Finding Freedom: A Daughter's Final Conversation

Alli joins us again to share the conclusion of her healing journey through shamanic Reiki sessions, focusing on finding closure after her biological mother's passing due to addiction.

• Appreciating listeners who reached out with support and sharing similar experiences
• Describing the experience of loving an addict as a roller coaster of ups and downs
• Importance of setting boundaries despite others' opinions about family relationships
• Significance of angel numbers, particularly 555 representing freedom and independence
• Detailed account of the final Reiki session and communicating with her mother's spirit
• Learning her mother never felt "good enough" - same feelings Alli struggled with
• Validating moments that confirmed her mother's presence during the session
• Commitment to prioritizing mental health and leaning into faith
• Breaking generational cycles to be stronger for her daughter

If you're struggling with addiction or loving someone with addiction, remember it's okay to not be okay, but accepting help is essential. Take one step in the right direction today.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Allie Returns: Healing Through Shamanic Sessions
• 7:16 Happy Cinco de Mayo Conversations
• 9:58 The Impact of Sharing Her Story
• 18:26 Loving an Addict: The Roller Coaster
• 34:10 The Final Reiki Session Journey
• 53:37 Validating Messages from the Other Side
• 1:13:27 Putting Herself First and Finding Faith
• 1:21:34 Gratitude and Moving Forward

Transcript

Keith Liberty: 0:01

The streak continues. We are joined yet again by my beautiful bride, Allie Liberty. This week, the healing continues with yet another shamanic Reiki session recap focused on closure. Let me tell you something Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.

Keith Liberty: 0:34

If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be. Hey y'all, happy Cinco de Mayo, and I am so excited to be joined by you. Hey y'all Happy.

Keith Liberty: 1:24

Cinco de Mayo. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Alli Liberty: 1:51

Well, I mean happy, belated Cinco de Mayo to you, but to us it's Cinco de Mayo. Cheers to the margarita.

Keith Liberty: 1:58

I got a little margigo in here. If I don't spill it on the couch, listen not for nothing, but these.

Alli Liberty: 2:03

What is it? Cayman Jack in a can. I'm not mad about it. I've had worse margaritas at dive bars.

Keith Liberty: 2:11

We received some negative reviews, but maybe it's been a while since I had a margarita, but it seems to be all right.

Alli Liberty: 2:18

I'm drinking the mango one. It's actually rather dapper. Walked my tacos down really nicely, ooh Actually rather dapper, walked my tacos down really nicely.

Alli Liberty: 2:28

Ooh yeah, you did get after the mayo day, yeah, absolutely, I had tostadas for lunch, tacos for dinner.

Alli Liberty: 2:34

Not any type of taco. I took hard shell tacos and wrapped them in soft tacos for you, so they didn't fall apart.

Keith Liberty: 2:42

Yeah, wow, and I even made cilantro lime rice. We went, went for it. I'll tell you right now I got one lazy eye on the couch and I got a leg up. And there's a funny thing about margaritas they taste refreshing but I feel like they dry you out.

Alli Liberty: 2:57

I feel like having a tough time over here great, so the people are gonna listen to you with your cotton mouth over there well, thankfully I don't have to do most of the talking this time around. Yeah, this is my episode, isn't it?

Keith Liberty: 3:10

That's right, the streak continues, my dear.

Alli Liberty: 3:13

Yeah, and then I think I'm taking a hiatus.

Keith Liberty: 3:14

I don't know if you should do that.

Alli Liberty: 3:16

The people don't want to hear me.

Keith Liberty: 3:17

You watch your mouth. We left the people on a cliffhanger last week.

Alli Liberty: 3:25

The people, people on a cliffhanger last week. The people wanted to know. People have asked. They reached out again. Thank y'all so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to me and see how I'm doing, and, uh, I appreciate that and I also appreciate you continuing on this streak of reaching out to me with your um, wonderful comments. I've had a bunch of people.

Keith Liberty: 3:44

Yeah, questions support comments the whole nine right.

Alli Liberty: 3:47

Yep, I've gotten a couple of people just asking me are you going to record again? Who knows where this will take us? But we've had a few people reach out that I've touched, like we talked about in the last episode, and I'm just super grateful for that. Like that alone is just why I did. What I did was that I hoped that I could reach out to some people and um touch some lives and that's all that.

Keith Liberty: 4:11

It matters, um, because this is my healing process and I'm and I'm doing it, picking up, uh, support and fans, yeah, all different angles, like we go live on tiktok and we got big g out in connecticut representing and giving you the solid good words. Thank you so much.

Alli Liberty: 4:28

Um, yeah, I think that it's, it's special, I think it's powerful, which which you've been doing and that's why I'm eager to take a back seat and continue to listen to your story, and we've also had the opportunity to learn that a few of our very close friends um have been um have had to deal with the same situation and we had no idea no clue um, we knew that this person's um parent had passed away, but didn't know that that was the situation.

Alli Liberty: 4:57

Um, they did not feel it to be a safe zone to express that, and so, um, her and I had some great conversations and, um, you know, she's going on, uh, a number of years, um, but the anniversary is coming up, so she basically wanted to share with me that, um, some really good advice that you know, it never becomes easy, it just becomes tolerable. Right, and that's valid, that's valid, and that's with anybody that has, you know, gone on to the upstairs world. We just learn to adapt.

Keith Liberty: 5:32

There's also different, like we've all I'm assuming at this point most people listening have in life had to deal with loss and I think that they're all different and we all handle them different. And I think that they're all different and we all handle them different and, like. I can certainly relate to you when it comes to loss of a parent, but not in this way.

Keith Liberty: 5:51

And then it's also very different for you because of like the relationship you had, like as far as the parental loss, like feeling like you've lost your mother. You went through that when you were 17, when you lost your grandmother, because she did the bulk of the nurturing and the raising but this was still your, your birth mother, right so there's yep, my biological mom, there's still a whole different um, feel and process to it absolutely.

Alli Liberty: 6:17

yeah, it's definitely a different um feel than when I was 17, um, because we did share a different relationship. But then there's also those moments where I'm like you know, you start to think about the whole picture and you're like that was my mom and no, we didn't have a mother-daughter relationship and 90% of the time didn't consider her a mother, and that's okay, because that's not the relationship that her and I shared and she was aware of that. It's not like you know, I I held that from her um and she knows she very much knows that. That's um how, how we ended, yeah, um ended Um, so yeah, it's, uh, it's different.

Keith Liberty: 7:06

For sure I think, um, you know, one of the underlying themes of this that we hope gets out there to people and can can, um, invoke some change is addiction, and addiction takes many things and there's a trickle-down effect to addiction that people don't realize you know, and addiction unfortunately took your biological mom from you emotionally a long time ago physically now, but emotionally a long time ago yeah, exactly and we hope that a lot of these messages is a wake-up call to people that are struggling with addiction or struggling with relationships with people that are addicted.

Alli Liberty: 7:57

You know, yeah, I always um want to just advocate that it's very important to have a support system for yourself if you are in that situation, for either whether you're the addict or whether you are a family member loving an addict, make sure that you're taken care of before you try to help anybody else, and for the addict it's okay to not be okay, but you need to accept and ask for help.

Alli Liberty: 8:33

That's important, and I know that sometimes addicts don't realize that they need the help. But I just hope that maybe, just maybe, someone out there might be addicted and might be listening, that maybe there's a glimpse of hope, correct, maybe they have like a thought process that maybe life could be better if I got some help. Starting with you know, one step. If that means that maybe you don't get high this this hour, or maybe you don't go meet up with that friend, that you know that you're going to get high with, like, maybe taking a walk instead, just one step in the right direction. Um, I hope that you can be strong enough to to do that, because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Keith Liberty: 9:20

This is a hard road and you just have to put one foot in front of the other you would hope that by sharing your story, if there's somebody out there that has that glimmer of hope and light that their future could be changed, could hear that addiction took your mother and your relationship and destroyed it, and then took her life and destroyed it, and hope that they hear this story. You shared your pain and your journey and hopes that somebody would hear it. And then took her life and destroyed it and hope that they hear this story. You shared your pain and your journey and hopes that somebody would hear it and say you know what? I don't want my kids to feel that way. I don't want my parents to feel that way.

Keith Liberty: 9:56

Let me take a chance now. I don't want to push Maybe it's a scenario where they're like you know what. I don't want to push my family to the point where they have to distance themselves from me. I don't want to push all my family away to the point where they can't be around me. Or I don't want to continue to punish the family that is with me because I refuse to change or refuse to get help.

Keith Liberty: 10:16

Hopefully there's people out there listening. That can be impact and we can, you know, help them make a pivot before the point of no return.

Alli Liberty: 10:24

Yeah, the only way for me to explain. If you've never been in a situation, like I am, where you're loving an addict, the only way for me to explain it to you would be going on a roller coaster. That's the only way for me to break it down for you. So you're, you know, climbing the top, climbing the top and you know it could be good, it could be bad On the other side, you don't know. But then you're going up and you're going down. You're going up and you're going down the entire time Good with the bad, bad with the ugly. And then the ride is over and you have the option to get off and save yourself, distance yourself, or you have the option to stay on this roller coaster and continue this up and down cycle.

Alli Liberty: 11:17

At some point you have to be strong enough to stand for both you and the addict, and that's really the only way that I can explain it is that I had to take a stance and be the strong one in a situation, and loving an addict is an empty feeling. It always felt like a one-sided relationship to me. It always felt like when I would go to try and help, it was like well, what did? What do I get in return. That's how that would be. Her mental um, her mindset like how do I?

Keith Liberty: 11:56

yeah, there's always what's the benefit in it, for me that's how an addict functions and operates. It's always very self-centric like looking for what's the benefit for me, um and their whole support system and the people that generally stick with them, I feel like keep the same motto they just kind of gravitate towards each other if you were making the decision.

Keith Liberty: 12:17

Whatever your decision is and how you're trying to handle, you know, loving an addict, whether it's from a distance or what you're trying to do, don't let anybody else's opinion or um just emotions negative or positive, impact what you know is right for you and your heart to do yeah because I think that's one of the big things. A lot of times, like I know for you, you had made the decision to distance yourself, like early in our relationship, and you would get criticized for it.

Alli Liberty: 12:44

Every time.

Keith Liberty: 12:46

Even to this day, you'd have random family members that you know you don't talk to very often, that you've made it clear to them hey, you know we're I'm taking, I'm taking my space. They would still reach out when they saw something or heard something and then try to push you or pull you back into it. You got to be strong, or whatever your beliefs are and your convictions are and what you decided to do, but don't let anybody else's input swayed you.

Alli Liberty: 13:10

You know what I?

Keith Liberty: 13:10

mean when you make a decision. You make the decision and you go with it, because it's what you need to do.

Alli Liberty: 13:15

One thing that I heard nonstop my entire life when trying to distance myself was well, that's your mom. Well, that's your dad. Well, what about me? I'm the child in this situation and it doesn't have to be that situation, but that is what has always stuck in my brain.

Keith Liberty: 13:40

Of course.

Alli Liberty: 13:41

Well, that's your mom, well, that's your dad, you're correct. But am I ever treated that way? Of course in, but that's what I always heard. So you know to your point. I just hope that, if your situation is like mine and it is apparent.

Alli Liberty: 14:13

it's very possible that you're going to hear just that, and I ask you to not hold that as tightly as I did, because that is what would always draw me back. You're right. What else can I offer? What else can I do? How do I fix it? Because that's my mom or that's my dad.

Keith Liberty: 14:35

It was very early in our relationship when I had to tell you because you had these things, sometimes you would defend it like well, that's my, that's my mom, that's my dad. It is what it is. And I would tell you like, from the day that I've met you, yeah, you've been the adult in the situation. Yeah, legitimately, since the day we met, you have been the parent you have been the adult, you have been the mature run in this relationship.

Keith Liberty: 15:05

When it comes to your family relationship, they haven't been parental to you since I've known you correct so you're the one that's trying to um force accountability, responsibility. You know what I mean. Like it's, I don't know it's. It's hard to say yeah, it's something that I've seen from the beginning, but, like you said, people will always tell you oh, this is your mother.

Alli Liberty: 15:29

You, you know you can't turn your back on her right, exactly well, she turned my her back on me you know, many times so that's, that's a tough thing and people are going to get guilted into it.

Keith Liberty: 15:39

I've dealt with it with my family not my parents, but siblings, you. So I know and it's like well, I mean, that's your brother. Well, I got news for you. I have, unfortunately, several brothers and sisters that I don't talk to, some of them by my choice, some not, but when you're talking about loving an addict, there's going to be moments of clarity and moments of hope where you truly feel like they're on the road to normal, that they're. On that you see the glimmer of who you want them to be, or who you know they can be, but it's always going to be taken and you're going to be the one left to suffer.

Alli Liberty: 16:14

Yeah, I mean, I had a valid glimpse of hope in January. Actually, just before January, she made a new Facebook, reached out to me and for like a couple of weeks, like we and I think we've touched on it like she was talking to me like you know, checking in seeing how things were, I was answering her, but from a distance, you know not cautiously optimistic?

Alli Liberty: 16:40

yes, yes, I would say hello. She would you know if she would reach out to me and I would. She would ask me how I was doing. I never. I was very, very cautious about responding and how I would respond, knowing the type of person that she is, and we had gone months without talking, and so she would always ask me like, how are you? But I would never ask how you are, because I know that question alone is going to open up a floodgate, to be like, well, I don't have this and I don't have that, and da da, da, da da, this, that and the third. I know that's going to open it. So she would always ask me how are you? And I would tell her I'm, I'm doing okay, I'm doing okay. I never wanted to be like, oh, you know, I'm doing this and doing that and like you're not gonna rub somebody's face and success basically nope it was always I'm doing good.

Alli Liberty: 17:40

Okay, thanks for asking. Um, I'm I at work, hope you have a good day. Talk to you later. Very short and sweet, and every now and again she would ask how Paisley was and I would just tell her she's doing good. Thanks for asking, and that was it. Very short conversations, but as those short conversations grew longer, they became more, more hopeful. You know she would tell me that. You know she was off to get groceries or you know her and her boyfriend were going to a hotel they were staying in. They got some help from, like general assistance and stuff, and I was like, oh, that's great, like congratulations, like that's awesome, that's a step in the right direction. So those conversations kind of led into a little bit deeper and I felt that maybe, maybe there's a turned leaf, but still at a distance like a far distance, like a couple mile distance, like protecting my heart but being there as support um, I want to throw caution out there to people that are trying to separate themselves.

Keith Liberty: 19:00

This is a tricky thing to do and I don't really recommend it very tricky like that's very this is you were walking on the cycle of her derailing any good thing that you had built at this moment but you were cautiously optimistic. You were keeping it at an arm's length yeah and and going slow.

Keith Liberty: 19:18

The truth is, unless someone's getting help, even going slow, yeah, results in the same result. Yeah, that it's always been. Yeah, I know that sucks, it's a shitty thing to say, but it's the absolute truth unless somebody is legitimately getting help like they're checking in hey, how's it going? Great, how are you doing? Okay, have you gotten help? If they're not getting help, yeah, then you. There's really there.

Alli Liberty: 19:41

There's no need to proceed and during this conversation I offered to get her help. You know I she had let me know what she was up to and you know I had. I was very honest with her and I said you know, a few people have told me that they've, they've run into you and you've been very much under the influence of something. I don't want to know what, it's none of my business, and I know that your boyfriend is in and out of the hospital due to his drug of choice. You know, I offered help, told her that there was a few sober livings in the area, but the same result came I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict. And so you know again, I just started distancing myself. There was little to no conversation for a little while. Very short, sweet hi, how are you? I'm okay, I'm working. So it started to kind of backpedal a little bit and then, as we talked about before, she um sent me messages about wanting to um off. Herself is basically um. So this is this right.

Alli Liberty: 20:58

Here was I could see that the narcissism was starting to ramp back up based on the conversations that were happening. Um, so I started to kind of backpedal a little bit and pure narcissistic behavior. She went from what we call zero to psycho and she made comments. So then we went and got her. I tried to offer her some help again. So again to your point, I don't recommend it either. But it was based on the beginning conversations that were like, okay, maybe she did get help. Ms Thang has something to say.

Keith Liberty: 21:35

Well, hello. The queen of the Liberty residence has decided the recording shall not continue. What shall you say, dear oh?

Alli Liberty: 21:46

dear.

Keith Liberty: 21:47

Nothing. I'm surprised you had so much to say a minute ago. Hi, exactly that's what I thought. Hello, we are being joined here by our live studio audience. Yeah, clapping. Miss Paisley Rain has joined us Again. This is a nighttime couch session recording session here this evening, and part of that is because, yeah, we're recording on a Monday, as you mentioned. We're celebrating Cinco de Mayo, but it's a belated Cinco for all of our listeners.

Alli Liberty: 22:26

Yes.

Keith Liberty: 22:27

And there was a few reasons why you said I'll join the podcast this week but I am recording on Monday.

Alli Liberty: 22:39

Yes, last session with Missy, my last final wrap up with my healing with her. But I also wanted to record today, because it is the day of 555 portal, which 555 is a angel number, and I recommend looking up angel numbers. If you continuously see consecutive numbers, there's a reason for it. Your angels, your spirits, are trying to tell you something at that moment in time, and so I encourage you to please just go ahead and look up. When you see that number continuously, just look it up on Google and all you have to do is just type in like 555, angel number, and you will get the entire breakdown. And it's rather impressive, to be honest, because if you think about that moment in time, like when you're seeing it and what's going on, you'll see that it will connect with you, your spirit guides. They are phenomenal.

Alli Liberty: 23:51

So during this process of me healing and getting the news of my mother's passing, I have seen a lot of 555. And we generally will reach out to one another about 444. We have a family connection with 444, but it also means protection protection from your spirit guides and so that's really important to us. We have a family group chat that you know. If any of us catch the 444, we send it out in the group chat and it just gives you that like boost of positivity. You're like you know what, thank you, like I really needed that at that moment, like I might have missed it, but to go back and see it on my message, I love that.

Alli Liberty: 24:38

So I have the angel number 555 popping up quite a bit during this last couple of process journey, I should say. And so the 555 represents freedom and independence, suggesting that you are ready to welcome new and exciting adventures, follow your intuition and let go of the past to make a transition as smoothly as possible. I don't know about you, but that makes the back of my neck hairs stand up. Know about you, but that makes the back of my neck hairs stand up. Because, if you remember my first session that we just talked about in the last episode, that is exactly what Missy was talking about Independence, freedom and new beginnings coming. And during this process of healing and going through the motions of grieving, I have felt free and I'm ready to continue to move forward in this journey and be a better human, a better mom, a better wife, because I have the ability to heal during this process of grief. So just a phenomenal opportunity for me to kind of see that consecutive number and see it line up with Missy's guidance.

Keith Liberty: 26:03

I didn't really know much about angel numbers until the past few years. You and my mom had brought that up. I know it's something that you guys have been big on and you know since, like losing my father and going through those things, I really opened my eyes to them, looking into those signs, leaning into it for for guidance, for hope, you know, and, like you said, having the group family chat. Every time the phone goes off and it's a 444, you just get a little feeling of safety and and that you know, even if we're not all here together at the same time, like we're all seeing the same thing, we're all feeling the same thing and we're connected to each other. So leaning into those things I think is extremely powerful. But hearing what Missy's like guidance and message has been for you and then seeing that 555 directly correlates with everything that she's been saying made it just make so much more sense for you with this scenario, in my opinion.

Alli Liberty: 27:06

Yeah, I think it's really important for you to just find those, look into those signs and watch those guiding numbers, because there is a meaning for it. And in your point, like you didn't really focus much on it until it was brought to light, it's like you pass by it all the time and maybe you see one, two, three, four all the time. Or maybe you see um, 11, 11 and don't think much of it. You're like all right, it's just 11 o'clock, like no big deal, um. But if you really do some digging and some soul searching, you might find a little bit more into it. And uh, I'm gonna throw a challenge out there for you look at you challenging the people, huh I am I am.

Keith Liberty: 27:58

We're not talking about like hey, one time today I saw 11, 11. We're talking about like you repeatedly see it, I see it in the afternoon I see it at night I wake up every night at 333 like Stuff, like that Random things that continue to repeat themselves and to continue to invade your space.

Alli Liberty: 28:16

Correct and it doesn't have to just be the time it can be a license plate. It can be the time it could be.

Keith Liberty: 28:25

The receipt you had today at Walmart.

Alli Liberty: 28:28

Prime example. So this morning it is the 555 portal. I'm driving to work, the truck in front of me was 555. And I've been waking up at 555 and looking at the clock at 555. So after two times of seeing 555, I'm like all right, you know what I'm going to put that in. So my challenge to the people is over this week, if you see a number and it can be 1, 2, 3, 4, it can be 5, 6, 7, 8, it can be a synchrony of numbers. I think that's what it's called, right, a synchrony of numbers. I think that's what it's called right. I want you to take the time to throw it into Google and just put that sequence of numbers that's the word into Google and put angel number at the end and see what it has to say. Are you going to see something come forward that sparks your interest or is spot on? Because you'd be rather surprised at what you're going to find. I will say that myself.

Keith Liberty: 29:49

Okay, so you're throwing down the challenge, and the said challenge is when you start repeatedly seeing something, look into it, see what it is, figure out. You know what the meaning is and then, if I know you, based off of everything we've been through with this, the next step of that is to lean into whatever it is you're seeing, right? So if there's a message, whatever, like you just said, 555, what was one of the things that 555?

Alli Liberty: 30:22

had meant Freedom and growth.

Keith Liberty: 30:25

So if you're seeing this, message freedom and growth, then lean into freedom and growth, then lean into freedom and growth and then open your eyes to everything else around you that says freedom and growth. Now, maybe you know you're at the supermarket but you happen to see like a poster with an eagle that says freedom on it. You turn, you happen to be at Walmart, so you turn out of the freaking grocery section and then there's four t-shirts that all say freedom.

Keith Liberty: 30:53

So you start seeing these things. You're driving to work and you're listening to the radio and there's a song free as the bird or it's a free bird right, Something like that.

Keith Liberty: 31:03

So you start leaning into it and, before you know it, you have an inspiration that's coming to you Like this these angel numbers are coming to you and they're piquing your interest and they're fueling your direction as to where you should be going. Okay, freedom, I should be chasing this. I should be leaning into this. So now I'm starting to see freedom everywhere. What do I need to be free from? Am I in a shitty relationship that I need to get myself out of? Am I in a shitty position at a company that I don't want to be there? Do I need to free myself from that? What is it? Why am I being told freedom? What is the reason for freedom? And then lean into it and use that to help make decisions and to force yourself out of your comfort zone? Because I don't think there's any way that you're going to be getting these signs unless they're trying to help you, motivate you, change you, push you, pull you. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 31:56

Yeah, the nice thing about when you type in Google like 444 angel numbers, it will break it down for you in a couple of different categories, so you'll have the ability to kind of break down what part resonates with you. So, is it trust, is it success, is it relationship, is it guidance? There's so many different avenues that that spirit number could mean to you and, like you said, once you look into it and you start feeling into it, you could see that guidance in multiple different ways. So what we'll do at this point is kind of flip script a little bit and we'll go into detail about how these numbers have shown up for me and pointed me to the direction, that I am doing the right thing by sharing my story, moving forward with guidance with Missy and how that process came about on my last session with Missy. That sound okay to you?

Keith Liberty: 33:08

I'm in. That sounds good to me. If I sound like I'm running down a hallway or I'm in the back room, it's because I'm turning my microphone off and I'm trying to do my best. Dad duty over here, and I don't know. You're doing a great job I was hoping you didn't laugh when you looked over and she had her ankles behind her head and a ball in her hands Like I don't know. Look at this little jungle gym that we're raising.

Keith Liberty: 33:29

Goodness, little jungle gym that we're raising Gymnast. You're crazy. You're crazy. All right, so we are going to lean into the science that you've been seeing. Yeah, I'm ready for an example. Give me an example. Okay, exhibit A Well, that would be like Exhibit 7, because you've already shared a bunch, so you know.

Alli Liberty: 33:49

Well, exhibit, yeah, this one, yeah, but that's okay. Um, so I had my final uh reiki appointment, shamanic healing with missy, and, all right, get into my car, turn my car on. Oh, by the way, let's back up for a second. This session that I went into was not like any other healing session that I had gone into with Reiki for Missy. Missy now offers this guided reading spiritual journey for people who have lost family members, friends, instantly, no opportunity to say goodbye. So basically, the way that she looks at this is like suicide, murder that happen. So what I'm walking into is I know that Missy is going to talk to my mother spiritually medium, more or less mediumship. I know this is what I'm walking into and I'm prepared for it.

Alli Liberty: 35:15

Since my last session, I have taken the time to do a lot of thinking, a lot of healing. I prayed on it because I knew what I was walking into was going to be pretty harsh. So exhibit A, as you're requesting. I had gone downstairs to get into my car to go to my appointment on Monday, and no sooner did I turn my ignition on. Does the song Go Rest High come on my radio? I'm sorry, I beg your finest pardon, go Rest High. They don't put that on the radio, to my knowledge.

Keith Liberty: 36:05

Let's just say Go Rest High is not on the top 40 for requested songs during the week, because everybody has the reminder of a funeral of somebody passing on. It was the first song you recommended for my dad's service on the video portion of the slideshow that we made, so that's a heavy song to throw on the radio. Let's just put that out there Like.

Alli Liberty: 36:34

I just want to remind you.

Keith Liberty: 36:35

It's like watching the TV and Sarah McLachlan comes on talking about dogs dying.

Alli Liberty: 36:39

You know what I'm saying 110% and let's just paint the scene for you it is about 1115 in the morning. Okay, like we've barely had coffee. Okay, don't start the morning off like that.

Keith Liberty: 36:53

Maybe there was a lunchtime request, for you know what I'm going to call on the radio station I want a lunchtime cry. That's what I need. Some sick son of a bitch out there said I need a lunchtime cry session. You know what I need? To ruin my day before lunch. That's what I need to do. I need to be as depressed as I can before I get back from lunch. You know what I mean.

Keith Liberty: 37:15

I'm going to shed tears in a small fry. You know, big tears in a small fry. That's what I'm dialing up for lunch.

Alli Liberty: 37:22

There you go. Someone needed something. Apparently, that someone was me, because as I'm driving to my session, I'm listening to this song and I've heard it 100 times, just like everybody else. But the thought to me was I'm about to go and say my final goodbyes and I am about to work with Missy to release my mom from any responsibility that she has left here on earth. My goal is to walk in and not hold anything back. At this point, I know that I need this for myself and that's what I was going to walk in on. So no sooner did that song end? Did the next song begin? And again, just one of those things that, like I wouldn't have put these songs back to back. But hey, someone wanted a small rye and a big rye.

Keith Liberty: 38:44

Yeah, did you get your DJ off? A wish. What's going on here?

Alli Liberty: 38:48

Yeah. So the following song, same station was Bye Bye by Jodie Messina.

Keith Liberty: 38:56

Okay, All right. I mean traditionally you could hear it as like a breakup song, but I think there might be some meaning in there.

Alli Liberty: 39:02

Oh, there's some deep meaning, because I've heard this song. I'm a diehard country fan and grew up on 90s country, so heard this song, blared this song a ton of times. But what I didn't know is, as I am singing this song word for word, I begin to just cry, because the words in this song mean so much when you're about to go and say goodbye to your mom.

Keith Liberty: 39:37

That makes sense.

Alli Liberty: 39:39

So I'm not going to sing this to you. Oh come on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I only sing in the shower and in my car alone, that's it. Or when I'm trying to make a fool out of myself with my daughter, that's it, no evidence, no evidence. Car alone, that's it. Or when I'm trying to make a fool out of myself with my daughter, that's it. No evidence, no evidence. So I just want to summarize this song a little bit. If you're interested, go find it on youtube, just read the lyrics. It's not, it's. It's a lot more than just a breakup song.

Keith Liberty: 40:07

I will say um, yeah, I think when, like you said, when you're finding meaning in places that you didn't normally before, you know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 40:17

Yeah. So the beginning of the song obviously talks about like the breakup and so I'm like, all right, you know passing by this, but I know what's about to come, like the chorus. So you get through the first lyrics of you know I'll catch you later. So you get through the first lyrics of you know I'll catch you later. You know you gotta go kind of thing to. I've got my lead foot down on the accelerator and my rear view mirror torn off okay I'm driving to my reiki session and the last thing that I'm doing is looking behind me.

Alli Liberty: 40:53

That's the way that I'm interpreting this, because I'm always taking one step forward and six back by looking at the rear view mirror, always. So it goes into say I've put my heart and soul on the line, said you needed some time because my mom would always lead me in and push me away. So the next line goes I've tried all I can imagine. I've begged and pleaded in true lover's fashion. I've got pride and I'm taking it for a ride Like I have put anything and everything on the line, offered help, offered support, begged and pleaded for her to get the support and it just never, never was enough. It goes into, say the the chorus, but then it falls right into don't think all those tears are going to hold me here like they've done before.

Keith Liberty: 41:50

she used to do that, that's. I think that's one of the biggest ones in the entire song right there, for sure, for sure.

Alli Liberty: 41:59

Yeah, that hits, hits hard, because it was always the woe. Is me mentality. Um, she would have me in this grasp.

Keith Liberty: 42:12

I feel like the line was it not going to let these tears say that to me again?

Alli Liberty: 42:19

Don't think all those tears are going to hold me here, like they've done before.

Keith Liberty: 42:23

Just like you said all the tears, all the history but, also, like you just said, you're crying on your way to the appointment and telling yourself these tears ain't going to hold me here. So, don't think that this is going to be, you know, the winning recipe here.

Alli Liberty: 42:37

Yeah. And then the last line in this chorus says you'll find what's left of us on the cloud of dust on Highway 4. I'm about to close this chapter and the last thing that I'm doing is looking in my rearview mirror because I know all I have to do is move forward. At this point, that hurt a little bit, I'm sure. The next line of the song is what did you expect me to do? Sit around and wait on you? And that's exactly what I did.

Keith Liberty: 43:33

I think, connecting your story and everything too. It puts a whole different perspective on the song and the way we've always heard it.

Alli Liberty: 43:44

You know what I mean?

Keith Liberty: 43:45

Yeah, which I think that's the thing about music. You can hear a song a certain way every time, but when it comes to you, when you need it, you know what I mean. Like when you're open to a message and sometimes music finds you when you need to be found and you can hear something a total different way. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 44:03

Yeah, this part hit a little bit as well. As you guys have listened, I've put my heart on the line and shared everything, um. But this line, um, it says, well, I'm through watching you skate around the truth because I I know it sounds trite, but I've seen the light.

Keith Liberty: 44:29

Amen tripe but I've seen the light amen the fact that it was always.

Alli Liberty: 44:40

I'm not an addict. I don't need help, when the truth of the matter is that's exactly what she needed. It's exactly what she needed was the help.

Keith Liberty: 44:53

There was a foundation of lies your whole life, you know.

Alli Liberty: 44:57

Yeah, and this was just one more of them, unfortunately. So to close out the song, they just go into the chorus and it's just Bye-bye, bye, love, I'll catch you later Got my lead foot down on the accelerator and my rear mirror torn off, because I'm never looking back, and that's a fact. Because I'm never looking back, and that's a fact I've tried all I can imagine and I've begged and pleaded in true lover's fashion and I've got pride and I'm taking it for a ride. And that's just what I did. I blared that song, I sung my heart out and I left it all on my way there. I opened my heart. I truly feel I opened my heart while singing this song, preparing myself for what I was about to walk into. I'm sure, because everything in this song has literally just summarized everything. That's the power of music.

Keith Liberty: 46:24

It truly is it absolutely is. You never know when it's going to hit you, you never know what song it's going to hit you. You never know. You know what song it's going to be. But it's crazy that you could just be having a normal run of the mill sunny day. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 46:41

Yeah.

Keith Liberty: 46:41

And that right song hits you and pops you right between the blinkers. You know so for that song to come to you in that moment, like the scene was set right, Go, rest high. Let's start painting the picture. Let's tap into all the feels, all the emotions.

Alli Liberty: 46:57

And the next thing.

Keith Liberty: 46:57

You know we're going to rip off the rear view mirror as you're headed to this session, where your main objective is to get everything off your chest and say what needs to be said yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Alli Liberty: 47:08

And say what needs to be said yeah, yeah, absolutely. And as soon as I pulled into Missy's house I don't know I felt heavy again because I knew what I was about to walk into but I didn't know at what degree. So when I walked in, missy did checks and balances and you know asking me how I'm doing, and I explained to her. I'm really heavy right now. I left here feeling free the first time around and I'm hoping that that happens again free the first time around and I'm hoping that that happens again. So, um, we went into the room and she had me sit, um, in the chair this time, which I wasn't sure what I was walking in on. Uh, normally she has me sit on the massage bed, but she actually had the table set out with she was burning some sage. She also had all of her stones picked out in a perfect line which was for all the chakras. So she took the time to explain to me kind of what the process was going to be and then, before we got started, she lit a white candle and and left it there on the table. Um, so what we were looking at.

Alli Liberty: 48:38

Um, she was very transparent with me that, um, she was going to journey uh, that's what they call it um to the upper world and see if, uh, my mom would be willing to join us. There's a true possibility that she was not going to be able to join us because she wasn't ready or didn't want to be a part of this healing. I had my doubts, but I also had that last ounce of hope that I couldn't help her in any of the way, but maybe she'd be willing to help me. I knew in my first session that she had joined us and she was angry, so I hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would join us in this session as well. There was more doubt there than there was hope, to be honest.

Alli Liberty: 49:47

So Missy explains to me that she'll go through. If Angel decides to join us, she will go through each one of her chakras and clear them out, clear any voids, and this opportunity will help her and I close this chapter heal and it will also give her the opportunity to transition over. If she hasn't, if she's not completely free at this point In my heart of hearts, I feel as if she had quite a bit of work here to do before she had the ability to join her dad, her mom, her brothers upstairs. That's the way that I look at it. So I wasn't sure what the scenario was going to be. So we get into it and I'm sitting in the chair, crisscross, and I feel on my shoulders as if someone has just put a 10-pound heavy-weighted blanket on my shoulders. I knew moments after we started to meditate that she was here.

Keith Liberty: 51:10

That's going to be. I don't even know how to. I can just imagine how difficult, how emotional, how heavy, how just angry, all the emotions that's going to be so difficult to go through.

Alli Liberty: 51:31

Surprisingly, I didn't feel any sort of emotion, except for acceptance. Acceptance as I'm sitting there and I'm meditating, I took this weight on my shoulders with the intention that I was going to leave this weight behind when I left this room. Okay, I took the entire time feeling into that intention of freedom, growth being enough, the entire time that I was meditating, waiting for Missy to tell me that she had joined us.

Keith Liberty: 52:24

And this goes back to last week's episode in your first session where you were saying that you never felt like you were enough Correct. So you're leaning into like I am enough, yes, and you're leaning into the freedom, like the 555, all the inspirational stuff that's coming to you, like I'm going to free myself of this. I'm going to leave this behind me and I am enough. So you're focusing on that.

Alli Liberty: 52:47

I'm manifesting all of that good vibes, all of those good energy, because I deserve it. So that's what I am leaning into this as I'm waiting for my turn, for my turn. So as this weight starts to feel heavier, I can tell that she's now joined the room with Missy. Missy has not said a word to me yet, she's still manifesting, but she starts to move her rattle. At that moment Missy had started with her crown chakra, so we're moving from the top, from the head, all the way down to the foot, to the feet. She had started at her crown chakra and I knew she was here.

Alli Liberty: 53:48

Not only the weight, but, if you remember, in my last episode my throat chakra was very was cleared. I instantly felt like there was a frog in my throat. So not only do I have this weight on my shoulders, but I have this like almost, like you have to like hard gulp, like something is stuck in my throat. So as soon as Missy started to move down and got to her throat chakra and her heart chakra, that became loose. For me, weight is still there.

Alli Liberty: 54:32

So that to me, as I'm manifesting this good vibes and I'm manifesting what I need to say to her and I'm manifesting what I need to say to her, because this is my last and final opportunity for me to share with her, in this secret, safe space, how I feel and put all the words out that I have never been able to say to her, or I have tried to say to her and she's dismissed me. So that's what I am thinking about this entire time. As soon as Missy is completely cleared my mom's throat chakra, I can breathe again. I can feel that that has been released. So my only hope is that she is willing to talk to me, as I'm willing to talk to her in this moment okay so she gets to the, the root chakra, which is another one of the ones that she's actually cleared from me.

Alli Liberty: 55:35

And that is when, uh, my mom comes forward and says to missy, because I am talking, going to have the ability to talk to my mom through missy, so missy's gone.

Keith Liberty: 55:51

You physically speak or are you just thinking these things?

Alli Liberty: 55:54

nope, I physically speak them out loud and she physically speaks back to me anything that my mom wants to relay to me. Very similar to having a conversation basically yes through her.

Keith Liberty: 56:06

Almost like you know, she's interpreting everything back like an interpreter or like a deaf person.

Alli Liberty: 56:12

Basically okay yeah, it's mediumship, just like um kato the medium okay very similar. So as soon as we get to that part, missy says she's joined us, she's here. What would you like to say?

Keith Liberty: 56:30

That moment, just hearing that and knowing that, I think I probably shit my pants. You know what I mean. That's got to be so just heavy. I don't even know how to say it, you know.

Alli Liberty: 56:43

Yeah, just heavy, I don't even know how to say it. You know, yeah, it was. I could feel her presence in the room because of the weight and the throat chakra, but to have Missy come out and say it.

Keith Liberty: 56:55

You might be faking it, but this is confirmation.

Alli Liberty: 57:00

She basically explained to me she's here, she's here, she's in this room with us. What do you have to say?

Keith Liberty: 57:08

How do you start that?

Alli Liberty: 57:12

I had so much in my head that I wanted to say at that moment, and it was like uh. I'm sure, and it was like.

Alli Liberty: 57:25

I have so much to say to you, but I don't know how to start it. And I don't know where to start, so the first thing that came to my mind is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this battle won for you. I said I wish in my heart that she was strong enough to overcome this, and from there I feel as though I was in such a state of meditation and guidance from my spirits, from my loved ones, who have passed on that, to be completely honest with you, I don't remember it all.

Keith Liberty: 59:00

Yeah.

Alli Liberty: 59:04

I know for certain that I told her that I was disappointed in her actions and that I did tell her that she hurt me a lot, and she apologized. She said to me that she was sorry. Sorry that she wasn't strong enough.

Keith Liberty: 59:51

She said she wasn't good enough she didn't think that she was good enough. It's um so ironic and heartbreaking at the same time that her answer to things was that she didn't think she was good enough, when the one thing that you felt like you struggled with your entire life was not feeling like you were good enough. Yeah, so her feelings about herself. She projected onto you your entire childhood.

Alli Liberty: 1:00:24

Yep.

Keith Liberty: 1:00:24

But you were strong enough to remove yourself and convince yourself that you are enough. You know she wasn't strong enough to do that, but I didn't even know that she had said this. I'm hearing this for the first time, but the first thing I can think about is that here you are last week saying that you never felt like you were enough, and here she is saying that like she never felt like she was good enough.

Alli Liberty: 1:00:52

Yeah.

Keith Liberty: 1:00:53

That, if you take out of this whole scenario, should be a lesson for people, whether it's addiction or not. That says some of the things in life that we struggle with, the things that you know we fight with. Without knowing it, you're projecting it on your kids. Without knowing it, you're projecting it on to loved ones, and that in itself is a cautionary tale right there, and I think that it should serve as kudos to you for being able to break the cycle of that too. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 1:01:27

Yeah, it's not easy. So following that, she shared with me something that I found rather interesting and I just want to put out there that some people may not believe in mediumships and some people may not believe in the ability to talk to the times during this that Missy validated that it was my mom in ways that Missy has no idea that she validated it was my mom. So as we're in the thick of it, my mom comes forward and says they're going to give me a second chance.

Keith Liberty: 1:02:28

She said you're going to give me. Is that what you said?

Alli Liberty: 1:02:31

No, they are going to give me a second chance.

Keith Liberty: 1:02:37

Huh.

Alli Liberty: 1:02:39

And I stopped and I thought about that for a moment and without even a filter, because y'all know me by now I said I hope you're right and I hope this time you make better choices hey, you gave a hundred chances, so you're not lying yep.

Keith Liberty: 1:03:07

Following that statement, she said to me I'm with my dad I wonder if she's making the statement that they are going to give me a second chance, as in the family that she's had severed ties with when she was here. You know what I mean. I wonder if her dad and her mom Nana Pegg stuff like that. I wonder if that's, I can only hope Nana Peg stuff like that. I wonder if that's.

Alli Liberty: 1:03:40

I can only hope.

Keith Liberty: 1:03:42

And you know. Thankfully, at this point we're hearing that she has transitioned over, because we know, and I guess it would connect the dots right Because the week previous she hadn't. And now she's saying they're going to give me a second chance, so maybe that's part of the process of transitioning to heaven and she's been granted this opportunity. I guess, I don't know. I mean, here we are just trying to put it together, but yeah there's multiple ways for us to kind of dissect this situation.

Alli Liberty: 1:04:11

It's a possibility that you know they're going to give her a second chance to rejoin us in another maybe she's she's reincarnated, Maybe she yeah, or to your point, maybe they're going to give her a second chance and she's going to be able to join with her dad.

Alli Liberty: 1:04:30

I can only hope either way. But my words to her were I hope you make better choices this next time around, time around. So there was so much said and so much left on the table from my point. Very, very limited information was given to me from Angel's side.

Keith Liberty: 1:05:10

And that's because that's how our conversations were, so even now.

Alli Liberty: 1:05:14

Nothing's changed, no, Except for the fact that I finally had the opportunity to shed this heartache and shed all that I've been holding on to for so long, just bottled up inside. I had the opportunity to tell her anything and everything that I wanted to say. Not once was I interrupted, not once was I interrupted, not once was I told. None of this is true. Not once was I told. You're lying, fuck you. None of that. It was me spilling my heart and she was just there in the room, present to hear what I have to say, and I wish that I could remember all that I said, because there was some healing in that, because the entire time that I am spilling my heart out, I just have tears just rolling down my face, the entire time, because the little girl inside of me had so much to say.

Alli Liberty: 1:06:36

I didn't prepare anything to, I didn't write anything, I didn't prepare anything. I just ripped the band-aid off and just let it all out. All of it Left nothing unsaid, good, bad or otherwise. Whether she wanted to hear it or not, she heard it. So to validate one last time and again Missy doesn't know. My mom, and this is very important Missy said to me is there anything else that you'd like to tell her? And I said, yeah, I want you to tell her that I love her and I just sat there and cried as Missy finished wrapping up clearing her chakras.

Alli Liberty: 1:07:50

So Missy ended the session. And after she ended the session and sealed this healing with love and light, as she always says to me, she said I want to share something with you. I didn't want to say it during the session because I felt that it was rude. I laughed. I said sounds about right if it comes to my mom. I remember how she was rude to you at my last session. She says oh yeah. She said here too, some things just never change yeah the way my mom ended this session was.

Alli Liberty: 1:08:59

She said all right, right, that's enough. I've had enough. I've heard what I need to hear. I'm done here.

Keith Liberty: 1:09:09

It's the way she would have ended every conversation that wasn't going her way.

Alli Liberty: 1:09:13

Every conversation I had with her.

Keith Liberty: 1:09:15

Clearly, nothing's changed Nothing and the second chance that you've been granted you are going to piss away, unless whatever you said finally resonated.

Alli Liberty: 1:09:28

I can only hope Missy said I will let you know that when I asked you if there was anything else that you'd like to say and you said I love you and closed the healing. So you'd like to say, and you said I love you and closed the healing. She was off in the distance but she did yell. Tell her I love her.

Alli Liberty: 1:09:53

Wow.

Alli Liberty: 1:09:56

Moments during this session were validated that it was my mom.

Keith Liberty: 1:10:02

Without question.

Alli Liberty: 1:10:05

And that final wrap up, I said to Missy you don't know my mom, but that was her, yeah, and I thank you for that.

Keith Liberty: 1:10:21

It's almost as if she had shown up and just been sweet, innocent, understanding and apologetic, you could have said like, I don't think that was her. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 1:10:32

Correct, correct I've learned so much during this process, a lot about myself, during this journey. What I've learned the most is that it's time to put myself first. To put myself first. It's time that I focus on my own mental health, my own well-being, because you can't fill anyone else's cup up if yours is empty, and I got to the point where I was running on fumes and I didn't have anything to give, but I'd sure as hell try, even if my cup was empty.

Alli Liberty: 1:11:34

Mental health is so important in every situation, from your job To your home life, just being a good human, your mental health is very, very important.

Alli Liberty: 1:11:56

So, with that being said, I have decided to put myself forward, to focus on being a better human all around, and I've decided that it's time for me to lean more towards my faith. I feel I have a real good connection with the spiritual side, my loved ones upstairs, and I pray to them constantly. When I need help, when I need guidance, I look for those numbers, those symbols, but I think there's something a little bit deeper on that and I think, now more than ever, I'm going to dig in a little bit deeper on my faith and find God during this journey. I've purchased a Bible. I've had one given to me and I'm going to see where this journey takes me, because I deserve this and I want to be the best mom that that little girl can have and she deserves. I think that's important. If nothing else. She deserves a strong-willed mom who can conquer all that I've been through and still come out on top.

Keith Liberty: 1:13:32

I think that's incredibly inspiring. I think that it's of the utmost importance the perspective that you've put on this, that you're going to do this first and foremost for you and you're going to do it for your daughter. You're going to lean into your faith, you're going to prioritize you, you're cutting out the negativity in life and the people and relationships that don't serve you, that drain you. You've learned so much. This stuff has all been put in a whole different perspective.

Keith Liberty: 1:14:17

You've made multiple connections since sharing your story and being bold enough and strong enough to come on here and say that you're going to lean into your faith over this. You didn't just purchase a Bible. You have a study Bible. You're dedicated to figuring things out and really understanding God and all the meanings and all the wisdom, and we're going to go on this journey together, because that's what I feel like healthy relationships do. And I just want to thank you for the past few weeks sharing your story, being courageous enough to share things from the heart, as they happened when you found out whether it be the news, the feeling and going through that there's no going back on that the power of sharing your emotions raw, as they happened. It's so beneficial for anybody that was listening and then continuing to do so with these Reiki sessions that you've had. I think there's a great deal of power and lesson and inspiration for people that have listened over the past few weeks and I'm so thankful that you did it and I'm so incredibly thankful that you're my wife and best friend.

Alli Liberty: 1:15:43

Thanks, Sonia. Are you trying to make me cry?

Keith Liberty: 1:15:46

You've already done that, but I'll throw this baby's toy at you. That's not very nice. It's soft, though it won't hurt you. It'll just break your concentration.

Alli Liberty: 1:15:53

Well, I appreciate you being here through it all, from learning my story to being a part of my story, to growing with me in this story, because Lord knows where I would be if it wasn't for you.

Keith Liberty: 1:16:14

I'm not going to take any credit for that. You did all the hard work. God put us in the right place at the right time and it was up to us to do the rest. You know.

Alli Liberty: 1:16:25

Yeah, I agree with you 110%, but I think that there's a little more to the story. I think if it wasn't for you a whole long time ago, shedding light on something as small as me smoking weed a whole long time ago, shedding light on something as small as me smoking weed a whole long time ago, I could have just been another statistic and we've talked about that on other podcast episodes and there was something about you that meant more to me than just some weed and therefore I knew that you were the focus. And if it wasn't for you standing by my side and also seeing the true potential that we had to grow, who knows where I'd be at this point. I could have just fallen in a rabbit hole like most statistics, and instead, here we are, growing, striving with our beautiful little family, and for that I'm super thankful striving with our beautiful little family and for that I'm super thankful.

Keith Liberty: 1:17:49

It's crazy to think how you know people's paths cross at the right time for the right reasons and how much of a difference that it makes.

Keith Liberty: 1:17:52

You know I think about some of the roads I was going down on my own as well, and who I could be and where I might be had I not tried to change my direction at the same time. You know we were talking about this with this story with Angel, that you know it's. We could get into it on another, another date. But I mean you have her phone and there's countless messages that were coming across from kids that you grew up with.

Alli Liberty: 1:18:28

Yeah, kids, I graduated school with.

Keith Liberty: 1:18:30

Not checking in on her.

Alli Liberty: 1:18:32

No.

Keith Liberty: 1:18:34

There is kids that you grew up with that were buying drugs from her, looking to get high with her, making cash transactions with her.

Alli Liberty: 1:18:46

There's contacts in her phone that say Allie's friend from high school. It doesn't say Allie. Let me rephrase that Allison's friend from high school. Yeah, Come on. Allison's friend from high school.

Keith Liberty: 1:19:04

Yeah, come on. When there's cash app transactions and you know all the names on there because you grew up with them, it just goes to show the life that you could have been living. You know what I mean.

Alli Liberty: 1:19:13

I have a hard time walking around town.

Keith Liberty: 1:19:16

Yeah.

Alli Liberty: 1:19:18

Because I'll tell you right now the thought of coming across any of them in person beforehand, before my healing journey. I would have blasted every single one of them, right?

Keith Liberty: 1:19:30

in the teeth.

Alli Liberty: 1:19:32

It still hurts. I don't have, I don't want to say I don't have the urge to punch them, but I don't like what's it do it do nothing you know what I mean nothing.

Keith Liberty: 1:19:43

You know their direction, you know their life, you know right, right what I love to smoke them oh, all day all day dust the brakes off them. You bet, you bet it's just crazy how um life works. And yeah, life works.

Alli Liberty: 1:20:01

There's some interesting conversations that I've seen on her phone and in her belongings that you're like, wow, those people are only in it for one reason and that's to get high.

Keith Liberty: 1:20:20

Another story for another day, unfortunately, but until then, thank you for everything, thank you for being bold and brave and sharing all this. I know it's going to make a difference. It's going to continue to make a difference because it already has. I'm proud of you.

Alli Liberty: 1:20:37

Thanks, thank you to everybody who's reached out. I appreciate that your kind words are forever grateful. This is not an easy time at all, but I'm taking it to the chin one day at a time and staying strong, and I'm about to bust open my Bible and figure out where God's going to take me this is a bumpy road and a buttercup. I'm buckled in.

Keith Liberty: 1:21:04

All right, Until the next time. Thank you for supporting our American dream.

Alli Liberty: 1:21:12

Not going to wash you filthy savage.

Keith Liberty: 1:21:17

That's it and that's all Biggie Smalls. If you're a Loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook. At Loud, proud American, proud american. Put the face page, as my mama calls it. If you're a fan of the graham cracker, you want to find me on instagram. Or all the kids by tickety talking on the tiktok you can find me on both of those. At loud, underscore, proud, underscore American. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song for this year's podcast. If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook.

Alli Liberty: 1:22:40

Just search Gut Truckers, give them motherfuckers a like too.

Keith Liberty: 1:22:45

I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.