E 152 What is the pebble?

[00:00:00] Hey, you. Thank you for joining me for episode number 150, 2 of better regulate the never. Well, It is still during my back to school sale, 50% off the YouMap®  profile, either by itself with a workbook or. The YouMap® Profile and coaching with me. To help you go through all of the information and find out how it directly relates to you. 

What is great about the coaching part of it is that I can really talk to you because I am an educator and was an educator. In education for 31 years. I really work with my clients about how they can use this in a school setting. How can you talk to your teachers? How can you work better in groups? Because I know what it's like to be in the school setting. 

So I think it's so helpful for my clients. As they're getting ready [00:01:00] to go back into school. And a lot of my clients, it's kind of interesting. A lot of them are the age of their. They're going to be freshmen in high school. And they're going to a whole new school and a whole new setting and all sorts of exciting things going on, but they're also really nervous about it too. And so because they have this information. 

They can go into it in such a calmer. More. Intentional way I think. And so I'm going to have some of my clients on, so you'll be able to hear how it's working for them, but it won't be before school starts because we're still getting all that put together and I want them to experience the full thing before we have these conversations. 

So that you have a chance to. So they can tell you the real, like a whole piece of everything that they got from it. So. But you can get in on at least having some of this information at the very beginning of school. So please. It only goes until the 15th. So we're a week [00:02:00] away from the end of this 50% off sale. So go to my website. 

And you can either just go to the YouMap® assessment tab at the top of the page, or you can go to better regulate the never.com/programs. And either way it will take you to a page. There's two options. The ones I just mentioned where you just get the profile by itself or you can get it. With coaching. And right now it's 50% off. 

And when you click on it, you can use the promo code. Back to school 23. And it's all lowercase, all one word back to school. 23. So. Go there. Get this assessment. And get your school year started in the most amazing way that you can. And I can't wait. For you to, to have that information, even if you don't work with me, but better yet, if I get to meet you and help you through the whole [00:03:00] process, because I'm so excited about what this is going to do for so many young people. 

Now today's episode. I got the idea of this from my youngest stepson. And it's so funny because most of the people in my family don't pay any attention to my podcast or care that I have a podcast. But the other day, I think it, I don't know why we were both sitting in the living room at the same time. Cause we don't very often, but he was asking me what I was going to do for the day. And I said, well, I got to come up with some more. 

Episodes for my podcast. And I, I always write them first and then get ready to record them. So I, I said, I have to write these episodes. And. I don't know why. We even talked about what would he. Write about or what what's important to him or whatever.

But he gave me this quote that he says is really important to him. And the quote, is it isn't the mountains [00:04:00] ahead to climb that wear you out? It's the pebble in your shoe. So, I didn't know. I mean, I maybe had heard that before, but I looked it up and it is a quote from Hammad Ali. And if you don't know who Muhammad Ali was, he was an world-class. 

Famous boxer. And did a lot of, I don't know a ton about him because I just know that. And I remember as I was growing up, seeing him on TV and stuff, But. He was amazing at that. And I'm sure that this quote had something to do with thinking about his career or things that he was experiencing in his life. 

And I had asked my stepson when he told me this This quote was one that he really, that really resonated with him. I said, well, what is it? What does it mean to you? Or what do you, you know, what is it about it that is important to you? And he said that. He just thought it was like, if you have really big projects in front [00:05:00] of you. 

It's not the big projects that sometimes get in your way, but it's all the little stuff. That gets in your way from. Getting the big job accomplished. And I wonder if he's not, he and his wife are building a house. And I wonder if this kind of resonates with them right now because they have this big project of this house, but then there's all these little things that have to be done first and in order, in order for the next thing to happen. And sometimes those things are more painful and more. 

Annoying than the actual big, big picture of the house. So. 

We can see mountains. In this quote, we can see the mountain as our life's purpose. And remember last week. When we were talking about searching for meaning and adversity that. That that search for meaning that search for purpose is the. [00:06:00] What our life's goal is. And so. You can see that, you know, your mountain is your life's purpose, but your mountain could even be that homework assignment that you need to get done, or a diagnosis that somebody gets or a divorce or a death, really anything. That's a big challenge. 

And a big challenge is different for everybody. You know, like homework could be a big challenge for one person, not a big challenge for another. But. Anything that's a big challenge is your mountain. And then all the stuff that gets in your way are the pebbles. So. Small things. Those obstacles need to be overcome in order to get to the big thing or, you know, those that pebble in your shoes going to have to be dealt with before you can climb the mountain, because if it's already bothering you. 

As you're on the journey, then climbing a mountain is going to be like a nightmare. 

So, what are the pebbles in your shoe? When [00:07:00] we look at homework, As the challenge or as the mountain. Our pebbles could be playing video games. Our phone cause we're gonna. Scroll on social media or text everyone or call people or whatever. I guess you guys don't call people. Your friends could get in the way, like maybe they come to your house and it's your homework time, but then, oh, now I. 

Really want to go do this stuff instead of doing my homework. It could be taking naps and sleeping too long. It could be Not being able to find your homework. So messiness could be. A pebble, because now you don't even know where your stuff is and you got to find it. So there's a lot of obstacles and people have different obstacles. You know, I wouldn't have the, I don't know where it is messiness anymore because as a teenager, I might've had that. 

But now I know where all my stuff is. I know that it makes my life easier. If I. 

And have places for all my things. And [00:08:00] I can find things easily because I don't want to be wasting a bunch of time looking for stuff. But I know a lot of young people don't have that care or need yet, so. He kind of just depends on another person. Another teen might be completely know where everything is, but they 

Had the obstacle of video games or whatever. 

So our pebbles are those little obstacles, things that are getting in the way. And if we can eliminate or strategize how we can tackle all those pebbles. Then we can get things done. 

Going towards the mountain or get the mountain climbed. So we have talked so many times about ways. That we can deal with those small things. Like I have an episode about having a routine. I probably have a couple of episodes episodes about having routines. How to calendar your day and your homework. And when you calendar things, you block out those times. And I think [00:09:00] I, well, on my YouTube channel, there is a video way down at the bottom. It's not in the podcast section, but just in my videos. Cause. 

I started having videos about things before I actually put them on as a, in the podcast playlist. But if you just go to my videos towards the very, like one of the very first videos I ever put on there. Was how to calendar your day. And I should probably go back and listen to it because. If I remember right. 

It might've been recorded even before the pandemic. So it might say things that don't even make sense anymore. Maybe I need to do another one, but you can go and see. How to actually calendar things in Google calendar. Or just not letting any distractions get in your way, like your phone and how can you. 

How can you make that? Like, what are some things you could put in place to help you with that? And these things are going to be crucial. Every year of school, for sure. And really your whole life. You're [00:10:00] going to have to know how to do this, but with school sometimes. It's even more important because there's a lot of tasks and things that, that you're being asked to do that you're probably not that excited about. 

So in your YouMap® information, if you decide to get this it can help you in so many ways to work around. These pebbles, because you're going to know what your strengths are, your values, your skills, your preferred skills versus your burnout skills and your talents and your. Your interests. And you're going to be able to use all of that information to create these plans and strategies that you don't have right now. 

So just another reason for you to get your YouMap®. But if we're going to climb a literal mountain, like if we really were somebody who was into that, we would have a plan or some kind of a map and like steps that we would follow either. In getting physically fit enough to climb the mountain, or even if we're already physically fit. And we're just like, how are we going to do it? We'd still [00:11:00] have some strategic plan. We'd have things that we'd have to. 

Circumvent go around. Things that we would have to. 

Make less of an obstacle. So just think about, you know, this, this could work. If this literally was, you really were climbing a mountain. And you need to start with finding out what are the pebbles, what are the things that are going to get in the way. So that you can eliminate them or cushion them. Now, when I was thinking about. 

And I said cushion because. 

I was thinking about, you know, you could just literally take the pebble out of your shoe if you, if this was really a thing, but then I thought, what if for some reason you couldn't take the pebble out, but if you just like put some extra cushioning in your shoe or on your sock or whatever, or even on your foot, 

Would help it to not hurt so much. When I, I haven't. I'm not like really into doing like heavy fitness, [00:12:00] extreme fitness. But I used to do some running like five days a week, way back in the day. And sometimes I would get blisters or. Callouses that hurt or different things. And you could get these like cushions that you could put around it, almost like a bandaid, but it was foamy. 

That would help, but not hurt when you were running or walking. And so I was thinking, well, That's kind of like, like with your phone, you're not going to get rid of your phone. But you're going to cushion. It being a problem by putting it in another room. Or turning off all the, putting it in airplane mode. So it can't ding or. 

Or alert you of things while you're trying to work on something. So I thought, well, that's a way, you know, you're not going to eliminate all of these things when you're climbing a mountain. You're not just going to. I have one straight. Smooth path. You're going to have to go around things and you're gonna have to climb things, whatever. 

And so that's what I was thinking about. The same is [00:13:00] true with any, I mean, there's always different kinds of obstacles. And our feelings can be pebbles to so stress and worry and anxiety, disappointment, resentment, boredom. All of that stuff can be. Pebbles and the way. On the way to your mountain. 

This whole podcast. Is about how all of our feelings are normal. And that there are lots of different episodes that you can go back to and listen to. How do you process emotions? So you have to actually let the emotion flow through your body. You have to feel it. And allow it to be there so that it can go away. And that's how you get rid of. It's not that you never feel that way again. And it's not that you don't feel some sort of a low grade. 

Anxiety when you do something. But you cushion it or you. Allow it to flow through and leave so that you, it doesn't get in your [00:14:00] way of doing the big things. So go back and find those topics that you might need to listen to if you haven't already, or maybe. Even if you've already listened to all the episodes, you might want to go back and have some refreshers on some of that. 

If you're working on an important project for school, but you keep getting distracted by drama from your friends, which happens a lot. I know. Or even drama with your sibling, sibling or siblings where they're fighting a lot. The drama then is the pebble in your shoe? And so it's, it's hindering your, your progress and causing unnecessary stress on you. 

If you are on a fitness journey and. There's going to be times when you're going to have minor setbacks, you're maybe gonna have to skip a workout. Maybe you don't feel good and you can't do the workout or maybe something comes up and you have to do it instead, and you don't get your work yet. Workout in. 

Or you're somewhere where there's [00:15:00] not a lot of healthy choices of food, but you want to eat something. And so you eat something that's less healthy during that time. Now those small. Could be insignificant things could become pebbles in your shoe. Because you might just say, oh, well I messed up that meal. So now I'm just going to eat everything or, oh, well, I miss that workout. So now I'm just not going to go work out anymore. 

That would hinder your ability to finish that fitness journey. And if you just saw it as, oh, this is just one of the things that happens and I'm going to get right back on the trail and keep going. Then that wouldn't hinder you and you had learned a way to, to deal with that. In relationships, you need to be able to talk about little minor understandings and misunderstandings and annoyances. It doesn't mean that you nitpick everything because no, one's perfect. You're not perfect. They're not perfect. And things are going to happen. And you're going to get disappointed about things. 

But if you feel like that a [00:16:00] lot. You need to be working these things out and talking about them so that they don't become in the way of having a good relationship. And sometimes those things can't be overcome. And then that lets you know that this isn't a relationship you want to take on long-term. 

But. 

Most of the time, if you don't take care of those minor annoyances and misunderstandings, they do become too large and can ruin your relationships. So. Misunderstandings and annoyances could be pebbles on your way to the mountain of this. The whole relationship. And being aware of what the pebbles are and our lives being able to decide, okay, these are the things that are going to get in my way. 

Allow you to manage them more effectively, because what you're aware of, you're going to be able to take care of. And reducing that reduces the impact on you and on your journey if you know, or you're anticipating. So if you're actually climbing a [00:17:00] literal mountain and then your plan about how you're going to do it, you already have plan B plan C. You know, if this happens, if that happens, if it rains, I'm going to do this. 

If. If this path is obstructed, I'm going to go on this path. And so that's what you do about these other pebbles that we're talking about with feelings. You know, if I end up feeling like this, I'm going to do this. I did a whole workshop this summer with teens about. How to deal with our worry. And they came up with plans on how, like, when this happens or, you know, I have this situation I'm worried about. 

And I'm going to do these things. And when you have a plan. It's so much easier to face it and you feel so much. More in control than if you just blindly go into it and hope, hope for the best, because that's not usually gonna work out too good. 

In theYouMap® assessment, we reveal it reveals what your preferred skills are and your burnout skills. So you can put plans in place for school. [00:18:00] And it doesn't mean you would never do your burnout skills. Cause I talked about that last week that somebody burnout skill studying, you have to study when you're at school, there's no way around it. But if studying is your burnout skill, what are some ways that we can. 

I can help with that. So it doesn't burn you out. Like it, it's just something that's just part of little pieces of things that you do. But you may find out some other things are burnout skills that you do tend to use a lot in school or in your job, because we can look at. What's going on in your job as well. 

And then I can help you figure out how do you talk to your teachers about it? How do you talk to your parents about how you talk to your coworkers or your boss about it? And that's what the coaching does is helps you to take the information that you get. And then what can you do with it? And how can you make your school life better? Your relationships better, your. 

Your parent. Your relationship with your parents and everything else that you do. 

By addressing the pebbles and our lives with awareness [00:19:00] and strategy. We can maintain our energy and excitement. To conquer all the mountains ahead. And there's a lot. So contact me to find out how to do this. I'll talk to you soon.