It's a local holiday! Town Council doesn't want you to worry about the lights. Or the sounds. In fact, just consider not worrying about anything, ever. A stranger has come to Braedon, and he's here to stay- welcome, Dr. Olseon, to our weird little slice of civilization. We are happy you're here. Plus, a phone call.
If you have any information about the location of either Elliot Housely, or Tanner Walling, please contact the RCMP.
The voice of Charlotte Mulroy is Maia Syratt. The voice of today's sponsor is Conner (https://www.facebook.com/conner.ledge.9)
Nowhere On Air is created, voiced and produced by Jess Syratt. Cover art by Moon Hermit Crab on Instagram.
Have a small town story to tell you think our listeners might enjoy (that by no means has to be true)? Want to be one of our callers, or "sponsors"? Have questions about any of that, or anything, or just want to say hi?
We'd love to hear from you! Email us at nowhere.onair@gmail.com. Or, find us on twitter, @NowhereOnAir
For a little bit more info on the aforementioned "us," try visiting our website: https://nowhereonairpodcast.weebly.com/
It's a local holiday! Town Council doesn't want you to worry about the lights. Or the sounds. In fact, just consider not worrying about anything, ever. A stranger has come to Braedon, and he's here to stay- welcome, Dr. Olseon, to our weird little slice of civilization. We are happy you're here. Plus, a phone call.
If you have any information about the location of either Elliot Housely, or Tanner Walling, please contact the RCMP.
The voice of Charlotte Mulroy is Maia Syratt. The voice of today's sponsor is Conner (https://www.facebook.com/conner.ledge.9)
Nowhere On Air is created, voiced and produced by Jess Syratt. Cover art by Moon Hermit Crab on Instagram.
Have a small town story to tell you think our listeners might enjoy (that by no means has to be true)? Want to be one of our callers, or "sponsors"? Have questions about any of that, or anything, or just want to say hi?
We'd love to hear from you! Email us at nowhere.onair@gmail.com. Or, find us on twitter, @NowhereOnAir
For a little bit more info on the aforementioned "us," try visiting our website: https://nowhereonairpodcast.weebly.com/
[THEME MUSIC]
First on tonight’s show, a community update.
It is one of my favourite local holidays, folks! That’s right. The day where we all gather in the fields to release whatever sound is trapped in the caverns of our chests, whether it be a scream, a guttural shout, a throat-scraping sob, or even a soft little whisper. As long as it is a truth, it is acceptably expressed in the holiday spirit. Remember, it’s recommended you wear comfortable, loose fitting clothes you can move in and bring plenty of water to drink.
However, if the weather is less favourable, please remember to bundle up, and maybe switch that water for some herbal tea.
A little fun fact for you Braedonites, and this may surprise some of you, but this holiday isn’t really observed anywhere else, as far as I’m aware. I’m not sure why. It’s very cathartic.
*transition*
Town Council doesn’t want you to worry about the strange, deep, pulsing mechanical noises still coming from the building on the other side of the river. They’ve now acknowledged the noises.
“It’s … renovations,” they said in their statement, though none of the tradesmen in town were hired, which is the usual procedure for municipal works. When asked what work was specifically being done, the representative said, quote “Oh, you know, fixing… stuff.”
One brave reporter asked the Town Council representative if the lights reported were also a result of these renovations, and while he didn’t receive a reply, I think that in and of itself is a reply, and it’s safe to assume that wordless reply means yes.
So, folks. Stuff is getting fixed, and when it gets fixed, it will be… fixed. That’s all I have for you for the time being.
Speaking of the Time Being, you know, the one that’s hovering just out of sight, the weight of which you can always feel as this gentle, ever present dread.
Speaking of that Time Being:
You should not be speaking about the Time being. If you think you have seen the Time Being, you are mistaken.
You shouldn’t really know about it either, but that’s my bad. Try to forget what I have said. If you can’t forget, pretending to forget works just as well.
To review: the renovations are real. You, as far as I’m aware, are real. I, I think it's safe to assume, am also real. The Time Being, as far as you’re concerned, is not real.
Let’s hear a word from today’s sponsor:
You’ve probably been here before, we just made sure you forgot.
Those radio and signal towers out here have more than one purpose.
Did you even stop to wonder why there were so many of them?
If you’ve ever gotten an ominous feeling while looking at those steel-cage stalagmites piercing the sky, like you’re being targeted by those spearheads blinking in the distance, like there’s something more- you’re most certainly right about them.
If you’ve ever felt as though you’re being watched by invisible eyes, out on the rolling expanse of ancient fields, impossibly old mountains, and a sky that will exist long after your dust is dust, you most certainly are.
Remember: while you look upon nature, something is looking back at you. And if you look upon something you aren’t meant to see, you will be made to forget. Don’t worry about it.
For now, enjoy the view.
Thank you, Travel Alberta, for sponsoring today’s show.
*music*
A stranger was seen in town today, and it sounds like he’s here to stay- how exciting, folks! And I saw him with my own eyes- I was at the post office sending my weekly postcard off to a location I am under oath not to disclose and there he was! Standing at the counter, talking to postman Kevin about maps and the best place in town to get takeout. Considering we only have four options- a good increase from last year's two options- it was a short conversation that I was definitely NOT eavesdropping on.
Kevin kept asking him general, but personal questions, and I continued to not eavesdrop. The stranger said his name was Clark- Clark something, uh I can’t remember, Oleson! Clark Oleson- and that he was a doctor, doing his residency in rural medicine in the Braedon health clinic. Another doctor, ladies and gentleman! Maybe he’ll stay, and Doctor Simmons can finally retire. It’s about time, she deserves it for all she’s done for our community.
Anyways, I went up to the counter to mail my postcard, and I thought- Jess, you’re going to regret not introducing yourself to the newcomer and getting all the details for your lovely listeners. So, I was like “What brings you to Braedon, stranger?” while handing Kevin the postcard, and he was like “I just moved here.” And I acted like I didn’t know because, again, I was not eavesdropping at all, and so I introduced myself. Like, properly. I stuck out my hand and was like “my name’s Jess.” even though I wanted to say a lot more cool stuff like:
“I host the only radio show in town, I moved here from out of town too, though moved is loose term, My middle name is Sarah, My blood type is O+, and that weird scar you can probably feel while shaking my hand is from climbing an old rusty piece of farm equipment on the edge of farmer Daniel’s field!” and wanted to ask him a bunch of questions so I could tell all of you about our new neighbour. But I couldn’t. That felt a little… strong.
He seemed very nervous, wide eyed like one of those Things That Aren’t Deer, the ones that you sometimes catch in your headlights when driving after 3am. But he was brave and he said
“Clark. Nice to meet you.”
No one had ever said that to me before, listeners. Nice to meet you, so I said “You too.” That’s what you’re supposed to say, right? It’s been a long time since I’ve met a new person. I was doing my best.
He definitely held my hand too long. It was so… strange. Like it often is when one meets a stranger. It was one of those handshakes. Strange. But steady? And moisturized. It’s so dry out here you don’t meet many people with smooth hands. It made me realize I probably should’ve put lotion on this morning but I didn’t know I’d be shaking hands with the first new person in town since I got here.
After thinking all this, we both let go and I said “If you need anything, please ask!” That’s a good thing to say, right? He seems so… normal. I was doing my best to be normal too.
I’m also doing my best to explain him to you. Words can seldom do the complexities of people justice.
He has the eyes of a person who knows things. He looks like someone with answers to questions we haven’t encountered yet.
Anyways: Dr. Oleson, if you are listening, on behalf of our little community, welcome! As we say in Braedon: Once you’re here, you’re nowhere. Leave while you still can.
I’m kidding. But, speaking from experience, it’s easier than you’d think to get trapped here. I would know. But, it’s not the worst place to be stuck.
*transition*
Here’s something to think about:
They say, somewhere, there’s an ocean. Specifically, 12 hours and 17 minutes, or 1034 KM west. So they say. It is blue, so they say, and the surface of the water shimmers in the sunlight like sapphires. It tastes like salt, and has a distinct and soul-refreshing smell. It is vast, and seemingly- though not literally- endless. So they say.
You might be wondering: who are they? Why are they saying so many things about the ocean? They’re saying so much it almost sounds like they’re trying to cover for something, like they’re trying to convince us of a lie…
In other news, who’s to say the ocean actually exists? I mean, I’ve never seen it. And why should I trust what they say?
Here’s a public service announcement:
The veil between worlds is thinnest at gas stations after midnight. Those who work there are specifically trained in both customer and extra-dimensional management. You should always be careful in the sweets aisle, or by the coffee machines. Those are the places where you’re most prone to slip through. When the night is long and you’re weary from travelling. That is when you are your most dimensionally vulnerable.
I should know. That’s how I got here.
This concludes our public service announcement.
And now, a weather update:
Weatherman Todd called during the break to say it’s snowing! Strangely late for the first snow of the winter season, but it's the first and most certainly, definitely, and undeniably not the last. Please be sure you’re driving safe out there as the roads start to get icy.
There is no new information on either of the missing persons cases- 10 year old Tanner Walling and 17 year old Elliot Housley are both still officially missing persons and the cases are open, investigations ongoing. If you have any information, please call the local RCMP office.
JESS: You know what? I’m feeling conversational, listeners. And we’re done with our news recap and updates… call on into the station and we can talk about whatever you like! We’ll take our first call right after this quick little break…
Caller one, you’re on air.
CHARLOTTE: Hi Jess.
Jess: Mrs. Mulroy? How are you tonight, Charlotte?
CHARLOTTE: I’m okay, thanks.
Jess: Congrats on being our caller this evening- what is it you’d like to talk about? Remember, you’re on air. The town is listening.
CHARLOTTE: Well as you all probably already know, my husband- John- works down in the mine, the one just a half hour outside of town. Quite a few of the fellas around here do. Anyways, he came home three nights ago and he was complaining about feeling lousy, but I thought maybe he just overworked himself like he always does… but this morning, well…
Jess: Well, what? Everything okay?
CHARLOTTE: He just keeps getting sicker, too sick to go back to work, too sick to get out of bed, too sick to even eat- I’ve never seen anything like it. I spoke to Marnie and Sarah- Sarah Lohmiller- and they said it’s been the same for their husbands. They both work down in the mines with my John. They came home sick and just keep getting worse.
Jess: I’m very sorry to hear that- is there anything we can do to help your families at this time?
CHARLOTTE: That’s very kind, but right now I just want to get the word out that something’s not right.
Jess: Have you informed Town Council? If there’s a flu or illness spreading round the workers, the health centre-
CHARLOTTE: I’ve seen the flu, and this ain’t it. And I’ve spoken to town council- and they told me not to worry, but I can’t help it. I haven’t spoken to every family who’s got someone working down there in the dark, but I wanted to say- out in the open- that if they’ve got the same thing going on, to please, reach out to me. If there’s enough of us, maybe we can urge people to take this seriously. I just have a feeling that something’s wrong. Deep down, wrong. Unnatural
Jess: Thank you for calling this in, Charlotte. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here at the studio should you need anything at all- same goes for any family in this situation.
CHARLOTTE: Thank you, Jess. I just hope getting the word out about this will help.
JESS: (INTERFERENCE) To all you listeners: let us know if you or someone you know works in the mines and is also suffering from this mystery condition. Tweet us, email us, come talk to me on the street if you see me. We’ll get to the bottom of this like we do all things: together. (FADES OUT, DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES)