EP 71 | Annetta's Story: From Darkness To Deliverance

What if the moment you feared most became the doorway to freedom? That question sits at the center of Annetta’s story, a raw, hope-filled journey from childhood abuse and fifth-grade drinking to daily use, goth weekends, and a desperate plea on a skateboard that landed her at the door of AA. 

Listen for the turning points, stay for the practical hope: how surrender can transform not just habits but identity. If this story encouraged you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find faith-based recovery that lasts. 

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Annetta Caldwell is a wife, mother, dancer, and author passionate about sharing God's faithfulness. A Texas native, she trained in dance and ministry with Youth With A Mission, where she met her husband, Ryan. They moved to Virginia in 2007, where they’ve raised their seven children. Annetta now teaches others to worship through dance and shares her testimony through writing and speaking, helping others find freedom through God’s redemptive power. 

Connect with Annetta:

Ftfministries.org  

Purchase her book: Caught

About the She Surrenders Podcast:

On the She Surrenders podcast we are talking about women, faith and addiction all on the same platform. There are many podcasts for women and sobriety, but very few for women seeking information and stories from others about faith-based recovery.   

Help us reach more listeners: like, subscribe, review, and share. 

Find us on Instagram @shesurrenders_sherry, on Facebook @shesurrenderssherry, and online at www.shesurrenders.com. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back to the Chief Surrenders Podcast. I'm Sherry, and my heart behind this podcast is to bring you the excellent news that faith-based recovery is where you'll discover the joy in life you never thought possible while you were in the bondage of addiction. The stories you'll hear from women and sometimes men who have walked in your shoes or alongside someone who has will inspire you to pursue the same freedom they've found. This freedom comes from surrendering not only our addictions, but also our guilt and shame to God. Matthew 19, verse 26 tells us, with man, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible. I pray that today's episode brings you to a new understanding that this is true for you too, because it is. Now, on to our guest.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

When I think of myself in fifth grade, that's young. But her story is one of victory, so hang in there. But I do want to warn you that sexual abuse is mentioned, so there's a trigger alert there, but there is some trauma with that. Um her journey into addiction um until the end of her sophomore year is heartbreaking. Her redemption story, though, is amazing. So I think you're really going to love listening to her and all the things that happened up till last year. God has been so faithful to her. And I just invite you to sit back and listen to Aneta's story. So today we have Aneta with us, and we are excited to hear about not only her recovery story, but her journey of faith and um becoming an author. She has got a story though that starts with her addiction journey that started way back in her youth. So welcome, Anetta. Hi. Thanks for having me on here. Absolutely. Absolutely. And we're just gonna ask you to dive in and start out way back when, although you're not very old. So um, I don't know what this youth business is all about, but we are anxious to hear um about um your faith walk and how God took you out of addiction and into a whole different life.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Yeah, well, it starts with uh my family. So I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and I actually started drinking when I was in fifth grade. Um, we snuck into my friend's dad's cabinet, and that was my first like introduction to things. And because of all of the uh abuse that I went through, I was basically I was sexually abused from the age of about three till about 12. And I had a lot of um just a lot of stuff happening at home. And so as part of like dealing with that, outside of trying to find find, you know, my identity and friends, I started drinking a lot when I got to about eighth grade. And that was after I had um been rejected a lot in school and also, like I said, having a very dysfunctional home. So I started out drinking, and then when I got into about ninth grade, I was drinking every day just to go to school. So I would, I would sneak, you know, alcohol, uh, find people that would buy alcohol for me. And I would just drink it and then I'd get on the bus. Um, I usually rode the city bus to get to school. I didn't ride the school bus. And I would, I would show up drunk to most of my classes. And then I got introduced to um even more drugs when I got when a little bit later in ninth grade, there's a group of people, like we were all dressed in black and very goth, and we started going drinking and using drugs all the time, so every weekend. And it went from there to where I was trying to get sober a couple of times, but I couldn't ever stay sober because everybody, including myself, did not like who I was when I was not drinking or using drugs. So I would try really hard. And my mom even tried to get me in a treatment center, and on our way driving there, I jumped out of the car because she told me where she was taking me. So I thankfully made it home without getting hurt. But everyone around me, even my peers in high school, started approaching me. And I had a guy tell me that he thought I had a problem with drinking or using drugs, and I was like, I don't have a problem. I'm totally fine. And he actually took me and my friend to a supposedly to a party, and he actually dropped us off uh at an AA meeting. And I was like, I am not going here. And I I left and got on the city bus again with my friend. So everyone around me was seeing there were problems. And uh my mom got me connected to a counselor that was from Alcoholics Anonymous, and I told her I can stop anytime, right? I can stop, I don't need to have help. And during this time, it was getting worse and worse. And by the time I got to, let's see, I was like in 10th grade. Uh, I was like Link said, I was really far gone with the drugs and the alcohol. I decided uh to try it, like I think I had to stop for maybe a month or two, and then one time during the summer, and my friend invited me to her house for a party, and I said, you know what, I can't do any drugs. And she said, Well, this is a different drug. I'll be with you holding your hand the whole time. And it's a new dealer, and I don't even know what we took. I I still to this day don't know what it was uh exactly was in that drug, but um I actually was not getting sober. So I took it after 24 hours, I was still high. Then we moved in 48 hours, I was still high. And then by the third day, I was like, oh my gosh. And I remember um taking my skateboard downtown, still seeing things, hallucinating, still really high. And I remember sitting on my skateboard downtown Austin, and I looked up and I said, God, if you're real, I need you to help me. And then I noticed I looked down and I and then I looked up and I realized I was at that same spot that guy tricked me to go to where the AA meeting was. And I didn't even know how I got there. I was writing my skateboard and I was like, oh my gosh. So I went into the AA meeting, and that's where I got sober, and eventually I was introduced to Jesus after several months being in that program.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Oh, wow. So that was your start into getting. Did you know the Lord at all before then?

SPEAKER_02 7:15

No, my dad was Muslim, so I didn't really know who God was. Wow. I mean, I was Muslim, my brother was Buddhist, my um mom was backslidden Christian. Uh, think my sister knew somebody that was Catholic. It was just we had a big maj of all different types of religions. And so that's what led me to like asking who God was in AA. You're asked to just find a higher power, but you're not really told who God is. You're like, they don't want to limit like people coming in. So they would be like, find out who God is, your own understanding. And so I was like, God, I need you to show me who you are. And six months into the program, I met my sponsor who told me the only one that was going to help set me free from everything was Jesus. And so that was the first introduction. It took me a little while to accept him because at that moment I was still very skeptical of things. But but yeah, that's where I found him.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

So that was your turning into a sobriety as well, right? So that was in 10th grade.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yeah, that was in 10th grade.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Wow. You went through more before the end of 10th grade than what a lot of people do in a lifetime.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Oh, yeah, it's it was crazy.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Wow. So did you go back to the same school?

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Actually, I I went to a different high school for my senior year. So I transferred, because I originally transferred to this school, and that was to be with one of my friends. So for my senior year, I transferred back to where I was supposed to go. And that's where I actually, my senior year, I met Christians. I started going to church. Um, I had gotten baptized. So my whole life was totally changed, like for my senior year. And yeah, so junior year was kind of when I really accepted Jesus. And then, like I said, by the time I was my senior year, that's when God started opening the door for new friendships. Because you know, when you're an AA, you're told to leave your old friends, your old playgrounds, your old things, because that's how you keep falling into addiction if you stay in the same place all the time. So I lost all of my old friends and I remade a whole bunch of new ones during my senior year of high school.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

And did you stay home at the time too?

SPEAKER_02 9:38

I didn't I did until I I moved in with my sister when I turned 18. Um or maybe it was a little before that. But yeah, I stayed at home, but it was not a great environment. Um my dad was there with my my mom was kind of off doing like working and different things. So yeah, it was kind of it was a little crazy, but yeah, God give me grace to go through that.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

I'm in awe. So now you're gonna graduate. So the story continues.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yes. So I graduated, I had to catch up from all three years of school that I would come high and drunk too. So I didn't know anything. I actually had to take remedial classes because I didn't know how to do basic math. I didn't know how to do all these things. So I took all these classes and I actually graduated on time with this new group of friends. Um, and I even went to prom, which was crazy. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, so I met some kind of I asked some cowboy. I didn't even know him, but I was like, you want to go to prom?

SPEAKER_01 10:45

He's like, okay. Every girl should go to prom.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Yeah. So I I got to go, I got dressed up, and and then um from there I ended up going on my first missions trip and to Venezuela, and that was a little wild and for like two weeks. Okay, and then I went to YWM after that, which was youth with a mission. That's where I met my husband at.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Okay. Oh, YWM. I hear wonderful things about YWM. Many, many good youth stories of YWM and meeting spouses.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Oh, yeah, that's where I met him. I actually got married on the YWM base in in Texas.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Really? Yeah, that's wonderful. Would you say that those mission trips is what really started you on the another trajectory towards your where you were going?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I would say yes. Also, the church that I went to, because I went to a new church that was very uh supportive. Um, I had people praying for me. My big thing was my sponsor. She had her own um Bible study at home. And once I once I accepted Jesus, she invited me to that. So it was like this, it's kinda like how it would be like an axe. Like all of us were sharing things and and doing life together and eating meals. And uh I learned a lot about the Bible and worship. And then also going on this trip, I realized that God was with me, even going through fear, fearful, scary things. Uh, nobody in my family was very excited about that. I actually went on my first missions trip on Christmas Day. They're like, Well, what are you doing? Because they weren't Christians yet. They're just like, Annette is lots of mine. But I'm like, I gotta obey God. So, and then um we started we started having kids pretty soon after getting married um in YWM. And I came out to Virginia when I was pregnant with my third, and it was yeah, it's wild, wild adventure. Wow, but he totally turned my life around. I was like said, I was depressed. I had already tried to commit suicide a couple of times before, like by ninth grade. I was, you know, during that time everything was very dark, and so he he pretty much was healing me from a lot of trauma and things that I gone through. Um and even used, you know, YWAM was a part of the healing process too.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Yeah, yeah. And because you never went to treatment, right? No, AA and this wonderful sponsor that God gave you.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Well, yeah. And I mean, and I had I had some counseling I went through with that lady. She actually passed away um from cancer. She was doing it's so crazy because she actually had can't going through cancer treatment, was like hooked up to a machine, and she was still doing counseling with me. So she was just amazing. But yeah, God was putting all these amazing people in my path and then showing me that he was real, he was constantly answering prayers. Um, and so all of that combined, it was just like this whole faith journey that I was going through. And eventually, like I said, eventually I started writing this book, but that was later when God wanted me to write all the stories of everything that had happened, my whole testimony.

unknown 13:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

So how did how did that transpire? So because you got married, started having children, moved to Virginia.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Your husband, um, were does he work for YWAM or he works that well, his leader, our leader at YWAM moved to Virginia, and actually we got a he got a job offer for a church out here, and that's what caused us to come out here because we were we were fully uh fundraising, fully dependent on getting money every month from other people to support us in YWAM. And then uh when we got here, he became, you know, over the IT and different things at church, and I was staying home with the kids. So I was basically just, you know, doing homeschooling and taking care of the family for a long time. And I joined the prayer team eventually. And yeah, so that was our life. And then he actually started working at CBN and I still I still was, you know, staying here and just doing whatever God told me to do. So I mean, with homeschooling and uh journaling, but God was like, I want you to write this book. So a year ago, I finally was like, okay, I'm gonna write the book. And I didn't realize it was his timing because I had all this stuff happen up until last December that wouldn't have been in the book if I hadn't, you know, waited on the right timing for it. And I just pretty much went straight in. We uh I did videos and we got the things down, and then I started going to my closet and just spending hours typing whatever he told me to.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

That's a huge commitment. As a writer myself, I I know what that's like. But when God asked you to do something and you know it's from him, you don't say no.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Yeah, you gotta say yes to him.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

So I'm like, okay, yeah, exactly. So in your story in the book ends with um a culmination of things that happened up to last year about this time.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah, well, I was gonna say another big part of my book is I actually was a witch during this time too. So I was uh Oh, there's that. There's that, yeah. So if you see the book, it's kind of a dark-looking cover, but it's called caught. But um, I I had I had fully given myself over to Satan during this time too. And um, I was a white witch and heavily involved in the occult. So that was all during that time when I was doing the drugs. So it wasn't just the drugs, it was also um the witchcraft was a heavy, big part of my life. Um, so whenever God delivered me, he delivered me from a lot of not just the abuse, but also the rituals, the different things that I had um committed whenever I was, you know, a teenager. But yeah, so this book it goes into some of the stuff that happened then, but then it goes into some of the stories of where God was being faithful in my life. And so, like last year, um, my kids put up a lemonade stand in front of our house. And I don't know if you heard the story, but um a guy came up to like they waited for me to go inside the house. And then he went um over there and approached my daughter. She was nine and he was, no, she was 10 and he was nine, my son, my son and daughter. And he went up and pretended to be a customer. And then as she turned her back to pour the drink in, he grabbed the jar of money and ran into his car. So he stole all of their money. And I was like, uh. So they came inside and told me. I went out looking for him, and God told me to go back and call the police and not chase the guy down. He's like, Go back. And I was, he said, give it to me and see what I will do with it. And when I did, the police showed up within a few minutes. And then after that, we put it on a next door app, and then our local news station picked it up, and they came back a second time, and then News Nation came, talked to us. So we got on News Nation, and then we got on um, what was the other David Muir with National News? They reached out, CBN. So it just went viral, and that was all God showing me. Look what I can do if you give something to me. So we had a second lemonade stand and made over$6,500. Um, they had all these bikers, like over 100 bikers showed up, and all of like the the mayor, not the mayor, but like all the city council, like everybody showed up to this lemonade stand. So it's all over, like if you look it up right now, it's still like all over the place. And then um I tried doing a hot cocoa stand. So we earned some money to give to the uh West Virginia and like to North Carolina, like those areas where they had the flooding that happened. And so we were doing that, but I had a really bad cough at the time and I kept it wouldn't go away. So I went to the doctor and they they did an x-ray and they they checked it out and they said, You look fine. It's just uh probably just an infection. We'll give you some antibiotics. But then they called me uh four days later while I was driving my son to work, said, It looks like you have a 10 millimeter mass in your right lung. And I was like, Wait, what? And they're like, Yes, you have like a mass in your lung. So that was what the issue was. I was coughing. I couldn't breathe, like in my car. I would be like, I can't catch my breath. So they said I had to get a CT scan. Um, probably gonna, I mean, we were thinking, probably gonna have to have surgery, I don't know, chemo, whatever. And um I went to my church and they all laid hands on me and they prayed. And this girl was like, I see God taking that and burning up that mass in your lun, right? And I was like, okay, I accept whatever God's praying over me. So I went, got the CT scan, and then the next day I was waiting like anxiously, like, okay, what is gonna happen? I don't I we just like we were in the we were even in the parade, the Chesapeake parade uh for my kids in the lemonade stand. So I have all this amazing. Amazing stuff happened and I don't know if I'm gonna die or live. I don't know if this how much cancer they're gonna find in my body, all this stuff, right? And I go to the um after the scan gets done and I go into the doctor's appointment, I'm just like, okay, God, I'm gonna, I'm gonna praise you right now in the middle of this. I'm gonna have a good day no matter what they say. And I remember seeing in this Forrest Frank song, it's like, I'm gonna have a good day. And I was like in there, and I'm like, all right, here we go. So we go in and I'm anticipating everything. I have a little bit of joy, but then I'm like, oh my gosh. So we get in there and I go, Okay, do I have cancer? And they were like, Hold on. So she starts looking and she goes, Where did you get this scan taken? And I said, Well, it was with your facility. So it was the high up, really nice one, right? She goes, Oh, she goes, Okay, because we can't find it. And I was like, What? She goes, You don't have, you don't have a 10 millimeter mass. And I was like, What? And I what's crazy about it is I have a friend that does scans, right? I brought her a copy of this and she looked and she goes, Oh, I see it right there. She could see it, the mass. And she said, It's so deep, Anetta, they wouldn't have been able to operate on it. It was so deep in your lungs, covered by the different vessels, they wouldn't have been able to operate on that mass. And so when she told me it's gone, I was like, God just totally healed me. And so that all happened right before Christmas of last year. And so I was like, oh my gosh. So I got to put that in my book and pictures of, you know, I got to invite it to do a dance afterwards. And it was like the most amazing dance because I felt the Holy Spirit um all over it. And I just felt like his peace and his presence. Um, knowing that he he took care of this for me. I didn't even have to have surgery. And I was preparing for because I mean, 10 million mass is pretty big for your lung. And so they were like, um, like nobody knew what to do. They said, Well, you can go to a pulmonologist. So I ended up going to a pulmonologist later, and he said, You have such healthy lungs. I might see a little spot here or there. I don't see anything. He was like, You don't even have to come back to see me. And I was like, Are you serious? Like, you don't have to do a follow-up. You're, you're, you're done. Like, you're, we don't even need to see you. And um, so God just totally, I mean, I hadn't been to the doctor in over five years at that point before I went in for getting the x-ray for the cough. And that cough was like in a month and a half, it would not go away. And it was deep, and it was so anyway, that was that was some of the stuff that got put in my book at the end of just like God's faithfulness and not just taking me out of the drugs and the alcohol and the witchcraft, but then showing up in my life, even in recent times where things are scary, him showing up and going, look, I'm still here. And even if he hadn't done that, and he had walked me through the chemo. It's like he's still there and he still sees me and he hears me, and he walked, he walked me through my biggest fears. I mean, I did not want to do a CT scan. I had to get the die done, everything. And I was like, and he walked with me through that panic attack. And I I just he just showed me, I'm here with you. Whatever steps you have to take, I'm here with you.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Wow. His goodness definitely is shining through. And I mean, in everything in your life. I mean, even if it had been a diagnosis, it sounds like you were prepared to, like you said, find join it and honor him the best you can through it.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

And wow, and I'm so glad that you got to put that and the lemonade story in your book. So, how can people find you and your book?

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Uh I'm on Amazon and also Barnes and Noble's. If you're local in Virginia, it's at um Heaven and Earth bookstore in the brick and mortar store. Um but my website's also a good place. I put all my podcasts and then all of the you know things that God is showing me on there. Okay. And that's ftf ministries.org.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Okay. I'll be sure to put all the links in the show notes so people can find you. And um yeah, is do you have a favorite scripture or um single verse that you'd like to share before we end our time together?

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Um I think the Psalm 23, The Lord is my shepherd.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

It's so I was thinking of that one while you were talking. I was like, you have been through the valleys, and I was reciting that in my head. So wow.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah. I mean, even um that verse, like, even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, like he shows me that verse, um, it's become like alive in me because it's like I have to walk, you know. His verses, I mean, his Bible is so good.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

And and when you got to the beautiful part of the story, I was like, surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. I mean, I was just yeah, going through it in my head.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

So he's changed everything. He's changed everything. Even this last like uh six months, when I obeyed him and I actually put the book out, I published it, uh self-published it. It's like door after door started opening, and I'm just like seeing just his faithfulness, even like right now. Like, I'm like, God, you're so good. And thinking about what I went through a year ago, this time last year, I I just you know, had just walked through the, you know, the the diet. I mean, really, I think it was lung cancer, and he just totally took it away. And I'm sitting here going, my gosh, I'm so I'm so thankful because it makes you think different when you're like right there facing hard things or death, or and it's like, is all this other stuff really that important? Like, what's really important? It's like your relationships and your relationship with him, and that's the uh so it's very true.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

It's very true when you're forced to take a second look at life when you realize how fragile it is. So well, thank you. Thanks for being here and thanks for sharing. And um, I'm sure that my listeners will definitely love hearing your story. And like I said, I'll put all the information in the show notes so they can find you and hopefully connect with you as well. So thank you, Aneta. Thank you. Thanks for having me on here. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you found encouragement and inspiration from what you heard here. If you know someone who could benefit from the She Surrenders podcast, please share it with them. Let's spread the word about the miracle of faith-based recovery. Don't forget, like, share, subscribe, and leave a review. Because when you do these things, it helps get the message to those who are seeking answers that can only be found when we put down our addictions and pick up the promises of a whole new life when we walk in recovery with the Lord. Have a wonderful week, and I'll see you next time.