I Need a Date for the Wedding

WANTED: Discreet, dysfunctional pair of millennials seek open-minded audience for casual encounters and shenanigans. Gibbs is an engaged academic with a tenuous grip on her sanity. Her hobbies include wedding planning, whittling, weightlifting, and ranting. Shah is an unattached artist with a compromised moral compass. His hobbies include anything toxic you can think of. We are open to anyone over the age of 18 who won’t mind sharing us with their friends (and family, if that’s what you’re into). Flexibility is a plus (physically or ethically). Must be comfortable with: explicit language, hysteria, chest hair, arts and crafts, primates, cosplay and cross dressing. Sound like your type of party? Then don't be shy... we're only creepy sometimes.