scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, searching for dopamine, getting nothing out of it. That is going to trickle over to the freaking dating app scenario too.
Speaker 1:I can imagine somebody sitting on the couch swiping right and left and up and down whatever freaking way you have to swipe on a goddamn dating app. I can imagine somebody sitting on their couch scrolling through dating apps just as fast as you scroll through TikTok or I scroll through sports information At some point. There's no connection. There's nothing meaningful. You're just looking at freaking, a filter-fueled, fake life. Get off the couch, go outside, join a group, pick up a racket and play some pickleball I don't freaking know. Get out there and do some shit that makes you happy. When you're happy, you're more likely to find somebody that's happy. When you're happy, you're more likely to receive your gifts. And when you're doing things that you love to do and you're being happy and doing those things, the likelihood of you finding somebody that loves the same shit as you, it goes up tremendously. That is my tip and trick for you if you're single in 2025. What do you and the prom queen over there have to add to that little rant we just went on?
Speaker 2:What do you have to add? Well, I mean, we wanted to chime in a few times, but you were just ranting on, so we just waited our turn well then, give me something good you talk about going out into the community and doing things, um, and I think you mentioned something about getting out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 2:Um, and that was a prime uh opportunity for for me when I came to the dealership and met you. I had never been to the dealership number one, didn't know anything about a wet t-shirt contest Like those. Things were like out of my comfort zone, but it was like getting out into the community and exploring.
Speaker 1:Right, try new things.
Speaker 2:Man, get out there and try new things and you might be surprised who and what you find and what you like you know and then I have a funny story, um about um, you'll meet the person that you, that you're supposed to be with, or that share interest. Um, back in the day, when, uh, my brother was with me, this boy would eat, breathe and sleep basketball. And I kept telling him all the time, every single day boy, you got to get off the basketball court to meet a girl. You got to get off the basketball court. You're never going to meet a girl. You're playing with a bunch of sweaty dudes. You're never going to meet a girl. You're playing with a bunch of sweaty dudes. You're never going to meet a girl. Well, lo and behold, who walks onto the basketball court.
Speaker 1:No other than his beautiful wife, girlfriend Danny. Hey Mary, yeah, you're putting the pressure on him right now.
Speaker 2:Hey, listen Baby mama right now. Baby mama.
Speaker 1:Baby mama.
Speaker 2:Danny and they have a beautiful baby and living the life. And guess what? He met her on the basketball court.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying Do things that you love. It gets you out of the house, it makes you happier. We're living in crazy times right now and the more you can submerge yourself into things that you love, number one, it's going to result in you being happier. And, number two, if you're out in the community doing those things, you might find somebody, just like Zach and Danny, that are into those mutual things and, like you said, try new things, get out there and explore new things. They talk about moving forward.
Speaker 1:The real trends in dating are like this person's a matchmaker. She's saying it comes down to like a matchmaker and these activities so like for us, if you think, for instance, we've put some couples together. We've played matchmaker before. I got a couple marriages under my belt. I've got children under my belt from relationship connections right From putting things together, putting people in the right place.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we've been given credit for relationship connections when, ultimately, all you and me did is what we always do and that was create an environment. We threw a party, we had a reason and people that know us, that love us, came out to support us and the next thing you know they're going home with each other. You know what I mean. It happens. So if you're not paying for a matchmaker, you don't have a matchmaker. There might be somebody in your life that's close to you that becomes a matchmaker and they're not even intending to. You know what I mean. Like we've been matchmakers without any intention of being matchmakers and sometimes I've done it intentionally. Dave and Alicia, I intentionally made that happen. That's funny. Side note Now to wrap up this whole little relationship hoopla ditty that we've embarked on today, I'm going to take this episode and all these little fun-filled things and I'm going to connect something I heard on the news earlier today when I was watching President Trump and Elon Musk have a little press conference, little business soiree, szechuan Q&A.
Speaker 1:Elon Musk made a statement about building trust about him. You know how can we trust you and Doge with this new endeavor that you're on? And he literally said transparency. Anything and everything I'm doing you can see. You can see anything that I'm doing. We report every single thing I do to X and to our website. But he went on to say you don't demand trust. Trust takes transparency. You get trust from transparency and I understand absolutely what he was saying in the sense of the business logic, the political logic that he was saying, but I think his words ring so true and they go on into anything and everything you do.
Speaker 1:If we're thinking and talking about relationships like we are today, if you want your significant other or your potential partner to trust you, it starts with transparency. Trust takes transparency the moment that you're not scared of your phone being right side up, you're not hiding things, you're not, you know, just packing things away. The moment that you're comfortable and you can just live and live your life and you're willing to share all aspects of your life. You are transparent. You're vulnerable. You're transparent. You're sharing and showing and doing all things you. You're not being fake, you're authentic. Every layer of your life. Transparency in every layer of your life. That is going to breed trust.
Speaker 1:If you're meeting somebody, you're about to start a new relationship, or maybe you've been married and you find your guys are starting to get at each other a little bit, think about it. Trust. If you want to get to get at each other a little bit, think about it. Trust. If you want to get back to trusting each other, it takes transparency. I learned that today from the news Shout out Elon Musk. I heard that and I instantly wrote it down. I was like that's beautiful.
Speaker 2:I love it, that's good.
Speaker 1:Do you trust me?
Speaker 2:Do I trust you? Depends on the situation I'm going to kick your. Do you trust me? Do I trust you Depends on the situation I'm going to kick your ass. Do I trust you not to get your tractor stuck and not to wreck?
Speaker 1:your bumper. That's about enough of today's show. No.
Speaker 2:I do not Do I trust you in our relationship 110%.
Speaker 1:You're going to trust me to blister your hind end right now, as we're going off the air, that you can book it and cook it.
Speaker 2:Wow, you're going to show me some attention, you're going to touch me.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is getting a little aggressive. Happy Valentine's Day everybody.
Speaker 2:Happy Valentine's Day y'all, Thank you for supporting our American dream.
Speaker 1:Now go wash your fucking hands.
Speaker 2:Your filthy hands.
Speaker 1:You filthy savage, you fucking savage that's it and that's all Biggie Smalls. If you're a loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook at loud, proud American Put a face page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, want to find me on Instagram. Or all the kids are tickety-talking on the TikTok Instagram, or all the kids at Tickety Talkin' on the TikTok. You can find me on both of those at loud, underscore, proud, underscore, american. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to this year's podcast. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook. Just search Gut Truckers. Give them motherfuckers a like too. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.