She Surrenders - The Podcast
She Surrenders is where we talk about faith, addiction, and women all in the same place. Sherry’s 10-year struggle with alcohol ended in surrender to God and a 1,000-mile bike trip. There is an easier way! Sherry started She Surrenders out of a place of needing to find other women of faith struggling with their secrets of addiction. Her heart is to share everything about recovery and what it looks like to surrender to God and the life He calls you to live. Whatever you struggle with, you are in the right place to find encouragement and comfort that you are not alone. We all have our stuff.
Its about time we learn from each other and share our stories of surrender and the joy that can be found in a life living in recovery as a woman who loves the Lord.
She Surrenders - The Podcast
Ep 57 | Savoring a Sober Summer: Embracing Joy, Clarity, and Faith
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Ever wondered how much more vibrant your summer could be without the haze of alcohol? Join us on this special episode of the She Surrenders podcast, where we explore the joys of a sober summer alongside our amazing guests from Joyful Surrender. They share their heartfelt stories and insights on trading chaotic, regret-filled days for enriching, memorable moments. Through laughter and camaraderie, we discuss the importance of having a plan, setting realistic expectations, and embracing the clarity and presence that come with sobriety.
This conversation highlights the power of community and faith-based recovery, showing how surrendering our past to God can lead to a fulfilling, joyous life. Get ready for an uplifting discussion that showcases the miracle of recovery and the vibrant, rewarding life that sobriety brings.
*This conversation is part of a previous recording from May 2022.
About the She Surrenders Podcast:
On the She Surrenders podcast we are talking about women, faith and addiction all on the same platform. There are many podcasts for women and sobriety, but very few for women seeking information and stories from others about faith-based recovery.
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Find us on Instagram @shesurrenders_sherry, on Facebook @shesurrenderssherry, and online at www.shesurrenders.com.
Welcome back to the she Surrenders podcast. My name is Sheri and my goal for this podcast is to bring you the good news that faith-based recovery works, and it is where you will find the joy in life that you did not think was possible while you were still in the bondage of addiction. The stories you will hear from the women, and sometimes men, of those that have walked in your shoes or alongside someone who has, will inspire you to pursue the freedom they have found. That comes from surrendering not only our addictions but also our guilt and our shame to God. Matthew 19, verse 26, tells us that Jesus said With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. I pray you hear something today that brings you to a new understanding that this is true for you too, because it is Now on to our guest.
Speaker 1Welcome back to the she Surrenders podcast, and we have a special episode of the Sober Circle.
Speaker 1You might remember that we did some of those over the holidays last year and a little bit into the new year, and we thought it was time to get together again and talk about being sober in the summer.
Speaker 1So tonight we have Callie and Lynn, debbie, michelle and Terry, and we've got a little input for you about what sober summers can look like, if you're thinking about getting sober or you're approaching your first summer of sobriety. We just have some things we want to share with you, but we thought it might be good to point out what not sober in the summer looks like, and we had a lot to say about that. So my first thought was that my days would be a lot longer because they were very short when I was drinking in the summer. Would be a lot longer because they were very short when I was drinking in the summer, because happy hour in the summer can start at two in the afternoon or earlier. As far as I was concerned, depended on where we were, and by the end of the summer I remember thinking where did my summer go? Well, duh.
Speaker 2So anybody else got one we used to go to the lake every, every weekend really, um, as soon as we could, and I remember I'm um unloading the back of our, our suv, um, to bring everything over to our boat and whatever, and someone coming up to me asking us if we were having a party, because and I'm like, oh no, this is for friday through sunday for technically two people, but but that's what my non-sober yeah, I think you probably had more money at the end of the summer than what you did.
Speaker 2Oh, yeah, probably, yeah, probably.
Speaker 1Oh, that's a good one, debbie Callie did you have one.
Speaker 4Well, I just think about what you know, you think of summer and drinking go hand in hand the party and then the reality is like you wake up the next morning and you don't know what you did or who you said what to, and people are kind of looking at you like wow, Wow. At you like wow, uh, wow. You're scared to say anything because you're so full of shame and like what stupid thing did I do? And then maybe go into the fridge to get something to drink and you see that you know you had this jumbo bottle of wine and it's it's not in there and you drank it all yourself.
Speaker 4How disgusting yeah or you know, you see stuff, food that you ate, you don't even remember, just it's so gross, and that you know that's the fun. We think we're missing and and, like you said, the summer goes so fast and you have no like, you have maybe two memories because you were tanked the whole time. So, yeah, summer's so much slower and I have lasting memories now as a sober person and that's a great segue into what a sober summer can look like.
Speaker 1So we laugh about the things that we just talked about, but we have to because they almost seem unreal, at least to me, like I can't believe. I chose that every day and but, yeah, when I was in it I thought it was the only way. So we're here to share with you that there is another way, a much better way. So we all came up with some tips about sober summers, or just sharing some joys of being sober in the summer. Now, and I got sober in November. So I had a while to think about what it was going to be like to be sober in the summer, and I didn't take a lot of action. Instead, I did a lot of dreaming, which I thought everything would come true because I quit drinking. So I was. I was going to be much thinner. I was probably going to run a lot you know, get up really early in the morning to go exercise and maybe yoga on a paddleboard.
Speaker 1You know there's a lot of reasons that didn't happen, but I had all these expectations and they were set pretty high and I set myself up for disappointment because none of those things happened, because I didn't work on any of them. I didn't have a plan for, you know, how to lose weight before summer. I didn't have a plan for, you know, starting a new exercise routine. I didn't have a plan for a lot of things.
Speaker 1That summer taught me, though, that if I want some things to evolve, I have to work on them, and, honestly, working on them was a good thing. I did quite a few things that first summer that I remember being like, wow, you know, that was much better. That was something I didn't do while I was drinking, whether it was sitting on the beach reading a book or, you know, going to play tennis with my daughter. Well, I, I, who am I kidding? I never played tennis, but I mean, I might've went and watched her play tennis, which is probably more truthful, but, you know, just being available, so you wouldn't have done that if you'd been drinking, though.
Speaker 1Or I might've tried had I been drinking, and that would not have ended well. So anyway, but yeah, so that's kind of where my mind goes. So who's got another one?
Speaker 3Lynn, yeah, it makes me think about, you know, my first year of the summer. You know I, you know, scared, I didn't really know what, you know what I was going to do. But I surrounded myself with a lot of sober people and and I found people that that had been sober a long time, that were having fun, and I was like, okay, I want what they have. And you know, over the years, you know I had so much fun, you know, just taking that leap of you know, being with them and and seeing how much fun that they had when they were having fun sober. And I just had one that I just thought about early on in my recovery my sister and my niece and I and our husband went to Disneyland and my sister and her husband drank the whole way through Disneyland and my niece was like Auntie Lynn, you have to go on every single ride. And I went on every, from the morning till the night, every single ride with her, while my sister proceeded to drink the whole way through Disneyland.
Speaker 3And you know what I have that memory and my niece has that memory. It was the best you know and Kathy talks about it now. She's like that was the worst time that that that we had, you know, and I was like, yeah, I have that memory and I was like a kid and you know, I was maybe four years sober and you know what. There's just so much fun that you can have and even just you know, I'm in Michigan and I just love just to go walk on the pier, you know, get up early in the morning, go to the market and just you know, and pray and I don't know, I mean, I'm just so much happier sober so that's a good one.
Speaker 1I love that. And you just reminded me of another one that you know. You said feel like a kid again. So one of the reasons I love biking is because it does make me feel like a kid again. It's the closest thing to flying that you can, that you can do as far as I'm concerned. But, um, find something that reminds you of your youth and invigorates you and makes you smile, and that can look like so many things, um, but for me it was biking. And when the shift happened, when I wasn't biking, with hangovers to, you know, biking and feeling good, that was a huge thing. And, um, even when I had not drank for a while, you know, and was biking, the difference of feeling, of how I felt after six months of sobriety and then, you know, jumping back into that sport, was huge. You know, I just felt like a whole new person.
Speaker 4And you get up in the morning and get going, like playing, riding your bike, whatever, having lunch outside, going to the pool and like swimming, and then getting out and laying down and listening to the sounds of like you know it kind of lulls you to sleep and having a popsicle.
Speaker 4And I'm telling you, as an adult, you just don't do those simple little things that truly will bring you joy and make you think of times when your life was so simple and sweet. And you know, those are kind of the things that I see now, being sober, that I mean no way. In my drinking days I didn't notice anything. I thought I did, but you don't notice anything Because your priority is just what you're going to drink next and you don't observe anything around you. So I think I'm with you on that Like, think of what made you happy as a kid and as simple, sweet little things as it is, make it a part of your day. And it doesn't have to. You don't have to move mountains, you just just stop and remember who you used to be and what brought you joy.
Speaker 1Yeah, definitely, definitely, michelle. You had one.
Speaker 6Well, just to just to piggyback on what you just said, callie, is in our childhood we didn't rely on alcohol to have fun or to be social or any of those things, like everything that you mentioned, callie, just the simple things that we did and just hanging out with friends, or we didn't, we didn't use, we didn't we the thought of having alcohol just wasn't part of the equation. So it's, it's kind of a rediscovery of that.
Speaker 6And aren't those like your best memories? Yes, yes, and they were all just simple things, just simple things, and we weren't numbing ourselves.
Speaker 1Yeah, right, and I remember that just brought a memory to mind. So the other night my three grandsons were over and you know three can be a crowd, you know, and they usually do pretty well. But one of them said something like let's go over, you know, like team of two, you know leaving out one, and they left, they, you know they were walking away from the one that could probably take it the best, and he was like fine, you know, and he went and did something that he doesn't usually get to do when they're all over, which is play with this racetrack thing, because everybody's all over it.
Speaker 1So he's like fine you guys go do what you're going to do. I'm going to do this. And when you just said that I was, like you know, in our childhood even if it was a middle school thing mean girls I didn't think to myself, I need to numb out from this, I need to escape. I didn't think about that and I dealt with it, sometimes not in the best way and sometimes it hurt a little bit longer, but that's what sobriety is like.
Speaker 1Sometimes it is gonna hurt a little bit and there's gonna be a little delay in finding the joy you know in doing something that you're not used to doing and away from the people that used to do it with. And let's talk about that too. The friend thing I had drinking buddies. Some of them are still my buddies, but we don't drink together and our relationship is better than ever. So anyone else wanna expand on that?
Discovering Joy in Sober Summers
Speaker 4Callie. Well, I've I've had many times up at our cottage now sober with friends and I'm telling you, I laugh as hard, as you know, and I remember. Yeah, I remember everything and honestly, you gotta just trust that. Give it time and you will be having more fun. I know everybody says that you're probably listening and going. Yeah, well, that's not me. Well, that's what I used to say as well.
Speaker 6So it's very true, you, you can have so much fun being sober and just have to trust us when we tell you that, yeah, you're not gonna be a dork I, I laugh a lot more now than I did in my heaviest drinking days because I I can notice a joke or I can, I can, I can see clearly when, when there's something funny happening or there's, you know, just like a little humor in the conversation that I wouldn't have picked up on, uh, when I was completely numbed out.
Speaker 6So, and with the friendships too, you know it can open up some interesting vulnerable conversations. I know that with some of my closest friends they have changed their own drinking habits and they've cut way back on their drinking and it's been their own journey. But because I choose to no longer drink and I'm open about it, it can. It can open up some, you know, conversations that I certainly wouldn't have had with my friends had I continued drinking. So, and it doesn't have to be about the alcohol anymore. So some of those friends where maybe we were unhealthy together and sort of enabling the drinking, now we can do activities that don't involve drinking at all and we have a blast where that wouldn't have happened before, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 2Right, yeah, that first summer I felt like I had a superpower because I got up so early. You know, I felt like long before everyone else, you know, was getting up in the summer especially. You know I still had kids in school and my son played football so I had to get up with him anyway. But even getting up so much earlier and having that time with the Lord and then also just, you know, going for a walk, you know I lived in the Mid-South in Tennessee, and it was brutal summers.
Speaker 2But also another thing I also kind of pre-planned and saved a bunch of house projects to do because it was so hot and it's not real fun to be outside and walk, you know, if it's 100 degrees and 100% humidity. And so I painted my whole house and I, you know, made it bright and sunny and just tried to just change things and make it just a happier place to be in. And I know it kind of probably sounds stupid or even daunting, but it was just something that felt good to me and it kept me busy. I blasted 80s music or worship music or whatever yeah, do it yeah, yeah no, that's, that's great.
Speaker 1That's great.
Speaker 5Terry, what something came up with you when you heard that yeah, I'd have to say I discovered mornings too, when I finally quit drinking after years and years of telling myself I'm just not a morning person.
Speaker 6And I ate.
Speaker 5Mondays, and that was just what I told myself for so many years. And when I stopped drinking I was waking up like early on Saturday mornings and I'm like, well, this is really nice, I can get out and do things before the crowds get out, and then I can come home and I still have all day to do my stuff at home. It's like a huge day. It's not like I'm going to waste it all doing all the crappy stuff I used to do and I just added so many hours to the weekends. And Mondays were not. I hate Mondays anymore. They were kind of nice to get back to work and be quiet for a while.
Speaker 1Yeah, no, that's such a good point. We talked about how fast summers went when we were drinking, but all of a sudden you have a lot of extra time and everybody here you know you can, can see us. But when we talk about mornings, we're all nodding their head. I think all of us, and even in our, you know, larger group away from this, mornings are a gift and I, that's where I get fed, that's where I start, and you know my devotions, my, my prayer time, but also just my.
Speaker 1I've been meaning to look up how to do this, or, you know, I can, even I give myself time to, you know, scroll brainlessly if I want to, on, you know, instagram or something. But, um, speaking of which, so I would see something on Instagram back in the day. Probably wasn't Instagram, it was probably only Facebook, and I'd be like that looks like a great idea. That's a lot of work. Probably not. You know, probably can't do that. And there was only one reason I couldn't do that was because I would start so many things and then I would not complete them. So at the end of the summer, I had a lot of uncompleted projects and I take so much pride now when I finish something. You know when I actually and it really bothers me if I run out of time to finish something, because that feels wrong to me now and I just feel empowered when I get to finish something, whether it's a, you know, an inside or an outside project, it doesn't matter. So yeah, debbie, what you got.
Speaker 2So you just said Instagram, and I also want to talk about the reality of some of the yuck of summer.
Speaker 2All of us, whether we're one day sober, 1000 days or more sober, you know when you're seeing Instagram, facebook posts or whatever the outdoor brunches and all of that jazz. Sometimes it is a kind of a shot, you know, in just having that wherewithal to be able to think all the way through it. So I, you know, almost trained my brain to see a picture like that. You know, especially Mother's Day, who didn't see millions of brunch and champagne and mimosa pictures? To train my brain to go all the way through and say they're going to be so tired and cranky and feel like crap, or about 2pm, or they going to have to keep on going and take it through the night and tomorrow morning is going to be really bad. You know, I just making sure I have the wherewithal and those tools to be able to see, you know, the lake pictures, the beach pictures and all of that, but to know that that is just not where I want to be and it's not anywhere I can be ever again, you know taking it out.
Speaker 1You just reminded me of something. So on the beaches here you can't have alcohol, um, and I remember taking a lot of time to fill the right things in the cooler. So, a, we went and get busted. And I say we, it was my booze. But, um and but it took some planning. You know, we went on a cruise once and I took booze in a mouthwash bottle, you know, and said it was because, you know, I didn't want to spend a fortune buying drinks, which it would have been if I was buying drinks.
Speaker 1But I was thinking about how, like that first summer I was sober, I was packing the cooler to go out on the boat or something, and I kept thinking what am I missing? That went way too fast, like I mean I had everything I needed but I kept looking at it. I mean I had everything I needed but I kept looking at it and I thought, oh yeah, I'm not running around emptying something so I can fill it with booze, you know, and making sure I have the right cup, you know, so I won't get busted. But you don't realize how many of those things are time suckers of not only your physical time but your mental space, and to be aware of that and life is so much simpler. There was a I remember hearing early in recovery to just keep it simple, and I would look at that and go. It is it is. Life is very simple and I almost was bored, you know. But it's important not to let yourself go there, because you have to appreciate the simple things like being ready to go. You know, or one of my favorite things is, you know, summer there's a lot of coming and going. It feels less scheduled, but you know what? I'm ready for anything. Someone needs me you know to, to watch a grandboy at the last minute I'm there. You know, someone needs a ride I'm there. Someone calls like today and says, do you want to go for a bike ride? I'm there. I don't have to think about my drinking schedule or do a self-check as to how I'm feeling, none of those things.
Speaker 1So I think at least I hope the biggest thing that you're hearing here tonight from six women who I know, I speak for all of us when I say yeah, I looked at a lot of sober summers and thought that's probably not for me. I don't know what these people are smoking, but it's, it's probably just them. They're probably like really goody people or something. But no, it's not true. We are all able to do that and you're not going to experience it until you give it a fair shot.
Speaker 1And um, I do want to point out that I always said I was going to quit drinking on Memorial day with those previous years, like when I was still drinking, and if I drank Memorial day weekend which I did that meant I probably wasn't going to quit till labor day, and I can't tell you how many years that went. That meant I probably wasn't going to quit till Labor Day and I can't tell you how many years that went on. So I know it was in my head for a very long time and I'm more than the loss of those summers. You know they were ones where my kids were growing up and I know I missed things and I know I didn't enjoy things to the fullest. So, anyway, anybody else got anything.
Speaker 5before we close, I just wanted to say not only is there more time in the day that you can do things, but there's so much more headspace. Your talk reminded me of that. I obsessed so much with when I can drink, where I can drink, what I can drink, how am I going to sneak this and that and that completely consumes your head all day long. And now my brain is free to actually think about positive things and good things and things I can accomplish, and having that brain space is spectacular.
Laughter and Joy in Sober World
Speaker 1Yeah, that's a great way to end. So thanks so much, ladies, for your input and yeah, you guys are awesome. So if you only heard how much laughter happened before we actually hit record. Anyway, but we have a lot of fun here in sober world. So thanks for joining us. Yeah, we do, and we'll see you next time on another episode of the she Surrenders podcast. Thanks everyone. Thanks for being here. I hope you enjoyed this conversation and if you know someone else who could benefit from hearing this or another she Surrenders podcast, please share this podcast. Let's get the word out about the miracle of faith-based recovery. So like, share, subscribe, review all the things that help me get this into the hands of those who need to hear it. No-transcript.