In today's episode I will be sharing Kit Harington's journey to sobriety! If you're a fan of GOT then you're not going to want to miss this one! 🎥 100% FREE SHORT MOVIE: How To Make Controlling Alcohol 🍺 Feel Like A Flick Of A Switch In Your Brain: https://www.soberclear.com/dark-control-now/
❌ MEN ONLY: Exclusive Free Video Training On “The Secret To Controlling Alcohol”: http://www.soberclear.com/2024-men
📞 Book a Roadmap Call to see if the Soberclear Program and First Principles Thinking could be a good match with you: https://soberclear.com/bookcall-ytd
In today's episode I will be sharing Kit Harington's journey to sobriety! If you're a fan of GOT then you're not going to want to miss this one! 🎥 100% FREE SHORT MOVIE: How To Make Controlling Alcohol 🍺 Feel Like A Flick Of A Switch In Your Brain: https://www.soberclear.com/dark-control-now/
❌ MEN ONLY: Exclusive Free Video Training On “The Secret To Controlling Alcohol”: http://www.soberclear.com/2024-men
📞 Book a Roadmap Call to see if the Soberclear Program and First Principles Thinking could be a good match with you: https://soberclear.com/bookcall-ytd
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to wwwsoberclearcom. One thing I know for sure is that if you stop drinking alcohol, you will have to deal with other people, the drink, and you will have people at some point in your life that will ask you if you want to have a drink of alcohol. You won't have a pee, you won't have a. Why you won't have a whiskey, whatever. But what should we say to those people? How can we let them know what we're doing and not upset? Because at the end of the day, unless you're going to lock yourself in your house and never go out and avoid restaurants and avoid bars and avoid social interactions, then you won't have to deal with people at some point. And if you've watched my channel for a while, you'll know that I always say that we shouldn't hide from alcohol. It's part of our society. We should change our world for you. We should change our beliefs and then we're able to be around it and not worry about it. But at the same time, well, the drinkers are one of the most sensitive things that we could deal with, because sometimes it's going to be our best friend, sometimes it's going to be our parent, sometimes it's going to be even our children. How are we going to deal with these people? Now, obviously, children wasn't maybe the best example there, but you get my point. It's people that are really close to us, people that we care about and people that we love. So what I'm going to break down for you in this video today is first, I'm going to quickly touch on shifting your beliefs around alcohol. Then we're going to break down the two categories of drinkers and what you should do for each category, and then we're going to talk about the four stages of how you need to deal with each of these people, which basically goes up in severity the further that we get into the video. Listen, by the end of this video, I hate to say it, but you might be making some uncomfortable decisions about the people you do online, but that's okay because I'm going to help you with it. So let's dive into it.
Speaker 1:So, when I tried to stop drinking, I drank for about 10 years and it was just up and down the whole time. Sometimes I stopped, sometimes I stopped, but there was a period in my life where I went to A8. Now my own mother has been to A8 for over 20 years. She completely saved her life and as a result of it saving her life, my upbringing was much better. So I've got a lot of things to thank A8 for. But I remember there were a few points where I was like hmm, and he stuck with me, and one of the phrases that stuck with me is something that my mother said to me multiple times over the years is that if you sit in a barber's chair long enough, you're going to get a heck. And I'm pretty sure that's referring to doing things like going to bars. You know, being around high alcohol environments and basically saying, if you spend enough time there, you eventually get a drink. And I think that that is completely false.
Speaker 1:In the first year that I stopped drinking, I went to nightclubs. I mean, I lived in Bangkok for a month, me and my best friend. We went to play pool like 4 or 5 nights a week. These are heavily, heavily, heavily alcohol fueled environments. I didn't even have a single desire. I met my girlfriend in a bar. I actually bought my girlfriend alcohol the first time I met her. I have been around alcohol hundreds and hundreds of times, but according to that little phrase, then surely I should have been drinking by now. Right, but I'm not. I have no desire to drink. I'm not a good stuff at AA. I'm not here to criticise that program, but this idea that if you stop drinking, you need to avoid alcohol for the best of your life is something that I don't believe in anyway. I think it's an absolute fallacy. It is not true at all, because once you've shifted your beliefs and you can see alcohol for what it is and you see it as something that you don't want, then you can be around drinkers all the time. You can go to parties, you can go to barbecues, you can go to weddings. Anything doesn't bother you. And now I do go into belief shifting more in the video, in the description. So if you want more information on how to do that, then go ahead and click the link down below.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to get that out of the way to give you a bit of context on the next part of the video. Firstly, you're going to have three kinds of people in your life. The first kind of person is going to be super supportive if you're not drinking. They're just going to be like cool man, awesome, love to hear it. But the next two are a little bit trickier to deal with. So at the beginning you have a binary choice. You need to look at the person that you're dealing with and say is this person somebody that I want to keep in my life or is this somebody that they literally want me to drink? They want me to derail? They don't really give it a fiver way and you've got to decide.
Speaker 1:Now my journey when I stopped drinking alcohol, I had people in my life that I I don't want to sound like a psychopathic or anything like that, but I have people that I eliminated. I just said you know what? We're not on the same life, what I thought anymore. I've got to say goodbye. Like you clearly don't want me to go in chains and you know, you'd probably rather see me drink.
Speaker 1:Now I had people in my life where I had to take a bit of inventory. I had to say, alright, all those people helping me, and I had to say nope and I had to cut my ties. But there were other people that I couldn't do that with. So that's the first thing, right, you've got to ask yourself is this person somebody that I want to keep in my life? Is it somebody that I don't want to keep in my life? But let's say that you decided that this is somebody that you want to deal with. You know, maybe it's your wife, your husband, maybe it's your parents.
Speaker 1:Well, there are basically four phases, or four stages that you need to go through with each person and, depending on the individual, it depends on which stage you're going to end up. So the first stage is when somebody offers you a drink. Let's say, you know your mom's there like, oh, come on, it's Christmas, just have one glass. And that's somebody that you can't cut out, you don't want to cut out. And the first stage is being polite. You know, in that example they'd be just saying no, thanks, mom, I'm OK. You know, I don't think and that's it. And for some people they'll listen to that and that will be you. You'll put that behind your back. So that's the first stage is just being polite. And, to be honest, if I'm truly honest, that's going to be 90 percent of people, if not more. Most people are just going to respect your decision. They're going to be happy for you. You just be polite and that's it. They never bring it up again. But what do you do when somebody brings it up again?
Speaker 1:Well, this is when you actually need to be a little bit more fur. You know, in the first stage you're soft, you're alike, respectful. But if somebody insists, they're like ah, man, you've got to have that drink. It's Christmas Day, please have that drink. Well, the next stage is being fur. It's not being rude, it's not being aggressive, it's just being fur. But it's still being polite. And it would be saying something like told you, I don't want to drink, please don't ask you. It's just being fur. There's nothing wrong with that, it's not disrespectful, you're just saying that's how cool, I don't want to do that. But you're not pushing it where it's confrontational in any way. It's just like no thanks, and you're fur.
Speaker 1:Now the third stage is going to get a little bit more confrontational, maybe at this scenario with the mum at the Christmas dinner, maybe there. And then they say, ok, well, I won't ask you again. But then two weeks later they're doing the exact same thing. Oh, come on, it's my birthday, let's just have a couple of drinks. Now you could go through the stages again. You could be polite and then be firm and then move into the next stage, which I'm going to break down. Or you can skip the politeness and go straight into the third stage, and this is where you need to set a boundary In this stage.
Speaker 1:If they insist and they push again or they start using any kind of manipulation or guilt tricks or anything like that, you set a clear boundary and it would go something like this I've told you I'm not drinking, don't ask again. You're crossing the line and is being a little bit more confrontational. Now, for some people they'll stop there, but for some people you've got to go even further. You've got to go into the fourth stage, and this is where you directly say to somebody that if you ask me again, it's an issue and I'm not accepting it at all.
Speaker 1:And if an individual crosses you at stage four, where you have set a clear boundary, where you're saying that it's totally unacceptable for them to ask you to drink alcohol, and this is where it's going to get uncomfortable, because this is where you really need to ask yourself is this person going to support me on my journey of not drinking?
Speaker 1:And listen, I'm not saying like in some situations you can't eliminate your mother, right? You can't not speak to your mum ever again. But basically, for some of these people you may just have to start giving them a wide berth. You might just have to meet up with them. Less you might have to decline the invitations. For some people you might just have to say farewell. You might just have to say do you know what? Maybe if that person changes and joins me on that path, then we could rekindle our relationship. But at the end of the day, your sobriety is more important than anything. Sticking on this path is more important than probably any relationship, because if you drink, then every relationship that you have will suffer, and not only will the relationships that you have suffer will, you will suffer as well.