041 - Life Transformation Stories (Part 6)

Summary 

#041 – Life Transformation Stories (Part 6). This episode features an interview with Fetima McCray, who overcame a tragic childhood that resulted in years of addiction and living out of her pain until she surrendered her life to Jesus and was completely transformed!  Meet this amazing woman who is now a wife, mother, veteran, author, entrepreneur, and minister of God. She is a pioneer for encouraging and leading those who are in search of their identity, to do so through Christ alone and you will be blessed by her story.

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Stay tuned for our next episode where we will discuss another Life Transformation Story

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Transcript

Announcer

Welcome to Transformed by the Word, a podcast about discovering how to live your life with gratifying purpose. God created you for a reason and the Bible contains the keys to unlock your transformed life. Now, here's your host, Debora Barr

Debora 0:26 

Thanks for joining me for episode 41 of Transformed by the Word. If you've been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, you've been hearing some amazing testimonies of radical life transformation from people who decided to place their trust in the Lord Jesus. And because of that encounter with him, their life trajectory has completely been transformed for the better. I plan to continue featuring interviews with people from all walks of life, so that you can hear from them yourself and make your own decision about following Jesus Christ. 

In our last episode, we heard from Ronald McCray, we heard about his testimony about how Jesus transformed his life for the better. And today, you will meet his wife, Fatima. Fatima is a wife, mother, veteran, author, entrepreneur, and a minister of God. She is a pioneer for encouraging and leading those who are in search of their identity to do so, through Jesus Christ alone. Her passion for inspiring and investing in those around her has led her to have a powerful and global impact, sharing her story both domestically and internationally. She's been featured on such media outlets as the Christian Broadcast Network, the 700 Club, night line, and various other radio shows, conferences, documentaries and internet publications. Whether sharing her story of overcoming addiction and depression, or galvanizing hearts, to challenge the normal routine, and pursue God for the impossible, her ministry is life giving, inspiring and educational. 

As a passionate minister, teacher and speaker, Fatima continues to find joy and fulfillment in sharing her journey to uplift, inspire, and encourage all to reclaim and fully adorn their own god given purpose. Fatima’s story of transformation is best mirrored in her life scripture, which is Isaiah, chapter 61 verse three. Here's what it says, in the NIV version. Provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy, instead of mourning, and a garment of praise. Instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 

Stay tuned, we'll be back in just a moment. 

<<<MUSIC INTERLUDE>>

Debora 4:24  

Good morning Fatima - what an honor to have you with me on the show today.

Fatima

Good morning Reverend Debora thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm glad to be here.

Debora 4:30  

Yeah, I'm grateful. I was reading your bio and I didn't even know you weren't a veteran. Which service were you in?

Fatima 4:37  

Yes, ma'am. So I was in the United States Marine Corps.

Debora 4:40  

Oh, you were in the Marines. I was in the Army. That's so cool. Maybe we'll talk about that a little bit. Yeah, so the last episode I had such a great time interviewing your husband Ron and hearing about how God worked in his life and, and he talked a little bit about how he met you. So now I wanted the listeners to actually meet you and hear from you themselves about how God transformed your life. So would you share with our listeners just a little bit about your childhood and how you came to know God as a child, if you did at that age?

Fatima 5:18  

Yeah. So I actually didn't really know God there. Well, as a child. There are a lot of mixtures of religions and my family circles. So my father was Muslim before he passed away when I was one year old. My mother raised us as Jehovah's Witness until she passed away when I was seven years old. And I went to move with a family member. Shortly after that, on my father's side, whom I didn't know well, but really had to learn the habits of I will say, we were starkly different. But she, she, I believe she was on her Christian journey, but we never went to like church, we watched Bible movie sometimes. Or she may say, well, read something like, but it wasn't necessarily let's sit down and go over the word or let's go to church. So our relationship wasn't really grounded in the word. 

In childhood there was also some witchcraft in my family as well. So you have Muslim Jehovah's Witness, you have some level of kind of Christian influence or Christian knowledge, and then some Wiccan that we also had to contend with. And so I didn't even really have an understanding of who the true God was. I didn't even have an understanding of who to pray to or what to pray about. 

And so my childhood, as I kind of already hinted towards was marked with a lot of tragedy and, and brokenness. So losing my father at one losing my mother at 7. I also deal with molestation from a family member from the ages of four to seven. I dealt with depression, I dealt with deep identity issues. By the time I was 23, even the grandmother whom I had grown up with, and who had raised me though, we had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship, she had passed away all the uncles on my father's side had passed away, my grandmother on my mother's side had also passed away. And I had a very difficult relationship with an aunt om my father's side. And for the most part, I didn't know any other members of my family. 

So you have brokenness, you have isolation, and a young girl who's just trying to figure out who she is, and a big world that she can't understand. And I dealt heavily with depression. I dealt heavily with suicidal thoughts. And it's so interesting, because I would always write like little snippets of my life, like little memoirs, little poems, and I have them still, of me being 12 and 13,14 15, even 16, just discussing how I wanted to die because I had no clue who I was, I had no clue what it meant to, to feel really loved and appreciated and valued and a part of something that loved me back the way that I loved it. I would say my childhood was very difficult emotionally, and mentally because there were so many factors that kind of robbed me of the innocence and joy of childhood and caused me to grow up early and have to face some very tough feelings early, and some very tough, heartbreaks early, became a runaway at the age of 14, because of the tumultuous relationship that I had with my grandmother and my aunt at the time. And I never went back home. I started, stayed with a friend. I started smoking marijuana, I started drinking, I started popping ecstasy, I guess it's called mollie now, but either way, I would do that because I was trying to numb the pain. I drank heavily. And I was a child. It's weird. Now I'm 31 to look back at people who are 15 and 16. They are literal babies. 

Debora

They are they are there.

Fatima 9:12  

And then that age for me, I was already going down a spiral of addiction that most adults and that most young adults don't touch. So it was it was difficult. In addition to that, there's just so many layers. In addition to that there was the sexual aspect I'm being raped have been introduced to sexual arousal on being introduced to sexual thoughts and desires at a young age. The person that I was molested by was a male but the enemy saw a way to get in and supplant some other seeds. So around the age of 10, I started to have dreams about women - sexual dreams, lucid dreams. And in the dreams, it wasn't even like with other children, I had dreams about full grown women that were hypersexual that were almost well that were pornographic. And I had never seen porn. But it was in my mind and plants it as a as a youth as a youth that was already searching for herself that was already trying to define who she was and trying to figure out her place in the world. Now that seed is planted. 

And it was like a new taste had been squared in my mouth. And so that became something I chased after I would find Playboy magazines, I would watch explicit television when nobody was up, up late at night watching, you know, shows that I shouldn't, because I wanted to experience in the waking world, what I did in that dream. And so I started looking at young girls my age, I didn't tell anybody about it until about 14, but I was looking at young girls my age, and I was looking at their body parts instead of who they were as people, because it was already ingrained in me to desire and to see things with a different lens. 

So around the age of 14, when I became a runaway, and I was trying to define myself for myself by myself, I started to date women, I started to date, the same sex. And I was on this journey of trying to pick up the pieces, all the broken pieces that I had on the inside of me and all the broken pieces that had shattered around me and build an identity with it, you know, build a personhood, a personality, a character, with all those broken pieces, and whatever aspects that I could pull down, that I thought may fit within my life. 

And those were hard like four years, like high school was a hard four years for me because there was so much transforming and also just degrading of my mind and my body. Within those four years of high school. Like, I was actually just talking to a family member about it yesterday. And I was just saying thank God I didn't get caught in that loop of drug addiction and, and sex and all these different all these different things. The pornography addiction kind of carried on in my older years. But um, I know I'm I know, I'm rambling now, but it childhood really set me up for failure in many ways, because of how many, how many obstacles I faced, losing, losing family members running away, not feeling understood depression, suicidal thoughts, alcohol, there was so much I just know that without the help of, of the Lord that I didn't even know the name of, at the time that I didn't even know existed at the time, the one that just spoke to me here and there and said, I have a work for you to do. If it wasn't for him already seeking me out before I knew the name to call him. I wouldn't have made it out. I look back at that time. And so many didn't make it out of situations similar to mine. And so I'm just I'm just grateful to God.

Debora 12:52  

Yeah, given the spiritual confusion that you had growing up with all the different influences, when and how did you actually come to know this God that you just described that was reaching out to you?

Fatima 13:06  

So it wasn't until about the age of 23. That's a long, that's a long jump from 14 and 18. But it wasn't till about the age of 23. So the interesting thing is, even in those moments of depression, and being under the influence, there was this voice that was speak to me. And I thought I was crazy. And so I didn't tell anybody about it was always here and there. It wasn't like every month it wasn't every week. But it was frequent. And it was consistent when the Lord would just speak to me. And the main thing that he would say was I have a work for you to do, I would hear this voice in my mind. And nobody else heard it. It was no one else speaking to me. And it wasn't of my own volition. 

Because I was in the moments where I felt the most defeated. And in the moments where I felt the most worthless and hopeless. So that voice would come in and say I have a work for you to do. It was this invisible influence that would nudge me up when I wanted to stay in bed day after day after day due to depression. It was this invisible nudge that would say Don't try that. Like I know you're you're trying these drugs and these drugs, don't try that don't go down that path. It was this little invisible barrier, this little invisible influence. And this small still voice that I would hear consistently. 

And while I was in the military, even though I was trying to run away from all of the brokenness and all the things that I was experiencing in my hometown, that brokenness followed me and it's still blossomed and fruited into alcoholism into pornography addiction and sex addiction, deeper depression, more real suicidal ideation, and I would still hear that voice. That said, I have a work for you to do. 

And so I started to kind of tried to go to church with some of my friends, but sometimes when you're really hurt in the depths of your heart, no matter what mask you try to put on a face you try to put on when you're met with the presence of God and all that is stripped away and just the vulnerability of your heart is open. It is overwhelming. So I would go into churches and the presence of God would be there and all I could do was literally cry. Sometimes for hours. It would take me out for days. There was just so much welling from the inside of me so much brokenness, so much heartbreak and emotional mental torment, that when I went into the churches, all I could do was cry. And I was so afraid to go up to the altar so they were called every time anyone, does anyone want to come get their life to the Lord? Does anyone want prayer? And there was such a hinderance because I hated what I felt. And I wasn't able to handle it by myself. 

It wasn't until I got to a breaking point around the age of 23. I had just gotten out the Marine Corps. That identity crisis came up again. Well, who am I now am I who I was before I left for the military? Am I who I was in the military and am I some hybrid person afterwards? What do I do now I'm an adult? And I don't have as many family ties, I'm not going back to a family that's waiting for me. I'm building a life from scratch, essentially. And it was hard. It was hard. So I fell heavily into those vices of alcohol and sex, to the point where I didn't like who I was anymore. I looked in the mirror and said, Well, what was it all for? What am I doing? I was literally at my rock bottom. 

And I was talking to my cousin, my cousin, who had sometimes came to visit when I was only from the military. And he invited me to church. And initially, I was like, No, I don't want to go, you know, I just me and God are cool. We're all right. You know, I have my own relationship with Him, everything is fine. But he said something to me that spoken to the depths of my soul to the places that he didn't even know existed because I didn't share all of my journey with people. I just carried it with me. And of course, the enemy loves that because he wants you to be as bogged down and burdened as you can be feeling like you're all in swimming in depression, and, and guilt and shame and all these different things. He wants you to drown. And he wants you to carry it by yourself. But and that's a trick, of course. But he said something to me. He said, “Fatima don't you want more?”

Fatima 17:28  

And it seems like such a simple phrase. But it hit me right in my soul, because that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted more from life. I wanted a life. That didn't just happen to me. I wanted a life that didn't make me immensely sad and feel isolated. I wanted a life that I can have joy and peace like real, real joy in my heart, in the midst of all the sorrow that I had experienced. I wanted to live a life that wasn't bound by the sexual assaults, the rapes, the molestation, the alcohol, addictions, the depression of familial issues, I wanted a life that wasn't bound by any of that brokenness. 

But I did not know if it was attainable. I was searching for more, but I didn't know if it exists. But when he said that it hits something directly in my soul, and I know, it was a long God's journey, his plan of bringing me to him, um, that it hit me directly in my soul limit. It made me say here. I do. Literally, that's what I've been searching for. And so I went to my cousin's church. And I literally walked in the church reeking a vodka because the flesh was in torment. I didn't know what to do. So the night before I just went all out drinking was a couple friends. I mean, it was horrible. I walked in the church, reeking of vodka, like it was it was in excess, absolutely in excess, because I didn't know what my life was going to look like the next day when I went to church after I went to church, if it was going to bring up issues that was to me into a month long spiral or bender, I didn't know. 

But God met me there. God met me there and he began to speak to me more and more fluently and more clearly. And it got to the point that the Lord would start speaking things to me that that would then read in the Bible. He was establishing his identity, but then my soul who he was, so he would speak things to me, like I bottle up every tear, I'm crying, and I'm praying, he would say, I bottle up every tear, then I would read that scripture. This is the God of the Bible speaking to me, he would say things to me, like seek me in the water. And we're reading about baptism. Oh, it was a giant. Thank you, Jesus. I just a journey of God literally walking me until he got me face to face and say, This is who I am. And then let me show you who I need you to be.

Debora 19:49  

Yeah, yeah, that is so wonderful. He did the same with me speaking before I even knew what the Bible said he would speak things from the Bible. And then when I would see it, I'm like, Oh, that was God speaking to me – it would be like, Oh, it's amazing. So, so you surrendered your heart to the Lord. And what? What happened after that, I mean, what started changing first in your life.

Fatima 20:15  

First was my perception of myself and my future. The Bible talks about, you know, when you're baptized, you arise in the newness of life, when you're baptized in Jesus name, you literally go down one way, and you come up another way. And I took that, literally, and I took that as a change of heart. Because all of who I was previously I carried along with me, but to find out that there was a way that was already written 1000s of years ago, a mechanism whereby I could be, do.

Fatima 20:50  

And that was step number one, to be free from my past life to be to have that tie broken, I knew now I'm a new creature. Now I rise in the newness of life, and all of that other stuff is gone away. That's not who I am. Now, this is day one. Then receiving the power of the Holy Spirit within my soul, like knowing now I have power over all of the aspects of my old life that used to make me powerless understanding that my flesh and the things that it experienced, or the things that it wants, does not define who I am as a person, that my soul can have a home that has no earthly bounds that I can live a life of peace and of joy. 

It was combing through the scriptures. And it gave me the answers to life that there was joy unspeakable that there was, there was peace that could have found in my heart by the Prince of Peace, somebody loved me so much that they died for me long before I was ever even born so that I can have this freedom, so that I can have this peace, and that it is free to me. I don't have to jump through 80,000 hoops. I don't have to prove my love for him to show me his abundant love and grace. I simply have to be open and be willing to surrender to Him and believe what he said, and be baptized, be new. Let me go through the process. 

Let me transition my thought that the process of even renewing my mind, the mind is a powerful thing. And the Bible even talks about the tongue, the tongue is what the tongue that the whole that you, the bit in the horse’s mouth controls the whole body, what you say and what you think really control the narrative of your life. And for me, all I thought about my life was death. All I thought about my life was sadness. All I thought about my life was hopelessness. And that's what I would speak I will never I will never, I will never, when I began to speak to scriptures, when I began to literally pray to the Lord, pray, scriptures of peace, pray, scriptures of hope. Pray scriptures of fearlessness, pray, scriptures of purpose, pray, scriptures of prosperity and strength, and just abundance and just remarkable impossibilities that Jesus makes possible. Life began to change for me from the inside out. 

It wasn't that every circumstance was different around me. But there was just some deep, deep change happening within me that the Lord brought out of me and my communication change. When I looked at my future, and I looked at myself, you are worthy. Because God calls you worthy, you have worth got something of worth in you. And he's, he's watering it. He's feeding it. It's the light of the Lord that's causing that seed to grow and to blossom into something beautiful. You haven't even seen the fullness of who God created you to be. And I started to seek after that thing, like, who was that woman that you had in your mind's eye, when you created me, I want to be her. 

Take away all that I've ever done, take away even the things that I may have an inclination towards, move all that out of the way, who is the woman that you have in your heart when you created me? She's strong, she braved good does she do I want to pursue after that. So at the end of all this, I don't just hear you welcome to heaven. I hear well done, my good and faithful servant, you've done exactly what I purpose for you to do. And it became a journey of seeking after God's will for me. 

And it's been a beautiful journey, where he's blessed me to be able to have a marriage that I'm able to operate in effectively. Because, you know, oftentimes, if you're blessed with something, you're not ready for it, you could squander it. You could ruin it, if you don't have the wisdom to maintain or manage it. But the thing about the Lord, when he blesses you, and you stay with him within the blessing, He'll teach you how to manage the blessing. Yes, he'll teach you how to operate in and there to be fruit from the blessing. Because God's purpose is not just to give us everything that we want to give us things that make us happy. 

Everything brings glory to the Lord as long as we stay tapped into him. He's the bond. We're the branches. We can't do anything outside of him. But he's blessed me to be able to have a marriage to a husband that I love dearly, who understands me on a level that no other person ever had. Is that he has got God ordained that love. And from that love, he's brought fruit in our son. And I know there are many more to come because he's brought fruit physically from our son, but also in the ministry that he's placed in us. There has been fruit with other, it just makes me sound old, but the Lord has spoken it to me. But other sons and daughters, even in the faith that he's allowed us to mentor to pour into, he poured into us so we can pour out to others, and turn something beautiful from our stories of tragedy, and cause those tragedies, tragedy testimonies to be stories of triumph in the Lord so that other people can know that they can try and through their tragedy as well. It's, It's a Wonderful Life. Jesus.

Debora 25:45  

So now you see why he was wooing you in the things he was saying to you long before you even knew that it was him speaking to you. You're seeing it now. It's coming to fruition. So tell us from your perspective, how did you meet Ron? And how was that experience for you? Knowing your background and everything that you had been through? Did you even imagine that that was possible?

Fatima 26:06  

Now, I never thought marriage is possible. For me, I thought the only way marriage will be possible for me was if I became the image of who the other person wanted me to be. And I was never myself. I was always I was very codependent. If you like people with red hair, I want you to like me. So I'm going to dye my hair red. If you want me to be quiet, if you want me to be aggressive, however you want me to be I’ll mould myself in the image that you have for me, just so that I can say that I'm with somebody or someone deems me as worthy of having very codependent. And it came from not knowing who I was as a person and dealing with a lot of brokenness and not feeling comfortable enough to be my full self and not feeling strong enough to be alone until I found someone that I could be my full self with. 

That's a whole lot to unpack. But when I met when I met Ron, we actually went to high school together, which is so funny. We went, we went to high school together, we had all the same friend group. So we never had a conversation with one another. Ever. It's so crazy. We laugh about it. Now we share stories of different interactions with different people. And we're just like, I'm like you knew that person. He's like, Yeah, we were close friends. It was like the Lord had us in orbit around one another. But we never came together until we met after on the other side of salvation. 

And it's interesting because I said the Lord was speaking to me all of my life. The Lord told me about Ron, he told me about Ron I pastime, one day, and um, and in our school, he was going down a ramp that we had, and I was going up the ramp, the Lord spoke to me and said, that's going to be your husband. And I thought I was hearing things because number one, like I said, I didn't have a reverence for God yet. But number two, at that point, I was full lesbian, I hadn't reached I hadn't gone into. I hadn't transitioned into bisexuality yet. But I was only interested in women, and he was only interested in men. And it didn't, and I didn't even know him. I didn't know him. 

But the Lord spoke to me, and I forgot about it. It wasn't until about 10 years later, at the same church that my cousin invited me to lunch, I just moved back home from the Marine Corps. I don't have I moved to a whole new like city that was down the street from where I grew up at this church wasn't near where I grew up yet. It was I had no ties to what I saw on my cousin invited me. And I'm walking in the church and who do I see sitting in the pews in the front, who was a minister and training is Ronald McCray. And I'm very good with faces. And so I recognized him. 

And there was one particular moment we both were in Sunday school because I was following my journey with the Lord. I said, Lord, you seek me in the water, I sought you in the water. You know, you've been speaking to me, I'm here. And now. You said you have a work for me to do. I'm here to do it. Like I was full throttle. I'm ready to move forward. This is like, I mean, the most transformational moments of my life, like literally surrendering to the will of God that he has been speaking to me since childhood, transformational pinnacle moment of my life. But I was it was my trend. It was my transformations of saying yes to God. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. To this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. surrender, surrender. 

And so um, yeah, we were in Sunday school and the Sunday School teacher was saying, you know, if God speaks to you, he doesn't speak to everybody audibly. You should heed what he has to say. And so I said, You know what, Lord, you've always been talking about this work that you have for me to do. And a moment of just kind of courage. I said, I'm ready. I'm ready to do the work. I'm ready. And so after the Sunday school lesson had finished, Ron came to me, and he said, um, this is my first time only meeting him. He was like, um, you know, you don't know me but God told me he had to word. He told me that he had He has a word for you. And I just want to give you that word. And I was like, Okay, I do know you, we went to high school together, and we had a little moment. But um, what he said completely shook me because I was just in my process with the Lord, like I was new with this. And so he said, God told me to tell you that he has a work for you today.

Debora 30:22  

Confirmation.

Fatima 30:23  

That's it. And if you pray and you seek Him, He'll show you what it is. And I was, I was stuck. I mean, I was completely shocked, because that was my first experience with a God that had been speaking to me speaking to someone else when he said, and it just reaffirmed in me, this is the same God is speaking to everybody. It's the good. This is literal, literally God speaking to me, it's not my mind. It's not a trick. You know, I had my experience with the Lord speaking biblical scripture to me before I even read it, but now to know, I mean, the, you can't do this. You can't fake it. Like you can't make this stuff up. Like, oh, but it was. It was it was crazy. 

And shortly after that, the Lord inspired us to, you know, have a friendship, have a friendship. And then I again, I didn't remember what the Lord had told me. It didn't pop in my mind. And so we were in the throes of dating, and I could see literally the hand of God sweeping through my life and nudging me pulling me to this point. And I didn't tell Ron, I let him figure it out himself. Cuz I was scared. I was like, wait a minute, everything the Lord keeps saying is coming to pass. Lastly, some type of confirmation. I think this is it. But um, yeah, we, we pour out our hearts to one another. And I told him things about me that I told I told him so much about me about the real roots of who I was, as a person, like all that I had experienced, I was fully open, because I said, you know, I'm in this journey with God, and I'm learning to be transparent and real. And I'm connecting to myself on a deeper level, and I don't want any hindrance with it. I am in the process of God healing a lot. God restoring a lot. God's showing me a lot. God ministering to some things that I've been carrying for a while. Here's my process. Here, here's where I am in my journey. And I'm going to be transparent about who I am. I'm a person that has experienced this, this, this, this this, but I'm growing through it and going through love Jesus right now. So if you want to come along on that journey, amen.

Debora 32:39  

Wow, that's amazing. How does it feel to be a mother? And what do you what are some of the things that you hope your son is going to learn about God as he grows up?

Fatima 32:53  

Oh, man, okay. Now, being a mother, being a mother has been the next transformation, the single most transformative thing that I've experienced, because, um, you know, I lost, I lost my mom at a young age. And there was so many years that I was searching for a mom, only to realize that you kind of get one. But the next best thing for me, I was like, I really want to be a mom. But again, God blesses you when you're ready. 

I, I've learned so much about relationship with God and my relationship with my son, like us as children, and God being the parent, I've learned so much. But I think the most fulfilling part, for me as an individual, just speaking, from my perspective, the most fulfilling part of being a mother is knowing that my son won't ever have to grow up feeling as hopeless as I did, because he will know where his hope lies, like, we are instilling in him. The authenticity, the realness, the beauty of God, like who God is, like spring up relationship in the younger years. So, whenever he faces things in life, he knows that that's not the end of his life. Like there's so much that me that I've experienced, and my husband has experienced. And I think the greatest piece for me and joy and fulfillment is knowing that my son will know who his hero is off the bat. Like he'll know who to give his heart to, he'll know who to seek counsel from he'll know the beauty of this God that has transformed the lives of his parents so tremendously and drastically and thoroughly and he'll be able to seek after he'll know the name of the God that seeks after him. 

It's a journey. It's a journey to make sure that I'm mothering him in the way that the Lord would have me to and not out of my brokenness of the things that I've seen where he is gonna have a life that neither my husband has had or I have had but a life that is so much better and richer with the Lord. And that's the most fulfilling part of motherhood for me, because I know that's going to set them up not only for success, but for salvation for purpose. Well, there's so much that God has placed in that little boy and I'm just, I don't know, it's hard. We talk about motherhood, it just it fills my heart up so much, because there's so much promise, promise and him he's a miracle baby. 

He's a rainbow baby, we lost before we had him. I lost the baby at 39 weeks and three days on my birthday. And it was devastating. Because me and Ron really wanted to be parents, and you don't ever think something like that is going to happen, especially so late in the pregnancy, you know, we had the room prepared. You know, this is the child that the Lord told me about the Lord told me I was gonna have a son, and all these different things way before me, and Ron even started dating. So I said, this is that son in our lives was so built up and excited. And then we lost that. 

I will surely other than the Lord really propelled us into ministry, like traveling ministry, and just being able to share our testimony everywhere. And we shortly after that, we got pregnant again. And that was a walk. Well, once he got here, once he got here, I knew that this this was a little boy that the led me about like this was the one he had prophesied to me about, has this great purpose and ministry, and that kind of so much for him. There's just something about being a mother, walking in purpose and seeing the purpose of your child that the Lord has placed. I can't even really describe it, because it's not just becoming pregnant and having a kid and now have to raise them. You know, sometimes it feels like that. But there's so much more of a spiritual, a spiritual mystery happening before my eyes, seeing how God has created him begin to envelop through him. And he's to I'm not talking about him like he's fixing.

Fatima 37:20  

But I could, I could, I could literally see and God will speak to me the things that he has planned for my son and to be the one that gets to pray those things over him, affirm those things. See him. My child knows how to pray. He's to he loves to pray, he likes to worship. I mean, like, with every day, we instill it in him, and it's just like he don't. He gets to have a life that if we knew the words, if we knew the words to ask God for when we were kids, we would have prayed for Yeah, he gets to have that. And the Lord has allowed us to be able to give that to him.

Debora 37:59  

Absolutely wonderful. What would you say to someone whose life is in turmoil right now, they think that they would like to be married, have children in the future, but they just don't even see that as a possibility. What could you say to them to encourage them right now?

Fatima 38:17  

I will say, you never know what God has for you until you seek Him for who you are. I would say it may feel like you are drowning. It may feel like all of the baggage and the weight that you're carrying on rocks chained to a body that is sinking in the ocean. But Jesus can literally free you from every chain and those bondages those things will go down into the depths of the ocean where you will never see them again or be affected by them again, it is possible to live a fully transformed, renewed and I know that these are just words, but prayerfully through my testimony, and the ways that the Lord was verifying who he was the way that he was establishing his power within my life. prayerfully you can hear just enough hope to understand that it's so much more than words. It is so much more than church. But it's so much more than just you know, clapping our hands or whatever the case may be. It's so much deeper in the heart and in the soul that God can literally permeate through the pages of your past life and rewrite things to build you up in the spirit rewrite things to change your future. 

He can literally take a taste of something that is toxic for your soul and for your heart and for your mind. Take the taste of it out of your mouth. He can literally give you strength over depression give you victory over anxiety, he can literally cause forgiveness in your hearts. What are some of the most unforgivable things so that you can walk free of the bondage of that offense? There's so much that God can do for you if you just let him If you just let him if you just try him, for me, it was difficult even to transfer enough trust to the Lord to say I'm going to go to church and really be open, I'm going to get on my knees and actually try to pray. 

There's so much barrier because of the sin. If you just if you give a little faith to God, so faith like a mustard seed, that's what can move a mountain, a little faith to God, He will show you the expanse of the world that he has in store for you. He is the Creator of everything that you see, and so much that you don't see there's so much that God has in store for you. I can't tell you all of it, because I don't know the blessings and miracles the purpose, the God has spoken over you. But I can say it is worth a try over and over again, you'll get a return on interest over and over again. 

God will blow your mind it's possible to have everything that you've ever dreamed of. And a lot of times God places desire for things and us that he's gonna bless us with within his will. He's gonna open doors within His will I desired marriage, but in the broken state that I was in, I would have ruined a marriage, I wouldn't have been able to pursue who I am and purpose in the Lord and marriage because I would have been so wrapped up in that other person. Yeah, God puts desire in you. You know, this scripture that says he'll give you the desires of your heart as seeking, seeking Him, He'll give you those desires, through walking in relationship with Him. 

You realize, I always wanted to be before I met the Lord like a motivational speaker, quote, unquote, not knowing that God had already purpose for me to become a minister, and to share my testimony of where I've been and what I've learned in him. Throughout the world, digital media, all these different places I did not know it was a desire that was in me, but God had planted that seed that he was going to bring to full fruition through his power. You don't know what seeds God has planted in you. And the thing about a seed all the power all there's so much inside that little surface area, a huge oak tree that can that can last for 120 years can be in the tiniest, a teeny little seed that can house so much fruit that can house so many like shade that I can't even describe it all but seek the Lord for what he's placed in you give him a try. 

You will not be disappointed rally around believers that can lift you up. When you have questions. Don't. Don't feel like you have to continually go through things alone, find community that can support you that can lift up your hands when you're weary. push past the fear, even if it's a mustard seed of faith, because God will reward you. This power, this power in the name of Jesus, it's not just something we say. It's something we know from experience. And yeah, and Jesus was coming back and you want to be caught up with him. And I Oh, me too.

Debora 43:05  

Yes, yes. Don't leave me behind. How can our listeners connect with you Fatima?

Fatima  43:14  

Sure. So I'm on social media. I'm on Facebook. I'm on Instagram at Fatima McCray on Facebook. Fatima.McCray, on Instagram. Um, you can also go to my website, FatimaSmccray.com. And that's where you'll find other information about me and articles and places that the Lord has blessed me to be able to speak. You can email me from there as well. But I'm all over social media. I'm very open to messages. Reach out to me. I'm very personable. I will always say hi. And if you want to talk about something, I'm here and I'll whatever the Lord has told me to say and to do this, what I'll do. I'm open, the DMS are open.

Debora 43:55  

That's excellent. And I will put your social media handles and your website on my website as well so people can connect with you there. Before we let you go, I would love for you to pray for our listeners today. You've said so much today. And I know it's been such an encouragement to many. And I just pray that you would seal this with a prayer. 

Fatima 44:16  

Sure, sure. Thank you Lord.

Lord God, thank you for today. Thank you for today, Lord, thank you for opening our eyes and opening our ears. To be in a position to hear you walk on we thank you for an opportunity to speak to you. We don't take it for granted Lord God. Oh my God, I pray that through this broadcast because someone is inspired to trust you. Thank you, Jesus, someone is encouraged to try your name. Someone is encouraged to say yes to that invitation to church to say yes to that invitation to a Bible study even if they're fearful that they are they have the faith of a mustard seed even beginning just to walk into a new wound to understand what saith the Lord for them, I pray, Lord, that through this broadcast, someone is encouraged to open their heart to you, Lord God to surrender to You, Lord God, to let you see their pain so you can tell them how you can heal it, Lord. 

Sometimes we carry stuff around for so long, and we have our hearts so shut up, we don't realize that our heart is hard. We don't realize the depths of the baggage that we're carrying. We don't realize that we're weighted down, we don't realize that there can be freedom for us, because we've known these weights for so long. When I pray, Lord, that You would let the heavy burdens and the name of Jesus or God, thank You, Lord God, that people, everyone under the sound of this broadcast, Lord God, they would learn the beauty of exchanging your yoke for theirs Lord God. So they're the weight the world about the neck, the weight that keeps their head down, and eyes toward the ground, Lord, God would be exchanged for yours and the hope of heaven would be in their heart, the hope of peace, even on this earth would be stirred in their soul, 

I pray that someone hears this broadcast and knows that they can live and live again, more God, I pray that someone learns the power of your name today, that even if they're dealing with demonic forces, Lord God, that they know the power of your name that they know how to speak, Lord God, they don't have to speak the Psalms, they know how to speak your word. They know how to speak your name of the atmosphere and pierce through the atmosphere of depression, pierced through the atmosphere of anxiety that she was softened, even the heart of someone who feels that there's no one around to help them to open up and to receive the help that's available to him. I pray, Lord God, that those that feel that they are drowning, begin to see your hand and you're sitting through the wall, pull them up before they fall to peace, who then have hallelujah, hallelujah during these last days where you're giving more and more time. But those that will come to you to come to you, Lord God, that they hear this prayer that they hear this broadcast, and that they run from their former life, and they run into your arms Jesus, that they would take off the bondages that they would be at their chest open, that they would offer their hearts and their souls and their lives to you, Lord God, because time is winding up. 

And it is your desire, they all come to repentance, Lord God, they all come to repentance and that they're able to live with you and all eternity Lord God, I pray that someone that's on the fence, that they'll get off the fence and run to you in the name of Jesus or God. I pray that someone who has a hard heart towards God, that their heart is softened in the name of Jesus, even under this broadcast often and not to let you permeate deep into the depths of their heart, and to plan to see that I pray Lord God, someone that feels like there's no change available for them, Lord God that you would blow their mind even if you show them a dream and they're asleep, that You would speak to them what God in their lives that she would disrupt, disrupt their life, disrupt the monotony, disrupt Lord God, the constant stream of what the world has permeating through our eyes, and through our ears, disrupt that, and show show that individual Lord God that you are more real than the things that they see in front of them and so much more powerful than the weights that are on them so much more powerful than the sin that so easily besets them so much more powerful than the depression that that the sweeps over them that you have purpose for them more God, peace for them, home for them, for those that feel that they have no home and no place, no place, to be themselves to be vulnerable to be free that you have that safe space. You are that safe space for God.

Fatima 48:59  

Yeah, I thank you and Jesus I thank You Lord God, I thank You Lord God, I thank You. Thank You, Lord God. We thank you for all that you are to us word God, your words. You're awesome. We praise your name. When I pray that this, this broadcast blesses, not just somebody, Lord God, hundreds in the name of Jesus, I pray that you bless their Braemar, God, Reverend Debora that you bless her and her fulfilling of purpose in your name and her life that has been dedicated to bringing souls to Christ. Oh God, I pray that you continuously bless her Lord God, I pray that some miracle was inspired in this year for her something that she has been praying for something that she's been earnestly been seeking for that some miracles inspired for her. This year, Lord should blow her mind. I pray blessings over every Hearer of this message blessings of faith blessings of salvation blessings of peace and Power. In the name of Jesus love, we love you. We honor you. We honor you. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Debora 50:10  

Amen. Don't go away. We'll be right back after this short break.

<<<MUSIC INTERLUDE>>

Debora 50:54  

We just heard from Fatima McCray about how God completely transformed her life. To learn more about her, visit her website at FatimaSMccrea.com. You can also follow her on Instagram at Fatima dot McCray. And on her website, she has her email and other ways for her to connect with you. 

Jesus really does transform people's lives, not just in biblical times, but today and it all starts with a decision that you make in response to His free gift of salvation. God doesn't force himself on us. He sent his son Jesus Christ to earth to live as a perfect, sinless human being, and to die on a cross in our place for the sins that we have committed. Death is the punishment for sin. And Jesus paid the full price. When he died on the cross. Jesus rose from the dead to give us eternal life. And if you sense that God is nudging you and pulling you, and desiring you to surrender your heart to Him, and you're ready to receive this free gift of salvation. You can repeat after me a prayer of surrender. 

God, I confess that I'm a sinner and I need Jesus in my life. I repent of my sins and I turn to you. I truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. He was buried and he rose from the dead. And I accept this by faith and invite Jesus to be Lord of my life from this day forward. God take control of my life and teach me how to live for You. Thank You, Lord for forgiving me and saving me, Amen. 

Now, if you surrendered your heart to Jesus sometime in the past, but you've drifted away from him, you can also recommit your life to him right now. All He asks is that you confess your sins. Ask Jesus for forgiveness and determine in your heart to get back on the road to living your life for him. 

It's important to get connected to other Christians to help you stay on track and to help you grow in your faith. Get connected to a Bible teaching church and read the Bible for yourself. And stay in communication with God through prayer. 

Now, if you just made a decision for Christ, you either surrendered for the first time or you rededicated your life to him I would love to hear from you and support you in your next steps. You can visit my website at TBTWpodcast.com. Click the link to let me know about your decision so that I can reach back to you and help you with those next steps. 

My prayer for you today is that you would trust the Lord Jesus to guide and direct your life that you would remain committed to Him and live your life for him. Eternity is a very long time and the decisions that you make about him today. While you have the ability to make a decision could determine where you spend eternity. The most important decision you can make in this life is what you decide about Jesus. 

Stay tuned for our next episode of transformed by the word where we will hear another life transformation story

Announcer 55:01

Thank you for listening to transformed by the word with your host Debora Barr, be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play and connect with us at TBTWPodcast.com. Until next time, be blessed.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai