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In this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle the concept of "organic sex" and whether truly spontaneous intimacy is even possible in a long-term marriage. The myth that good sex should just naturally happen without planning or effort has damaged many marriages and created unrealistic expectations.

• Sex is natural but not naturally perfect - it requires intentional cultivation
• Many couples believe the Hollywood myth that passionate encounters should happen effortlessly 
• The best sex flows from creating space for connection across all dimensions of intimacy
• Physical intimacy is not separate from emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connection
• Seemingly "spontaneous" encounters are actually built on intentional groundwork
• Great sex isn't about spontaneity but about co-creating an environment where intimacy flourishes
• Most of what builds great sex happens outside the bedroom through everyday connection
• When couples focus on building multi-level intimacy, sex becomes a natural byproduct

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an encore episode about reassessing your expectations for your marriage and moving the trajectory of your relationship through personal investment.

1. Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.
2. Instead of asking "What do I want FROM my marriage?", change your perspective with a new question: “What do I want FOR my marriage?” Consider what more you can offer toward your covenant?
3. Begin the assessment of your relationship with humility and self-reflection. Then, have a conversation with your spouse to determine what you can do for them and for your marriage.

 
Download our State of the Covenant resource to help you assess your marriage and start the conversations to build better intimacy in 2025.
intimatecovenant.com/shop

Marriage Retreat 2025 registration opens February 14th: intimatecovenant.com/retreat  

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this "Christmas Q&A Potpourri" episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing segments from previous live Q&A sessions. We're answering the following questions:

• Should I sacrifice my desire for sexual intimacy if my spouse does not desire sex?
• What are your favorite topics of conversation for rejuvenation and reconnection?
• How do I handle my spouse being defensive when i ask them any question?
• How do I grieve unmet expectations?
• How often should we be having date nights and get-aways?
• Do you have any suggestions for making our bedroom a sacred space?

Get the "State of the Covenant" printable worksheet: https://intimatecovenant.com/shop/

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer the following listener questions:

1. What advice do you have for couples that have great sex but struggle talking about sex? We’ve tried conversation starters but the answers are always brief.
2. I’m ashamed how much value I place on my spouses physical appearance. Self-improvement is a good virtue, but how do I ensure my motives are not immoral or shallow
3. I enjoy sleeping naked. My wife hates it. How can I encourage her to try & embrace it regularly. It's a great sensual way to enjoy each other without having sex.
4. I crave physical touch (not just sexually), as a pursuer how do ask for this without coming across as needy?  Rub my back, hold my hand, hug me.  How do I ask?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Support the show

Send us a text

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share another set of clips from the Q&A session at our recent Annual Marriage Retreat. We cover the following questions:

• What ways can I warm my spouse up to more public displays of affection?  
• Discuss navigating, in different seasons, sexual pursuer/responder roles switching. It's not a smooth transition and can be confusing.
• What if you are the sexual AND the emotional persuer??
• I love giving my wife oral pleasure. She never reciprocates yet enjoys receiving. How do I keep from feeling resentful & help her to grow her desire for this?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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This episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kids about pornography.

We also want to thank the sponsors of this year's Retreat:

• Married Dance
• Coconu
• The Dating Divas
• Honoring Intimates
• Ginger & Peach
• Ultimate Intimacy
• Show Her Off
• The Adventure Challenge
• J. Parker

Please support these affiliate companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29
  We’re a Christian-friendly, marriage-centered sex toy and marital aid store for couples that’s nudity-free. 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — https://www.coconu.com
  Coconu is committed to helping people lead healthier, happier lives by offering 100% safe and organic personal care products. 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Strengthening marriages one date at a time.
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!
• Honoring Intimates — https://www.honoringintimates.com/?ref=INTIMATECOVENANT
  Modest and classy premium lingerie, model-free.
  Get 20% off and support Intimate Covenant with your purchase.
• Ginger & Peach — https://www.gingerandpeachlingerie.com/
  Ginger & Peach lingerie is a Christian husband and wife owned brand bringing classy, model-free lingerie to the market.
  Get 10% off your order and support Intimate Covenant with code: “INTIMATECOVENANT" 

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often?

1. Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing.
2. If you feel like you are the only one initiating, keep striving. But, recognize — with gratitude — that your spouse may be contributing a whole lot more to your sexual and emotional relationship than what you immediately recognize.
3. Responders, you can learn to initiate in ways that are comfortable for you and this effort will speak volumes of love to your pursuer.

Also, check out our eCourses, available on our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/courses

What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?
If you’ve been married for more than 5 minutes, you recognize that you and your spouse see sex differently. Our intention with this eCourse is to challenge you to think about your sexual relationship in ways that you might not have ever considered before. We want to facilitate deep introspection and fruitful conversations between you and your spouse to help you build intimacy and oneness.

Make Better Connections
We all suffer occasions when our attempts to connect are ignored or rejected. This course will help you make better connections in your marriage — emotionally and sexually. Learn to pursue and respond to your spouse with passionate, irresistible vulnerability

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages.

• The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructive. But the power of sexual desire can be channeled to constructive, passionate and intimate relationship.
• The damage of hurricane-driven wind and water is unavoidable, but the damage of poorly planned sex is entirely preventable.
• When confronted by unexpected storms in your sex-life, use these challenges to further demonstrate your creativity and self-sacrificial love.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link for special savings and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant
• Dating Divas — https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com?sca_ref=6278443.H6eWDeXGfx
  Shop from this link and your part of your purchase will help support Intimate Covenant. Check out their Sexy Subscription Boxes!

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Covenant.

1. Sexual pursuers may stop for many reasons and it’s often more complicated that just hormones.
2. A change in this dynamic in your relationship should never be ignored and requires an important conversation.
3. The pursuer in this dynamic must be willing to respond with enthusiasm and continue to reach out to make connections wherever possible.

Use this link to get your 2024 Dating Divas Marriage Bundle: https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/INTIMATE2024?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fmarriage-bundle-2024

Kingdom Singles - Houston
For more information and to register: www.intimatecovenant.com/HOUsingles

Intimate Covenant eCourses:
www.intimatecovenant.com/courses

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends. 

1. If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you. 
2. “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by making and receiving bids for connection.
3. Whether your prior rejections have been intentional or unintentional, challenge yourself to see and lean into those bids for connection from your spouse.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant
Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the  reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes.

1. Every step we take away from our spouses, especially physically, has inevitable negative long-term consequences for the relationship. The decision to sleep apart should be weighed carefully and be constantly reevaluated. 
2. As much as is within your power, eliminate the barriers to sleeping together so that you can get be in bed with each other as often as possible.
3. Likewise, separate bedtimes also promote emotional and physical drift away from each other, allowing opportunity for selfishness and betrayal.

As promised, here are the sources for the data that we referenced in this episode:

•  Elsey, Taylor et al. “The role of couple sleep concordance in sleep quality: Attachment as a moderator of associations.” Journal of sleep research vol. 28,5 (2019): e12825. 
• Drews HJ, Drews A. Couple Relationships Are Associated With Increased REM Sleep-A Proof-of-Concept Analysis of a Large Dataset Using Ambulatory Polysomnography. Front Psychiatry. 2021 May 10;12:641102.
• Richter, K., Adam, S., Geiss, L., Peter, L., & Niklewski, G. (2016). Two in a bed: The influence of couple sleeping and chronotypes on relationship and sleep. An overview. Chronobiology International, 33(10), 1464–1472. 
• Troxel WM; Buysse DJ; Matthews KA; Kravitz HM; Bromberger JT; Sowers M; Hall MH. Marital/cohabitation status and history in relation to sleep in midlife women. SLEEP 2010;33(7):973-981.
• Chiao, Chi et al. “Loneliness in older parents: marital transitions, family and social connections, and separate bedrooms for sleep.” BMC geriatrics vol. 21,1 590. 22 Oct. 2021
• Larson JH, Crane DR, Smith CW. (1991). Morning and night couples: The effect of wake and sleep patterns on marital adjustment. J Marital Fam Ther. 17:53–65.
• Ulfberg J, Carter N, Talback M, Edling C. (2000). Adverse health effects among women living with heavy snorers. Health Care Women Int. 21:81–90.
• Gordon, A. M., & Chen, S. (2014). The Role of Sleep in Interpersonal Conflict: Do Sleepless Nights Mean Worse Fights? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(2), 168-175.
• Cartwright, R D, and S Knight. “Silent partners: the wives of sleep apneic patients.” Sleep vol. 10,3 (1987): 244-8. 
• Cascais Costa C, Afreixo V, Cravo J. Impact of Obstructive Sleep Apnea Treatment on Marital Relationships: Sleeping Together Again? Cureus. 2023 Oct 5;15(10):e46513.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

 
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn
 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Cove

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some experiences from their recent trip to China and some life-changing lessons they are bringing back. We think these lessons will impact your marriage too!

1. It’s easy to lose focus on eternal priorities and purpose. Revisit this conversation with your spouse frequently.
2. Changing your circumstances will not change your marriage. To improve your marriage, you have to lean into the conflict and learn to better serve your spouse.
3. We are deeply grateful for all of the amazing and beautiful people whom we have encountered in our Intimate Covenant journey — even those on the other side of the world. Thanks for sharing yourselves with us!

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share excerpts from several different live Q&A sessions recorded at previous live events.

- How do you differentiate between responsive sexual desire and a medical problem resulting in a lack of sex drive?
- How can I keep striving for spiritual and emotional intimacy when my spouse is reluctant to do so?
- How can I overcome shame in my physical appearance that hinders me from giving myself to and fully enjoying physical intimacy with my spouse?
- Is it primarily a man’s responsibility to redeem a marriage?
- Do you have suggestions to make the bedroom a special place for us?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some important news and updates, including a fun blooper reel.

There are multiple ways to help support Xander Moody and his family.

GiveSendGo (https://www.givesendgo.com/supportxander) - This is a crowdfunding site launched by Xander's baseball team organization. 

Blessings Overflow:

• Mail checks (avoid transaction fees) with “Xander Moody” in the memo line to:

Blessings Overflow 

9114 Hermitage Ln

Alvaton, KY 42122

• Venmo (https://account.venmo.com/u/BG-BlessingsOverflow): "Xander Moody" in the message.
• @BG-BlessingsOverflow

FaceBook: Xander Moody Updates  https://www.facebook.com/people/Xander-Moody-Updates/61557283076688/

We would love to see you blow up their social media and their donation site. Thank you for supporting the Moodys and for remembering them before our Father’s throne in your prayers.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the live Q&A session at the Tampa Marriage Day on March 2nd, including:

• How to connect sexually, even during periods of conflict
• How to learn contentment when I desire a certain sex act, but my spouse doesn’t
• How to avoid complacency when things seem “good”
• How to navigate different preferences for sexual frequency
• How to encourage spiritual growth and accountability

Don’t miss early-bird pricing for the Annual Marriage Retreat. Save your spot and save some money with just a $200 deposit by March 15th. Space is limited.
https://www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their responses to a few anonymous questions posed by attendees at a recent Marriage Day in Austin, TX.

• What are some ways we can help prevent our children from feeling shame about sex in marriage to stop the feeling we were raised with?
• Is it OK for me time in a successful marriage?
• How to deal with past relationships interfering with current one… as in constantly comparing oneself to another…
• If I am disinclined toward sex and my spouse feels guilty for initiating (or vice versa), what can we do to improve our time spent on sexual intimacy?
• Is it a sin when saying no to sex due to the demands of the day?
• Is it OK to "keep a secret" from your spouse?

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Your purchase helps support Intimate Covenant AND you get 15% OFF. Coupon Code: intimateconvenant

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener's question about shifting roles roles in the pursuer/responder dynamic. But first, a few important announcements:

• "Covenant Conversations" is the official name for the daily exercise formerly known as "Daily Check-in." Our thanks to Lamar Schrei for suggesting this!
• Registration for the Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat opens on Valentine's Day! www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat

1. Plan to join us for the 7th annual Marriage Retreat in Houston, TX — September 19-21. Registration opens on Valentine’s Day.
2. A shift in the roles of pursuers and responders is common in all relationships. Sometimes these role changes signal something detrimental to the relationship. Often they simply represent typical patterns of growth or seasonal shifts in the relationship.
3. In a healthy relationship, labeling who is the pursuer and who is the responder is far less important than making sure that there is frequent and healthy pursuit and response in all realms of intimacy.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener’s question about struggling to recover from an infrequent and unhealthy sexual relationship.

1. Struggles with sex in a marriage must not be ignored. Intervention and difficult conversations can save YEARS of suffering and shame; even save the marriage itself.
2. The fundamental criteria for a wife to want more sex or different sex, is that the wife must have the expectation of sex worth having.
3. The conflict of sexual frequency and/or sexual variety requires an ongoing conversation and a commitment from each to have as much connecting sex as necessary to promote oneness in the relationship.

ALSO, please vote on social media or by email to rename our Daily Check-In Exercise. Here's the finalists:

• Covenant Conversations
• Connection Point
• Quickie Connection

ANNOUNCING: Tampa Marriage Day, March 2
register here: https://intimatecovenant.com/tampa

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the accomplishments of 2023 and look forward to opportunities in 2024 for Intimate Covenant. We encourage you to do the same for your marriage with a State of the Covenant conversation. 

1. For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.
2. A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
3. Please help support Intimate Covenant by sharing and rating the podcast. We would be especially grateful for you to join us on Patreon.

RESOURCES:
State of the Covenant - conversation guide:  https://intimatecovenant.com/product/state-of-the-covenant/
State of the Covenant podcast episodes:
Episode 74 —  https://www.buzzsprout.com/1253489/9821679
Episode 126 — https://www.buzzsprout.com/1253489/11931486


Sponsored by:
Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com
Where finances meet faith and family.

-----------------------------------------------

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn describe, in detail, the 15-minute ritual conversation that will deepen the intimacy and connection in your marriage.

1. Meaningful conversation
2. Expressions of gratitude and praise
3. Pray together

We referred to these conversation starter resources:

• Ultimate Intimacy Conversation Starter Cards: https://shop.ultimateintimacy.com/products/conversation-starters-card-deck
• Gottman Card Decks: https://www.gottman.com/couples/products/?fwp_couples_products=card-decks

Send us your creative name for this Daily Check-In Ritual and we'll send you FREE, EXCLUSIVE Intimate Covenant SWAG!
podcast@intimatecovenant.com


Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer three listener questions about passionless sex:

• "How can I stop thinking of sex as an obligation when it's physically painful? While we wait for physical healing, how can I enjoy this part of our marriage?”
• “How do you navigate pleasing your spouse when you have no sexual desire and prefer not being touched at all?”
• “How can I enjoy a particular sex act that I get a lot of pleasure from but they do not, but they are willing to do it because they love me.”

In summary,

1. Refuse to let sex become passionless and simply a place of obligation — for yourself or your spouse.
2. To help improve your own desire and passion, start by trying to focus on one simple thing that can anticipate and enjoy each time you make love.
3. Don’t settle for passionless sex with your spouse. Seek to compassionately understand your spouse’s challenges and seek only sex that is connecting and mutually pleasurable.

Relevant previous episodes:

• Episode 76 - Does My Spouse Owe Me Sex? (1/17/2022)
• Episode 31- When Sex Is Painful (3/8/2021)

STATE OF THE COVENANT:
It's almost a New Year and a great time to think about reassessing the state of your marriage and setting some goals together to improve the strength and intimacy of your relationship. Consider our resource to help get these important conversations started: The State of the Covenant


Support these business that support Intimate Covenant:

• Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com
  Where finances meet faith and family.
• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Inti

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss  how to handle the inevitable emotional and sexual rejections in your marriage relationship.

1. Rejection almost always occurs due to multiple factors that have to do with how you are presenting the bid and with your spouse’s circumstances.
2. Angry outbursts or pouting will not get you what you want - rather, these kinds of reactions prove that you are unsafe, self-centered, and undesirable.
3. Instead, consider the perfect pursuer, Jesus. Even he gets rejected a majority of times. Follow his example and pursue relentlessly and selflessly.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing several segments from Q&A sessions that didn't make it into a previous episode. But, these questions are too good to leave out, so we're excited to include them here!

Here’s what we’re covering:

• How do I have sex when I’m disappointed in or upset with my spouse?
• How can we handle infertility with faith and godliness?
• Should we film ourselves having sex?
• How can I overcome body shame that is hindering my sexual enjoyment and relationship?
• How to have deeper emotionally connective conversations?

Sponsored by:
Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com
Where finances meet faith and family.

-----------------------------------------------

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimatecovenant for 20% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 20% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn are pulling from submitted questions regarding the theme of female orgasms. Specifically, how can a husband help his wife orgasm? How can a wife learn to orgasm in different ways? And how important is a wife’s orgasm, anyway?
Take-Aways: 

1. Husbands often place far too much emphasis on their wives orgasm and miss the far more important goal of seeking connection during sex.
2. If a wife seeks to improve her ability to orgasm, a better understanding of her barriers is required. Seek to understand any possible places of sexual shame. Lean into the journey to explore your own body and sexuality.

Link to The Orgasm Course by Sheila Gregoire
(https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/orgasm-course-bundle)

This episode is sponsored by:
Open Door Financial Advisors
www.opendoorfa.com
Where finances meet faith and family.
-----------------------------------------------
Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:
Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 (Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant. )
Coconu — http://www.coconu.com Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
The Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.comUse coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!
  Cherishing, Matt & Jenn
PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.
Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant
Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

www.intimatecovenant.comIntimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the hymen -- facts and fiction -- as well as other misconceptions about the concept of virginity.

1. There is no “virginity test.” The presence, absence, or any other physical appearance of a hymen is not a reliable indicator of a woman’s previous sexual activity. The same is true for vaginal bleeding or pain with initial sexual experience. Every women has a different experience.
2. “Virginity” does not determine someone’s worth as a person or as a future spouse.
3. While the ideal is that a person refrain from premarital sex, a person’s current sexual attitudes and behaviors are far more important than their past.

Please support these companies that support Intimate Covenant:

• Married Dance — https://marrieddance.com/?aff=29 
  Shop from this link and part of your purchase will support Intimate Covenant.  
• Coconu — http://www.coconu.com 
  Coupon Code: intimateconvenant for 15% off your purchase
• Adventure Challenge — https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
  Use coupon code: intimatecovenant for 10% off your purchase.

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Contact the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: podcast@intimatecovenant.com
 
Thanks for sharing, rating, reviewing and subscribing!

  
  Cherishing,
  Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality.

Join us at Patreon: www.patreon.com/intimatecovenant

Consider a one-time gift: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

 www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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