Limitless Leader Podcast with Sheryl Kline, M.A. CHPC

4 Things to Avoid When Asking for What You're Worth

March 21, 2022 Sheryl Kline M.A., CHPC
Limitless Leader Podcast with Sheryl Kline, M.A. CHPC
4 Things to Avoid When Asking for What You're Worth
Show Notes

Have you ever felt like (or had the facts) another colleague is being paid more for an equal or lesser role?

The good news is that you’re not alone. The bad news is that it can be very unfair, disrespectful, demotivating, and bad for business.

You may be thinking that this shouldn’t even be an issue, and that there should not be a discrepancy. Agreed 100%.

It may be time to speak up! If you already have, a few new tools could make all the difference for round 2.

However, until we get further down this road, we’ll need to get comfortable (or I should say, confident and influential) about asking for what we are worth.

There is progress being made for pay transparency and fairness, partially in thanks to pay transparency advocate and former Corporate VP, One Commercial Partner at Microsoft, Gavriella Schuster. If you’d like to hear more about this very topic, what’s being done, and what each of us can do, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and tune in to my interview with Gavriella at 2:30 p.m. PST on Wednesday, March 23, 2022!

Here are the top 4 things that many overlook when asking for what they are worth, which can sabotage their efforts. Dial these in, and you’ll have a better shot at getting what you want and deserve.

1. Lack of Preparation
Plan key points/asks/needs/outcomes. Think through how you want the interaction to turn out (not how you think it will turn out), and how you want to feel once it’s over. Remember, what you think comes out your mouth. If you are optimistic and positive, it will land better than being pessimistic and bitter. Make the conversation as vivid and visceral as possible, then visualize it until you believe it’s possible. In addition, do your tactical homework. What are industry standards or benchmarks in your company? What tangible data supports your ask?

2. Lack of Empathy
When it comes to asking for better compensation, it’s common for emotions to run high. Lack of empathy can make you sound nervous, doubtful, angry, or frustrated. This can likely close off others to what you have to say. If you want to be heard, prepare by taking a 360 look at what it’s like to be the person you are trying to influence. Then, your tone will shift as will your likelihood of being heard. Come from a place of compassion even if you feel like you’ve been treated unfairly.

BTW... I’m not saying you don’t deserve to be angry or frustrated, BUT lacking empathy for the other and having a negative mindset will come through in your tone and gestures and will likely not yield the results you’re hoping for. According to ex-FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss, the 7-38-55 rule applies which relates to the importance of words, tone, and body language, in that order. So, you could say ‘I love you’ for example and get yelled at by your significant other IF your tone and body language are off. It’s vital to prepare our mindset and stay calm and optimistic, or the conversation could do more harm than good.

3. A Proposal Without a First Date
It’s a human drive to feel acknowledged and validated, so make sure you do so even with those whom you strongly disagree including when you feel like you are not being paid what you feel you are worth. This is NOT agreeing, simply letting him or her know that...

... read more at:

If you’d like more in-depth coaching for yourself or your team on this topic or HOW to control your emotions during crucial conversations, let’s chat!