Do you often feel stuck or trapped? Maybe even limited? Does it feel like time is just not enough? Or that some resources are unreachable? It’s okay, you’re not alone.
In today’s episode of The Frame of Mind Coaching™ Podcast, it’s my pleasure to coach Tony Mizell, CEO and Founder of the consulting firm Mark Your Trade, helping with social media management, video creation, ad creation, as well as it also does SEO and website development.
And just as many leaders, Tony points out the difficulties of having both a business and young kids while working from home, as he feels the balancing act between both worlds is just not working. This is a very interesting conversation where we address how our belief systems can make us feel limited and how this can cause us to get in our own way, closing ourselves to finding solutions while blaming it all on external factors.
Recently, I had a similar conversation with Gautham Pasupuleti, CEO, Chairman and Managing Director at Biodesign Innovation Labs, in a different context, but the problem at hand (and its solution) is the same. You can listen to Gautham's episode here.
And click here to listen to Tony's episode:
https://www.frameofmindcoaching.com/the-frame-of-mind-coaching-podcast
Do you feel this way too? Do you think your beliefs are creating thinking blockages in your life? Share your story! If there's a challenge you'd like to discuss here on the podcast or privately, please reach out to me at:
kim@frameofmindcoaching.com
Kim Ades: [00:00:05]
Hello, hello. My name is Kim Ades and I'm the president and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching, and you have just joined The Frame of Mind Coaching Podcast, where we invite leaders from all over the world to come onto the podcast and get coached live, and in person.
Today my guest is Tony Mizell. He is the CEO of a company called Mark Your Trade.
Tony, welcome.
Tony Mizell: [00:00:29]
Glad to be here, Kim.
Kim Ades: [00:00:30]
So where are you in the world?
Tony Mizell: [00:00:32]
Currently, I'm in New York City.
Kim Ades: [00:00:35]
New York City. Got it. Okay. So, tell us a little bit about your business. What is Mark Your Trade? What do you do? Who do you do it for? How long have you been doing it for? Just fill us in a little bit.
Tony Mizell: [00:00:48]
Well, Mark Your Trade is a consulting firm, and what it does is it helps manage social media profiles. It also does the aspects of building with video content, video creation, ad creation, as well as it also does SEO and website development.
Kim Ades: [00:01:07]
Okay. So from soup to nuts, all of the digital stuff.
Tony Mizell: [00:01:12]
Right.
Kim Ades: [00:01:13]
Okay. And how long have you been doing this for?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:16]
I've been doing this a little bit longer than pandemic, I would say from the beginning of last year.
Kim Ades: [00:01:21]
Okay. So what, a year and a half?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:24]
Right. About approximately a year and a half.
Kim Ades: [00:01:26]
Okay. And do you have a team or are you in it on your own for the moment?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:31]
I made it on my own for the most part, but I do have people that I subcontract workout for.
Kim Ades: [00:01:36]
Okay, perfect. And how has it been going? How has COVID affected your business?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:43]
COVID has affected a kind of multifaceted parts for both my business, 'cause I also do coaching as well.
Kim Ades: [00:01:51]
Oh! What kind of coaching?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:53]
I do public speaking coaching.
Kim Ades: [00:01:55]
Really?
Tony Mizell: [00:01:55]
And Storybrand tele-coaching.
Kim Ades: [00:01:58]
Okay, interesting. So what was the impact? Maybe we can hear a little bit more about your public speaking coaching, but what was the impact of COVID on both of these directions in your life?
Tony Mizell: [00:02:12]
I think it made a huge impact because of the fact that business was going really well. And I actually just started it because from the shift from last year longing, to this year, and it was so early in the year, that it was going really well. And I was building business with people with their in brick and mortar areas, coffee companies, technology companies, a little bit of FinTech, and it was easier to network with those types of people within coffee shops or other areas when I was out socializing.
When COVID hit, everything got shut down, which mean most of those businesses and people, even corporations, most people that would consult with me for either public speaking or for those areas, which made me convert more into that area of the technology realm.
Kim Ades: [00:03:02]
Okay.
Tony Mizell: [00:03:02]
It made it a little bit more challenging because I had more of a backing when I was in face with the person. That being... I'm a more of an extrovert as opposed to an introvert, I would have to stay in those areas.
Kim Ades: [00:03:14]
Right. So now you're stuck at home and you're having a hard time kind of reaching people. Now, would you say that is your greatest challenge? Or what is your greatest challenge right now?
Tony Mizell: [00:03:24]
I would say my greatest challenge is balancing a family life with the business life, and being an entrepreneur on top of it that wasn't really compounded. And it would be different if I was to go into a typical job from nine to five or eleven to seven or something of that nature where you can break away from that, and there was a separation. But I think COVID had a major impact, especially on the family realm when it combines a work.
Kim Ades: [00:03:50]
Well, let me ask you a question. Do you have to stay home? Like, do you have kid responsibilities that required to be where you are?
Tony Mizell: [00:03:58]
Yes, yes.
Kim Ades: [00:03:59]
Tell me, tell me a little bit about that. Like, how many... Tell me about your family.
Tony Mizell: [00:04:05]
So there's three kiddos and my youngest, he's two. He's in the terrible two stage. He'll be three in February.
Kim Ades: [00:04:12]
Okay.
Tony Mizell: [00:04:13]
And of course, my son is doing online school and my daughter sees from another previous marriage in another state, so I don't have to worry about her too much, but...
Kim Ades: [00:04:22]
Okay. So you have two kids at home with you?
Tony Mizell: [00:04:25]
That's correct.
Kim Ades: [00:04:25]
Youngest is two and the next one up is in online school. How old is he?
Tony Mizell: [00:04:30]
He's ten.
Kim Ades: [00:04:31]
10 years old. Okay. And you're married? Do you have a wife? And is she with you? Does she work outside of the house? How does that work?
Tony Mizell: [00:04:40]
Yeah, she works outside of the house...
Kim Ades: [00:04:42]
Okay.
Tony Mizell: [00:04:43]
Unless there was like a COVID scare, in which case sometimes she gets to work from home.
Kim Ades: [00:04:49]
Okay. So you're the full-time parent on duty right now?
Tony Mizell: [00:04:53]
Correct.
Kim Ades: [00:04:54]
And do you have any help with your two year old? Because that requires full-time attention pretty much.
Tony Mizell: [00:05:00]
Right. That's pretty much full-time attention. I've created some patterns and behaviors that help alleviate that, for the most part, but...
Kim Ades: [00:05:09]
Like what? Share with me that... Some of the solutions you've implemented.
Tony Mizell: [00:05:15]
Some of the solutions that I have implemented is I try to burn out a lot of his energy off in the morning. So then when he goes down for a nap, I'm just center focused in those two hours, hour, whatever time I can get in while he's napping. And I go completely center focused in that area. Which Doesn't get a whole lot done, but it's still a full-time job on top of a full-time job.
Kim Ades: [00:05:37]
It sounds like you're trying to cram in your work into a two hour period.
Tony Mizell: [00:05:42]
Correct.
Kim Ades: [00:05:43]
Okay. And I don't know what the rules of operation are right now for you in New York in COVID. Are you interacting with any other human beings? Like, is there any face time with anybody? Or are you absolutely no... no interaction, no one's coming into my house? Like, what's the approach there?
Tony Mizell: [00:06:09]
No, there's not like a whole lot of interaction when it comes to that, because the people that do come in they're typically just family, family members, or friends, which are within the building typically. But outside of that, there's not like a whole lot of interaction. I'll come to the city from time to time, so I can obviously do podcasts or stuff where I need absolute silence or...
Kim Ades: [00:06:28]
So who's at home right now?
Tony Mizell: [00:06:31]
Right now my wife gets to work from home currently, so... That makes sense.
Kim Ades: [00:06:35]
I see. Okay. Okay, so here's what I have found. And I'll share with you some of the... Not only research, but some of the observations that I've seen in working with leaders for the past 16 years. Is that typically they have a few bottlenecks when it comes to their thinking and those thinking bottlenecks affect their ability to tap into solutions. And I'll give you two of them right up front, okay? And I think this applies to you.
Number one is that very often leaders have a certain set of beliefs or a view of the world that is singular or very set in stone, and that view is hard to look past. And so, in your case, you're like, "well, here's my situation and it's pretty much in stone. There's not much I can do about it. And so my solution is to tire him out and squeeze in two hours of work in the afternoon". And while that's great, it's actually not really enough for you to get to move your company forward in any shape or form.
And you might be working at home at night after your kids go to bed, but then that's not conducive to a life, right? "I'm not having much of a life". And so the first thing that you want to do is actually take a note of this to say, what are my beliefs around... And I'll give you the subjects... What are my beliefs around being able to succeed in this two hour period? What are my beliefs around getting more time?
Really, that's the big question. And if I asked you that, "what are your beliefs around getting more time?" What would your answer to me be?
Tony Mizell: [00:08:25]
Make more money so I can find a co-working space.
Kim Ades: [00:08:31]
So you see, what you really did is you gave me an objection. Okay, you're basically saying, "I can't do that because I don't have the money to... I don't have the money to pay for the coworking space". Let's say you did have the money to pay for a co-working space. How would you use that co-working space? You still have a child or two kids to take care of. How would you solve that problem?
Tony Mizell: [00:08:56]
I would ask grandma for help.
Kim Ades: [00:08:58]
Okay. So here's the thing, and you just kind of walked into my hand so beautifully, so I love it. So, number one is we have a set of beliefs that typically get in the way from our ability to do anything we want to do.
Your belief is: "in order to solve this problem, I need to pay for a co-working space and I don't have enough business... And I don't have enough time to fulfill that business, so I'm trapped". Is that accurate?
Tony Mizell: [00:09:26]
That's fairly accurate.
Kim Ades: [00:09:27]
That's fairly accurate. And so what do you have? You've painted a situation where your hands are tied.
The second thinking... Let's call it thinking blockage that I see leaders encounter is that they don't think in terms of unlimited resources. And you demonstrated that perfectly. When I said, so what do you need? You said, "I need more money, which I don't have". You didn't say that, but you did, right? "Which I don't have in order to get a co-working space".
And so basically you're saying I'm limited on time, which is a resource and I'm limited on money, which is another resource. And I have beliefs that I'm stuck. Okay? So your thinking blockage number one is what beliefs do I have? But thinking blockage number two is I also have a limitation of resources.
And what I want to do is challenge you a little bit by saying, you know what? You may not need money to get a co-working space. In fact, I'm in a situation personally, where I'm not going to the office, I'm working from home. I haven't done that my whole entire working life, but now I am, I have an empty office.
I'm not in New York, but I have an empty office and I just canceled my cleaners, because why would they clean an empty office? I'm spending a lot of money for that. I would love an arrangement where someone could go in and literally clean for an hour once a week and use the office as much as they want. They wouldn't have to pay me other than in vacuuming fees.
Tony Mizell: [00:11:08]
That'd be a good idea.
Kim Ades: [00:11:09]
Win-win? Win-win?
Tony Mizell: [00:11:11]
Right.
Kim Ades: [00:11:12]
Right? But you weren't looking for that solution, where are you?
Tony Mizell: [00:11:17]
No.
Kim Ades: [00:11:17]
No! Because you had a belief that said "I'm stuck. I'm limited there. You know, this is my only solution available to me". So whenever we feel stuck, we want to do two things. We want to do a lot more than two things, but here are the first two things is ask yourself, what do I believe to be true about my situation?
And your beliefs are, you know, "I have to be home. I don't have the money. I don't have the time. I can't grow my business. I'm in a catch 22 situation". Then you want to push back on those beliefs and say, "is this true? Do I need money to be able to have a workspace that is feasible? Not necessarily. Can I create a win-win situation? Absolutely. There's a million win-win situations out there.
And then the second question you want to ask is what resource do I need? And what do I believe to be true about the resources that I need and is that true? And very often, one of the greatest limiting beliefs that leaders have is that they need money to pay for the resources they are looking for.
And I will tell you with absolute certainty and a great deal of experience, that that's not always true. That's not always the case. Money makes things work faster. Money makes us get what we want when we want it and how we want it. But money also sometimes prevents us from coming up with creative solutions.
And this is a perfect example of that. And let me tell you a personal story. And this was many, many, many years ago before I owned a coaching company, I owned a different kind of company. And when I first started it, I was... The idea was to help young people acquire life skills. And I remember thinking to myself, I need a space so that I could bring these young people to work with me.
And I had an apartment, you know, I was a young mother. I had a baby at home. What was I going to do? I couldn't bring them to my apartment. And I went to the mall nearby, near my house, and I saw an empty space in the mall, unused space. And I wrote a proposal saying, "Hey, can I use this space for this semester?" Right? It was a working semester from one o'clock to five o'clock every afternoon...
They gave me free space.
Tony Mizell: [00:13:48]
Oh wow.
Kim Ades: [00:13:49]
So, all I'm trying to say to you is that the thing that gets in our way more than anything else is our thinking. And this is a perfect example of that. Especially if you have a grandma who's willing-- your mom, I'm guessing... Who's willing to come in and take care of your kids, even if all you have is four hours every day, during which time your son is sleeping, so it's a little easier on grandma, right?
Tony Mizell: [00:14:20]
Right.
Kim Ades: [00:14:21]
So it could be a win-win-win-win-win all around. And what we really need to do is push back on the thinking that causes us to stay stuck. Does that make sense?
Tony Mizell: [00:14:31]
That makes perfect sense. I'm working on my NLP to kind of figure out those different techniques as well.
Kim Ades: [00:14:40]
Yeah. And I'm not sure if you're aware about what we do with our clients, is we ask them to journal. And when you write things down and you can see it in writing outside of yourself, sometimes it's easier to find solution. And sometimes it's easier to find flaws or limitations in your own thinking.
So I highly recommend that you take a moment whenever you're stuck. Whenever you feel trapped to say what's causing me to feel trapped. And normally that situation itself, isn't creating an entrapment. It's our thinking about that situation and the limitations we impose on the situation that we're not even aware of, that is causing us to feel in the sense of entrapment.
Yes?
Tony Mizell: [00:15:26]
Yes.
Kim Ades: [00:15:27]
Okay, good. Tony, thank you so much for being my guest on the podcast. For those of you who are listening, I hope you walked away with something interesting that perhaps you can apply in your lives.
If you're interested in being a guest on the podcast, please reach out to me.
My email address is Kim@frameofmindcoaching.com
And if you have a challenge that you want to share, but you're not so comfortable sharing it on the podcast, please reach out to me as well.
My email address is Kim@frameofmindcoaching.com
Tony, thank you so much for sharing your challenge with me.
Tony Mizell: [00:16:02]
Thank you for having me.
Kim Ades: [00:16:03]
I don't think you're unique. I think a lot of people can relate.