Who Would Watch This?
Who Would Watch This?
Who Would Watch 'The Last House'?
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The Last House! Yep, that's it. It's all gone. That's the last one.
A family of four are trapped inside their house by an evil rain thing. It's number one on Netflix, so we've all seen it, but Oscar and Carl watch it to figure out who would watch this.
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My name is Oscar. My name is Carl. And this is who would watch this.
SPEAKER_00Welcome to who'd watch this podcast. We'd watch a film, chat with the film, and then try and figure out who'd watch this.
SPEAKER_01Today we're talking about The Last House, which currently has 22% on Run Tomatoes, a 5.5% on IMDB, and a 2.2 on Letterboxd. Oscar, what's the plot?
SPEAKER_00Carl, it's COVID again. Uh-oh. But it's the rain this time. It's not the fake pandemic, you know? That's what I'm saying. That's right. That's what this podcast is all about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, we've got facts and figures, and we want to share emojis.
SPEAKER_01We've been clocking COVID. Yeah. Putting COVID on blast.
SPEAKER_00Alright. People said it couldn't be done. Six years later, we've got we've got new figures, you know? It's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Uh if this film had actually come out during COVID, it would be an even bigger mega hit. I think so. Have you seen how much of a hit this movie is?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I couldn't believe it. It's crazy. Because we got a lovely email uh from Daniel uh saying that We love Daniel. We love Daniel. He's the beautiful opera singer that offered us uh opera tickets. So it's good stuff. Uh he and his wife had watched it and said, hey, this is dog shit. Yeah you guys should do it. It's perfect.
SPEAKER_01It's perfect for those fuckers in Australia. You think those guys watch garbage all the time? This is some great garbage for that.
SPEAKER_00It is nice because I feel like we haven't done a Netflix film in so long. I forgot how good they can be. They are real and I've and maybe this is the first one that's kind of broken contamination. I don't have Netflix, not like a moral. Neither, I've gotten rid of Netflix too. I just my parents have that they haven't upgraded to the you know, I'm stealing Netflix.
SPEAKER_01Nobody can afford to share in this economy, and I can't afford to be like, because they've only got crap.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's it's it is just all crap now, which is crazy. And it's good they've got their own products, but they've gone we've gone for crap.
SPEAKER_01Not sitting back with a cigarette being like, I need to watch Roma. I've got a Jonesing for Roma and marriage stories.
SPEAKER_00I do love they squirt out just like an Oscar season, like, but three of the best films like we bought most of the ones from Cart.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They give us a bulk package. They're just like, it's gonna get talked about, but not win.
SPEAKER_01They're like, it's train dreams. Yeah. We pay $22.99 a month for train dreams.
SPEAKER_00And maybe all did. Maybe all did. My dad was like, let's get you that big package, let's get train dreams on that. Carl, normally we do last week, uh, we do like a you know, who you think we'd watch this? We didn't record it.
SPEAKER_01Well, no, and I mean one, because we decided to just pivot and do this email, but and also because I think the movie's got great relevancy. Yeah, uh, I did see that it's hit 52 million people watched it in its first weekend. Which is fucking nuts.
SPEAKER_00I like that. That's a way better way. Was Netflix be like 20 billion minutes watched? Like I'm I'm just in my math going, so divide it by 200, I guess. Yeah. It's a three-hour flick, believe it or not.
SPEAKER_01I reckon they've done something cheeky where they've gone, uh people were dividing like the film's running time by the minutes. Yeah. But really, more people had watched it because they were only tracking like two minutes or three minutes and stuff like that. And so I reckon now it's like a bigger number. Yeah. If they say if they estimate who's watched it versus the minutes. Yeah, they're just like. So I actually think it's cheeky.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they're just like whatever looks nicer. But yeah, this is a smash hit. Uh good for Greta. Because I saw Greta Lee was on like a bunch of podcasts. I'm like, what's Greta Lee got going on? This and Wagnamor now. I know. Two fantastic anyway. Let's Yeah. We didn't do the last week's segment. Normally do we who would watch this? Yeah. Just I guess if I can still fake it. We can still fake it till we make it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I'll straight up say I saw the trailer for this. Thought the trailer looked like a. I think it just popped up. It was like trending or something like that. I like to I keep my ear to the ground and keep my eyes on the trailers. Yeah, thank god. So yeah, I saw the trailer of this, I thought it looked fine. I you know, sometimes you see a concept and it could go either way. You go, oh, people can't get out of their house.
SPEAKER_00And then that Netflix Dodom goes, you know, I feel like as well, I keep getting tricks. Like people go, oh, it's the film of the year, Bird Box. I go, I I I watch Birdbox and I I shouldn't have failed for this. Like we we like movies, we know what we know what they're doing.
SPEAKER_01I think the I don't think Birdbox is like horrible. It's a horrible, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But people are like, this is it was such a mega hit because I mean the concept's so good. Yeah, they're Sarah Paulson gets black eyes. Yeah. That's that got I've never seen Sarah do that. A billion people sign for Netflix that day, you know? It's a good one.
SPEAKER_01They're like Sandy B's got a kid and she can't look. And you go, whoa! Miss Blind Sides Blind.
SPEAKER_00That's a good tagline. Uh but who do we think would watch it off that trailer? What what was your vibe?
SPEAKER_01You were just thinking Netflix is always centered around like two types of people to me, which is I've got 90 minutes to kill, I'm about to board a flight. Those are the two sorts of things that they need downloaded.
SPEAKER_00100%. And then I feel like it's just I feel like it's thrown around a bit, but it is people just going like coworker-esque in the sense of just like I go on Netflix and whatever's new I click on the city.
SPEAKER_01Well, isn't that top ten? Yeah. So I think they've got if they've got a good enough premise to just get a movie into the top ten that people are like, this is number one. That sounds interesting.
SPEAKER_00And they're competing with like, I don't know, the internship. Like it's crazy, like they're like, it's they're fine themselves.
SPEAKER_01It's this or wedding crashes, and people are like, well, I've seen wedding crashes.
SPEAKER_00About 80 times, so I guess I'll flick on something new. I am paying about $300 a year for wedding crashes whenever I want it, which is a good search.
SPEAKER_01It's a luxury. When I was cutting out my luxuries, I was like, it's it's either coffee or the $300 a year I'm spending on wedding crashes. Gotta axe coffee.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, the people that have the people that have physical media, I back them, but they are a bit annoying. But you know, it would be.
SPEAKER_01I'm getting back into it, getting my dad to bring up all of my DVDs and Blu-rays, because I was like, you know, I tried to watch Jurassic Park the other night. I owned two copies of it, and I still had to fork out like 14 bucks online. And they're still gonna probably take it away from me in 10 years. You never are into that. So I was like, just bring them up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I need them, I need them. Uh quick, who would watch who would watch this before we jump into it?
SPEAKER_01Um, I think it's Netflix has the has the has the right thinking. I think this is Friday night, I don't know what to watch, and I want to go to bed soon.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, new stuff. I guess, yeah, I guess it's for people that are looking for a sleepy glass of milk and a big cookie. This is kind of that in a movie form, you know, so it's good for that.
SPEAKER_01And I think there must have been a weird Venn diagram of like fans of narcos and then um fans of past lives, and they were like the freaks in the middle, they like high concept sci-fi.
SPEAKER_00100%. And the secret agent guys were just not happy because quite frank. But why why would you? You got you got you ate last year, you can you can starve this.
SPEAKER_01Do you reckon this was shot before Secret Agent or after? And it was like a it was like an easy paycheck and a quick shoot because it was one location, or just shot prior?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, because they're both, it feels like maybe it was shot prior. And they just I'd like to hope. Yeah. What were they doing past like you know what? Netflix where we went 10 mil each and they went yeah.
SPEAKER_01I reckon less. I reckon they were like, this is over two weeks, you both get 500 grand. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They're like, well, the the Lee ve vehicle they didn't get you in seats?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, what's I mean, I don't know if people are I don't know if Greta Lee can earn 10 mil a film. She can. Don't think she's at like a uh Pirates of the Caribbean-esque.
SPEAKER_00You don't know how money works. Past lives to numbers. It was the same same cultural impact as Jack Sparrow, who have been saying.
SPEAKER_01That like it was nuts, she played it drunk the whole time.
SPEAKER_00Carl, do we get into the last house? Let's do it. So what initial thoughts? Okay, it starts with a bunch of quotes about just like life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was it starts very powerful. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They've got they've got a booming, like boom, a beautiful quote quote from like Arthur C Clark, just like, we are deaf and you are you. And you're like, wow, that's really I hope it ties back in. And then it's like a narration just like we are all alone, but are we? And I was like, wow, I'm super in uh in. And then it's cuts to a kid watching uh hamster torture videos on an iPad. I went, this is good.
SPEAKER_01It's very it's a strong opening. It's a Kubrick air, it's a lot of it's a lot of like rain, there's little like things coming up, and you go, Oh, there is a mood to the beginning of this, and there is some effort, and then what I think unfolds is some of the best garbage I've seen all year. Like it's not I can't I personally can't call it bad because it's such entertaining garbage.
SPEAKER_00It's really entertaining. There's bits that it feels like the film go has started timer every 10 minutes and goes, right, I'm bored, new thing. And then for the first 40 minutes, they didn't have a budget. And then at the 40-minute mark, they went, right, here's your budget. Yeah. And they went, Great, let's go nutty for it.
SPEAKER_01They've so clearly got like the retention chart that's like people usually clock out here, and you know what? They nailed it out.
SPEAKER_00Every single time I went, I'm bored, let me pause this. I'd come back seconds later, be a big noise. I'm back in. Okay. A big noise. I love those.
SPEAKER_01They're like, they're like, oh, you're getting a little bit bored. What if Wagnamora got a little bit crazy?
SPEAKER_00You're like, oh, it's three minutes, three minutes, and then we'll be back to his Wagner self.
SPEAKER_01You're like, what if they do a little bit of chimney fishing?
SPEAKER_00Like, oh, okay. Let's get into it. Okay, so pretty much they're in this house and it's beautifully decorated. That's the pitch.
SPEAKER_01It's so that's such a good Netflix is like, why do we make it? Alright, so basically they're in this house, salt. It's the last one.
SPEAKER_00People watch films, it's very immersive. But um, it is incredibly well decorated, the house, to the point that I went, it's gonna be all set in the house, isn't it? Yeah. Which is not bad.
SPEAKER_01Well, the last house you didn't think would be entirely set in the house.
SPEAKER_00I thought we'd get a few more things, you know. And yeah, in fairness, it has a sewer. So that's pretty big. Pretty big for the film.
SPEAKER_01They've got they've got things that I love that, you know, it's not it's not good exposition. They're like, hey honey, what's up? The chimney's not fixed, it's crumbling. I've got emails. Look at them! Look at the emails, the sewerage is underneath us, and our kids are rotten.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the kids are rotten, so we've got I I don't know if people understand what's going on because so Greta and Wagner, lovers, yeah, solid. Yeah, the two kids were eight and eleven. Yeah. Yeah, about that.
SPEAKER_01I can't pick a child. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00There was a time jump. I went, I think they've just cast another child. I think they got bored of the chill. The retention ramps like, they're not fucking.
SPEAKER_01I would have loved it if big shock they boyhooded the film. They were so in on it, they were like, we boyhooded, we committed. This is shot over 15 years. We this is pre-COVID and post-COVID.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, how would the foresight be like this will do numbers in 2026 when there's almost a nostalgia for COVID? It's good stuff.
SPEAKER_01Greta Lee will be big, she's coming hot off her voice on the iPad at Toy Story 5. We've got a hit.
SPEAKER_00The film is shot like a Safety Brothers film in the sense of the editing and music choice are stressing me out immensely, and they're just hanging around the house at the start. Like they're not doing anything, and then the rain comes. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Alright, so I it is it is a very funny moment to be like, Wow, the door's not opening. Everybody's gonna get stuck in this house and they don't know why, and they believe it's for the rain. Yeah. I wouldn't you have felt great when you're he's that one point he's smashing a window to try and break it open, and then the glass fixes itself. It'd be a moment for me where I went, Oh thank god, it's supernatural. It's it's not my fault. Yeah, you know, I'm not an idiot. I didn't know how to get out of my own house. You know how it could go two ways, and you're like, you know, this morning I couldn't get out of my house.
SPEAKER_00How humiliating. Right. It's like I smashed up three windows. Turns out it was a push-pull window, you know. It's classic one of those. It is He's an outer work in the year.
SPEAKER_01He would have killed himself if she was like, she was like, you can just open the door, honey's like, I've gotta end it all. I've got to build a gun, it probably won't work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, thank god it's supernatural. You would be just like, it's almost like off your plate. You know, there's people that like, I hope the zombie apocalypse comes. I feel that people be like, oh, I don't have to care anymore. Like you'd be like, Well, I can't beat this. It's it's ghouls. I can't beat this, you know.
SPEAKER_01You're so right. And I mean, I'd also love too, because the movie's going at it's sort of the one of the big things about the movie is absolutely when I hit play and I was like, oh, this movie could be for me. It is the type of bad film that I absolutely love. When I saw it was an hour 50, I was like, this is a tight 85-minute film.
SPEAKER_00There is no reason this thing is gonna be. The problem with it is because this rain happens, everyone's locked indoors, we'll get into the neighbor of stuff, but but for the first 40 minutes, yeah, it's them doing COVID shenanigans of just like let's build this stuff. Uh, do you think the chimney uh fishing is a powerful scene? But for the rest of it, it's a lot of just like, oh, we got high and fucked about. And at that point, they're like, let's go watch a movie. Do we watch Annie or Air Force One and get high? And immediately, bad move in your movie to make me do a thing I'd rather be doing. Like, I'd rather be doing that. Getting blazed and watching Annie, that starting dance scene. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01I was like, it would be too much for me. I'd be like the aeroplane one for me. Yeah. The I I think the strongest part of the movie is the first 40 minutes. Oh wow.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, shit on me. But go ahead, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_01I think just in terms of I was like, uh, you don't know what's happening, and I think that this is where Greta Lee and uh Wagmore are at their best. I think is this first 40 minutes.
SPEAKER_00I love them acting their hearts out. Yeah, they're fantastic. They're really good, they're really trying, and they're selling every like horrible dialogue. Horrible dialogue, horrible decisions, horrible choices, and every single time I go, but you believe it, don't you?
SPEAKER_01I love that they they are stuck in the house for the first 40 minutes of the first day, and Wagner's like, I'm gonna have to show you the gun. I fucking hate what's happening right now.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna show you the gun. These kids are just playing like on an iPad. He's like, I showed them David Bowie, they didn't get it. I'm getting a gun.
SPEAKER_01She's like, why do you have this? Then he's like, because I was thinking of blowing my fucking brains out. I can't fish, I can't get a job. I got a million-dollar car I refuse to sell in the garage. Yeah, I'm on the edge. No, I can't get out. I'm stuck with you, fucking lad. You ate all my donuts this morning and I didn't like that.
SPEAKER_00I had my weed.
SPEAKER_01I had a little joint. He's like, we never touched the sex drawer anymore. You didn't even know we had it. What's up with that? When we bought the toys, you said you'd explore my body.
SPEAKER_00I feel like she was just here for the draw. And let's face it, a good draw does wonders via sex life.
SPEAKER_01It does go. It was one of those things where he was like, you know, I bought a gun and I'm like, this guy's turned on by guns. This guy's 100% turned on by guns.
SPEAKER_00He's like, oh, how'd the gun get in the sex drawer?
SPEAKER_01Uh-oh. He's like, oh, that's wild. Shall we feel how powerful it is against my skin? Baby, touch the gun. Baby touch the gun.
SPEAKER_00You're right. The first 40 minutes is the best part. It is the best part. It's very tense.
SPEAKER_01Because they're just ticking shit. They're just going, oh, what's it? Unfetish.
SPEAKER_00It works. It works.
SPEAKER_01It's so good. I was all in. I was absolutely all in. Especially because I thought they captured um the more, you know, everybody had different experiences of COVID. I was I was in a house with like five other people, and there were high points of where it was very enjoyable and low points of where it was very repetitive. Yeah. But I thought the movie actually did a good job of capturing the more enjoyable moments, like when he's like, I'm gonna teach you to fill it a fish, but we're gonna use your toys because we're getting creative for entertainment now. And I was like, Oh, I remember getting that fucking crazy. I remember that getting fucking crazy.
SPEAKER_00Do you remember like the coffee? They're like, what are your froth espresso? Oh, I think. Instant coffee. Pretty pretty pretty bad, huh?
SPEAKER_01We did an Easter hat parade in May. Well, it was a bunch of buy like a creative crap. Let's just do it. Remember making my own chocolate to Willy Wonka? Those are high points. Whoa, that is a good stuff, actually. How'd you make chocolate? So oh yeah, it was just one of the one of the people we were living with was like, I'm just gonna commit to everything and buy what we need. That's pretty good. And so we did that. Yeah. Um so yeah, I had a pretty fun government.
SPEAKER_00The governor's like, here's a grand good luck.
SPEAKER_01Like, don't worry, we'll support you. We'll look after you.
SPEAKER_00Pretty nice stuff. Um, so yeah, they're fucking around this house. The rain, the the the little girl, I feel like has a connection with the rain. It does not really fully explore.
SPEAKER_01It's never good. This is the most M night shamelani thing, is where it goes, the little girl's got a connection to the creature. Why? Why are you doing that now? It's like she does, she sees it from the attic.
SPEAKER_00And she has, she goes, that's probably tough being a rain monster. Absolutely. There's a bit of empathy there. And I think the rain monster picks up on that goes, alright, if I have to eat you, I won't do you first.
SPEAKER_01I won't do you first. Now I'm sure you were thinking the same thing as me. Yeah, which is as soon as like the door, and I was glad they actually handled this, but as soon as they got locked in, I was like, When do you consider eating the dog? And I think they cheated it a little bit by going, the dog's already sick, so we're gonna put it out of its misery. And I'm like, have that be a healthy boy. Yeah, have that be a healthy boy like make the decision to fucking kill that dog and eat it.
SPEAKER_00Producers come in with their greasy fingers, go, hey, don't have them eating a dog scene. It's just like I want to experience life, you know, and that's what we do on screen. Yeah, and it's just fingers, it's cowardly. Yeah, it's very cowardly.
SPEAKER_01I loved when the kids are like, give me some fucking food, and they're like, let them see. Let them open up all the cupboards, and they like open it up and they're like, oh, we've already eaten the dog as well. Fuck man.
SPEAKER_00The dog skeleton, and they're like, oh, we preserved it so well for this for the dramatic effect. It really works. I do love, and I and I think it is a choice that almost covet-esque of just sort of like Greta Lee at some point's just like, I'm fucking insane. No cares and it's coming. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do, children?
SPEAKER_01You'll have to eat me next. It's also like who are you fucking talking to as well? Because you're just like, I'm sick of my husband, and my two kids are rotten. My two kids are fucking rotten. And you know what I don't care that they're doing is they're constantly like, guys, you can't eat dinner, so go work out. And I'm like, don't burn calories.
SPEAKER_00Go run a half marathon on the treadmill. That's Flintstone-esque, you know, go do that. Now, what are the rules for the rain house? Yeah, what are the rules for you being kept in? Because essentially at this, it's a very wholesome moment at the start where they start doing like love actually signs at the front, just like internet not working, yeah. Me too. How far does this go? And they do like a Yeah, they do a little game of telephone. Yeah, just like long. A while.
SPEAKER_01It's it's yeah. I loved it because I wouldn't have anything to write on. They're all like, look at all the things we've got to write on. I'd be like, I guess I'm doing a lot of A4 paper. Oh god. And a paper's a letter.
SPEAKER_00From that distance, you're getting, yeah, you're doing a little bit more.
SPEAKER_01Like, what happened to all the paper? And I'm like, I used it to spell the word help.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think six months in you go, oh god, a lot of wasted paper on these A's and B's. We're gonna reuse these, huh? We were so uh gluttonous in the start. I can't believe I read it.
SPEAKER_01We're playing we were playing Scrabble from afar and I used onomatopoeia. Oh, what a waste. I asked, how were things on Sixth Avenue? And I spelt out sixth rather than using the number.
SPEAKER_00We never need next more than once. It's just it was it was I mean a deadly sin, essentially.
SPEAKER_01Going in where you've got all the letters of the alphabet hanging and you've committed to like 14 X's, and you're like, ah, no sentence will be.
SPEAKER_00I should have Stranger Things dip with the lights. It should have been that. It should have been that. It should have been that. Uh these names are all pretty everyone's like, we're just freaking figuring it all out. Uh I love that they're broad too. You've got like the dentist, the runner. It's kind of because he's the fishing engineer. Like, you know, he's a tooth, he's a he's a two-dimensional character.
SPEAKER_01I loved it because you couldn't, the movie couldn't figure out what it wanted to do, and so it was sort of always pulling. Because there was a moment where they just like are like, we're just gonna be rear window for six minutes. Like Yeah, the girl's like purping on the glasses, just like, I just got murdered.
SPEAKER_00We don't explore it. I know.
SPEAKER_01It's like, how long does it take before it turns into exhibitionism? Where like the doctor's like just like looking at Wagnamor and is like, what are we gonna do about that?
SPEAKER_00Just doing surgery on himself. Spelling out words, yeah, like that. God is alone.
SPEAKER_01Wagnamor being like, Greta, kids come. The dentist is nude and performing on himself. It's hypnotizing.
SPEAKER_00Someone rev the car.
SPEAKER_01I need to show that I'm horny. Honey, grab my gun. I want to touch it while I look at this.
SPEAKER_00Pointing gun and watch it. There's another neighbor that was just like the normal one going, God, it's been a day. What's going on? Honey, have you seen the neighbors? It's fucking cracked out there. It's day six. What's going on? Even the rain's like, I think we should let them go. This got weird quickly. Is it their world? They keep being like it feels like they're it feels like they're doing like uh we came, we we took over their land sort of thing. I couldn't retell.
SPEAKER_01I couldn't retell. The close the main thing I worked at was rain is glue. Rain's glue. Rain is glue until they go, no more glue.
SPEAKER_00And the rain goes, whoop. Yeah, because they're sort of in like a bubble that regenerates. I don't really get the rain rules. It's so good. Yeah. It's so good. But I don't really get like how the chimney's cool, right? No idea. Because there's just a hole in the chimney. But then wouldn't everything like I don't want to get into it. The chimney's a hole though, and that's cool.
SPEAKER_01I think because the rain they want people to live in the house. And so they need air. Because it's not like they've sealed the house. She she's even like, Are we gonna run out of air? And he's like, No, air keeps coming out.
SPEAKER_00No, I think that was them plotting it, going, right, they're contraps, and it's because the rain sucks it in and goes, Well, how do they breathe? Go to the chimney. Chimney. Chimney can get some air in the chimney.
SPEAKER_01I love that these um creatures couldn't work out the chimney. I think that's a crazy thing where they're like, we're gonna take over the world. And they're like, you know, there's a lot of people alive that owned a chimney, and they're like, a what?
SPEAKER_00A what? We did doors and windows. What else is that?
SPEAKER_01They're basing it off boats though. Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_00They don't know what it is. They haven't seen a boat with a chimney. I mean, they've got the smokestack, but they that's sort of a set- that's sort of a boating chimney. So let's talk about the twist. Yeah, huge.
SPEAKER_01Which is they're like, is it aliens? Sea creatures. Yeah. And I have always really liked the idea of sea creatures, and yet I've never liked it in a film.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, fair enough.
SPEAKER_01Do you remember when they're like in Pacific Rim?
SPEAKER_00They're like, they came up, and you're like, yeah, alright. I'm more of a shape of water kind of guy, my personally. I'm a bit more high-brow venue, not Pacific Rim.
SPEAKER_01I love that Guillaume El Del Toro and James Cameron both love the sea. They're like, what's happening down there? I mean, you know It's gonna be crazy.
SPEAKER_00You know, I think cowards look up, you know, the the real lovers look down. Yeah, you know, that's what they are. That's how I brand them. Nobody ever looks back. Oh god, imagine. This movie should have opened with that quote. Oscar and Carl. Never look back. Just to the sea. You know, it's nice.
SPEAKER_01When are they gonna start opening movies with big R quotes?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Just like or like caller Daddy. You know, just like, oh, they're just like hit shows, you know, they're like the Joe Rogan podcast or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, you're right. The twist happens. Yeah, uh, these fish fellas, they're very love craftian, they're sort of like big squid fella. I quite like the design, and at one point it's practical.
SPEAKER_01Look, so compliment wise for the movie, I don't think it's a bad looking film. No, I think that the production design is like excellent, especially when they do a time jump. I think the house looks awesome.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it really does. I love all their like uh Rube Gold, what was that, Rube Gold machines? Yeah, like Walls like Walls and Grom at the house. Yeah, they do. You need some toast, a marble comes out, a bowling ball flies out, a corn. I'll be honest, also, real quickly, their diet was tomato and seagull for five years. Yeah. They should be looking disgusting.
SPEAKER_01Where were they shit? Where was all the garbage going? I was just like one of those, I was just like, you were producing so much garbage, you've been living off badger. You did it for so long. Let's talk about what they eat.
SPEAKER_00They eat gull, they eat badger, squirrel, yeah, squirrel. And no dog. Well, they look draw the line of dog.
SPEAKER_01They're just like they already tasted dog, and they must have imagine if that was like their wagyu. They're like, they're like, if a Labrador comes past, everybody run to the fucking window because we need to eat that shit again.
SPEAKER_00It's so good. I imagine there's like a just a room we didn't see that was just full of bones. Yeah. Just full of the bone room.
SPEAKER_01The bone room? I would absolutely the bone room. They're like, I'm sick of this house, and like go spend some time in the bone room. It's really calming.
SPEAKER_00It's very, it's it's kind of a hollow white. It's quite beautiful.
SPEAKER_01It is, and it's just really haunting. Makes you remember what we've been through. What we've got to appreciate. And what we've eaten. I know. I I do love when they eventually do the time jump because you'd go, they've all settled in. Yeah. But rather so they're actually all fucking miserable. And I was like, guys, this looks pretty fun, if you ask me.
SPEAKER_00I thought their vibe was very just like another day, another house. Uh very chill. And then and then they do show, I'm actually fucking crazy. Yeah. Which is good. Yeah. Because I was a bit like, I'd be rave. Yeah, they're like, they're not, they're not well. We didn't we talk about the chimney uh fishing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let's talk about the chimney fishing. Um so and this is what this is what's incredible about the script, is he's a fisherman at the beginning. What's attacking them is just big fish, and now they know how to chimney fish. Yes. It's a classic.
SPEAKER_00It's a classic uh three gun sort of thing. It's a Chekhov's fishing chimney.
SPEAKER_01When Chekhov, I reckon Chekhov's like looking down at this movie and going, you nailed it. You did exactly what I intended with my gun, and you've adapted it in a way I never foresaw.
SPEAKER_00Thank God. Oh, you're using guns in a bit weird way. Oh, oh god, not in that way. Actually, you know what? I'm okay with this. I I'm very open-minded. Believe it or not, Mr. Chekhov.
SPEAKER_01Now, was it is it just me or were they using a different gun at the end? Oh no, they the gun never paid off, did it?
SPEAKER_00There's a lot of things that never paid off.
SPEAKER_01Because they they're using a harpoon at the end.
SPEAKER_00They're using a rube, uh, am I saying that right? Rube gold? Is that what it is?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. And I refuse to look it up.
SPEAKER_00Wallace and Gromit-esque harpoon gun.
SPEAKER_01It's like the pants was a gun. It's really oh god, they just uh they're doing everything in the film, and you can't get bored because they they're non-stopping.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't stop. It does like honestly, once they get through COVID, they're like, you're probably bored. Let's go crazy with it.
SPEAKER_01I love it. There's a part where he's like, I'll get in the sewer, and Gretel Lee goes, I'll do it. I haven't done anything yet. And they're like, okay, this will be entertaining for you then to go and do, and the audience hasn't seen that yet, so that changes it up a little. It is good. So let's talk about the chimney fishing, because it's easily the oddest part of the film.
SPEAKER_00It's very so they go, right, I want that. I want that skunk. Yeah. I want that skunk. We've got a chimney. Yeah. I think if we get essentially like a mousetrap cage, yeah. Fly it out, get him in. Were they using the dog as debate? Am I misremembering that? Yeah, yeah. Good. Good.
SPEAKER_01I did really like that they were like, once you've cleared the meat off of the dog, what are you gonna do with it? And he's like, well, I'll burn it in the chimney. And you're like, so we're gonna have a dead dog burnt smell through the house?
SPEAKER_00I know you might be judgmental, but you would not believe the scent of dog uh hair. Very nice, very cedar-esque.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, it's a lot of a lot of candles in Sydney are based off of dog hair nowadays. It's getting weird. Sydney's getting weird, guys.
SPEAKER_00But here's the thing, it smells divine. It smells amazing. Yeah, you didn't think you wouldn't think it, you know. Yeah. Because rabbit hair doesn't already have the same. Doesn't go anywhere.
SPEAKER_01I had Chihuahua in Forest the other day. Your old factory must have been spiked. Um yeah, anyway, it takes them a while to work out the chimney. They send the girl. I feel like a really dark movie would have maybe killed the girl in that chimney. I don't know why we're holding on to this family. I think they should have like had a family unit, kill them all. I think they should have gone through more extremity. I gotta tell you, when we got I got to the end of the movie, I went, These guys had an easy time.
SPEAKER_00It seems pretty nice, honestly. Farming should have been harder. Yes, it should have. Yeah, she pit luckily she had like farming for dummies.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Luckily, we just shit in the s we shit in the square and we got the seeds. Yeah. I don't think we need sun. They have sun, how'd they get sun? He smashes the wall to like uh another empty room. Yeah. I don't know how it's like, we'll use Merro's.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was really bizarre. I also felt I would have gotten myself into this situation too. But at one stage he asked the neighbor, do you have any food? And they're like, No. And I'm like, man, I only shop on a Sunday. So if I get reined in on a Sunday, like if this happened to me on a Sunday, I'm fucked.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, it'd be pretty funny.
SPEAKER_01And I already live pretty skin, you know?
SPEAKER_00You have a balcony. I wonder if that's allowed. Like, what's the uh idea with like an open plan balcony, you know? Just uh doxing you very specifically. Someone's just like, we got the information, go find it.
SPEAKER_01Find me or go, you can lie on me. You know, we found Carl via Google Maps, we should make a movie about that. Dev Patel could play it.
SPEAKER_00Dev's playing a way more broader Australian. He's like, oh no, fuck, not my fucking balcony. He nails it though. He did.
SPEAKER_01It's the best Australian accent I've ever heard. It's better than ours.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, no, the chimney stuff's insane.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. And the I do appreciate the movie being so fucking insane. And I think there's an element of you have to make this movie because it is one of those in script form, obviously. I think the movie can sort of go out any which way. Yeah. And so you'd be looking and you're like, wow, sea monsters rise up, lock people in their homes, they resort to fishing land walking creatures like the badger.
SPEAKER_00You must be also loving it because you'd be like, uh, this is cheap. Yeah. Like you're just going, this is gonna be we could probably swervers out. Yeah, really nice.
SPEAKER_01And you'd just be like, and if a really good person gets behind this, this could maybe be a really random hit, or it's going to be absolute dog shit, and people won't shut up about it anywhere. Yeah. And so it can really go anywhere. And I'm sure like Hollywood's going through so many issues at the moment when it comes to female characters just getting to do anything in a fucking movie that I'm sure Gretel Lee was like, this is such a broad role. I'll have way more fun doing this than uh my role in the new Tron movie.
SPEAKER_00What even is she, other than um is she a cyborg or one of the is she like a that'd be a big reveal too?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, the sea creatures raised up, and she was like, That's crazy because I've been a cyborg the whole time.
SPEAKER_00She like transforms, he's like, I'm actually the chimney. Wagnamor with the gun. Yeah. Oh my god, you're a cyborg. That's nuts. Put it in my mouth, put your laser in my mouth. Kids, watch.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I love this in the movie. I absolutely love that we're like the doctor gets sick and falls over and dies, and they're like, kids, get away. Don't you look at this? But there's a part when a woman's bloodied up with a knife and she's like, let me in. And he's like, kids, all watch. Let's see how it plays out.
SPEAKER_00Get the chimney fishing. We might need her body for more dog baits. You know, you want to get that. Um when the girl closed a curtain over a plant?
SPEAKER_01She was like, planty, no. And you're like, you should have kept the dog alive for this scene.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't make any sense. So essentially, okay, let's just recap real quickly. So they've been trapped in the house for five years. They've learned how the chimney stuff, they're growing uh vegetables. They go, Okay, shit. We probably need to try and figure out a way to go to the other houses. They connect it through the sewer to get antibiotics for the girl because she gets bitten. What'd she get bitten?
SPEAKER_01Hated this. She was like, I need a squirrel as a friend, and immediately turns on her and Wagnamore's like Dinner. We don't even cook it anymore, we eat it raw.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the boy's just like, thank you. Just all the golems, and it goes go pretty crazy. It's just it engulfs it. And spits out the skin and the bones. He's like, add it to the chair. At it to the room.
SPEAKER_01You've got a skull room. We've never forgotten an animal we've eaten.
SPEAKER_00It's more protected this way.
SPEAKER_01Remember when we got deer that one time? That was fucking crazy. If you have to look at like what you've eaten for the last five years, actually kind of beautiful, actually. Do you reckon that there's also an element of Wagnamora coming down and going, I just caught the biggest fucking animal. I got I got a croc. Where are they?
SPEAKER_00Where is this? Is it like they're I feel like they were at Florida, California.
SPEAKER_01So true.
SPEAKER_00They are right in Zoo. Just yeah.
SPEAKER_01The zoo just over the floor.
SPEAKER_00They were like, fuck it, the sea monsters, release the turtles. Who cares? Who fucking cares? It's the end of days. It'd be more fun, you know?
SPEAKER_01You'd just be gonna go out. You've I the daughter must be like, I want to be vegetarian. And he's like, but there's so many other unique animals for you to eat. There could be a penguin, you could have a mere cat. Who knows what will catch out?
SPEAKER_00There would be, I think if you want to be an ethical uh meat eater, I think you should eat everything. Yeah. And they're almost about to. Absolutely. You know, that's it's nice the bone room has the evidence. It's like them collecting like Pokemon. It's actually the bone. A missing penguin.
SPEAKER_01Oh no. The concept of the bone room is so beautiful. It's a shame they cut it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and again, it's a it's a long film, but could have been longer instead of.
SPEAKER_01Can somebody go add that to the IBDB page?
SPEAKER_00You know they had a bone room. I love the trivia pink kind of. You know, check this out. Anyway, flipping a coin, you're like 78 people find that helpful.
SPEAKER_01No down votes. Yeah, I feel like we are jumping around a little bit. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Um that that's the the general structure. So you go into the sewer. Uh I do like um the the friendly man at the star's skeleton with the beard is still there in the water. Yeah. Really good. It's good, a bit of fun horror, you know. I'm quite enjoying it. I think that's certain bits I'm really enjoying. Yeah. I just think the uh the sort of Netflix and them being like, it's so manufactured, you know, in that regard. And the editing is like nothing I've seen in a long time. It is so frantic, you know. They are not like, do not be bored, you know.
SPEAKER_01And I think it's because they don't know what they've got. I think you you green light this movie and that you must rock up to set. And as an actor, you'd be like, what are we making? Are we doing a drama? Are we doing a horror? Are we doing like is it camp? Is it how outlandish am I going?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it seems to me that the director's going, I don't know. I'm just gonna capture what's on the page.
SPEAKER_00There's also the director of uh Clash of the Titans. Clash of the Titans, I think the new Fast and Furious. Yeah. Um, so good for him, you know. I guess.
SPEAKER_01Like good for like it's great that like directors for hire are getting work. Yeah, the ones that specifically are like, I'll do anything. Fuck it. Yeah, I don't care.
SPEAKER_00And they've kind of but you are right, it does feel like a film that was filmed. We've got every tone and mood. Yeah. Let's figure out the editing bay. And they went, Great, we're also gonna do everything. It's like no one made a decision.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I think you're so right. And I think there's a reason because like I really like the like the good M. Night Shamalan movies. And even his like bad ones that would probably be like an equivalent of this. I think have a better happening that sort of vibe. Yeah. Because I think he's written them, and so he goes, I've got a weird They're consistent, yes.
SPEAKER_00The happening's like a consistent oddity. Yeah. Whereas this has pockets of like, oh, I'm quite enjoying what you're doing there. It's like the fish is gonna get harpooned through a sort of homologous sequence.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna get to a point where it will be a straight up action movie. It's the ending of Skyfall, but at the sea with a monster. You go, okay. Because we're not horror anymore. And it's like, well, but we were never horror.
SPEAKER_00No, that'd be ridiculous. That'd be ridiculous. Um, do we talk about this car? This car garage. Is that pre them thinking the uh I've been uh branding as home alone? Yeah, home alone in the squid.
SPEAKER_01They are, they're home alone in the squid. Basically, these big squids are coming in. Yeah, uh the squids are blind.
SPEAKER_00Well, they bash they bash down the door and the squid's like, I can come in wherever I want. Yeah, that's my power. And they go, We probably should get the gun. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't understand. They've got the concept of going, well, let's just leave the house. The boy is like, I want to leave the house. Yeah. What's out there for you?
SPEAKER_00He wants to jack off. He has not jacked off without his family around him for 15 years. He wants, he his dad's hidden the gun. He's put it in the car.
SPEAKER_01That kid got to 18 and he's like, it's time for you to see the gun. I showed Grinnell Lee day one. It's now your time. Come have a look at the gun. He's like, if you need some time, take 40 minutes, go into the bone room with the gun, and just sort of like fault in our stars, like, don't give it the power, give it the power, you know, that sort of thing.
SPEAKER_00But you're just sticking the gun in his mouth and jacking it off. And that's really powerful. That's really powerful stuff.
SPEAKER_01I think, yeah. I wish the movie was way even more weird. I I would love um, who's the guy that did Antichrist?
SPEAKER_00Oh, Mel. Oh no, Mel, oh, last one Tria.
SPEAKER_01Tria's the last house on this would work. This would work. You'd be like, it's a little bit nymphomaniac. It's a little bit like the house that Jack built.
SPEAKER_00Like the house, the last house that Jack built? Wow. Wow. And I I do think like a Lovecraft and Squid could just squeeze in there really well.
SPEAKER_01If you this movie would be even bigger if people were like, the new Netflix movie is like it's got The Last House. Could you imagine how Lars von Tria and it's R-rated for high sexual violence?
SPEAKER_00Can you imagine? Yeah, the new Lars von Tria film is doing a billion on Netflix. Kids and families are all watching on that Friday night. It's a hit. Would you remember when everybody was like, yeah, we watched Frankenstein? And you're like, what? What? Frankenstein makes more sense than the guy. Can you imagine the trailer? The guy who brought you Jack the Howl Bill, Umber Maniac 2, and Dogrist? It's very good. It's very good.
SPEAKER_01And then you go like this cast makes sense. You know?
SPEAKER_00Actually, the cast would make sense. You're like, wow, you got some altar alters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I mean, I don't want to be the I I think like the two leaders are doing a like a fine performance with the material they're getting, but I don't think they make any sense as a family. And they're so clearly the best actors with a name who were probably the cheapest to get. Is that's where I think they existed for Netflix.
SPEAKER_00Because I was like, oh wow, you got two Oscar nominated actors. But I was like, Yeah, but Secret Agent and I think they're still working actors.
SPEAKER_01Like I'm like, I think these guys need money. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I feel like they've got I feel like, well, because yeah, she did Tron Ares, and I feel like he did another thing pretty recently. Was he also in a Marvel film or something? I feel like he had a bigger one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I can't remember.
SPEAKER_01I I really threw me when it turned out he was from Narcos because he's fucking hot. He's got a lot of things. Like and he's he's really attractive.
SPEAKER_00When was Narcos? Is that six years ago? Yeah. Yeah. He is. He's in uh he's the uh detective at the start. I think he either gets shot or he's in the third season. But he's definitely uh he's a smaller part in that, but he's really good in that.
SPEAKER_01I love when people finally get their like chance. I know they feel like it's a lot of things. Yeah, yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so good for them. I hope they may I hope they made lots of money. He's also great in um narcos. There's crazy performance.
SPEAKER_01I think I read too that the sequel's now been greenlit to this too. So I'm sure they'll just one. Yeah. Oh great. So either it's going to be like it's now them on a boat, and that'll be even more boring, or different house. Different house.
SPEAKER_00It's bolder than we've got, we called it the last house. The the first boat. The second last house. Just the house that was before them. Turns out there was another.
SPEAKER_01Who knew? It's the fur it's the last house from the POV of another house. It's that that's last one track.
SPEAKER_00It does 98 billion on Netflix. It saves the company. Disney is it saves Hollywood.
SPEAKER_01It also goes into cinemas, and it's like the the op and it's the it's the odyssey of its year. The Barb and Heimer of his one film. Yeah. And crazy pulling off the last house. We made the ultimate four quadrant movie.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, so they essentially go, alright, Wagner Morriga has a bit of a bit of a a bit of a Menti B in the car. As well he should. Yeah, in fairs, five years, he's been only eating tomato and gull. Yeah. I would also start ramming the car into the wall. They go, no, no, no. Let's take a pause, let's home alone this house. Yeah. Let's go crazy with it. Uh, what's their bait to get the squid inside? Or are they just waiting?
SPEAKER_01They they're they know that they haven't gone long long left to live. They're now doing house-to-house.
SPEAKER_00Because it salts all the water. Yes. Their tomatoes are gone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So now they're now they're now they're only they can only have.
SPEAKER_01Their tomatoes are tomargoes.
SPEAKER_00And they're badge and they're badgering the foxes.
SPEAKER_01They're coming and putting salt water over and be like, oh, the badger's jerky now.
SPEAKER_00It's tried everything out. It's ridiculous. Oh my god. Have you had jerky girl? This is this is good. This is good. Son, come on over. The feathers are delicious now. They're pickled. You ever had pickled feather? It's a delicacy in this nondescript town.
SPEAKER_01It's the you know how the bone rooms are Michelin star restaurant to us. It's as good as there. I do think. Oh, I just had a thought. It probably wasn't good.
SPEAKER_00Was it the little boy? Was it the girl? Was it the uh the the the taste of flesh?
SPEAKER_01It's fine. I think we've done enough uh animal.
SPEAKER_00We can never do enough animals.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we can never do enough animals.
SPEAKER_00Um no, I mean so so Oh yes.
SPEAKER_01So what it is is that the sea monsters are now doing house calls, uh, and they know I think their time is also just like up. And because they've been closing the house every time at night, I don't think they've been discovered. Yeah. And so they're like, open the chimney, open up all the blinds, invite them in, and we will just kill it and run.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Because I think they think it's one.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. Well, I don't know why they think it's one. I feel like I we all knew it wasn't one.
SPEAKER_00I guess they were like, How many are there to the daughter? She's like, I don't know. I've been chatting to one of them. Yeah. So one.
SPEAKER_01It's like there's definitely more. When they eventually get to escape the house, 40 of them like come in on them, and I'm like, and there you go. I wish they all just got killed then and there. And then somebody's like, and that's why you never leave the house. Never leave the house.
SPEAKER_00They could have been the last house. Oh my god, how beautiful. The director comes along and be like, hey, don't leave the house. Don't leave the house. What's this?
SPEAKER_01The scary world is. Don't leave.
SPEAKER_00Now that now they homolog this uh this creature by like harpooning it.
SPEAKER_01And then the car like reels it in like a fishing line. Yeah. Um, and then Wagnabor has got a knife to its neck and is like, You let us out of this fucking house within it for goddamn years of eating so many domesticated animals.
SPEAKER_00It's the best performance because you really believe he wants to get out of this house.
SPEAKER_01It's almost like this is his last scene, and he's like, I my contract ends today! Let me out of the film.
SPEAKER_00I signed up for four season narcos, and this is my fourth season, technically, legally. Yeah. I'm out. He's like, You've got to go. I'm an HBO boy. I'm a Disney Plus hella.
SPEAKER_01Do you reckon they're sitting at home going, Oh, that was a fucking hit? We've got to go back.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna do the last house again, but on a boat with that motley crew. It must be, oh wow, that's good. It must be you must be over the moon. But then also, like, what is this? Like, you know, it's got horrible reviews. You'd be like, fuck it, again.
SPEAKER_01And I think everybody's also been kind of mean to the leads.
SPEAKER_00I don't think they can sort of separate them. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, I did not know that. They're great.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think they're doing great with the material. Could they do horrible reviews? What could they do?
SPEAKER_00I know. Um, do we Well, let's talk about it. So they say, you know, there is a big twist. I guess. I guess. I couldn't make heads or tails of the twist. No, so so the girl goes, Hey Dad, I know you're really acting your heart out, but maybe let's not kill the squid.
SPEAKER_01He's like, well, she's like, Dad, think through flashback key scenes that make you remember that maybe they're not all bad. You're right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It was good. It was good.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if this the movie presents it as a twist, and yet it is one of those things where somebody's gone, Well, the movie's gotta have a twist. And they go, Well, just do this. Well, that's not really a twist, but it's almost a twist.
SPEAKER_00It did have all the emotional pay for silver twist, or yeah. The It's all wet. It's all wet. And I didn't really and it's wet.
SPEAKER_01The whale is nice. Yeah. But I don't know why the whale would be nice. Um why did it make a connection? Because we never see these two bonds. No, we don't see the squid and her gathering.
SPEAKER_00I think the girl's a bit of a permit for the squid. Just writing down the colour. They're all exhibitionists. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They're all she's like, it's like her own version of the gun is like drawing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, which I mean that's art. That's art.
SPEAKER_01I'm glad they've got modern day art. Isn't that nuts that her drawings will be like the Picasso of their next generation?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, pretty much. And just by like default. Like they're just like, all right, anyone got any art going? It's like, I got this drawing. It's like, yeah, well, that's the best painting we can go.
SPEAKER_01I reckon there wasn't a gotten out of the house and the dad would have turned to his son and he's like, we're gonna go looking for porn and it's gonna blow your fucking mind. Brother. Just two guys, two fellas we're gonna go out, we're gonna hit the fucking town, bro. We're gonna get nasty with it. Dude, you never even have beer. It's gonna dude, beer and porn is the best. We're taking this boat and we are going to Colombia, and I'm gonna get you the purest Coke. It's like you don't even fucking know what that is, it's gonna blow your mind. You thought you were happy getting out of the house once you're out of the house with coke.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, what a rush. Now, so so the sea guy goes, wait, stop, other sea squids, don't kill them. And then squids Are they hungry?
SPEAKER_01Why do they attack?
SPEAKER_00No idea. I I think they have Why is the rain glue? I think they have water in them. Because we're saying it's not water. Right. They never say that, but I think they like turning things into salt. Is that?
SPEAKER_01Because when they kill other people, are they disintegrating them or eating them? Like what are they doing to them?
SPEAKER_00They're sucking the water out. Which I quite I quite like that uh that salt uh editing thing where they shh all. That's quite cool.
SPEAKER_01So do we think that they've come out of the sea because they're hungry for salt?
SPEAKER_00Or fresh water maybe. Or there's rain. I have no idea what the squid's motivation is. But they're not out of like a river. Yeah, I'm agreeing with you.
SPEAKER_01Imagine if it turns out they're from the river. Oh, that'd be huge. And then they get attacked by the sea.
SPEAKER_00That's a sea cool.
SPEAKER_01I just thought it was it was also sort of crazy to me that they go, We we will now venture out to the sea. And I go, well, you'll be that's where you're least safe.
SPEAKER_00That's where their home is. And I and I know they had a verbal agreement with this one squid saying don't kill them, but surely halfway across the globe to Colombia, they're like, hey, that's free people. I can kill them. Unless do they have like a group for last year?
SPEAKER_01You know, Dale marked them when they left the last house. You shitting me. Dale, Dale marked marking them. That's crazy. If Dale marked them, they must be stand up fellas.
SPEAKER_00I like they've got a strong Hey, they've been marked.
SPEAKER_01I also thought, too, are they doing a political message about like taking care of the ocean? Because I thought when they were like the earth needs to be punished for what they're doing to the water. Because at one stage they look up to the sky and they go, Well, the pollution clears when everybody's locked in for so long. And uh their response to that is take another like boat out to the water.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe just start, you know, pouring diesel in a la BP, you know? Uh 2018.
SPEAKER_01The sun's like, I'm gonna shit off the side.
SPEAKER_00They're like, use the toilet downstairs, and he's like, the side. I've been using a bone toilet for five years. I am shitting purely into the ocean. Fuck these squids. I've lost the best years of my life, and now my only people that I know are my family. I am shitting in their home.
SPEAKER_01In the in the in the IMDB trivia should also say, Did you know there's also a bone toilet that was cut? The bone room tested so well with audiences that they added the toilet and then they both were getting around the cowards.
SPEAKER_00The trivia just becomes just scrunched the producer, just like, yeah, so this film could have been better if some fucking DP's fucking like got their shit together, huh? It always ends with like a Now have your say.
SPEAKER_01What is this?
SPEAKER_0085 of the people found that helpful. It's just a very cool- and again, no down votes. Um but yeah, they they sail across the seas and and they do a monologue, and it is them being like, we've learnt a lot, and water is very important, and so is sea, and so is family, and sometimes you've got to be in the house, and sometimes you don't need to be in the house, and that's why we've decided to do this.
SPEAKER_01It felt like to me they chat GPT'd a narration that said, Can you tie it together as best you can? And it spat out if you go outside, the land is there, but when you're at the sea, you're clear. And you go, okay.
SPEAKER_00Could you make it rhyme? No. AI's not that powerful yet. It can't do limericks. Shut down. Like Greta Lee the cyborg.
SPEAKER_01She wasn't the the if the twist. I should have got wet. I got wet. I would love a movie whether it's a twist on a twist. There's sea monsters, but also you married a cyborg.
SPEAKER_00But just her turning to camera and then her eye turns red. You're just like, oh my god, it's a Tron Aries sequel. Jared's back. Do you think if that didn't bomb that wouldn't have come out that he was an abuser? And also, what was crazy? He was a horrible man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I yeah. I reckon Disney knew what they were like run that story after.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. If he gets, if it makes a bill, he's fine.
SPEAKER_01It would have been probably, I mean, nobody saw fucking bills. They walk into the CE's office.
SPEAKER_00If it makes money, I'm clear.
SPEAKER_01Bob Iker's like, no. They're like, what's your next thing? Skeletor, and they're like, so there's no your face ain't in it? Excellent. Oscar. Who would watch The Last House?
SPEAKER_00I have not watched a Netflix film in about uh about a year now, I'd say, like a proper one. Um, this is this is what it's for. Yeah. This is the good stuff. Yeah. Like they are like people are like, where's the mid-budget uh film? It's here. Yeah, it's on Netflix, unfortunately. And to that point, it is so bombastic and so silly that you really can't not like it. Yeah. It's so dumb and it keeps you going. Like it's so manufactured. Like I almost it's almost impressive. Like they've got a turd on their hands, and then using their Netflix powers, they've gone, it will be so calculatedly shit. Yeah. It's very impressive.
SPEAKER_01It's like they it's like there's diarrhea, and Netflix went, BAM! Yeah, it's a solid. Yeah. And you're like, look at this. Wow. Three. Wow. That's like that's like a perfect poop. It's like we just made it the emoji. That's how good this poop is now. And everybody's going, wow, thank we thought it'd be diarrhea. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I was I was I I have my hand cupped to cup it up. Not me. I had my fummies to ready to pick it up. Really easy. You could pull it, you can throw it around, it doesn't crumble. No, no. It's a very it's a good stool sample.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I guess if you're a lover of good stool, uh, this is one's for you. Carl, who would watch The Last House?
SPEAKER_01I think this is like the the pinnacle of what a Netflix film is. And I think if you are somebody that loves a bad Netflix film, this is like the most entertaining I've seen of the bunch. Yeah. Because I think like Bird Box is like better directed and and written and acted and stuff like that while still not being that good. Yeah. Whereas this is so bizarre to be like, oh, we're gonna put them in weird ethical situations, but we're not really going to explore them. Explore them or what that does to them mentally, and will sometimes be an action movie and will sometimes be uh a comedy or a drama, and we're really gonna challenge the actors occasionally. Yeah. And then on top of that, we're gonna set it up that it's a sci-fi film, but really it's a fantasy film with sea creatures. It's just and it's a meditation on COVID and the environment, but we've got nothing to say. No, it's just excellent.
SPEAKER_00It really is great, yeah. It's just fun. I and I I wonder if people are getting if and maybe it's just the Netflix or a spiral of this. We watch it go everything, and then people then start watching because just on the first page, like, I'll check it out. Um, I wonder if people turn this off because I it is a slow start, I think.
SPEAKER_01I think, yeah, they're they're setting up a movie that it not really continues to be. But I think the I think it maybe grabs people enough to be like, why are they stuck in the mystery is just like, what is up with this raid?
SPEAKER_00What the fuck is that? And that kind of you through the first quarter, yeah. And you're like, okay, see, let's freaking go, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's good stuff.
SPEAKER_01It's great stuff. Yeah. Alright, Oscar. We're gonna have to call it there. Yeah, that's it. And that's the show. That's the show.
SPEAKER_00And that's the last and this was the last episode of the last house of the last podcast. I know, and we thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. What are we doing next week?