Things I Gave Up When I Became A Parent

Parenting comes with sacrifices, but it is a journey filled with love and growth. In this nine-minute episode, I shared three things I gave up when I became a father: Comfort, Opportunities, and Interests.

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Transcript

I find myself in a unique, or should I say, a privileged position of being able to bring my energetic kids to my workplace. I feel incredibly fortunate to be employed by an organization that not only allows, but also embraces the idea of employees bringing their children to work, particularly on days when the workload  is  light. I am filled with gratitude that my office provides ample space for my kids to play and stay occupied while I attend to my tasks for the day.

It was one of those days and as I sat with our three boys during lunch, I found myself silently reflecting on a few questions. Is being a parent truly worth it? Am I making the best decisions for our family's well-being as a father? Am I giving them enough of my time, effort, and support as a responsible father should?

As a responsible parent, it's important to recognize that raising children requires making sacrifices. Parenting demands many trade-offs, compromises, and letting go of certain things. You understand that your life changed when you became a mother or a father, and you care deeply about your children's upbringing. Intentional parenting is about taking on new responsibilities while considering our human limitations such as time and strength, even if it means giving up certain freedoms to fulfill parental expectations adequately.This is a challenge that I understand many parents , including myself, face daily.

And so in this episode of my podcast, I want to share a few things that I believe one has to give up when becoming a parent. I understand that there may be many sacrifices that parents have to make beyond what I will mention here. And so I am drawing from my own experience as a father for the past 12 years, I hope that by sharing these insights, I can offer encouragement to parents like me. It's important to stay faithful to our parental calling and embrace this chapter of our earthly existence without any regrets. So let’s dive in.

Number 1, as parents you have to give up your comfort. The concept of comfort or giving up comfort is beautifully exemplified in the image of my wife and I sleeping in the same bed with our kids. We no longer have the bed to ourselves! We curl up, sleep on one side, and occupy a very small space in our bed to allow them, our kids,  to take much of the bed space. And we don't mind at all. Research says that kids sleep better with their parents around them because they find them, their parents, to be a place of comfort, a place of security. We also know that these moments won’t last for long. Eventually, when our kids grow up, sleeping together won’t be a normal experience for us, and I know for many parents like us

Well, this is just one of several examples that we can think of as parents in terms of the comfort and convenience that we have to give, to give up for the sake of our children. There is discomfort and inconvenience when you become a parent. But it's all worth it because amidst all of it, we ensure the benefit, the welfare, and the comfort of our children. So that’s one, giving up your comfort.

Another thing you have to give up as parents, would be opportunities.We give up certain opportunities in our lives. I have to say no to some career opportunities right now, both in my current job and from other potentially better options. One of the main reasons is that I want to spend more time with my kids. My current work setup lets me bring my kids to the office,  I think I mentioned that at the beginning of this episode, which is super helpful when we don't have house help available.

Having a regular schedule for leaving and returning home from work, lets us make sure we have quality time with our kids, unlike other career opportunities that would take me away from the family or require a lot of my time every day.

I'll admit, it's not an easy decision for me. There are times when I feel a bit down, especially when I see others doing well in their careers. But everyone has their own path to follow, and most of the time, our choices are made for important reasons. It's all part of creating our own unique story, and I believe it's leading to a better outcome. So that’s number two, opportunities.

Number three, as parents you have to give up certain interests. Being a parent has completely transformed my life. It's no longer just about me - now, everything I do revolves around my kids. I've had to adjust how I spend my money and time, and let go of some of my old hobbies in favor of activities that I can enjoy with my little ones.

This shift in my interests has also affected my relationships. I don't get to hang out with friends as much as I used to, and I can't stay out late because I have to be home for my kids. It's a big change, but as a dad, my focus has shifted to new priorities.

It's not always easy, but that's just part of being a parent, which is embracing new priorities while letting go of the old ones. So that’s number three, interests.

Just a recap, the things that I mentioned, I listed, I enumerated, that I believe you have to give up when you become a parent, would be comfort, opportunities, and interests.

Returning to that heartwarming scene I described awhile ago, while having lunch with my kids, I turned to them and asked them with a smile. I asked, ”How was the lunch, guys? Is it yummy?" And their faces lit up as they answered in unison, they said,  "This is the best lunch! Thank you, Tatay!" Hearing those words, “Thank you, Tatay!” filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction, affirming that whatever sacrifices I have made for my kids have been truly worthwhile.

So that’s it for today’s episode. Until next time.