Different Strokes…

In this episode I discuss adrenaline! That crazy hormone that makes you want to live la vida loca. 

What’s keeping me up? Adrenaline. People that have a wild side. I wasn’t born with feeling the need to jump out of an airplane. But I appreciate those that want to feel the rush. I’ve always been Ms. Responsible. I want to do something crazy. But in a controlled a way…. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Ramblings of an Insomniac. I am Courtney. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to everyone. I hope you are enjoying your day. I know that in my neck of the woods it is beautiful. B-E-A-U-F. It's so awesome out, and I have been enjoying it. Um, I have been watering the lawn and taking care of the plants and taking the dogs on a walk and running some errands and all that good stuff, and I'm about ready to go back on a walk soon. So um I'm happy, and I'm happy when it's weather that I can work on my yard in. Because man, when you are when you see other people's yards, pardon me, sorry, and you see how immaculate they are, those people that have the yards with like really green grass, and like the edges are all sharp and crisp, and they have flowers, and the flowers are all like very maintenance and manicured, and the you know, they've got fresh new bark dust or or freshly tilled dirt, and it just always looks immaculate. I used to be like, Man, how in the hell can people do that? Like, well, my neighbor, I used to say that to them. I'm like, gosh, your yard's so beautiful. I wish I could have that. And he's like, honey. He's an older man, so he wasn't being like weird, but he didn't say honey, actually. He was like, Courtney, I'm retired, so I have time. You work full time, you work overtime. So you don't have the time that I do to spend on the yard. He's like, My hair did not look like this when I worked full time, when I had, you know, other things on my plate. He's like, not only do you work overtime, but you have other things that have come up. You've had a very chaotic life. And so I talked about this on my last couple episodes, that um it's so refreshing to like, I've been looking up on Pinterest. I don't know if people still use Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I think it's awesome. And I'll never forget I heard it about Pinterest through Reese Witherspoon on some Oprah thing way back before Oprah was a, well, she's always been a psychopath, I'm sure, but I never loved her. I never thought she was as great as everybody else did. But I do admit that I liked her though, or at least I liked the show. I always thought she was a little off. I mean that sincerely. I've said that to people, but I did like her, I but I always thought something was off. But anyways, I'll never forget Reese with a spoon talking about Pinterest. And this has been like, oh my god, like 25 years ago. Seriously. Like 20, 25 years ago, something like that, that I heard about it. And I was like, Pinterest. And then I kept hearing people talk about it and talk about it, and I'm like, all right, you know, I'll check this out. We'll see what this Pinterest is. And um, I loved it and I got addicted to it. And then I took a really long break, and now I'm back into it again because I the reason I took a long break was working a lot of overtime and having my life be a one thing after another, and I just, you know, the last thing on my mind was trying to figure out how to, you know, do the yard any more than I could. So now I love that I can go through and look at Pinterest and look at pictures and be like, you know, I mean, I still have a job, I work, I can't, you know, but it's nothing like I I did. And and I'm hoping eventually that when I do work, it'll be at my home. So, you know, I can I'll have more time. So um, isn't that time, you know? That's the that's the thing that we all that's a hot commodity, you know, time. We all think we have more than we do. And I don't mean to be a bummer and I'm not trying to be a buzzkill. Sorry if you hear a dog in the background drinking some water, we've been playing. We play a game called Spicy Jalapeno. Um, it's not a real jalapeno, it's a toy that looks like a jalapeno, a dog toy that looks like a jalapeno. And we play a little game with it and it racks me up and we call it spicy jalapeno. And so they're a little bit pooped out. But anyway, pardon me. Um, you know, when you're young, especially, you think you have a ton of it, and and it seems like you do, but then it's the cliche is so true, like you don't realize how fast time flies. You don't realize that, you know, one minute you're in kindergarten and you think that like 12 years old is ancient, you know, double digits is like ancient. And then you become a teenager and you think 25 is like older than crap, and you know, slowly the bar keeps moving. All right, take a break, Bubba. I don't want you to get bloated. Hey, I want you to have water, but you gotta take a little bit of a break. Anyway, um good boy. Um, you're not in trouble. But it's weird the bar kind of you know keeps getting pushed back the older that you get, and you realize, wow, time is important, time is precious, time is something you don't get back, and it's something not to be taken for granted. And we all get told this by, you know, people that are older, people that know, people that we should be listening to, but of course, never do because we always think we know what we're doing. We are why is that? You know, we do. We think that we know more than the people who have been through it. People that have been there done that, you know. And multiple people will tell us something who have been there, done that. It won't be just one person, you know, or two people, it'll be many people, and we still are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, learn by doing. We aren't all like that, of course. God man, I really, really I look at the people that are like Tom Cruise that have that adrenaline thing where they just seem like, you know, it's so scary, people like that. I would hate to be the parent of a child that has that like no fear. Because that's scary, obviously. If you, you know, or they have fear. I think it's not that they don't have fear, it that's the thing, is they like the feeling of the fear. So it's the opposite. They have the fear, but that adrenaline and that being scared, and also is that excitement, you know, and having a child like that, you know, that is involved in like X games, you know, like all those extreme sports, or that do stunt, you know, they work as stunt men or whatever. And the people like um, oh gosh, what's his name? Is it Alex? He does like the um free climbing, the um where he climbs, um, he base climbs and um he does it without any um equipment whatsoever. He's not attached to the mountain, he climbs like the faces of things, and um, and he's not attached at all. He just uses his feet and hands. And, you know, it's like, how do you live as a parent with a child like that? But at the same time, it's like, wow, you know, how amazing that there are people out there that are like, look, we're only in this body, however you want to look at it, you know, whatever your religion is, whatever your belief is. But, you know, we're in at least this body one time. And why not use it? You know, why not feel that rush? Gosh, pardon me. Why not feel that adrenaline, you know, go out and live. And I am in some ways a little bit like that. Like, you know, I'll eat different foods, I'll try different things, and I'll, you know, go to different countries and try different customs, but I am not an adrenaline junkie. I don't, I'm very much a that's not safe. Guys, hey guys. I've always been the um, I've done some things, you know, like I've snuck out, and unfortunately, I've done some stupid shit. Like I, my friend and I. Shout out to April if you happen to be listening. What what? Um, we thought it'd be a genius move to my parents had just got a brand new car. It was a Pontiac Grand Prix, which back then was fucking awesome. It was like 1989 or some shit like that. And um, pardon me. And we thought that um this car was so, oh god, still to this day, it's like my favorite car they ever had. That thing was aerodynamic as fuck and handled corners amazingly. I'm talking, I felt like a NASCAR driver. You could go so fast. Well, not I didn't feel like a NASCAR driver because gosh, pardon me. I paused to take a take some water, so I wouldn't keep clearing my throat, but dang. But that thing handled corners, and you would be going 80 and not even realize it. You genuinely would have no idea until you look down at the speedometer, and it's a digital one, so it said it like right there. And you're like, what? I'm going 80, and I'm I'm not kidding you. It felt like you were going like 50. That thing cut through. I God, I love that thing. I don't know why they didn't continue making them because that thing was fucking awesome. But anyway, so my parents had just got that, and um we lived in a smaller town at the time where everybody knew everybody, and for whatever reason, we didn't feel like walking our asses to the store, which actually would have taken us probably 20 minutes maybe to walk there, and 20 minutes back, okay? And we were young, so and but we didn't feel like it, and my parents had left the keys to the car. So, long story short, we thought that it would be a genius idea to take my mom's car, and um I drove there, and then she drove on the way back, and um I had never even been behind the wheel of a car other than like just sitting behind like um, you know, like I used to drive. I I used to um ride ATVs like three-wheelers all the time. Um, but I hadn't like driven like stupid stuff like on the beach, you know. I had been behind the wheel, like on the beach, but not like on the road, because I, unlike every other teenager in the world, had zero desire to get my driver's license. I was in no hurry. I was such a again, uh little uh-uh-mm. I was like, I don't trust 16-year-olds, I don't want to be out on the road. I wish that there was a way to get around without driving. I mean I could take the bike, but I lived in a very rainy area and incredibly windy, and so it just, you know, wasn't very feasible. But point being, we thought it would be smart for us to drive the car in a teeny town without driver's licenses. We did not have driver's licenses, and my parents brand new they had had it for, I don't know, like a week. I'm not kidding. Yeah, well, we got there, all was well. We were on our way back, and my other friend's mom just happened to be driving by because she lived in the same forkin town that we did. And again, like I mentioned earlier, teeny town, small town, very small. Um, and we thought, oh crap, this is not gonna go well. This time she was driving. And um, again, because we're morons and this is what you do when you're a moron, we thought that like I don't know what we thought actually. I don't think the problem is we weren't thinking. That's the issue from this entire uh beginning of the story. We just were not thinking, and um, we're driving along, and in the road that we were on, um, the speed limit was um 10 miles an hour for real. 10 miles an hour. And so we were like going real slow. And she comes by the other way, and we were getting ready to turn on to my little road. And she drives by and she can see us, and she's like, uh what the fuck? And she's looking right at us, and we sit there, and as she's going past and we're going past, we're just staring at each other, and she's looking at us like, um, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Because she knows she knows our age and she knows we don't have driver's licenses. So, you know, that's not good. So, of course, she now goes down the road, finds a spot to pull over, gets, you know, and follows me. You know, she goes to my house because we continue driving to my house and we're there, and she's uh, of course, talks to us. Well, point being to all of that, gosh, see, I almost started digressing, digressing, digressing. The point to all of that is I've never been a real, you know, woo-hoo, but I've done some shit. I have done some shit. And by the way, shout out to Allison's mom, Donna. If you're listening, Donna, you're fucking awesome. Because she never said a word to my parents. She gave us the whole, you know, I'm disappointed, this is dangerous, you know, you shouldn't risk this, don't do that, blah, blah, blah, and all that. But she never told my parents, and that was pretty awesome. Um, we weren't like drinking or anything like that, and she knew we like we were mortified, we felt so stupid. So, oh God, I think of things like that though, and I'm like, man, like if I had a kid who was like Tom Cruise or these people that have these adrenaline, you know, rushes and go out and do these crazy things, I'm like, I would be so fucking scared, shitless, all the time. Like, all the time. I would be a nervous wreck. I would never relax. I would always be thinking that this is the day. But again, I would also be like, but fuck yeah, good for them for like living life, for like feeling, for having that deep, like, you know, just truly living life, you know, and experiencing things and like knowing that even though you're scared, even though it freaks you out, you're still gonna do it anyway. You're still gonna try. And there is a huge difference between doing something that is, of course, um under like as in, so we all know that skydiving is obviously a dangerous thing and there's the potential of dying. But you are strapped to people who are professionals and you are around people that are professionals. You were in planes that are certified, you are with equipment that is certified. Or, you know, if you are bungee jumping or whatever it is, you're doing this with professionals and equipment that's professional and that gear that is checked. Like that's different to me than being like, oh, I'm gonna go and light fireworks at each other and throw M80s at each other. Like, that's just being fucking dumb. That's not like living life, that's just being an idiot. And I'm not talking about that stuff. Like, I'm gonna go drink and drive, I'm gonna go 900 miles down the road and risk other people's lives, you know. I'm not talking about that stuff. But I just don't have that. I wish that I did. Like my living life is going out and finding like calm and serenity. Like, I do love to go fast. I do like that, I admit. Like I love, like if there's a straight stretch and um I'm in a car that I feel like is handles well and everything and isn't gonna like, I don't know, I love to go fast, but only if I'm driving, not if other people are, because again, control freak, you know. Um, and love the idea of a motorcycle so much. Love the idea of it, love that exhilarating feeling. The only thing I like about flying, the only thing is, you know, when you are um careening down the runway right before you ascend. Love that. But um, you know, I went to those indoor I fly, those indoor skydiving things. And I loved it as long as I had something covering my face so that the wind didn't get in my face. That makes me panicky. That makes me panicky as fuck. I cannot like it. It gives me massive anxiety when wind is in my face. I hate that. I'm not someone that's down with wind. I mean, I love the idea of it. I love it when I'm inside. I love a good storm with wind, um, but not when I'm or if I'm turned around, you know. I just don't want wind in my face. Let's put it that way. I'm not gonna stick my head at a car window like dogs do. And so the indoor skydiving thing, that was awesome. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. So I had to wear the problem was I had to wear a helmet thingy that had a mask so that the wind didn't get in my face, and that made me panicky because another lovely quirk about me, super claustrophobic, and I don't want that shit on me. So um, but I had to be like, do I want that or the wind? But once I did that, I loved it. It was so fun. I had to like let go for a second. I had to get rid of that butterfly tickling in the stomach feeling that I don't like. I hate that tickling stomach feeling. But um, no. And I love, I've done the um dog bite suit. I've done that and I loved it. That was Hooper adrenaline rush, and it was Malinois, you know, a trained Malinois. And um, that was adrenaline rush, and I love things like, you know, boxing and hockey and that kind of stuff, but I am not, and like playing that kind of stuff, um, martial arts and that kind of thing. But I'm not gonna go, you know, I probably won't do real skydiving, and I'm not gonna go trying to climb a cliff without gear, and I'm not gonna bungee jump. No. But man, if you do that stuff, that's freaking awesome. I'm gonna like ride a horse and go roll around in a field and chase bugs, but that's my adrenaline. That's my high. But we all have our thing, right? That's me. Who cares? Um, we all have different things, different strokes for different folks, right? And that's what makes this world so freaking awesome is all of the customs and the different people out there, the different foods out there, the different um terrain, you know. That's kind of what I love about the United States is we've got, you know, valleys, we have mountains, we have oceans, we have desert, you know, we have forest, we've just we've got a little bit of everything, you know. And we also have a lot of nice people. And I say that because, you know, I've talked about this, I've taken a break from social media because um my algorithm was caught in this such negative vortex. And I really started just not liking humans at all. And I started getting really hateful and judgmental and dark and just negative, and it was oozing out of me to where it was affecting, you know, others, and I don't like that. And I don't, that's not me. I am a I am an accepting person. I I really, really mean this when I say I do not care what someone's political affiliation is, what someone identifies as, what their religion is, what their gender is, or what they identify as. I care if you are an asshole or not. That's what I care about. And I will take the time to listen to a stranger, I will take the time to talk to a stranger, I will take the time to hear someone out. And I was just starting to feel like the world was just evil. And it is, there are a lot of evil people, and there certainly is a lot of chaos right now and a lot of anger and a lot of you know not great things going on. That is for sure. But I have a family and friends, and I have a home, and I have a job that I love, and I have people that are listening to my podcast, and I am healthy and um and my family's healthy, and I just I want to focus on that for a while, you know? And um I gotta work on some stuff with me. I need to drink more water because I did an episode called The Crypt Keeper, and let me tell you, I'll be walking by. This is why I can't have like a mirror in my house, and when I am in the bathroom, I'm just gonna have to like be like, oh god. But um, I walk by, I'll see a reflection of myself, and I'm like, oh no. That can't be me. And that's the thing too, is I think that being angry makes you ugly, you know? Anger is not attractive. Um being negative is not attractive. And I don't want to do that. I don't want to put people off. So I'm gonna not do that. It doesn't mean I'm not gonna talk about politics. It doesn't mean I'm gonna bury my head in the sand and pretend like nothing is going on and that things are hunky-dory. And, you know, again, I will keep myself um, I will keep myself um educated. And right now though, I honestly haven't, oh gosh, I think it's been like a week since I've been on social media, so I genuinely have no idea. I haven't been watching TV or anything, so um I don't really know what's going on, but i i I like that. I know what's going on right now, is then I just watched a hummingbird fly and is currently eating out of a hummingbird feeder. And earlier today there were two hummingbirds flying around. Hey, hey, hey. There were two hummingbirds flying around. And I know that um I had a really lovely talk with a gentleman earlier today, and I know that I went on a walk and I saw a lot of adorable dogs, and people said hi or tipped their hat to me, which I've you know been talking about how I like, and so you know, on social media it paints people to be everybody can't stand each other. We are all against each other, and it pay and there are again, there are certainly a lot of people out there that um are against each other, and there certainly is a lot of evil and a lot of anger and a lot of hateful people right now, that's for sure. And there's a lot of division and um it and it's scary. But I can tell you that when I've been out walking around, I am running into very kind people. And I can tell you that when um no matter where I'm walking around, um I almost always run into at least one person, at least, at least one that says hi and is pleasant and kind. And um I don't know. I just right now I just need to be in that space, you know, again because April is kind of a bummer of a month and I'm already, you know, at some point you can't just be like, oh, this is my you know, 15th year anniversary of my mom's passing. I think it is incredibly important. I'm not saying that I should forget about it. I'm not saying that I shouldn't remember her on the on her birthday or remember her on her passing or anytime in between. Um, anytime I feel like it, you know, I I remember her every day, you know, I remember my dad every day. I remember my dog and and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles and and my family members. But at some point I can't like be bummed out every single day on that day. At some point I have to, you know, like I do a lot of talking to my family members, you know, not just on their birthday or the day they passed, but all the time, whenever I feel like it. Whenever, whenever they're on my mind or whenever I just feel like it, you know, I will um just talk to them. And so I can't just forever be paralyzed by the month of April or any other month that people have passed and stuff, and I don't know. Um that said, I still, you know, remember the days. I just try not to, you know, let it consume me. You know, so I'm like, well, I love birds. And I sat and watched the birds for a while, and it was quite lovely, actually. That's very interesting. There's a robin right now looking for some worms, and I just uh watered the grass, so he's checking out some birds. Oh man, he just picked up a leaf and tossed it aside, like, get the frick out of here. But I don't know, you know? I am focused on the beautiful day. What on earth? Anyway, enough of that. I'm being very boring, but you know, I can say this. I was all excited. I was gonna like take a bath and do the whole thing where I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna like get my feet all pretty, get my hands all pretty, get my nails all pretty, and um, you know, do something with myself and file my nails and all that good stuff. And I'm like, I'm gonna do a face mask, and um, I might even get real wild and crazy and like, you know, paint my nails and uh paint my toes. Although I can't stand painting my nails because I can't hold it, even though, again, I was born a lefty. I was made to use my right hand for so long that now I can't really hold nail polish that well, or the you know, the nail polish holder, the brush with my left hand and paint my right hand. It doesn't work very well. But anyway, I wanted to do all this, but the tub stopper thingy is not working and it's not holding water. So I'm bummed out because um I don't like baths because I think baths and pools are nasty and hot tubs are gross. But I like to, I was watching Cougartown and it cracked me up because I'm kind of like that, but then I also don't want to waste water, so I'm conscientious about not doing this, but it's what I want to do. I want to, in theory, take a bath, soak, get all relaxed, and um, and then take a quick shower to actually clean myself, but that wastes a lot of water, so I don't do that. But anyway, point is I wanted to kind of like be a girl. I was like gonna wash my face and put on a mask and maybe even like pluck my eyebrows. But now the problem is I can't see, I'm blind as a bat, and I wear glasses. Well, you can't wear glasses and pluck your eyebrows. That doesn't really work. So I'm like, well, fuck, what am I supposed to do, man? Have someone else pluck my eyebrows? That's weird. I feel like we're monkeys. I feel like we're like little monkeys. Um, I have to like, and who do you like, who do you ask to pluck your eyebrows? I guess your friends. I guess good friends will pluck each other's eyebrows. I had a friend that cracked me up when we were younger. I don't know, we were probably like 21 to 23-ish. I don't know, somewhere in there. Doesn't matter. Young. Um, I have no breasts. I have like very small, I have a small chest, okay? And um when I was younger, I had a little bit larger of a chest than I do now. Um I after, believe it or not, after I had kids, I lost my boobs. Um I never had a lot of boobs to begin with, but I had a lot more before I had children. Somehow, after I had children, they deflated. I know that people want to hear these things, so I'll move on. But the point is, one of my friends who does have a rack on her, she's got quite large breasts, was showing me all these tricks. And I was like, I already know what to do, man. I've heard all the tricks. She's like, no, no, no, you gotta try this one. And she was showing me this thing where you like take a sock and you like roll up a sock in a certain way and you put it like not even in your bra, but like um, or you put it in your bra, but you like under your boob, you like lift up your boob and put it under there and all these different things. And I'm like, wow, so many different tricks. And you know, of course, there's also just getting a good supportive bra and stuff. But here's my point to all of that. I'm sure you guys are like, yeah, we don't need to hear about your bra. It's funny to me that girls with each other, like while we were doing this, I was full on having her, like, I was lifting up my boob and she was like sticking the sock under there. And we were like, and girls just don't think anything of this. This is just what we do. Like, I don't know. And like it's it's pretty common to hear of a girl that's at least kissed another girl. Um, and it just cracks me up because I'm always like, Men, I feel like we they don't do, I mean, not that they pamper anyways, but it's like, what do men do that we don't know about with each other that would seem, you know, funny if we knew? Like they certainly aren't going to, again, they don't really, they're not gonna brush each other's hair, because really what are you gonna do with a man's hair? You're not really gonna put on makeup. So there's not a whole lot men could do with each other, I guess. They could help each other with a tie or something, but you know, they're not gonna help each other with a jock strap, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. They're not gonna be like, here you go, dude. Here, let me try to get your balls right in there. Let me just get your cup, get everything all nice and situated for you. No, because number one, they don't need help. If you're asking for help with your cup, I feel like there's something else going on, and maybe you need to address that, you know. But um, you know, I don't know. But maybe men do this. I don't know. I this just went through my mind. I know that's a weird thing. People are like, how on God's green earth did we start talking about cups and boobs? I don't know. Because these are the things that crossed through my mind, all right? In any given moment, I could go from talking about square dancing to um a jock strap, you know? So, oh, actually, though, for real, speaking of square dancing, honestly, I was watching that show that was only on, I think, for like two seasons, and it's the one where Dak Shepard and uh Lake uh Lake something, and they go to Nebraska, they're from New York, and they get a got bless this, bless this mess something. Anyway, anyway, it was hilarious because um on the show they were talking about um square dancing, and um, and I was like, you know, people give square dancing, like people make fun of square dancing, but I grew up when I was a kid, I don't care what people think of this, it was fun. I grew up square dancing with the actual hoop skirt and everything, and I thought it was so effing fun, and I loved wearing those square dancing skirts. I thought they were fantastic. I was like 10 years old, and I thought it was the best thing in the whole world. I also used to bowl when I was like the same age group from like eight to like 12. I was a bowler and a square dancer, and I had the best time. And so I don't think people and then when I was in high school, being in the band, um, being in band and being in choir and being um in like plays and stuff, being in drama was considered popular. Like we didn't have anything that was considered popular or not popular. Like if you were in sports and you were a jock, awesome. If you were in band, cool. In fact, a lot of people were um, you know, they would they would be in a sport and be in drama. They'd be, you know, my particular class had the highest GPA that went through the high school until my oldest son's um class went through. And we started like different clubs and, you know, very like active people. And we had jocks and we had um cowboys and we had surfers and we had stoners, and everybody was popular. It kind of went by, again, if you were a dick or not, really. Um, it kind of just went by if you were an asshole, you know. I don't know. So I love that like I love the people that just embrace who they are and they don't give a crap. And even in high school, even in middle school where it is hard because people will bully you. You know, again, I didn't really go to a high school that a lot of that happened, and maybe people are like, oh, maybe you just didn't see it. I'm not saying it didn't happen at all, especially in middle school. In middle school, it did. I was bullied a couple of times, but I am very much the person that's like, bring it. You're not gonna, you know, you may bull me today, but you're not bowling me tomorrow, because no, I ain't the one. But um, I feel like I don't know, I was pretty fortunate in our school, you know. Again, we had kids we didn't like and we had kids that didn't get along, but there was some a period of time where people would go out back and there was like a smoking area, because this is back in the days where there weren't vape pins, number one, and people would, you know, you could still smoke inside your house and you could still smoke in restaurants. I think you could even still smoke in planes for yeah, I remember when you could still smoke in planes, which kills me. That's so insane to me. That is just seems so dangerous on a thousand levels. But people would fight, and then especially guys, they would fight and then like help each other up and then brush each other off and be well, not brush each other off, but brush off and be like, all right, are we done, man? And then girls wouldn't, though. Girls would go batshit crazy, but it was weird because um that didn't happen often. But I also didn't go to a huge school, I went to a pretty small school, so you know, maybe it's that. Um, I did go to a gigantic um middle school at first before I moved, and maybe there's bullying going on, but I'm the kind of person that um I believe the way to handle a bully is first talk to them, be like, hey, you know, I'm not gonna do this. Let's just, you know, there's nothing to fight about. If you don't like me, we can talk about it, or we can just, you know, not like each other and go our separate ways. And I'll try to talk it out and I'll try to work it out first. You know, it's always good to talk first. But then I feel like after you do that, um, after you try talking and you try if you're in school telling an adult, you know, after you do that, sorry, but I 100% say you deal with a bully by um the same way they deal with you. You be like, listen, I'm gonna punch you if you continue. I'm gonna knock you out. I've tried talking, I've tried telling an adult, I've tried handling it civilly, but um now I'm just gonna punch you. So I highly suggest you be quiet and you give them a warning, and then you, if they continue, then you knock their fucking asses out. That's how you handle a bully. And that's what Trump's doing with Iran, if you ask me. He's like, you know how you handle a bully? We've tried talking, we've tried a lot of things, we've tried being civil, and um, now we're not gonna talk anymore. We're gonna do just enough to hurt you, enough to go, okay, so are you done now? Are you ready to listen? Because we've got more. We're yeah, we haven't even started. We have not even started. And Biden never did that, unfortunately, and neither did Obama, you know. Biden just caved, just caved and said, okay, okay, how do you handle a bully? You fund them, you bow to them, you act like weak sauce, you cower. And that's not gonna work. And that is what Europe did. Europe is like, all right, all right, all right, we'll give you our lunch money, we'll give you our lunch money, just don't hurt us, just open up, you know, open up the Strait of Hormouth again. And I get it, but you this wouldn't have happened, and you wouldn't have to pay an obscene amount of money if you joined forces with America and you knocked that fucking bully on his ass. Because the bully has already been warned and warned and warned and warned. And now they're like, clearly, you are all talk. You're all talk and no action. And so now this bully has gotten too big for its britches, and it's now making other people cower, and they're like, boo! And now Europe is like, ah, and they're running with their tail between their legs, and that's chicken shit move, Europe. Man, what the hell? I'm getting a lot of listeners from Germany and France, and I am totally, like I said, this is not against the people, it is against our gov against the government. And I've said before, I don't think Trump's perfect. I don't think America's perfect. I don't think humans are perfect. So I just think that was a chicken shit move. And I think that if we would have joined forces, if we were allies, you take out a bully by being like, no, we're not going anywhere. We're staying here. So if you want to bring it, then fucking okay. Then let's do this. But I'm warning you right now, we've tried talking, you know, last chance, dude. And then if that bully is like, no, well then first you do what Trump did, and you're like, all right, I'm there you go. I've taken out like your regime, most of it. Obviously, there's still some left. So now what are you gonna do, Punk? Now what? Because that's with us barely trying. So now imagine if we're actually trying. Do you want that? And Trump is not just gonna talk. So I feel like that's just how you handle things in life, you know? And that's how people with like these adrenaline things are just like, I'm not gonna talk about it, I'm just gonna do it. They're like, bonza, and they just jump off that cliff, man. Those people that do those bass jumps and stuff, and those like looks like flying squirrels. That's some crazy shit. Man. And then they're like, at least I die doing what I love. And I'm like, I mean, I guess that's true. True. I'm not holding back anybody doing the things they want to do. I mean, unless again, it's illegal, you know, harms others, but otherwise, hey, you do you. You know what's really cool? That more and more people are listening to my podcast. I woke up and I have something like it was like a hundred people, which people are like a hundred people in a day. I get a hundred people in like an hour listening to my podcast. And that's awesome. And that is awesome for you. And I hope you continue on with being super successful. For me, I am um getting the most listeners I have ever had. And I so honestly, genuinely, it really, really means the world to me. It really does. I know that, again, I say this all the time, but I feel like it needs to be said that I'm aware that I talk into my cell phone. I'm doing a podcast talking into my cell phone, and you can't see my face, and you can hear the dogs bark and people with a weed eater and the um cars driving by. But you know, you can also hear birds and crickets and frogs, and you can hear some lovely things too, which is pretty soothing, right? And I know I get unhinged and I cry and I scream and I, you know, get a little um politically incorrect. But, you know, that's just again, these are things that keep me up, and I'm just being me, and I'm not gonna be everybody's cup of tea, and I'm definitely not gonna be um something, a podcast that not everyone likes, of course. And there are a lot of other podcasts out there that I'm sure are much better than mine. And so to everybody out there that listens, um, whether it's one time or five times or 40 times, or I've been here since the beginning, it really means the world to me. I hope you know that. And I was um I was trying to get on YouTube and TikTok and X and Facebook and all of that, but I'm really not getting, I think I'm being shadow banned big time. Um, but I still post things on X periodically, and my podcasts do go out on YouTube. Um, but I kind of gave up on TikTok. Um there's just it's ridiculous for censorship, and same with Facebook. Um, YouTube actually is censors big time, so I just put my podcasts out there on there. Um, but thank you, honestly. It's it's truly awesome that so many people have been finding me and feel like I'm worth listening to because again, I know that this isn't quality, you know. I realize that. So so thank you. Um currently I'm sitting here doing this with a tooth that's hurting so bad. I want to, it's going into my nerves. It's my nerves, and it's radiating down into my jaw and then also up along my jawbone into my eye, and it's all swollen, and that's fun because I don't have insurance right now. So yay! That is going to be that's going to be another thing. I can't talk. That is going to be another thing keeping me up. Tooth pain, which is not cool, man. Not cool. Um, what else? Basically, I just wanted to say, look, to all those out there that are doing you, whether you is, you know, someone that reads a lot, someone that's an adrenaline junkie, someone that plays by the rules, someone that's a farmer, someone that's city folk, um, you know, a Republican, a liberal, a Democrat, a um Catholic, uh Jehovah Witness, an atheist, whether you're short, tall, skinny, chunky, whatever. I'm glad that there are people out there that have different opinions and that look different because obviously how boring is it if we're all trying to do the same thing, you know? That's a pretty dang boring life, right? And shout out to people out there that don't care what other people think about them. Again, I mean that as in like, don't be a dick. Like don't hurt others. Don't go out of your way to harm people or, you know, project your insecurities onto others and like be a bully. But if you're out there and you're just like I'm gonna do me and I'm gonna try to live this life even if it's doing things that might scare me, even if it's conquering a fear, like that's fucking awesome because I don't have that and I love that. I mean I've conquered fears. I'll do that but I'm not gonna go bungee jumping anytime soon.

unknown 44:58

No.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

It's a whole trust thing, you know, but I love that people have that. There's other things I'll try but that ain't one of them. I don't know. Every time I get on and do this podcast it's me putting myself out there because you know I've had this podcast for a long time and I know I say a lot of things but it's a big deal for me to to get on here and talk about stuff. And you know again that's why I do it on my cell phone because I pace and I walk and I walk around and I have to be like I can't just be sitting here alone with my thoughts and like talking on a laptop because that makes me crazy. My mind is just always going and I want something to calm me down. You know if I'm riding a horse or taking pictures or around animals I seem to be calmer because of course you have to be around animals. You can't be projecting that anxiety onto them. That's not fair. And if I'm taking pictures I can focus but I like walking around when I'm doing my podcast because I've got all that nervous energy and people think that I'm not shy because I'll talk a lot but more often than not I talk a lot and I talk fast because I'm nervous or because I just want I feel like I have to keep talking because I don't want it to be awkward, you know? I don't know. Even though I want nothing more than to just go but again if someone comes up to me and they're a stranger and they want to talk I want them to be able to talk to me. I want them to be able to you know again I always look at it like what if they have no one to talk to what if today they just needed somebody I want them to have somebody what if I'm that somebody I don't want to walk away from them you know so I listen but I'm actually shy in a lot of ways and me doing this podcast is a big deal put it that way but I I know eventually I need to step it up and not be doing this into my cell phone nor do I need to and well and I should I shouldn't be doing it into my cell phone and what I should be doing is having it in a video like everybody else and a laptop and putting it up on YouTube where people can see my face. But like I said I look like the crip caper in ill I do do social media videos so people are probably like well you do social media posts and that's true but that's because I need people to know my podcast and I need people to hear about my podcast and I need to gain trap gain traction so people will hear about my podcast. Otherwise I wouldn't even do those videos on social media at all. But I have to so that people can hear about my podcast. Unless you guys go out and tell everybody which would be super awesome I would love that not telling you what to do and not trying to make you you know do things you don't want to do no force no pressure but if you feel like telling someone about the ramblings of an insomniac I would love that. I would appreciate it. I'd high five yeah if I could thank you thank you thank you thank you so it says it's 72 degrees outside my eyeballs are absolutely starting to fade because I was well I think I slept maybe three hours last night and not in a row my friends not in a row okay that's like half an hour here 20 minutes there kind of thing so I feel like I am drunk off my ass right now and to be clear I have not had a sip I started to say a lick I I have not had a lick of alcohol um I have not even had a sip of alcohol I am just really freaking tired though I could go to bed right now and that's not good because it's early it's a little after six o'clock and I am exhausted right now because I have not been sleeping. Anyway so maybe that is a good a good area to say I gotta go because I feel like this podcast has been dragging on. This is the podcast that never ends and it goes on and on my friend because once you start listening not knowing what it will okay anyway sorry I had to get the singing in there I haven't I feel like I haven't sung on a podcast in a long time so you know oh my god the hummingbirds are so freaking cute god I love watching I still cannot believe that bird that bird that just like chilled out on my hand and like hopped up to it and let me hold it for a very long time and pet it. And like I said it had to like hop up two very deep long spread out steps into a long like entryway before you could get into the door and it was up there. So if it stunned itself where the windows were I feel like it would have fallen under the window. It wouldn't have been able to get over to where the steps are hop up these two large widespread steps and then hopped all the way over to where the front door is but maybe it did. I don't know regardless that was pretty awesome that was pretty awesome I felt like Mother Nature I'm not gonna lie anyway I am just babbling right now because I'm tired and I'm not sure how to end this and I'm realizing that this entire if you can't sleep if you guys can't sleep at night listen to this episode because yawn holy shit this is I just realized I have been like Snoozeville like this is a um this is not a very spicy jalapeno podcast I'm sorry I'm gonna debate if I'm gonna put this out or not but I apologize in advance. I hope you're not listening to this while you're operating heavy equipment don't operate machinery and listen to this particular episode. If you do want to go to sleep or you need to like you know be calm um you could listen to this episode because it might put you it might put you into a coma though. So we don't want that. Anyway hey I appreciate you and I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're doing it's going well. And I hope you have support I hope you have a friend and someone you can talk to if you need it because mental health right now is there's a lot of cuckoo out there in the world a lot of cuckoo and I feel like part of that is people don't have someone to talk to that is why I genuinely don't deny people when they are strangers and they start talking to me and telling me their life story in the grocery store because I'm like you know maybe they really need that. Maybe they were about ready to go shoot up something. I don't know maybe they were going to harm themselves maybe they've been depressed and they just need one person just one person to listen to them. So you know I think it's important that we uh that we help each other out that we build each other up you know um we don't need to tear each other down and women we tend to do that a lot women tend to really tear each other down and we need to be there for each other you know we need to have each other's backs especially because there's a lot of men trying to infiltrate um sports and bathrooms and stuff so women really need to band together now more than ever you know so Wonder Twin Powers activate form of an iceberg okay just kidding anyways Gen Xers will get that everybody else will be like what in the fuck she needs some sleep someone get her some milk so she needs some milk anyway I'm starting to the delusions are setting in so uh yeah I'm getting loopy the fruit loops are kicking in so um my point is I hope you have support and I hope you have someone that can you know be a sounding board for you be a shoulder to cry on and um I hope it's I hope you need a if you need a hug I hope you have someone that will give you a hug. They'll be like fuck yeah bring it in you know anyway thank you so much I'm wishing you the best day afternoon evening whatever the case may be and I really hope you do tell a friend tell a neighbor tell a partner tell a coworker um more and more people have been listening so people I think you're doing it there are clearly someone is getting the word out so whoever it is and whoever or whoever they are I'm sure it's not one person obviously so I appreciate everybody that's been listening and um has told someone else about my podcast and now they're tuning in let's do that let's keep that up man let's keep that up I like it all right thank you so much until next time