Strung Out Episode 231: RESPECT PERSPECTIVE with Marcus Gentry

In this insightful episode of Strung Out, host Martin Laurence McCormack engages in a compelling conversation with Marcus Gentry, a renowned performer, actor, and professional speaker known as Dr. Respect. Marcus shares his journey from growing up on the East Coast and in the South to becoming a sought-after motivational speaker. The discussion delves into his family's missionary work, the significance of respect in personal and professional life, and the impactful lessons his parents taught him. Marcus elaborates on the true meaning of respect, its misinterpretation in today's society, and the importance of self-respect. This episode also introduces 'The Respect Perspective,' a segment dedicated to exploring the multifaceted concept of respect and its relevance in modern times. Join us for an enriching dialogue that offers a fresh outlook on how respect shapes our interactions and society.  You can learn more about Mr. Gentry by visiting https://www.marcusgentry.com/

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Strung Out, the podcast that looks at life through the lens of an artist. Your host is the artist, writer, and musician, Martin Laurence McCormack. Now here's Marty. We are on Strung Out and, uh, it's been a while, but I wanted to start the year right because we are In need of some wisdom. And so one of the people that I've had the pleasure of meeting is Marcus Gentry, who is not only a performer, actor, you wear those hats, but you're also this wonderful motivational speaker.

[00:00:39] You've been living, uh, you've been living, you walk the walk when it comes to, uh, lifting up people's spirits and inspiring them to move forward. And that's been a mission of yours for a long time. And, um, And I thought now would be a good thing to, uh, reintroduce you to people because geez, Marcus, we're, we're, we're still living in troubled times.

[00:01:03] Yeah, we are. Uh, and so, you know, let's start what, what I'd like to ask you, first of all, for our, our viewers, our listeners, um, fill in the, the gaps that I've put in, you know, with your life. Because I know you grew up down South and then you've been living in Chicago for a while. But you travel all around the world.

[00:01:26] So, take it from there. Who is Marcus Gentry and why are we having this conversation? Okay, very good. Um, I probably would rewind it a little bit. Sure. For living down south. Yeah. My birth home is Baltimore, Maryland. So, I'm east coast born from the beginning. Um, And we lived in Baltimore, Maryland where I began, we lived in Woonsocket, Rhode Island as a child, lived in Providence, Rhode Island as a child.

[00:01:53] And then we moved down to a very small town in Georgia, Thompson, Georgia. And that's where I went from probably teenage to manhood, uh, in a small southern town. What bounced you around? Was your dad like in business? Well, my mother and father were what I would call missionaries. Okay. So, they traveled extensively carrying mission work.

[00:02:18] Wow. And so, I, I traveled with them, so that's how we end up traveling quite a bit. My father has a history of military, uh, that's a part of his history, but that was not the cause of our travel. Wow. So, we would travel. traveling. Yeah. Doing that and uh, uh, my parents told me I would appreciate it later in life.

[00:02:41] So, I was raised as an only child and the reason why they said I would appreciate it later in life because I struggle so much with um, you can hear my dog. Yeah. Starting to come around. Uh I struggle so much with relocating. Yeah. Uh because I'm I'm the only uh child raised up that way at least and I love Having company.

[00:03:02] So when I made bonds, those bonds were real and tight for me. So moving was traumatic and I was very bashful and it took me a while to build relationships, but when I built them, they were solid bonds and they were very tight. So anyway, the moving was traumatic and they told me that, well, It's difficult now, but later on, you'll always know people at different parts of the world, different parts of the states, and you'll be able to travel to go see them.

[00:03:31] And so anyway, in, uh, Georgia for a period of time, and then moved to Chicago. Wow. And I moved to Chicago, that was in 76. And I was gonna be here for about a year. And that was in 1976. And sometime, Sometimes that's, that's the way things go. So that's just my living journey, my travel journey. And Chicago is, uh, I mean, it's a good location for the fact that you can jump around the country, you know, but we're, we're not here to talk about so much the jumping around the country, which you do.

[00:04:05] But it's now starting to make a little more sense to me as far as how you became more of a motivation speaker and if your family came in from doing missionary work. Right. So you kind of grew up with the spark. I did. I watched my mother and father be mentors and coaches. It's wartime for you. You should like cut away to the good dog.

[00:04:32] I love it. Caper does the same thing. So we'll just, we'll just let, uh. This is a live guys. Yes. Yes. Yes, it is. Go ahead. Yes. So, um, I watched my father be mentors to many young boys, young men. I watched my mother be a mentor and a coach to Many young girls and, and women. So I saw that as an example, not knowing that that was necessarily what I was going to do or what I'm going to end up doing, but it was comfortable watching them have the discipline of study and research and, and helping inspire people, um, just became a part of my growing up experience.

[00:05:14] So it wasn't difficult for me to transition. that on my own. Right. And then I moved into that and I, so I would say as a professional speaker and I, I've kind of moved to, I've kind of, but I moved away from the, the term motivational speaker because cause. Um, I don't consider myself as someone just to motivate people, even though they may feel motivated at the end of it, but what I really like to do is give people, um, who are interested in getting a close look at where they are examining and maybe learning some strategies or tips to help them manage to get from where they are to where they would like to be.

[00:06:01] There's a lot of weird terms out there like life coach and things like that. Um, for the sake of our, our, uh, going forward, what would you like to be referred to as? Just from my own edification. I, I, I think, I think the term as a speaker, um, professional speaker. Professional speaker. I, I, I think that. Kind of covers a lot of it covers a lot of territory covers a lot of um, and and i'm i'm known In certain educational circles as dr.

[00:06:28] Respect. So what I thought of as a grand title would be the respect perspective We'll call it the respect perspective. It's a lot better than when I came up with That was a great one. That was a great one I'm gonna i'm glad because I was thinking driving down here. I was like thinking. Okay, we're gonna have to change that I'm gonna have to come up with something but You I, you know, and that, that's, uh, just so the, uh, folks, uh, can understand Sure.

[00:06:53] As doctor respect. Right. Right. You, you've gone to a lot of schools. You've gone to a lot of various groups. Right, right, right. And so, uh, and, and that, you know, that's been something you've been doing now for how many years? Oh, man. Three, four decades. I've been saying three decades for a long time. Wow. So it's probably about four decades, a long time that I have been.

[00:07:16] Doing what I do and I embrace the concept of respect. Um, that's probably been about three decades ago. And so I've expanded that. So that's, that's not, that's not just a buzzword for me. It really means something. I have. Principles that I teach from the respect perspective. All right. Um, that's a good place to start because, um, respect is a very, uh, heavy charged word, right?

[00:07:49] It is misunderstood often. I would say too. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, and you know, you, you hear people say, well, you know, he, you know, uh, disrespected me or whatever when used in, uh, uh, uh, You know that that way it takes on like um, it's a negative connotation Yes, as a matter of fact exactly and to your point many people so when I get an opportunity to talk about it I talk about the misunderstanding when it comes with respect.

[00:08:22] So some people think of respect as obedience So if you don't do what I say, then you're not respecting me, but that's obedience. That's not respect and as I Heard and examined, explained. If we just really took the word divided and, and, and dug deeper for an understanding and with the spec part of it, it comes from the root of spectacle mean to look at, or to look into like spectator or inspect things of that sort.

[00:08:51] And the re means to do again. So if we look at it from that perspective, it means to relook at something. And then if it also means to hold in high value. So. When I talk about the respect perspective, I mean, re looking at ourselves first from four different directions, re looking at ourselves, respect, re looking at others, respect for others, re looking at the environment, um, whatever that environment is, whether it's the physical environment, the social environment, the social climate, re looking at that and re looking at the process to get from where you are to where you would like to be.

[00:09:33] So what, how did that come about where you chose respect as the word to, to describe your mission? It came from my very first trip to Jamaica. Oh. My very first trip to Jamaica and at the time, I remember, um, meeting some men, some Jamaicans that were there and them using the word and they began talking to me about the meaning of it.

[00:10:00] And actually. What happened, I, I, I was, I was married at the time and, and I introduced a guy that I was talking to, to my wife and the first thing he said was respect. But I noticed that that was a term that they used in greeting everyone that they came in contact with. Interesting. Yeah. So it, it was, that's what it was to me.

[00:10:21] Interesting. Yeah. So it made me wonder. Let me examine more about what respect is, and it felt right. And as I've gotten older, I find that I should sit with the things that feel good and see if they have a home, a deeper place. Deeper place of, of, of residency. And so the idea, the thought, the feeling, the concept of respect sat with me a little bit more.

[00:10:50] And I started examining and studying. And there was a, there was a guy, I did it so much, talked about it so much. So when I came back, I started greeting everybody. With the greetings of respect and so much so that this barbershop that I used to go to yeah, there was a guy in there. He rest in peace. I think his name was shin over and he started calling me Dr.

[00:11:09] Respect because that was what I always talked about on some level. Respect for self, respect for others, and respect for our environment. Yeah. He was the one who named me Dr. Rich. I didn't name myself. He named me that and it stuck. Yeah, I think, well, that's, uh, it's a good name, you know, because, uh, uh, you are, you've studied, you've become so, uh, well versed at this.

[00:11:36] And, uh, thank you for explaining about the word respect because, um, and I think we can keep turning that word over and over, you know, as we go forward with our future conversations because respect, we are living in an age, uh, now that, uh, we should know better maybe does that seem the right way to say it?

[00:12:02] Because I mean, I was, I was thinking about that, you know, um, uh, just the, the notion of like here we are, we have, and I'm, I'm thinking from a historical context, the idea that, you know, we've, as a, even as a country, as a people, you know, we've gone through a lot of stuff. You know, um, where we have tried to reach respect, the civil rights movement and, uh, all the other, uh, you know, um, what's going on with the LGBTQA and, uh, And so much conversation about equity and inclusion.

[00:12:40] That's diversity. That's been a bunch of word, right? The fact that people, uh, you know, uh, are looking for respect for just basic needs like, uh, financial care, uh, uh, healthcare, right? Um, the recent incident kind of around that, it wasn't in the news, right? You know, yes. To the front where the, uh, the, the guy killed the C manni, you know, killed, uh, Brian Thompson, uh, the, the CEO of United.

[00:13:08] Health murdered him, right? And I was also thinking respect in today that we're doing this podcast, uh, in France, uh, the, uh, uh, I believe her name is Louise, uh, political, uh, that the rape trial in which she was drugged. And, uh, uh, by her husband and sexually abused by about, uh, twenty six different men. I'm not familiar with that case.

[00:13:33] Oh, yeah. It's horrible. It's, yeah. And she, she was brave enough to, uh, uh, uh, get on, um, she said, I'm not going to be anonymous. Okay. And she was, they knew, people knew who she was and she became kind of this, she is this heroine of, uh, you know, men and women need to. Respect each other. That was the upshot of what her, you know, to paraphrase her statement today.

[00:14:01] And, um, I'm thinking about all the stuff that's, uh, on the same stuff that's going on. Now coming out of the woodwork with Hollywood, with Diddy, all those things. So there's, we're living in an era where, like I said, we should know better. Right. Yeah. And you know, something, the truth is, I, I think many people, the issue, I don't believe is knowing because that would assume that knowledge is power.

[00:14:29] And that's a, that's also a buzzword, but I believe that knowledge is not power until you do something with it. So I, what I heard. Years ago, and I didn't coin this and didn't say it first, is that if everybody who said they wanted respect, they wanted peace, they wanted nonviolence, actually meant and believed that, then we would have those things.

[00:14:51] So a lot of people use the language, they know what they could do, or in some cases should do. But the desire and the willingness to follow through with doing it is where things fall short. And I think a lot of us know what we should or shouldn't do in terms of, man, so many things. Treating people a certain way, exercise, eating.

[00:15:13] So many things we know even on smaller levels that we should do but we may not do. That's interesting you're bringing that up because what you, again, You know, I always thought, you know, respect is the idea that you respect me. I respect you. But what you're saying is I, I have to respect yourself, yourself, self respect.

[00:15:38] As a matter of fact, I use what I call the universal symbol, which is this symbol right here. of respect, which basically means that I respect myself first and then I respect you because they also say you've got to give respect to get it not necessarily true because there are some people who you will give respect to and they will still not honor, acknowledge, or even respect you because of who they are.

[00:16:06] So when we embody the, the spirit of Spirit and the idea of respect ourselves, then respect is where we are when we show up, where we show up regardless of what somebody else is doing or not doing. So I'm going to give you respect because of who I am and who I am says that I respect myself and I respect others.

[00:16:28] That's because of who I am, not because of something that you did or did not do. So it's, uh, it, it automatically by default comes. Two people, if they are respect themselves, well, you always hear the term, you know, uh, you know, did you earn those people's respect? That's right. That's right. You know, that's right.

[00:16:49] And in some ways that's a real, you know, that's a false flag. I mean, the, the idea is, it is because if I don't like you, then there's nothing that you can do to earn my acknowledgement of my honor, respect of you as a, as a human. If for some reason I've got some kind of unconscious bias or conscious bias or, or just some form of dislike because of misunderstanding or lack of desire to understand.

[00:17:21] So no matter what you do, you will never be able to do enough with some people. Uh, that's why it has to begin in the mirror. Uh, as I say, look in the mirror before you look through the glass. Are you, are you showing up a certain way? Well, let's, let's take a little break. We are with Marcus Gentry. This is, uh, uh, a new, uh, venture that I'm hoping that we can keep, um, putting out there, uh, and it's, we're going to call it the respect perspective.

[00:17:51] I like that. Uh, looking at respect, something that's in a big need. These days. Absolutely. So we'll be back after just a short break. Your hands strung out. You and I look in your eyes.

[00:18:08] Let's work together and find a way

[00:18:14] to get over, up and through his lives. And finally.

[00:18:30] The is with me whenever I go know,

[00:18:40] but friend and it's going

[00:18:50] is a friend and a

[00:18:56] is with me whenever I go.

[00:19:02] A foe but a friend And it's gonna be with me to the end Ah, yeah

[00:19:44] We are with Kenny, Dark Poet Lavens, and we are on air. Hello, this is Polly Chase presenting artwork by Martin McCormick. This painting, titled Dude, features a mountain range that holds a special place in Marty's heart. On the canvas, which measures 20 by 24, we see the Tetons rising in the hazy distance of a view from an abandoned dude ranch just outside Jackson Hole, Wyoming, near Marty's parents old place.

[00:20:20] The cool blues and violets of the background complement the buttery yellow foreground. These colors pass the viewer's attention back and forth along the horizontal plane, while the decaying Model T sinks into that scrubby landscape from which the majestic peaks punch upward along the vertical plane.

[00:20:44] It's a quiet yet very moving scene, both artistically and emotionally. It pulls the imagination into a human story waiting to be told. One witnessed by rock that is millions of years old. To explore this painting and more of Marty's artwork, go to martinmccormick. com.

[00:21:10] We're back and, uh, for our second section here, and what I want to bring up to, uh, Marcus, ask a question, and that is, is that, uh, we went through the definition of respect in the last bit, but is it safe to say that we are living in a world where people don't have a good idea of what respect is, or, uh, you know, the, for example, uh, There's a lot of distractions out there.

[00:21:47] Let me just start you there about distractions like social media and things like that. Can you expound a little bit on that because I think that's something we need to be aware of. Right. There are distractions and there are, are, Many of the distractions have been glorified to become models for people to follow.

[00:22:08] So when we talk about people not having respect, I think I mentioned to you before talking about Peter Block, who says that we have to be able to know what we can say yes to before we can start talking about how to do certain things. So, first thing he says, do you say yes that I have a desire to want to, To see myself differently.

[00:22:32] I want to see the world. And so you've got distractions that have projected images. You mentioned us having a, uh, a person who was recognized on reality television, but it was now the president of the United States. And I was saying, so what message does that deliver? Um, and there are people who follow that.

[00:22:53] There are people who we see on television, getting awards and rewards who we would say. Maybe that's not the way you should live or carry yourself, but they're getting rewarded and getting awards for that sort of thing. So you have professional people pretending to be fake people and, and creating movies, doing things that have been scripted by the movie, um, theaters and, uh, or the, uh, the writers and directors.

[00:23:28] To portray a whole image of something and there are people who are living their life according to those images that they see um, and then they get rewards and awards for that and we talk about Well, let's have a real look at yourself. When you ask the question, do I have a desire to do that? Why? What's my incentive?

[00:23:46] What's my purpose for wanting to do that deep dive that you're talking about? Well, so, so we have the society in which, uh, uh, the idea of respect has been replaced by something that it has. And that so respect Has been replaced by what can you put a word on it? Do you think or is it I think it has been?

[00:24:13] Misclassified, okay, so I think people use that language to fit There's a popular clip that says put some respect on my name You know right from this one particular artist who was saying this to Uh, a talk show, um, a person who runs a talk show. So, so how have they defined the word respect as to what that actually means?

[00:24:41] Um, um, and it's usually not to relook at, uh, with honor. Uh, it usually does not mean to look carefully at self, look carefully at other people, look carefully at the environment and reexamine it for the sake of understanding, not just for the sake of. Of acknowledgement, but for the sake of understanding, um, and I, I think that's one thing that's missing in connection with respect.

[00:25:10] There's a lack of desire to understand another person's perspective and acknowledge that and adjust as need be to that. And there's less and less of that. I mean, since COVID, um, there seems to be less and less compassion, less and less understanding of somebody else, either in traffic or in a store or just.

[00:25:33] In the world period, there seems to be a lack of tolerance. And I think there's many reasons for that. Um, but I think a part of it is that, um, people aren't slowing down enough to consider somebody else's perspective. If they, people don't have an idea of what. Real respect is, and they have this sugar frosted kind of example being put out there to them.

[00:25:59] Um, is it safe to say that we're in a society now that has lost a rudder considering that People don't know what respect really is. How can you interact then, right? Because, uh, you know, we've talked about that, uh, that 26 year old, uh, guy, Manjioni shot that healthcare executive. Right. And, uh, I think, uh, you know, just in us talking, you said, you know, people are praising his actions as like, well, he got his, right.

[00:26:36] And there is no, Respect for human life or anything like that there. And it's been replaced by a guy saying, well, I'll just meet out justice because it's whatever works. And it seems that there has become another expression that's so common that it just is what it is, which I say that a lot of times it is what it is.

[00:27:06] Cause you did what you did or didn't do what you didn't do. So things usually have a beginning. They usually started from something they built from something. But if you're not willing to take the time to sit still long enough and not be distracted by everything or anything else and have the discipline to be still, then you're going to miss why things are what they are.

[00:27:31] Um, and I think that's, that's where the digging deep comes in. And this, many are just not comfortable. We've taken that deep dive because they don't know why it's necessary. I'm doing okay with that. Well, let's take a little break here and we're going to come back with our third part of this first podcast with speaker, uh, Marcus Gentry, Dr.

[00:27:55] Respect. We call this the respect perspective. And, uh, you are on strung out. We'll be back. Hey, want to show your support of Martin's artist endeavors? Buy me a coffee as an online site that makes supporting Marty easy. In just a few taps, you can make a payment of any amount and no account is needed. You can also decide to become an ongoing supporter, go to martinmccormack.

[00:28:23] com and click on the words support Martin. Let's help Martin keep it all capital.

[00:28:34] And, um, this is our, uh, first podcast in which we are going to, uh, spend time really building on the word respect. And so, um, I don't want to push things too far ahead. But we're giving everybody kind of an overview as far as respect and that we're, we're in a world that up to this point, um, uh, I would say respect was understood.

[00:29:07] Maybe not practiced, but understood. And now we're in a world where respect is not understood and for the most part, not practiced. Um, and the, the, you know, the common things are to, you know, the politics, uh, you know, that's a good example, entertainment. Um, and maybe that's one of the things is that, uh, entertainment is, uh, taken on such a more.

[00:29:38] Pronounced role. It has, you know, uh, what a man like Dr King and able to pull off what he did with all the other people that with the civil rights movement, you know, if he were living in, you know, This environment today could, I mean, is, is, uh, I'm trying to think of people that like, you know, uh, garner respect, you know, Martin Luther King Jr.

[00:30:09] comes to mind, uh, you know, maybe like Abraham Lincoln, you know, Mahatma Gandhi. These are people that, um, Mother Teresa, you know, there are people that, you know, that, uh, garner respect. Because they, they had an idea of who they are. Mm hmm. They did. And, and were prepared for the consequences of not being liked or appreciated.

[00:30:40] Because everybody that you mentioned were people who, um, even though media might have acknowledged them a certain way, there were still large populations of people who disagreed and did not support the path that they were on. Mm hmm. And some of them had some very unfortunate endings, you know, right? And Martin Luther King Jr.

[00:31:01] We know was assassinated April 4th of 68. Um, Gandhi, who was actually shot down and killed on his way to a peace, um, prayer. I believe it was. Um, so there are consequences that comes. with walking a particular path. Um, I think it's just a matter of what path do you choose to follow because there will always be multiple roads.

[00:31:30] That that's why when I talk about the way of respect or even, um, I'm grateful that you allow us to have a. A deeper discussion about it. I talk about four different areas. So respect for self is one. Getting to know who we are. Um, so that we can respect. The other one is respect for other people. Well, it's going to be difficult to respect someone that you don't know.

[00:31:56] That you don't understand. That you don't try. So that means we have to also have communication skills, which is something that I do a lot of work on the, um, the art of healthy relationships through quality communication and connections. And so if we're not willing to listen to each other with the intention of understanding, it's going to be difficult to respect someone else's perspective that's different.

[00:32:23] Then ours if it doesn't agree with what we have come to believe is ours. The third area of respect is respect for environment. So as environment changes, situations change and we may need to approach something different. So the environment that. Exist today is different than the environment with Dr. King or Mother Teresa or a Malcolm X or any of the other leaders who we might want to identify of times gone by we're in a different environment.

[00:32:55] So to read. Expect to relook at the environment physically, the social climate that exists, how then do we adapt so many of the problems come when we try to, um, um, make connections based on all information. Based on the old environment. So I'm trying to connect to people in this environment based on the way things were 10, 15, 20 years ago.

[00:33:20] And it doesn't work. There's a misconnection that happens. Right? So the last part of respect is respecting the process. And that's something that many people today, especially have moved so far away from because everything is about quick. How can you cut down the process? How can you streamline this? How quickly can we make something happen as opposed to how Thoroughly, can we do something?

[00:33:44] So there is something that's missed. When you eliminate the allowance of process time for things to be processed, whether it's watching something on TV and then processing what you saw and heard, uh, whether it's reading something and processing, experiencing something in life and processing it, building a relationship, the process that goes for that, even dismantling the lack of respected environments.

[00:34:16] There's a process that's involved. In doing that, that will only happen if there's a desire and there's a reason why it's important. We should leave it at that. But I, uh, want to, uh, add in because, uh, you had mentioned earlier talking to me that a person can go through life without respect, right?

[00:34:37] Absolutely. Absolutely. Without, without honoring or acknowledging someone. And there is someone who will support the behavior of someone no matter what choice they make. They make in life to do, but without respect, we really can't function as humans. It's, it's, it's the, the type of functioning that we have is what I would say less than what could be considered honorable.

[00:35:08] Because there are people who do function, um, and carry themselves with a lack of respect, but they are existing in society. They're functioning in society, but they, they're moving without necessarily having that characteristic of respect. I mean, what you're making me think about is, um, the fact that it seems like it's unrelated, but it's connected, is that they're Considering using drones.

[00:35:39] To make, um, uh, deadly attacks in war because it lacks the emotion to be able to do certain things. I was, I was going to use the term moral, uh, zombies kind of like for these, these people, um, that they, they can, they seem to be moving around and functioning, but yet, yet they're not. In touch with that feeling of humanity and they have a camaraderie.

[00:36:11] We got a lot to unpack with this podcast. The Respect Perspective. I want to thank you, Marcus, for your time. And we're going to be back with more of this around the kitchen table here. And, uh, thanks for watching and listening to strung out. We'll see you next time. Thank you for listening. For more information about this show or a transcript, visit martinmccormack.

[00:36:39] com while there sign up for our newsletter. See you next time on strung out.

[00:36:53] There's no sense at all. The swan song wasn't part of the deal, was no good call. Giving no choice, giving no ste