8 things to avoid when quitting alcohol

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Transcript

Welcome And What To Avoid

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help you make stopping drinking a simple, logical, and easy decision. We help you with tips, tools, and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free. If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching, then head over to www.soberclear.com. I struggled to stop drinking alcohol for almost 10 years, but for nearly eight years, I have not touched a drop. And in order to do this, I had to avoid so many things. And a lot of these things are your typical mainstream advice. I had to ignore them because I knew if I followed them, I'd end up relapsing. So today I'm going to show you the eight things you need to avoid if you want to stop drinking alcohol and make this change permanent. Because I don't want you to fight for 10 years like I did. I want you to be able to flick a switch in your brain, see alcohol for what it is, and move on with your life. But that's only going to happen if you avoid these eight things.

Drop The Alcoholic Label

SPEAKER_00 0:56

So, number one, the first thing you need to avoid doing is calling yourself an alcoholic. Now, I'm not talking here about labeling yourself as an alcoholic as a medical diagnosis. I'm talking here about internalizing this idea that you are the problem. You are not an alcoholic. You just drink too much alcohol. Are people that stop smoking cigarettes, cigaretteholics, or nicotinoholics for the rest of their life? No. What about gamblers? Are they gamblerholics? What about people that get addicted to pornography? Are they pornaholics for the rest of their life? Well, the answer is no, they're not. And in fact, no doctor, unless we're talking about somebody who's severely physically addicted to alcohol, no doctor would say that you're an alcoholic just because you drink too much alcohol. The only way this exists is through a self-help program, 12-step program. And when you internalize this idea that you're the problem, it can actually be pretty dangerous. And I know this because I did it. I tried to go to AA. I went for about three months. I didn't drink, but then when I actually drank again, I had this idea that I was the problem, not the drug, and I can never be fixed. The only way I can fix myself was continuing to do the 12 steps, giving myself up to God. And then when I did drink, I ended up drinking more than I drank before I went to the meetings in the first place. Because I have this idea now that I'm the problem. I'm not the problem. You're not the problem. You need to change the way that you view alcohol, not change the way that you view yourself. Now don't get me wrong, there are people out there that go through this path, they call themselves an alcoholic, and they don't drink ever again. So what I'm saying now isn't gonna resonate with everybody. But for me, dropping that idea that I was an alcoholic and I was the problem was the most important step to freeing myself. Which leads

Stop Avoiding Alcohol Situations

SPEAKER_00 2:32

me to the second point. And the second thing you want to avoid doing is avoiding alcohol. See, if you've got this idea that alcohol is this amazing thing and you need to stop drinking and you really got to fight this urge for the rest of your life, then it's probably a good idea that you avoid alcohol. But if you're able to see alcohol as the poison that it is, as ethanol, as something that adds nothing to you in your life, if you're able to see it so clearly, you don't need to avoid it. And in fact, I'd recommend that you get around it because you don't want to reinforce this idea that you've given something up that added value in your life. You want to see it for what it is and get around it. And then look at the people drinking and ask yourself, why are they doing it? And that's not from a place of judgment. That's from a place of, let's say, clarity, right? Of being able to see the situation clearly without the conditioning, the marketing, the beliefs that alcohol is a good thing. When you can see it clearly, you don't need to avoid alcohol. You can be around it and enjoy your life.

The Myth Of Just One

SPEAKER_00 3:25

The third thing to avoid is the idea of having just one drink. Do you know how many times I had just one drink? All of my drinks, in fact, were just one drink. I never woke up and said, I'm gonna drink 15 cans of beer today. No, I'd have one drink and then I'd have another, one drink, and then I'd have another, one drink. See, this is the thing. Alcohol is a chain reaction that never ends until you say, I'm done. Nobody has 20 drinks and decides at the beginning of that drinking session that I'm gonna drink 20. Okay, sure. You could argue that people do go out binge drinking with the intention to get drunk. But I'm talking here more that when you stop drinking alcohol, this idea that you're gonna have just one drink is it's a fallacy. It's never going to happen. There is no such thing because of the nature of alcohol, of how it addicts you, how it dehydrates you, how it lowers your inhibitions, so many forces work against you that the idea of having just one drink, just get over it. Like it's not gonna happen. And provided you see alcohol for what it is, without the conditioning and you know, the pull of it helping you in life, as long as you see it that way, you won't want to have just one drink. Number four is forgetting your why.

Remember The Real Reason

SPEAKER_00 4:27

What I mean here is if you're trying to stop drinking alcohol, reduce your drinking, whatever it is, there will be a reason. There will be many reasons, but there's probably one specific reason that's really just hammering at you. For me, the main reason that I stopped drinking alcohol, there are many factors, you know, not having enough money, health. I could see my health deteriorating, putting on weight, feeling lethargic. The real reason why I had to stop drinking alcohol is because I knew that I could never live the life of my dreams if I kept drinking. And that scared me. It scares me. It scares me still to this day that I'm gonna get to the last day of my life and I've not done everything I wanted to do. Now I know that as long as I don't drink alcohol, I will hopefully leave this earth with a feeling of satisfaction. Like I really tried my best. But the thought of getting told from a doctor I've got a year left to live and I know that I've drank my life away scares me. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm not trying to belittle you here, but that should scare you as well. Do you really want to get to the end of your life and think, should have done it differently? I don't want to die with regret. So, whatever your why is, don't forget it. Because one day you'll feel better, you'll stop drinking, and you will feel better. You'll have more clarity, more energy. And if you forget your why, it's very easy to just go back to the old

Build A Future Worth Choosing

SPEAKER_00 5:37

way. Number five is not focusing on the future. You really need to do this. You need something to go towards because alcohol causes pain, right? We know it causes pain. So we want to remove the source of pain, which is the alcohol. But then the source of pain stops creating pain. And then eventually you start to feel okay. When you start to feel okay, it's kind of like you've got two options. You can just stagnate, you can keep things where they are, you can maybe go to the past and sit with a therapist or in AA, they'll make you make amendments to people. And everything can kind of just stay the same. But that's not very powerful. That doesn't really get you out of bed in the morning. Instead, why not design a vision for your life? Why not have a place that you're aiming towards? I'm sure that there's goals that you've got for your health, for your family, for your work. Make this the focus. Instead of just making stopping drinking the focus and putting all of your energy into avoiding alcohol, just change the way that you view alcohol and then put your energy into something better. There's no better feeling than going towards what you want every day, making a bit of progress. It might not be perfect every day, but as long as you're moving in that direction, you're gonna feel good. And then the great thing that happens is six months, 12 months into things when you've not drank for that long and everything's going in the right direction, you can look back and think, why would I want to add alcohol into this? It's a pretty powerful

Why Willpower Keeps You Stuck

SPEAKER_00 6:54

thing. The sixth thing is you really need to avoid using willpower. What I mean here, it's all kind of focused around the previous points, but if you're using willpower to avoid alcohol, then you've not done the work. You've not changed the way that you view alcohol. How much willpower does it take you to not punch yourself in the face? Zero. What about how much willpower does it take for you to not drink bleach? Zero. You see these actions as ridiculous that don't serve you in any way. So you don't need to use willpower. Now, how hard would it be if all of your friends started punching themselves in the face? They went out to a bar and everyone's just sat there smacking themselves. How hard would it be for you to not do that? It wouldn't be hard at all. See, when you see alcohol this way is the equivalent of people punching themselves in the face, and I know that sounds a bit over the top, but when you see it that way, you don't need to use willpower. This idea that it takes willpower to stop drinking alcohol is built on this idea that alcohol adds value in your life. When you start to see that it doesn't and it won't and it can't, you don't need to use willpower. So if you're struggling and you're finding yourself having to force through some days, then go back to first principles. Break the problem down, study, invest in books, in courses, in self-educating yourself, and really just get clear on what alcohol is. Now, the seventh thing you want to avoid doing is running away from bad

Feel Bad Without Escaping

SPEAKER_00 8:09

emotions. When you stop drinking alcohol, you're gonna have bad days. You're gonna get stressed, you're gonna get tired, you're gonna get angry, you're gonna get lonely. There'll just be periods of your life where things aren't going exactly how you want it to go. And one of the problems when you drink alcohol is that we can be used to having this knee-jerk reaction to just pick up a drink. Get rid of that feeling. And one thing you're gonna have to avoid doing is trying to escape. You don't need to feel good all of the time. Sometimes you're gonna need to feel bad and just kind of get through things. So just expect that not every day is gonna be perfect, you will have bad days, and you've

Get Support And A Roadmap Call

SPEAKER_00 8:42

got to be okay with that. Now, the eighth thing you want to avoid doing is doing all of this on your own. You can do this alone, but it's just gonna be harder, it'll cost more money, it's gonna take a lot longer. Because the other option is we can do this together. What I have is a system to help you reframe how you view alcohol. So you don't want to drink, and I know that sounds hard to believe, but we get a 96% client-rated success rate. We've helped over 500 clients, and the method that we take you through is scientifically validated. A scientific report was written by an academic psychologist that really breaks down the science of why this works so effectively. So that's the first thing that we can do. And then the second thing is we can help you design a future, help you design a vision, a place where you want your life to go. If you want to work together, what you can do is click the link down below, fill in an application, you can answer a few questions so we can learn a bit more about you to make sure that we can help, and then we'll jump on a free roadmap call. This is where we'll really dive into your situation, help you with that vision, see where the holes are, and then if it makes sense, I'll invite you to work with me and join the Soberclear program where we work you through the Soberclear system. If you want more information, head over to soberclear.com. And if you're ready to apply, just click the link down below, fill in the application. Let's jump on a call. Speaker soon. Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking podcast by Soberclear. If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit www.soberclear.com.