Haters Gonna Hate…

Today I discuss the haters of the world. Those that simply refuse to work hard or put in the time and energy. Instead, they project their lack of motivation and self worth on to others. Making excuses as to why it’s everyone else’s fault, they aren’t happy. 

I talk about feeling bad or apologizing for being successful? Why? Don’t apologize for earning things. I feel society expects wealthy people or good looking, in shape people to feel bad? No one should feel bad, unless they have committed crimes or harmed others to get where they are? Don’t ever apologize for being successful!

I also discuss energy. Manifesting what you want. Putting energy out there. How energy affects us. 

What’s been keeping me up? Energy…

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Ramblings of an Insomniac. I am Courtney. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. Welcome, welcome. I want you to hear these birds just a minute. I don't know if you can hear them all, but they are awake and saying, Wake up, wake up. It reminds me of the Cinderella. Um, the scene in Cinderella where they're like telling her to get up and they're chirping at her that it's time to wake up. And the birds right now are like, hey, don't waste this morning. It's lovely out. Let's not waste it. Let's get up, let's breathe in that fresh air and get our motor running. Get our motor running. Head out on the highway. I mean, you don't have to head out on the highway, but you know, zoom, zoom. It's time to go, right? I used to be a major night owl, and I still um not intentionally am before I was an intentional night owl, but I also had insomnia, so it was kind of both. I mean, I wanted to be up, and I couldn't sleep anyway. So now I just have insomnia, but I prefer to be a morning person. And it's kind of funny because I'm like, oh man. So it begins. I'm becoming old. I'm doing that transition now where um I want to go to bed fairly early, by like 10, and then which for me is early because again, I have such insomnia, but I've always been a night hour where I like to go to bed like one o'clock in the morning. Um, but now I want to go to bed like anywhere from 9 30 to 10. And then I want to get up, especially like in the summer, I want to get up like at 5 30 so that I have time to like chill out before other people get up. I can go out and sit on the porch and drink some coffee and have time to wake up before anybody else gets up and like let the dogs out and you know, um, and that kind of stuff. Um, and plus I just feel like the day gets wasted if you wake up later, you know, you're wasting that good sunlight. And so right now I'm freezing my butt off, but I thought, you know what? I'm gonna stand outside. I'm gonna breathe in the good stuff, I'm gonna breathe in that fresh Oregon air. I mean, I hate our politics, but man, I love this state. I really do. If we could get our act together on the politics, this state would just be frickin' bad ass. But I'm sitting here yesterday, it was 75 degrees, you guys. 75 degrees in April in Oregon. Do you know how red that is? Oh, what is this? Oh, it's an elder beetle. I hate those motherfuckers. They're such assholes. Anyway, I'm sure they have a purpose. They're probably food for bats or something, but I hate those guys. Anyway, um it's it was 75 yesterday. And again, one thing I absolutely am so f freaking grateful for is that I get to just like be outside with dogs on beautiful days and play with dogs. I mean, how amazing is that? And I don't mean to say it because I'm bragging, I don't mean to keep talking about it to be like, look what I have, because I am well aware that there are people out there that are doing jobs that they don't like, they don't want to be doing. And I've had those jobs and I've worked those jobs, and I've also had jobs that I absolutely loved. And I am just getting to an age now where um the opportunity, I worked for this opportunity, and I networked for this opportunity, and I put in a overtime, overtime, overtime, like you would not believe, for this opportunity. And I got to meet people and network, and so it didn't just like fall into my lap, you know, I had to make it happen and sacrifice a lot to get to this point, and so I love it because I get to wake up and my office is wherever I want it to be, you know, it's outside or it's in, you know, it's in people's homes, which takes some getting used to. Um, I'm over the top respectful. I'm respectful, probably annoyingly so, because um one of my bosses, um, I would stay there for her um if they wanted to go on vacation because they had to be there 24-7, 365 days a year. And they were not gonna just leave their business to someone they didn't trust. They were very, very, very diligent about making sure things were taken care of. And and they trusted me, and I'd been there for a long time, and um, I proved that they could trust me. And so I would stay at their house and they would be like, okay, so use the kitchen, you know, use the oven, make yourself at home, you know, sit down in the living room, do all the things, you know, this is your home for now, and be be comfortable, you know. Of course, pick up after yourself, but like be comfortable. Well, they had a back bedroom that I stayed in. And um, instead of using the living room or the kitchen or anything, I would buy myself things to either make sandwiches or microwaveable stuff because I didn't want to use the oven. And then I didn't want to sit at their dining room or on their couch because I felt so weird. So I would just like they had a TV in the bedroom that I stayed in. So I would just basically make the TV my living room and I would sit in there and um they would get back, and I'm really, really weird. Like I would never, I don't go through people's stuff. I really don't. I don't look through their cabinets. I get super weird about using utensils. So I will get myself paper plates and plastic forks. And um, and she's my boss that I that I've known forever, and I know that she truly, truly wanted me to make myself comfortable, but I have been this way since I was a kid. I've never, ever, ever liked staying at other people's houses, even when they're my best friends, even when the parents made it very clear that they, you know, I loved the parents, I love my friends. It wasn't them that made me feel uncomfortable. I am just a weirdo about that. I'm I'm a homebody. Again, I'm an only child and I've had a messed up home life, and I've I was raised pretty much by neighbors and always being at my neighbors' houses. Um, but I I didn't like it. I wanted a lot of times I was fortunate enough that they would come to my house and stuff too, and I preferred it. I just um again I had night terrors when I was a kid, and I had I slept walk when I was a kid. I talked in my sleep because I had such a messed-up childhood. I had massive troubles with sleeping again. I had not only the insomnia, but and the insomnia came later. When I was a kid, I slept and I had horrific nightmares. I had recurring nightmares. Um, and I also had the same three recurring nightmares. And I walked in my sleep, I talked in my sleep. It was a whole thing. I did that till I was like 15. So of course I didn't want to stay at people's houses, you know, not when I'm a hot fucking mess. And so, you know, when I'm at people's houses now, it took a lot of getting used to. And right now, you know, when you're staying somewhere for a good hunk of time for over a month, you have to kind of just go, okay, I can't just stay holed up in a bedroom for a month. You know, you can't do that. But I'm still being a weirdo as an, you know, I I don't like using the utensils and the plates, and I don't like, um, the other day I needed to find a um pen, and I didn't want to like look through the drawers because I was like, oh my god, I don't want it to seem like I'm looking through their belongings. And and I was and they were already like, Courtney, seriously, you're gonna be here for over a month. Like, you can't just like hold like they are so nice, they're very, very, very good people. And they made it clear that they want me to be comfortable, and I know they mean it. But I didn't even want to look for a pen. Like I was like, oh my god, this looks like I'm being like a weirdo, and it's not like I was, you know, going through bedrooms looking for a pen. I just mean out in the kitchen, you know, I was trying to find a pen. And um, so I'm just a weirdo. So you have to get over that heart, but it's lovely because like today, um, well, I spent yesterday, I actually went to church because it was Easter yesterday, so I got permission from the people that I'm watching their dogs for way ahead of time to go to church and go out and do some stuff on Easter, and I did that, and it was lovely. But then um I came back. Well, before I left, I took the dogs on a walk, and then I came back and the dogs and I went on a walk, and then we played in the yard for a ton. We were outside for like four hours yesterday, soaking up that good sun, that good vitamin C D. C D vitamin D. Yeah, final answer. Now I don't know. It's vitamin D. Okay, I'm gonna go with vitamin D. If I'm wrong, I'm sure people will correct me. Because vitamin C is like citrus, like orange juice and all that. Yeah, so we're gonna go with vitamin D. But anyway, soaking up the sun at any rate, right? And I'm sitting here currently watching hummingbirds, which reminds me, you guys, I have a flicking story to tell you. And okay, I know what everyone's gonna say, and I know all the things because I'm a very logical person. Um, I'm not someone that's gonna just believe something is a ghost or a UFO or whatever. It takes a lot of, I'm very science-minded, so I try to debunk things. Um, I always try to find the the cause or the, you know, the reason. I've said this a million times in podcasts. I'm always trying to put together the puzzle. I ask why a lot because I want to know why things work, how things work, you know, um, with humans, with things in general. I'm like, wow, what makes this tick? Why, why, why? So I don't go to things like, oh, this is some mysterious thing. I just thought this was cool and I'm just gonna share it, and I realize that there's a there are logical explanations for it, but I found it cool nonetheless because of the timing. So here's what happened. Speaking of birds, in case you guys are wondering why all of a sudden I was talking about humming birds, and then I was like, oh, squirrel. Um, so I am um I went to go open up a door, a front door that I never use because again, I'm at someone else's home and there's this other door that I use. But I keep in mind, um, so we're coming up on my mom's um the anniversary of when my mom passed away. And I, and and everybody in my family pretty much has passed away on my birthday or right around my birthday. So April just kind of sucks for me. And I um was missing my mom, and I was I was talking to her, and I was just like, man, I miss you, and you know, wish you were here. And um, my family has always had this thing with like birds and stuff, and so I was just like, wish you were here, wish you were here. And then um the other day I went to go open up a door that I never ever use. And this particular doorway, this entrance of the front door has a very deep um entryway, as in like um it's not a it's like a foyer, but but a porch, like, and the steps are like very deep and far apart and like heavy, thick steps. And so I'm I'm describing these things to you for a reason. And um there's no the windows um for the house are in a position where if a bird were to hit a window and like be dazed, you know, they would they would fall in front of the window, basically. They're not gonna hit a window, be dazed, hop up two very bulky, very spaced apart steps, and then hop all the way up into where the entrance of this door was because it's a very deep, like that'd be a lot to do if you're dazed. So this, like I said, for this bird to have like hit something or be dazed, or even if it wasn't a window, how the bird would have had to fly into where this door is is kind of interesting. But it could happen, and I know that it could, and it probably did. Um, but this bird, um, and I looked it up, it was something like a orange we um something type of fish. Orange, it's a green. I don't know why it's called an orange, because I think it's supposed to have a little bit of orange on its head. I didn't see one on it, but it it's uh actually it was like an olive green little bird. But anyways, I digress. You don't need to know that. Point being, bird, open up a door that I don't usually use, and this bird is sitting on the doormat. And at first I was like, okay, maybe he's just chilling. But again, it'd be kind of weird for him to be chilling where he was. But I was like, all right, cool, you do you, little dude. I'll leave you be. But I also wasn't sure if he was hurt, but I didn't want to like freak him out, so I kind of like shut the door and gave him a moment in case, you know. And after like five minutes, I opened the door again and he's still there, and I'm like, oh man, little buddy, you must be hurt. So I kind of bend down very, very gently, and the little guy sits up and hops into my hand. And I'm like, well, if you're hopping into my hand, that's interesting. So maybe it's like your wing or something. So I just kind of let him sit there for a minute and chill, and I don't move, and then I, after I've been sitting there for a minute and don't move, I very, very lightly with the same hand that he's sitting on, use my thumb to gently like start stroking him. And he lets me, and I'm like, okay, and I do that for a while, and then I very, very slowly bring him up, you know, toward my my chest and up slowly to me. And I'm kind of cupping him against me, and now I'm just holding him there for a while, and he's allowing me to do it. And I'm like, okay, and then I again start gently, very softly, very gently, brush him with the thumb of my hand. And we do that for a bit, and then I want to check him out and see if it's his wing or what's happening with this dude. And I don't know what I was gonna do about it, but my grandma and I used to, she used to mend birds and kind of care for them, and I just thought, okay, or I could look up, you know, if there's like an animal place around here like there is where I live. So anyway, I I so I kind of move where I can sort of check him out and he allows me. And now I'm kind of like, okay, and I'm I'm letting him sit on my hand, which he seems to be doing, and he's also holding on to me pretty uh has a pretty good grip with his hand, with his feet, and he seems to be standing on his feet pretty well. They don't appear to be broken, so I'm inspecting him, inspecting him, and then I try to check out his wings, and everything seems okay, and I'm like, okay. So then I'm just like chilling out and I bring him closer to me again, and um, and I don't have him to where he can't fly away. If he wants to fly, he can. I don't make it where he's he feels trapped or anything, and I'm not talking a whole lot to him. Um, just every now and then I'm like, hey guy, how you doing? And then I gently brush him a little bit, but otherwise we don't say much to each other. I just kind of am like, wow, this is amazing. I'm not kidding you. This lasted for like 10 minutes. He just sat there for like 10 minutes, and then all of a sudden, he just flies off. And I was like, and flies off as if nothing happened. So I'm like, okay, maybe he hit something and he's dazed. Maybe something happened and he, but but I think it's kind of weird that if he was dazed for him to hop up these two steps and then go all the way into this very deep entryway to the front door. Seems like a lot of work for a bird that's dazed. But I don't know what else I thought it was. I just kind of thought, you know, I was talking to my mom the other day, and maybe it's her way of saying, hey, because it's odd, I I never used that door either, and I decided to go out that door. I never heard a bird hit the window or anything, which doesn't mean, you know, again, there's a million very logical, reasonable explanations as to why that bird was there, but he didn't seem hurt. Um, again, he could have been dazed, but he didn't appear to be hurt. And it was just it was just cool. Um, you know, I'm not saying it was my mom or something. I'm not saying that my mom became a bird or anything like that. I just love that maybe she sent the bird to me to go, hey, it's okay. You know, and if not, it still made me feel okay. I have, you know, I just have this special connection with birds, you know. Like I say, I don't always like them on me a whole lot. Um, like birds with big talons, you know, big feet. They their feet kind of creep me out, and I'm always afraid they're gonna like peck me. But that's domesticated birds, believe it or not. Wild birds don't bother me. Domesticated birds do. So I don't know. I thought it was kind of kind of cool. So when I came out here, there's been hummingbirds that will come like right up to me, right up to me. I've done some podcasts when I was watching some hummingbirds, and um I named one of them Michelangelo, and um I just love bird watching. And that again, I love that I am in a position where I can do that because you know, I don't know. I feel like this country and and our culture has gotten where we get jealous of something that other people have, and then we're like, they don't deserve to be happier. It must be nice. We say things like, oh, it must be nice for you to be able to do that. It must be nice. And I'm bringing that up because when I was younger, I used to do that. I used to be like, gosh, it must be nice to have, you know, a job that you like. It must be nice to be retired. And it's like I forget that people earn that, you know. Uh a lot of billionaires, most billionaires, most wealthy people earned it. Most of them did not win the lottery, most of them did not inherit the money, and a lot of them that did inherit money continue the business and continue to successfully run the business and continue to work in that business that they inherit, therefore continuing to earn money. And so I used to feel kind of guilty that I like my job. And I'm like, why are we conditioned to feel guilty for being happy? Just because other people in the world aren't happy or don't like their jobs or have a hard job doesn't mean I can't be happy that I like mine. And I used to think that. I used to feel a lot of guilt if I had something that someone else didn't, or if my life was going well. And let me tell you, I I deserve my life to go well because I have been through hell and back. I have not had an easy life at all. And although I have also had some amazing things happen, and I have also been blessed in a lot of ways, and I have certainly been fortunate in a lot of ways, I have also had a lot of tragedy and a lot of really not cool things in my life that I've had to go through, um, many, many not cool things. And so I don't begrudge my happiness anymore because I'm like, you know, F people that don't want others to be happy because they're ticked off at their life, or because they made bad choices, they've made their bed and they're lying in it, you know. New York and California, I'm talking to you, UK, I'm talking to you, all of Europe. Um, you know, when you make bad choices and people warn you over and over and you continue to flip people the bird and not listen, don't be pissed off then when your choices bite you in the butt. Let me tell you, my choices have bit me in the ass. I haven't always made good ones, and um, you know, that's that's my fault. But I've also worked my ass off, and I have also deserved to like my job, and I deserve to be happy, and I'm not gonna feel bad for that now. I have been a hard worker my entire life. I have worked for everything that I have, and um and so I think that people need to stop doing that. Those that do, those that feel bad, those that apologize, don't apologize for success. Don't ever apologize for being successful. Don't apologize for being pretty. Don't apologize for being white or straight. Don't apologize for being black, gay, Native American, Asian, fat, skinny, short, tall, man, woman, or unicorn or whatever. Don't apologize for it. Be you, be proud of you, but be a good you, you know. Apologize if you're being an asshole. Then yeah, then you should apologize. Apologize if you are being fraudulent, California, Gavin Newsom, I'm talking to you, Tim, Timmy, um, or anybody, doesn't matter, anybody, Republican or Democrat, whoever. Um, if you're harming people, if you're hurting people, apologize for that. You know, if you're doing illegal things, okay, apologize for that. That but otherwise what on earth is that noise? Anyways, apologize for that. You don't have to apologize though for being um for being happy, for being successful, for being, you know, having things, for having jet skis and boats and stuff. Like I get real tired of people being like, oh, it must be nice to be skinny. It must be nice to have money. It must be nice. It's like I've never had well again, I've had some jobs where I've made really good money. And then I've had jobs where and really good money as in I made good money, but I was um a single income. So I made good money if I had two incomes, but I only had one income. So um, but I I again I've told this story before. I have never been a lazy person, and I've always watched um if I eat unhealthy, because I do, I do eat unhealthy sometimes. I definitely indulge sometimes, but I've always, my entire life, I've been very, very, very disciplined and very good about going, okay, I ate like crap for you know a couple of days. So now I need to not eat like crap. I need to do some extra steps. I need to make sure that I don't keep weight on. I need to make sure I keep weight off. And so, you know, there's always balance. But, and I've always been active. I don't sit around, I don't lay around. I'm a very active person. So I maintain my weight because I've earned it. I've maintained my weight because I'm conscious, I'm conscientious of what I put into my body. And if I put crap into my body, I know to turn around and not put crap into my body. I know that if I have a lazy day, then I need to turn around and not have a lazy day. And my I don't have lazy days very often. I'm always active, and so I stay pretty thin. And so I get tired of people that are overweight going, it must be nice. I used to be like, uh, you know, apologize for it. And I'm like, what the fuck am I apologizing for? It's not my fault that you make bad choices. And if one more overweight person tells me, well, it's it's actually a um, I have a disease, I have a condition that prevents me from losing weight. No, there's no such condition. There are uh like it's like a 2%, 2% of the population has some type of condition that makes it difficult, not hard, not in po I mean not impossible, not impossible. Difficult, maybe hard to lose weight, but not impossible. It just means unfortunately you'd have to work a lot harder, which is horrible. And I feel bad for people like that. That does suck. That really, really, really, really sucks. And there are definitely diseases, and there's medications out there. There are medications out there that make you blow it up and gain weight. But again, these are choices. You can make other choices, you can take, you can do herbal stuff, you can do, you know, different things. And if you can't, I'm sorry, that sucks. That really does. But it still doesn't mean that I'm some sh that I just woke up and was skinny. Like, no, I actually um work on my being thin, and I have gained um 40 pounds once. That's the most weight I've ever gained in my entire life. And on me, 40 pounds looks like about 80. It really does. People, I've have good friends that are good friends because they tell me the truth and they agree. I don't, you know, 40 pounds on me looks well about like 60. And so I didn't like it. And I was like, I'm not okay with this. No. And 40 pounds to other people, maybe someone's like, oh, only 40 pounds? Okay. And again, if that's not a lot to you, that's not a lot to you, and that's fine. But me, for me personally, I don't allow myself to get over like 15 pounds of what my normal weight should be. But normally I just keep it at an average, I keep my weight average because I'm conscientious about it. I put in the time, I put in the work, I make the choices. So therefore, my the consequences are I'm healthier than others. So other people shouldn't begrudge me that. They should put their own effort and time and energy into it. They should also be disciplined like I am. They should also make good choices. So when someone is wealthy, people forget that there is someone behind that wealth who has suffered. There are a lot of people that are wealthy now that came from very, very troubled backgrounds, very poor backgrounds, and had not great lives. And they had to scratch and claw to get to where they are. They had to um sacrifice a lot. So people don't usually just wake up rich. Again, there are people that inherit money, and there are people that win the lottery, but those people are few and far between. And um, and again, just because you inherit money doesn't mean you're not carrying on that business and keeping that business going, you know. So I now, if anyone ever does say that to me, it must be nice to be skinny. My comeback is it is you should try it. It's fucking fantastic to be skinny. Maybe you should try it. And that may be a bitchy thing to say, but it's a bitchy thing for no one, no one ever cares when an overweight person disses on a skinny person. Like you're allowed somehow to be an asshole if you feel bad about yourself. And like, you know, we went through a time, and I feel like we're still going through it, where I apologize, but um, where I feel like it's okay for black people to say and do whatever. And white people, especially white straight men, are not allowed to say and do anything now. And um we've just gotten where it's like we think it's okay for a certain group of people to do something and be rude and be obnoxious and degrade others and get on social media and bully others or threaten people's lives because we disagree, because we don't like that someone else has something, or we feel like someone else has more rights than we do, or we feel like someone else has something that we want. And now somehow we've given carte blanche to people that that are victims, that think they're victims, to just do or say whatever and then threaten people's lives over it. We're not happy for others. We're not using that as a charge to kick start our own, be like, you know what? I want what those people have, so I now have fuel and the desire and the motivation to have what they have. I want that, so how do I get that? What are the steps I need to take? Maybe I should talk to those people instead of wanting to harm those people. Maybe I should talk to them and go, hey, I want what you have. How'd you get that jet ski? How'd you get that house? How did you get that vacation house? How did you get that car? How did you get that job? Instead, it's you have that, therefore I'm gonna unalive you for it. You have that, therefore I'm gonna demean you for it. You have that, there I'm therefore I'm gonna automatically think that you're corrupt, you got it from some corrupt way, or it was handed to you. Because no one can ever give credit to someone. Like women, a lot of times will tell another woman that they're pretty. They'll go, wow, you're really pretty. But women get jealous of that though. And why? We're we're all women, and women are very catty bitches. Let me tell you, I'm a woman. I can say this, and I'm people can't be like, speak for yourself. No, fuck you. I worked in offices, I worked at a clinic with a bunch of women. There were women CNAs, women nurses, women med techs, women receptionists, women doctors, and there were like two fucking men in the whole place. In the two like two men, uh, male doctors, and like a male med tech. And I'm telling you, working with a bunch of women is horrible. Horrible. We're catty fucking bitches. I don't care how much women get along, I don't care how much we're besties, working with a bunch of women is horrible. And because we get this weird thing where we can just never really truly be happy for each other unless we're like really truly best, best friends and stuff, you know, our real true best friends, you know. But women just get shitty with each other. And that's how humans have become in general. And I know people are gonna go, speak for yourself, I'm happy, and maybe, and you are. I do, I'm happy for people. I don't go around going eh anymore. I'm getting older now. But I feel like especially when you're younger, you're more like, and now there's influences out there, influencers out there, and so there are people that are younger and younger making money. And then you have the Justin Bieber and the Britney Spears and all the Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilar, the Disney and Nickelodeon kids that became childhood stars. And you know, you don't always want what someone else has because you don't know what's going on behind closed doors. You don't know what they had to do to get that. I mean, a lot of these childhood stars went through a lot of trauma, and their parents screwed them over, and their agents screwed them over, and their managers screwed them over, and the producer screwed them over, and just people, life, and fans screwed them over, and you know, the grass is always greener saying. We always, you know, like I always want to have like auburn hair or different hair. I hate my hair. I absolutely hate it, and I always have. And there are other people that are like, man, your hair is naturally that blonde. You have such blonde hair. Like it is, it's so blonde. I love it. I would kill for blonde hair and blue eyes, blonde hair and blue eyes, and I'm like, blough, really? I'm so boring, I'm so generic. And then, you know, even my maiden name is generic, which I'm proud. I'm very, very, very proud of my maiden name. I'm not dissing it, but you know, I just am like, I'm so to me, I'm like I'm the most boring person, but yet other people love blonde hair and blue eyes. I want dark skin, and you know, I've always wanted to be, we called it mulatto, sorry, I don't know. Now we say mixed race, I guess. But I always wanted to be mixed race, whether it's Asian and white, Hispanic and white, um, like I've told this story before. My um great aunt is white. She married a black guy. They had my cousin, who, if you were to just look at her, looked black. She then had two kids. Um, a girl who, if you were just to look at her, looked black, but had totally straight hair. It was hilarious, just very straight hair, but with the texture of like thicker texture. Then my cousin, so my cousin's son, looked as white as me, totally pasty, and had curly blonde hair and looked white like me, but with very curly hair. And so I was fascinated by that. And I'm like, man, I want to have like dark or like brown skin. I used to be obsessed with brown skin and dark hair. And then I got obsessed with um fair skin with a bunch of freckles and red hair. So, you know, the grass is always greener. We never want what we have. But we have to remember that other people are um, you know, other people wish they had what we do. And we should learn to be grateful for what we have. And if we don't like what we have, you know, there are options, and they may be difficult options and they may be really hard, maybe I can't talk today. They may be very difficult decisions, they may be hard choices, they may be um, it may be a very, very hard, long uphill road, uphill battle. Um but a lot of people are where they are today because they worked really hard for it and made that long journey uphill. They took that journey. They were like, all right, you know, this is gonna be difficult, but I'm all in and I I want this. So here we go, let's do it. And when they were told no, or when people were like, you can't do it, they were like, that's just fuel, that's like challenge accepted. You know, oh, you think I can't? Now I'm gonna. So, you know, again, when I was a kid, I used to be that person. Then I'm like, oh, it must be nice. And then um, not when it came to like people's looks or anything like that, or like I was happy for them, I wasn't begrudging them that at all. But I was like, I want that, you know. But I made some bad choices, I made some poor choices, and um, and now I'm making different ones, and I'm not going to apologize for you know having blonde hair and blue eyes because it's how I was born, and I can't help how I was born, and I'm not going to not be proud of myself because someone else thinks that um they are oppressed or they are a victim, and therefore I'm not allowed to love myself. You know, this misery loves company thing is just old, you know, it's really old. Just because you are miserable, don't begrudge others. Go out and dye your hair if you don't like your hair color. I mean, we're in the day and age now where you can have any bleeping color of hair you want. There are wigs now that look like real hair, there are hair extensions. So you can have your hair. There's contacts. There are contacts for people that you know don't have a prescription in them that you can just change the color of your eyes. I think you should be happy with yourself, but at the same time, if people want to color their hair, I've done it, I do it. So make those changes. If you feel you're overweight, do something about it, even if it's hard. Again, it's the people that give up that are like, it's hard. I mean, it's hard. Well, yeah. Yeah, usually, again, there there are always exceptions, but usually things that are um things that people want, you know, are are hard. They take some sorry, I gotta open up this door. It takes some some work, it takes some energy, it takes some time. Usually you don't just wake up and sorry, I went outside and the birds were chirping and I didn't want to scare them. Listen to that. Hang on. There we go. Um so don't be like whining about it, you know. Don't get on social media crying about your life. Again, crying's okay. I do it on my podcast. I'm not begrudging people that. Your emotions are your emotions. You should feel them. You're entitled to them. You don't need my permission to feel however you want to feel. All I'm saying is don't get up other people's asses and uh because you're feeling sorry for yourself. Don't project. You know, we know what you're doing. Just like there are groups of people out there right now throwing temper tantrums because they don't like something. Are they doing anything to change it? No. They're just throwing temper tantrums. So that's what people have become accustomed to doing. Oh, they have something and so they have it and I don't have it, so I want it. Give it to me. Give it to me. I want it, I want what they have, give me what they have. And then when they don't get it, they throw a fit instead of doing something about it, instead of working to get it themselves, instead of earning it. No, they have to destroy what other people have. I don't like their opinion. I don't like what they're wearing. Make it stop, make it stop, make them take off that hat. Make them take off that hat, make them take off that sweatshirt. It triggers me. How does it trigger you? Just walk the other way. It's a really you have choices. And these people don't make good choices. That's why you're not successful. That's why you're a big fat baby that gets triggered by everything because you don't make good choices. You could just walk the other direction, you could close your eyes, you could mind your own business. You have so many different options other than assaulting somebody because you don't like their hat or um threatening someone's life because you don't like their hat. There's other choices. It's not other people's fault that you're an asshole. Maybe you're just a shitty person and you don't have friends because you're a shitty person. Maybe you should change that about yourself. Maybe it's not because, you know, you're some kind of victim and people just don't get you. People just don't get me. You know, those people that think they're smarter than everybody and people just can't keep up with them, so they don't have friends. No, it's because you're a douche. Or people that scream and throw temper tantrums and um are alone. They're like, I'm alone because I can't find the right person. No, you're alone because you're a dickweed and no one wants to be around you. It's not your choice that you're alone. I mean, it is your choice that you're alone because you're how because of your behavior and your actions. But don't act like it's because you haven't picked the right person or men are shitty or women are shitty and everybody out there is shitty. It's because you're shitty. You're a shitty person that's made poor choices and people aren't attracted to you because of your choices. Because of you. So again, uh it's choices, you know. So don't be passing the buck and making excuses, because again, we've we've now become a world where everything is an excuse. I don't have it because. Okay. I'm sure you have a lot of hardship, and I'm sure it's incredibly difficult given where you live and your surroundings. And I'm sure that there are a million reasons why it is very, very, very difficult to succeed. But there are a lot of people out there who have come from very similar situations who are successful, and so they found a way. And not everybody is gonna have that opportunity. Some people are really genuinely going to put 129% into something and really try and not give up, and they're still not gonna succeed. And to those people, I feel bad. To those people, I genuinely feel bad for because I know that there are people out there that don't take no for an answer and that do try and don't give up and don't consider themselves a victim and don't covet what other people have. They get out and they do every single thing they can, and they they try and try and try, and they sometimes still don't make it. Those people I feel awful for. Those people I feel have a right to complain because you did do everything you can. But I know that I'm going to not feel bad if I have things. I can um have empathy for others, which I do, and I can help others, you know, I can donate, I can help others, I can pay it forward, I can have empathy, but I'm not going to feel bad for what I have. Because why should I? I work for it, I don't just lay around and you know, expect others to care for me. But like I said, I can still help others and I can have empathy for others and I can choose to, you know, help others in some fashion. But I don't know. My point is if you are happy, good for you. Be fucking happy. Don't let other people try to bring you down just because they're not happy. Don't let them vomit their negativity all over your, you know, your thing. You have the good aura going on, and so good things are happening. You know, you're manifesting good things, you are putting the energy out there, you're putting in the time, and now it's working out. That's awesome. You deserve gold stars and go use. So I'm going to tell you right now, if that's what you're doing, if you've been working your butt off and you have been putting in all the time and energy into something and it finally came to fruition and you were finally, I don't know, owning that business or having that job or you have lost the weight or put on the weight or got the muscle or whatever goal it is or the thing that you've wanted to achieve that you've finally achieved, go you. That is awesome. That is amazing. And not only do you deserve a pat on the back and a hell yeah, but don't let anyone take away your your glory. Like don't let them be dementors and suck the you know positivity out of you. You get this one life and live it. And if others have a problem with it, they can make different decisions, they can walk away, they can they can go out and get things. You do you be the best you so you work it. I'm proud of you. So I know you don't know me, and it doesn't probably matter at all for me to say that to you because I'm some stranger you've never met. And if you've listened to my podcast, clearly, I'm just a hot freaking train wreck. But for what it's worth, if you need to hear it from somebody, I genuinely mean it. Good for you, honestly. You deserve it, you've earned it. So woo woo doing a little robot dance. Robot, robot, robot, robot, and running man. Running man, running man, running man, and vogue, bogue, bogue, bogue, vogue. Okay. That's for you. And glitter bomb. Jazz hands. So that is what I'm that's what's on my brain. That's what's been on my brain is not letting other people suck the life out of me. You know, I've been telling you about the manifestation thing and the energy. It is true. You know, we are, it's all energy. It's all about energy. And the energy that we put out there, the energy we surround ourselves by, and you know, um, it's gosh darn it, I forgot the name of it. And all the sciencey people out there are gonna go, Courtney, it's called shoot. Um, and I just talked about it yesterday. This is how brain damaged I am. Um, it's the uh it's not a theory, but it's what actually happens, what has been proven that if you are watching something, it will change the trajectory of of where something is going. It'll whereas if you're not watching it, it stays on course or whatever. So something observed, when you're observing, observing something, when you're observing energy or whatever, it will it changes its pattern. And if you're not, then it doesn't change. And I can't remember what that's called. But anyways, the point is that they have the energy is affected by us, and we are surrounded by things that we can't see but very, very much affect us and affect our surroundings. And they did these um these tests on how people can learn to move things with their mind. What is that, telekinesis? Um, where you can um, if you're genuinely focused on something, you can change that energy enough. If you are genuinely just um at one with this thing, you can move it. And they were showing it how you can move a glass a little bit if you just think about it. And you have to train your brain to focus and hone in on that energy and feel that energy, but it just goes to show you that we all have that in us. We just don't tap into it. We don't, we don't focus in on that. Instead, we're choosing to focus in on being ticked off at someone else and and being like, oh, that Sally Sue, that Joe Schmo, and really we should just be on as much as I used to always think those dream boards or whatever, those um um, yeah, like the dream boards, if you and people saying, Oh, if you manifest it, I was like, oh my god, if I hear the word manifest one more time. But again, been all kinds of of data and science collected that it it's a it is a thing. Energy, I mean, I already know that energy is a thing. This isn't new to me. I've known that energy is always out there. I just meant the whole manifesting thing. Of course, if you put out good energy, it's going to probably work in your favor. But I didn't realize how much it can affect your life. And so just it's like the whole field of dreams thing. If you build it, they will come. Well, if you believe it and you work for it, it'll probably come. It may take a while, it may be a hard road, but gosh darn it, you'll get there. So keep trying. It's like the little engine that could, you know. Don't be hating on others, just get out there and use it as a challenge, use it as drive to get you where you need to be. All right, I've done enough blabin, I've done enough um yada yada ing. And um, I do want to say heck to the yeah, for those of you out there that are listening in other countries, those of you here in the states, those of you all over the world, I am so grateful, so so um appreciative of everybody out there that's been listening to my podcast. It means the world to me. You don't even know how much it means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I know it's, you know, not the best podcast. I realize that it's, you know, I babble and all of that, but I genuinely, for those of you that have listened to me more than once, again, mental fortitude. It's like the Navy, you have like Navy SEAL's brain because I put you through a lot of mental um to listen to this podcast, you have to have like mental strife because I digress a lot and I get sidetracked and you have to really like keep up. So you've got to, it's a good mental workout when you listen to my podcast. So thank you for doing it. I appreciate you all. I am wishing everybody out there the most, best day, night, evening, whatever it is day, night, and evening, night and evening are the same thing. Um, yeah. I wish you the best um 24 hours. No, the best week. No, the best month. I wish you the best life. I don't know. I just wish you the best. There we go. I wish you the best. There. Final answer. I appreciate you and um remember to control the things you can, to take a breath and let go of the rest. Until next time.