Pastor Plek's Podcast
Pastor Plek's Podcast
From Rape to Redemption with Matt Badgley
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378: Matt Badgley's life began with unimaginable trauma - conceived through rape to a drug-addicted mother. His childhood was marked by poverty, abuse, and abandonment, leading to a suicide attempt at 14. However, God intervened through Young Life ministry, where Matt encountered the unconditional love of his Heavenly Father. Today, he's breaking generational cycles by raising godly children with his wife Brittany. His story demonstrates that no situation is too broken for God's redemption, and our worst experiences can become the foundation for ministry and hope for others.
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Welcome back to Pastor Plex Podcast. I'm your host, Pastor Plex, and joining me today is someone I'm very excited about. Matthew, I want you to give us Matt. Matt.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Matt. Yeah. My wife calls me Matthew, and uh it's a term of endearment, or I'm in trouble. So Matt Matt's the way to get it.
SPEAKER_01:All right. So get tell us who you are. Tell us where you came from. Tell us like um just the basics of of how you came to the church. And then we're gonna I want to get into because once I heard your, I don't know, real true story, whole story, whole biography, yeah. It's pretty wild.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, I'll do the uh the abridged version. So uh I've been a uh Christian for 15 years now. Uh been with my wife since high school, or high school sweethearts. I've got two kids, uh Jackson, he's six, and Peyton is eight years old. And we've been in Texas since 2019. We moved here from Seattle.
SPEAKER_01:That's wild. Okay, and your wife's Britney. Yes, Brittany Badgley. And she's so great. So, okay, so Matt, what the thing that struck me about your life is, and I want you uh, you know, share as much as you feel comfortable. You you shared even this morning that you were conceived in rape. Yes. So, like that to me was mind-blowing. Because usually what people say in an argument um for abortion, yeah, is what about somebody who uh rapes someone and then they should or that mom should have the ability to terminate that pregnancy. Now, so can you tell give us like the background of like of your story and let's get into that a little bit?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. So that's something I've I've thought about a lot, as is it's been really prevalent in our culture. And I've only seen one example online where someone's actually talked about their story and how they were conceived through rape. So I would imagine it's it's probably more of a rare thing. But I think I saw it on a Charlie Kirk video of all things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but that that's my story. That's that's where uh my relationship with Christ starts, believe it or not. Okay, yeah. Um yeah, it's pretty wild to think that, but um I think everything happens for a reason. I really do, and that's a story that God gave me. So it goes like this. My mom, uh, she's she struggled with drug addiction her entire life. And so um, she told me uh that she was in a rehab clinic and she met this man, and that man ended up being my biological father. Um and they became really good friends. And uh while they were in the rehab clinic, they had agreed that uh when he got out, uh he would come pick her up once her date ended. She was gonna be there a little bit longer than him. And so they made this arrangement. She gets out and she meets him, she gets in his car, and they start driving, and she realizes that he's high on something, she doesn't know what. But he starts going off and and he's talking about this plan that he has to go rob this guy and how he's gonna use her to sleep with him. And while that's happening, he's gonna sneak in and steal all this stuff, and they're gonna make out, you know, with all this money. And and he had this whole scheme planned. And she's, you know, she's now sober and she's thinking, What the heck are you talking about? I'm not gonna do that. And so she tells him, No, I'm not doing that. And he said to her, uh, Well, you're gonna pay for this ride one way or another. And she told me that he pulled over and he raped her and he left her on the side of the road. Yeah, it's wild. And so she is going, What do I do? You know, um, she finds out later that she she uh is pregnant with me, and uh her first thought was abortion. You know, I think that's probably anybody's first thought in that uh situation. And my mom is, you know, at least at that time, I did not think she was uh a strong Christian. However, my grandma is like a hardcore Catholic. So thank God for the Catholic grandmaster that are out there because she told my mom, you cannot have an abortion. That that baby is a gift uh to you, and it does not matter how he was conceived. And so she then thought, okay, well, I'm not gonna have an abortion. Maybe I'll give him up for adoption. And it just so happened that there was uh a family friend of ours that she knew. Uh he was a doctor, the wife was a lawyer, it would have been a great setup, and they wanted to adopt. At the last second, she decided not to go that route. She uh gave birth to me and then decided to keep me. The reason why I say my my story with God starts there is because she named me Matthew, which means gift from God. And she prayed uh before she gave birth to me. She said, God, this boy's not gonna have a father, and I need you to watch over him and protect him and be his heavenly father. Wow. And so that's that's where it started. That is wild.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so then so you know, she she's out of drug rehab, she gets pregnant with you, you know, nine months later, you're born. Is she drug free at that point? Or does that great question?
SPEAKER_00:So, yes, she's it's wild. So she be she was sober, but when you typically when you get on drugs, it's not because you just wake up someday and you're like, I'm gonna get on drugs, it's because you're around bad association, right? And so when she was 14, uh, she told me that she was around uh bad association. A guy that she was babysitting for came home one day, he had drugs, gave it to her. That's how she got hooked on methamphetamines, very hardcore drug. And so she, yes, she was sober when she had me, thank God. Uh, but being around that association, now she's a single mom, she's got no one to help raise this kid. What do you do? She starts dealing drugs, she starts getting into trafficking, and so she Wait, wait, trafficking. You mean drug trafficking? From what I understand, it was drug trafficking, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was any sort of trafficking. Like human trafficking, yes, but drug trafficking for sure. Okay. And when I say human trafficking, I don't mean that she was trafficking other humans, but she might have been prostituting herself. I I don't know that for a fact. But um she was selling drugs nonetheless. That's what she got caught for. So she ends up actually going to prison when I was about two or three uh years old. And uh my grandparents uh took me in. So she went to prison for I think it was about one, maybe two years. Yeah. And so um Wow. So yeah, my grandparents took me in at that at that point. Uh, we were living, it was kind of a crazy setup. If ever anyone's ever seen um The Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, it's like this old school Disney show where these kids grow up in this really uh swanky five-star hotel. Uh, my grandparents were managing a one-star motel in in Reno, Nevada. Uh that's where I was born, that's where I was raised until I was 10. Um, and so they were managing this, you know, this uh motel that was right off of Fourth Street, which is where you go to find hookers and drugs and Reno. And uh my grandparents, God bless them, if it wasn't for them, I I wouldn't I wouldn't be who I am today. Um they were a godsend of my life. And so they took me in and and I, for a period of my uh childhood until my mom got out of prison, I was living in a motel and it was a really crazy cool kind of a situation, despite it being, you know, not a good environment uh in terms of the quality of the hotel, but uh cool in terms of being with my grandparents, being in a in a loving situation, and uh just getting into experience something most kids don't get to experience.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so your t your mom's you comes back, I guess comes back early into your life, you move in with her at 10.
SPEAKER_00:So she gets out of prison and she moves into the motel. And uh uh it got okay for a while, things get bad uh later. Um she moves in this motel, and uh I remember um being in there with her in it, you know, it's a motel. It's and it's a it's I mean you can picture it in your head in a place that you'd probably go uh uh sleep with a prostitute, do drugs, just you're there one night, you know. You're not making reservations for this place. Uh-huh. This is where, you know, I'm living with her, it's just me and her. Uh and then myself same room, or you're like same room. It's it's one room and a bathroom. That's it. Okay. One bedroom or one bed. And my uh stepdad, he comes into the picture at this point. Okay. Uh, I think right before she had gone off to prison, they had made a connection, and they must have been talking through prison because he comes into the picture as soon as she gets out. So now he's living in this motel with us. All three are in the same room. Yes. And it it was uh it was kind of a a traumatic experience to start just because I remember like my earliest memories of is of them having sex right behind me. You know, I'm three years old, and that's what I remember. And uh I was told this guy's your dad. And I didn't find out until I was 10 uh that he wasn't. And for a period of time, um he was just this this dad in my life. He was kind of absent in a way, he worked nights. Uh, we ended up getting out of that motel situation. He got us into an apartment, and it was like, hallelujah. You know, we're living in an apartment now. This is this is incredible. This is amazing. Yeah, we're living big. Did your motel have a pool? It did have a pool, but the pool had a crack in it, and there was no water in it. So it was just concrete. Dang it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so you're you're living in the apartment upscale. Uh still see your grandparents?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I would still see my grandparents, but we moved uh across town. So we were living in downtown Rena. We moved to Stead, which uh I recently visited last summer, and I looked it up on uh on livability, and it's the worst place you could possibly live in the Reno area. So that's where we moved.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So does your mom stick it out marriage-wise with the new dad? So yes.
SPEAKER_00:Um things were okay. They were both sober until I was about seven, maybe eight years old, right around there. And uh that's when things started going way south. Um, they had my my uh little sister, she was five years younger than me. That was their biological kid together. Right. Uh, this whole time again, I'm thinking this is my real father. And so um, the story goes like this that uh one day uh his brother shows up into town, he's he comes to visit from Iowa, and uh my stepdad's working nights. And so uh I had asked my mom, how did you guys get back on drugs? What happened? And she told me that uh when this uncle came to visit, he brought some methamphetamines and they were sitting there one night after we're in bed, and and he goes, Hey, if you take this, you can stay up all night long and hang out with me. Because my stepdad was working nights and he was tired. And that's a great idea. Let's do that, you know. And so if you know, if if you're a recovering addict and someone puts that right in front of you, temptation is great, and uh they they took that bait, and it was like overnight things got awful, things got terrible. All right, so how did he tell you that he that he wasn't your biological dad? He he never did. I didn't find out until I was I was 10. So once the drugs started happening, um everything started to unravel in the house. Uh it was it was constant fighting every single day. Um, lots of abuse, uh, abuse from my stepdad uh to my uh my mom and to myself. Um and one day, uh uh my mom and my stepdad got in a big fight physically and ended up in the front lawn. Yeah. And so the neighbors call the cops, the cops come and arrest the stepdad, and he goes off to jail for I think about six, seven months. So I'm about uh I was nine years old at this time in fourth grade. And uh while he's in jail, we don't have any income. My mom wasn't working, and she's all she cares about right now is how to get her next fix. You know, I remember finding needles in our house. Um, it was wild. We had no power in the house, there's no water for six, seven months. And uh what ends up happening is right before my grandparents were they so they're they're in Washington right now. They're they're living up in Seattle, they moved. I don't remember exactly how old I was when they moved, but they were up in Seattle by this point. That's where they're from originally. Reno was just like a place they were at temporarily. Seattle was was where the family was from.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so you're you're living without power. Yeah, you're you know, do you I don't know, are you the smelly kid at school at this point, I guess? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:I had one pair of pants. Uh I remember my mom. I told her I need I need uh I need uh clothes for school. And she gave me$20. And I was like, what am I gonna do with this? I have one pair of good jeans, that's it. And at the same time, I'm still trying to be a you know, a kid that's trying to be cool. So were you parenting your mom as like an eight-year-old? Oh, 100%. Yeah. I was taking care of my little sister, and I was I was cooking, I was cleaning, I was doing everything. I remember uh I would cook um food in our backyard using the barbecue because we didn't have any power. And the food that we were eating was uh given to us by the neighbor who was also on drugs, but he would go to the store and all of their perishable items that they were throwing out, he would get those and then he would bring them to us. So you know, we were eating stuff that was expired.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. Okay, so like uh eventually you you know, you you don't die. Uh was you serious in any gunfights or anything like that with your mom and drug the drug world?
SPEAKER_00:No, there were threats. I remember one time um they pulled up to get drugs, and uh my sister and I were waiting in the car, and all I remember is seeing my stepdad do like this Kung Fu like front kick uh to knock a uh uh it wasn't a gun, it was a knife out of somebody's hand. And then there was another time where a guy uh threatened to come to our house and shoot us uh because it was drug related. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so eventually you get you know you survive, you make it to high school, right? Or like what are you still with your like you're now a teenager, still living in the in the So let me go back to uh this house instead.
SPEAKER_00:Um everything came to a climax in that house. Uh dad's again in jail, mom's focused on drugs. She's got a boyfriend now at this time. Um what ends up happening is Did he officially adopt you? No, he never adopted me. Okay, so my last name's Badgley. That's the same last name as as my grandpa. Got it. Okay. You just get to choose what your last name is. It doesn't have to match your dad. Yeah. So um I'm in this house, no power, and we're using this fireplace that my stepdad had made right before he went to jail. And it was like a potbelly stove, and and uh it was a metal chimney that went to the roof. And so I fall asleep that night. Uh, it's very cold in the wintertime in Reno, and I'm next to my baby sister. Uh, she was four at the time, and I wake up and there's fire across the ceiling. And I wake up in a panic, I look at the couch, there's some random guy. He's strung out on drugs. He's literally staring at the ceiling, not doing anything, just tripping out. And I get up, I run to the back of the house where my mom and her boyfriend were at, and I'm pounding on the door. We gotta go, we gotta get out of here. The house is on fire. She doesn't believe me. I end up like, I don't know how I got her out of there, but I got her out of there. We get across uh to the neighbor's house across the street, and my house is just on fire. And I remember that night watching firefighters put out uh the fire at my house, and I had this overwhelming peace because I'm like, there's been nothing but nightmares in this house for the last, you know, three, four years because of all the addiction that my uh parents were going through and and all the turmoil and the trauma. And I wake up the next day, go to school, and I get called to the office, and they're they said, Bring your backpack. And I'd been in the office a lot. I was a troublemaker and I was I was always seeking attention. But CPS had been coming to school nonstop, and this was the first time they said bring your backpack. I show up to the office, my mom's there. She just looks, you know, strung out and and you know, going on a bender, that type of a thing. And she said, You're you're gonna go live with your grandparents. And I'm so confused at this point. I'm like, what is going on? I go out to the parking lot, my aunt's there in her uh in her truck. It was uh a two-door, uh, very, very tiny truck, might have been like a Ford Ranger or something. My baby sister's in the middle seat, our bags are packed, one-way ticket to to uh Seattle, Washington to go live with my grandparents. And the next day I'm in a different school. Uh, my birthday, my 10th birthday is like, you know, a week from that point.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so at 10 years old, at your grandparents' house, that's when you find out your that wasn't your buttons, your mom was raped.
SPEAKER_00:So, no, I don't find out that truth of of how it was conceived until my freshman year of high school. Um, I found out from my mom after all of this. I went to go visit her that next summer. I was about 11 years old. And uh she told me, you know, hey, uh Rick's not your not your dad. And she's she's bawling, she's crying, she's thinking I'm gonna hate her for this news. I remember being I was relieved. I was like, thank you, you know. Um there's some things I can look at and say, you know, I'm I'm very thankful for him. Uh like I I I'm involved in wrestling, I help coach wrestling, and uh that wouldn't be in my life if he hadn't got me involved in it. Um he gave me a lot of examples of what not to do, and he was at least someone that was willing to be there as a father, uh despite all of his abuse and everything else, you know. But but yeah, I was relieved.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so you're now you're now with your grandparents in your 10.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:In Seattle.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:And did things sort of get normal from there?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they do. It was uh it was a trip. You know, I went from Reno. Uh I was one of the only white kids in my neighborhood, you know. I remember like um yeah, like going through lots of bowling because of that. I had a guy hold a knife to my throat one time when I was a kid, yeah, uh, just because I was white. Um, but I go from that situation to now I'm living in Oso, Washington, which is this tiny community in the middle of nowhere. The like their claim to fame is that they had this mudslide happen in uh 2013, I think it was. Um, but other than that, you wouldn't even uh have ever heard of this town. I mean, it's a tiny, tiny population out in the mountains in the middle of nowhere. So I go from this very, very, you know, large city to the the middle of nowhere. Okay, so things start to normalize.
SPEAKER_01:So things start to normalize. Your sister's with you? Yes, my sister's with me. Your grandparents are there, and uh Okay, so so then tell me like, does your mom come back in the picture at all?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So man, you ask great questions, Plek. Um so yes, that this is a pretty uh crucial part of of how I came to Jesus. Um the whole time I was praying, from 10 all the way up until she did come back in my life, my freshman year. You were what, 14? Yeah, probably 14 at the time. I'm praying this whole entire time. I I wouldn't have called myself a Christian. I wouldn't have. I didn't even know what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. My only influence was for my grandma. She's Catholic, and we would, she's like uh, what do they call them? Uh cradle Catholics, you know, like they just don't go to church that often. Uh but she is a firm believer. And so that was it. I didn't know you could have a relationship with Christ. But I knew, like, man, if you prayed to this God, uh, he's gonna answer your prayer. That's what I did. And I thought, if my mom could come back in my life, this hole in my heart would get filled again. Because I remember when she was sober as a kid, she was an awesome mom. She was a soccer mom, she was just great. The drugs uh is where everything went went bad. So I just prayed, man, if she can come back in my life, get off drugs, things would be good. She does. She ends up coming back into my life at 14. Yeah. It's like a scene out of a movie, long driveway on this country road. This random car comes down, out comes my mom. She gets dropped off all the way from Reno, Nevada, out of nowhere. And again, she looks strung out. She looks like she's been abusing drugs, you know. You can just picture that in your head. And I'm thinking, my my prayers are answered. My mom is here. Yeah. She quits methanthetamines, cold turkey. That's like insane. That's insane. That's insane. So I watch her go through withdrawal, the withdrawal, the sickness, everything. And the whole time I'm just waiting. My mom, like this picture I had, my mom's coming back into my life, things are gonna be good. It was the complete opposite. The drugs had totally impacted her brain, dopamine levels, serotonin levels shot. Um she wasn't the same person, you know. And and not only that, but you juxtaposed that next to the fact that I'm a teenager, I've got all these hormones, and this lady wants to be my mom again and is trying to be like my mom. Mom. And I fought that. I had a lot of anger towards her. All of this. One day we get in this big argument, and uh and it just hit me. You know, all this hurt that I had bottled up. I'm thinking that didn't solve it. Her coming back and sober didn't solve it. And in fact, things are worse now because she's in the picture living with my grandparents. There's a lot of conflict and tension now. It all culminated. And I remember grabbing a rope and I went out to uh the woods. My grandparents had four acres. I go out to the woods, I tie a rope around my neck, I tie it around uh a branch, and I try to hang myself. And that branch broke. And I remember just sitting there on uh on the ground looking up, just going like there's there's gotta be something better than this out there. You know, there's gotta be a God out there. I remember like light shining through the branches, and I'm thinking, I I know that I just got saved. But I didn't have an answer for it. I didn't have anybody in my life, you know, tell me about Christ at that time. So I just thought, uh, shoot, I give up. You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. This sounds crazy, but I'm like, I'm gonna go party, I'm gonna go pursue women, I'm gonna go pursue drugs. And I had some buddies of mine um that uh they were already getting into pot and weed and doing all that kind of stuff and drinking and partying, and I'd been telling them no up to this point. And uh I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go do that. And it was around that same exact time that my mom told me uh about the truth of of her getting raped and how it was conceived. Um we were driving with my new stepdad, and uh and he he made some sort of comment about it, and uh my mom was like don't say anything. And and he's like, You haven't told him? And I'm like, Told me what? And she goes, No, I haven't told him. And he's like, You need to tell him. And she told me right then and there in the car that uh you know she was raped, and that's how I was conceived. And it was that night that I was like, Okay, yeah, I'm definitely gonna go smoke some weed. I'm gonna go get drunk, and I got more drunk and high than I've ever been in my entire life. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so then at what point is the like the message of the gospel come to you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thank God for Jesus. Um association's everything. Yeah. And I start getting around a different uh different group of friends. Um how?
SPEAKER_01:Like, how did you say, I'm not gonna hang around these drug addicts anymore? I'm gonna hang around Jesus people. Like who thinks like that? I mean, how does that happen?
SPEAKER_00:I I can't even remember exactly how it happened, to be honest with you. It's just a school thing. I remember just, you know, um going into my junior year and uh different classmates and uh become really good friends with a guy I'd known for a long time, but we weren't really close up until this point. And his family was a Christian family, and he wasn't yet a Christian. Ironically, he's a pastor now out uh oh out in Paris, Texas. Oh, nice. He moved from Seattle to Paris, Texas. He's what's his name? We have we we have an audience out in Paris, Texas. Hey, shout out to Corbin Anderson. Corbin Anderson, yes, thanks for listening. Calvary Chapel. All right. Um, so it his family was just beautiful. Yeah. Um, he had a similar story to me, and he was being raised by his grandparents. And I remember going over to their house and being like, this is different. This isn't this is a really cool family. They got together all the time. They went to church on Sundays, and I was like, I really, really like this. He was involved with young life. Nice. That's how I became a Christian. Nice through young life. Yeah, young life's awesome.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Okay. So was it like a young life where you go to Colorado, or was it young life where through like the school, or what was it?
SPEAKER_00:Yep. So we're up in Seattle, Washington at this time, and uh uh I'm 17. It was a summer between my junior and my senior year. I'd been going to Young Life now pretty consistently for a year, but had not gone to their camp during the summer. Nice the summer before I'd missed out on it. I'm like, nah, I'm not gonna go. This summer, uh the leader went up to me and he's like, Hey, look, someone paid for you. Uh you got a scholarship and you're you're going. Wow. And he said, it's gonna be the best week of your life. What year was that? This was oh gosh, this was 2010. Nice. Yep. Okay, so you go to Young Life. Yes. I go to this camp up in uh uh what was it, British Columbia? Up in Canada. Okay. Yeah, it's called Malibu. Oh, wow. It's on the Princess Louise Inlet in the middle of nowhere, beautiful. You gotta take like three buses and three ferries to get there. It's insane. So I go and I'm thinking, this is gonna suck. I'm on, you know, I'm on this trip with all these Christian kids. I thought they were all Christian. I found out, you know, later that they they weren't. Um I'm like, this is gonna suck. But I hear the story of the prodigal son. And uh I'm sitting in front of uh a pastor, he's telling the story, and it's just like this scene right here on this, you know, we've got the stage here, we've got your your auditorium here. I'm sitting like somewhere over by that pole, basically. I'm off in the distance. Yeah. And uh he starts telling the story of the prodigal son. And I'm listening going, what's gonna happen to this, this son? You know, he goes off and he has his crazy adventure, squanders all of his wealth, tells his dad, F you, I'm out of here, I'm gone. And I'm thinking, I can relate to that right now. I'm kind of doing the same thing. But I had felt this tug from Jesus by going to Young Life, you know, and I'm like, maybe this, maybe this Jesus thing is is right. Well, it was in this story that I realized that I could have a relationship with Jesus because as I'm listening to the son going back to his dad, I'm relating it to my relationship with my stepfather growing up. And if I did the wrong thing, I got beat for it. Right. I'm thinking, this son's gonna get beat, you know, his dad's gonna show him what's up. And uh this is gonna be a bad situation. That's the last place you should go if you're in trouble. And then I hear the dad runs to him with open arms and embraces his son with joy and throws a big party. And I'm thinking, this is insane. And it clicked right then and there, and I could hear God tell me, that's what I want to be to you. I want to be your father, I want you to be my son. And I was a kid over there, just like bawling, man, like demons coming out, just like hurt coming out, all this bottled up hurt. And I remember the uh guy that was talking, he he like made eye contact with me, and I could tell he was like, What is happening to that kid over there?
SPEAKER_01:And that day I gave my life to Christ. Okay, that's exciting. Okay, so you give your life to Christ at 17. Uh do you head back to Seattle and like everything's you know different? Like you tell your mom, what what do you do?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, um, I I kind of left something out of the story here. So just before I go off to this young life camp, I'd actually uh I was homeless. What do you mean by homeless? So my sophomore year, so freshman year mom comes in the picture. Um, she ends up getting custody of me. Don't ask me how that happened, but she did. And she's with my new stepdad now and my uh little brother. And so they have a lot of conflict with my grandparents. They end up leaving and they go into a homeless shelter and they take me with them. So my sophomore year, I'm living in a homeless shelter. So could you not stay with your grandparents? I don't know how I didn't end up staying with them. There was conflict um that they had, and uh, I just ended up going with them. You know, it was like they told me one side of the story. I didn't hear my grandpa's side of the story at the time, and they were like, you just got to come with us, and they just took me and away I went. So I'm living in this homeless shelter for a period of time during my sophomore year. Uh, into going into my junior year, they end up getting into section eight housing, transitional housing. And uh it was that summer, right before I go off to camp, uh, that uh I find uh my mom's drug staff. She got back on drugs, she relapsed. I took a picture on a little flip phone that I had, printed it off, and I said, I wrote on the back of this picture, I'm I'm leaving. Uh, don't call the cops. If you do, I've got this picture on my phone and I'll show them what's going on. And I packed up my stuff in a uh a plastic uh garbage bag and I left. I took a bus. Uh I went from uh Evert, Washington to Arlington, Washington, where I was going to school. And uh my friend picked me up and I spent that summer at my friend's house, and that was that same friend that took me to the Young Life camp. Wow. Yeah, wow. So I come back from camp. That was your question, and uh I become a student leader. Um at this time I'm now living with a different friend of mine. Uh his dad becomes like a dad to me. In fact, I talked to him today. Shout out to Dale Shipman. Um and uh I I lived there my senior year and finished out my senior year there. And they just so happen to be next door neighbors to uh my wife, Britney.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, wow. Okay, so you are 17 when you meet your wife. Yes. And then is she your same age? Or is she like one year younger? Younger. Okay. So she was, I guess, a sophomore when you were junior, or you were a senior, she's a junior. Yeah, I'm going into my senior at this time, and she's a junior. Okay, so then you you guys start dating then? Yes. Okay, and then when do you guys get married?
SPEAKER_00:We got married, uh, we were in college. This was 2014. So I was a junior in college and she was a sophomore.
SPEAKER_01:Nice.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, and so you guys get married, and then uh like was she a believer her whole life kind of thing, or what was her story?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. So she's been a believer her whole life. Um, her both of her parents are are Christian. She was raised in a Christian home. Um and uh she started coming to Young Life Club. That's how we ended up connecting. Oh, cool. It's I hate telling this part of the story, but it's the truth. Um, I I originally met her when I was 16, but I was dating a different girl, and this was before I was a Christian. Yes. And and she was witnessing to this girl that I was dating. And I remember meeting her for the first time, Brittany, and I shook her hand, and you've met her, she's just got this way about her.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I was like, I'm in love with this girl. And I was I remember thinking, I wish I was a good enough person to date somebody like this. Oh, that's cool. And then a year later, I became a Christian, turned everything around, stopped doing drugs, stopped partying, became a student leader. She starts coming to Young Life Club, and I'm like, there's that girl again. And uh, we became friends at first. Um, I asked her to prom and uh she said yes, which was surprising. She had a lot of guys asking her. I don't know how why she chose to go with me. She thought I'd be fun, is what she said. And uh I remember thinking, I want to marry this girl. And and I heard God's voice tell me, like, that's gonna be your wife. Wow. Yeah. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so you marry her. Like, how have you like with your mom? Like, did she is she alive? Did she pass? Like, what what happened?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so uh she ended up moving to Mammoth, Arizona years ago. Mammoth is like uh in the middle of nowhere outside of Tucson, like an hour and a half outside of Tucson, middle of the desert. It's a small little blimp on the on the radar. She's been there ever since. Um, I think she's doing a lot better. I don't talk to her as much as yeah as I used to. Um or you know, there's nothing strained between us. I love her, and I know that you know, deep down she she really loves me. Um, but it's just uh just not a relationship that I've kept up with. That's hard. Yeah, it's very hard. And and I felt challenged about that because you had talked recently on on uh on the uh one of your podcasts, your other podcast, about uh honoring your mother and your father. Yeah, you know, and so I've been really wrestling with that a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, it's a it's so hard to wrestle with, especially when there's so much pain and hurt and just all of that um to not have bitterness sort of sink in and to really honor and love your mom. You know, I always say this forgiveness is given, trust is earned. And so you can give forgiveness, but the trust to have your you know, your mom have access to your kids, that takes yeah, you know, like you know, she doesn't have that trust. Right. And that's okay. Right. Um, but but that's that's the part where um allowing the Lord to work and redeem the years the locusts have stolen kind of thing. Um okay, so talk to me now about what it's like for you to how many kids do you have now? Two. And so you have two kids, and tell me what it's like to without having a background of knowing what you're supposed to do as a dad. You didn't see it, yeah, you didn't uh experience like this is what dads do. They lead devotionals or they do play guitar and sing Christian songs, or like without that experience, what how what have you, you know, as as I think you're not alone in this. I think a lot of men uh they get saved, they don't have a background of how do I raise a family to follow the Lord? What are you doing? And if you don't have an answer to this, that that's totally okay. Uh, what are you doing now to sort of lead your family towards Christ? And maybe that's part of like, you know, we're going, I'm leaving the church, which is huge. But what what and how old are your kids? And and what are you doing to kind of train them um to fall in love with Jesus without having the crazy story that you have?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Um, my kids love Jesus. Yeah. Like if they were right here, they'd tell you all about Jesus. Uh I remember we we played a game recently, we're just kind of role-playing, goofing around, and uh, I was this uh this principal uh that they they told me this whole story. Like, you got to be this bad principal, and Jackson's gonna be the new kid in school, and and and Peyton's the teacher. So she brings him into the office, and I'm acting like this mean principal. Well, you know, off script, he he stops and he goes, Do you know who Jesus is? You know, and he starts telling me about the gospel, and and then I, you know, find Jesus and become this nice principal. Uh so you know, my kids love Jesus. That's great. And I'm I I wish I could give anyone who's listening to this. Like, how did you reproduce that? How did you produce that? Like, what did you do? Oh, God is good, Pleck. God is good. That's all I can say. Um intentionality, I think your example's everything, you know. And uh I've always studied uh those that I want to exemplify and be like. And I've had uh uh if outside of God, I think I've had the blessing of having good men in my life that I've been able to uh go, you know what, I'll I want to take a little bit from from you and a little bit from you and a little bit from you.
SPEAKER_01:Give me give me one of those things that like you know, uh one of the men in your life, you know, maybe it's Dale Shipman, like you you look back, one thing that he said or did or whatever, and then you don't even maybe not even till you think of it now, like I do this because I saw him do that.
SPEAKER_00:Um yeah, Dale Shipman, uh how he treats people, you know, how he carries himself. Uh he's always giving. Yeah. Ironically, a lot of the the men I had in my life, uh, they weren't they weren't ever strong Christian men. Uh it's the weirdest thing. But you know, as I'm I'm journeying this, you know, the this journey with Christ and and and uh trying to be a man after his heart, like God throws these these men in my life and and gave me great examples from them. So Dale's one of them, and how he treats other people, um, how he loved his his kids um unconditionally. Um there's a lot of Christ-like characteristics that that man has. Um Keith Dumb, what a great last name. Dumb. Dumb, yes. Yes, yeah, D-U-M-M.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. D-U-M-M. That's might as well be as I mean, uh, you just imagine his life in school. All right, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. This guy, again, not a strong Christian. Um, he he uh actually died recently, uh, but lived an amazing life. He was an older man, he was my first boss I ever had. He was he owned a landscaping company. Yeah, and uh this guy was a character. We were working out in Bill Gates' neighborhood, landscaping out there. That was one of my jobs in college. Wow. And he would come and pick me up every single morning in his van, and we'd sit in trap in Seattle traffic, which is crazy. And uh for you know, an hour and a half in the morning, hour and a half in the evening, I would just learn from this guy. And just he had tons and tons of wisdom. He had a lightheartedness about him, he treated people amazing. Um, and so I I learned from these guys. That's awesome. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, that's really good. Is there anything specifically that you do now as a dad uh to invest in your kids? Like, like for them to know anything about Jesus means you had to have an intentionality. Was that like you send them to Christian school? I mean, what is that? They've always, I mean, again, it's your example. Um, and your example Like you're telling them about Jesus clearly, because they're wanting to evangelize to the bad principal. So, like, what is that?
SPEAKER_00:I I don't think that an example comes from necessarily the words that you speak as much as your actions and what they can see. And so just even showing up to church and making that a priority, I think that's that's a huge first step. Um they've always been involved with things at church, you know, whether it was a wana or kids club or what have you. Yeah, um, the the Bible is the center in our home, you know. We we do uh consistent Bible reading together.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. So talk to me about that. How do you what what by like what Bible are you reading and what plan are you following? What are you doing? I wish I could say we're following a plan.
SPEAKER_00:Uh but we just open it up, we kind of read. We we open it up and and we start reading, you know, and and um like very similar to how we do it in our men's group. Yeah, same thing. Open up the Bible, we're going through Proverbs, and so it's like we're reading a chapter a day to get the devil away. Shout out to a chapter a day. That's a that is literally one of the best podcasts ever. Listen to that every single day. So I follow that same format. It's just a chapter a day with the kids. We go through it and uh and it most days they they probably hate it, but I think deep down they love it. Uh and I say they hate it because I'll wake them up at seven o'clock in the morning and get them out of bed and and we're open up the Bible and we're reading together, and then you know, hey Jackson, what'd you get out of that? Ah, dad, I'm still, you know, open up my eyes, that kind of a thing. But uh and you guys are homeschooling. Yes. And talking Brittany, Brittany's homeschooling.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right, of course.
SPEAKER_00:Uh I'm the substitute teacher every once in a while.
SPEAKER_01:And the principal. Yeah, and the principal, that's right. Okay, so uh talk to me about that decision. Give me like your your uh your thoughts. Yeah. I never thought we were gonna homeschool. I think it's made all the difference. Yeah. Um because clearly you have godly kids.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. And you clearly your wife has had something to do with that. Absolutely. She's been a huge, huge, huge influence. Um, I think they see our relationship too, you know, and that speaks volumes. So as far as homeschool goes, I never thought I'd homeschool our kids. Uh Brittany was in violent opposition to it. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Growing up, uh, you know, when we had always talked about having kids and when that was gonna happen, that was the last thing on our list. We wanted to to put them in private school. Right. And we did that. We we moved to Texas, we put them in a private school. Which one do you go to? Uh I won't say because we had a bad experience. Yes, fair enough. That experience uh kind of turned into a a weird scam. Okay. Uh so I I won't uh won't shout out that name. Uh, but because of that bad experience, we're like, well, let's let's try homeschooling. And we got into Was it during the pandemic?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because I everybody gave homeschool a shot. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you're your your bacon bread and your homeschooling kids. You become a sourdough expert. Every woman now is a sourdough expert. I love it. Yes. Um, and and so uh we picked up uh I think it's called the bold and the beautiful. Okay, that's what it's called. Uh-huh. Um, it's an amazing curriculum. Nice and uh it's very easy to follow and it's fun. Yeah. I'm I'm look I go through and I'm like, this is more fun than school. This is crazy. But they teach them amazing things. It's it's uh uh it's a Christian curriculum. Nice. So um they just glean a lot from it from a Christian perspective.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, and then how socialization, uh your kids play sports. Yes. Or is that is that what they're yep, yep.
SPEAKER_00:So that's kind of the homeschool stigma, right? It's like how are you gonna socialize your kids? We are a busy family. Yeah, we we're always doing stuff and we're always with people. So they're constantly around people. Um both of them play baseball and softball. Oh, fun. And uh they're really darn good at it. They that's their sport, they love it. And then I make them wrestle. Uh they would probably choose not to. Although Jackson, he's he's starting to fall in love with it. Uh, but I make them do that just out of just to have discipline and and uh and grittiness.
SPEAKER_01:And where do you guys go uh train for wrestling?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Shout out to Nick Janowitz, uh Patriot MMA. Um, that's where we go. I've I volunteer there as a as a coach and the kids go there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Okay, so now talk to me about like. Just a vision for your family now. Like with the past that you've experienced and the brokenness that you've experienced, is there any part of you that says, like, you know, ministry-wise, I want to, I want to speak into some teenagers' lives or speak into kids' lives or speaking to addicts' lives, uh, children of addicts. I mean, like, is there is it have you ever thought like through like the unbelievable untapped resource that you are for the amount of people out there that are just in crazy situations?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, I absolutely do. And I appreciate you uh even giving me a platform pleque and and thinking so much about my story. Um I I would love for God to use me wherever he wants to use me, you know, and I don't know what that looks like. I I have a heart for for students. I thought for a long time I'd be involved with young life. If you would have asked me, you know, 10 years ago where I thought I'd be at, I thought I'd be probably involved in something like that at this point. Or I'd even thought about being a pastor when I was in college. Um, life just kind of took a different turn. Um, but uh I'm at a season now where I'm definitely looking for it. I'm definitely wanting to get more involved.
SPEAKER_01:There might be a recruitment involved shortly after this podcast.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you you did tell me about solving the homeless crisis, and that's been constantly on my mind.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, just for in case anyone was wondering, I had this weird, it was just weird. So and I told I told you about it. I don't even know, like I don't know if this is the podcast to share about, but here I go. Uh a couple, about a month ago, I I had this dream. And the dream was I just I was like, you know, I was messing with my ear, and all of a sudden earwax started pouring out. Like, I don't know how earwax can pour out, but it was like all over the place and it was gross and orange and yellowy. And I was like, wow, that's a lot of earwax. That feels I'm so glad that's out of there. And I wake up. That was that was a dream. And I've and I and normally you just go, huh, weird dream. And I'd forget out. But the problem was I kept thinking about the dream. And it's like, why do I keep thinking about this dream? I was like, I don't know, maybe that means that you know my ears need to be cleared out to hear something from the Lord. And then last Wednesday, uh, so it was what last one week ago, I uh have this um, I wake up in the morning and it's like a louder than audible, you know, it just it, you know, I didn't hear a voice, but just like it was just solve the homeless crisis. Now, solve the homeless crisis. I don't know what that means. I just was like, what a weird thing. And then of course that morning, my in my quiet time, it was, you know, um, the woman at uh Simon the Leopard's house, and she starts anointing Jesus' feet. And then Judas gets angry. It's like, this could have been used for all the poor. And Jesus is like, hey, what don't mess with this woman. What she's done is a beautiful thing to me. You'll always have the poor among you. And I was like, what does this mean? You know. And so that's why I thrust it upon you. Yeah. And so there you go. You might have to do, I don't know. I I I just I'm I'm just now just like telling people, so waiting for the next step of solving the homeless crisis, if that indeed is what I'm supposed to do. It was just a very strange. It could have been just I had pizza the night before and it just kind of hit me in a quick nonetheless. At this point, I'm I'm open to the next step. So if anybody has a plan for the solve the homeless crisis, and people keep saying, maybe it's like solving the spiritually homeless crisis. I'm like, okay, here, come to church. Take it. Yeah. Take it. Yeah. So I don't know. Um all that to say, yeah, I I I feel like the Lord has great plans for you, and I can't wait to see what uh that will look like as we move forward, getting to know each other. And I'm just really grateful you've been at our church and uh really looking forward to the ministry that you and Britney collectively have um because of the just the vibrance you guys bring. Thank you. Wherever you go.
SPEAKER_00:It's just I I would say to go back to your question, like probably one of my main uh focuses right now in my heart is just bringing more people to this church. Okay, yeah. Well, hey, that's a win. This is an incredible church. Um and uh uh I've got a uh like a list on my phone of like when I meet a new person, if I can invite them here, I do. And uh if they don't come, I keep them on the list and I and I pray for them and I and I reach out to them weekly to either try to get them to the men's group or to try to show up on Sundays. And so that's that's like my main uh mission right now outside of you know raising kids.
SPEAKER_01:All right, now let's talk this one sec. I I want there's this is gonna this is gonna pass around to someone's gonna get this podcast, and um either it's a mom who is strung out on drugs, they think they're complete failures, um they're they're just like I ruined my kids' life. What challenge, what encouragement could you give to a mom like that?
SPEAKER_00:I think if anyone uh is listening to this and is in that situation, um I'd want you to hear God's voice. I'd want you to hear Jesus telling you right now that I love you, I'm proud of you, and you are mine. Um I think that's where it starts. Yeah. That's and uh if they are in that situation and and y you are a mom that's struggling with that, or uh maybe you you've been on the the tail end of it, um but healing doesn't happen overnight, but uh man, it you would be amazed at what Christ can do in your life, and uh that's where healing starts.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, then on the flip side, what about um a young man just feeling abandoned by parents? Um what would you what advice, what what challenge would you give him?
SPEAKER_00:I tell him the same thing. Um But I'm telling I would tell him it's gonna be alright, you know. I tell him um there's great people around you that really want to help you out and it's okay to ask for help. It's okay uh to be vulnerable and uh you are loved and and you can get through it, and you've got a bright future ahead of you. You've got an amazing opportunity to turn things around for your family and to to change a legacy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids never have to go through what you went through uh if you make the right decisions and get around the right people. That's awesome, bro.
SPEAKER_01:Man, that's encouraging. Can't wait to hear how the story continues to unfold. Hey, thanks so much for watching. If you got any questions, you can text us at 737-231-0605. We'd love to hear from you. Uh, we can bring Matt Badgley back at some point and be like, tell us a follow up on like how you're continuing to transform the world. Uh, we'd love to hear from you as we talk faith, culture, and everything in between. Thanks so much for watching. We'll see you next time. But until then, have an awesome week of worship.