Episode 27: Intellectual Humility: Why It Needs To Be Okay To Say "I Was Wrong About That"

In this episode, April discusses the concept of intellectual humility, which is something that people could use more of (and by "people," she means herself).

Episode 27 Show Notes (so many really good sources!!!):
Here's Ed Kang's article from the website YouEQ: https://www.you-eq.com/news-events/emotional-intelligence-skills-intellectual-humility#:~:text=According%20to%20Pepperdine%20University%2C%20there%20are%20four%20dimensions,intellect%204%20Willingness%20to%20revise%20one%E2%80%99s%20own%20viewpoint

Another good article from the John Templeton Foundation website (there's also a great YouTube video there called "The Joy of Being Wrong"): https://www.templeton.org/discoveries/intellectual-humility

Brian Resnick's Vox article, from which I gleaned a LOT of information:
https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2019/1/4/17989224/intellectual-humility-explained-psychology-replication

This is a great, in-depth discussion of intellectual humility by Shane Snow: https://www.shanesnow.com/articles/intellectual-humility#intellectual-humility-intro

While this author and I are on different sides of some important issues, she speaks a lot of truth, and I have great respect for her:
https://aleteia.org/2017/08/05/even-if-we-disagree-i-respect-you/

Kate Horowitz on the connection between overconfidence and lack of intellectual growth: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/76773/overconfidence-can-stunt-your-intellectual-growth-study-says#:~:text=Being%20overconfident%20is%20a%20barrier%20to%20intellectual%20growth%2C,they%20do%20and%20what%20they%20do%20not%20know.%22

How acknowledging our intellectual limitations leads to knowledge:
https://www.konsyse.com/articles/what-is-intellectual-humility-why-is-it-important/

Gregg Enriquez's discussion of ego: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/202105/what-is-the-ego

Elizabeth Svoboda on why changing our minds is so difficult: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_is_it_so_hard_to_change_peoples_minds

Matthew Buckley discusses ways to talk to people with whom you disagree: https://www.psychreg.org/respect-other-peoples-opinion/

Transcript

Episode 27: Intellectual Humility; Why it needs to be ok to say “I Was Wrong About That”

My husband and I have a running joke in which he insists I spend a lot of time telling him he’s wrong; and I respond by telling him that he’s wrong about that…which of course kind of proves his point. However, as a college professor, I DO need to be right at least sometimes, to have a certain amount of knowledge about certain topics. That notwithstanding, I’m wrong a LOT. Like, a LOT. About many, many things. Just ask my offspring, and anyone who has more than a passing acquaintance with me. They will be happy to tell you that I am wrong a lot. Finding out I’m wrong about something, while it is annoying and occasionally embarrassing, doesn’t generally cause me to go into some kind of apoplectic fit, although I might spend some time researching just to make sure I WAS actually wrong about it. But I AM smart enough to know that there are an infinite number of topics I simply don’t have a clue about, and even subjects in which I have a great deal of interest—like astrophysics, I’m totally fascinated by that—but I recognize there is no way I could ever come to understand it in a way that makes me any kind of an expert. The math and the physics of it are things my brain simply isn’t capable of grasping, so all I can really do is struggle to vaguely understand a tiny bit of it, while admiring those who truly do get it. And while that saddens me a little, I’m okay with it.

And that leads me to our topic for today’s episode—intellectual humility. In our polarized social and political climate, there are a lot of voices screaming for our attention, telling us they know for certain what’s going on and why aren’t you opening your eyes to the truth, sheeple? Many of these people are also certain that they are never wrong, and if they were to be wrong they’d admit it, but since they’re never wrong, well, there’s nothing to admit…I think you might even know someone like that. Hopefully it’s not you. Anyway, people who think and act like this have a deficit of intellectual humility, which, according to organizational development consultant Ed Kang is defined as “the virtue that balances a willingness to change (with) the wisdom to know when not to change. Intellectual humility requires creativity, cognitive flexibility and, of course, the willingness to check our egos at the door.” Sounds like something we could all use a little more of, right? I know I could--Let’s dive deeper into this subject—here we go!

Music

Here’s another definition of intellectual humility from the John Templeton foundation website: “Intellectual humility is a mindset that guides our intellectual conduct. In particular, it involves recognizing and owning our intellectual limitations in the service of pursuing deeper knowledge, truth, and understanding.”

Science reporter Brian Resnick says in a Vox article that Intellectual humility is simply “the recognition that the things you believe might in fact be wrong,” But, he says we shouldn’t confuse it with overall humility or bashfulness. As he says, “It’s not about being a pushover; it’s not about lacking confidence, or self-esteem. The intellectually humble don’t cave every time their thoughts are challenged.” Resnick explains how intellectual humility works by likening it to the scientific method, in which scientists do their best to rule out any other alternative explanations before determining what is truly likely to be the case. It takes intellectual humility to be willing to look for evidence that the thing you think is true may not be, but without that commitment, we would never come to the kinds of good, solid conclusions that move scientific knowledge forward. 

So what are the components of intellectual humility? Writer, speaker, and corporate trainer Shane Snow says there are four of them:

1.     The first component is to have respect for others—right away, this one is tricky, isn’t it? I mean, what if someone has a belief that’s, to your mind, ridiculous or even dangerous? Think of it this way-- respecting others does not mean accepting their beliefs as true; it simply means that we need to be tolerant and understanding of those who hold beliefs that are different from ours. You can say, “I disagree,” but you also need to realize that other person has their own reasons for believing as they do. It’s not the same thing as acquiescing to their beliefs, especially if those beliefs include marginalizing others or condoning violence. Grief recovery specialist Luz Yvonne Ream says, “Every person deserves respect, and when someone holds a different opinion in good will, that good will also deserves respect.” I think good will is the key here.

2.     The second component--don’t be Intellectually Overconfident—Science writer Kate Horowitz says that overconfidence can stunt your intellectual growth. Don’t get me wrong, being confident in yourself is great. However, overconfidence can make you less likely to challenge or push yourself intellectually. And that can lead to you falling victim to the Dunning-Kruger effect, which I’ve discussed in previous episodes. The Dunning Kruger effect happens when someone has an unrealistic or overinflated belief about their level of knowledge and expertise on a topic, and that makes them unable to see their true level of understanding about it. People who fall victim to this are just as likely, and sometimes even more likely, to dole out advice or opinions on a topic, than someone with ACTUAL expertise. They are also less likely than a real expert to acknowledge when they might be wrong.  And this tendency is the opposite of how we should be reacting; according to an article by Claire Garcia on the website Konsyse.com, we should remember that people who acknowledge their intellectual limitations are more open to acquiring new information and by extension, new knowledge. 

3.     The third component is to separate your ego from your intellect—this follows naturally from the last component; overconfidence certainly can arise from the connection between our ego and our intellect. We all have a natural and deep-seated need to be right; nobody wants to be wrong! Often when information challenges our deeply held beliefs, it feels almost painful. We can get defensive, even angry. That’s because those kinds of beliefs are tied to our identities, and that’s what our ego is there to protect. Dr Gregg Henriquez writes in Psychology Today that ego is, to put it simply, “the part of you that is engaged in self-justification.” Shawn Snow says that discussions on topics that are tied to identity are very difficult to make productive, but because those topics tend to be important not just to us, but to society at large, it’s important that we learn to separate our ego from our intellect so we can discuss these topics without wanting to kill each other.

4.     Finally, the last component is that we should be willing to revise our viewpoints—and yes, this is very difficult to do, because of all the things I just talked about. We have, as Elizabeth Svoboda, a writer for Greater Good Magazine says, “a strong drive to hold on to pre-existing beliefs and convictions,” and depending on the circumstances, changing them can exact a high personal toll. Lots of people continue to hold on to beliefs even though they might have reservations about them, because they know that speaking out against those beliefs would mean they might lose their family, friends, and the support of their community. Also, changing your mind has a really bad rap—we consider the ideal person to be someone who has decided what’s right and sticks to that their whole life, no matter what—and sure, that’s commendable, except when you come to the realization that what you thought was true actually might not be. The ability to change one’s mind and admit that we were wrong, she says, “ultimately boils down to an issue of character—of our ability to transcend our ego”…to see it not as uncertainty but as a commitment to the truth.

Music

Okay, so these four things are all really important, but hard to accomplish. What are some ways we can become more intellectually humble?

1.     Let’s look at how we can have respect for other’s viewpoints, by first looking at why it’s so difficult. I really think the main reason is this—you might be afraid that by showing respect for a person whose viewpoint you find incorrect, you’re somehow validating that viewpoint, or making the other person think that it is somehow “ok” when that’s not what you think about it. But immediately condemning someone’s viewpoint may not be the best way to handle things. Psychologist Matthew Buckley says that NOT immediately jumping in and declaring your opposition to someone’s beliefs is much more likely to lead to an interesting and enlightening discussion. If you say, “you’re wrong” or “That’s stupid” or “I can’t believe you would think that,” you’re not likely to gain anything from the encounter and you may even lose a friendship. But if you say something like, “You know, I wonder--why do you feel that way?” and then listen to their reasoning (or their justification, whatever), it's much more likely that you will begin to understand their perspective. And understanding someone’s perspective can help you to see the bigger picture and can also help you see why YOU think a particular way about an issue. And even though you may disagree about the main issue, you might find there are tangential issues on which you actually agree with that other person. Seeking common ground, finding areas of agreement—these are techniques that diplomats use to help warring countries start to put aside their weapons and find peace, and they can work in our personal lives as well. 

2.     And being respectful of other viewpoints can help us as we work to become less intellectually overconfident.  In fact, acknowledging that we might NOT know everything about a topic is the first step in truly becoming more knowledgeable.  Asking trusted people around us for feedback periodically is also an excellent way to determine if we might be placing too much confidence in our knowledge and abilities. Always being a student of your interests, continuing to learn by seeking out the best information (and I’ve talked before about how truly knowledgeable and educated people do research), and never deciding that you’ve learned everything there is to know about a topic, these are all things we can do to avoid becoming overconfident.. There’s always something more to learn!

3.     And doing those things will also help you to be able to start separating your ego from your intellect (and by you, I mean me). It’s important to begin to recognize when our ego makes an appearance—it’s most likely to happen when we hear someone say something that goes against one of your deeply held beliefs. What kind of uncomfortable emotion are you feeling in that moment? Is it anger? Confusion? Fear or disgust? Do your best to stop yourself from jumping into the fray and letting your ego justify your opinion about the topic, and simply acknowledge the emotion that you’re feeling. This is something that I’ve been trying to do, and while it doesn’t always work, when it does, I am much less likely to have a knee-jerk reaction and make some snarky comment that leads to an encounter that has no possibility of ending well. 

4.     Then, finally, the day may come that you might need to revise one of your deeply held viewpoints (now of course that would be in the face of new, solid, incontrovertible evidence, and not because you’ve been talked into it by some very persuasive person or entity). Admitting you were wrong, difficult though it may be, is actually a very good thing to do. And there are efforts out there to change the stigma surrounding those admissions, particularly for scientists and researchers—psychologist Julie Rohrer and some of her colleagues created something called the Loss of Confidence Project, an academic “safe space” for researchers to declare that they have lost confidence in some previous finding and no longer believe it to be accurate. She’s hoping to normalize admitting past mistakes so that people will not be penalized for them. We need a culture that accepts the words “I was wrong about that” and recognizes that only through those words can we get closer to the truth. It’s true that, depending on the circumstances, some of your acquaintances, or even a troll mob on social media might try to shame you for admitting you were wrong, but frankly, it’s highly unlikely those people are acting with good will when they do that, so I have no problem saying--fuck those people. They are attempting to perpetuate the belief that admitting wrongness is a weakness, and trying to make themselves look better by comparison because they haven’t changed their mind. And even though we often fear that we will be seen as less competent or trustworthy if we admit we were wrong, it isn’t necessarily the case. Social psychologist Adam Fetterman found in several studies that wrongness admission isn’t generally judged harshly by most people, despite the efforts of a few people to turn humility into humiliation. According to him, “When we do see someone admit that they are wrong, the wrongness admitter is seen as more communal, more friendly,” He says it’s almost never the case, in his studies, “that when you admit you’re wrong, people think you are less competent.” So, difficult as it is for your ego to admit wrongness, on balance it is a far more positive than a negative thing.

Music

In the end, cultivating intellectual humility doesn’t mean giving up on all our ideas and convictions, and just being open to whatever anyone tells us; it’s NOT gullibility. Remember Ed Kang’s definition of intellectual humility as “the virtue that balances a willingness to change (with) the wisdom to know when not to change.” And Brian Resnick puts it perfectly when he says, “It …means we need to be thoughtful in choosing our convictions, be open to adjusting them, seek out their flaws, and never stop being curious about why we believe what we believe.” As I said, it’s something we all need to cultivate more of, and  hopefully I’ve given you some ideas that will help you think it through.