Free Will…..

What’s been keeping me up? Disrespectful humans. People that can’t seem to act civilized or like a normal, functioning member of society? Those that cannot seem to coexist? 
I talk about communication. The lack of communication people have. Instead of communicating, I discussing, talking things out, people escalate things. 
We all have choices. Free will. Morals. Standards. Each of us have our ways of dealing with others. It’s fascinating how many people think violence is the answer? 
I also discuss the English language and how terrible I am at it. I was born and raised in America, yet have poor grammar and can’t spell to save my life. I can barely form sentences most days. To anyone that speaks English as a second language, shout out to you! 
I talk the show Dexter. What happens if we take matters in to our own hands? And I discuss our judicial system in the United States. . 

Transcript

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Hello party people and welcome to another episode of the Ramblings of an Insomniac. I am Courtney. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to ya. I hope everybody has been having a great week. It's only Monday for me. Again, I don't always put these episodes out on the days that I record them. I pre-record a lot, the majority of my episodes, not all the time. But thank you, thank you, thank you to every single person that's been tuning into this silly, silly trailer trash of a podcast. God knows the quality is shitty. I got a new phone. Um, so I'm still talking into a phone. I'm not on my laptop yet. Um, nope. So to those asking, Courtney, when are you ever going to have a quality podcast with good sound? And when are you ever gonna get your intro and outro back? And to that I say, uh, I don't know, because you guys, I I need you to understand understand how difficult it is for me to just sit and like talk into my laptop. I pace around when I'm doing my podcast. I'm usually on a walk, and if I'm not on a walk, I'm pacing around my yard or I'm pacing around the house or both. Point is I don't sit still. If I'm on a laptop, if I'm sitting in a chair and I'm doing this like face to face on a video, well, that means I have to sit down and uh sitting still never really been a forte of mine. Sitting still is kind of a yeah. I always think that I want to like, oh, it's my day off. I'm gonna chill out, I'm gonna lay in bed all day. I'm gonna like relax and watch silly videos and um, you know, play games on my phone. And I never do. I do that for like a second, and then I'm like, well, now what? I get antsy and I like to putter. Um, one of my friends used to say that that she putters around the house, and I'm like, me too. I do a lot of puttering. Um, if you don't know what puttering means, it means like walking around, like you'll go into one room and maybe you'll like clean up the bathroom and you'll or you're you'll like spruce up the counter. Then you'll go into the kitchen and you'll like maybe put away a couple of dishes or something and like straighten some towels. And then you'll go into the laundry room and you'll put in a load of laundry and start a load of laundry. And then you'll go and you'll clean the cat box. You see what I mean? Like you'll just go to different rooms doing little things in each room and not necessarily like you'll accomplish a lot, but it's all like throughout the day. You just kind of go from room to room to room, just doing little things and you know, puttering around, you know, not like putt like on a golf course, but the American language, by the way, the English language. I don't know how people that aren't from this country and don't speak our language shout out to people uh where English is their second language. Because as an American who you know speaks English fluently, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm like, I don't always know what certain meanings of people will say a word, and I'm like, come again, what I mean I can figure out from the context what the word means, but I mean I am not gonna lie, I don't have a very large vocabulary, which is embarrassing because my family, my entire family on both sides, on both sides, incredibly intelligent, um, very, very into like they read a lot, like avid, avid, hardcore readers, crossword puzzles, word finds, Sudoku, stuff like that. I also love Suduko and all that. I'm not saying I'm stupid at all. I just don't read a lot, and all of my family members seem to have been amazing. Like English was like their jam. They were great at punctuation and spelling and all of that. And if English is not your first language and you had to learn English, you're fucking awesome. Honest to God, I have such a hard time. Like I've said again in a million episodes, I want to learn Russian. Um, I think that German and and Russian are beautiful. Um, so shout out to any Germans or uh Russians listening. I think that your languages are beautiful. People give me a lot of grief for that. They're like, oh my god, what about French? What about Italian? You know, what about the the Latin languages? And nothing against you guys, nothing against Spanish and Italian and French. I'm not trying to put down your language. I just personally don't find it as easy to pick up, or I don't, I find the accent a lot harder. I find it harder to pick up, and if I'm being really honest, I just don't find any of those languages pretty. I don't find English pretty, okay? I don't even find my own language pretty. So I'm saying this about myself. I find Russian and German fucking awesome. So, but my problem is I cannot retain information for shit. It's a problem. Um, I retain really dumb stuff. It's like that episode of Married with Children with um with uh Kelly Bundy. Um, or maybe it was on family ties with Mallory. It might have been with both of them, but um, where they can only learn so much, and then every time they learn one thing, then something else goes out of their brain. So for every one thing they learn, like they lose something else. I swear to God, that's what I feel like. I mean, I'm not saying I'm a dumb shit, but I like I can understand concepts when people are talking to me. I pick up on stuff. It's just memory. Like I can remember landmarks, I can remember faces, I can remember birthdays and faces, I can remember, you know, where people put things and like peop dogs' names and animal names. I have like I can remember stuff, but for some reason languages are hard for me to pick up. Yet I feel I have a decent, maybe Russians would disagree, maybe Germans would disagree, but I feel like I have a decent German or Russian accent. Um, you know, like uh Ichlibedi or Ya Tibla Le Blue. I don't know if that's good. Ya tibla le blue and Ichlibe di or Ich Libedi. I don't know how, but anyway, maybe it's terrible. But point is anybody that has had to learn English, um, I don't know how you do it because we have a lot of words that make no sense. You know that I before e thing except I before e except after way is in neighbor, but that's not even true. It's I before e sometimes and sometimes not. That's what they should say. The saying should be sometimes it's i before e, sometimes it's e before i and we have zero logic whatsoever into when we do that. Because it's not always when sounds like way and neighbor. It's just apparently whenever the hell we want, we just like to make words complicated. We like to have many meanings for one word. I forgot what that's called because I'm a dumb shit. But when like the word sale, like you can have the sale of a ship, you know, or you can have something being on sale, like at a discount, you know. And we have a lot of spellings for different words, like their, like they are, or their like a possession, t-h e i r, like their home, their car, or their as in they are, or there as in like over there, t-h e r e. You know, and they are t-h e-y apostrophe r-e. All the same word. Um, so it's hard. I think that our language is difficult. Apparently, Biden and Kamala Harris also find it difficult because they can never seem to uh form sentences, although Biden, it's not his fault, he has dementia. So, although even before that, he seemed to have difficulties and struggle with English. But I mean, like I said, people who live in America and English is their first language. Struggle, spelling is not my forte. Um, apparently forming sentences, not always my forte. Um, but people, I wanted noted that I stuck up for Biden as much as I can't stand him toward the end because he truly did have dementia, and you shouldn't make fun of people with dementia, that's pretty shitty. Um, that's why I started this podcast, is because my mom had um dementia and she was in memory care and it was during COVID. And um, I started this podcast um because I wanted to talk about how the elderly were treated during that time and how the um state of Oregon had the governor at that time, Kate Brown, handled COVID, and um that I very much disagreed. So, for those of you who have not listened to my podcast, can't stand Kate Brown, Kate Brown, and do not like at all how Oregon or the Democrats handled COVID. Um, and if that offends you, um, well, you haven't been listening to my podcast at all because I say far worse than that, let me tell you. I say a lot worse. Um, and that's just my opinion. Um, I'm not saying that liberals or democrats are pieces of crap um or that Republicans are perfect, um, because again, every single human is imperfect. There's not a single perfect perp person on this planet. I have been trying to say that in as many episodes as I can. I have been trying to make it my mission to mention in every single episode just how imperfect humans are, to remind people that they aren't special. I'm going against what your mom and grandma and teachers or whoever tell you, oh, you're so special, Timmy. Oh, Sally, you're so special. No, you aren't. You're not special, Sally. You aren't special, Timmy, because there are billions of us. And billions of people are not special. You may be a good person. You may be an intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, hardworking person. And um, but that doesn't make you special because there are many, many people that are beautiful, hardworking, intelligent people out there. And if you're an asshole, if you're a douche, if you're lazy, if you're stupid, well, there are a lot of those out there as well. And all colors and shapes and sizes. And being gay and being transgender, um, not special. To me, special is rare, uncommon. Even being transgender now seems to be very common. People seem to really identify with being transgender now, and so it really goes against when they're like, wow, only one percent, only one percent is transgender. Well, then why does Megan Fox have three out of her four kids or five kids that are transgender? Why do so many celebrities have more than one child that are transgender? Why do so many people claim to be transgender if it's one percent? You know, I someone's lying. Either the statistics are lying or they're lying. I mean, right? I'm I'm not saying that there's a lot of people that are transgender. I'm not trying to say that. I'm just saying also being gay is not special. There are so many gay people. I'm not saying that means that you are a bad person. I'm not saying that makes you anything. I'm just saying that just like being blonde, I have blonde hair and blue eyes, I have fair skin, so do a lot of people on this planet. Many, many, many people. I'm a natural blonde. That's a little more uncommon. But there are many, many, many natural blonde hair, blue-eyed, fair-skinned women. I'm not special. I was born a lefty, that makes me kind of cool. My sons have green eyes, that makes them kind of cool. It's pretty rare. Green-eyed people of something like 2% and lefties, or I don't know the statistics to be honest. I don't know if it's like 20% or some shit like that, but but that still doesn't make me special, you know. Um, that's just my opinion, you know. Just like the word deserving is an opinion who I feel deserves something or doesn't deserve something, like I talked about in other episodes. That's an opinion. So just because I don't think you're special, I'm not gonna tell my grandkids that they're special, and I didn't tell my sons that they're special. And people might be like, oh, oh my stars, oh my gosh, what a horrible mom. I mean, we don't think Lindsay Clancy's a horrible mom for murdering three of her children, but I'm sure people will be like, oh my god, you didn't tell your children that they're special. No, because they're not. I told them I loved them, I encouraged them, I supported them, I told them many things, like I think that they're intelligent. But I'm not gonna tell them they're special. I'm sorry, that's just me. If you want to tell your child or your spouse or whomever, whoever you feel is special, you tell them. Shout it from the rooftops, sing a song about it, um, skip down the road saying, You're special, you're special. Just pass out specialty like your Oprah. Do it. That's cool. I have no problem with that. And people shouldn't have a problem with my kids. Know I love them. Just because I don't tell them they're special doesn't mean that um I go around abusing them and telling them they're shitty. I don't go around going, you're a piece of shit, you're not fucking special, you're a piece of shit. I mean, I don't do that. I don't go around saying you're not special, you're not special. I don't tell them they're not special. I just also don't tell them they are. You know what I mean? I don't tell them they're not special, but I also don't tell them they are special because again, like each snowflake is different, each fingerprint is different, but there are, you know, again, they have a rare eye color. I have a fairly, it's not a rare blood type, but it's a kind of uncommon blood type. But I don't think I'm special. You know? Uh-oh. I'm trying to charge my phone. Oh, there we go. Um, but I don't think I'm special. They have an uncommon eye color, but I don't think they're special. So I feel like we pass out that word like Oprah does with the cars and stuff, and I think we just need to move away from that, you know. I feel like we need to do more encouraging of good parents, good moms and dads, of hard workers, you know, people that work really hard for their bosses or hard for their own companies. I think we need to start supporting people and encouraging people and being positive to people that are, you know, not murdering one another because they're ticked off or depressed, not um making excuses as to why they can't show up for work and then when they're at work, they just bitch and complain the whole time instead of working or being grateful or doing something about it, you know. It takes, you know, no work really at all to complain about things. That's easy. That's super easy. Fixing the problem requires work, and so not a lot of people want to do it. I mean, trust me, I've been there. There have been a lot of times where I've bitched and moaned about something, but did I get off my ass to fix the problem or try to find a solution? Nope. Nope, I did not. I just sat there and bitched and complained, and that's not, you know, either work at your job and shut your face about it, or work at your job and have a respectful, mature conversation with your boss, because, you know, maybe your boss is unaware, and maybe maybe you don't understand where your boss is coming from, and maybe your boss has very, very good reason for why they do or say or whatever, have the things they have the way that they do. Sometimes people have really, really good explanations as to why they do or say the things they do, and we need to maybe have a good conversation. And just like sometimes we have a really good reason why we say and do the things we do, and I appreciate it when people come to me and talk to me. Even if it's because they think I'm a bitch. I've shared the story before, but shout out to Brandy if you're out there. What up, Woody? Um uh we met because she flat out told me basically that well, I told her, I told her that I basically thought she was a bitch. And she laughed and thought it was hilarious, and we talked about it, and it was a stupid misunderstanding, and we ended up becoming friends. I don't cry and need a safe room and you know, curl up in a ball and go want to assassinate people or punch people or stab people or scream at people because they don't like me or because they don't agree with me on things. Again, more often than not, if you set somebody aside and just say, Hey, uh, this is my problem with you, or here's here's why I disagree with you, or here are my thoughts, or whatever. Or if you pull a boss aside and be like, hey, these are some things that are concerning me, or some things I have an issue with. A lot of people, when you treat them with respect and you are an adult and you actually communicate and use your words, that sounded condescending as hell, but when you use your words and you communicate respectfully like an adult with others, I would say seven times out of ten, it goes well. Obviously, I'm pulling those numbers out my ass, but I feel like if two people, you know, I think if you if you you can get more flies with honey. Right? Sure, there are times when you need to be assertive. There are times when you need to put your foot down, not move, and you maybe need to raise your voice. There are times when maybe you need to take action and go above your boss's head or something if if they have someone over their head. Well, everybody has someone. Just because you own your own business doesn't mean there's not somebody above you, you know. And so sometimes, yeah, we need to take it to that level. But I feel like people start escal at an escalated level. They start already like going 10 steps ahead instead of just being like, wait, wait, wait. Why didn't you come talk to me? A lot of times I don't like my friend. I did not know, you know, that she felt the way she did. I didn't know she felt, she didn't know I felt the way I did, and vice versa, because we didn't communicate that. And it was basically a misunderstanding. Oh my god, I'm trying to be outside, and there's this crows, and then there's a whole boatload of cars. But when I go inside, it echoes like a motherfucker, and then the quality sounds even worse. But there are crows just going ballistic. Get out of here! I'm trying to do a podcast over here, guys. Holy hell, I always wonder what they're saying. Damn. Anyway, they're like, get a lot of this chick trying to do this podcast. Okay, damn, Gina. Anyway, I feel like we just skip the whole communication part, and we immediately jump into screaming and yelling or tattling, which is what I look at it like, or not tattling, I suppose that's a you know, we just jump to supervisors and stuff, and it's like, wait, wait, wait. Sometimes the person doesn't even know that you were mad or that you had an issue, and if you just would have talked to them, they would have been like, oh, and then you guys could explain where you were coming from. And usually it's a misunderstanding. And if it's not a misunderstanding, um, usually once the other person has heard where you're coming from, they're like, Okay, that tracks. I get it. God, there's a lot of noise. And now I'm inside, and it's all echoey, and the quality sounds even more shitty, more shittier, shittier, sounds shittier. Let's just take out the word more. See, this is what I'm saying. English is hard, right? Um, I graduated from an Oregon high school. That's why I'm a dumb shit, people. But why don't we just communicate in the first place? Why do we need to complicate things? Why do we have to immediately get on the defense or or the offense? Why can't we just be Switzerland and just fucking be neutral for a second? And it's because we're humans and we are flawed as hell, and we have tempers and we have hormones, and of course we're gonna have moments where we do not handle things well. We're gonna have moments that we fuck up, we say the wrong thing, we do the wrong thing, and we don't handle things like an adult. We're not respectable. We've all had those moments, some of us more than others, you know. Even Mother Teresa is flawed. You know? I just feel like we don't give enough grace and then sometimes I feel like we give way too much, like the Lindsay Clancy, you know? Like Carmelo Anthony. Sometimes it's like, Really, you're gonna give grace to that person, but God forbid I wear a shirt that says freedom on it. God forbid I wear something that has the American flag on it. You're not gonna give grace to me. Like I'm not even saying anything. And that's gonna set you off. Really? That tells me you don't have a life. Because let me tell you, there are t-shirts that piss me off. There are bumper stickers that piss me off. There are so many things that people do that annoy the shit out of me from all backgrounds. I don't care what color, what race, what gender, what political orientation you are, or no political um affiliation you are and sexual orientation. I don't care. People from all walks of life. Again, I am an equal opportunity person when it comes to even being pissed off. Okay. So it's frustrating because a lot of people just wander around aimlessly thinking that, you know, everybody else just knows what they're thinking and should know. And I see shirts and stuff, and I can be thinking in my head, oh god, that shirt annoys me. Oh, I disagree with that shirt. But I I'm not gonna tell the person because I have the choice to just keep walking and look away. And that way it can only annoy me for just that moment. And then I can let it go. Let it go, let it go. Anyway, you can let it go. Because it doesn't need to consume us. What should be consuming us, in my opinion, is how to be a better us, how to deal with like why did that thing piss me off so bad that I felt the need to punch that person. That's something wrong with me. If I can't handle what uh what shirt someone is wearing, what hat someone has on, and I feel the need to push them or kick them or punch them or be violent in some way, that is a me issue, and I need to spend a lot more time reflecting on me and figuring out why I can't be an adult and why I can't coexist. Like what is going wrong with my life? What is going so horribly wrong in my life that I can't cope with or handle someone else wearing a different shirt, wearing a shirt I may disagree with? There are people that wear shirts that have bands on them that I don't like, and I can handle that. But when it comes to politics, you know, people get real fired up. But that's a choice, you know. We have free will, and there are many, many people wandering around this earth that disagree with stuff and we don't punch others. There are many mothers out there that have postpartum depression or had postpartum depression and don't strangle their children. There are fathers out there that have had to deal with a lot of really horrible things and they don't unalive their family members. There are many, many humans out there who have felt like on any given occasion harming somebody. I have had people standing in front of me that I'm like, move out of the way when I'm in a bad mood, and I'm like, oh. And briefly, I'm like, man, I just want to run you over. Why? I'm not a bad person, I'm not an evil person. That person's doing nothing. I'm having a bad day. I'm being impatient. And for some reason, I'm deciding to allow this person to consume me for that moment, and which is ridiculous. Because honestly, you know, that person's gonna slow me down for not even one entire second. So, what I'm gonna get somewhere one second faster, and that's gonna change my life in some way. I try really hard to think about that now when I'm in traffic, because unfortunately, because I'm imperfect, because I'm such an imperfect person, I used to get road rage real bad. I mean, not real bad, like I wouldn't get out of a car or anything, but in my head I'd be like, oh, fucker, move, motherfucker. And I'd never honk my horn or anything, but I would pretend honk or I'd be like, ugh, and cussing people out, especially I'm telling you, I've done a lot of pod a lot of episodes about this, but um, Californians, if you have a California license plate in the state of Oregon, I want you to know that everybody behind you is flipping you off and cursing your name and saying bad things about you. I'm I'm telling you that's a thing, it's not just a me thing, it's seriously it's an Oregon thing. And maybe in California they do that to Oregon plates. Maybe when you're in California, they see Oregon plates and they're cursing at us, or maybe in Washington they see Oregon plates and they're cursing at us. But I'm here to tell you if you are in the state of Oregon and you have California plates, so much so that there was a person that had a rental car that lived in Oregon, they had a rental car, and um the rental car had California plates. They made a sign, they handmade a sign, put it in the back window that said, This is a rental car. I am not from California. Seriously, this is a rental car, I'm not from California. That is what it said. They actually made a sign, put that in the back of their car window because they know how much Oregonians get pissed off when they see California plates. So, point being, see, I tend to ramble on and I digress, but I come back around, you guys. Hang in there with me. I come back around. Um, I don't, though, get out of my car and punch people. I don't get out of my car and I don't that's so loud, sorry. I don't get out of my car as road ragey as I get sometimes. I used to, I don't do it anymore. I never wanted to, I didn't hurt anybody. And it's self-control. And it's morals and it's many things. God, crows, really? I'm trying here. Oh man, they're circling around me like I'm dying. That's kind of creepy. I love crows. I don't find crows creepy, I find them fascinating and intelligent and magical and awesome. I have one tattooed on me, not just a crow, it's in other stuff. But anyway, point being, again, I digress if I'm come back around. Um self-control, right? And free will, all of those things. Um, and people are gonna go, well, Courtney, some everybody's different, and we are. That's why we're not special. Again, that's why I go back to nobody's special because everybody is different. And what one person's postpartum depression is, another woman may have postpartum depression and three kids and handle it totally differently. Someone with an identical situation may handle it completely different than Schminzy Schmancy. I don't want to say her name again. I've already said it too many times, and I feel like Beetlejuice. So you know who I'm talking about. And there are a lot of people out there who have had urges, who have had thoughts, who have had horrible lives, who have been depressed, who have had postpartum depression. There are many men out there who have had whatever the equivalent of depression, you know, postpartum, meaning you know they didn't have a baby, no, they don't have the same hormones as women, which by the way, if you're a liberal that has stood by saying that men can be pregnant, men can be pregnant. If they identify as being a woman, that woman can be pregnant, she can menstruate, she is a woman, she is a woman. Now, if you're all of a sudden claiming that men, you know, uh cannot experience postpartum depression and don't know what postpartum depression are, and don't know what it's like to have a baby, you need to pick a side and you need to stay with one because you're having double standards. So men can get depressed and men can have a lot of testosterone, and they can choose not to be rageful, and they can choose not to unalive their wives or children. So it's all about free will, it's all about their morals and beliefs and self-control, it's about a lot of things, and people can be like, oh, it's complicated. It is complicated, and she clearly was psychotic, but that's not an excuse, is it? I talk a lot on my episodes about excuses and reasons, and being psychotic didn't give Ted Bundy or any other serial killer or any other cheating, you know, a husband that caught their wives cheating, or or vice versa. That doesn't give you a reason. Why are we giving reasons to this? Why are we making excuses? There are certainly excuses, I think, for someone unaliving another person, like in self-defense. And there are certainly times when I understand that if you've been through massive abuse from your spouse or your parent or whatever, and that person has physically and mentally and sexually or whatever harmed you, oh my gosh, I understand a hundred percent why you would want to unalive that person if you feared for your life every day, and you were a spouse of this person or a child of this person or a sibling or whatever, and you had to live with someone that you genuinely, genuinely feared for your life because they have harmed you physically and or mentally, I get it. But it doesn't necessarily make it okay. It makes me have massive, massive empathy. But you know, there's a reason why Dexter is such a good show because it's so morally conflicting. It's like, yes, you know, you want to root for him, and you do, and most people, not everybody, but most people root for Dexter because they're like, yeah, he's getting all those bad guys that, you know, slip through the cracks. Yay! But who is Dexter to decide who's good and bad? And he ends up going astray and kind of not following his code. And if you watch like the spin-offs of Dexter, can't remember what the names of them are now, but they're spin-offs of Dexter, and they kind of delve into that why you can't necessarily root for a serial killer, because you know, you're you're now kind of letting someone basically be God, letting someone choose what their version of a bad person is. And that can be a real gray area because what your version of a bad person is may not be mine. Now, granted, these people that he picks usually are actual bad people because they have killed others, and he proves that, and that's part of his code. His code is to have, you know, actual proof, for real proof, 100% proof that these people are bad people who have unalived others and have slipped through the cracks. Man, I think that's awesome. But technically, we don't have the right to just go around unaliving people we feel are bad. Because if we do that, then my version of what someone's bad is and your version of what someone's bad is maybe entirely different things. What a Muslim's version of bad is, an extreme Muslim version of bad is, or a Christian or an atheist, or a Catholic's version of bad is, or what Sally across the street, or Timmy in, you know, Switzerland's version of bad is, may all be different. And we can all go, well, we all agree that if we have hardcore evidence that someone has killed someone else, then they're a bad guy. But still, why this is why though we have a justice system in place, so that we can go, okay, well, then maybe they deserve the death penalty, but why do we as citizen get to just go around on the living people? There's a system in place. Now, granted, that system is crazy flawed. The judicial system, that word is so hard for me to say, judicial system is crazy flawed in America, anyway. I'm gonna speak for America. And the re-offense rate is incredibly high. That's why we know it's really flawed. And there are people like Todd Chrisly and um Julie Christly and Savannah and Chase and all of them who have, you know, been diligent and other people, other people out there who have been very diligent about bringing um, you know, what happens in our prison system and how flawed our judicial system is. They've been bringing that to light. And I appreciate that because I'm a big advocate for for that, for people being educated as to, you know, how our prison system worked and how deeply flawed it is, but still, if we think it's flawed and we think that people are slipping through the cracks, if we feel that people aren't getting the proper punishment, well, we need to get involved. We can't just talk about it. We have to get involved. We have to then start going, all right, how do we change that? Who do we need to vote for? Who are the candidates that are going to be running for mayor, for governor, for whatever people representing us? Who should we vote for that can that is passionate about the judicial system and prison reform? And what are their solutions? We need to vote for those people. And then, you know, we need to get involved ourselves, passing bills, you know. So I don't know. We can't just take matters into our own hands because we don't like someone's hat or t-shirt. We need to have self-control. And I don't think, you know, sometimes I think we deserve a pat on the back when we're like, oh, I didn't kill anyone today. Woo, go me. But I mean, what low standards is that? Now we have such low standards that we're patting each other on the back for not killing someone because we got annoyed. Because we were annoyed for a moment. It's our fault if we allow things to anger us. There are things to be angry about, you know, our spouse cheating, our spouse lying, you know, um someone dying, we can be angry and sad, you know. I mean, again, this is my opinion. I don't get to say how other people feel, but in my opinion, there are other things to be angry about than what someone's hat says, what someone's shirt says, you know. And if someone posts a video you don't like, well, scroll past it. Move on, you know? Take the high road or do something about it. Get involved. Get involved. That doesn't happen very often. I don't get involved. I'm not gonna lie. I bitch about a lot, and then I don't get involved. That's on me. I say I'm gonna get involved, and I do to an extent, and then I stop, and then I bitch, and then I'm like, ha, hypocrite. So I've joined the hypocrite club, and I don't want to be in that club. I do not want to be in that club at all. So I need to do something about it or shut my face, right? So I've been not complaining about things that I'm not fixing. The things I've been talking about, I've been fixing, I've been working on, I've been finding solutions for. But I have learned to stop bitching about things that I'm not gonna fix. Or, you know, it's okay to vent, of course. Like just because you vent about something doesn't mean you have to go do something about it. Sometimes we just need to vent. Sometimes we just need to get it off our chest. Sometimes we need to scream into a pillow, sometimes we need to take a long walk, a cold shower, sometimes we need to punch a punching bag. But we don't need to punch each other. That's not how we solve things, that's just how an immature, jealous person that has no coping skills handles things. You know? That's not cool. And I feel sad that we that a lot of people tend to be um using violence to somehow get their point across. But what point are you getting across when you punch somebody? Do you think that they got up and they're like, oh, I'm on your side now? Because you punched me, because you kicked me, because you shoved me, I'm now on your side, and I agree with you. All it took was you punching and kicking me and being violent toward me to make me see the light. Oh the heavens have parted, and now I see the light, and the light is you. No, people don't do that. People just get more angry, and now you've proven to them why they don't agree with you. Now you've just really made it where they're like, oh, now I really am not gonna listen to you, and now I think even less of you. And again, people that feel they need to use force and intimidation to gain respect, you're not gaining respect at all. You are making people have a choice. They're like, oh man, like if they live in a dictatorship, if they live where someone is a dictator, if they live in a communist country, they don't have a choice. They have to do things. I mean, they have a choice, they do. They have to choose between life or death. Deaf, deaf, wow. Again, English is must be my second language because clearly I can't even speak English. So shout out again to those that speak my language better than me. Um, but you know, if you're in certain countries, you don't have freedom of speech and stuff, and you're not allowed to just say whatever you want to say. And if you do, your choice is you're literally choosing between your life or death. Or maybe you're choosing between having shelter, having food, having a job, or speaking out. And so when people seem to think that they're gaining respect and power by forcing others to do something, you're not gaining power at all. In my eyes, you've lost all the power because if you feel the need to force someone to do something, then clearly you don't have their respect. They don't like you, they don't believe in you, they don't trust you, which means you really have no power. You're just giving them too hard, they're stuck between a rock and a hard spot. And I think if you have to intimidate someone, if you have to, well, not necessarily intimidate, but if you have to force someone, that's not necessarily power. Now, maybe, maybe you're standing up for yourself and it's self-defense and you're forcing somebody down to the ground because you're protecting yourself. Okay, that is power. You know, that's amazing. You're like, ah, down to the ground. Okay, that's power. But I'm saying when you're running a country or whatever, you're running a company, or you're running a household, you're running a relationship, and you know, or you're a parent and you think that using force and screaming and dictating or acting like a communist is somehow gonna make that person make you, you know, in their eyes powerful, or that they respect you. They don't respect you. They're scared of you, they're fearful of you, or they're doing it because they're like, oh my gosh, if I don't, then I either lose a job or I die or I get hurt in some way. But it's not because they respect you, and it's not because they think you're powerful. And you usually are a very insecure person or someone that is very jealous, you know, and you had a hard life if you feel the need to intimidate and bully. Usually you've been bullied yourself. Maybe you've been abused yourself. And so I feel bad sometimes for bullies. I honestly do. Sometimes I feel bad for bullies because I'm like, man, maybe you're a bully because you were bullied a lot. Maybe you're a bully because one of your family members, you know, used to abuse you or bully you. But again, two wrongs don't make a right, and there is such a thing as self-control. And, you know, one person may have been abused their whole life and live in a country in which they had to very much struggle so hard and go through so much, and yet they're still a good person. They choose not to unalive others, they choose not to hit somebody else, to kick someone else, to scream at someone else. They still choose to be an adult and to communicate and to be respectful. And then you can have someone who has had, you know, in most people's eyes and even maybe in their own eyes, the best life in the world. And they choose to go around being a douche lord. They choose to go around having a chip on their shoulder for some fucking reason. So, you know, I don't understand why we're throwing ticker tape parades for people that choose not to unalive someone because we disagree. But again, that's kind of the state of the world, I guess, today. We deserve gold stars now for not punching each other in the throat because we don't like someone's shoes. But you know, um, everybody needs a gold star. I say that all the time. I like gold stars, I like a pat on the back. But at the same time, I mean, gosh, isn't part of being a human giving grace? Do we not give we don't give people grace? We just judge and be like, I would never do that. Ugh, I can't believe they would do that. Ugh. And we roll our eyes and you know, we do the ugh thing. Ugh. You know, and I've done it. Again, most of the things I'm saying I've done, but I'm learning and I'm doing it less and less, or I'm not doing it at all. I'm not perfect, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell right now. Okay, you but right now you can't tell. Okay, anyway, sorry, I got sidetracked because I just saw something that I really want to take a picture of, and I'm in the middle of a podcast, and I really want to take a picture because it's fucking cool. I might just pause this, but then I won't know what the fuck I'm talking about when I pick this back up. And it's gonna sound weird, but I'm gonna lose the light if I don't. Oh, anyway, maybe I can just wrap this up because I really don't have a whole lot else to say, other than thank you so much to everybody out there. Shout out to Japan and Singapore and America. Fuck yeah. I'm gonna say that every time because it's fun. Um shout out to everybody that's been listening to Japan and Singapore. Um, again, if I could hug every single person individually for listening to my podcast, I would, no matter what country you're from. No matter what city you're from, no matter what your background is, if I could hug every single person out there for listening to my podcast, I would do it. I would. So right now I'm sending a virtual hug. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so freaking much. I'm doing the sprinkler. Doing the robot? Yeah. And jazz hands. That's all for you. For real. Anyway, I super appreciate. I kind of cut this just like abruptly, didn't I? I got sidetracked by um if anybody takes pictures, they'll know. I, in fact, the lights fading as we speak. I gotta go. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart. Please keep listening. Check out all of my social media. Tell a friend, tell a neighbor. Remember to take a breath and let go um in through your nose, out through your mouth, and uh till next time.