Move It or Lose It | Episode 148 | Ralph Cortese: Community and Friendship

Move It or Lose It | Episode 148 | Ralph Cortese: Community and Friendship

Live full with community, friendship, support and movement.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello, I'm your host, Kathy Chester, and welcome to the Move It or Lucid Podcast, a podcast about all things that move the mind, body, and soul. The Move It or Lucid podcast is for information, awareness, and inspirational purposes only. I am not a doctor, and I don't even play one on TV. So please consult your doctor before making any medical decisions. The views expressed by advertisers, guests, or contributors are their opinions and not necessarily the views of the Move It or Lose It podcast. Introducing the Pulse Device, cutting-edge, wearable device, revolutionary, wellness designed to stimulate circulation, reduce harsh pain and tightness, and speed up recovery. The Pulse device uses advanced vibro tactile technology trusted by patients, clinicians, and wellness professionals. Whether you're recovering from an injury, battling a narrow condition, or just want to feel the best every day. Pulse helps you rechange, recharge so that you can live and feel better, lightweight, powerful, and easy to use. Experience better performance, better recovery, and a better you. Order now and save$30 using my code MSDisrupted at PaulsDevice.com. The Paul's device is your health recharged. You won't be disappointed. Get it now for yourself. I have it. I love it. Go ahead and grab it. Hello, welcome to Move It or Lose It. Today I have a very good friend and a guest today, Ralph Cortiz. Welcome. I have enjoyed working with Ralph several times. We are doing some things about strokes, autoimmune diseases, and things that are so fun to have and what we do with them. So we're doing some really good things and really trying to spread awareness and help others. And um, Ralph, you don't know him, you should because he is um on stroke, he is really the face of Stroke Radio, stroke stroke warrior radio. Got it. So um, and what you do, Ralph, is so amazing. The ability that I've watched so many interviews, the people that you interview, and the hope that you bring for community and for those to have a voice. You know, we have these platforms to be able to raise awareness, but to give those people that wouldn't have a voice, wouldn't be able to share, you give that, which is really a neat thing to be able to do.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Yeah, it's interesting how it started. Some guy I was introduced to a guy and he said, That voice you put me to sleep. And I said, Is that a compliment? He said, Yeah, it is, because we can do radio, so all of a sudden we get this idea for stroke or your radio, and yeah, that's how it all started four years ago next week.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Three years ago next week.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Three years ago. Doesn't it? Did you think he was gonna have you do pillow talk?

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's been so fun. You mentioned community, and I think one of the things I had my stroke ten and a half years ago, and one of the things that improved my recovery so much was when I moved to Bend, Oregon, I got involved with Stroke Awareness, Oregon, and met a bunch of other stroke survivors. And that community to me is one of the most honest, uh outgoing, and committed to others communities that I've ever been in. And six and a half months after I'd moved here with getting in contact with all these people, I was off my cane, my walker, everything. Wow, you know, so I mean finding out you're not alone is yeah, such an incredible, yeah, incredible uh tool to use.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

That's so good because I, you know, obviously MS is um well, March is MS and stroke awareness. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_03 4:17

It is strokes. Strokes in May.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Okay. Um so what I found to be so interesting is that you know, this month we talk about it a lot about March with MS. It is it's the community you don't necessarily want to be in. We didn't ask to be in it, we don't really want to be in it, but on a good note, it is a very close community. And I was talking to my editor today, and I just said, you know, it would be I'm almost to the point where I've had MS longer than I haven't, which is like, uh, but I was diagnosed pretty young. And it's almost now to the point where, gosh, it'd be great to jump off this roller coaster, right? I don't want it anymore. I'd be like, let's go. But at the same time, man, I would miss our community because the community with multiple sclerosis is really awesome. I mean, I've met some of my best friends in this community, and it would be really weird to not have that community. So it is, yeah. I mean, you talk about the stroke community in the same way that we talk about the multiple sclerosis community. And I think that, you know, there's a lot of diseases that you don't see that community, and it makes me really sad for that. One of the reasons why I opened my um my um today I had another MS when we both were cognitively we're like, okay, we're gonna do charades. Um, why do the support group is because of that, because there's so many that I opened it up to not just multiple sclerosis, but for all chronic illness, because realizing that a lot of them don't have that big support.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

Yeah, you know, it's it's weird too that you know you can see most anything else. You can see somebody with certain illnesses or whatever. But brain injury, no matter what it is, MS, TBI, uh, AVM, stroke, there's so many different brain injuries, right? But it's that effect on a person through the brain is different from the others. It's an invisible disability that people can't understand unless you're going through it.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

And I think that's why we do so well on our shows because you know, we understand what we're going through.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Right now, thought, I want you to give me your thought on that because I've had a lot of people give different thoughts on that. Because if I'm going somewhere, I don't know that I want everybody to see my MS or my rheumatoid or my epilepsy. I don't want to really have a seizure when I'm out. And there's so there's two different thoughts on that. Do we want everybody to see it or do we not? You know, a lot of people are like, I don't want everybody to see it. And there's people that don't really, I want help sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Yeah, you know, I went through that double edge store too after my stroke because you know, if I went grocery shopping, I had to use that stupid cart, right? And I started getting thanks to COVID, I delivered have all my groceries delivered, you know. Yeah, even though I can walk through the grocery store now. I don't want the general public to see it per se, but I do want other stroke survivors to see it.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

You know, if people ask, for example, I have a very close friend that whenever we go out to lunch or dinner or whatever, and people look or stare with her and their cane, right? You'll walk up to them and say, I've had a stroke, what would you like to know? You know. Oh wow. So there's there's, you know, do you get through the embarrassment to make other people aware? Yeah, which is what I love about the community.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

You make people aware of what the warning signs are and what it can cause. You know, I you can't tell if you see me that I have stroke. I still limp, I still have cognitive issues, my half my foot still numbed. You know, there's all kinds of weird things happening, right? But it's not necessarily, you know, I get, I guess I'm at the point now where it's become a rewarding experience for me because of all the people I've known. Yeah, all of the changes I've made in my life. Yeah, I have so much more patience than I ever did before before. For sure. I don't definitely I don't have as bad a temper as yeah, very true. You know, there's a whole bunch of things, and I think one of the hardest things I had for six years was getting through anger, uh, getting through recognizing those little victories every day. You know, I could walk 10 steps yesterday, but uh 15 today. That's a big victory in the book.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yes, it is. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

So, you know, I and that's why I do what I do because yeah, people need to under I think people need to understand, I did, that everything you do leads up to better successes.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Yeah, so true. And I you know what I do, and I love to do it. And I sometimes I cry with them because sometimes when we do it, we don't see that that's a little victory because it's easier for us to see the negative, especially when it's ourselves. And you know, my my MS client today just we were doing deflection, and that's a big thing we've worked up to. You know, there's a plan, I know the plan, I know what we're doing, what we're getting up to, but sometimes they don't, and I'll give them little bits, and then all of a sudden they bent the knee and they're they look at me and I'm like, and I'm getting showed up and I'm like, you did it, you did it. Yeah, that locked that locked leg that was spastic, we got flexion. We did it, yeah. And it's just so cool, it's such a neat, neat thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

Yeah, and you know, that same friend I was telling you about. I mean, two months after I met her, met her, I think maybe it's six months, but after I got off my walk on cane, she started exercising and walking around her desk without the cane. Wow. So yeah, I mean, the it can inspire others. Yeah, and others did it for me. Why shouldn't I do it for somebody else? Yeah, and I played it forward.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah, absolutely, 100%. What do you think has changed? I mean, I know what I see doing what I do. What do you think has changed as far as physical therapy then and physical therapy now? When you are interviewing or when you see someone who's just had a stroke, what do you see the differences?

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Oh, I mean, I know there's a lot. Yeah, because 10 and a half years, the I'm not gonna say um I've come that far, but uh physical therapy fields, all the therapy fields have, because just in the last five years that I know of, neuroplasticity has become such an enormous teaching tool, um, such an enormous inspiration and motivation for survivors for everything.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Um, I think the importance of difference in therapies. For example, you may go to a physical therapist, but most of what they do is workers' comp or you know, injuries.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

But you go to uh um, what do you call it? I just neurophysical neurophysical therapist. Oh my god, it opens up a whole new world of recovery. You know, and people uh don't know that. I didn't know it for seven years. You know, somebody had to finally tell me there's such a thing as stroke certified physical therapists, you know. So that's the education part of what we do is we've got to uh spread that word, yeah, so that people don't have to go what I did. That's for me, that's what it is. Right. I was man, I was angry. Yeah, first thing I drive and leaving me at home, therapy putting me on a bike and walking away. You know, those the I think therapy's changed um for the better at all levels, yeah, because now we're looking at the whole person or asking the therapist or asking our questions, yeah. And I think the survivors are also getting more educated in understanding that I can fire my therapist. Yes, I I interview my therapist, I visit their facilities, right? You know, I'm allowed to do that just because the doctor says go to this physical therapist, it may not be the right one. Right. My first one of my first therapists uh asked me what I wanted to do. And I said, I want to get back to work. I was a contractor. So she started bringing in a ladder to physical therapy so I can learn how to climb a ladder again.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

This is your first one, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Yeah, she retired six months later, but you know, after that I got all the protocol people. Yeah, but you know, those are the kind of relations. I think therapy's changed to a relationship instead of a business transaction. It's not a transaction, right? It's a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

I still do notice this. I still see because you know, I'm on the other end. They're doing physical therapy. Now what? So I'm on that end. So now we're gonna keep going. I still see not all physical therapists, but I still see this checklist. Okay, you're walking done, doing this, done, done, done, done. And then I'll get them, and they're like, it's now we know that not all plasticity is good, right? We know that there's bad neuroplasticity that we create. And I don't always see that that that it's being done correctly in physical therapy where that checklist is done, but it's not always checked, like, oh, was that good neuroplasticity, or was it just they walked? You know, it's I see that often that when I get that that page, that client, that even if they're vaulting or circumdicting, it's like they've been doing it because we're gonna figure out how to get to A to B to C. So, regardless, we're smart. Our bodies are smart. We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna vault, we're gonna circle, we're gonna figure out a way to get there. And if we keep doing it, we're gonna continue to create that black bad plasticity because we're going to get there and no one's correcting it. So it's hard. Nobody that I start to train says, oh, goody. I said, you know what, we're gonna have to go back to go forward. Nobody says yay to that. Nobody, but we do have to do that sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Yeah, and I think one of the other things that's so um so obvious, becoming very obvious to me, is we're starting to, I'm starting to hear less and less this is good as it's gonna get.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

You know, how many people go in their first few years of therapy or first year of therapy? And at I told her it's six months, get used to the wheelchair, you're gonna be in it the rest of your life. Or this is good as it's gonna get, you're never gonna not use a cane, or that kind of thing. And that's baloney. I want to slap the hell out of those people, yeah. You know, yeah, uh, because again, seven years I have no cane anymore. Right. You know, I can right, I can actually do work uh my job, you know. So there's there's a better understanding of all kinds of brain injuries recovering after many years.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I see that with strokes more often. I see that with stroke survivors, there's less hope, I would say, because ones that that are older because they have been told stuff that like you've been told that you're uh like I was told, here's a VHS tape, and you might be able to go for a stroll, but probably you'll be in a wheelchair in about five to ten years.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

I was in my 20s. I was like, what? So I think yeah, it was like some of us were like, no way. Others were like, okay, I guess. And I think it's personality, I think it's um who's by you, who's who's community again, going back to that, who are your people that are next to you giving you good stuff or bad stuff. I think we learned through this. Um, as you know, going through my divorce, I really took that year to just kind of quiet down because sometimes there's too many voices, and we have to quiet down to figure out what do we need? What do we need for us to heal, to get better, to be able to create an environment that we are getting better, that we're not constantly feeling so bogged down because none of us want to go down to that black hole that we can't get out of, right? And it's easy to get there, real easy.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Yeah, I can I can remember two very, very dark kinds of my early recovery, you know, and that's I hear too many stories of people that have committed suicide because they've given up. You know, I hear I see too many uh people that give up and let their care partners do everything for them, yeah. You know, so they don't even bother recovering. It's all a mindset for me that I have to recover. I have a life I want to live still. I have 11 grandchildren. I have two great grandchildren. I've got to live a little bit longer, you know. Those kind of things motive have to motivate people. You know, it's it's it's becoming more important because number one, I think the number is 30% of all new strokes are under 50 or GBIs or whatever. Yeah. Um also, you know, they say it's around 800,000 people a year have a stroke. But you know, look at the cumulative total. There's over 9 million people in this country that have had a stroke.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Only 50% of them work to recover. You know, I say in the reason stroke warrior radio, you have to make a choice. Are you going to be a stroke survivor, TBI survivor, whatever, or are you going to be a stroke warrior?

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

That's the choice you have to make.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah. Why do you what do you think? Uh your opinion, what do you think uh in a person makes that decision? Because it is a decision. And I see it all the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

For me, it was finally being open. It's it's a I'm not sure how to describe it, it's a recognition of those factors out there that kick you in the ass. You know, there's there's something out there like the dark moments, the picture of my grandchildren on the on the wall in front of me. I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for that.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

Knowing that I've got these great grandchildren, one I haven't even met yet, that keeps me going.

unknown 20:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

I recognize those little pinpoints of light. Yeah. And it can be such a weird thing. I mean, it can be the fact that you know, I didn't think I could climb a ladder again. And I can at least use a four-foot ladder. But you know, that's so important. The recognizing the little things.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

And once you do, the positive mindset starts taking over.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

So I agree 100%.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Because you have you have to do that, or it won't. Some days it's just a picture of my granddaughter, my grandbaby. Someday I don't only have one, not 11. So she's all over. Some days it's just, you know, we had a nice day. I took so I took my therapy dog for a walk, and it was like, okay, I'm gonna breathe in some of this air, and just I'm outside. And you know, I may not be able to walk as fast as I want to walk today, but I'm walking, I'm outside, and you've gotta find something in that day because sometimes it's hard. You know, sometimes in that day, there's so many things at you, and you're like, I give up, but we just can't. You you've gotta find something. Find something in that day, and I would go through, walk through the house, walk through outside, find something that you can say, thank you for this. And yeah, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

There's a whole gratitude part of it that you know, you have to. I had to understand that, you know, there's so many stroke TBI AVMs, whatever, uh, that never get to put their foot off the bed every morning.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

There's my first step of gratitude. You know, um the fact that um I can recognize those grandchildren. Recognize the great grandchildren that I can still talk to them.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

You know, look at all the aphasia people that can't even talk to their grandchildren. You know, I I feel for sometimes I I I kind of joke, but it's kind of true. I feel like a fraud sometimes because I see some of these people and how what they're going through. It's like, oh my God, you know, yeah. How do you do it? But I I got lucky, you know, yeah, because I recognize those little pinpoints of light, but I also um I I think I I just wanted to do better, you know. I I it I had to adjust the attitude, otherwise I wasn't gonna be in a wheelchair or a walker for the rest of my life. So it's it's a matter of desire, it's a matter of um want and I and turning those wants into needs. Yeah, you know, I need it to be positive to get better. And the other is go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

No, you got finished.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

I I was gonna say the other thing is by doing that and getting the attitude clear for me, I was able to recognize the tools out there. You know, for example, support groups. Oh my god, what a difference in my recovery that made. Yeah, you know. Um the other is the third biggest thing I think I found is that when insurance or um your therapist or your national health service, because I interview people in England and places like that, when that cuts off, it's up to you now for your recovery. You know, that's one of the biggest things we've been talking about lately. Is what about now? What about those nine million people or more that have had a stroke? What are you doing right now for your recovery? Yeah. I mean, you and I, you know, we got started interviewing, sharing our story. Share your story, call me, yeah, call, call you.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Exactly, because it's scary, right? I mean, you know what's happened to me. My insurance is now dropped. I'm going through all the Medicare, Medicaid. And it's like you get you get thrown to one, and the other one throws you to that. And it's like you could spend the whole day, that could be your full-time job. I mean, truly, it's like I'm I'm bummed between Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid. And it's like, then they're like, well, then all of a sudden it's closed for the day, and you do it again the next day, and you're thrown around the loop all again. And then you're told you have to cancel this appointment, shows you don't have any insurance. And I'm like, so it's a constant, it's a constant roller coaster. So you absolutely get how someone on their own doing it feels like I want to quit.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

And I I I did. I wanted to quit because I've been living by myself for most of my recovery. I was I was by myself when I had my strokes. But again, I had to adjust my mind to want to be better.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Um I led a good life, you know, before my stroke. I had a wonderful life, I thought. You know, uh two very good women I was married to, um four great children, uh, a couple great businesses that I wound up selling and doing well off of. You know, there's uh and I had a relationship with my God too, that also helped me in my recovery. Sure. Uh, you know, the daily prayer, the those kind of things are things that keep your mind right to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Definitely. I would say faith for you and I, faith for me has been, I don't I don't know how I would do this without my faith. I I don't know. Because that has absolutely kept me, whoo. I mean, that has kept me on the days where I felt like I can't take one more step further. And um, and again, the unseen things, um, I think cognitively that's a tough one when people don't really people have some understanding of that. I think, especially after after COVID and the whole pandemic thing, people have a somewhat of an understanding of, oh wow, cognitively I I sort of get it. But a lot do not. I've heard people say, even for me, you know, be careful, be easy. She's gone through a lot, she doesn't remember anything. And I'm like, what? That that's not you, you have a misunderstanding of the cognitive issues that we face. I could not put together this whole program if cognitively I was just here. It means simply, it could, you know, for some people, absolutely that does. But when I say cognitively, I may need some help. So simply I can't have four people talking to me at the same time and follow that conversation. So I'm putting together something and I'm gonna need it quiet, and I'm gonna, it's gonna take me longer than the average B. So give me that time. And if you don't explain it in such a way, it seems that people want to kind of make up what it is to them, what that means to them. And that can be frustrating.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Yeah, it can be. I I think you know, for people um with a phased, their care partners finish their sentences. Yeah, they're not gonna relearn how to talk if you keep doing that. You know, for me, it was um being able to. Cognitive. No, uh, that's what it was. Speaking of cognitive, uh, people don't understand, we haven't lost our intellect, right? Yes, you know, with where it's still in there, yes, and sometimes the anger is good because you bring out what's still in there, right? Yeah, you know, yeah, maybe not politely, but right, you know, sometimes it's more polite than others, yeah. It's something that you know, you're a different person, you've got a different life, but it is not a worse life, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

You know, it can be a good life, it's still talked about that a lot, which I do appreciate with you and I, that as a mom, when my kids were younger, I mean, uh people that know me now are like, do you slow down? Do you stop at all? And I'm like, Yes, at 9:30 p.m. And so um, you know, when I was younger, I was I was I just didn't have a stop. And I remember when I was diagnosed with the kids, my kids little, they were like, Oh my gosh, she stopped. We can sit down and watch something with her. So it helped me understand how much they really needed me to do that. And I just didn't see that. I was so young and busy and I wanted this big career and wanted to do all this stuff. And you know, I just I didn't see that need as a you know, young 20 something. I was just like, they're fine. I mean, I did this, this, and this, but I couldn't see that need that they had. And so I really am grateful for that time. Again, do I want to have this? No. Do I want to jump off this roller coaster? Sure, if I had the opportunity. But do I see the the blessing in it at times? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

You know, I it's kind of a weird comparison, but speak speaking about children. When your children leave, you go through empty nest syndrome. When you have a stroke, you go through empty nest syndrome to a certain extent. Yeah, you're redefining your life as it as it happens.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Very good.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Yeah, you know, that's something that I have to recognize every day. I keep redefining. I'm like you, I'm type A. Yeah, I don't stop. Yeah, I notice. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Um as a single person, it's different.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Yeah, that's different too. Yeah, yeah. But you know, the the care partners too, um, it's the unsung heroes, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

Um can be that there's some education and um uh openness that yeah, we need to share with them as well.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

You know, what do you say to the ones that don't want it? Because I see a lot of you know, people that are in the that will come into the support groups and they'll say, I've tried, I've tried to to share, I've tried to let that he or she know there's this for them, and they just don't want any part of it. They feel like they get more out of out of just reading the material. They don't want, and the other person's like, no, you have to have this support, you can't do it on your own. What do you say to that?

SPEAKER_03 31:12

I say it's a communication issue. You you have to communicate with your care partner what you expect is a strong word, but what you expect of them, and the care partner has to communicate with them what they can and can't do, also their stress levels, also when they need a break, you know, both partners some point gotta get a break for me. Yeah, I know a couple couples that they're all the time, all the time together. You know, the care partners are maybe annoying and maybe finishing sentences and maybe answering questions for the other partner, uh, all of those kind of things. But that's something that's lacking in the education and yeah, awareness part too. Good. There's a mental health issue for care partners as well as the survivors, right? A communication problem between care partners. Right. I you and I both know people that have lost their marriages because of steroids. Yes. And it's because of lack of communication. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

And Ralph, it's not like they went to school. Now I think went to school to be, oh, just in case I'm going to be a care partner, I better get some education on this. You're just all of a sudden a care partner, and you're like, what if your personality wasn't made for that?

SPEAKER_03 32:43

But there's support groups out there for care partners, also.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

You know, that's another thing I had to learn was research.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

You know, um, one of the biggest things I still promote to this day is the 211 information line.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

I call that, I called that for everything. I got glasses done, I got Medicaid help, I got Medicare help, I got uh DME uh, you know, durable medical equipment help um referral.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

That's important because a lot of people don't do that. They're like, I don't think I could get help. I'm like, yes, you can.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

Yeah, there's loads out there for both the survivors and the car partners. So it's something um, you know, I still believe in the 211 information line. Every state has it, it's a national thing, and they have all kinds of referral. I got my first social worker off of that. Yeah, uh, you know, there's I had I learned from that and additional research online and that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

I'm gonna have that on at the bottom of our show notes. I'm gonna have that on the bottom of the show notes just for people who don't know that.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Yeah, it's a great resource, yeah. But you know, I I've where was that going? See, we still have it, you know. It it's there's to me I I've discovered there's 14 therapies. Yeah, it's not just PT or OT, not just speech, there's acupuncture, there's chiropractors, mental health, there's psychology, there's right, uh being neuropsychology. Neuropsychology, you know, there's all kinds of things out there that um again back to openness. You gotta be open to something. I always believed if I kept doing the things I did before my stroke, as ugly as they looked, uh, doing them afterwards, right? They would get better. And today they do look better. Yeah, you know, yeah. I can run a snowplow, I can run a uh tractor now, you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

And there's also the thing I would say, um, you know, I just when I worked with a client yesterday, I said, you know, when you're doing this, when the leg locks for stroke NMS, you're in spasticity. So it doesn't mean push it harder, it means let's relax it and then try that flexion again. We're not gonna keep jamming it to push harder when you're in spasticity. We're gonna relax it, and that's hard when you've been athletic before because you're like, no, we just keep pushing it harder and it'll go, right? Yeah, because oh I agree with that. That's what we've been, that's what we've taught. It's what we do in sports. So it's like, no, we're gonna make it work.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

I try and compute it every time I have an issue with my body to a cramp. Yeah, you know, a cramp is a tightening of it, yeah, and uh to release it, you're extended.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

So you know, I have to extend myself a little bit here and there.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:52

And again, it may look ugly, but I'll be darned if I can't do it better than I did in the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

And it's very exciting to to watch that and to a lot of times I'll video it just so they can see. And I'll watch, look what you did. And when you said you couldn't, look what you did. So um I love I love that. I love um talking about the community and things like that, and just just putting it out there and knowing that even when you're alone, you're not alone. And a lot of us feel that way, even when we're with the spouse, you know, that that we're alone. So because the spouse, even when we love each other so much, you don't you don't really get what you have with that other person has unless you have it. So that's where the community comes in to be so strong because you can pick the phone up, you can go to a, you know, a uh whether it's in person or whether it is online and say one thing, and you're gonna have five people say, I get it. And there's nothing better than having someone get you and understand what you have. And um, we did a big thing on vices, and we know that when we're in that much pain, it's easy to turn to, well, everybody's doing cannabis. I'll just do it all day. Everybody's drinking, I'll just drink till I feel better. And it's easy to get and it feels good at the time, makes the pain feel better. And a lot of us don't discuss it. I did a podcast on it a couple weeks ago with a good friend because it's that nobody needs to know this. It's my stuff I do, it's my business. And until it's not, until something had bad happens, then oh crap, I guess this isn't just my business anymore.

SPEAKER_03 37:39

So, you know, I I I have I journal, I do two journals. I got an anger journal and I got a gratitude journal.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

I like that.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

So if I get some angry, yeah, I look back on some of that and I can't believe some of the things I put in there.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

But I don't want my kids to see my anger journal.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Uh that's what a longshoreman talks like. Um the the point I I guess I'm making is that for me anyway, when I started a family, I had to build my family. When I started my stroke, I have to build my community. That's what I learned. That community is probably the thing that saved my life and continues to make me do better every day. And some days, again, like you said, some days it's like I'm going back to bed to hell with it. But guess what? That's okay too. Right. You know, we're allowed to do that. We're adults, we can make our own damn decisions.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

That's right. You can have a Netflix day, just don't make it 20. Then we're coming after you. We're coming to get you.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Yeah. Oh, Ralph, you know how much I adore you, and I am excited to continue this um with you and to just keep doing our radio shows, just to continue to spread awareness. It's it's fun to do this with you. I enjoy spreading awareness about who you are and giving hope. Um, first, there's so many that have had a stroke and just don't know where to turn. And I love turning them on to your radio state, just letting them know there's so much hope. And just here, what watch this, find a support group. There's so many. And um, and I just am so grateful for you and your positive attitude and also your push, that gentle push, like get into something. You need to do this because you this isn't life over, it's a game changer, but not life over. There's so much exactly.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

You know, I'm not gonna shoot shoot on everybody, but for me, I just had to keep going. I had to get my mind right, and um I I'm grateful today that it is. And I'm it's become the most, it was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but become the most rewarding. And that's I like that my biggest share with most people. It can be rewarding.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

So you got someone in front of you. Last thing I'm gonna ask you. Someone in front of you. Newly, no, let's not do we've done it before. Diagnosed 10 years, wife is gone, no more kids, kids are gone, they moved, don't want anything to do with mom or dad. Not gonna tell stroke could be mom or dad, very lonely, very depressed. What would you say?

SPEAKER_03 40:37

The phone number is 719-313-3540, or you can email me at stroke warrior radio at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

I'm gonna say reach out to somebody.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

Uh hopefully it's another survivor.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Yeah, amen.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

Yeah, don't be by yourself. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

I love that. Thank you, Ralph. Thank you for being on today. I will see you soon, and we will be on another show again very soon.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Yes, we will. Talk to you soon. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

I will let you guys know when this will be airing. And again, don't forget to subscribe and don't forget to reach out and let me know what you would like to see on Move It or Lose It. Again, thank you, Ralph, for being on with us today. And we will see you guys next week. Have a great day today.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

You too. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of the Move It or Lose It podcast. It would mean the world to me if you subscribed and left a review. Remember, you can find me on Apple, Spotify, Tipter, and YouTube. New episodes of the Move It or Lose It Podcast air every other Wednesday. If you have any suggestions for future guests or topics, please visit my website at www.msdestructive.com. Until next time.