Stop Living on Autopilot: Rewire Your Life (Erin Coupe) - Episode 221

You can look successful on the outside—and still feel like something is missing.

Meet Erin Coupe, founder of Authentically EC, former Wall Street executive, international speaker, and author of I Can Fit That In: How Rituals Transform Your Life.

On the outside, Erin had the life many people dream of—career success, a loving family, and constant professional recognition. But just before her 36th birthday, she found herself asking a question that many high achievers quietly carry inside:

“How can this be it?”

That moment sparked a powerful awakening that led Erin to discover a transformative concept: the difference between routines and rituals.

Instead of piling more productivity hacks onto an already overwhelming schedule, Erin began shifting from rigid routines to intentional rituals—small, meaningful practices that reconnect you with your energy, purpose, and authentic self.

In this conversation, we explore how rituals can rewire your brain, support emotional and mental well-being, and help high-performing professionals move from burnout and autopilot to clarity and fulfillment.

If you’ve ever felt successful on the outside but disconnected on the inside, this episode will give you practical tools to design a life that actually fuels you.

In This Episode We Cover

• The difference between routines vs rituals (and why it matters)
• Why high achievers often feel burned out or disconnected
• How rituals can rewire your brain using neuroscience
• Simple daily rituals that improve energy, focus, and well-being
• The role of authenticity in creating a fulfilling life
• How to shift from autopilot living to intentional living
• Practical ways to transform your day without adding more to your schedule

About Erin Coupe
Erin Coupe is the founder of Authentically EC, an international speaker, leadership advisor, and author of I Can Fit That In: How Rituals Transform Your Life. After a successful career on Wall Street, Erin began exploring the intersection of neuroscience, spirituality, and leadership to help people break free from burnout and design lives rooted in authenticity and purpose.

More with Erin Coupe

• Visit erincoupe.com to find out more about her book, podcast and other offerings.
• Follow Erin @authenticallyec

Visit seekingcentercommunity.com for more with Robyn + Karen and many of the guides on Seeking Center: The Podcast. You'll get access to live weekly sessions, intuitive guidance, daily inspiration, and a space to share your journey with like-minded people who just get it.

You can also follow Seeking Center on Instagram @theseekingcenter.

Transcript

Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to Seeking Center, the podcast. Join us each week as we have the conversations and we, through the spiritual and holistic clutter for you, we'll boil it down to what you need to know now, we're all about total wellness, which to us needs building a healthy life.

Karen: On a physical, mental, and spiritual level, we'll talk to the trailblazers who'll introduce you to the practices, products, and experiences that may be just what you need to hear about to transform your life. If you're listening to this, it's no accident. Think of this as your seeking center and your place to seek your center.

Robyn: And for the best wellness and spiritual practitioners, experts, products, experiences, and inspo, visit theseekingcenter. com. Today we're talking about something What if the answer isn't doing more, but choosing better?

Our guest today is Erin Coupe, founder of Authentically ec, former Wall Street Executive, international speaker and author [00:01:00] of, I Can Fit that in, how Rituals Transform Your Life. On Paper, Erin had everything, a successful corporate career, a happy marriage, two young children, health promotions, recognition, and yet.

Just before her 36th birthday, she found herself sitting with her husband one night asking, how can this be it? There must be more to life. What's the meaning? That question sparked an awakening. What followed wasn't about quitting everything and moving to Bali. It was about something far more practical and far more powerful.

It was about shifting from rigid depleting routines to intentional energizing rituals. It was about rewiring the brain. It was about reclaiming authenticity. It was about going from burnout to breakthrough without adding more to an already overwhelming life. Erin now blends neuroscience leadership strategy, spirituality and lived experience to help high achieving professionals stop operating on autopilot and start designing a life that actually fuels them.

This conversation is for [00:02:00] anyone who looks successful on the outside, but feels disconnected on the inside. Let's get going. Hi, Erin. 

Erin: Hi. I am so happy to be with you all today. 

Karen: Oh, we're so happy to have you here. It's funny, I was listening to Robyn doing the intro and I was thinking to myself, how often do you hear the word authenticity, rituals, and neuroscience?

That's 

Erin: so 

Karen: all together. I cannot wait to dive into this conversation and see how those connect with each other. so welcome. 

Robyn: Yes, and let's go back to that night. That you looked at your husband and said, how can this be it? What was actually going on inside? 

Erin: Do you know what's really funny about that night?

And I reflect on it often ' cause it was such a pivotal time. When you're moving through something like that, you don't realize how big it is and the gravity of it. But in hindsight, everything's very clear. What was moving through me at that time was not. Something that I thought about, it was something that I was feeling and saying those [00:03:00] words that night was the first time that I actually articulated something I was feeling deep within.

 Before that, I was very good at articulating a lot of things that I thought about. I'm thinking something, I say something like, it was very black and white, very linear, and what I wasn't great at was really understanding my own emotional self and my heart and what was in there and how to speak from that I would say it was the first time that I realized there was something else in me, a different voice that was coming forth, because even when the words rolled outta my mouth, My husband's going, are you okay?

Robyn: Sure. 

Erin: You just now poured a glass of wine, like you haven't even had any yet.

And I was thinking, no, I'm good. I don't know where this is coming from, but let's roll with this. 

Karen: And what made you say it out loud? 

Erin: I don't, I can't tell you anything except for it was that inner voice It just wanted to unleash itself. It wanted to speak up, and it did, and it was obviously a safe space with my husband while he did look at me like I was nuts for a little bit, [00:04:00] we did end up having a very deep conversation and I write about this in the book, but I think that was the first time that I spoke from such a deep place and I gave words to what I was feeling, not just what I was thinking. And in doing so.

It allowed me to start to listen a little to that part of me. 

Robyn: so many of us actually go through that, and that's why this conversation is so important. And then the actions that you took afterwards are so important for everybody listening, because I do believe at some point we all, and for every person, it's a different age.

Yeah. I was actually in my. Thirties when I started to ask those questions too. it's like, Why are we here? What is the point? And I think so many of us are on autopilot for so long thinking that we need to achieve something . But then you reach it and you're like, okay, now what?

And why isn't that so fulfilling? And I think in your case, your childhood was. Was [00:05:00] really challenging and so I'd love for you to just talk a little bit about. What happened and that resilience that you had to build up, 

Erin: oh yes. 

Robyn: and we're gonna talk about all the things that came out. 

Erin: I know there's so much to it. The introduction of the book is so important because I really needed to help. Everyone that does not know me, does not know anything about my background, my career, none of that.

I needed to help them as a reader. Get why I'm the one to write this book, , and why it is that I am the best person to guide them on this journey. And you have to do that really well in an introduction by taking people on that journey of what it is to know Erin Coupe.

And if we go back to early in my childhood, my father was terminally ill since he was 45 and I was five years old. And he woke up one day paralyzed from the waist down and after very long hospital stays, which were in the veterans hospital system because we were a blue collar family before that, without, a lot of [00:06:00] means but, doing just fine while all of a sudden your dad is disabled in the hospital, he has terminal disease, lupus of the worst severity, guillain barre syndrome, it was awful. Once he did walk again, he was in a wheelchair for years and then he was with a walker and then with a cane, and he was on All of that kind of stuff you can imagine for a young little girl. Is very challenging to have, to be a caretaker and to help out.

My mom made a lot of bad choices and they were choices that she was making in order to try to sustain her family and to give us food and shelter. she was gone a lot as a kid, when you have to really raise yourself it's survival, When you find a way where you cope with life and you just get by, there's so much adversity in that. There's so much hardship, but there's also, there's no one else to light the way. There's no one else to say, you know what, gosh, you're having a rough go here kid.

Let me help you. There is none of that. You're on your own. And a lot of [00:07:00] people do have those stories in some way, shape, or form. And mine was very early in life and, i'd like to think that maybe I got that out of the way and I don't have to face a ton of adversity in the future, but you know what?

We don't get to choose do we? But , I would say the grit and the perseverance having such a tumultuous, trauma informed childhood. Me also know that there is something deeper to life. And it's funny because. The 36th birthday scenario is like the real wake up call.

But in reality, there are so many situations in my life where something else was guiding me, like something deep, some wisdom, some knowledge that was. Not learned. It was just intrinsic and that intuitive voice that spoke up that night was just the one saying, we're gonna break out of this armor that you have had to build in order to cope and survive, because you don't have to do that anymore.

 You are [00:08:00] safe. 

Karen: I can see a listener, a lot of people listening could say, once you're in that armor it's so hard to break out of that. That becomes your norm. That becomes actually your safety. And I think the fact that you had that courage, maybe it was that safe space with your husband.

Maybe you had gotten to that place in your life where you felt safe enough to be able to speak up. But just for me as a listener, Erin, like I think that's incredible that you were able to first of all, hear that voice in your head, but then make that brave leap of saying, okay, I'm gonna make a change.

I'm gonna do something different. 

Erin: And it's not easy. Courage I think is something that is often a choice, Because it's very easy to choose to not speak up, to not hear that, and to ignore that to suppress it even. And. I realized there were definitely times in my life where I had done that, especially in my twenties on Wall Street.

There were many times my body was speaking up because it was getting so loud that, the things [00:09:00] that I was dealing with every day and putting myself through and the ways that I was treating myself, it was not okay. And I had a lot of these symptoms and signs and voices that would tell me those things, but it was way easier to just act like they're not there.

Than it was to do something with them for a while, and I consider myself so grateful that I did finally listen to that, and it did come out. But also the choices courageously that I made after that are so important and way harder than actually just speaking those words that night. And having a fairly philosophical conversation with my husband that was completely unplanned.

It was some of the things I started to take on afterwards and the ways that I started to notice the world around me and the relationships and the opportunities and just the way that I moved through this planet afterwards was different. And it all required courage ' cause I had to look at everything in just a new way.

Now did I necessarily know [00:10:00] consciously what was happening? No, I didn't. It wasn't all conscious. A lot of it was just, I'm gonna choose better because I want to be a better mother. I want to be a better partner. I want to be a better leader, and I wanna be better to myself, right? Like This is what it is. I finally had the courage to look in the mirror and point the finger at me. 

Robyn: Getting to that point, 

 how would you say for people listening, this idea of being disconnected from yourself feels how did that show up?

Erin: Yeah, that's a great question. there's so much to that because the first thing that comes to mind is that what it feels like is that life feels pretty hollow. I remember just so many days, commuting and just walking from like the train station to the office or driving in the car and doing the same hour long drive.

Everything just feels monotonous. It feels like Groundhogs Day phil, is that you? Yes. You 

Robyn: know, it's a thousand percent. 

Erin: it's that rinse and repeat hamster wheel feeling where it's is this all my life is ever gonna be.

 [00:11:00] maybe I put some new stuff in it here and there, and a couple of new people here and there, and is that it?

Is that what we're here to do is just like accumulate things it feels hollow, yeah, there has to be something more.

Karen: And probably too, because you worked so hard to get to where you were. And you got yourself through college.

You got this great career, you did all the things that everybody said that you were supposed to do. To reap the rewards of all that labor. And then there you are. 

Erin: Yes. 

Karen: Questioning everything. 

Robyn: And even more Erin, like for you In your family, like you were the first to go to college, With the background that you had in terms of your childhood, there wasn't anyone in particular for you to look up to. Like you had to actually pave this way on your own and figure that out and you did. And then I think to your point, even if you weren't conscious of it, there were these whispers that were.

Guiding you along the way in this very successful career. Then you have it and you're like, okay. [00:12:00] Like my husband and I always, I don't know if people remember there was a Dunkin Donuts commercial that was this man, and he'd be every morning going to time to make the donuts. And we go through life sometimes where we have these periods where it does feel that rinse and repeat and we have to, we stop and go.

Time to make the donuts. what do we need to change here? 'cause this is feeling too monotonous and hollow, as you said.

Karen: And for you Erin, it was probably that feeling of safety, right? Yeah. It's oh, I have the career. Yes, I have the money coming in. I have the identity now, so I am safe.

So why would I wanna leave the safety, even though it may feel hollow? 

Why would I wanna leave the safety of this? This job and career and recognition that I'm getting, 

Erin: Yeah. Especially when I was at Goldman, I was there through my twenties and I resigned at 30 years old because I did officially hit burnout.

but I was living in it for a long time. And I did stay because yes, it was safety, it was security. It was the promise of making a ton of money. In reality, what I made was like six [00:13:00] bucks an hour. 

Robyn: Oh when you really think about it, it's so true. 

Erin: I would hold out for an annual bonus and then be disappointed even at that as a top performer.

But, hey, I. Got to that point where I'm like, I'm just done. Finance found me. I didn't find it. I don't have to stay here. I'm gonna figure out something else. I'm very smart person. I'm very driven. I'll do something different with my career. And so yes, I stayed in corporate and I'm a corporate person.

Like I don't think the corporate world is a bad place. It's the people in it that make it a bad place at times. So my whole mission is like I help the corporate people be better people. That's the cloth that I feel like I am cut from when it comes to my adulthood. And yeah, I spent 17 years in it.

But choosing to move on from that overall was a choice that. I'm onto something here, like I have transformed my life in so many ways I don't want to believe in some sort of elitism where only the people at the top get to behave this way and have these tools and skillsets where.

They keep them as a secret to themselves [00:14:00] and it's their secret sauce. I'm like, no. Why can't everyone have these kinds of tools and these kinds of human skills that really move the needle for them? So like that mission that I realized I had was so deep and it came from all of these things in my career, in my life leading up to.

Okay, I am gonna listen to myself. I am intuitive. I can understand that there is something moving through me that wants to speak and wants to share, and wants to guide. And I can own that, When I was at a place like Goldman, I didn't listen to any of that. I was so burned out.

You're leaving a place like Goldman when you're 30 years old. Everyone looks at you and judges you and they think, why would you? Walk away from something so coveted. 

And oh my gosh, do you know how many people would want your job? And I remember thinking they can have it.

Robyn: You get to that point, you really do. 

Erin: You get to that point. Yes. back to that hollow like disconnected feeling. It's also where. I was looking at some of the money around me, and I was [00:15:00] young, I was on my track for vp, I was an associate when I left there, and so I was doing well, but I wasn't making like the big bucks.

But I was working in a environment where people had so much money and I just remember thinking like. don't think that's the key to happiness. ' cause these people don't seem that happy. Really? 

Robyn: What a lesson. So that was 

Erin: an important lesson. 

Robyn: Yes. That is. 

And then you've figured out that you don't have to actually do more to actually be happy . Which, if you think about you lived most of your life, like just doing. And then How did you start to figure out that you could, as you say, choose better? Rather than doing more and feel more fulfilled. 

Erin: Yeah. This is so funny. There were moments that I recall so much where I would purposely choose the opposite of what I used to do.

 And this was like an unfolding, none of this was overnight. It was slow. Yeah. Tell us how 

Robyn: Yeah. What happened. 

Erin: Yeah. So initially what it was after that conversation, with Craig, and I was [00:16:00] in a VP executive role in a Fortune one 40 company.

I was commuting 10 hours a week and my kids were real young, not even one and two. But what was happening? Within me is that I was starting to notice parts of myself that I maybe had shunned before and I certainly had not embraced, and I had stuffed them down and I acted like they weren't there.

A lot of that was parts of my story, parts of my background that I was ashamed of. And that I held so much shame and guilt around. And as we know. The emotional frequency of shame and guilt is really low vibe. And so that had a grip on me for a very long time. That was the first step.

I had to unravel some limiting beliefs, and I did that by way of, first of all, I read a lot of books on this stuff and then I started working with certain practices from the books, and then I, was making choices to do things like journal. And really write my thoughts down and start to understand myself and why I think this, and why I feel that.

And what does it mean and where does it come from. And by the way, do I [00:17:00] believe what is in my mind right now? Because I don't have to believe it, and if I don't wanna believe it, what do I want to believe? And so a lot of that rewiring was happening over time while I was also making new choices.

I was making choices to get up earlier. So I had time alone. There was no time in my day. Where I was alone ever. And that bothered me. But what's so funny is that before all of this, I thought I can't be alone. No, being alone is like not a good thing. If you're not alone, you don't matter, and that's not good. So you have to constantly be busy. And be around people and things and doing something. So that was unfolding at the same time of kind of rewiring myself and making these choices of meditation in the morning. It was like, I wanna spend five to 10 minutes just with my eyes closed.

Not lying down and sleeping, but awake and focusing on what it is I want in my life. What are my goals and what's my vision, and that kind of stuff. And of course, as I would do [00:18:00] that, as I would meditate and I would journal and I'm reading more and I'm working on myself, I'm learning so much, I'm developing so much self-awareness as I call it, activating that self-awareness.

I believe we all have it. It just goes dormant because other things get in the way. But as I'm activating that self-awareness, over time, my behaviors are shifting and I'm becoming more calm and more patient and less reactionary. And so all of those choices were leading to this shift in my patterns of reaction and in my behavior.

And those choices are so important. When I say something like, choose opposite. if I used to every Friday, this is all before COVID, obviously go to the office and not feel like I wanted to have many meetings. ' cause I would always keep my Fridays very meeting light.

But I would just be there and I had to be in the office and just crank out as many emails as I can. but I needed to be physically there, like people needed to see me. No, they didn't. That was not something I put that story in my head. And so I started [00:19:00] to work from home on Fridays before people really did that.

And it was definitely an adjustment, but I thought, I am not asking for permission. I'll beg for forgiveness later if I need to. So if someone wants to call me out for not being there. Go for it, but no one ever did. So instead, Fridays, I would do the emails in the morning, but the choice I would make, which is the opposite, is the afternoons.

I spent that on myself or on the house or on running errands. So I had more time on the weekends to do things with my family that I wanted to do. I would purposely choose something that I know at work they're probably like, oh my gosh, where's Erin? She's usually here on Fridays. They had to get used to a new version of me that I was also getting used to.

 I was setting a boundary without articulating that boundary verbally. But it was a boundary with myself first and foremost. 

Karen: Oh, isn't that interesting? 

 We're always thinking that it has to be other people we're keeping at bay, but you're so right. It is looking within.

 I wanna ask you about that word, authenticity, Erin and how do you define that for yourself? 'cause I think [00:20:00] people use that word a lot, but I'd love to know what it means to you. 

Erin: I always crack up because. There was a client I worked with several years ago in 2021 where it was a leadership team and it was it's male dominant, right?

That's pretty much every business in the world. And this one guy, he'd been at this company like 35 years, he's an engineer, and we were doing a whole session on authenticity and the authentic self, and he raises his hand. He said if I'm just a jerk. That's just how I behave. That's being authentic.

'cause that's just who I am. And I was like, oh boy. 

Robyn: Oh my God. 

Erin: I'm like thinking we do not have enough time to talk about the ego and oh my 

Robyn: goodness. 

Erin: So I was like, Nope, that's not true. I'm like, you and I can talk another time offline, but let's come back to this. And it's also not showing up in spaghetti straps at the office That's also not authenticity. So I'm like, that's. Self-expression, but that is not authenticity. So what authenticity means to me is being true to [00:21:00] yourself. The thing is yourself has to be who you truly are in your heart, in your soul, and your spirit. It's who are you as that spark or that light that shines without.

Needing to need something from someone or get recognition or feel some sort of reinforcement or validation, but just the you that you consistently are underneath all of the performance, underneath all of the metrics. It's just your essence, What's hard for many people with that, and I think why authenticity gets defined as all these other things, a lot of people don't know what that part of them is.

Robyn: I think most people don't, 

Erin: right? And they only identify with what's in their mind, With the voice of their ego. And by the way, the ego isn't always a bad thing. It's we need our ego in order to socially interact in this world. And we're social creatures.

So the ego's a good thing. But unfortunately, when we only live in the mind [00:22:00] and we. Identify only in the mind with that voice or that ego. That's where it gets a bad rap, Because then it's in the driver's seat and it's not truly who we are. It's just a part of us. So authenticity, the authentic self is who are you at your core?

Robyn: Yes. And to me, you were able to get there with all these tiny shifts and by also starting to heal. 

Erin: Yes. 

Robyn: Because it is the layers that you have to get through to really know and to trust you really are. 

Erin: That is so true. one of the biggest things that I say to people about this is being able to be vulnerable, There's a difference between feeling vulnerable around somebody and choosing to be vulnerable. 

And I always point that out 'cause it's so important. If you feel vulnerable around someone, that's probably your intuition telling you, Hey, their energy isn't for you. So listen to that. But if you choose to be vulnerable around someone, a friend, a family member, someone in your community where you're choosing to [00:23:00] confide and you're choosing to shine light on some of these scars that you hold in your heart.

For me, it was a lot of my childhood stuff, When I finally started to share that with people, and I was choosing wisely where I shared it, but when I finally chose. To just let that part of me out and let some light and those cracks, that helped me be more authentic. Totally. Because I was embracing some of that rather than stuffing it down.

Robyn: definitely. Because it's scary. to share those parts that you've told yourself are not as good as something else, or you can go on and on. That's just your own story, even not the truth of it. 

Karen: We miss these opportunities to shine light where people need it, right?

 Being able to be vulnerable and showing that our lives aren't perfect allows people to be open about their own, and that's where real connection and healing can actually happen. 

Erin: Yes. That's so true. feel like the more that you do. Talk about those things, the more that people see that, humanness [00:24:00] in you and then they do feel more connected and honestly they feel more interested. if everything is just the performance stuff and just the metrics and like you can go on LinkedIn and look at someone's credibility, if it's only that and it's so surface level, what is there to that?

where's the depth?

Robyn: That's right. 

Erin: That's a huge thing that also happened for me and Robin. I know you and I have chatted about this, but yeah. All of a sudden having conversations with people as I was moving through so much of that transformation. And I believe we're always transforming.

It's just, there are times when it's deeper, more intense than others. There's 

Robyn: more there. 

Erin: And as I was moving through that really intense time, I'm all of a sudden having these conversations with people that were so rewarding. There, there was such depth that I'm like.

Gosh, I didn't even know there was this whole side of life that I was not connected with in my adult life at that point. 

Robyn: Totally. 

Karen: Erin, can you just explain then, after you had that wine with your husband on your birthday, did you decide, did you just decide to leave your job and start over?

Erin: Oh, gosh, no. It couldn't [00:25:00] be further from that. 

Karen: tell us 

Erin: just 

Karen: a little bit about that part of the journey 

Erin: how, 

Robyn: yeah, and then how you started to infuse ritual. 

Erin: So Ritual was infused because one of the things I started to do during that process when I was making new choices. it was looking at some of the habits I had built that I wanted to change, Some of the, as simple as I was consuming news all the time. What I did is ritualize the way I take in information. So I started to choose where I pull information from any news source into my own mind.

I call that mental consumption. I became very aware of the fact that I had. I've gotten into this rut, this autopilot routine where every morning the news is on as I'm getting ready, as I'm rushing into my day, And then I'm reading the breaking news on my phone while I'm on the train or in the car or riding as my husband drives, down to the city.

Or when I get home, the news is on in the background. As I'm cooking dinner, when I go to bed, I'm watching the national news it was constant. So I was like, wait a minute, why am I just allowing everything to come at me? it is controlling my [00:26:00] mood. I would arrive at the office every day in a bad mood.

So at once I don't believe in super cold Turkey with things unless unless someone has a problem with something. But I was just like, okay, some moments of the day I'm gonna remove this and I'm gonna see how I feel. So I started with my mornings. I consumed no news.

Not on the train, not at home. There was nothing coming at me. I unsubscribed from all the alerts and I thought, I'm gonna give this a go and see how this feels. Within a couple of weeks, my mood completely improved. 

And consistently. Oh, wow. It wasn't just one day, it was consistently, I did not feel like crap when I walked into the office.

 when I say I ritualized information, like I ritualized the way that I go about consuming the information, then I was choosing what news sources I'm going to read. It wasn't the mainstream stuff not doing this anymore. Even the screen I'm like, I can't look at this.

It was like my nervous system was able to finally relax from all of that intake. So rituals became something that were so much about. Everyday things I was doing, but I'm going to do them in a way that's intentional. 

 [00:27:00] And also things like consuming my coffee, I used to just pop into Starbucks on the way to the train, grab the coffee and go, but. It didn't ever do anything for me. Yeah. I was just doing it on habit. Totally. I didn't even, I didn't even like the coffee to be honest, so I started to make my own coffee at home. And I would grind the beans and sometimes I'd grind them the night before and then it would, the coffee maker would be already so that when I got up and did my meditation, I would then go and get my cup of coffee and I'd sit down and journal and that became a beautiful ritual where it was time with myself, but also a very intentional sip of my coffee.

Like it tasted different because there was more presence with it. so things like that are where those rituals came in and I was saying to myself, I can fit in what matters to me. it matters to me to make my coffee. It matters to me what I'm putting in my brain. It matters to me what I eat.

It matters to me how I connect with my family. all of these things became rituals and I used that word to really help me [00:28:00] anchor what choices I was making and why. The intentionality was the key, like being so intentional with what I allowed in where I gave my energy, my time, my attention, how I was refilling myself every day.

'cause I knew what it was like to be depleted and I knew the resentment that leaked out everywhere, and I knew how awful it felt to be. That hollow, shallow person that just feels is this really it? And that didn't feel good, and I didn't behave like the person I wanted to behave like.

So all of those things I was doing, and They were very slow. But as I was working on all these things in myself, I'm healing. I'm transforming my mindset, rewiring my brain, like all of that is adding up. I would say it was about 18 months before I really had the epiphany of I'm onto something here.

Robyn: And which I'm glad you're sharing that. 'cause the point is it took a little bit of time. 

Erin: Exactly right. And I always say people please don't quit your day [00:29:00] job. that's not wise. It's just not right. Because we all like planet Earth, we are, have to earn money to live that is a given.

That's not changing on this planet. There may be other planets where that's the case. And it's okay. Like our livelihood. Depends on that exchange of value, We give time and thought, and we give energy in exchange for money that we earn. That's a beautiful thing. That's not something we need to fight, But it is a reality. So rather than going, gosh, I'm onto something here. I'm gonna leave my job and I'm gonna go figure it out. No. What I did is I started talking about a lot of the work I had done on myself. I started sharing this in articles on LinkedIn. This was before there was a feed. It was just articles only.

So I was publishing articles about these human skills, about this transformation, about some of the things that go on in the professional world and how we can be better and we can do better. We can treat each other better. So as I was writing that, so it's here [00:30:00] is that voice, right? These words from my authentic self are starting to articulate into the real world because now I've got this voice that I do listen to all the time.

So I courageously chose to share my perspectives and to do that publicly. then within time I'm asked to go and speak at companies where these executives are noticing my articles, they're being shared with them, or I'm already connected to that person and they're like, this is good stuff.

Will you come talk at our town hall? This is so inspiring. So then I do that and I'm being asked to work with a group of executives and do some group coaching, and then I get asked to work with a women's network and do some workshops and it just turned into something organically that I did not plan for, but it was also so me.

That it just became glaringly obvious. So I would say start to finish. It was about two and a half years from the moment I chose to start to really work on myself, and then I was experiencing transformation, and then I started to [00:31:00] vocalize and articulate that, and then I stepped full time into offering this to the world.

Karen: it's so inspiring Robin and I talk about this all the time. I think so many of us feel like in order to transform our lives we really do need to do that Bali pivot like Robin talked about in the very beginning I have to do this radical shift and this whole idea of the GPS right, where if you pivot just a little bit and try.

One or two things like, and I love what you were sharing about, just the coffee alone. That's something that we all do and I can see myself running through Penn Station doing the same thing. 

those little things can have such. A monumental impact. On our day, on our frequency.

 And who we are and the outcomes that 

Erin: work. A hundred percent. And that's so much of what I write in the book it's these small intentional choices that add up. They compound, Just like your 401k, your Roth higher a it compounds, And so it's like you're earning interest on all these little shifts. That you make for yourself and they serve you. and they serve your [00:32:00] relationships and your connections. They serve the depth of your soul, And if you just choose. Even once a day, something different.

Even if it's the way you talk to yourself, it can be internal. It doesn't have to be a physical action. But these little shifts will serve you over time and they will add up. So I always say you don't start at ground zero. if there's one day where you're so off kilter you have those days, we're human, it's okay.

Tomorrow's a new one. Pick back up at that point. And set an intention for your morning the next day. 

And go from that place. 

Robyn: And I just keep thinking that the more you can vocalize it 

To yourself and to someone that you trust, the more it's gonna work.

the fact that you were able to say that to your husband, let's say. there's something to that too. 

Erin: Yes. No I think that. Maybe in a way there's like a little bit of like accountability, and some people might look at it like that.

Like they need an accountability partner. 

Robyn: Yeah. 

Erin: Which is a great thing, if you can vocalize it, by the way, I also think vocalizing it just by writing it down in your [00:33:00] journal. Is fantastic. 

If someone doesn't have someone that they feel like they can share that with, that's okay.

Do it in your journal, but just get it out. Get 

Robyn: it out. The more you can get it out, cause it's energy that's stuck in you. 

Erin: Yes. And and I want your listeners to know that, it wasn't like I was sharing things with my husband and then I'm making these new choices and I'm having these kind of shifts happen.

 It wasn't super obvious to me in the beginning that it, I was shifting, but then my husband was saying to me, gosh, you seem so much more patient, more calm, or, you reacted in a way that you normally wouldn't You would've been irate before and now you were just a little upset, and so he was noticing these things, but he also wasn't the person as I was saying, Hey, I don't wanna watch Netflix every night anymore. I want to read, and when I became so into reading and journaling and I did this at night, or I wanna take a salt bath and once the kids are down, I'm just gonna take a salt bath and read for an hour.

He's kinda like. Where's my wife? 

Robyn: Right? 

Erin: Don't we usually sit on the couch, have a glass of wine and watch a show? And so [00:34:00] that was something that he also had to get used to. My new ways of being, my new choices and, Over time it became so beautiful because our connection has become deeper and deeper over time not overnight, and I'm so big on, it's not overnight, but over time we became so much more connected and he works in my business now.

He joined me a year and a half ago. Did I ever see that coming? No. But because of my shifts and the way that I transformed who I was, it impacted our marriage, our family, the entire dynamics and trajectory of our future. Being whole and showing up as that whole person, no longer pointing the finger at him or at motherhood, or the person on the road, or 

Robyn: Exactly.

Erin: Whoever I used to blame. 

Robyn: That's huge, 

Erin: Yeah. Before I healed, I was pointing the finger at everybody, 

It's you.

Robyn: I actually think That is the core. to understanding that when you start to do this work and start to become more self-aware, you really do understand and take accountability for your own actions.

 So that you can change [00:35:00] them. 

Erin: You're so right. And I mean it's way too easy to blame everybody and everything. It's so easy. And that is the rut that a lot of people find themselves in,

 And they're resentful because they're not being true to who they are. And instead they're just letting everything around them, control them and direct them and distract them and they're mad at themselves.

I was very mad at myself for years. I didn't have to behave that way. I didn't have to feel that way. But instead, I chose not to listen, until I did. 

Karen: it is deep down that you're returning yourself in that way. 'cause you're not being Who you really are.

Exactly. And it's just a good deflector 

Erin: Yes. To not 

Karen: Self 

Erin: betrayal. Great word. 

Karen: I'm fascinated about the neuroscience aspect. you studied that for business and you applied that a lot too. It probably helps in corporate conversations too for people who are wanting to make shifts in their lives and feel maybe the scientific approach might be less woo for them to try.

Talk about how wiring your brain and [00:36:00] neuroscience and all these things really help us to achieve these shifts in our lives and how you use it. 

Erin: What's so interesting is that. As I was moving through a lot of these transformations, I mean there were very much like practical things I was doing, like I've to you with the journaling and rewiring my limiting beliefs, all of that stuff.

And it's very practical. But I wanted to know why it works. ' cause that's how I am. I'm a details person. and so I'm like, I now know this works because I've done this and I have practiced this for some time and I've noticed these changes and I am thinking differently and all of that stuff that's happening.

I'm like. But why, does it work? And so that's where I was like, I wanna learn what is actually taking place in the brain when we do these things, When we make these shifts and these intentional choices, and we rewire the way that we think literally by talking to ourselves differently or by creating a vision board and looking at images and so what I learned.

I would say in a nutshell, yes, it helped in the corporate world, but there's a [00:37:00] credibility that I bring to the work I do because I am the corporate person, So the way that I talk about this stuff, there's nothing woo about it. I ground the information so much for people that it's in the relatable stories that they're like, whoa, they can see themselves in me and in the stories I share.

And therefore they look at me and go if it worked for her, it'll work for me. And that's absolutely true and people have to have that connection emotionally to what you are teaching them in order for them to want to practice something that you're teaching them now, if I was someone and there's nothing wrong with going off to Bali to live or going to an ASAM for six months or whatever, that's not my life, I'm a mom. I've got a mortgage. I'm a doer. I'm that person. And so that was not my path, but my path, just because it's corporate doesn't mean that I can't have these aspects to myself that I then. Want to share with others. So neuroscience helped a little bit with being able to help people understand what is actually taking place in your brain.

 when you meditate, like what is [00:38:00] happening, you're creating space, You're allowing things to flow through rather than to just sit there. You're allowing things to move. And when you create space and allow things to move, new things can come in ideas and visions, and all of a sudden you've gotta.

 A way of talking to yourself that's new. There's all kinds of stuff that happens that's beautiful in meditation, and we experience that in our hearts, but in the mind it's that space that's happening, and I think for people to know that there's real change happening in the brain. Helps it land better for them when they're going to take on a new practice or they're gonna try something like meditation, or they're gonna look at a limiting belief and they're going to work on reframing that into something that serves them, not limits them.

Robyn: And if you can actually, as you're doing, you can speak to it, but then as they practice, they feel different. 

Erin: Yes. Because it works, Yes, it works. the coolest part about the work that I do is when people have those [00:39:00] transformations or those aha moments and they go, gosh, I look back at who I was even three weeks ago, and I'm like, I don't feel like I'm her or him any longer.

And I always say I feel like I've lived like 10 lives in this lifetime. I look back at who I was and I'm like, wow. she feels so distant to me. 

Robyn: it's the words that you choose to speak both to yourself and to others. 

Make such a difference. And then it helps you have a, just a completely different perspective.

 then you, can't unsee this new. Part. So you literally see things differently 

Erin: you literally do and your perspectives change. that veil, comes off I did a post about this once and it was so powerful.

It's like the Wizard of Oz when everything's black and white and the tornado, and the house lands and it's just, everything's chaotic. That is what life feels like until you start to choose differently and you start to work on you and become more self-aware, then all of a sudden the world is more colorful.

And you literally notice colors more and you notice the [00:40:00] birds and the caterpillars and the sounds and all of these things you can see more clearly. It's profound. 

Robyn: I love that visual. Such a good one. 

Karen: Is there anything in particular that stands out to you? from those corporate interactions?

what's an aha from one of those that, that you walked away with that maybe even surprised you? 

Erin: so I love being with groups of people. So I do a ton of speaking and a ton of workshops. Now. It's not always like people in a workshop are electing to be there. Sometimes it's just i'm being hired by the executive and they're like, Hey, we're gonna do this workshop or this series of workshops.

And so I can pretty quickly, as an intuitive, understand like the energy of people that maybe don't wanna be there, The ones that feel like they just have to be in the room. I don't focus too much on that. I understand that, the work that I'm doing is purposeful and it's meaningful for who.

Is open and ready to receive. But we're not doing things like holding hands and singing songs. this is stuff where I'm teaching them certain skill sets and the conceptual [00:41:00] learning behind that, that is gonna help them apply it in their daily lives, and then they can start to understand, oh, this is gonna help me personally and professionally.

maybe I wanna give this a shot now. When I'm with a team of people or group of people for an extended period of time, that's where I get to see the transformations. That's where they can share, Hey, I've been working with that tool that you taught us and this is what's happening for me.

Or my wife noticed that this is changing, or she, my husband said to me that I'm behaving differently. Or, oh my gosh, I feel more connected with my kids now because I feel more present in the evenings. all those things are happening and then sometimes people's businesses. Totally changed, like this happened in my own real estate business.

I was attracting clients that were dream clients. And before I didn't think I deserved them. I wasn't capable of servicing them. Who knows what it was. But there were a lot of limits where I wasn't being my true self and I wasn't attracting what was meant for me because I had that armor around me.

 All of a sudden people start to have these transformations and they [00:42:00] go, gosh, as a salesperson it's always been really hard, such a struggle, such a, hassle to get really good clients. And I've been attracting more of them recently. It's wow, look at that. So those things happen for people and it's super practical, 

 a practical, and those are tangible outcomes. Yes. but again, it's not overnight, it's just not. And I would say the deepest work that I do is I have a private cohort that I run. It is so transformational and the neatest thing is six weeks long. People's faces on Zoom in the first meeting.

And I record these, And at the end I play back. A little bit of the first zoom. They all have so much more light in their faces. Their shoulders are relaxed. Their whole demeanor is different, like their energy. Of course, we know we can feel energy through the screen. Their energy is so different at the end than when they began and what they came in with, like they are literally lighter people.

 That to me is like such a true testament. And of course I have all these testimonials where people talk about [00:43:00] this stuff and I was just the conduit. You're the ones doing the work. 

Robyn: that is key too, You are the conduit. and as the person you do it, is you doing the work?

Yes. But the reward Is really priceless. truth. The freedom. 

Freedom. My gosh. 

Karen: And it's a good reminder for all of us too. as we talk about a affirmations and manifestation and all those things it really does start with you and your energy.

And if you're in that place of, not feeling good about yourself or trying to wear this mask of somebody that you really aren't. It's gonna in everything in your world. But doing these things that are really I love your word, authenticity that are your real self.

Without the ego, just being that essence of who you are 

Is gonna make your life completely different. 

Erin: a hundred percent. 

Robyn: Before we go, what's one ritual that you would recommend to somebody that they could potentially start tomorrow? 

Erin: I would love for people to just start simple and set an intention every morning.

What do you [00:44:00] want your day to feel like? And that's important. What do you want it to feel like? 

Because too many times we get heady, And we go straight to thoughts and it's oh, what do I intend? I intend that I'm going to, work out and I'm going to eat, 50 grams of protein and I'm gonna do a cold plunge.

And no, don't go there. those are activities, but what do you intend to feel? 

Robyn: That is awesome. Yes. I hope everybody starts to do that tomorrow. Thank you so much, Erin. And so what's the best way for people to find out more about working with you Sure. And finding your book. 

Erin: thank you.

Erin coupe.com, so it's E-R-I-N-C-O-U-P e.com. That is my website. You can find the book on there under the book and the menu. You can also find the book on every online retailer from Amazon to Barnes and Noble Books, million. You name it. So buy it wherever you like. And then as far as my work, everything's on the website, but you can also follow me on Instagram at Authentically EC and on LinkedIn under Erin Coup 

Robyn: Thank you so much, Erin. 

Erin: You're welcome. Robin and Karen, it was [00:45:00] lovely to be with 

Robyn: you, a rich conversation that I think will be transformative for a lot of people. Thank you for being brave and doing what you're doing. Really 

Erin: grateful. Yes. You're so welcome. Thanks for seeing me. I appreciate it.