Breaking News: Tanner Walling is home. Welcome home Tanner! We cannot express how happy we are, and we can't wait to talk to you about where you've been and what happened. Remember that security system Town Council was developing? It is now officially public, expect to hear from them soon! Weatherman Todd has a dreamy forecast for us today. An update on Johannah Hilburn, and a new... opportunity for the local RCMP.
The voice of Clark Olsen is Isaac Gokarn.
Nowhere, On Air is created, voiced and produced by Jess Syratt. Cover art by Moon Hermit Crab on Instagram.
Have a small town story to tell you think our listeners might enjoy (that by no means has to be true)? Want to be one of our callers, or "sponsors"? Have questions about any of that, or anything, or just want to say hi?
We'd love to hear from you! Email us at nowhere.onair@gmail.com. Or, find us on twitter, @NowhereOnAir
For a little bit more info on the aforementioned "us," try visiting our website: https://nowhereonairpodcast.weebly.com/
Breaking News: Tanner Walling is home. Welcome home Tanner! We cannot express how happy we are, and we can't wait to talk to you about where you've been and what happened. Remember that security system Town Council was developing? It is now officially public, expect to hear from them soon! Weatherman Todd has a dreamy forecast for us today. An update on Johannah Hilburn, and a new... opportunity for the local RCMP.
The voice of Clark Olsen is Isaac Gokarn.
Nowhere, On Air is created, voiced and produced by Jess Syratt. Cover art by Moon Hermit Crab on Instagram.
Have a small town story to tell you think our listeners might enjoy (that by no means has to be true)? Want to be one of our callers, or "sponsors"? Have questions about any of that, or anything, or just want to say hi?
We'd love to hear from you! Email us at nowhere.onair@gmail.com. Or, find us on twitter, @NowhereOnAir
For a little bit more info on the aforementioned "us," try visiting our website: https://nowhereonairpodcast.weebly.com/
[THEME MUSIC]
JESS: Breaking news: Tanner Walling has come home.
The RCMP announced in a statement last night that he has been returned to Braedon’s wide open arms by our very own, very mysterious guests the Faceless. Reportedly, one of the members found him wandering in Farmer Daniels’ northernmost field in the early hours of the morning, and promptly brought him to the RCMP station.
Now, seeing as we can’t talk directly to them… If there was any member of the Faceless listening to the broadcast who was possibly responsible for aiding Tanner Walling in his return, we might say something like “Thank you! Sincerely, and from the deepest part of our red, bloody, beating hearts: thank you.”
Tanner Walling is home. He has returned…
But, according to other reports we’ve received, he has returned… altered. Most noticeably in age. Tanner Walling, as we all know, was 10 when he mysteriously vanished last month, and has somehow returned 25 years of age. Apparently, he also now has a number of mysterious tattoos and is missing his left hand.
When asked for a comment on where he was and what happened, all he had to say is he, quote, “was more or less safe”, unquote, and that he, quote, “is happy to be home” and “can now speak french, ukranian, arameic, and read ancient runes.” unquote. When asked about the 15 year age jump, he simply laughed- not a mean laugh, but a light, knowing chuckle and said, “I’ve been craving a bacon farmer’s wrap with extra sauce from Tim Hortons for longer than you can cosmically fathom.” And then left, presumably, to go to Tim Hortons, and then hopefully his mother’s house. I think it's safe to say he has some catching up to do with his family.
Well, Tanner Walling, we are happy you’re safe. Welcome home. This is the best news we’ve had in a long time. If you are willing and allowed to share your story with anyone, please, please contact us here at the station before town council debriefs you. I think we’d have a lot to talk about.
And, before we start getting questions about this: it is unclear as to whether or not Tanner has any information on Elliot Houseley’s disappearance, or the disappearances of Cynthia Abernathy and April Beckett- if there even is any sort connection at all. As always, as more information becomes available to us, we will do our best to pass it on at whatever level of truth we are permitted to abide by.
*TRANSITION*
Remember that security system Town Council was developing? The one with the strange, impossible phone number that could contact you through your device directly and with an intrusive level of… closeness? Well, we received a statement from them today via this new system saying that starting today, it will officially be made public, which means two things:
One, we are now allowed to talk about it openly and now without risk of consequence, as its presence is not one they wish for us to deny. The security system is real and functional and has now been applied to all devices. They want to be sure you are aware of this.
And secondly, I’m afraid we will all be subject to its… surveillance. Whereas earlier it seemed to be focused on a select few- namely myself, and others-- who wish to remain anonymous and the names of whom are definitely not on a list that’s currently pinned to the walls of the studio which are not lined with cork boards, string, and photographs.
To recap:
The security system is now activated.
What does this mean for you and your families?
You know the feeling you get sometimes? Like you’re being watched? Well, from now on, it will be more than just be a feeling anymore.
*TRANSITION*
Now, on to the weather forecast!
Weatherman Todd had to cancel our meeting again this morning, but was able to slip a little note through the makeshift mailslot on my trailer door. And by makeshift mailslot, I mean there’s a massive slash through my screen door that allows someone to tuck something in between the screen door and the door door. Just for the record, the slash wasn’t always there, and I didn’t create it. Just in case you were curious.
Anyways!
According to Weatherman Todd, there was, uh, precipitation of a curious nature that occurred over the afternoon. He says he thinks it’s safe to say there’s a low chance of it happening again tonight or ever again, maybe even a zero percent chance, but, essentially, if he is understanding his readings correctly, it seems we had, instead of another snowfall, or even a rainfall, we had a “dreamfall” for lack of better terms. I can’t really explain, and neither can he, exactly how this happened or what it means, but Weatherman Todd says he’s sure everyone’s noticed the strange masses scattered around the area.
Officially, he cannot give a professional opinion as this is beyond his expertise. Unofficially, he is at a loss for words. He explains that when he submitted his report to Town Council for approval, they sent a message back requesting people start recording where the dreams are being found, to assist with the ‘clean up’ process.
So, when you’re out and about this evening, folks, please keep track of dreams, when and where you find them. We’re all in this little storm together.
*TRANSITION*
As you may remember, in a previous broadcast we reported on sightings of the spectral presence of historical outlaw Johannah Hillburn here in town. Since that first report, she’s been pretty busy. Most notably and most recently, Johannah was able to rob Martin’s grocery store sometime last night. Now, the robbery in and of itself was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, Martin told me when I spoke to him following the ordeal, nothing was stolen that couldn’t easily be replaced, and Martin didn’t think it was right to disturb the dead by intervening in any way.
Town Council unfortunately disagreed. Thanks to the aforementioned security system, they were able to witness the robbery, and promptly deployed the RCMP to respond and resolve the situation. However, and understandably, there was little the officers were able to do against what I don’t think is wrong to call a ghost.
In light of this situation, and other recent situations cited- such as the frequent disappearances, reports of strange figures, inexplicable feats of nature, and the still not officially identified body found in the Crowsnest River- a Town Council representative has come forward to say that they intend to develop and implement a new, mandatory, helpful training program for the Braedon RCMP force. The representative explained that while not every officer will be selected for this program, it will be for all of the officers benefit. More information will be passed on to the public as they work out the logistics.
Thank you, Town Council, for your benevolence and- (INTERFERENCE).
*TRANSITION*
Following our earlier announcement, some people have called in asking how to identify whether the strange, dark masses found around town and down in the river valley are in fact tangible manifestations of dreams, or something else. Town council very helpfully submitted to us a list to assist in verifying the nature of the strange masses you may encounter.
Dreams are medium sized,though I’m not sure in comparison to what... slippery and quite heavy. Colours range from brown-based iridescent, the grey of the sky in tornado season, other, or unidentifiable. Red, or blue masses should not be interacted with.
Dreams, also, should smell like honey and cedar, those cinnamon donuts from a fairground, or rain-sodden soil. They should make you feel like you are standing with an old friend- after all, you probably are. If the presence of the mass makes you feel as though you are being threatened or are otherwise in danger, you are. Your feelings know more than you do. You are at one with yourself. Trust your heart and run.
Town Council's final instructions, sent to my phone through the security system, um, are as follows:
Report both dreams and the things that aren’t dreams to the stone statue in the town centre for extraction, and try not to think about it any more.
There’s a double text following that says that last part isn’t a request. Do not think about them anymore.
One final note before we stop thinking about it, because if I don’t say it I’m going to do nothing but think about them:
It's weird that there’s more than one y’know, thing, of a… unique nature scattered around our little township today, these dreams and… something else, I’m sure it's just a coincidence.
*TRANSITION*
This is the fourth or fifth story of its kind, folks, but another encounter with the “person-shaped-things in suits” was reported to us by Old Miss Betty Miller, and by reported to us I mean she cornered me in the post office this morning to tell me two things.
One, that “those local punks, that gang of renegades, they’ve been playing loud music and drinking soda pop down in the fields-” which wasn’t news to me, or anyone. But it’s good to know the teens are still acting like teens. As long as they’re bundled up for the weather, and aren’t committing any federal offences, I think we’re okay.
But, more importantly, the second thing she had to say was that she saw two shadowed, people-like shapes standing in the alley behind her house last night while she was taking out the garbage. She said they were both just… waiting there, and had obviously been there for some time, as when she turned on her porch light, they didn’t move, or seem surprised by her sudden presence. She said they waited for a moment or two, and some strange feeling of breathless dread came over her. Then, like we’ve heard in every account so far, they each raised a hand, and in unison said her name in greeting, before continuing on down the dark river of asphalt.
Miss Miller told me she didn’t watch to see which way they went once leaving the alley, because she had no desire to find out, but she simply disposed of her trash and quickly returned to the safety of her home, being sure to lock the patio door before bed.
Thank you, Betty, for sharing your experience with us. If anyone has had or will have a similar one, please contact us here at the station. We may or may not have started a file, and are very interested in keeping it as accurate and updated as possible.
*TRANSITION*
Our show today is sponsored by the Braedon Public High School- specifically, the all-grades STEM club, who would like to remind you that life may be short, but thermodynamics are forever.
And I would like to remind you that love lasts even beyond forever. Contrary to the laws of thermodynamics, there is no limit to the amount of love available.
The club would also like to remind you that their science fair is coming up at the end of the month, and that if you are interested in attending, admission is free, though they ask that you pre-register- and, there will be a raffle to win the winning science project!
A special thanks to the Braedon Public High School for their help paying the bills! We can’t wait to see what projects the students come up with this year!
*TRANSITION*
An update has come in regarding the special training program Town Council has created for local law enforcement to better equip them for some of the more… unique challenges the town seems to present. It was almost unbelievably quick, how fast they came out to announce all the details of the new program. Almost like it was already ready…
Three officers from our local force have been selected to participate in the training program and become ‘complete’ officers. Constable O’Dwyer, Sergeant Carlinn, and community leader Superintendent Sanford, better known as “Mountie John” have been selected for this new program.
We here at the studio would like to wish them luck and all the strength, courage, and bloodlust they may need to complete the tasks ahead. We thank them for their service to the community, and will continue to support them as they continue to give of themselves to us.
Town Council, in their statement, say the training program will take exactly three nights and four days, and the officers should be returned by the end of the fourth day, ready to face new challenges. They also asked that citizens of Braedon abstain from crime and avoid experiencing any major emergencies or strange, preternatural phenomenon while this portion of the force is preoccupied.
I mean, I think I speak for all of us when I say no promises can be made on that front, but we will endeavour to do our best.
*TRANSITION*
We received an update from Eileen Walling, Tanner’s mother over the break, who told us she knew plenty of people probably had dozens of questions for their family, specifically Tanner, but asked that people give their family space for a while. This new situation is a lot to adjust to, and while they are incredibly grateful for the community’s continued support, they just need some time. She says Tanner is fine, they are fine, and that they have a lot to talk about.
Finally, she explained that while she appreciated people’s desire to help out, they are fine and not in need of anything-- and that if you had any desire to give, there are other families in town that could really do with the offers of dinner or an extra pair of hands. Her son is home. But she knows there are other people missing their loved ones, or who’s loved ones are ill, and they need the kindness more.
Thanks Eileen, for the call and for the reminder.
And, again- Tanner, we would love to talk to you about your experience at your earliest convenience.
*TRANSITION*
Listeners, I know they’ve been a frightfully common source for tonight’s show, and it seems like all we’re bringing to you tonight is… well, updates, but we have just received a report from Town Council urging people to seriously heed their instructions and explanations regarding the identification of and dealing with dreams. Apparently, there has already been a reported casualty. It is unclear whether it was just an injury, or whether this person has shuffled off this mortal coil…
They will also not say who, or what happened to them exactly, or how we can go about making sure we don’t end up also… like that, but please, we here at the station, at Town Council's request, urge you to follow their instructions, and urge you to seriously consider the consequences of doing otherwise- and also consider, what reason might you have for going against their direction? Why? What could be done to address this?
They ask that people send in their answers as texts to the puzzling string of signs and symbols that is the phone number of the new security system. They demand that people send in answers.
*TRANSITION*
Listeners, I’m being notified by both Martha and Jordan in two distinct ways- both through sign language and through a note- that there is a caller waiting on the phones. Last time we took a mystery call, it was… very mysterious. I wonder what this call has in store for us tonight.
JESS: Line one, you’re on air.
CLARK: It’s me- uh, Clark.
JESS: Clark? Dr. Olson, ladies and gentleman. How are you tonight?
CLARK: A little… unsettled, if I’m being honest.
JESS: What’s wrong?
CLARK: I wasn’t going to call in about this but… well, it didn’t feel right not to. I’ve already contacted everyone involved… But people deserve to know.
JESS: Well, the town is listening. Go ahead.
CLARK: It’s about- uh, what Mrs. Mulroy called in about a little while ago. You know, the sickness the miners seem to be contracting?
JESS: Yeah.
CLARK: Well, as a doctor I’ve been… prescribing treatments, running tests- doctor stuff- but I couldn’t figure out what it was. They had symptoms of so many common conditions, ranging from easily manageable to more severe, but all tests have been coming back negative. I’ve been testing for just about anything now, just hoping to catch something. Certain treatments made them feel well enough to go back to work, but then they’d only relapse… I didn’t really consider it because- well, there was just no reason to… but it just came to me, suddenly. Like a- a balloon popping. In a strange, incredibly unprecedented, though mild form- but this sort of gradual onset radiation sickness-
JESS: What?
CLARK: Radiation sickness occurs when people are-
JESS: I know what it is- but how would they get it? You’re suggesting the miners have been exposed to something radioactive? Would it not spread to other people- at the very least their families?
CLARK: Like I said before it’s some, strange form of it. I know it sounds absurd, but it also makes… sense. I’ve got quantifiable evidence for it, too. I’ve run some tests. I’m sure that’s what it is.
JESS: Are they going to be okay? The people who are sick?
CLARK: I can’t know that yet. We’re a little behind in treating it directly… but Dr. Simmons and I are going to do everything we can. But when it comes down to it, this is a problem that we have to address at the source. What kind of mine is it?
JESS: What?
CLARK: The mine, what are they mining for?
JESS: Um- I- I don’t know. It’s pretty new. I know that. We didn’t always have a mine… But it’s a mine, y’know they mine. I’ve never really thought about it.
CLARK: That’s what everyone says. [INTERFERENCE STARTS] I’ve asked around and no one knows what they’re mining. Not even the men who work there. Well, nobody knows or nobody’s saying- I don’t know which is worse-
JESS: Clark- Clark- we’re losing you-
CLARK: Jess? Jess- people need to know- the mines- there’s something about-
(HANG UP. TEXT TONE)
Folks, I’ve just received a text from Town Council politely requesting that I wrap up the show for tonight.
Man this is getting old fast. I miss the days when our only means of communicating were telepathic, picture based visions and messages sent via carrier pigeons.
But, James is pawing at the door to the recording booth. And we are all done our stories for tonight...
I would like it known that that is why we are ending the show tonight. Because our content is done, and because I am a responsible pet owner who listens to the needs of their beloved animal. Not because Town Council told us to.
Thanks for tuning in.