http://www.sherylkline.com/blog
Have you ever had that brief yet vitally important window of time to speak with your leadership or board only to let your emotions get the best of you and feel disappointed at the outcome?
Whether negotiating an offer for a new title, a monetary raise, promotion, or buy-in on an idea, it’s vital to prepare your mindset AND that of your counterpart.
Here are a few tips to make sure you feel in control of your next crucial conversation:
- Have an ECO Mindset prior to entering into any high-stakes conversation. (Have "E"mpathy for the other, "C"uriosity for what he/she might feel/be experiencing, and "O"ptimism for how you’d like the conversation to turn out). If you’re not feeling the love, postpone the conversation. Anger and frustration, while 100% understandable, will likely come out in your tone/gesture which will not be helpful to your cause.
- Begin with acknowledging the other’s perspective. Be as detailed as possible, usually beginning with ‘seems/sounds like…’. For example, ‘It seems like giving me this title could cause you some problems in terms of xyz.’
- Go directly at the worst thing they may be thinking about you or your request. This will diffuse their pushback. For example, ‘I am going to ask for something that is completely unreasonable.’
- Stop being nice. According to Chris Voss, Former FBI International Kidnapping negotiator, it’s more important to get to ‘no’ prior to getting to yes mainly because it gives the other person a feeling of safety and control. This is vital prior to making an ask. For example, ‘Do you feel that if things stay the way they are we’ll have the impact we could?’ Let them explain and be heard, and then make the ask in terms of what matters to them.
If I can help you or your team via 1:1 coaching, group cohorts, or speaking events/series, let's chat!
Cheering you on always,
xx
--Sheryl