Patton: The Will Smith Effect

Helmets on, Void! We're taking cover behind this Sicilian rock while our fearless leader, Patton, takes wisdom from his past lives to plan our invasion of Italy! We're talking about the 1970 film "Patton" which explores the controversial career of one of WWII's most distinguished generals. Trust us, it's more controversial than you think. Between the first slap heard 'round the world (looking at you Will Smith), General Montgomery (Monty) being an aristocratic diva, and Bradley simply trying to hold down the fort we learn that military generals are no better than the pettiest drag queens. Monty, sashay away! Meanwhile the Germans don't think the Americans could wipe their own noses without Patton giving the order and ignore all common sense that goes with it (the greatest decoy of all time). Ultimately, apologizing is the hardest thing Patton has to do, and it wasn't convincing. Happy Birthday, Dad!