Stop Drinking Podcast by Soberclear

THIS Is How You Deal With People Who Drink Alcohol

• Leon Sylvester

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Speaker 1:

Drinking alcohol sucks, there's no question about it. It damages our health, it damages our financial life. It costs a bunch of money. You know stopping drinking can cost God knows how much. With rehabs it can take away 10 years from your life expectancy. I mean, it does a lot of damage to us, but the other thing that it does a lot of damage to is our relationships. Right, I don't know about you, but I've upset my mum, my grandma. You know I had a little brother and must have set a terrible example to him as well. But today I wanted to unpack some extremely important stuff on stopping drinking and your relationships, and you will have to deal with this on your journey, there is no question about it. And I'm really going to unpack how you can manage the different people in your life when you stop drinking, because not everybody is going to be supportive, right, and I'm really going to tell you a major mindset shift that I've had, in fact, I would say, in the past month. The shift that I've had all from watching a YouTube video, by the way that I'm going to talk to you about the shift that I've had has had one of the most profound impacts that I've probably had over the past five years, like it's been that big and it's early, I decided, you know, I just got this wave of inspiration. I'm still drinking my coffee here, so let me talk to you about this.

Speaker 1:

So when you stop drinking, people will judge you. People will judge you whether you like it or not, right? So you're going to get you know, some people judge you positively. They're going to be like oh yes, you know, dad's not drinking anymore, husband's not drinking anymore. We're so proud of you, we're so happy and that's great, right. Then you're going to get some people who, like, they're indifferent, they don't judge you, they don care, right. And then you're gonna get some people that judge you and they're gonna think who does he think he is right? Who's this guy stopping drinking alcohol? So you're gonna get judged, no matter what, right? So so I want to tell you about this video, because I'm going to tell you how to deal with judgment, and this has changed my life so much over the past few months or month since I watched the video. I actually watched it on a flight man. I'm able to make these videos now without cuts. That's the weird thing is, in the past, I'd have to film a YouTube video and we cut them up because I make mistakes and because of this shift it's been so profound that I can just do now like a 20 minute video without a single mistake, which is pretty cool. So, anyway, not bragging, but I'm showing you this isn't just about you know, your relationships and alcohol, which is going to be massive. This could actually change a lot of areas of your life.

Speaker 1:

So the video talks about you should be a leader, right, and he swore. He said fuck everybody else's opinion, be a hypocrite, right. And he wasn't advocating hypocrisy in the video, but he was saying be a leader and do whatever the fuck you want. And I thought, you know, that's a nice start to a video. I can get on this, I can listen to this. So he goes on and he tells this story and the story's mad.

Speaker 1:

There was a point in the story where the woman he was dating pulled up at the side of the road and just pulled her pants down and peed, but I'll get to that in a second, but you know, a bit weird. So this guy he was talking about you know he's married now and stuff but he was talking about his old dating life and he was a bit of a playboy back in the day. So he's dating this girl and it's a local girl and she's a Christian, right, she wears a cross. And it's a local girl and she's a Christian, right, she wears a cross, she's a Christian and she goes to church every Sunday. So he goes to date this girl on a Saturday night and she's like you know, I can't stay up too late, I've got church the next day so we can't do too much. Anyway, they do stay up late, they stay up all night. They stay up drinking, probably doing drugs, god knows what, and they stay up super late. And then she's like I've still got to go to church, I've still got to go to church. So he goes and drives her to church. Hey, I just thought, was he drink driving? I bet he was, you know, because he probably had alcohol in his system still from the night before. Anyway, doesn't matter, who cares.

Speaker 1:

So he drives this lady to church, his girlfriend, this girl he's dating, and he said that just before they got to the church she was, I don't know, like hungover. She came out the side of the road, pulled her pants down, peed, and I think people in the church saw that she did that because I think she did it quite close by to the church, right. And then she goes to the church and that's kind of the end of that story. And what he said next I found so profound, that and when it comes to your relationships with alcohol, it's going to be so helpful. But what he said next I found so profound. He said that woman, that girl he was dating, was doing whatever the heck she wanted. She wasn't worried about any judgment from anybody.

Speaker 1:

So so he thought about it and he unpacked it and he said you know, he, the people in that church, right, they're going to look at her and say you know, some people are going to be like that's a bad Christian girl, she shouldn't be in this church. You know she's out drinking, having sex. You know she's taking drugs. Did you see her pee at the side of the road? This isn't a Christian woman, right? You're going to have people in the church judging her like that. And then you're gonna have some other people saying, oh, thank god that she's at this church, thank god that she's, that she's found christ, it doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter, it's for god to judge her, not us. You know you're gonna have some people feeling like this. And then you're gonna have some people like, let's say, you've got some atheist, right, that doesn't believe in God, and they're going to judge this person and think you know what a weirdo for going to church in the first place. Right, you know they're going to have an opinion like that and everybody's going to have a different opinion. But the thing is is everybody's judgment comes from a different place, but all the judgments are totally different and quite often when somebody judges you is they do it on two sides of a spectrum. It's like the polar opposite.

Speaker 1:

So he goes on to talk about another example in bodybuilding. So this guy was a bodybuilder on to talk about another example in bodybuilding. So this guy was a bodybuilder and he took steroids, uh, but he also ate really healthy, right? So to some complete health freak that like is you know running and I don't know, perfect diet, perfect nutrition, never touch drugs. To that person, he's super unhealthy. But then, because he's taking drugs, you know, because he's, but yeah, I do love that. So to that person, he's unhealthy for the drugs. But then maybe to a, you know, a crack addict, that person might judge him and think, oh my gosh, that guy is so healthy. Look at him, even though he's on all the drugs. So so we're getting judged on one side of the spectrum because he's a you know from, from like a crack addict, saying that that guy is super, super healthy. You know, he's top, top level health.

Speaker 1:

The same thing is going to happen to you, right? Some people boom, look at him, go, he stopped drinking, he's doing it, he's making it happen. And those people are awesome, right? And then you're going to have some people that judge it. Right, they're not happy about you not drinking. They don't want to see it. And here's the thing, here's the message, here's the point of this video who cares? Who cares what anybody thinks? Everybody's going to judge you anyway. But who cares? Like? Everybody's judging you from a different place. They're all judging you from their perception and their perspective. So, like, who cares? And, and the thing is is, no matter what you do, you're going to be judged for it. Like, do you want to know what triggered this message? I'll tell you what triggered this message.

Speaker 1:

I got a message this morning of somebody, so I've started posting on instagram and you know, I'm all about youtube. I love youtube, I love making long videos, I love, uh, talking forever, as you can tell, tell. But I like YouTube because I can go deeper, I can share ideas and I can give people those wake-up calls with alcohol, right, hopefully, like this video is doing for you, anyway. So I get this message from this guy and since stopping drinking, you know, my life has changed right, like I'm in a pretty sweet, nice hotel suite right now, like before I wasn't, I was living in a shared house that I didn't even pay rent for. I was borrowing money off family. Life's changed in a big way since stopping drinking, but that's actually all happened through helping people stop drinking. So that's a good sign, right, but I'm definitely in a much, much stronger financial position now, as I should be after not drinking alcohol for seven years. I mean, everybody should be right.

Speaker 1:

And this guy messaged me and he said, leon, uh, you know, for somebody that's struggling with alcohol, you shouldn't be making posts like this. Your life looks too good. Um, you know you, it looks disingenuous and you look arrogant. You know it looks disingenuous and you look arrogant and, for one of the first times ever, I had no reaction right Now. In the past, that kind of stuff would have upset me, you know when somebody left me a negative comment when I first started making YouTube videos, saying, oh, this guy doesn't know anything, he's not drunk, he's only 20, what? He's only 27, now 28,. I'm 32 now. He's not drunk even long enough to know what he's talking about. Right, hang on.

Speaker 1:

You know, these opinions really used to bother me, and it was because of this judgment thing, right. So to this guy that sent me the message he's judging me from one perspective. But then you might have somebody else that watches this video thinking, well, hang on, why is he in Asia? I mean, who goes there? Only poor people go to Asia for holidays. Why doesn't he go to Hawaii? Why doesn't he go to Switzerland? So it's stupid to listen to anybody's opinion Like this fear of judgment and especially when we stop drinking alcohol, this fear of like how people are going to perceive us, how people are going to react to us.

Speaker 1:

Who freaking cares? Like, who cares? They're going to judge you anyway, so just do whatever the hell you want. And you know when people say like, why aren't you having a drink tonight? When they say that because people will ask oh, why are you not drinking? Why don't you just have one? Because I don't want to, oh, why not? I ain't talking to you about it, oh, but come on. And it's like listen, people might argue and they might push back, and so I'm not saying that's not going to happen, but in your mind you need to always realize that you will be judged for anything you do in your life, but you're always going to be judged from two sides. So who cares, right, who actually gives a shit? Who cares what anybody thinks? And so I don't know about you.

Speaker 1:

I really hope that these ideas have done the same thing for you that they've done for me, because over the past few weeks, what I've started doing with this now is I get a lot of ideas, right, I get a lot of ideas and I'll tell you what I do. I'll get, like, a business idea or an idea for a video, or you know, an idea for a piece of content, and I'll message a friend I say, oh, what do you think about this? Right, and it's stupid. And because the friend will, one friend will say, oh, that's sick, do it. And then another friend will say what are you talking about? Don't do that. And then what will happen is the fear of judgment will stifle me, and this happens with alcohol as well, right?

Speaker 1:

So one thing I say when people stop drinking alcohol is like don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody, don't tell your friends, don't tell your family, I mean, because they're going to judge you right? So the best thing you can do is just keep quiet. Sorry, I'm just getting a bit uncomfortable. Um, it's just keep quiet because this way you can avoid these conversations and and this judgment that's going to happen, right?

Speaker 1:

So you can avoid it by just saying nothing and going back to what I was saying is what I would do is I would, you know, message a friend, message you know, another YouTuber or something, say I've got this idea for this and that and this and that, and then I'd get all these opinions and then I wouldn't do anything. And it's like, why am I listening to other people's judgment? Like who cares? So since I listened to this video and since I heard about this, and since I realized, like judgment, it just doesn't matter. I just stopped caring. I have just stopped caring what other people think, like that guy's message would have affected me a long time ago and now I don't care. I just don't care. I'm doing what I want and I feel I'm feeling fired up. I'm feeling fired up, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So let's get it back to alcohol. Let's wrap it up with alcohol again one more time. So when you stop drinking alcohol, right, first thing is keep it to yourself, unless you've got a really strong frame right, and when those people push because they will, and when those people judge, unless you've got a super strong frame and your mindset is like mine, like 100% convinced that alcohol is poison and ethanol and it's never going to do anything for you. If you feel like that, then you know you can tell people. But you know a lot of people. At the beginning they're not quite ready for those conversations. So what I think is good is just to kind of keep it to yourself. It's you know. Just you know it's you.

Speaker 1:

As long as you've made that true decision that's between you and yourself, right, you don't need to go and tell the world that you've stopped drinking alcohol. I don't think you should do that. You can. You know I'm not saying listen. You can listen to my ideas and disregard them. The only idea you can't disregard is that alcohol is poison, alcohol is ethanol, alcohol is a drug. There's no such thing as one drink and that shit will kill you. That's the only thing. I won't let you disagree with. Anything else you can disagree with my points, right, but you can't disagree with those ones. So, anyway, back to it. So keep it to yourself.

Speaker 1:

And then the next thing is that when you start dealing with people and you know, talking to people and dealing with your relationships and whatever and people start judging you, which they will who cares? Who cares? Do what you want anyway, and let this be a lesson to anything in your life. There are probably things in your life that you've been thinking about doing for ages and you're going to get judged for them. But who cares? I'll give you, like, one last example now, right, one final example.

Speaker 1:

I have a very close friend and I've really been encouraging him to start YouTube because he's dead good looking, he's dead charismatic, he's got a business, but he works like a madman and he doesn't make a crazy amount of money from it. He makes alright money, but he doesn't make a crazy amount of money. But that guy, he's one of the hardest and hardest working people I know and he's one of the highest IQ people I've ever met in my life, right? So you know, I've been pushing him to do a YouTube channel for ages, because I think he'll do super well. And that's my opinion, right? That's my opinion as somebody who's found some success on YouTube. So I'm judging him on one side, but then he might have the fear of posting a video and thinking, well, what would this friend think? So again, who cares? It doesn't matter, like it just doesn't matter. If he wants to start YouTube, just start.

Speaker 1:

So, anyway, this has changed my life so much. This has been like such a profound shift. I don't give a shit anymore. I'm doing whatever the heck I want. I'm not asking for judgment, I'm not sorry. I shouldn't say that. I should say I'm not going around in my life seeking permission from other people to do what I want. I'm executing, I'm doing it and it feels damn good, it feels damn liberating. And if you wanna stop drinking alcohol, just freaking do it. Screw everybody else, screw what they think about you and just do it Now.

Speaker 1:

Final thing if you've made it this far in this video, then that means that you liked this content. So if you want more of it in fact, no, I was going to tell you to watch another video, but actually what I'm going to actually tell you to do is I'm going to tell you that we're actually accepting new clients in my program right now. So I have a coaching program. It's the Sober Clear program. So what we do in the Sober Clear program is we help you do two things. So we help you reframe the way you view alcohol using something called first principles thinking, and then we use a future focused coaching approach. So there's no judgment, there's no going to the past, there's no sitting talking about war stories. It's all about health, it's all about business, it's all about building your family life up.

Speaker 1:

And we have a client base of about 500 now top business owners, professionals, high-level people. They're all in a community together. There's a lot of coaching, a lot of support. We get a 92% to 97% success rate. If you want to see if it's a good fit to work together, you can click the link beneath this video to book a call. I know I'm not giving that much information about how it works or anything, but if you want information, just go over to SoberClearcom. Have a read of that. But yeah, screw everybody. Screw what everybody thinks, just do it. Do whatever you want, quit drinking alcohol. Don't worry what anybody thinks about you. I'll speak to.

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Leon Sylvester

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