Viet Nam, part 2

The continuation of our travels in Viet Nam.

Transcript

Episode 8: Viet Nam, part 2

Hey everybody! Welcome back to “Goin’ down the road with Randy”. This is the 8th episode and tonight we’re going to pick back up in Viet Nam with part 2 and we’re in Da Nang and after we explore around the area we will continue north to Hanoi.

It is Monday February 24

We get up by 7 AM. We have rented a songthaew for the day to take us to Hoi An, a UNESCO world heritage village, the Marble Mountains and China Beach. Miraculously it's about on time when it picks us up but then we stop for gas and fall about an hour behind somehow. They put 6 liters of gas at 2,600 per in the car and charge us for 8 at 5,000 per. Of course, a huge row ensues when we demand to get the proper price. I mean, we can see the price and how much it is for fucks sake! But, we, as foreigners have to be cheated per some government policy. Honestly, I get it and we are ok with paying a tourist premium but they just take it over the top. We must drive a hard bargain because our driver takes us back to the city center and pawns us off on his friend and finally we go. An hour drive to Hoi An and we pile out and have coffee again. We split up and stroll through this picturesque historic little port town which is noted for its Japanese covered bridge and antique houses. It is an ancient port city which once rivaled Malacca in importance. The bridge is old and beautiful and marks the death of the mythical dragon which once stretched from India to Japan and caused earthquakes floods and typhoons. The houses were interesting but a bit pricey at 3,000 per. We leave Hoi An and drive back towards Da Nang, stopping at Marble Mountain where hordes of children offer to guide us and sell us some marble carvings. Unfortunately I see no chess sets.

 We pay 4,000 just scramble amongst the pagodas, caves and “battle-scarred gates” of the one mountain out of five. Great views over the surrounding countryside, excellent graffiti and history - VC field hospital overlooks US R&R area - wild.

We blow a bone at the top then go wriggle our toes in the sand at China Beach before going back to Da Nang. We pass the abandoned huge old US base on the way. We have the driver drop us at the market and we change money as we hurry to get our painting but we're too late, they're closed. Bummer. will try to get it tomorrow before going to Hue. We go back to the room and shower before going to dinner at Tu Du. Again. It's the thing Tu Du. 

It's while there and talking to Brett and somebody else about My Son and AJ and Dave who won't go to Hue tomorrow that we realize we can stay here another day and get our painting see the My Son ruins and still get away with enough time to see Hue and the DMZ before zooming north to Hanoi and Laos. So that’s the new plan. We'll go to My Son tomorrow. We have another excellent meal then go back for an early, relaxing evening. We are accosted by the roaming massage woman before going to bed. Got to get up early and get our painting.

Tuesday February 25th

We do get up early and we do get a painting but like anything else in Vietnam it wasn't easy. We're leaving for My Son at 10 so we get up at 8 and have a coffee and go down to the gallery. She calls the bank the bank says okay to the Visa card but she won't go below $120 US or 1,300,000 dong. Finally we say okay she rolls up the painting and we go with her to the bank. Of course, at the bank they inform us that regretfully they cannot accept our VISA card because they lack the proper communications link – it’s a nice way of saying that there are economic sanctions against them from our country. All we have are travelers checks and the bank rate for them is 11,400 to the dollar. We offer to cash it and give her all the money but she refuses. Finally we kick in an extra 60,000 and end up paying 1,200,000 dong for the painting - a steal at $105 really. It'll cost us more than that to frame it back home. So we rushed back to meet the crew just in time to go pack up and go. 

We drive for about 2 hours mostly way back in the boonies with nothing but hills and rice fields all around. We park the van when the road turns into four-wheel drive and we all get out and walk the 5km to the ruins. At one point the trail / road dips down into a river and a gentleman in a cone-shaped hat paddles over and kindly offers us a lift across for 5,000 each. We say we'll give him 5,000 for the 10 of us and he says no. So, we took a left and followed a small track along the river for 200 meters where you can walk across on stones. 

We try to contribute to the local economy and all we do is get taken advantage of. Before we know it we stumble upon the ruins of My Son.

My Son most important Cham religious site in Viet Nam and on par with Borodubur in Indonesia, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and Bagan in Burma – you get the picture. There's not much left but a bunch of overgrown ruins surrounded by mine sewn hills but it is nonetheless impressive. We immediately set to a picnic lunch of bread and cheese and Romanian wine. The setting is incredible. We roll a joint or two and then explore the area. The biggest group of 10 temples (designated group A) has been devastated by US bombs as this area was used as a Viet Cong staging area.

The carvings dating from the 9th to the 11th centuries are impressive - what's left of them anyway, we have a really good time climbing amongst the ruins and taking photos at the various temples. Finally, we head back to the van. We are met at the turn off by the boat man. It seems that given time to think perhaps he’d rather have 500 dong per head as better than nothing so he takes us all across the stream for 5,000 dong. The ride back to Danang is long and ends in the dark but it is tempered by the fact that we can play lots of tapes in the deck on the way.

Once Back In Da Nang we you go to the Tu Do restaurant for a last meal in Da Nang and head on back to the hotel for beers and bones. Got to head north tomorrow.

Wednesday February 26th

Everyone else catches the early train to Hue. Greta and I want to go on the much faster bus. We got up late about 8:30 and have a leisurely breakfast before commissioning our favorite cyclo driver to take us to the bus station. We get on a bus that is going to Hue and then we entered the Twilight Zone. I have noticed that this often happens when traveling by bus in southeast Asia.

They try to charge us 80,000 dong each which we managed to bargain down to 40,000 for the two of us. This is approximately twice the normal price. But then the bus leaves and we're the only two people on it! This is exceedingly strange - no bus in Asia leaves before it's full. We have some very scary vibes coming at us. Greta is convinced that we're going to have our throats cut and all of our money taken. I reason that we don’t have that much money. I’ve already had one pre-bus joint today so I’m feeling a little paranoid anyway. I’m on high alert (ahem) as the bus leaves Da Nang and heads over the mountain. The scenery here is fantastic as the road winds its way up the treeless green hills affording incredible views out over the South China Sea. We approach the clouds. Just before we cross the summit, which is protected by some serious-looking bunkers, we pass a truck accident. They're washing a very dead, very burned naked body. The sight multiplies the reality of the whole day. It's almost like watching a movie go by - not quite real seeming, yet it is quite real indeed. 

I'm worried about the state of the brakes as we descend the other side and the fog and the mist swirl about the stark black outlines of abandoned French-era block houses and pill boxes. I needn't worry, apparently the driver is as apprehensive about the brakes as I am and we inch down in first gear. 

The trip down the mountain and across the plain past the vast US air base of Phu Bai to the city of Hue flies by. All the while tout in the bus keeps flashing us five fingers - he wants us to pay 5,000 more. We keep saying, “No, no, no!”. We get into Hue and I notice that we pass right by the bus station and start heading into town. We want to get off and he doesn't want us to. I stand up and grab our bags and they stop the bus and let us off. No problem - we're quickly surrounded by a small army of cyclo drivers. We bargain with them for a ride to Nha Khach Hue Guest House by the railroad station. We got a cold water room for 65,000 dong (about 5 bucks). Hot water cost $10 bucks but it sure would be nice because it is butt-ass cold up here. Kind of cloudy and dreary too. 

We got a message at the desk to meet Brett and Carla and John the Norwegian at the front at 2. It's almost two, so we go down and we work out a trip to the DMZ for tomorrow. Between the 10 of us we get a van for $60 and we have to pay an extra $30 in Quang Tri where we pick up a necessary guide, so it seems like a cheap trip – less than 10 bucks each. We sign up, not only for ourselves but also for Dave & AJ then go across the street for a massive cheap 3,000 dong bowl with noodles and a baguette with cheese and also pick up a nice bag of buds as well for the doobies are running small.

This turns out to be quite a cafe with big Huda beers for 4500 dong served in a cooler full of ice water or a picture filled with the same. After a good munch we hire cyclo to drive us around the city for 2 hours for 10,000. We go down Thien Mu Pagoda the symbol of Hue. It is 4 km west of the city and was a hotbed of anti-government protest in the early 1960s. We talk with a monk there who needs books to study English with and see the big bell but the main attraction here is to see the vintage Austin-Healey which transported the bonze Thich Quang to his famous self-immolation in 1963. We find it behind the wat but can't believe it - it's being repainted! Classic. We get a few photos of that and realize that I've got a lot of these kind of photos on this trip. Pearl Harbor being closed, Bondi Beach being dug up, now this – famous car being repainted. Sometimes when you're traveling you just don't know if the thing you came to see is going to be ready for you to see it. We go back to the cyclo to check out to the Imperial Forbidden City

We buy some chirping bird whistles but can't get far into the city as they are closing up. It starts looking like rain to so we just tell our guide to take us to the train station and leave us there even though it's only just after 5. We check out the depressing news as the train station no soft seats on Saturdays train to Hanoi. Only hard sleepers at 420,000 dong are available. Ouch! We decide to think about it since we don't have enough money anyway. We go back to the hotel to contemplate the cold shower - no way I'll stink. We're soon over across the road drinking Huda beers and eating soup and baguettes with cheese and chicken. And having a beauty of a time. By the time the boys come in on the train from Lang Co it is 8:30. They go check in and come down and we start partying. Brett, Carla and John are there and we go over details for the trip for tomorrow morning.

Thursday February 27th

We get up early for a long day touring the DMZ and immediately have a hassle with the driver because we want to take 12 people and the contract was for 10. We end up chucking up some more money and almost got everyone on but Matt and Paul stay behind and we are off. We pass right by Quang Tri and the ruins of a church but we don't stop to get a guide until we get to Dong Ha. This dude is obviously a cop and is not to be trusted. He lays out the itinerary and tells us we cannot go to the Vinh Moch tunnels because of recent heavy rains in the area, they are inaccessible. We can go to Khe Sanh combat base see the Ho Chi Minh trail and the Rock Pile and then go on to the Truong Son National Cemetery. For this there would be an additional surcharge of $3. If there's time we can also visit Con Thien Fire base and Doc Mien base. We set off.

West of Dong Ha the terrain turns into steep-sided hills and narrow valleys. We stop at the road which leads to the formal Camp Carroll and the guide points out some hills which were fire bases and all of it was part of the useless so-called “McNamara's Wall” designed to stop infiltration over the DMZ but it didn't work, of course. Walls only work in medieval times and even then they had their faults.

Only a little further on is the small hillock known as the Rock Pile. Honestly, it doesn't look like much, but much destruction emanated from it. This was one of the main artillery batteries for the DMZ and it rained shells down 20 miles all around.

It is another 30 kilometers or so to the so-called Cuban bridge over Da Kong river built in 1973 and used as a branch of the Ho Chi Minh trail. We continue on towards the town of Khe Sanh. This is not exactly what I had imagined the DMZ to be.

No signs of mass destruction, just piles of scrap metal shell casings in people's front yards. One of the highlights of the morning was seeing a pig get lifted to the roof of a bus. He was not very happy about it either. We had a quick rather hasty lunch at Khe Sanh town before bumping down the dirt road to the site of the Khe Sanh combat base.

This is a little more interesting. Site of one of the bloodiest engagements of the ten thousand day war the ground was carpeted in places with bullets and shell casings and everywhere with pockmarked by the holes dug by salvagers. No real physical evidence of the base remains aside from the still visible airstrip. The Viet Cong called it the frying pan and I'm sure it seemed like one to the GI stationed here, only a stone's throw from the Laotian border. No wonder it was abandoned in 1968 after the Tet Offensive. The attack here in late 1967 was a decoy maneuver for the Tet Offensive but it was no joke for the sad Marine’s stuck here. The all-important airstrip and base was on the plains and surrounded by steep jungly hills which gave the North Vietnamese all the high ground. The geographic parallels with Dien Bien Phu are readily apparent. We collect a few souvenirs and get back on the van for the long ride out. 

It is getting late so the group decides to cancel the cemetery and ensure we see Doc Mieu base. Situated on a small, low rise only 8 km from the Ben Hai River which was the demarcation line or the River of Shame separating North and South Vietnam. It is also an integral part of McNamara's wall. All that's left is a partially-destroyed bunker surrounded by holes made by the high-risk salvages. One has been killed for every day since the war ended. We see many shredded grenade canisters.

Back in the car we drove down the hill and over the plain to the Ben Hai Bridge and crossed over into North Vietnam. Each side of the river had a large flagpole but the one on the North has now fallen over - probably built by Russians. it is very dark by the time we get back to Quang Tri and drop the guide off. He tries make us all pay $3 even though we didn't visit the cemetery. He says he made a mistake and Doc Mien costs a dollar as well. We say, “Sorry Charlie.” (See what I did there?)

We pull into Hue at about 8 and rather than risk a cold shower we just had to take our chances with the cold beer across the street. We drink something like our body weight in Huda before AJ stumbles into the gutter saying he feels funny. Dave and I escort him to bed and then I go to turns out he had was taking something from the pharmacy we're not quite sure what it was some kind of downers or something. Whatever it was it didn’t mix with all the alcohol.

Friday February 28th

Ouch my head! We get up fairly early and begin what turns out to be a day-long search for a minivan to Hanoi. The train costs over 400,000 and the bus is 40,000 we're looking for something in between. We meet a guy on the street who used to work with the US. He helps us negotiate with a pharmacist to go to Hanoi for 2 million or 250,000 each. 

We go back to tell the others and meet them both later at the pharmacy. Now our interpreter tells us that he has a friend who will take us for 1.8 million. So we go to look but he can't find a van. I take a letter to mail for a friend to his son in California and we go back to the pharmacy. There we find that he is realized that the going price is two and a half million and adjust his price accordingly. He won't come down and we go.

 We go In search of the Huda Brewery. We figured we don't have time to see temples or pagodas but we search and find the Huda Brewery east of town and south of the river. Most tourists to Hue are obligated to visit the temples and tombs of Viet Nam’s previous emperors which are scatted outside the city as Hue was where the Imperial Palace was located back in the day.

We knock on the door of the Huda brewery and are invited in for a full tour followed by sampling many Hudas. We talk with the Vietnamese brewmaster and there's even a Danish technical assistant, so true to the label - it is brewed with Danish technology! They give us banners and labels and we get a good buzz on. I get the feeling they’re not used to visitors but we tell them we have wanted to come here since we first tasted their beer in Ho Chi Minh City. A definite highlight of Hue and one that I don't think many other travelers have realized.

Back at the cafe across from the hotel while relaxing after this frustrating non-productive wasteful day drinking Huda and we find that they have a van and they'll go for 2.1 million. Jesus! All this time it was under our noses! We set it up and agree to leave at 7 a.m. One last blast of drinking many Hudas smoking large spliffs and pissing with pigs and sleep for tomorrow we are going to North Viet Nam – oh, and it is February 29th, Leap Day.

It is early when we stagger out of bed and across the street where we all pile into the van for the long 680 km (430 miles) 21 hour trip to Hanoi. Not much fun. Not much to do or tell. We managed to create a few beds to rest on along the way. The scenery is as usual quite stunning although from what I saw I have to say the North Vietnam is not nearly as beautiful as South Vietnam. And it is much poorer too. Near one pass we had kids running alongside the slow-moving van begging with wild eyes and snatching two hundred and 500 notes out of the windows. We stop for dinner near Vinh and create quite a crowd as usual. The menu choices here are slim pickens to say the least. I had what I’m pretty sure was something made out of dog, and rice. There was no other meat available here, and no veggies either. The drivers keep driving and we are alternatively sleeping, smoking or drinking. Before we know it the sun is up again and we are driving around early morning Hanoi way looking for a hotel. As Asian bus rides go this was a walk in the park.

Sunday March 1st

We finally find a room at the My Kuhn in the old quarter on Hang Buom Street for $20 but we squeeze all four of us in the room. We are enjoying hot water and air conditioning and a refrigerator! The street out front is full of life and stalls selling booze so, this is the place. The only bad thing about it is the price but all the hotels are expensive here in Hanoi. 

We're very tired but we leave Hanoi the day after tomorrow in the morning and the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum is closed on Sunday afternoons and all day on Monday so if we want to see him we have to go now. 

We bargain for a cyclo going from 10,000 to 3,000 in no time. The mausoleum is about 3 kilometers from the hotel. We get there and are directed to the reception building where we leave our bags and cameras. Then we follow an army dude out to the wide Avenue. Sober attire is required and then we have to march two by two in formation down the parade width street until we are opposite the museum. Here we do a left face up the red carpeted steps and into the imposing marble memorial. There are guards with bayonets at the door and in every corner of the circuitous route to see Ho Chi Minh.

One of the guards wants to see inside my fanny pack and I suddenly realize that I had a small bag of weed still in there. I also had a lot of 5,000 dong notes and I had covered the baggie with them. He didn’t ask me to take it off and didn’t probe any further but it gave me a scare and I was probably as pale as Ho when I see him. 

We go up some stairs and enter the room Ho is in. There, in an ornately carved wooden  sarcophagus with glass windows, is Ho Chi Minh. He is dressed in black silk pajamas and his lower half is completely covered by a blanket. The sight is impressive. Silence in this great hall is contained and reflected by the huge slabs of cold marble. There is a reproduction of the Vietnamese flag in marble on the wall. You must be completely silent, and you must keep moving. You cannot put your hands in your pockets. The soldier guides at the front and the back of the group keep prodding us along. Before we know it we are down the stairs and blinking in the sunshine and wondering whether the last five minutes ever happened or if it was the recollection of some weird dream. The guards move us along down the path to Ho’s house

It was built here in 1959 by the side of a pond. It is a modest but very well-built home with spartan furnishings. We continue around the path and end up at the One Pillar pagoda or at least a reproduction of the one that was blown up by the French when they left Hanoi in 1954. 

Just behind the Pagoda is the Ho Chi Minh Museum but it is now 11:30 and they are closing they won't be open again until Tuesday and we will be gone. So, we go back and get our cameras for some photos of the outside of the mausoleum where we met a US Vet who is taking videos that he sells back home. We talk with him very shortly but we're starving and need water so we're the wandering down Dien Bien Phu Street past Lenin’s statue but before we find any refreshment we get sucked into the Hanoi Military Museum.

It was great. 2,000 dong but we get a badge and there's tons of great stuff in here. The tank that took the presidential Palace in Saigon in 1975, pictures of captured airmen’s medals, models of Dien Bien Phu and Saigon so well worth the price of admission.

By the time we leave here we are literally on our last legs. We'll go down towards the old quarter and finally we found baguettes and pate at the curbside. Greta and I take a break while Dave, AJ, and Darren buy T-shirts. Fortified, Greta and I buy T-shirts and we order some souvenir patches to be picked up tomorrow.

By this time, we are close to the hotel so we pick our way through the weird narrow old streets that change names every two blocks back to it. We buy a few sample bottles of some Chinese beer, Zhu Jiang or China Light. It proves satisfactory and we can get a case for 7200. We pop one in the fridge and have a good long nap followed by a hot shower which drips on you but certainly not in earnest. We go to Restaurant 22 for dinner. It's only a couple of blocks away and once through the doorway we wind our way up many stairs to a table with a view. The food is okay but unremarkable and we are eager to go back and plow through our case of cold beers, so we do.

Monday March 2nd

 Today is a day of errands. We have to reconfirm our flight on Lao Airways tomorrow, send some postcards, go to the Indian Embassy to try to get a visa in a day plus we want to see the Hanoi Hilton. We're not screwing around we’re cycloing everywhere. We've called the Thai Embassy and found that we don't need a Thai visa to cross from Vientiane to Nang Khai on the ferry boat if we only stay 15 days or less in Thailand. So then we go to the Vientiane Vietnam Airlines International booking office near the lake. Where mass confusion reigns. Absolutely no signs in English. I ask at the information desk where I go to reconfirm my ticket and he indicates the next counter. I stand there until I hand them our tickets they confer in a huddle and tell us to go upstairs to counter two. We go upstairs to more confusion on a higher level. It seems we cannot reconfirm our flight because the flight is full or something, overbooked, nothing they can do, come back at 2 or see the Lao Aviation guy at the Laos Embassy.

 We talk to another American guy who is in the same boat. Shit. This just cannot be! Now we're a little worried. We check in the Thai Airways office next door because our tickets were issued through Thai Airways. They offer no help.

Stunned we walk like zombies down to the Indian Embassy. The street along the way is lined with outdoor barber shops all cutting merrily away. Classic photos. The Indian Embassy says yes we need a double tourist visa because we’re planning to go in, fly to Nepal, spend a month or two and then fly back to India but she has to check if we can get it today and how much it is. Come back at 2. Okay. Two is starting to look pretty busy.

Greta has an emergency, so we see go back to the hotel and relax eat bread and cheese and write postcards. Then we seek cyclo to the Boo Dien, or the General Post office to mail them. It cost 6,000 for one. We go around the corner to a little cafe to meet everyone else. They are running around too, dealing with international bureaucracy and airlines. I don't know how AJ and Dave will ever be able to leave Viet Nam. They don’t even have a reservation. We leave to check at the Lao Embassy, but it's locked up tight. So we walk back to the Vietnam Airlines booking office and get there just as it's reopening at 1:30. We go up, ask to reconfirm, show them our tickets, they punch it in and it comes out no problem. Go figure. We don't care, it's a relief just to be on that flight. So we go downstairs and check on the buses to the airport Our ticket says the plane leaves at 11:30 but they say it leaves at 10:50 so we want to get on the 0730 bus for a buck. No, we don't need tickets, just be here at 7:15. Cool. We come out of the office and I dash over to mail two more postcards these only cost 5,700 dong, so pro tip - mail things in the afternoon, I guess.

Now we hurry back down to the Indian Embassy where they politely but firmly tell us that we are shit out of luck. Try Bangkok. Oh well. Now we can tour around. We check out the Hanoi Hilton and circle the block. At the entrance they seem to want us to come inside. No thanks, hard pass on that.

We cyclo out to the museum to see if it's still closed and it is. So we go back and go to the Pagoda of the Restored Sword on the lake but we don't go in because it cost 3,000 dong, don't ask me why, because they can, I guess. So we wander again through the old quarter shopping and taking photos. I picked up the souvenir flags which are excellent and go back to the hotel. 

I open up a beer and have a little nap eventually everyone comes home to get another case and lo and behold it's party time. Eventually we shower and then parade down to Restaurant 202, not 22 for dinner. Some cops on the corner don't like us drinking in public and they yell at us but we don’t understand them anyway. We go up to the restaurant and everyone is there. Soup is thin and watery, and the beef is mediocre. Our beer calls us from the fridge in the hotel and we heed the call. 

A final cyclo brings us back to the hotel where I eventually everyone gathers around the table for a grand old piss session. Darren shows off his opium pipes and AJ has latched onto some American girl named, I think, Julianne. Somehow, we pack before sleeping.

Tuesday March 3rd

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? We are so hung over after about four hours of sleep. Greta is especially hurting. We sleep through the alarm and Darren comes in to wake us up at 6:45. We quickly got our shit together. We go down to hire cyclos then Greta goes upstairs to puke. This is the beginning of a trend. She comes down and we go to where the bus has little stalls set up selling coffee and baguettes. So we do breakfast on the miniature stools in the street. We get on the bus and Greta is absolutely green. We drive for an hour over the Red River Pass rice and vegetable fields 30 km to the airport, Non Bai.

I ease Greta's way through the necessary forms and formalities but as we're checking in for the flight Greta barfs. We go through passport control and beg him to let us have our visa back but it ain’t happening. Similarly we plead to stamp our passports. No way. We stagger into the waiting lounge all hard wooden benches. Greta lay down and we wait. It is now like 9:05 so we have about 2 hours.

Darren shows up and so do the guys that we saw in the ticket office, both from San Francisco, Todd and Dave with Mardi Gras beads on for Fat Tuesday. Dudes! I dunno if I can handle Fat Tuesday right now but this is not the last we will see of Todd and Dave.

We all sit around talking while everyone lines up to go through a metal detector and the hand luggage is x-rayed in a large box with two sliding doors. We wait we go through the process at about 10:30, Greta pukes. We're on the other side and we're waiting for the buses to transport people to their flights.

We wait. Greta goes back in and lays down. I go with her. We sleep. We wait. Finally, at 1:15 we got the call. Get on the bus. We fill the bus and go out to the small twin prop plane on the runway. A Russian Anatov 24. The seats pack you in almost as tight as a Vietnamese bus. I can't believe all the people on this plane! As soon as everyone's aboard we just cruise out and take off, there is no other air traffic.

The airport is indeed surrounded by bomb craters and you can see where the anti-aircraft defenses were set up. Vietnam falls away. There's almost a relief really - it is such an intense country it just constantly saps your energy. 

We are going to the Lao People's Democratic Republic or Lao PDR. Greta doesn't get sick on the flight but I enjoy her lunch of bologna, ham and cheese sandwiches and cream puffs. The flight takes an hour and 20 minutes we arrive in Vientiane, Laos at 4 p.m.. Along the way in you could see the little hill tribe villages down below. Very primitive looking. Probably growing opium and doing it legally Laos being one of the very few countries in the world which tolerates cultivation. 

The ground looks very dry from above as we come in to land and once again I ease the Greta through the formalities, which are in any case quite minimal. We meet the two dudes in front of the airport and the four of us share a taxi to the Metropole Hotel which seems temporarily out of $5 rooms would we like one for $26, no thank you. We go back out and Greta is near the end. I get us into two rickshaws and a driver takes us to a cheap hotel he knows. I ask how much, $6 bucks, I check it out, okay and we're in.

Greta collapses on the bed. They bring us free water, towels, soap and toilet paper. We settle right in. I get her comfortable then I go out and wander around. I go all the way back into town and get back at about dark. Greta has a fever which was at 38.9 and has now gone down to 38.4. She isn't going anywhere. I'm hungry so I walk back into town again and try to eat at the Indian place but it's full, so I go back to the Thai restaurant and have fried rice. It goes down heavy. I walk back to the Thong Guest House near New Nouang Douang Market I'm tired. I go back to the hotel and before I know it I'm puking too and I got the shits. Both of us pass out in separate beds feeling like death.

Wednesday March 4th

This is our last day taking malaria pills! We should be good through Laos and Thailand and we don't need them in India and Nepal anyway. We sleep and sleep. I get up and shit every 3 hours like clockwork. We only go as far as downstairs for toilet paper and drinks. Finally at about 4 we have a motorcycle taxi take us to the market for 500 Kip. I want to buy some grass which is openly sold in the market. 

The market is closed when we get there, oh well. We go by the US Embassy which shows a movie every Wednesday for $2. Tonight's feature is “Pure Luck” starring Martin Short and Danny Glover. Sounds bad. We bump into “The Dudes” at the photo store where they are preparing a stack of envelopes. They've been to the market and bought some grass and they are going to mail it to themselves all over the world would we like some? Why yes thank you! 

We go up to their room at the Metropole and listen to some Professor Long Hair followed by vintage Grateful Dead on their speaker-equipped walkman while we enjoy some fine Laoi Wowie. These guys are mailing packages to themselves in Mongolia, China and Russia and they are also sending some to their home in the States. They are on the “Been there, done that world preservation tour and their goal is to see Ho, Mao and Lenin under glass.

We blow another bone before going to see the stupidest movie I've ever seen. It was kind of funny though. The embassy people in attendance reminded me of living in Vienna - the people in the audience that is, but there were fewer of them. There is a certain vibe emitted by the people and families in the US Foreign Service that I am not quite sure how to describe but it is a kind of “we’re all in this together” feeling.

After the film we all try to eat at the Indian restaurant but they say it's too late they're closed. Greta and I decided to skip the dinner and we catch a motorcycle taxi back to the hotel. We share it with a woman with two very cute little boys who “wai” at us when we get out. A wai is the traditional Buddhist greeting, a sign of respect to elders where the hands are clasped together and held just above the forehead accompanied by a little bow. So sweet! We go up to the room and pass out.

Thursday March 5th

We sleep in rather late again but when we leave we rent bikes from the guest house, 700 Kip for the day. At roughly 14,000 kip to the dollar, it’s less than a dime. We stop the Anon hotel and find that there is no way to go to Luang Prabang or anywhere else outside of Vientiane city on a tourist visa, whether we buy a tour or not. Bummer. Well that settles that. Next we go to the telephone office and Gretel makes a $15, 3 minute phone call to her mom. We have breakfast at the coffee shop across from the Metropole. Greta decides we should peddle out to the Mekong Guesthouse to leave a message for everybody. But all the rumors are true - 3 km later and it's closed! Oh well, nothing to do but peddle back. It's hot. We stop for water at a small shop on the side of the road. We also stop at Wat Si Muang which is built around Lak Muang or the city pillar home of the Guardian Spirit of Vientiane. Sanctified by a pregnant girls’ sacrifice, according to legend.

The wat is okay, but the grounds were even better. Lots of sculptures and monkeys. Yes, monkeys. One clamped onto Greta and didn't want to leave. She carried him around for a while. There was some other strange animal with a long thick tail and short strong legs with claws and a pointed fox-like face with teeth and tufted, pointed ears like a cat. I don't know what the hell it was. I was told later that it was a ferret badger.

We go over to the market across the road to look for grass. We look all over. Greta got to go use the toilet I go across the road and find Lao #1 ganja hanging up by the bagful at 300 Kip per – less than a nickel!

We go to see if the Brits have checked in anywhere, but can't find them. We go back to our room and smoke. We have showers and a nap and then we go out for a simple Indian meal of daal and rice with chapatis. We pedal back to the room after dinner with no alcohol and lie around reading then sleep. 

Friday March 6th

 We pedal to the little coffee shop on our bikes. We talk to a guy named John who is here on a $100 business visa. We also see Grandpa Matt, Julia, Lita and John. The crew. We catch up on happenings. Dave and AJ are leaving on the 10th. This crew is going to the pool. We are going sightseeing. We go to the bank first and cash $100 and we get 143,000 Kip which equals 1430 kip to the dollar and that's bankrate. Then we go to Wat Phra Keo. It was the former home of the emerald Buddha which is now at Wat Phra Keo in Bangkok. This wat is no longer a place of worship and is now a museum. 

The building itself is a 1942 reconstruction of the original structure built in 1546. The museum contains some incredible sculptures. On the grounds outside is a small example of a stone jar from the plain of jars, near Luang Prabang, which we really want to go see but our visa prohibits us leaving the city of Vientiane. Bunch of bureaucratic red tape but it is what it is.

We stop off at the black stupa for a photo. Known as That Dam, it is the abode of a dormant seven-headed dragon that came to life during the 1828 Siamese-Lao war and protected local citizens. Leaving we turn on to the wide avenue which leads to the Grand Monument of the Patuxay. It looks reminiscent of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris but with definite Lao influence. It's big too! 450 kip go to the top. So we do, and I blow a bone up there enjoying the view. You can see you from there all the way up the radiating Avenue to our next objective the Pha That Louang or “great sacred stupa”. It is 45 meters tall and looks like a fortress. It is rumored to contain a bit of breastbone of Buddha. Most Buddhist stupas are supposed to be built around a relic which is often rumored or supposed to be a piece of the body of Buddha.

We go in and wander around and chat with the monks and novices there. Then we go for a photo of the Unknown Soldiers Memorial to commemorate the Pathet Lao who died in the 1964-1973 war of resistance.

I forgot to mention that on the way to Pha That Leuong we pass by the Indian Embassy. Greta, seized by inspiration, wants to go in and ask about visas. Stoned, I do not. We go in. We are ushered into some dudes office who says, “Try Bangkok. Why come here?” We explain that we are here now but he is not listening. We go. It was worth a try.

It is now just about cocktail hour so we point our bikes to Mixai bar on the banks of the wide and lazy Mekong River where giant pitchers of cold draft beer are 1,000 kip, less than a buck! Eventually the whole crew meets up and we start slamming beers. We also managed to order a bit of tasty fried rice from them. Finally, we go in search for a proper dinner but it's too late. This is taken as a signal to drink heavily.

We move the party to the cafe around the fountain in the center of town. There is much in Vientiane that suggests a certain “Paris of the East” quality - even more so than Saigon. But in both countries the people are so bloody poor. This capital is like a small town smaller than Boulder and it's crawling with UN relief workers, Embassy people and NGO’s. They get a lot of international aid here. It's a big business.

We order hamburgers for 2,000 kip and drink pitchers of beer and smoke doobies. Some old fart who looks like Robin Leach latches onto US. Finally, it was curfew here - 12 p.m. We have to head home and stagger in at 12:30 I think we worried our hosts.

Saturday March 7th

We finally get motivated and leave the hotel at a quarter to 1. We go to Mixai and get some more of that tasty fried rice and make a beeline for the pool at the Long John Hotel. You're supposed to pay a dollar but we came in the way hotel guests do and managed to slip in. There's a zoo with a collection of pathetic animals, a bear with a skin disease and a bearcat that looks okay. Some birds and a crocodile. We go pick out lounges in the sun and settle in for relaxation time. Have a dip, read, nap - a good way to spend a quiet, hot afternoon. 

After a shower we head to the Santisouk restaurant and go all out. We spend 9500 kip almost $10. We are so full right now we can barely pedal to the hotel where we read and relax, then sleep. Tomorrow we plan an early start to see Ang Nam Ngum dam and lake. It's supposed to be quite picturesque there and we're looking forward to seeing a little bit of Laotian countryside.

Sunday March 8th

Well, it turns out to be a 3-hour bus trip up to the lake and we realize that we should have gone yesterday so we go back to bed. Fail. We have lunch with John from Taiwan at the Indian restaurant with excellent chai. After the pool calls. Reading Conrad by the pool. Quote “History is made with tools not with ideas and everything is changed by economic conditions - art philosophy, love, virtue, truth itself.” End quote that's Michealis, the ticket-of-leave man in The Secret Agent.

The crew trickles in. None of us go swimming we just hang out by the pool. Degenerates. As the clock approaches 5 we adjourn to Mixai’s and have a joint along the way. The beer is quite warm tonight and we have a couple of pitchers and some fried rice and head back early. I give Greta a lift on her bike and let John ride mine and the bottom bracket explodes and we can't fix it so we walk the long walk home. Drag. I smoke another bone I'm so wasted, this Laoie Wowie is amazing  - I’ve never had weed like this.

I apologize to the dude at the desk when we return the bike but I think he knows it's not our fault. We go up and have a beer and a joint and do some talking with John and some reading then sleep. Tomorrow we leave the Lao PDR and return to Thailand where we’ll have 15 days to figure out what next.

Monday March 9th

I wake up today and decide to do something really crazy and I don't really know why, but I figured it wouldn't be that big a deal to carry a film can full of Laoie Wowie across the Mekong River and into Thailand. Why, I have no idea, it might just be that I wasn’t thinking straight. I mean, the idea was a bit like taking coals to Newcastle. I couldn’t bear to just throw those beautiful buds away.

We get up and caught a couple of cyclos to the coffee shop with a stop by the bank where we change our Kip back into Bhat. We have breakfast and then walk over to the bus station. It is hot! We walk past a line of motorcycle taxis on the way they all yell, “Tha Dena?” we say, “Yes.” We want to go to Tha Dena but first we want to stop at Wat Xieng Khuan before going to Tha Dena where the ferry departs. 

Wat Xieng Khuan or, Spirit City Temple is not really a temple or a wat. It’s a Buddha park with sculptures everywhere. A giant reclining Buddha dominates and next to his elbow a great pumpkin shaped object with three levels meant to signify hell, Earth and heaven.

It was all built by Luang Pu (which means the venerable grandfather) Bunleua Sulilat, a yogi / priest / shaman who merges Buddhist and Hindu philosophy. Apparently there's a similar one called Wat Khaek in Nong Khai just across the Mekong. It's a wild place! The sculptures are so real and very bizarre and there are hundreds of them. My favorite is a man with four arms riding a three-headed elephant. The pumpkin is good too. I wish I'd brought a flashlight.

I smoke a joint on the roof of the pumpkin. We take lots of photos then had the driver take us to Tha Dana. The ferry doesn't leave until 2 and it's only about 1. We find a café overlooking wide Mekong and have a Coke and relax reading and writing for an hour. Then the moment of truth, we go.

No problems in Lao PDR - stamp, stamp okay down to the boats and we're over across the river in no time climbing the steep steps up to the Nong Khai immigration checkpoint. We fill out the forms, get our passports stamped, and then as we head out, to my horror, they want to search my bag. Holy crap! I nearly shit myself right there. They go through my shoulder bag pretty good but when faced with the purple monster (my backpack) they are daunted from their task. They squish its sides couple of times but that's it. Perhaps it is the smell of the fermenting laundry that put them off. In any case we are waved through and hand shaking and heart pounding I was squinting in the hot sun. That was a close one. It doesn't help that I am stoned as hell. What the fuck was I thinking?

We catch a tuk-tuk to the Mut Mee Guest House on the banks of the Mekong. Seems a cool place to hang out - the rooms are 100 Baht (you get about 30 to the dollar, so 3 bucks and change) but they won't have any until 6. So we put our bags in storage and our names on the waitlist and rent a couple of bicycles and go out on the town. We go to the train station to get to sleepers on the Saturday evening train to Bangkok for 665 Bhat. Okay, now we're all set. We cruise around looking for postcards and end up in a restaurant. I get an excellent chicken curry. You can tell by the food that we're back in Thailand. So excellent.

We chow down then pedal back to the guest house to await our room. I pass out on a big, padded dish hanging under a large shady tree until the mosquitoes drive me away and I must get up. We get our room - spacious and with a view! Toilet is down the hall but the bed looks big and comfy. We settle in and sort out our dirty laundry and shower until we decide to go downstairs for a few beers and perhaps a bite to eat. I got a delicious chicken with ginger and rice. We wander out for a doobie walk but it seems very watchful here. The guest house seems to have a firm management intent on sound principles. They will not tolerate any smoking of the devil’s grass on their property.

Tuesday March 10th 

Quote. “To snatch a passing phase of life is only the beginning of the task. The task, approached in tenderness and faith, is to hold up unquestioningly, without choice and without fear, the rescued fragment before all eyes in the light of a sincere mood. It is to show its vibration, its color, its form and through its movement, reveal the substance of its truth - disclose it's all inspiring secret”. End quote. Joseph Conrad’s preface to the Niger of the Narcissist.

I've decided that today is laundry day and I will scrub my laundry down then sit back and watch it dry. The best part. They've got nice big pots of tea here and only 10 Baht - a rarity in Thailand. We ran into Nita and Jan at breakfast. I guess the English crew went on motorbikes up to Chiang  Kien. Dave and AJ are supposed to fly into Laos today, I guess. Now I'm off to wash clothes.

 I accomplished the chore of laundry now I can hang out and write, maybe catch up on my story. Brett and I have been talking about that taboo travelers subject - what are we going to do when we go home. Blah blah blah yeah we talk about what we're going to do, but we don't really know. Honestly, I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like going back.

 Wednesday March 11th. 

One week with no malaria tablets. We have breakfast then pack and leave the Mut Mee in time to catch the 10:50 bus to Sangkhom. We get there at about 1:30 so it's not a bad trip at all and only cost 25 Baht. We get off at the River Huts Guest House and it's all closed up! No one home. We try some of the other places 50 bhat but none on the river. Finally we go to TXK Guest House and get a bungalow with fan for 80 bhat. We settle in, have a tofu burger which is excellent and then a nap. We sign up for the communal feast this evening – for only 45 bhat we’ll check it out. After a shower we go see if we can find some Mekong whiskey.

The Mekong search is successful, of course, and the dinner is pretty good too but there's not enough of it. We have some nice dinner talk, people are interested to hear of our Viet Nam adventures.

After dinner we go with everyone to see the festival dancing. It's hilarious. There seems to be about two male singers, one female singer, and 16 young female dancers. They keep changing clothes between each number and there's about a thousand people watching them. I watch for a bit but the entertainment value was pretty low. Watching the monks run the primitive ring toss game was much better. They are getting a bhat a ring and are making a fortune! We soon get bored and go back to guest house and finish off the Mekong.

Tuesday, March 12th

Got up and moved bungalows. We now occupy the grand bungalow on the river with a hammock and a chair. Excellent. We needed a place to hang out. We have tea and give the Aussies and the English last info on Viet Nam. It's fun to talk about going there. I almost wish we were going back. Funny, since I couldn't wait to get out of the place. We go and have some breakfast and talk more about Viet Nam. We go back to the guest house and they pack to catch a bus to Nong Khai. I share a joint with the Aussie guy before he goes and now I’m just sitting here on the crumbling banks of the mighty Mekong watching the old river just roll on by. I think I'll do it until Saturday. The biggest item currently on my calendar is that I have to have my herbal sauna at 5. I think I can make that.

The sauna is fantastic! I draw a picture of the rig in my journal. Basically, it's a 5 gallon can with a tight-fitting lid filled with water and herbs that's placed over a hot fire and the resulting steam is piped into the sauna. They put lemongrass and eucalyptus in the water and it starts boiling away. It's more like a steam bath than a sauna really but the end result is the same. Relaxation. This is the place for it. We pass on the communal dinner thing tonight. The leaves they fed us last night have passed, unchanged, through my entire body. Tonight, it is supposed to be peanut sauce. Sounds good but I'll pass. We go to DD guest house for dinner including pancakes. We return stuffed, lay back and listen to the radio, smoke a joint and read.

Friday March 13th

Lucky day! Greta goes to get a twisting Thai massage at 10 a.m. When she gets back we have some lunch / brunch whatever and settle in for some heavy relaxation. This will be the last day of our sojourn here along the Mekong. Tomorrow we must go to Bangkok on the night train. There's a wedding here today or perhaps it is just the reception. In any case we are invited to dinner tonight.

We’ll try to leave here at around noon tomorrow so that we might have a couple hours looking around Nong Khai for Dave and AJ. They may be around about now, assuming they got out of Vietnam okay. So, not much happening today. Watch the river roll inexorably on.

We go to the wedding for dinner I must say that although the people are very friendly and nice I could have done without the dinner - sticky rice, leaves and cat food. The Mekong was good though.

 Saturday March 14th

Boy was that Mekong good. We're very hungover today. I smoke the last of the Laoie Wowie and we catch the 1 o’clock bus to Nong Khai which we reach at about 4 pm. We have lunch and go searching for Dave & AJ. We know that they are in town. They rented bikes from the Mekong Guesthouse and we think that they are staying at the Sawadee Guest House but we can't find them. We finally have to board the train to Bangkok at 7 pm. The beds are already made up. We have a beer and a valium and go to bed and read for a while before sleeping. 

Sunday March 15th. 

The night train and its inherent magnetism brings us back to Bangkok again, city of smog, bright and early at 6 a.m. We deal with the usual hassle of tuk tuk drivers and getting a room. Actually, we end up with a nice room at the preferred Green Guest House - a corner one on the third floor. It’s a Bangkok box with a view!

However when we go to run our errands we find that we might as well as stayed in Nong Khai until tomorrow. For example, Tab Tim, our travel agent, cannot issue our Nepal tickets until tomorrow afternoon. The film developing place isn't open etcetera. 

So, we get our tickets tomorrow and then we must apply for our Indian visa and Nepali visas on Tuesday. Oh well. We basically spend the day hanging out shopping.

Greta has her final suit fitting. For dinner we go to our favorite Indian place the Royal Indian and find that they've raised all their prices by at least 10 baht per entree. Oh well, so much for that place. We spend an unusually quiet night for Bangkok, just hanging out and reading. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow though, undoubtedly running around all over Bangkok in the choking fumes.

I’ll tell more next time. There is a great Saint Patrick’s Day story about the last few days in Bangkok before leaving for India and Nepal. But that’s all for now, see you next time, goin’ down the road.