The US twists the knife further into the Assange travesty. In Turkey, a drunk and "missing" man joins his own search party—you'll never believe what happens next! The concept of time is just, like, your opinion, man. [sings] All the single peasants (all the single peasants). The CIA's rife with pedophiles who totally evade all punishment by virtue of "protecting national security" (Also, this just in: the sky is blue). There are living bridges in northeastern India. The US can't stop voting in favor of Nazis at the UN. Black Friday remains a terrifying representation of US culture.
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