Unpacking Education Podcast

Episode: Teaching is Emotional, with Diane Manser

Diane Manser (0:00):
Our profession is an emotional profession, and that's what we're in. And if we can understand that and figure that out within ourselves, then we're just one step closer to strength in our classroom and hopefully a very long and positive career.

Rena Clark (0:16):
The topic for today's podcast is "Teaching is Emotional" with Diane Manser.

Rena Clark (0:23):
Unpacking Education is brought to you by AVID.org. AVID believes in seeing the potential of every student. To learn more about AVID, visit their website at avid.org. Welcome to Unpacking Education, the podcast where we explore current issues and best practices in education. I'm Rena Clark.

Paul Beckermann (0:47):
I'm Paul Beckermann.

Winston Benjamin (0:48):
And I'm Winston Benjamin. We are educators.

Paul Beckermann (0:52):
And we're here to share insights and actionable strategies.

[Transition Music with Rena's Children] (0:56):
Education is our passport to the future.

Opening Quote

Rena Clark (0:59):
So our quote for today is actually from Diane Manser on her website, Teaching is Emotional. She writes: "I came to learn that the hard of teaching isn't so much the lesson planning and assessing and constant work, but rather the emotional impacts that teaching leaves on us during our day and after our day." A lot we could talk about right there, gentlemen. What are we thinking?

Winston Benjamin (1:29):
I don't know if our audience can see me right now, but my head is down heavy with this quote, just thinking about my teaching days and now as a Dean of Students—just the emotional knowledge that it takes in order to help someone else who's going through an emotional experience, who doesn't have the language to be able to communicate what they're experiencing. And then wondering, did I make the right choice? Did I say the right word? What did I do? And always thinking back on all the mistakes that I've made over my career in order to hopefully not make the same mistake twice. So it's that constant reflection on trying to make the work good that's really hard. I'm feeling this quote in so many ways, even today.

Paul Beckermann (2:31):
I think what you're describing, Winston, is sort of the underpinning of what I'm thinking about. I'm just thinking about the weight of teaching, and I think that's something I didn't realize when I first started teaching—that teaching wasn't just about my own feelings. I didn't realize that I was also going to bring aboard the emotions and trials and struggles of each of those students that I was teaching. Each one of those kids has their own story, and because I cared for them, I took on that weight of their emotions and their feelings. That weight can be kind of heavy some days, so I think that's one of the reasons that teaching is so hard. And I didn't really know that when I went into it. I don't know if I was prepared for that.

Winston Benjamin (3:12):
But it's also one of the best weights to lift.

Paul Beckermann (3:18):
Isn't it, though? I mean, it's the reward too.

Winston Benjamin (3:21):
Twenty years later, you're just like, "Oh wow, that's where you turned out to be. Dope."

Paul Beckermann (3:32):
It's what I used to tell my swimmers when I was coaching: those things that you have to work the hardest for—those are the things that are going to mean the most. And boy, carrying that weight, there it is.

Rena Clark (3:43):
That's why I think the kids that I have to spend the most energy on, worry about the most—those are the ones that become closest to our heart too. Isn't that true? So I think we have a lot to dig into today. I'm excited to welcome Diane Manser. She is a high school English teacher in a suburban school near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. But she's also the founder of Teaching is Emotional, which really encourages educational leaders, current teachers, and emerging teachers to support teachers' emotional strength as they navigate a challenging profession, as we've been talking about. She is the author of the book I Didn't Sign Up for This: One Classroom Teacher's Journey Through Emotional Fatigue and Personal Empowerment. So welcome, Diane. We're glad to have you here.

Diane Manser (4:33):
Thank you so much for having me. I am thrilled to be here. I couldn't wait to meet you all and have this conversation. Thank you so much for letting me be on your show, and thanks to all the listeners for tuning into this episode.

Getting to Know Diane

Rena Clark (4:47):
So we did a little bit of an intro, but if you could just tell us a little bit more about yourself, your background, and how the heck did you end up starting this whole thing?

Diane Manser (5:00):
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm currently in my 20th year of teaching, mostly in the ninth grade. As already shared, I'm in a suburban school outside of Philadelphia, and what brought me to this work was the emotional challenges and impacts—those highs and lows I was experiencing in my classroom, as well as all the work fatigue.

Every year that would go by, I would learn some things, promise myself that certain things wouldn't happen the next school year, that I would do better with them, that they would be tightened up, I would be stronger. And then I would be back in another school year, not quite experiencing the same experiences—because we always grow and we get stronger and better every time, we're not at the starting line—but still experiencing some things that I just felt like, "Is this even sustainable?"

And what really surprised me was I was about 10 to 12 years into the profession. I love being a teacher. I love it more now since I've figured a lot of things out within myself. I love being a teacher. And I started having that voice inside go, "Oh, can you really do this for another however many years? Oh boy, it's August, and here comes another school year. This long weekend is over. Now what?"

And I was surprised by that because I'm a naturally very enthusiastic person. I'm a happy person by default. I love being a teacher. I love my students and my classroom. So I knew there was some exploration that needed to be done and some growth that needed to be done.

So I ended up seeing a mental health professional, a therapist. And through that work, I came to learn the things about myself that I needed to learn and to see what were showing themselves in the classroom. I'm a hard worker, so it wasn't so much a matter of working hard. It was a matter of managing the emotions within myself that were unmanaged, and then they would follow me throughout the day—when I was making dinner, when I was playing with my kids, when I was going to bed at night, getting ready in the morning. I was almost steeling myself for certain challenges I was going to face in the day, already stressed about them before I even arrived.

Through that work and through that professional, I grew and grew and grew. Then I was journaling about my experiences, and that journal turned into the book that you just shared about. My mission is to share that our profession is an emotional profession, and that's what we're in. And if we can understand that and figure that out within ourselves, then we're just one step closer to strength in our classroom and hopefully a very long and positive career.

Winston Benjamin (7:32):
Know thyself.

About the Book

Winston Benjamin (7:32):
So, as we stated, the title of your book is I Didn't Sign Up for This—I just really wanted to pause because the pause is real—One Classroom Teacher's Journey Through Emotional Fatigue to Personal Empowerment. I love the way that ended. The title seems very clear what the topic is going to be. But can you give our listeners and your future readers a big picture overview of the book and share why you chose to write it? Because you journaled, but there's turning that into something of value for others. What was the reason?

Diane Manser (8:21):
Yeah. To give you an overview of the book: in the opening parts, I share that in our learning how to become a teacher, everything that we receive is so content-driven. I was the person in college and the early years of my career that was very lesson-plan ready. I never felt comfortable walking into a classroom and not being prepared with my lesson plan, because that made me feel secure. It made me feel in control. It made me feel comfortable.

But what I wasn't ready for were some of the disruptions in the classroom or some of the emotional impact those disruptions can have—such as student off-behavior, or you can have a walk-through that doesn't go too well from an administrator, or you can feel, despite all your hard work, you're not really keeping up. You're working so hard, but you also know you're not really keeping up. All of those emotional challenges that you're feeling at the end of a school day, end of a school week, and certainly as you go through the tiring part of the school year.

So the early part of my book establishes this idea of control and also locus of control, and about this concept that we're in an emotional profession. When we're learning how to teach, we're focusing so much on the content; we're not really focusing on ourselves or the emotionality of the job.

Then I go through lots and lots of stories and narratives that come from myself and from other teachers. I interviewed about 80 teachers and instructional coaches in creating the book.

The last third of the book is all strategies—all of the lessons and learning that I received, not only from the therapist that I saw, but books that I've read, podcasts like yours that are empowering to us, and things that I infuse into the classroom. I'm really excited to share some of them with you guys today.

So as I was journaling and showing up to my weekly sessions with my journal, I kept thinking, "I really think others would benefit from this. Perhaps I can make a blog or share some of what I've learned with others." Then I was going back through my journals, and I was seeing chapters and themes. So I started playing around with writing chapters. Then I went to a workshop, and that really exploded a lot of it for me because I was connected with an editor. Once I was connected with the editor, that person coached me and pushed me to finish the book and get the message out there.

Now I'm just looking forward to sharing it with many people. I've gotten the chance to speak to college students and K–12 professional development, which has been such an honor and a privilege—nothing I necessarily thought was going to happen. But now that I'm sharing the message, I feel like it's making an important difference, a meaningful difference, in teachers' careers.

The Reality vs. the Dream

Paul Beckermann (11:12):
That's great. I love that you're taking what you learned and you're passing that on. That's so awesome. You kind of alluded to this, and I kind of alluded to it at the beginning too in the opening to the quote: when we enter the teaching field, we're kind of idealistic about the whole thing. We maybe don't know the full reality of it—that dream versus reality. If you were (and maybe you already did put this in your book), what's the message that you would send out, maybe to newer teachers? What were they missing in their preparation to become a teacher? You've kind of alluded to that a little bit, but what's that message to them? And how would you prepare them for the reality of that?

Diane Manser (11:53):
Yeah, thank you for the question. I think for me, this is the biggest one: when I walked into the classroom, like I said, I was lesson-plan ready. I wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing. That was actually coming from a place of insecurity, and that was something that I wasn't seeing until many years later.

So for me, in the personal work that I've done—and this is going to be very unique to any person who's going through this journey and willing to be open to the journey—I would say to our new teachers, be they 22 years old or 40 years old and in a career change: we have to understand ourselves on a deeper level, or at least be willing to consider it and to evaluate it before you walk into that classroom.

We think that, let's just put a very universal example out there, we think that when students are talking or they're disruptive while we're giving our lesson, we're going to be able to pull those behaviors back. It's all going to get cleaned up, redirected, and tidied up, and we're going to walk out of our day like that was never even an issue.

That's actually a skill we have to learn—that classroom management skill and also the management of self within that. It's a skill we have to learn and grow. And I think sometimes we're not expecting that to have such an impact on us, where we can drive home and feel like, "I spent all this time creating these lessons and people just disregarded it—the people I was working the hardest for, my students."

Now, I love what Winston said earlier in our episode—that everyone's going through their journey, their emotional journey too. Why are those things happening for those students and with those students? We have to be willing to understand that as well.

But for us to say, "Oh, I'm just going to tell them to stop talking, and we're going to get back to the lesson, and that's just going to be it"—we know as teachers who have been in the classroom for a while, it doesn't always happen that way. It doesn't always feel that way. And we can be driving home feeling quite discouraged and defeated despite the efforts of our hard work.

So something I had to learn early on is that when I'm hit with some of those situations, it can automatically pull something out of me that can feel like insecurity—"Now maybe you're not good enough. If another teacher were up here, would the students be treating that teacher that way?" It kind of all centers on the same thing.

Now for each one of us, we have our own teaching experiences that can derail us a bit. And then it's important for us to evaluate: What was the thing that did that? What was it bringing up out of us? And then, how can I temper that? How can I lower the volume on that so it's not a level eight and I'm driving home frustrated, or I'm driving home feeling defeated? Or perhaps we say something to a student or a group of students that we wish we hadn't said three hours later when we're calmed down and the emotional part has kind of left us a little bit.

How can we keep ourselves in a centered place so we're proactive, we're managing ourselves, imagining those things that might be disrupting us all at the same time, and then leaving our day in one emotional piece?

So to me, it would be telling our newest teachers that it's important to understand yourself. What are the things in your own personal life that can make you feel agitated, offset, can make you want to talk to your best friend or your partner for an hour because that person frustrated you so much? It's highly likely you will experience that in the classroom, because you're dealing with emotional beings. Doesn't matter how old they are. Three-year-olds can frustrate us. Six-year-olds can frustrate us. We're dealing with emotional people, emotional beings in an emotional profession. So that's going to come at you there too, and we have to know how to handle it.

Strategies for Fatigue

Rena Clark (15:44):
Yes. So maybe you'll give us some practical strategies. So for many teachers, we're either a few weeks or a few months, kind of depending where we are in the world right now, into the school year, and some of the original excitement—those early days' excitement—is wearing off, giving way to fatigue. And I'm like, "Oh my goodness, I don't even have a day off until November now." So what do you say to teachers that are feeling like this? Or are there some practical strategies for teachers that are feeling that way?

Diane Manser (16:20):
Yeah. I think if, especially if the fatigue is coming from the overwork—if we have many preps and we just feel like we can't even catch up and we're just drowning—and then, I'm in a situation now that I wasn't in when I first started teaching, but now I'm a parent. I've got two kids at home, and when I get home, I want to be present for them. Sometimes I can bring the best of myself to my school day and not bring the best of myself to my home day. And that can then bring up all the other emotions—you can feel guilty or bad, or "I have to keep myself together here." You can feel really tired.

So I think one is evaluating. I actually have a Four Rs framework I'd love to share with you. The first of the Four Rs is Reality—acknowledging what the reality is that could be causing us to have that fatigue, be it physical or emotional or sometimes this combination of both.

But the reality, I think, is very important to acknowledge, because when we try to fight against reality, we try to resist reality, that's when we're resistant to any kind of opening, any awakening of what's actually happening. How can I change this? What's in my ability to change? What's in my ability to maneuver and to modify?

So the first thing I would suggest is looking at the reality. If we're looking at "we don't have a day off until November," is it possible that in some of those weeknights or weekend nights, we can take a couple things off our schedule—perhaps lower expectations in some ways? I'm not sure if it's really possible, but can you take a little bit more time for yourself knowing that a day is not coming for a little while?

Is it possible that we can ask colleagues or instructional coaches to help us in our classroom, take a lesson off of our shoulders, and we can get a little bit of a catch-up going on? Or modify grading practices that we typically do?

If it's emotional things or disruptive things in the classroom, again, it's seeing the reality. If kids are on their phones—that was a big one for me years ago, kids just on their phones constantly, and how that can really affect you when you're trying to be a good teacher and you're trying to be an impactful teacher—that's the reality. They're on their phones. Okay, good, Diane, that's the reality. What do I do with this? Now I can't fight the reality. This is the reality.

So then I'll move myself into the next sets, which are Reset, Recovery, and Recalibration. That's my Four Rs that I kind of move myself through.

Winston Benjamin (18:49):
I'm trying to memorize the Four Rs for myself.

Diane Manser (18:52):
I'd love to share all four. I don't know how much time you got.

Winston Benjamin (18:52):
You've got to leave some for the people to pull people. It's part of the game, right? You've got to tease.

Other Emotional Challenges

Winston Benjamin (18:52):
But one of the things that I'm trying to validate: I recognize fatigue. We hear that all the time when we talk to teachers, and I get it, that's a big part of the emotional weight that we deal with. But what are some of the other emotional challenges that teachers face that sometimes people don't know, and teachers don't know how to name those challenges? Because sometimes, until you hear it named, you don't know what it really is. So what are some of the other emotional challenges that teachers face these days?

Diane Manser (19:39):
Yeah. We've talked about work fatigue. We've talked about some student behaviors that can be fatiguing. Another one that we haven't gotten to yet, which has been important for me to learn along the way, is the stories the students hold and carry.

I am a loving person, and I absolutely love my students. I love my job, and I really exude that. So I will have students who will see me as someone who they can build confidence with and trust with. We have a study hall period. Sometimes students want to come in and talk, and I think being part of those stories and then moving them where they have to go—to the guidance counselor, we have an SAP program at my school, to the SAP counselors, to the principals, the places where "this student needs supports"—I'm appreciative they shared them with me.

And I think sometimes those are parts of the job that you look forward to the most, because you can give the most impact and you can give the most love, encouragement, and confidence to those students.

I don't think it's easy. I don't think we then leave our day and say, "Oh, that was—I moved it to the counselor, and things are in a better place, and now I'm good." I think for people who are empathetic and who are loving and who truly love this job and love kids, I think we do hold those stories. And that's an emotional part of the job, where we recognize some kids hold unfair burdens, and we can't fix it, but we definitely can support it. But we also need to recognize that that's part of this emotional profession.

Strategies for Burnout

Paul Beckermann (21:18):
You've kind of shared some strategies throughout here, which I really appreciate. Let's talk some more strategies. Teachers who are feeling kind of burnt out—they're on the edge of that burnout, they're afraid that they're going to get bitter, because these are people that we're working with, these are kids, and they deserve the best of us—so how can teachers persevere through that and thrive rather than falling into that pit of burnout and bitterness?

Diane Manser (21:44):
Yeah. I think one of the hardest things is seeing a teacher who is angry or frustrated over periods of time. We all have our days and our moments and our school years, but when it lasts and it pervades, it doesn't make that teacher or that person feel good, and it definitely has a way of being felt. The energy can be felt by others.

One thing that I do for myself—I was feeling this way, especially with phones in my room. I teach in a secondary level, so they're just more prevalent. And I was feeling—I was walking into my building, I remember, I recall one morning, and I was walking to my classroom, and I was saying to myself, "Why bother? Why even bother today? What's even the point?"

And that's when I was like, "Whoa," because I am not the person who typically thinks that about anything. And I really caught myself and was like, "Oh my gosh, Diane, what? Why are you saying that? And why are you feeling that way?"

It was difficult for me that day to fully shake it off, but I again knew things had to move. So I know this sounds perhaps a bit obvious, and I know we tell ourselves this, we always practice it—and for our teachers out there who've also done administrative work or who've worked with students on the discipline side—I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to address the behaviors early and to reset expectations and to be as clear as we possibly can.

So sometimes I'll go up to my students and I'll use what I call some "power language." I have lots of examples of this in the book, but I'll use some power language. One of them will be about intention versus action.

So we will look at people's actions, and we'll judge their action without necessarily understanding what their intentions were. So if a student is overusing his or her phone, or they're talking when I'm talking, or there's disruption going on, I will ask the student, "This is your action. I need you to understand what your behavior is. What is your intention? I'm feeling as though it's disrespectful. Is that your intention? Is it your intention to disrespect? Or is your intention—you're here with your friends, you're having a good time, and you're not really seeing what that's doing around you?"

And that just creates a great conversation. You're not going into it with any kind of threats. You're not going into it with any kind of "if you don't, then this." But you're looking for the conversation. I think that helps to keep the teacher in a place of understanding, but also we're resetting expectations here. And then it also helps the student to see what they're doing and how that's affecting the part of the community in the classroom. And then we can move it somewhere in a positive direction from that point.

So that's one strategy that I think perhaps could help some listeners, or at least they could give that a try in terms of that conversation.

I think sometimes when we're feeling that erosion—and I know I had to do this for myself—I had to be honest with myself and say, "These things are eroding you and making you feel bad and feel tired and even going into that resentful area. Have you allowed it? What part have you played in this?"

And I think that I had to look at myself in that way and say, "Some of this I have allowed, and now I'm going to simply un-allow it. I've allowed it, and now I'm not going to allow it." And I think having some of that power language can help us.

Finding Joy

Rena Clark (24:59):
Yeah, yeah. So this is an emotional journey, a personal journey. And I know even on my journey this last year, it's been really important to reclaim or maintain some essence of joy, confidence, that empowerment as a teacher. So why is that so important? How do we help maintain that or find those sparks?

Diane Manser (25:28):
Yeah. I have a note on my desk, a sticky note. I actually got this from my second grade teacher, Mrs. Gosnell, in an indirect way. It was 1990, but she hugged every one of us as we walked into her classroom in the morning. And I love hugs. I love giving hugs, big, tight hugs.

So I remember being this little girl—I would sometimes be ten kids back in line, craning my neck over the other kids, "When's it my turn?" And I would just hug her so tight and then go into the classroom.

Now I'm not hugging my students, but there's something about what she did that I have a note on my desk that reminds me of it, and it says: "Diane, are you enjoying your students? How do you know that you like your students, and how do you know that your students like to be in here?"

And that sticky note—I might not look at it every single day, but it's right there, and sometimes my eyes catch it, and I'm like, "Oh yeah, am I enjoying them?"

And as a parent too, I'll think back, because we can all get really caught up in the activities and the chores and the day-to-day busyness. I'll pause and say, "Am I enjoying them, or am I kind of rushing through what I had hoped for and what I was looking forward to?"

So in those moments, I will work to take some pause, and some of the things I love the most—where I get to teach, I get to see these students grow from ninth grade to twelfth grade—I will look out for an 11th grader or a 12th grader in the hallway, and I'll say, "It's so good to see you again! How are you? And how's your life been? And you're so old now! Are you driving?" "Oh, I'm driving." "Oh my God, you're driving!" And they give you a little snippet of their life.

And I'm not teaching. It's not curriculum-driven, but it's my way of saying, "This is what I knew I was going to enjoy." And I had 100 essays to grade, and I lost the joy for a bit there. I've got to get myself back on track.

Or I love when students get to be creative in class. And I'm lucky, I get to teach Romeo and Juliet, and that brings out—no pun intended—all the characters. And you've got props, and they're making videos. And again, it's just one unit out of a school year.

But I know we all have those things where we can say, "I really enjoy when I get those children on the reading rug and I get to read to them, and they're all looking at me, and I ask a prediction question and four hands go up, or kids have stories to share."

There's something that when we were studying how to become a teacher, we said, "I can't wait for this." I couldn't wait to be a volleyball coach. I got to do that for a number of years until I had my oldest, and then I had to move on and take care of her. But there are just a lot of things.

And I think if we write them down even, or we put a note on our desk—people talk about "remember your why"—and then we also forget how to define the why. So I think there's something to that. Are we finding some joy in these everyday moments?

Just this morning, I got to walk into school with a friend I have. I haven't seen him for a while between summer and just busy school years. We parked right next to each other, and I literally pointed at him in his car and was like, "You! I get to walk in with you!"

Just some small moments of joy we can find—it doesn't reduce the work, it doesn't reduce some of the things we're going to face, doesn't take them away—but I think it also shines a larger spotlight, so we're not so hyper-focused on those things that are perhaps fatiguing us.

Favorite Stories from the Book

Winston Benjamin (29:15):
The weight on my shoulders is feeling better right now. So thank you. Sometimes you've got to hear somebody go through the same thing you did or you do in order to feel a little bit like, "Oh, I'm not alone." So that's also part of the process and the value of this conversation, why we're trying to bring it to our audience.

But do you have a favorite story or section from the book? What's something that's either a favorite story or your favorite part or section of the book?

Diane Manser (29:47):
Yeah, I actually have two. One's going to be a "growth needed" story, and the other one is a story of recovery and redemption.

So the one story I call it the Clark Coffee Roll, and it was my very, very first day of teaching. Twenty-two years old. It's September, summer hot, and we were not allowed to have any food or drinks in the classrooms. Students couldn't have anything outside the cafeteria.

And this boy was walking into my classroom—I taught seniors at the time, I should add—so he had a large takeout coffee in his hand, and I decided in that moment, which I would not do today (we do so many different things once we learn through them), but I decided to tell him that he couldn't go into the classroom until he threw it away.

And that did not go over very well at all, as you can imagine. In fact, I cringe telling the story, and it's a story I kept very close to me for many, many, many years. I was embarrassed, and I knew I blew it as soon as I did it. It just created such conflict, and I made that error.

But now I say it, not so much in exaltation, but I say it to say we all have these kinds of stories where we look back later and we're like, "I had ten other options that I could have done, and I chose that option." But now I know why I did, because in learning about myself, I knew that there was that insecurity piece, and I did not want the student walking in there with the coffee, because I was afraid then that person and everybody else in the class would know that I disregarded the rules, and then I was going to have a much bigger problem on my hand.

So yeah, I asked him to throw it away. It didn't go well. He got very angry with me, and then I kind of joined in that effort. It went back and forth, and you almost know how that ends.

The other story that I have—it comes towards the end of the book—is those stories where you make those right moves, and you see a student isn't perhaps doing what they—what you know they can do or what you hope they can do, and you wait for that better time, and you have that one-on-one conversation, or you go up to them and you say, "I just have to let you know that today's class just didn't quite feel right for me today, and I just need to know how we can get ourselves back on track and reset ourselves." Just being able to match them and to say, "I see where you are, and can we keep moving this in a positive direction?"

Another story that I love is a student who had a really difficult time in ninth grade, and then he came back to me a couple years later and told me how much he appreciated me, because I was always kind to him even though he was difficult and was going through a really hard time. And I gave him that space, and he said, "I just—I'll never forget how much you loved me, even though I know that it was a really hard year for me."

And he left my room and I just thought, I don't know if any profession gives you those gifts more than teaching does, even though it comes from a place of challenging emotions.

Yeah, thank you so much for that question. That's a big question.

Winston Benjamin (33:06):
Thank you for that.

Book Resources

Paul Beckermann (33:08):
All right, so hearing all this about your book makes me want to dive into it, and I'm sure some of our listeners also want to do that. And I know you offer some extras along with that. So on your website, you have some study questions and some other resources. Do you want to talk about what you have there and how people might find that?

Diane Manser (33:26):
Oh, I would love to, thank you. Yes, please head over to my website. It's teachingisemotional.com. And then from there, if you do a backslash "books," you'll see the book there. You'll also see a connection to the book study section of the website, and there are chapter-by-chapter guides. You can also get a sample of the book as a download to see if it's right for you, so you can preview it.

And one of the gifts I've been given over these last couple of years, year and a half since publishing it, has been joining in people's book studies. So I've met teachers all over the country, which is so cool because they're reading the book with a friend, and they'll send a message on the website and say, "We'd love to have you join us on this day. We're reading your book, and we're in this chapter. Do you want to meet?" And I'm like, "Absolutely!" And we set up a Zoom or we somehow get connected to each other.

I've joined in more formal book clubs too at schools that are running it for flex days or other kinds of PD, but even just teachers who are reading with other teachers.

So that book study page will give you—each chapter will give you guiding questions, discussion questions that you can even stand alone, just questions that will offer you insights into the emotionality of teaching. Then you can share them with your friends as you're reading.

But I think anytime you can have a guide and have something to center your questions on, it always makes for rich conversation, especially when we're dealing with personal topics. Sometimes we're not quite ready to share the personal topics, but you can share my personal topics, and you can say, "Oh, I understand the emotion of this. Let's talk about this part of the book where this thing happened here."

Paul Beckermann (35:14):
Awesome.

What's in Your Toolkit?

Winston Benjamin (35:16):
So it's time to ask the question: What's in your toolkit?

[Transition Music] (35:23):
Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out. What's in the toolkit? Check it out.

Winston Benjamin (35:33):
What are you taking away from today that you can add to your toolbox to go and apply to your life moving forward? Rena, Paul, what's in your toolkit?

Rena Clark (35:46):
Often, I've just been thinking about even my experience lately. We're so—we're alone. We have our students, but it really can be a lonely profession. You're in your classroom, often alone. So I think also being able, at least for me as a processor, is having someone to talk to. And in this case, Diane talked about whether it's a professional or a close friend. In my case, my spouse is also an educator, so he has a different understanding. But I think it's important not just to bottle these things up, but to have someone to talk to about it and process with you as well.

Paul Beckermann (36:22):
Absolutely, that's so important, Rena. I like one of the things that Diane was sharing—she talked about the sticky note that she has by her desk. And I think that's really a powerful thing, because it's a visual reminder of an action you can take, or a mindset that you can have, or a reminder of your why again. Because in the midst of the day-to-day struggle, we can lose sight of that sometimes.

I know that I used to keep a drawer of thank-you cards or things that students would have given me, or maybe written on something, or just a reminder to myself of a conversation with a student. And if I was having a really bad day, I could look at some of those things and remind myself of the balance that I need to keep in that moment, and it is rejuvenating. It really does help. And I guess that's my toolkit.

Winston Benjamin (37:11):
I'm going to take what Rena said and add on. I do 100% agree with the current process of talking to a therapist, but I think it's important, as we discussed, that Diane discussed, is the importance of really unpacking your own past experiences that cause you to have triggers when engaging with young people, because young people are the most effective at pushing a trigger.

Paul Beckermann (37:46):
You've got to be good at something!

Winston Benjamin (37:50):
But I do think it's important to recognize what and how you want to be respected, and how that is a part of some of your own past, because some of the fights that we have as young teachers is really about respect. So thinking through what does that mean? How do we deal with that? How do we engage with that? How do we look at someone else looking at us through their eyes? Diane, what are you thinking? What would you like to add?

Diane Manser (38:21):
Yeah, thank you so much. I love that you pointed that out. That's the crux of the work. Thank you so much for the beautiful summary—that when we can understand ourselves, again, it doesn't take any of it away, but it certainly gives us a place to move. And that's what I've wanted this entire time: I want to stay connected to why I joined the work in the first place. And that's really my big goal—to stay as connected as possible to what brought me into teaching in the first place, and to share with others that we can love this work and we can enjoy our days, and we can love being a teacher, just as we always hoped we could.

And sometimes we can get a little bit caught up in the weeds and the details and the triggers and all the things, but we're always able to move ourselves to a better and more hopeful and resilient place, a place of empowerment.

Paul Beckermann (39:16):
Fantastic. I think that's a perfect time for us to jump into our One Thing.

The One Thing

[Transition Music] (39:19):
It's time for that one thing, time for that one thing, that one thing.

Paul Beckermann (39:29):
All right, One Thing time. Final takeaway for the day. Rena, why don't you go first? What do you got?

Rena Clark (39:36):
All of this conversation has made me think about one of my mentors who has said to me, "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." And I think that's really good advice. I think, Diane, you are similar—it's like I just have to have everything ready, and sometimes I've gone back in the classroom after being out nine years, and I know too much of what it should be, but I sometimes want it to be so perfect that that can be the enemy of good. And it can be overwhelming, and when you're tired and you're not your best self, it does nobody any good. So my own little mantra has been: Don't let perfect be the enemy of what can be good.

Paul Beckermann (40:13):
Winston, what are you thinking about?

Winston Benjamin (40:16):
So I love music. I'm thinking about a Richie Havens song, "Follow." It is a beautiful song. And in the song, he's talking about being in the garden and being hit by the whispers of the wind.

Again, I think this profession is beautiful because it's like a garden. There's bugs, there's dirt, there's all of that—because sometimes they bring it into class, you understand, it's just all of it—but watching a flower that you thought wouldn't blossom, and the beauty of it. Sometimes you see it, and that's really what's making me appreciate the heaviness of this, but also I've watched some really beautiful flowers grow, and that makes me happy that I was able to witness it. So that's what I'm thinking about.

Paul Beckermann (41:14):
Oh man, Winston, now you're going to make me want to run to school right now and work with some kids.

Winston Benjamin (41:18):
I'm telling you, bro. Tomorrow, I've got to go back tomorrow.

Diane Manser (41:23):
And that was so poetic. Oh, I love it. I'm actually thinking of an activity I could do with that in class.

Paul Beckermann (41:35):
I would say my One Thing: I'm just really appreciative of Diane sharing her story and putting that in a book so others can experience that. Because I think too often we do hold those stories too close to ourselves, and we don't let other people know the experiences that we've had. And by sharing those experiences, we don't feel so alone.

It's not just for the storyteller, it's for the people hearing too. It's to hear that somebody else had a struggle that I had. To hear that not only did they have a struggle, but they found a way to kind of come through as a better person on the other side. I think we need to share and connect, because man, teaching can be an isolating profession. We're sitting in that classroom all by ourselves, and there's three minutes between classes or whatever to talk to a colleague—perhaps, if you're not working with a student.

So share those stories, connect with others. It is a shared experience, and I think there's power in realizing that.

All right, Diane, you get our final microphone moment today. What would you like to leave our listeners with?

Diane Manser (42:39):
Thank you. I am going to leave with great advice I received from my volleyball coach in college, and he would tell us every practice, every game, to "better the ball." Every time, better the ball.

So if there was an errant pass, there better be someone chasing that down, and your goal is to better the ball. Going with what Rena said, it's not to make it perfect. It's not to make this chaotic, broken play into a perfect system, but it's to better the ball.

And I've thought about that over my years of teaching—metaphorically speaking, of course—but the idea here is that we're bettering the situations that are coming into us so we can see those flowers grow. And in my situation, I get to watch those students grow from ninth grade to twelfth grade. That's a gift, and that's something that everyone gets to see, and it's very priceless. It's beautiful.

And when we really get to honor that and to say that was a privilege of ours, I think is when we are bettering the ball in our own classrooms.

Closing

Rena Clark (43:40):
I love that. All right. Well, that's something for us to really—I think it's going to be stuck in my head. I'm going to just better the ball. I really appreciate you. I think this is really helpful. It reminds us, and in the end, it's our humanity and the human side of teaching that we often—sometimes when we talk about data and all these things, but we need to recognize that human element. So I appreciate this.

So again, Diane, thank you so much for sharing. And I hope if you're listening, you will check out Diane's website, teachingisemotional.com, and there you can find her book and all of those resources that she talked about. And then, who knows, maybe in a few years, book number two. We'll see.

Diane Manser (44:25):
Maybe! I just thank you from the bottom of my heart—the most sincere and warmest thanks to each of you for having me be on today, be your guest. I've been following you. You are celebrities to me, so the fact that I've gotten to be on your show is really an honor. So thank you so much. And all of you listening, thank you for listening to the episode. Please go on the website, drop me a line. I want to hear from you, and I would love to join you in your book talks.

Rena Clark (44:50):
Thanks for listening to Unpacking Education.

Winston Benjamin (44:53):
We invite you to visit us at avidopenaccess.org, where you can discover resources to support student agency and academic tenacity to create a classroom for future-ready learners.

Paul Beckermann (45:06):
We'll be back here next Wednesday for a fresh episode of Unpacking Education.

Rena Clark (45:11):
And remember: Go forth and be awesome.

Winston Benjamin (45:14):
Thank you for all you do.

Paul Beckermann (45:16):
You make a difference.