Episode 005: Self Love with Vera Wilhelmsen

I sat down with Vera Wilhelmsen to discuss how she healed herself of chronic pain and illness through Ayurveda and going no contact with. toxic family. Please follow her on Instagram @verawilhelmsen and subscribe to her YouTube Channel at Vera Wilhelmsen or check her website verawilhelmsen.com

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Transcript

Vera.

Hello. Hello. Can you hear me? Hi, I can hear you. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, good. How are you? He looks so cute and pink.

I am loving, right. It's the only pink thing around me, I think. Um, thank you so much. Well, how was your day then? Oh, excuse me. I just ate really quickly.

It's been good. It's been good. I was just talking to a Norwegian lady. She had like, seen all my videos and she wanted to like talk to me. And she said like, you're like, you'll choose to world. And like you're telling young people like how to do things and yeah, it took me like 50 years to figure it out.

And yeah. So that's really nice. Yeah. That's amazing. I'm so glad you got to have that conversation because those things mean. So much when you hear that you're making a difference. Yeah. Yeah. Like someone like sees what you're trying to do and they're like fully see you. And it's so nice. It is so nice.

And what you're doing is so important because aye, aye. How old are you? Can I ask that? Yeah, 28. So can you see him? Yeah. We've talked about this before, maybe in messages or comments or something, you seem, you act and look younger, which is a good thing. So I've heard, but yeah, but I think, yeah, I think what I mean by that is a lot of younger people could totally relate to you and.

Feel like you're their peer also, like you've got the maturity and the years behind and yeah. But also you're very relatable to younger people. So yeah, maybe the listen to me then.

Right. It's so important. Like how important is it that we hear these things when we're younger, too? To make a break sooner so that we can get on top of things earlier. Yeah. Because when we're younger, we are all isolated, but we're all suffering from the same things. And with. Oh, thank you. It's us. And no one talks about it and no one like, looks at the system at all.

So yeah, it's makes me really, really frustrated. Yeah. I, I feel you. I feel you. I think, um, I've been there too. I am there at times, you know, at times it's just like, it gets a little overwhelming and, um, yeah. You know, that's the thing that we don't have to, we don't have to like change everything ourselves.

We just got to do our part and we're already doing it. A lot when we're just healing ourselves, focusing on breaking our own patterns that will like have an impact on like generations to come. So it's yeah. If everyone just focused on themselves, we would heal the entire world. So, yeah, I totally agree.

Yeah. I'm with you there. Um, so Vera Wilhelmsen am I saying that correct? Yeah.

So, you know, region enrich and I say we'll help sun. So it's just like straight forward. Yeah. Yeah. I'm too American. You know? Yeah. I wish I sometimes had like a name that worked super well in English, but it already works pretty well. So it's fine. It's a good name. I want to say it with an accent, but I don't want to offend anyone.

So

I want to use the accent so badly. Um, what does that sound like with the accent? The Hudson. Yeah, it's pretty accurate. It sounds like an American saying in a region there. No offense. I'm not offended. That's pretty accurate, but there is an accent. You can hear it. Yeah. Okay. You'll have to teach me. No, I'm just kidding.

It's not your job.

So I want to have a little bit of your story on the podcast if that's okay. Just to, yeah. Give us a little bit of your background and just, you don't have to give the whole thing. Just give the highlights if you want, whatever you're comfortable sharing, but I'd love to hear how things. Do you need a prompt?

Are you, are you good? Do you know where to start? I think I have like a short version. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so long story short, uh, grew up in a psychological abuse, but. Didn't know, didn't realize, thought it was me, even therapists were like saying, but you are a part of this communication problem as well. Uh, and what ended up with like this kind of abuse, like it accumulates the weight over time, you know, because nothing gets resolved.

So you're just adding and adding and adding. Uh, and yeah, after a while I of course got chronically ill at like 16 and onwards. I had so much skin problems and a lot of inflammation, uh, Like tendonitis, a lot of pain in my arms, et cetera. Andat 20 started getting like really bad digestive problems, pain.

This was when I started university. That's 23 full collapse bed bound for three years too sound sensitive to if someone like used cutlery two routes away, the room would like spin and it was, it was like piercing and yeah, lost a lot of weight. It was going really downhill. The doctors couldn't help me.

Didn't really listen to me. And I realized I kind of had to figure this out on my own. After a while I. Yeah, no one was like giving me answers. No one was coming to rescue me. And I, eventually I, on a podcast I heard about Ayerveda, which is the traditional health system of India. And it's like very centered on digestion, which is what I kind of feel was the root cause to all of this.

And. They really helped me with my digestion and that gave me so much more energy. And when I had that energy back, that's when I, my mind actually became so much clearer when my digestion became better. And that's when, like all of these memories from my childhood began popping up in my mind, repressed memories.

So I think it's like, my mind was like, ready to digest things because my body was like functioning better. And so a few months after I recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome, that's when I went no contact with my family of origin. Yeah. And after that, this was, uh, last year, 2019. And after that, I've just been, uh, Yeah, just working on gaining financial independence for the first time in my life.

Just suddenly being thrown into adulthood and doing things on my own and also just healing, healing, healing, like writing down all these memories, feeling the feelings like processing. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's so much it's, it's so much. Yeah, I think it's so relatable to so many people too, because weirdly I think a lot of us go through these kinds of things and we have no idea what's happening to us when you were saying 23.

I'm like, I remember I learned fortunately, no, I was bedridden at 23 also. And. Really? Yeah. I was know that. Yeah. I didn't leave my house for like two years and yeah, it was. Yeah. So that really is like, Oh, I'm yeah. I'm with you there. Um, I think our bodies it's, you know, they're so inflamed, they're so inflamed from toxic stress of abuse and, um, it's like, that's what we're focused on.

All of a sudden, right. Is the physical. And why we can't get better and why we feel like shit and really have, yeah, we don't, until we can start feeling better, we don't, there's no room to process the old trauma. Really. Yeah. Yeah, so that really I can relate in so many ways. Yeah. We're like think we're dying and so focused on, um, physical symptoms and the tests.

And the doctor said like, there's something wrong. There's like a, maybe it's like a rare disease or something. And we can't even begin to think about,

especially like me. I had tried. At 16 to like solve everything in therapy. Like my family was even dragged into family therapy, but of course this only made things worse for me. I was like laughed at mocked invalidated. Uh, and of course punished for this humiliation. So, sorry. Thank you. And, but I had so much belief and trust in authority and in, um, therapists and psychologists, I thought.

Okay. So if they think I'm sensitive to, then it must be true, right. If they don't see anything wrong. Maybe it's all in my head. So I had tried, I'd already tried and I was just so confused about everything and it's so frustrating to think about. Because now I know. Yeah. People like you, um, we've been through the same thing and like, we were all going through it.

Uh, different places suddenly Globe was the same and we were all alone, but this is the pattern in society. Yeah. Kids are going through this right now. Yeah. It's an epidemic for sure. And. If, if I, yeah, I think if I had only had access to, and that was the other thing, like information was so controlled in my household.

We, we weren't allowed to have the internet. Like, it was just very, you know, controlled. And, but I can see how, if I had had access to this kind of information and been able to, you know, connect the dots. And connect with someone and just see, okay. There, I'm not the only one, like how it could have changed my life so much earlier.

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. So I think Instagram, thank you. I think Instagram is very great because like teenagers and young adults or anyone in any age, that's still trapped in abuse, Ken, like. Randomly come across, can catalyze spark something that eventually gets them out of there. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. For sure.

Um, You were saying, when you were talking about, you went to see a psychologist at 16 or maybe several, I don't know. Um, that we're you feeling like you needed to fix the problem between you and your family? Like, did you think there was something wrong with you or what was going on there or were you certain that there was something, it was all your family and that, um, you know, you needed somebody to hear you and validate you.

I've definitely like known from an early age that something was deeply wrong and weird. And that my parents weren't like the other parents and that at our house, it wasn't the same at the other kid's house. But over time it was more and more angled towards me that I was frail, sensitive, couldn't take a joke.

Uh, I was always made fun of when I got angry. So of course I like stopped expressing anger. And so when I was 15, 16, I just, I kind of consider it the lowest point of my life. Like even worse than when I was bed-bound, because it was like mentally worse at that time. I just felt so tired and drained. And like, it was like a struggle to just breathe and walk and to keep up in school.

It was impossible and I, no one liked me. Like no one really liked me in the entire world. Not my parents, not my peers. And. I was just, "what's the point in living," you know, because no one loves me. No one likes me. So why am I here? Yeah, so I was, I actually stopped eating, uh, in protest because that was all I had left.

All I had left any control over and eventually that got me to like a child psychiatrist. Oh, okay. Okay. Wow. I see. That makes sense. Oh, I'm so sorry. Like, and I'm sure that, that, Oh goodness. Do you think that the, that, that was just a perception that no one liked you? Or were you feeling like. Do you, did you, do you remember anyone being around and like trying to connect with you and it just wasn't.

I don't know. I did have, uh, some good friends. Uh, I was actually pretty lucky to be in like a girl -- group of girls in middle school, which yeah. Makes survival so much easier. Yeah. And some of them are like really good people and still are, but some were very toxic. So it was like very like shaky foundation there.

It was very up and down, but I didn't feel loved by anyone and seen like, you know, all kids need that like someone to look at them with those sparkly eyes. Like you are like, you are wanted, you are loved and you're a gift. And like no one had ever looked at me like when I was just like, ugh, and most of my peers for a rejecting me, but I feel like.

I kind of expected them to also, so it was kind of like a vicious cycle there. It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And when you are super insecure and don't want to speak and like kids are like weirded out by that and like pull away when you are super insecure. So yeah, it's a cycle. So that was kind of, I think, in a round about way of trying to get at, like, I wonder if it was just a, yeah.

A vicious cycle that was happening and, um, I think sometimes too when we feel that way. We're yeah. We project that onto other people and then that's just the cycle thats happening or we don't, we can't accept anything either. Like anything else? Yeah. We're like weirded out when people like us. So we don't trust it.

No, it's like, this is a trap. Yeah, because it can be a trap. I used to wonder why, like, people like my mom would be buying me gifts. Like, what is this about? Cause I just didn't and I think that's why I'm just not, uh, you know, that's not one of my love languages. It's like getting gifts what's coming. Yeah.

Yeah. Gifts used to be a war zone. So yeah, no wonder you didn't feel safe. With gifts. Yeah. But yeah, I kind of trailed off there, but I definitely thought that I was very sensitive, frail, and there was something wrong with me and that all the, like every, all the other kids could handle the pressure. I couldn't, I was.

If someone like teased me, I thought that everyone else were like brushing it off, but I was hurt. Yeah. And you know, the psychologists, most of them, they don't have the tools to recognize this kind of hidden abuse. So of course, when my parents came in, they were like, so worried about Vera, we've done everything.

I don't know what to do. And maybe even some crocodile tears in there. And like the conclusion of all those years of therapy was, uh, you just need to. Say more like hi to Vera in the hallways and just smile more to her. That's all that will fix everything. So they actually did this, but didn't kind of like a mocking way, like looked at me with like I'm saying hi, so yeah.

Oh, it just made it worse. It just gave them one more stick to beat me with, you know? Yeah. I'm sorry. I, the more I hear like stories of seeing psychologists and psychiatrists, I'm like, man, I got really lucky with mine. Like I, I left home at 30 and started seeing a therapist right away because I psychology was like bad in my household.

Like that's we weren't allowed because we were very religious and yeah. So it was like the first thing I did was go find a psychologist and I ended up staying with him off and on for like seven years. He was Whoa. Good for me. And I'm like, now that I hear all these stories, I'm like, I think I got really, really lucky.

That's amazing. Yeah, there are good ones out there. There are, but you have to be careful. Yeah, you have to, um, be careful not to stay too long in the wrong with the wrong one. I actually had a very good one this past year, but she has changed jobs. So I'm getting a new one, but yeah, I'm a little skeptical.

I'm like, Oh no, I'm going to have to defend myself all over again. But. I know, I will never like stay. I will just walk out if it's yeah. Like it has been before. That's all, I guess I realized all of these things. I see the patterns then. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of ran into some of that when I tried to change psychologists or was asked to see it as someone who was specialized in EMDR.

Um, I went to see this person. And it was just like, after the second appointment, I just didn't go back. I was like, no, this isn't, this feels weird. This feels icky. Yeah. Listen to that gut feeling. It's always right. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So what, when did you start your YouTube channel officially? I'm trying to remember how long I've been following you, but.

Um, I think it was six months ago now. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I, so what made you, what what's what's um, pushing you to do this? Because it does, to me, it doesn't feel like revenge. It feels like you really, really want to help people. And that's, that's really good because yeah. Sometimes I am afraid that people see, like, she's, she's out to get revenge.

She's being child childish or petty, but I know that's just what my family thinks so I don't take their opinions very seriously. Right. But, uh, yeah, I've always like when I was 16 during that shitty time. Yeah. Uh, I spent a lot of time on YouTube and I really fell in love with YouTube and like, Oh one day I will be on YouTube myself.

And I actually met, I had a YouTube channel back then and I made, uh, Sims videos. Like if, you know, but the Sims, like the Sims two, I would make like fairy tales and put music, like, yeah, it was really fun, but. And then I like deleted the channel because yeah. You know, like when, like maybe you've experienced this too, if you did like an art project when you were smaller.

And at first you're like really excited, but then like the shame creeps in and like slowly ruins it. And that's what happened with that channel. And I deleted it. Oh man. Do you still have those videos? Yeah. And I looked back at them and like, I didn't have to be ashamed of this good cop somewhere. Yeah. I inserted a clip in one of my YouTube videos now it's like a flashback

that's so yeah, I think I'll upload more. Oh, that's amazing. I'll have to go check it out for sure. Yeah. Oh, so cool. Um, so you're not, you're no contact with your family. How, how did the ask how that went? Um, or are you not sharing? That's totally fine. Yeah. I can sh I am comfortable sharing, so no, I've just started well, yeah, it's usually a long drawn-out process.

Yeah, I'll keep it short. Um, Like I in February, 2019, that's when I like, got so much more energy back, felt a lot better. And I went no contact in like the beginning of June same year. So, and what happened in those months is that I was just feeling so much better, but then symptoms became. Began to return only when I was around my parents.

Yeah. That's when I would get headaches. Like felt kind of like this tendonitis pain again, but then it's like passed. So I began to like, it began to really Dawn on me and it was like, lightning struck me that, Oh, this is why I got sick because I hadn't yet realized that the fatigue was a result of the. Um, emotional load, basically.

Yeah. And that's when I left was like "oh" and I didn't yet know what narcissism was. I didn't get no, what no contact was, but I just needed, I just needed to do that. But like a few days, or at the same time I did, it was when I like discovered. All these books and I'm really grateful for, I have a Kindle and I've.

Discovered so many books I wouldn't have otherwise because they like popped up on the recommended page and yeah, that was wow. I really needed that. Just like a book on toxic parents. And then I just read like six books in like a week or something. I was just going down the rabbit hole. And at first I said, I need a break.

Two weeks break. Uh, I moved out and after the two weeks I went back for dinner and then my mom like insulted me like 27 times in 30 minutes. And I was like, okay. And I got the horrible headache and I couldn't sleep that night. I slept for like three hours. So she like really upset my nervous system.

Yeah. And that's when I realized, wow, I have to go no contact. Wow. And so what I did for you good for you. Yeah.

Amazing how, yeah. It is amazing how it happens. And sometimes it's it's before we really know what's actually gone on, but we just know we can't do it anymore. And. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I couldn't stay kind of, yeah. I didn't have anything figured out. Yeah. I love that.

I love talking about this part of it, because I think this is the part where people get stuck. I would love it if you'd share like what you did to, to, to leave. Yeah. Like the realization that, uh, the known was more dangerous than the unknown because of this strong physical symptoms that really like lit a fire.

So at first I stayed, I just biked, took my bike, put my like duvet, like in a blue Ikea bag and just biked back the backpack and stayed there for one and a half weeks until I found an apartment to rent. And I didn't yet have a job, but I, um, was on this like, um, government sick, sick person thing. It was, it wasn't a lot, but I knew that I knew that I could like survive.

Yeah. And that it would like uphold financial independence. And that felt like such a shield towards them, such a barrier that no matter what I can rent, I can stay here. They can't hold any financial, like pull any financial strings. So, um, I know that that isn't an option for everyone, so I'm very grateful.

Yeah. I understand. It works like that in Norway. Yeah. Yeah. I've been in that same, same position. So I understand that it's like, I've got enough to pay rent somewhere and that's yeah. Maybe, maybe some ramen noodles once in a while, but yeah. Yeah. Um, but then you just know you're safe. There's this foundation of safety there.

But I was really afraid that I would get, so, uh, they got sick again and fatigued and like that I wouldn't be able to live on my own and that it would have to move in, but like when I wasn't around them anymore, I just got more and more energy and better and better, better. So isn't that how it goes. Yeah. Yeah. So I always tell people that after you move off to.

Yeah, there is stress in that phase, but just being, not being abused every day will save you so much energy. It's insane. We've, we're so used to it that we don't even realize how it's like to be without it, but it's like, you can suddenly breathe and feel the sunshine and yeah. Oh, true. That's so terrible. I love, I love that.

Uh, you have that experience that you did it that way, because I think that is where a lot of people get stuck. They're like, well, how will I even do this? And, you know, even if you don't have some kind of assistance or because a lot of us are being either financially abused, Or we're physically unwell and we were not able to work and, or both.

Yeah, yeah. Both. Yeah. It is often both. And if you can find some way, that's what I highly, you know, push for anyone. If you can find some way of just getting out to like. Anyway, even if it's for, you know, a week or whatever, you're going to think really clearly to be able to know what the next move is for you.

And it will work out and your health will probably be better and get better and your strength will improve. So, Yeah. And you, you have an, we have, all of us have probably been told that we are frail, et cetera, et cetera. And that is kind of holding us back as well, but we actually aren't, we can handle our own apartments houses, finances, like you just have to do it and see what happens.

It builds a lot of confidence to learn these things and you learn them very quickly when you have to. So yeah, just take the plunge. Totally. Yeah. Yeah, totally agree. It's true. And we are told, I was told that constantly that I wasn't, I wouldn't survive on my own. Yeah. You need to stay here and let us make all your decisions.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh my God.

And I think in a way, that's why it is confusing for people because they're, it's like, okay, they care about me, I guess, like, right. Like that's why, that's why they're saying, but it feels weird. It doesn't feel good, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's when you know, it's control and not love. Exactly. And I'm so, so glad that you.

You show that and you, you express that and you, you help people see that because man, if I had had someone like you to follow or, or watch or read when I was younger, it would have just been like, Oh, okay. Like, yeah, thank you. That's kind of what I want to give because I had to like create a ladder out of nothing and nowhere.

And I did, and I would just want to give people the steps. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thanks. So what's next for you?

Well, I've just started coaching. Yes. Just throwing it that out there, but then I'm also thank you. And I'm also, um, Taking classes and, um, um, working towards becoming an Ayurvedic practitioner. Wonderful. But that will take a few years, right. So yeah, my dream is like to be, are you ready? Practitioner, coach, author.

Utuber. Yeah, and you're doing it. Thank you. You are. It's so interesting because I feel like a lot of us who end up doing this work, we have like a specialized area that we feel like helped us move, take those steps and start feeling better. And like, you know, you've got the digestive thing and you know, and the chronic 

pain too. It's all kind of tied together. I think we all have chronic pain with. Yeah. Um, and we all have these things that really, really worked for us. And I, I love that those things get coupled together with the coaching too, because it's going to help people who are like, I have that issue too, like, and I can feel better.

Yeah. Multiple areas. Yeah. Yeah, it's all so connected and it's great that there are so many like coaches and people out there with like slightly different angles so that people can like find someone that really like fits exactly what their situation is. So yeah, the more, the better. Yeah, it's true. It's as much as we do, like you were expressing earlier on, like, we do feel like we're alone.

It's there are so many of us that have experiences that are so similar to us and it's, you know, it's. It's way more than we could even imagine I think at times, and there are more people going through things a lot, like what we've been through almost exactly what we've been through and yes, it's not, there's not going to be a shortage of people who need to hear it.

Yeah. And when you just connect with someone who knows, like what, what you're going through slash have been through, it's such a relief and. That belief that there's something wrong with you and you're weird some way or frail. It just starts to like disintegrate when you see like, this is like a larger pattern in society as it's the best.

Yeah, totally. It totally because I mean, as much as I think when we've been, I don't know if you've experienced this, but when you're going through those things, like your life looks pretty normal mine did, pretty normal from the outside. Like nobody would have known that I was basically a prisoner in my parents' home.

Like other than the fact that it was a little weird that I was living there until I was like 30, but nobody would have guessed that I was living like a prisoner. And I think we worry about what other people think of us so much. Like we're not going to reach out for help and be like, I am, my life feels like it's just like not okay.

I definitely felt like I wasn't, I was a prisoner too, but I. Couldn't like, um, describe it that way. I didn't like have the words at the time, but it felt so wrong and I felt so trapped. And so. Like small beaten down. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And I think we worry so much about what people are thinking of us that we try to look really, really good.

Yeah. I mean, I, yeah. Yeah, it looked very normal for me as well. And it looked very good actually. Yeah. I was doing well in school and I was this, I was playing the cello. And do you still play so serious? No, I left it at my parents' house is a big F you're gonna store this for me. Yeah, you're gonna look at this every day and maybe you'll realize what you've done.

Yeah. Yeah. I did that with a lot of my paintings. Like it just all got left there and there are some large paintings that they had to either throw them out or leave them. So that was up to them, whatever. Yeah. Either way they have to deal with it and have to think about things. Yeah. Yeah, which I don't think that they do, unfortunately.

Yeah. I know. I don't think it worked for me.

So I'm like, Oh, this instrument is really expensive. Like I'll never get another one, but I'm like, if it's meant to be, I'll get my hands on another cello. But right now I have no, I don't feel like it at all. So yeah, it was just so serious. Oh, it wasn't fun. Yeah. Yeah, no, I can understand that I've walked away from certain things too, that were like my thing.

And then I'm starting to come back to some things now, like I walked away from photography altogether and that's coming back for me. Like it's. Yeah. I saw that I'm so happy for you. It's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. I think those things do come back after a while and then you can really make it yours again and make it what you want to make it.

Yeah. You have to like reconnect with it on like, um, healthy foundation and. Your terms. So I think that's like the video making that thing for me. And also writing. Yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Writing too. That was always a hard one. Cause that was why my family like literally stopped, you know, they basically told me they didn't want me in their lives anymore because I wrote.

The truth,

what a loss.

I told them I wasn't going to stop, but I did for a while, you know, a couple of years. And that's understandable. Yeah. It just happens that way. And we leave parts of ourselves behind so we can heal the parts that. Are foundational to who we are and we can build those things back up. Yeah. I believe it all happens in like perfect timing.

Totally. And maybe when you stopped riding, you were like integrating and healing other things. So yeah, definitely. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it. Yeah. So. Uh, the healing process, it's a tearing down and a building back up. Oh yeah. Uh, also one more thing about, yeah, yeah. Things. Look, I definitely felt like if, if I broke down and became sick or like I did anyway, but like, if, if.

If it was my fault that there were cracks in the facade, I felt like a snitch. I felt like I was telling on my parents. I felt so dirty. I didn't want to like be that person who, yeah, basically what I'm doing now.

I felt like I was betraying them. If I. Told the full truth to the therapists, but I didn't have the words anyway. So yeah, I, yeah. Yes. I'm I think we all feel that way. It's a weird place to be. It's like, I feel compelled to say, because I like you probably, like, I'm not the only one and if somebody needs to hear this, like, No, I'm not doing this because I need to air dirty laundry or anything like that.

It's just, I feel compelled to tell my story because there's somebody else out there who can relate to it and it might help somebody. Yeah. I just really feel like. Like sharing that ladder of how I did things so that, because I always have like the past me in mind for every video video I make like, yeah.

If, if I reach someone who is where I used to be, like, I can make their journey easier. Yeah. Which makes you a great coach. Already. Thank you. But of course I. I also feel anger. And sometimes I wonder if I am being childish and seeking revenge, but I think it would have looked very differently if I was. I think so too.

It's just, it's just the truth. And I tell it in like a useful way with like steps and like recipes for things and tools. Yeah. Yeah. I can understand that fear and that worry. Definitely. And that's not how you come across to me and I don't think that's how you come across to anyone who follows you and, and gets a lot out of what you're doing.

Yeah. Oh, that's great to hear and we need to hear it. And I, you know, yeah, we do because it's it's as much as we felt alone before we started our healing process, it can be a lonely process doing this work too, because, and I'm putting this out there and I have no idea, like how it's. And some people do, you know, tell you you're being whatever.

And it's like, no, I know myself. And that can even the process too, like knowing yourself to know like what's actually going on

and I have actually not regretted anything I've posted right in. Oh, uh, I've been posting for like a little over a year and I don't have a single regret, so yeah. Trust your instincts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And it's all. Yeah, just trust her instincts. That's a good way to put it. Um, so where can people find, find you?

Where can they watch you and find your offerings? Yeah, it's just in the show notes too. Yeah, it's just Vera Wilhelmsen in one word on Instagram and my website plus.com and on YouTube, I am Vera Wilhelmsen. We'd like to space in between. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Well, we highly recommend anyone. Go check your stuff out and follow you and work with you because you definitely have a good handle on, on.

Taking charge of your life and taking your life back. And that's what we need. Thank you so much. I so appreciate you coming on the show. And like, this is amazing because I feel like I'm not going to have to edit a ton. Like you were so easy.

I do like compliment. I do like to ask, um, is there, what would you like to leave? Like a bit of wisdom for, for everybody as, as we sign off, like, what's one thing you'd like to leave with everyone today who might be going through something similar. Uh,

yeah, I'm just gonna squish, squeeze out some wisdom here. Well, always be yourself and trust your gut. Like it knows it knows some stuff. Yeah. And even if you don't know, just like I had no idea what I was doing, but I just kept moving forward and somewhere along the line, I found my footing. Yeah. Yeah.

That's amazing. I love it. And you're doing such a great job and yeah. Thank you for what you're doing. You too. Thank you. And, um, I'll be seeing you around the gram. Yes around the gram. I feel like such an old person. When I say that, I'm just going to slide in, slide into my DMS. I so appreciate you coming on. Really? This has been such a lovely time. Thank you so much for having me. I just had to make sure I said that. So I don't seem like a douchebag, a little asshole. Yeah. I forgot to say it. So now we're recording again.

You just pull the curtain all the way back because that's what we do. We just expose all, all of it. That would have like haunted me if I didn't say that. Oh, well understandable. And it, you would have been fine if you didn't in my eyes. Yeah. I feel better now. Yeah. I feel so much better now. Thank you so much.

Now I can sleep tonight. Good. Don't want to leap over this stuff. Yeah, well, this has been amazing. Thank you so much, really. And we're going to be chatting. I haven't yet.

I was going to say, but then like, maybe I shouldn't say that, but now you said it didn't want to seem desperate. No, no. There's no, definitely my friend now. Yeah. We're kindred spirits. Yeah. Yes. I see you. I see you. And we all need to hear that. Yeah. All right. This has been a pleasure.

I cut you off. We need just stop this recording. We're ending it. It's over.