Strung Out Episode 225. ARTIST KENNY DARKPOET LAPINS

Kenny Lapins was born in Skokie, Illinois, in the summer of 1967. A lover of words, he makes a living as an advertising copywriter. Kenny has two daughters, Abigail and Rachel, with whom he shares a love of art, Marvel movies, and dad jokes. He turned to acrylic-on-canvas painting later in life, not picking up a paint brush before his 46th birthday.  Kenny shares his fascinating journey into art, his struggles with cognitive decline due to cancer treatment, and how it unveiled his hidden talent in painting. Discover Kenny's unique approach to Fauvism, his inspirations, and the beautiful use of color in his artwork. This heartfelt conversation covers Kenny's creative process, his dual career in writing and painting, and his powerful message about the importance of giving back through art. Don't miss this insightful episode filled with inspiration, resilience, and artistic passion.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Strung Out, the podcast that looks at life through the lens of an artist. Your host is the artist, writer, and musician, Martin Lawrence McCormack. Now here's Marty. Hey, great to have you with us, and we are on location. of an artist, Kenny Labbins, and, uh, Kenny is, uh, an artist that, uh, fauvism, right?

[00:00:29] That's the style of art. And, um, we're going to talk, uh, uh, to Kenny. We're going to do, uh, uh, a two podcast, uh, special here, um, because there's a lot to, to cover here. One of the things, as you notice, uh, we're in your house, and This is your studio as well, which I love because I think most artists, uh, You know, if you can turn your home into the studio and we're surrounded by this beautiful art This is the way to go, you know, I mean sometimes, you know, you can like at the Fulton Street Collective You can work at a place like that But, um, all the more power to you when you're in your own home and doing creative work, and we should talk about that, but maybe we'll save that for the second one.

[00:01:20] Let's find out about you. Okay. First of all, um, you, uh, tell us a little bit about yourself and how you decided to get into, uh, Fulvism or how it found you. Sure, yeah, no, that's a great question. So, uh, I started painting about 11 years ago. I'm 57 years old now, so I didn't start painting until I was 46. And if you had told me 20 years ago, Hey, you're going to be a painter, I would have laughed in your face because I'm not artistic, I can't draw, to this day I still can't sketch or draw, so when I'm beginning a painting it's a little bit of a challenge actually.

[00:01:57] But a friend of mine, Anne Marie Morgan, who's also an artist, um, said to me, hey, do you want to go to one of those fun drinking and painting classes at Bottles and Bottega down in Chicago? Okay. And I said, sure, you know, I can't paint, and I've never done anything like that, but I'll certainly be happy to, you know, go with you because it'll be fun.

[00:02:18] Okay. So, uh, it was a, uh, the class was painting a scene of Chicago, uh, the Chicago Theater and a, uh, and a trolley car in front. And you know, and in these classes, they give you the painting ahead of time and they say, okay, now reproduce this. And the teacher walks you through how to do that. And you get a little paper plate with acrylic paints and some brush and, you know, so, you know, not a lot of, uh, Not a lot of stuff to go on to start with, uh, you know, if you have no idea what you're doing.

[00:02:49] Uh, but as we went through the class, uh, you know, I was doing it and I was enjoying it. I was being, I was able to reproduce what I wanted to reproduce, which is the important thing. And the teacher at one point came by everyone's painting and she stopped behind mine and she said, Wow, you're really good.

[00:03:09] How long have you been a painter? This is my first painting. So 15 minutes and she said, okay, well, that's great. Never take a class in painting because you will lose this style that you have. What great advice. Right. It was amazing. And not only was it great advice, but it also sparked something in me. It was like, you know, a great opportunity.

[00:03:35] Teacher or mentor you may have that gives you confidence. That one statement that she made, Hey, that's a great painting. How long have you been a painter? You're amazing. Literally started that moment. That's my origin story. If I was a superhero, that's when the acid got poured on my body. Or I fell into the bed of acid.

[00:03:53] Um, I just became a painter at that moment. And, um, you know, I finished the painting and I ultimately sold it, which is ironic. And, um, then I actually went to another one with another friend of mine and, you know, and painted that and enjoyed it. That painting is actually hanging up right there. And, uh, then I did the thing that I think puts me in the next level, which was I bought my own supplies.

[00:04:23] I went to Michael's and bought some paints. Uh, and I, and I, and I only knew what I learned in, in that class, so I bought the paints that, that I saw there. Mm-Hmm. and the brushes that I saw there and the canvas that I saw there, and, you know, a pallet and went home and went to their website, the bottles of Bodega website and, and printed out one of the paintings that they have in their class and painted it by myself.

[00:04:49] Fun. Yeah. And that's my first painting I did myself. And, and that painting's actually. hanging over there. So, uh, you know, that's when I started. So then I started to think about, you know, what is this style that, that she yeah, and I, and I kind of looked at, at the, at the way I painted the, the, the images and how they differed from the reference paintings that they were showing us.

[00:05:15] And I realized that what I was doing was I was making them. Color, the focus of the painting, as opposed to whatever it is that I was painting, whatever building or, or, or landscape scene that I was painting. It wasn't necessarily the focus. It was the colors that I was choosing and I was not necessarily choosing naturalistic colors, right?

[00:05:38] So my skies were purple. The buildings were orange, you know, whatever. Uh, and so I did a little research and realized that, you know, I didn't invent that, that was something that. Henri Matisse came up with, and Benedict van Gogh came up with in, in, in 1900, uh, in a, um, in a style called Fouvism, which is where you take unnatural, uh, colors, blow them out, and have that be, have the painterliness of the painting be the focus as opposed to, right, I am painting a renaissance theme of angels that are doing this, you know, and that's what the painting is about.

[00:06:15] Uh, and so, That gave me all sorts of freedom. Yeah. Because I didn't have to worry about, are my lines straight? Because they're not. Are my colors correct? Because they're not. And I can choose any topic. Mm-Hmm. any subject and have it be a focus painting because it, you know Right. It's the color that is the focus.

[00:06:37] And you, what's nice is you found your, your niche, so to speak. Right. You know, and right away. Right away. Yeah. Which, which makes me think, you know, I. In some way destined to do this. Now, what's all interesting, which is really even more interesting is that, um, I'm also a cancer survivor and I had a chemotherapy, which, um, damaged my brain pretty considerably.

[00:07:07] I have a little bit of aphasia and I'm sure we'll see that as this, uh, interview goes on, I have trouble coming up with the word that I want to say every once in a while, not all the time. Uh, and, uh, other kinds of, of, of cognitive difficulties have arisen, and I've taken some cognitive tests, and then it shows, you know, a mild to moderate.

[00:07:32] Cognitive decline. Sure. And, uh, I was talking to my, and previous to this, my, my, my full time career and what I've been most of my life as a professional writer. So that's the way I've, I've always expressed myself through writing. Uh, and I've, and I found that, uh, that's kind of dropped off a little bit because The aphasia affects my coming up with words, right?

[00:08:00] However, I was talking to my neurologist about this and she said, yes, it's very likely that the damage that was done to your brain affecting your speech center has uncovered some area in your brain related to the visual. of life. So and one art gives way to the other. Indeed. And I think it's absolutely fascinating and it's, and it's not actually, um, unheard of in science.

[00:08:29] Uh, there, there have been, uh, cases in which, uh, artists have changed. For example, uh, Ravel, who created most famously the Bolero, which is, as you know, a very repetitive. piece of music, right? It's the same thing, same theme over and over again. Um, and you know, and builds and it's still beautiful, but it's very unlike everything else he had composed up to that point.

[00:08:59] Right. And it turns out that he was in the early stages. Of a brain, uh, disease. I don't exactly know which one it was. If it was, if it was dementia or whatever, but it was a brain disease, which caused him to see art in a different way in this repetitive way. Uh, and not only that, but there was a painter who captured, who painted a painting based on Ravel's Bolero and the painting itself therefore was very repetitive and her art.

[00:09:34] Started to become that, and it turns out she had that same mental block. So it's not unheard of that a brain problem in one area can uncover something else in another. Has your writing, uh, I mean, do you still write? I do. I still work as a professional writer. It's my job. Okay. It's much more difficult for me than it was.

[00:10:00] Good chance. Unfortunate. And, uh, at the end of the day, I'm extremely tired because I'm, I'm basically running on fumes. I'm using what's called executive reserve to do my work as opposed to using my full brain capacity to just do this thing that was very easy for me to do. Coming up with a, you know, as a, as a advertising copywriter, coming up with a cute, you know, Tagline or something like that would just, it would just come to me.

[00:10:27] Right? And now I have to work at it. And, you know, I still, I'm still good at it. I still can do it. I can still, uh, operate on a professional level, but it's much more difficult to do. And here you are now that, uh, you know, the, this, uh, aphasia, this mm-hmm. . This, uh, uh, chemo has, uh, unveiled this new. artistic, uh, avenue.

[00:10:50] And it's, it's an avenue that's got its own challenges, doesn't it? Indeed. Yeah, I, there are, there are years in which I am focused and I create 50 paintings and it's just great and everything is just flowing and I have no trouble finding inspiration. Uh, such as 2023, uh, last year, I painted more paintings than I had ever painted before.

[00:11:13] I painted 53 paintings and I've done 138 in total in my entire career. Wow. So that was almost half of all the paintings I've ever created. That's, uh, that's, that's formidable. That's, congratulations. Right, exactly. And, uh, almost all the paintings hanging up in, in, in here right now are from that, from last year.

[00:11:31] Uh, and this year and the, and the year before that, uh, I'm having difficulty doing that and, and, and, and not finding the, uh, inspiration easy. Uh, I have a boatload of, of images on, on my phone in, in a little directory that are things that I want to paint. But I just, I'm not, finding the inspiration is more difficult.

[00:11:53] So yeah, there are a lot of ups and downs with being an artist in general. And we can touch, touch on more of that, uh, I think with the, the second podcast, because, uh, I think, uh, you know, that's where you dispense your wisdom to, uh, all of us. Um, curious, where did you, you, you, it's Kenny Dark Poet. Yes. Now, when I saw that, I thought, okay, this guy, he's, uh, he's, he's, uh, you know, into Shelley.

[00:12:23] Right, exactly. Right, right, right. What, what, what, so what, what, what gives? As you can see, I have it on tape. Yeah, I like, and I love your painter smock, uh, you know, that's smart. So, um, it's really just a very vain, uh, thing. I, I had a friend, uh, who lived in Brooklyn and she and I had been friends for, for 30 years.

[00:12:46] And I went to visit her, uh, some probably 20 years ago now. And, uh, She and all of her friends in Brooklyn, 20 years ago, were all hipsters, and all had hipster names, right? Got it. So they all had these little monikers that they went by, and they only went by them. They were very serious about, this is my name, don't call me this other thing.

[00:13:09] Love it. And so, uh, I decided I wanted to have one too, and so at the time, as I said, I was mostly a writer, uh, and my poetry, uh, like my art, is very flowery and bright and, and, uh, colorful. Uh, and so I went with a name that's the opposite of that, Dark, Dark Poet, to be a little bit, uh, ironic. Uh, and I really, uh, like that, and, uh, my middle name, uh, actually starts with a D anyway.

[00:13:37] Uh, Dean. And so I just took it as a moniker and once I became a painter, I'm like, okay, well this is perfect because now I have this name which is going to make me stand out again. You know, as a painter, you need to find something that's a hook. Yeah. So, you know, like you said, you went to my website, you saw that and it immediately made you think of something.

[00:14:01] It doesn't matter what it is. But it became a thing by the way, let's let's uh, give your website right now. It's uh, it's www. KennyDarkPoetLappins. com Easy enough. Yeah, so you found you found this hook Yeah, I think a dark poet has a little more drama than Dean, right? You know, that's I my name Turned out that There's another Martin McCormick that paints over in Ireland.

[00:14:33] And, and then there's another Martin McCormick that's a musician. So I went with my middle name, Martin Lawrence McCormick. You know, would have been probably better to have had a, a more mysterious moniker. Um, to be honest. But, uh, let's take a little break. And when we come back, I want to, uh, talk to you a little bit about your background.

[00:14:53] You know, where you grew up and, Um, And how he got into writing, um, you know, you're, you're making, uh, you were making a living doing art. To begin with, right, which is admirable. And, um, we're talking to Kenny, dark poet Lapins, and, uh, we're in his studio home and you are on strung out. Hey, wanna show your support of Martin's artist endeavors?

[00:15:21] Buy me a coffee as an online site that makes supporting Marty easy. In just a few taps, you can make a payment of any amount and no account is needed. You can also decide to become an ongoing supporter. Go to martinmccormack. com and click on the words Support Martin. Let's help Martin keep it all capital.

[00:16:08] When I was a kid, it lived under my bed. When I was older, it lived in my closet.

[00:16:20] Nowadays, it likes to live in my hand. There's just no way I can dodge it. Fear is a friend and a foe. Fear is with me wherever I go, we know. Fear, a foe but a friend. And it's gonna be with me to the end. I'll be there whenever If there's something new, it holds me back If there's a change, it gets real mad

[00:17:06] When I wanna leap, it attacks How can something so good be so bad, dear? Fear is a friend and a foe. Fear is with me wherever I go, we know. Fear, a foe but a friend. And it's gonna be with me to the end, I fear.

[00:18:03] See it lives in you when I look in your eyes Let's work together and find a way

[00:18:14] To get over our fear and through its lies And finally make our fear obey Fear is a friend and a foe Fear

[00:18:33] is with me wherever I go Fear, a foe, but a friend And it's gonna be with me to the end Fear, is a friend and a foe Fear, is with me wherever I go Fear, a foe, but a friend And it's gonna be with me to the end And it's going to be with me to the end, I pray. And

[00:19:44] we're back after that little break. Are you, uh, did you grow up around here or, you know, we're, we're, tell us a little bit about your background. I'm a lifelong, uh, Chicago Landian. I'm from Skokie originally, lived in Chicago for a while, so I can't call myself a Chicago person. Um, uh, but right now, uh, we are here in Lombard because I'm, uh, I'm living with my oldest daughter, who is a doctoral candidate at Midwestern University.

[00:20:15] Down the street from here. Fantastic. So we're living here to be close to her school. Sure. Uh, but yeah, I grew up in, in Skokie, I lived all of my life, um, within a hundred miles of Lake Michigan. Mm-Hmm. . And whether it's in the suburbs or I went to school in Indiana, in Bloomington, Indiana. Um, but I started, uh, my career as a writer, uh, really in, in high school.

[00:20:40] Okay. I was, um, I remember very distinctly. Which is unusual for me, because my memory usually is terrible. Um, due to this mental decline of mine. Uh, but I remember one day, uh, before school started, my friends and I always gathered in this one room, the English Resource Center. Okay. And we stayed there for half an hour before school started, just to meet and to, to, to gather and whatever.

[00:21:07] And I, just on a lark, sat down at the typewriter of the, person who runs the English Resource Center and just started typing a, uh, a funny newscast. Right. And, you know, involving all of my friends. Like, you know, Seth was found dead at a blah, blah, blah. And it's, you know, and I wrote it in the stream of consciousness kind of thing.

[00:21:32] Great. In the, in the, in the cadence of a, of a, of a newscast. And, uh, my friends and I were all in the theater in high school. So one of the, um, One of the theater people came behind me and started reading it like a newscaster. And everybody was laughing and it was just hysterical. And it was just this thing I did, you know, on a lark.

[00:21:52] Mm hmm. It was at that moment that I'm sure I caught this writing bug and, uh, uh, just started to, to write, uh, not only college, uh, high school and college essays as needed, but also poetry on, on my own and, and, uh, some short stories and stuff like that, which I have since then looked at and it's all terrible, but you know, but in the high school mind, it's like, Oh, this is the greatest thing I've ever written.

[00:22:20] Brilliant. Yeah. Way before AI, too. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and so then I went to college and, uh, was an English major. And in every class where I took, they had, where there was a final that was, you know, do a presentation to the class or write a 20 page paper, which, you know, nobody ever did. And that's why it was 20 pages, because I don't want, the teacher didn't really ever want to read a 20 page paper.

[00:22:47] Sure. But I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll do that. That's easy. Great. Yeah. For example, I took advertising and, uh, the introduction to advertising and, uh, the final exam for that class was to, to do a advertising pitch. Sure. Of, you know, whatever. Or write a 20 page paper, like nobody wrote the paper because everybody was in marketing and wanted to do the same thing.

[00:23:09] Right, get out there and pitch. Right, so I wrote a 20 page paper on the ethics of advertising. And I, you know, I quoted Socrates and Aristotle and talked about how truly atrocious it was, all the things we learned in that class. That year, like creating a fancy need, which is how the people that invented underarm deodorant made sure by like, it doesn't matter if you smell, but oh my God, you smell, you have to fix that people are going to hate you.

[00:23:39] Yeah. So therefore you need to buy our product is under a hundred pound urine. Yeah. I mean that advertising, uh, I, I did marketing advertising, um, uh, my college and, uh, yeah, you learned. That it's, um, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's, uh, maybe in some ways it's, it's, uh, honest in the sense that they're being dishonest.

[00:24:03] Right. You know. Yeah. I mean, there are literally laws about how far they can go with their dishonesty and they always go right up to the wall. Right. You know, I remember I saw a, a, uh, an advertisement for a, a, uh, a razor for the, for shaving. And it said, number one in overall satisfaction. That means absolutely nothing.

[00:24:26] Absolutely nothing. It wasn't even that. It was number one in overall performance. Oh wow, even better. Even, even less. Right. And I, and I was thinking to myself, what does that mean? You know, and, and of course, how ironic I ultimately went into advertising as my career, uh, because as a, as a professional writer, there are only so many things somebody can do.

[00:24:45] I mean, Stephen King is a novelist and I can maybe name five more off So I wasn't going to become a famous novelist. Is that what you, were you hoping, you know, I would become, uh, like a writer like Stephen King or, or, or, you know, uh, let's not disparage advertising too much because one of the great challenges of advertising is coming up with something that's fresh and novel and, and, you know, You are trying to sway people, you know, but was that your goal?

[00:25:20] Whether you're thinking, Oh, I'm going to be the next great American novelist. Or were you like, yeah, what was your feeling? I started several novels. I never finished any, so I kind of gave up on that, on that dream. And I, and I went into advertising and, and, and enjoy it for all the reasons you just said, you know, creating.

[00:25:38] Creating an eight word phrase that fits in this box right here that makes me want to act and do a thing is actually a great challenge. It is. And so I've taken it up, and I have. I have stuck to my guns several times. For example, I was at Leo Burnett, uh, for a while. And the, uh, the account manager came up to me one day and said, Hey, listen, we would like you to be on the Philip Morris account.

[00:26:02] And I'm like, yeah, I don't know if I can do that. That's. pushing my limits. So ultimately I turned that down, uh, to the detriment of my career, actually. I mean, they pay more. You're on a, on that account, you have a separate contract, you're in a secluded area and you know, you ultimately aren't allowed to talk to anybody, including your relatives about the work you do there.

[00:26:24] So the deal with the devil. Exactly. So I ultimately, you know, I, I stuck to my guns, uh, pretty good. Yeah. With regard to that. Um, but yeah, so, you know, when a, uh, when a art director comes up to me and says, we have to come up with a tagline right now, it's, it's, it's due in three hours, help, we need eight words.

[00:26:44] That's actually kind of fun. It is. You know, it gets you going. So, I've, I have definitely enjoyed my career, uh, in writing. Painting tells stories. And so it seems that, uh, you know, going into painting and, uh, for a person with cognitive decline, geez, I'd like to, I'd like to have seen you when you didn't have any.

[00:27:08] I mean, you're, you're pretty, you know, you're, you know, uh, you're, you're with it. So do you have your good days and bad days? Yeah, indeed. Is that kind of how it works with it? Absolutely. I, I've, I've been, uh, trepidatious about this. This interview itself because am I going to have, am I going to be stumbling over my words or not?

[00:27:29] So far so good. Right, but I didn't know which way it was going to go. And you know, and that's exactly the way it happens. Sometimes things are great. Sometimes things are not, uh, you know. When that happens though, you don't have to worry about that when you're painting, right? No, I mean I'm using a different part of my brain to that effected.

[00:27:50] So I, I get in, I, I am very familiar about getting into flow, you know, where everything else disappears and you're concentrating on. The thing that you're doing right. And it seems to, you know, things seem to come through you as opposed to you coming up with stuff and doing it. Uh, so I'm very, very familiar with that idea, right.

[00:28:12] When I, when I was writing early in my career, and I get in that, that same, uh, zone Sure. When I'm painting and, and get, you know, really, and it, and it's interesting because in a painting you are dealing with this canvas that is. Contained in a space. Yeah, it's finite. Right, and when you're writing, that's not the case.

[00:28:33] The entire world is possible, and as a matter of fact, you can create a world that's as large as you want it to be. Um, and you can also create a world in a painting, but it has to fit within your canvas. Unless you do a series, and I've done that as well, where I have several canvases that make up a series of stuff.

[00:28:51] Nice. Um, but, you know, you can get really close in on a detail on, you can spend an hour on one leaf. Yeah. And just focus on it and get it to be exactly, you know, what you want it to be. Um, and that's also true of writing, you know, I am a big fan of Charles Dickens, he's my favorite author. Yeah. I did an independent study in college.

[00:29:19] When I was an English major about, about Dickens. And the thing that's really amazing about him is that you look at any, you take any page of any book that he's written, take it completely out of context and look at the sentences and they're beautiful. Yeah. Every single one of them is a masterclass in how to use punctuation, grammar, uh, and.

[00:29:44] Idioms and, and just, uh, imagery. Yeah, he, he, he delivers, uh, a line or a story. I mean, he's, he's being very, very deliberate. Very deliberate, every single word, every single word has been poured over. There's no question. Yeah. The way, and, and, and Shakespeare is the same way, obviously, and even more so, because he's working like a painter on a canvas within a structure.

[00:30:12] Right. Right. So he has his limitations, so you know, yeah. So very, that's a great observation, um, because writing, uh, I can see how this, uh, the art would flow from the writing, you know, that, uh, and, and even though in your case it was, You know, purely by accident to purely by an illness. Um, and, uh, we're going to take one more break.

[00:30:42] And then when we come back, we're going to talk a little more about your art for the rest of this podcast. We are with Kenny Dark. Hello,

[00:30:56] this is Polly Chase presenting artwork by Martin McCormick. This painting, titled Dude, features a mountain range that holds a special place in Marty's heart. On the canvas, which measures 20 by 24, we see the Tetons rising in the hazy distance of a view from an abandoned dude ranch just outside Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

[00:31:21] Near Marty's parents old place, the cool blues and violets of the background complement the buttery yellow foreground. These colors pass the viewer's attention back and forth along the horizontal plane, while the decaying Model T sinks into that scrubby landscape from which the majestic peaks punch upward along the vertical plane.

[00:31:47] It's a quiet yet very moving scene, both artistically and visually. and emotionally. It pulls the imagination into a human story waiting to be told. One witnessed by rock that is millions of years old. To explore this painting and more of Marty's artwork, go to martinmccormick. com.

[00:32:14] We're in our final bit for this podcast today and we're going to be doing another podcast with Kenny. And, uh, one of the questions that I, I wanted to ask you about is, what is your favorite color? Purple. Yeah. It's very simple and I, and I don't know why it is, uh, but it's always been my favorite color ever since I was a young kid.

[00:32:40] I remember distinctly, uh, um, getting a pair of, um, purple Chuck Taylor high tops. It's Oh, interesting. And I wore them every single day for years. Yeah. And, you know, and again, this was back when I was a kid, so this was, you know, 30, no, this was 40 years ago. It wasn't easy, like it is now, to get a pair of purple Charlie Taylor All Star high tops.

[00:33:12] Yeah. Because there was no internet. And you couldn't necessarily just find the converse, where would you, where would you go? So I had to sleuth around and make phone calls and use the phone book and find out where I could find them. And I tracked him down and got him and, uh, here are my favorite shoes.

[00:33:30] And, uh, I have another pair now, so purple, you know, uh, just looking at your paintings in this room and, uh, and for those of you that are listening to the podcast, uh, every one of Kenny's paintings in this room with has some shade of purple and it's, it's beautiful. I think purple is a calming color, right?

[00:33:53] And, uh, and it's, it's a color that, um, that most people look at and. It's calming in the sense that it's either dawn or it's dusk. That kind of feeling, that time of the day when you're already, you're, you're, you're in that, uh, REM, you know, state. Um, and you have an, uh, an awesome, uh, beautifully done, uh, picture of the Baha'i.

[00:34:20] Yeah. And, uh, with, uh A beautiful purple sky and, uh, the, it's, it's, it's also washing over the Bahá'í. And, um, when you choose a subject, how do you choose it? Does it choose you or are you just like Yeah. That's a great question. Um, I do, I think about Claude Monet a lot because he painted what he saw around him, whether it was his own garden at Caverni or, or somewhere else that he was sitting with his easel.

[00:34:58] Uh, that's one of the reasons I love looking at his paintings, because he is literally sitting there painting this thing, and now you're looking at what he was looking at. Yeah. And so I try to, um, recreate that, in that I will look around the places where I live and work, and usually in the city of Chicago, and say, I love that building, I'm going to paint that building.

[00:35:24] Or, you know, look at those, uh, CTA L trains go by. They're amazing. You're right. Uh, and I, you know, and the Baha'i temple, I I've driven by that a hundred million times in my lifetime. And every time that I do on Sheridan drive there, I just, I stare at it and marvel how absolutely beautiful it is.

[00:35:44] Magnificent. Right. And so. You know, when I look at something that isn't beautiful, like the Baha'i Temple, I still see it that way, because the way I see the world is in,

[00:36:03] in parts. Okay. So if I'm looking at a building, most people would look at the building and say, that's a building. Right. I look at a building and I say, look at those windows that are squares that are on top of each other. So, so geometrically perfectly. Is this something that, uh, had to do with the illness or is this just the way you've always perceived life?

[00:36:24] Always the way I've perceived the world around me. That's fascinating. And I try to capture it in my paintings in that way. That I see, I don't know that I see colors that aren't there necessarily because that would be weird, but I, I definitely see patterns. Okay. And, um, there are certainly the architect who built these buildings did that on purpose.

[00:36:51] Okay. Sure. Made sure, I mean, they don't just put the windows anywhere, they put them in the line. And then, there's a small one and a big one, and a small one and a big one. And then, that was just something that they worked on. When they were sitting down at their desk, drafting out this thing, they said, I'm gonna put a little bit of interest in my building, even though it's just a regular building.

[00:37:07] I mean, I'm looking right outside the window right here. at the apartment building across the way there. And it's an ugly white brick building with gray paneling. It's horrendously ugly. It's utilitarian for sure. It's utilitarian. That's a great way of putting it. But, uh, even in the utilitarian ness of it, there are still, there's a window that's cut in two with a, a, You know, being coming down and the shades are pulled down exactly that way.

[00:37:36] And then right above that is a great and right above that is another window. That's just like it. And then a great. And so it's a beautiful little pattern. So when you look at that, let's say, you're seeing those patterns. Are you seeing, in your mind, are you saying, wow, that's beautiful? Indeed. And that's what I try to do when I recreate my paintings of just regular buildings.

[00:38:00] I mean, yes, the Baha'i Temple is a beautiful building and regardless of how I painted it, it would have been great. But I have a painting of, you know, of the Madison skyline, Madison, Wisconsin skyline, a gas station, a fire house. I have another painting of a post office and you know, not only did I blow the colors out to make just, you know, to throw it in the viewer's face that this is beautiful, even though you don't think it is, you know, the, the brick on the building is really interesting and they're not exact.

[00:38:32] They're not exactly the same shape and size and they, they, They, they create a pattern only in a larger sense. Um, and you know, and the glass window of this building is really pretty and the things that are inside. And so I, I paint that and make it interesting. What has changed for you now that you are a visual artist first, a writer second, still a writer, you know, if you can do that, that way, um, you're a writer that, uh, uh, very few people.

[00:39:03] You are able to say, Hey, I'm practicing my art and eating from it, um, and, but you are, but you have this. So what has changed for you now that you are a visual artist first? Well, I'll tell you, there's two things. The first is that, um, the way I approach art is different because when I went, when I write something and put it out in the world, I can give it away, but I can still read it anytime I want.

[00:39:37] So if I write a poem and I give it to somebody, they've, they say, thank you. This is beautiful. Thank you. This is great. Right. And I, you know, and I've done my job as an artist putting the art out into the world and, and trying to, to change minds or, or just soothe the soul. But I can always come back and read that painting that, that, that poem piece.

[00:39:56] Yeah. It still belongs to me. Right. But when I paint a painting. And I give it to somebody, it's gone. I can only look at a picture of it and a picture and a picture of a painting is great, but it doesn't, it's not the same. Right. Um, absolutely. It's like giving a child away. And so, you know, that aspect of art is, it's difficult.

[00:40:19] I honestly, it pains me to sell my paintings and I, and I, you know, and I, and I don't paint. So that I can make money. Because that would be a disaster. If I started this saying I'm only going to paint, if I, you know, make money on it, that would be horrifying. Because I've sold, like I said, I've sold, you know, a third of all the paintings I've ever painted.

[00:40:42] And really all I've made from it is enough money to buy more supplies. More supplies. Right. But that's an important point to make and we should delve into that even more on the next podcast. Because this is, um It's a labor of love, right? Pointing out beauty. That's right. Pointing out color, pointing out this, uh, it's, it's such a hard, that in and of itself is hard because there's only so many Mondays.

[00:41:10] Right. Right. And even though you, you want to be that you, or maybe I'm putting words into your mouth. How do you want to be remembered then? Yeah, that's a, that's a really great question. Um, I believe the artist's job is to tell the truth. And so if I'm remembered as somebody who has presented his view of the world in the things that I've written and in the things that I've painted, then I will die a happy guy.

[00:41:45] Um, so do I want to be remembered as an, as a writer or a painter? I would like to be remembered as an artist. Uh, and regardless of what, you know, there are lots of, People out there that can do more than one thing. You watch a movie and, you know, Ryan Gosling all of a sudden is playing the piano and dancing and singing.

[00:42:09] Right. How did he learn to do that? So, you know, people have lots of, of, of different talents that come through or don't. And, you know, and it's, it's very sad when somebody has artistic talent and they, you know, And they aren't allowed to express it, or can't express it for some reason, or don't know that they're an artist.

[00:42:30] There are so many people out there that are artists that have no idea. Because, would I have known that I was a painter if my friend Annie had not said, Hey, let's go to this thing? Yeah. I probably wouldn't. Right. And that's that's the the fickle hand of fate in some ways, right? That that we all are Beholden to.

[00:42:53] One last question before we finish this thing up with this podcast. What I haven't heard you say is, you know, I I had the chemotherapy Aphasia, you know, it's affecting me. There are good days, bad days. Are you the kind of person that takes something like that and you say, okay, I'm going to use it to my advantage, or are you the kind of person that's going to be like saying, I had this happen to me, and now I'm going to use it to bring everybody in.

[00:43:31] There's that route, or are you just like, you know, I'm Kenny Dark Poet Lappins. I have this and look at my paintings. Right. Yeah, no, I, um, it certainly opened my eyes. Having, having been that close to my own mortality made me look at my life and say, you know, am I doing the things right? Am I satisfied with, with what I'm doing?

[00:43:58] Um, and, uh, it also has, uh, gotten me involved with an organization called Twist Out Cancer. Which is a, I'm on the advisory board of this organization that provides emotional and social support. To cancer survivors and people that, that are caregivers for cancer. Uh, and they have a, a, uh, program called brushes with cancer in which they pair an artist with an inspiration and the inspiration tells the artist, their little cancer story.

[00:44:33] Uh, you know, I, I, I had this and it affected me in this way, or I cared for my husband who ultimately died of cancer and here's what it makes me feel. And the artist then creates a piece of art based on that. Wow. Fun. Uh, and, and intriguing as, as well. Right. Totally unique. And, you know, the, the, the, the inspiration gets support through the interaction with the artist.

[00:44:59] They get to tell their story, they get to unload, you know, things that might be bothering them and, and just the connections with people is ironic. Let me tell you a little twist of fate, um, about. 15 years ago, no, about 12 years ago, I was working for a pro bono organization called Epic, which was, um, uh, an organization that got, uh, agency creatives in Chicago involved in pro bono projects for organizations that could not otherwise afford to work with Leo Burnett or Orville V to come up with their, their marketing materials.

[00:45:39] And the project that I was assigned to was this new organization called Twist Out Cancer. Mm. And one of my jobs was to come up with a tagline for the organization. And so I thought about it for a while and I came up with Share, connect, heal. 'cause that's what you do. You share your story, you connect with your artist, and you, I love it.

[00:45:59] By doing that Heal. So right to the point. And that's what they, you know, to this day use as their tagline. So I, you know, I've, I've melded both my writing and my art painting, uh, in this one organization and it really gives me a lot of. I've done it for five or six years now as both an artist and an inspiration in different years.

[00:46:21] And it just is a tremendous way to, to give back. And I think that's what's really important is that each of us has some skillset that nobody else has because each of us is there is a unique individual, and if you give back what you have in whatever way is comfortable to you, um, To help others that is what the ultimate goal of life should be it is isn't it?

[00:46:52] I mean it that's the only way for me that life makes sense, right? Otherwise You know, I would run screaming. Right. Um, right. So I, I've been getting, you know, I've been given the ability to, to write things that affect people one way or the other, and you know, whether that's looking at a billboard that they see my tagline on, uh, but also, uh, I create paintings and to me it's actually, even though I was a writer for, you know, 40 years and a painter for 11, painting is much more intimate to me because I am literally showing you what's in my heart on this little canvas here.

[00:47:34] Now, I guess that's the same as As a writer showing what's in their heart on a printed page, but I believe like I was saying that, you know, giving a painting away, giving is like giving away a child. It just feels so much more intimate. The relationship, you know, I've been standing at galleries. When I'm having a show with somebody who's asking me a question about my painting, we're both looking at it and I'm realizing, wow, we're talking about this piece of art here that I created.

[00:48:02] How bizarre is that? Well, yeah, with art, with visual art, you're in the moment forever. Yeah, as opposed to music or, you know, live music especially where the whole idea is you perform, it goes off into the ether and we shared this thing. And, and with writing, you know, I mean, writing, it's different, it's different, because, you know, you have to read what you have, uh, somebody has to read what you have put down, and it's always coming in with a different kind of voice or whatever, their interpretation, but when you look at canvas, you're in the moment, you know?

[00:48:39] Right, and you're looking at the same, like I was saying about Monet, you're looking at the exact same thing that he was looking at, you know, 150 years ago when he painted this thing. Right. And you're looking at it the way he saw it, right? So he's putting you in his shoes. And that's a lot of what I do with my painting is that I try to people put people in my place that, you know, when you're looking at a CTA train, It's not just an ugly gray train.

[00:49:02] It's this beautiful piece of engineering that has these little squares that are really nice. And sometimes the sun catches it in such a way that there's a glare and, you know, and just for a moment, it has a little yellow tint to it. So, you know, I appreciate that. Appreciate the things that you look at.

[00:49:18] When you are looking at both art and the real world, because they're both the same. Well, we're going to wrap up this podcast and head into the second podcast with Kenny Dark Poet Lappins. And I want to thank you so much for letting me into your home. Um, and, uh, also, uh, showing the art we're going to, uh, for the.

[00:49:41] People watching this on YouTube, you'll be able to see the arts, uh, you know, and bits and pieces as we go through these things. For those of you that listen to this, uh, I really suggest you go to Kenny's website and check out some of this beautiful art. It's, it's really, um, it's, it's really, if you're into purple.

[00:50:01] This man's your artist. So, um, we'll be back with our next podcast with Kenny next week, but for now, we'll see you later. Thanks for watching. Bye bye. And we're done for that one. And, uh, do you need any break or anything? You're doing great. Thank you for listening. For more information about this show or a transcript, visit martinmccormack.

[00:50:27] com. While there, you're welcome. Sign up for our newsletter. See you next time on Strung Out It So Wrong Spain we feel makes no sense at all. The Swan song was a part of the deal was no good Call Giving out choice, giving us that.