You're doing all the right things... showing up for your family, your faith, your work, yet still something feels off. You're overwhelmed more than you want to be. Your relationships have the same friction points. You wonder why you keep getting in your own way.
Your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.
The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast with Amy Wicks exists for faith-driven women who are ready to get to the root, not just better strategies, but real transformation from the inside out.
Each week, Amy brings honest conversations, personal stories, and the kind of practical wisdom that actually changes how you see yourself and the people you love.
The Enneagram is the tool. Christ is the transformation. And you were made for more than just managing your patterns.
🎙️ New episodes every week. Subscribe and start wherever you feel most stuck.
Faith-based identity coaching for women who are tired of feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of who they really are.
I’m excited to share this special episode that will give you specific details I use to coach my clients. These insights are step one of a three-step growth process in your spiritual, emotional, and relational life.
Today I want to help you become more aware of your unique stress patterns and triggers and the beneficial process of reflection. I’m also giving insight today to demonstrate how the Enneagram is not just fun table talk but can also be used to provide insight into the transformation you need in your relationships and business.
This deep dive episode is similar to the amazing sessions available in the second annual Wholehearted Enneagram Summit. If you haven’t heard yet, this September, there will be over 20 conversations with Enneagram experts worldwide, providing specific and practical steps to help you take self-awareness and create new rhythms to see significant emotional growth.
And whether you are listening to this episode before September 12th or after, you can learn more about this amazing resource created just for you below or at simplywholehearted.com (linked below!). Plus. It’s a completely FREE event, but of course, I will throw in a few perks if you decide to purchase an all-access pass!
The past episode mentioned contemplative practices. Listen here
What if transformation doesn't start with trying harder, but with knowing you're already beloved? In my new book, Wholehearted Enneagram: The Journey from Type to Transformation as God's Beloved, you'll walk alongside nine women, one for each Type, through stories, Scripture, breath prayers, and tree metaphors that reframe what growth re
Reaction is automatic. Response is chosen. When stressed, you default to automatic patterns driven by emotions or irrational thinking. It's purely reactional. But when you utilize self-awareness, like the kind you find in the Enneagram insights, you can partner with the Holy Spirit who can provide you with the fruit of the spirit, one of which is self-control, or I like to say sometimes self-government. And this helps bring you out of automatic patterns and into a response that you choose. Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a Jesus and Enneagram enthusiast. As a wife, mama of three humans, and a fur baby, I get it. Juggling entrepreneurship in a family is challenging, but I believe the Lord does want your work to be enjoyable. As an Enneagram type 7, I am all about the fun factor. And this podcast is here to help you put the joy back into working mom life. So you can see 1 Timothy 6.17 come to pass in your own thing. It's a verse that says that God has given us all things to enjoy. All? Well, friends, it means all. Motherhood, work from home life, or work out of the home life. With the Lord's help, there's truly a way to feel calm, balance, joy, clarity, and peace in any arena of life. Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast, where you can expect solo-style and interview-style episodes that are full of faith-based concepts, simple ideas, Enneagram insights, alongside practical tips to help you put that smile back on your face when it comes to doing life with Jesus. Now get your headphones and head to that big pile of dishes in the sink, or maybe that bathroom that needed cleaning two weeks ago. And let's get to learning together. And today I'm going to help you become more aware of your unique stress patterns and triggers, plus the beneficial process of reflection. I'm also giving insight today to demonstrate how the Enneagram is not just fun table talk, but can also be used to provide insight into the transformation that you need in your relationships and business. This deep dive episode is similar to the amazing sessions available in the second annual Wholehearted Enneagram Summit. And if you haven't heard this yet, this September there's going to be over 20 conversations with Enneagram experts all across the world. And we're going to provide specific and practical steps to help you take self-awareness and create new rhythms to see significant emotional growth. Now, whether you're listening to this episode before September 12th or after, you can learn more about this amazing resource created just for you. You can find all the details in the show notes or at simply wholehearted.com. Okay, it's a free event, so there's no reason why you don't want to sign up. And of course, you'll get some extra perks if you decide to get an all access pass, which is going to be at a special deal before September 12th. If you didn't know this by now, stress, well, it comes in all shapes and sizes. Stress can occur from a job change, financial strain, world events, elections, family issues, and friendships. But for women between certain ages, if you watch for it, you'll see a 28-day pattern. For women, we commonly see an uptake in stress during the lutal phase of our cycle. Simply put, after ovulation and before menstruation begins. Often we call this PMS, and for some of us, the impact is more significant than for others. There's also considerable stress during the nine months of pregnancy and 12 months past giving birth, known as postpartum. But in Enneagram language, these behavior patterns are outlined in Enneagram lines of stress and growth, and these do impact anybody, whether you're female or male or of a certain age. Now, during the Enneagram summit that will be going live September 12th through the 17th, you're going to learn more and find additional resources about these connections, along with brand new information on the Enneagram internal profile, or that's going to be known as the EIP. You're going to even get a sneak peek of Jeff and Beth's McCord's new book, The Content There, in More Than Your Number, as well as a better understanding about the lines depicted on the Enneagram symbol. It's honestly a simple way to engage with the Enneagram and to understand yourself better. But for now, in this episode, I'm going to give you an overview. Of course, if you get that all access pass to the summit, you're going to have a customized worksheet with a visual depiction in the live workshop. The Enneagram lines that are noted on the diagram symbolically represent the direction that you go when you are stressed or when you are walking in healthy spiritual rhythms and living as the Lord's beloved. It's also interesting to note that sometimes I use the understanding of these connections to help identify someone's dominant type when I'm coaching them. Some of my clients have even been mistyped because they're under significant stress and they identify strongly with how their type tends to behave when they are unaware. There's so many factors that can contribute to the fact that you maybe act and behave or even look more like your stress than your dominant type. Because here's the deal: you are more than your number. So you might identify closely with the behavior reflected in your type's line of growth or even your Enneagram wings. Clear back in March 2020, my whole family made a quick weekend trip to Colorado Springs to stay with friends and attend a conference. Now, little did we know that this was going to be the weekend the entire world was going to shut down. It was surreal, of course, because at the turn of events, it turned out that my husband, Spencer, was going to drive our van back home, but the kids and I were going to stay a few extra days and rent a vehicle to make the trip back to Kansas City. Now you have to understand, I have driven Highway 70, the route between Kansas City and Colorado Springs, a hundred times. Truly, I'm not exaggerating, because we've lived here in Kansas City for over 13 years, but most of my family still lives in Colorado Springs. And plus, being a seven and always up for an adventure, I love driving the kids out there solo. Just sometimes needed to pick up and go. But this time, back in March of 2020, I had a brilliant idea to leave a little bit later in the afternoon. And I was hoping my kids, even though they're a little bit older, would maybe fall asleep if we hit nine or ten at night. Honestly, during this trip, the weather was perfect, everything else seemed to be working in our favor, so I didn't even bother setting the GPS on my phone because, like I said, I've driven this route many, many times. I practically had it memorized. Well, turns out the drive home was a little bit unsettling. It was mostly because the world had gone a little crazy, everyone was fearful. I would stop at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, and it would be out of toilet paper. But across the street, there would be a solid line of 30 cars in the drive-thru at McDonald's. There was a few things that were happening, and as I was driving home, I really had to shake off my tiredness and the crazy of what was going around me as I ended up heading west on the freeway. Now, at this point, the kids were sleeping peacefully. I was listening to an audiobook. Little shout out to Donald Miller Story Brand. I was listening to it at the time. And I began to notice as I was tuning in and out of the book, signs counting down the miles towards Lyman, as in Lyman, Colorado. And suddenly it registered. At that moment, in the middle of the night, reality hit me. I had gone about 45 miles in the wrong direction. Now you can imagine my horror, my dismay, the anxiety that was overwhelming me. Because once I turned my GPS back on, like I should have in the first place, I wasn't going to be making it home till way past 2 a.m. Now here's the point of me telling this story. I knew the direction I needed to go. The route was super familiar to me. Really, I knew it practically like the back of my hand. And there were signs along the way, but I wasn't paying attention. I sort of got cocky, if I'm honest. And, you know, there was maybe stress, sleepiness, and the chakra of current events. But I didn't have my safeguard in place, i.e. the GPS, to make sure I kept going in the right direction. Now, friend, when you use the Enneagram the right way, it's this kind of insight that the Enneagram can give you. Instead of just learning about what stress and growth look like for you, you can use the Enneagram insight as a GPS to keep you going in the right direction. You gotta turn it on, use it, and read the signs frequently. Okay, I would love to say that I have never gone the wrong direction again. And I'm embarrassed to admit that I did the same exact thing at the same exact exit the following November. Yes, you think I would have learned the first time, but I can now assure you one thing. I use my GPS and I double-check the signs. So when I'm supposed to be going west, I'm going west. When I'm supposed to be going east, I'm going east. Friend, you may not feel like you are in a stressful season of life. Maybe things are pretty easygoing, and you may even be tempted to not utilize the information that you learn about your dominant personality. But the Enneagram is here to help you and to support you whether you are stressed out or not. You're human and you're gonna slip up and go the wrong direction sometimes. So why not use the gift of self-awareness and practical guidance that I'm gonna offer you today so you can turn the car around and head the right way. Now, I thought for today I would give you a rundown of the lines of stress and growth for each type and give a little summary about what it might look like for your type. So if you're type eight, you go to the low side of the five when you're stressed. This might look like withdrawing and observing, becoming secretive when feeling threatened, yet detaching from your emotions to gain more knowledge. But when you're intentional with self-awareness and your regulation rhythms, you can go to the healthy side of the two. You are more open-minded, thoughtful, and compassionate as you plow a path for others instead of through others. And you'll also become more transparent and trusting. For the type 9, you go to the low side of the six when you're stressed. This looks like increased levels of anxiety and worst-case scenario thinking, causing you to become more irritable, frustrated, and defensive. But when you're intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you go to the healthy side of the three. You're more confident, energetic, and assertive, and you see what you desire that actually comes from showing up with your honest thoughts and opinions. Now, if you're type one, you go to the low side of the four when you're stressed. This might look like becoming resentful and indignant that others are not fulfilling or meeting expectations, and the anger you've repressed becomes depression. But when you're intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you'll go to the healthy side of the seven, which creates a more self-accepting heart, creating enthusiasm for life, and more spontaneous, joyful, and optimistic viewpoint. For the type two, you'll go to the low side of the eight when you're stressed. You might have surprising bursts of irritability, defensiveness, and aggressive behavior, maybe even blame shifting and only seeing yourself in a positive light. As a two, when you're intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you'll go to the healthy side of the four. You'll become more nurturing and compassionate with yourself, growing in awareness of your emotions, and becoming more forthright about your needs. If you're a type three, you're going to go to the low side of the nine when you're stressed. You might be typically driven and ambitious, but under stress, you become disengaged, indifferent, and you begin to numb out, which may cause you to feel like you need to merge with others and blend in with conventional norms. When a three is intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you'll go to the healthy side of the six, focusing on others' success and well-being, while learning to identify your feelings and reveal your true self. If you're an Enneagram type four, you're going to go to the low side of the two when you're stressed. You become clingy, overly involved, and manipulate others to create a sense of belonging. You may even begin to believe that if you can gain the attention of others, your emptiness and loneliness will go away. As a four, when you're intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you'll go to the healthy side of the one. You'll become more balanced, objective, and focus on principles instead of just feelings. And this will lead to greater productivity and disciplined behavior. For the Enneagram type five, you'll go to the low side of the seven when you're stressed, and you become more scattered, you'll overcommit to too many projects, and even become unfocused with the task at hand. Now, as a five, when you're intentional with self-awareness and implement regulation rhythms, you get to go to the healthy side of the eight. You're trusting your instincts and becoming more assertive and decisive, putting your well-thought-out plans into action. Yay! For the Enneagram type six, you'll go to the low side of the three when stress, and you think that you're the only one who can see all the possible scenarios, while staying busy so you can avoid anxious thoughts and feelings. But when you're intentional with self-awareness and regulation rhythms, you're going to go to the healthy side of the nine, allowing your mind to slow down, take life a little less seriously, and relax, fully enjoying the moment without fear of the future. For the type seven, you'll be going to the low side of the one when you're stressed. You'll lose your carefree outlook, focus on imperfections, and hyper focus on correcting what needs to be fixed. You begin to blame others for the limitations you are experiencing or for preventing your fun. As a seven, though, when you're intentional with self-awareness and implement regulation rhythms, you get to go to the healthy side of the five. You'll grow in wisdom and discipline, which ultimately leads you to getting intentional with your priorities and relationships. Now, while it's true that taking such a close look at the stress lines can feel intimidating and even frustrating, be encouraged that there's also a growth point for you. When I work with my small group coaching or one-on-one coaching clients, we spend a lot of time on this insight. In fact, we go back and revisit it again and again because there's so much to learn about yourself and it empowers the growth that you really want to see. First, if I was coaching you, you would learn how to identify the behaviors, the things that you do to cope with the stress, or just come out sideways when you're stressed. And if you were my client, I would ask you questions like, what does it look like when you take on the low side of the stress point? What triggered your reaction? Looking back, how would it have played out differently if you had responded instead of reacted? We would sort through a few more questions specific to your situation. But there is one more thing to consider. Often your stress is an issue not because you are stressed, but because you've kept in the pressure for so long. Your emotions begin to come out sideways. In short, you react instead of respond, not allowing yourself the space to self-regulate and regroup. First of all, I I've hinted at this already, but think about this for one extra second or two. Reaction is automatic. Response is chosen. When stressed, you default to automatic patterns driven by emotions or irrational thinking. It's purely reactional. But when you utilize self-awareness, like the kind you find in the Enneagram insights, you can partner with the Holy Spirit, who can provide you with the fruit of the spirit, one of which is self-control, or I like to say sometimes self-government. And this helps bring you out of automatic patterns and into a response that you choose. The goal here, whether it's making business decisions, interacting with our spouse, leading our kids, leading an organization, is to learn how to respond even in times of stress. In my coaching programs, you're going to be able to learn specifics about your personality, but for now, think about a light system for stress like this. Okay, there's red, blue, and green. Okay, I know here in the US, our light system is red, yellow, green. But for this emotional light system, it's red, blue, green. And it's just like that in that order. If you're gonna look at it in a linear fashion, it's red, blue, green. Blue in the middle, red, and green on the other ends. Now, blue for today's light system, blue means you're running slow. You're underwhelmed, tired, borned, zoned out, maybe numbing out, shut down, and you're sad. Now on the opposite side is red. Red is you need to stop, you're overwhelmed, anxious, perhaps you're yelling, your heart is pounding, you're losing sleep, and you're angry, mad, frustrated. In the middle between these extremes is green. You're good to go, you're calm, you're happy, you're relaxed, focused, you can learn, grow, connect, and listen. Now the goal here, and again, what I use with my clients is to check in regularly to evaluate if your body is running too fast, too slow, or just right using these three zones. Blue and red are obviously states of stress, but I really do believe that you can live more frequently in the green center when you're intentionally staying in step with the spirit by getting in the word every day, using contemplative practice, prayer, and just even being more mindful. I encourage you to try out the light visuals and begin to evaluate what triggers your behaviors to red or blue. You could do this in the morning, you could do this in the evening as you reflect on your day. But these are really helpful, just to at least identify where you're at. Now, the self-check is great. It's good to identify. This is called a self-check in and it creates a pause. And again, we're evaluating are you over or underwhelm? And here's specific skills to get back to green because we don't want to stay in the red or the blue. We want to get back to green. When you're in that blue zone, really the underwhelmed, sad, disappointed, maybe even depression comes up. That word depression maybe describes it. You might need more gross motor movements, an increased sensory input, and even a boost of energy. This can come from working out, cooking really aromatic foods, doing bigger movements, something that kind of gets your heart pumping and your the inertia happening for your body. Now, if you're in the red zone, you might need more deep breathing, grounding exercises like yoga, something slow, maybe decreased sensory input. Maybe you use some oils like lavender, anything that's really calming, maybe a quiet room, basically anything that will help calm the body and mind together. Now, if we were having a coaching session, you and I would walk through specific circumstances, again, whether it's past or present, and we would put this knowledge into action into practice. Of course, accountability as well. And in addition to these regulation activities, we also dive into contemplative practice specific for your Enneagram personality. Now, if you hear this word contemplative and you're like, contemplative what? In episode 254, just a little bit back, I share a bit about soul care and contemplative practice. I even spell out how I utilize it. But also something really exciting. If you join us for the whole hearted Enneagram Summit, I actually have two special sessions doing a deep dive on this topic. I'm so excited to share it. One of the sessions is with Lissy Clark, and she is the voice behind the Contemplative at Home podcast, and she actually guides us through a 15-minute practice. It was so amazing. And I'm talking about in the past because we recorded it a little while ago. It was incredible. And man, captured a lot of goodness that I can't wait for you to watch. Now, all of this information, this whole idea of stress and growth and contumblative practice and regulation and responding instead of reacting. Is this helpful? I really hope that you utilize this information and you begin to put it into practice. And if you find it helpful, well, friend, I guarantee that you're gonna be blown away at what you're gonna learn during the second annual wholehearted Enneagram Summit. All the sessions are truly phenomenal and they're gonna provide a detailed deep dive into your personality type. The speakers, the coaches and teachers, they're gonna provide insights that will guide you on the path to spiritual growth and health. And plus, like I mentioned, if you get that all access pass, you're gonna grow your toolbox with resources to help you find more time to do what you love and to keep you thriving. Now, next week, I'm gonna be sharing a special VIP session conversation with fellow Christian Enneagram coach Kim Eddy. We do a deep dive on the Enneagram topic about something I'm very passionate about. Well, we're both very passionate about it. And it's called Free to Be Yourself, a conversation about Christian overlays. Which, if you're not 100% certain about what I mean in the term overlay, an overlay can make a person feel like they're supposed to show up at, say, church in a certain way, even if it's contrary or not true to their personality type, or in this case, Enneagram type. Friend, that conversation was so, so good. You are going to love it. I can't wait for you to tune in. So until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, his purpose, and plans for the wholehearted life you desire.
