JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.

THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.

SAL: ‘Fraid this is the end of the line for me, folks.

JONATHAN: What do you mean, Sal?

REDGE: Are we to exit the Magical Minivan here?

JONATHAN: We’re out in the middle of the Fanta-SEA, Sal.

SAL: Where you’re headin’?…..You’re gonna need a bigger boat….. Unfortunately, the Magical Minivan is not quite magical enough to keep this adventure afloat.

JONATHAN: Bigger boat?

REDGE: Oh, I love when he does this! It’s like a little riddle!

SAL: If reptilian creatures you seek, this journey is not for the meek.

JONATHAN: I don’t understand.

REDGE: You’ll see, Jonathan! Sal A. Mander and I have something really special in store for this T.A.L.E Tour adventure!

JONATHAN: Can’t wait for another Thrilling and Astounding Lore Expedition!

REDGE: Look, Sal! The waterfall is up ahead.

JONATHAN: A waterfall? Wait, wait, wait. That’s not on the map. Are you sure we’re in the right place?

SAL: The Fanta-SEA hides many secrets within it. All the answers you seek, you’ll find in a minute.

JONATHAN: Ummm, Redge? Are you seeing what I’m seeing?

REDGE: Oh, I am seeing it!

JONATHAN: Could it be?!

REDGE: It’s swimming very fast.

JONATHAN: Its neck is longer than its whole body….

REDGE: Its flippers make perfectly synchronized motions…

JONATHAN: Pushing it swiftly through the water.

REDGE: It’s an…

(A muffled gentle, high screech of the elasmosaurus)

JONATHAN/REDGE: Elasmosaurus!

SAL: This plesiosaur will take you the rest of the way. Through the waterfall, to what time period? I cannot say.

JONATHAN: Is this what we’ve been looking for?

(A downpour of water and another less muffled screech)

CHAZ: Someone seeking passage to the Periodic Era?

JONATHAN: The Periodic Era?!

REDGE: Yes!

CHAZ: Which period? Fantastic? Bombastic? Or the Quotatious?

REDGE: The Quotatious! Please!

CHAZ: Not a problem. Climb aboard!

SAL: Good luck, my friends! I can’t wait to hear how this journey ends!

REDGE: Thank you, Sal!

JONATHAN: Redge? What will we find?

REDGE: Jonathan, I’ve been waiting to take you on this adventure. We’re headed to the Quotatious Period in the Periodic Era. An uncharted land in Once Upon a Time filled with plesiosaurs, pterosaurs, and dinosaurs!

JONATHAN: Did you say dinosaurs?! I LOVE dinosaurs!

REDGE: I know! And you’re quite the expert on them too!

JONATHAN: What will we find? Herds of ankylosaurs patrolling through the plains?

REDGE: Or maybe a wild pack of deinonychus searching for a midday snack?

JONATHAN: Maybe even a gigantic Tyrannosaurus stomping through its territory!

REDGE: Ooooooo! I’m so excited!

CHAZ: You’re just in time for the basket weaving festival, actually.

JONATHAN: The what?

REDGE (delighted): Wait! Did you say basket weaving?!

CHAZ: Yes.

REDGE: And did I hear you correctly? It’s a basket weaving festival?!

CHAZ: That’s correct! The basket weaving festival is well-loved in the Quotatious period. It’s held every year. And I heard this year the Parasaurolophus brass band, Crest Love, is back after their wildly successful Eras tour.

JONATHAN: Parasaurolophus have large crests on their heads that many experts think helped them make trumpeting noises.

REDGE: Is that what the band uses to play or do they have real trumpets and brass instruments?

CHAZ: They use BOTH!

REDGE: This will be even more exciting than I anticipated!

CHAZ: I’ll drop you on the shore right up ahead. That’ll grant you quick access to the Festival. The main entrance is just through those trees. Have a wonderful time!

(A splash and one last whale call)

REDGE: This is just perfect. I can find a basket just in time for the apple harvest in the Folktale Forest AND I can see dinosaurs!!!

JONATHAN: You can never have too many baskets, Redge.

REDGE (very seriously): It’s truly not possible, Jonathan.

(Overhead they hear calls of pterosaurs.)

JONATHAN (gasps): Look up, Redge! It’s a whole flock of pteranodons (teh-RAN-oh-dons) flying by!

REDGE: Incredible! It feels as if we’ve arrived on some sort of alien planet. Even the trees look different. They’re taller and unusually spikey.

JONATHAN: Oof! It’s much warmer here than the Folktale Forest.

REDGE: Is that a butterfly?

JONATHAN: Indeed it is! Lots of bugs lived during the time of the dinosaurs. Some were around even before dinosaurs appeared.

REDGE: A troop of young dinos! Let’s observe!

TERRIE: Hey Minh! Hey Minh! Tell Kylo what you told me yesterday?

MINH: Don’t start, Terrie.

KYLO: What? What is it?!

REDGE (whispered): What kind of dinos could they be, Jonathan?

TERRIE: You GOTTA hear this, Kylo. Come on, Minh!

JONATHAN (whispered): Kylo looks like a young ankylosaur, Terrie is some sort of pterosaur…

KYLO: Tell me. Tell me!

MINH: You won’t get it.

REDGE (whispered): And what kind is Minh?

TERRIE: Listen to this, Kylo: Minh says the moon has special powers!

(Terrie and Kylo cackle with mean laughter.)

MINH: You don’t understand what I mean.

KYLO: Wait! Like a wizard or something?

TERRIE: Like fairies and unicorns!

MINH: That’s not it.

TERRIE: He said it has “magical, mysterious powers” that control things down here on the land.

KYLO: Watch out, Minh! The moon might get you!

TERRIE (mockingly): Ahh! Ahh! Watch out! The moon’s light! It’s tooooo powerful!

KYLO: It’s beaming you this way and that way. Waaaaaaaatch out!

MINH (unamused): Ha. Ha. Very funny, guys.

TERRIE: We’re just kidding, Minh. Lighten up!

MINH: I’ve gotta go now. I’ve gotta meet up with my herd.

KYLO: Again? Come to the festival with us today!

MINH: Next time. The maiasaura always stick together. They’ll be wondering where I am.

REDGE/JONATHAN (whispered): Ohhhhhhh. Minh’s a maiasaura.

TERRIE: Well, don’t let the moon beam you away!

MINH (to himself): They’ll see. One day, they’ll be glad they have me around!

REDGE: Poor Dino.

JONATHAN: Let’s help him.

REDGE: Right-oh, Jonathan! When we see a friend in need, we jump in to help!

JONATHAN: Hi there!

REDGE: Sorry to intrude.

JONATHAN: We couldn’t help overhearing you and your friends.

MINH: Who are you?

REDGE: I’m Redge, and this is my best friend, Jonathan.

JONATHAN: We’re here visiting from the Folktale Forest.

REDGE: And we think you should know: In Once Upon a Time, there are fairies, wizards, and unicorns that are in fact very magical.

MINH: That’s not the kind of magic that the moon has. It’s different. It’s…

MINH/JONATHAN: Science.

MINH: Yes! It’s hypothesis and research-

JONATHAN: Analysis and conclusions.

MINH: No one here believes me!

REDGE: We believe you.

MINH: Well…thanks.

REDGE: Young dino, would you mind showing us the way to the basket weaving festival?

JONATHAN: We’re new here and could use the guidance.

MINH: Sure thing! We’re not far. Follow me.

JONATHAN: You know, I dreamed of being an astronaut one day and exploring space in a big rocket ship.

MINH: And be among the stars?!

JONATHAN: Yes!

MINH: Me too! No one here understands it, but at night, I map out the stars. By watching them closely, I’ve tracked different clusters.

JONATHAN: Those are constellations! My favorite is Taurus. It looks like a bull.

MINH: With two big horns?!

JONATHAN: That’s the one!

MINH: I’ve seen that one! I follow the stars and see how they shift as time passes by.

JONATHAN: You can track the rotation of the Earth and the seasons that way!

MINH: I just know that learning more will help us dinos in the long run.

REDGE: How very wise our new friend is!

JONATHAN: Truly!

MINH: Well, here we are. I have to find my Auntie Maia and my herd before I join you, but the festival is just through those ferns there.

JONATHAN: Thank you!

MINH: Enjoy! And check out my mom’s booth if you have time: Saura Sorting Baskets.

REDGE: Organizationally specific baskets?! Don’t mind if I do!

MINH: Bye!

JONATHAN: Bye, Minh!

REDGE: What a great young chap!

JONATHAN: He’ll do just fine! Well, shall we head to the-

(Loud trumpeted shriek of a Maiasaura.)

MAIA: Oh no, oh no, oh no! It was right there! I’m telling you it was right there. How could it have disappeared?

(Another loud trumpet.)

MAIA: Oh, I’m in such trouble.

JONATHAN: Hi there, ma’am. Are you alright?

REDGE: Can we help?

MAIA: Who are you?

REDGE: I’m Redge. And this is my best friend, Jonathan.

JONATHAN: We’re visiting from the Folktale Forest.

REDGE: Do you need assistance?

MAIA: My nest! I’ve lost my nest. Oh, I can’t believe I’ve done this. My very first nest!

JONATHAN: Tell us what happened?

MAIA: Well, I went out to scavenge for more leaves to keep my new eggs warm, and when I returned, my nest was gone!

JONATHAN: You’re a maiasaura!

REDGE: Just like our new friend, Minh. He was looking for you!

MAIA: There’s no time! My nest!

JONATHAN: Oh, right! Your name means “good mother” lizard.

MAIA: I don’t know how good I am. What kind of first-time mom loses her entire nest?!

REDGE: Where’d you last see the nest?

MAIA: It was on the shore. Next to a piece of driftwood. But when I returned from scavenging…THE DRIFTWOOD WAS FLOATING IN THE SEA, AND MY NEST WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!

REDGE: Oh dear…

JONATHAN: We’ll help you search!

REDGE: The basket festival can wait.

MAIA: Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll gather my herd and I’ll meet you back there.

REDGE: Let’s hurry, Jonathan! There’s not a moment to spare.

JONATHAN: Hm…I don’t see a nest, but could that be the driftwood she mentioned?

REDGE: That’s strange. The maiasaura mother told us the driftwood was out in the water, but the driftwood is here on dry land.

JONATHAN: Could the wood have returned from the sea, I wonder?

MINH: Yes, it could…

JONATHAN: Minh?

REDGE: We’re so glad you’re here! One of your herd has lost her nest. She’s gathering the others now.

MINH (nervously): Uh, I know I was with them when she came to find us, but…uh…there’s something I need to get before-…

REDGE: There they are now!

JONATHAN (calling to the herd): We found the driftwood!

MAIA: That’s the wood, but any sign of the nest?

JONATHAN: I don’t see anything…

REDGE: Me either!

MINH: Auntie Maia? Can I talk to you?

MAIA: Minh, I’m so sorry, but I’m a bit panicked right now. I have to find my nest!

MINH: I know, Auntie Maia. I just…

MAIA (calling out to the herd): Maybe half the herd can start on that side of the beach. And the other half on this side!

MINH: Auntie Maia, please. If you could just listen to me…

MAIA (calling to the herd): There are 15 eggs total! I repeat: FIFTEEN EGGS!

MINH: Auntie Maia, I need to tell you something.

MAIA: Now’s not a great time, Minh.

MINH: Auntie Maia. It’s important!

MAIA: Ok ok, what is it?

MINH: I know where your nest is.

REDGE: You do?

JONATHAN: You do?

MAIA: You do!? WHERE?

MINH: Ummm…well…

REDGE: What?

JONATHAN: What?

MAIA: WHAT is it?!

MINH: I moved it.

REDGE: You moved it?

JONATHAN: You moved it?

MAIA: You moved it!? WHY?!

MINH: I-I-I have been doing some calculations…

HERD1 (shouts): Over here! The nest is over here!

MAIA: Oh thank you thank you thank you! Come! Quick!

MAIA: Minh, why would you move my nest into the trees like this? Away from the shore? I would have never found it here.

MINH: You see, the moon…

(Groans)

HERD1: Not this again.

HERD2: Him and his moon.

HERD3: He’s obsessed!

HERD4: Doesn’t he ever stop?

JONATHAN: No no. Listen! Minh is right!

HERD1: Who’s this guy?

JONATHAN: You see that figure of the moon up in the sky. Well, the moon has a gravitational pull on the planet.

MINH: I’ve noticed a pattern, and I’ve been calculating that at certain times of the day, gravity will pull the waters higher onto the beach and at other times…

JONATHAN: The pull is weaker and the water is much lower. The highest tides tend to come when the moon is full.

MINH: Just like it is right now! Seeing a full moon in the sky was how I knew the nest had to be pulled away from the shore and into the trees. The water always comes up 1 to 2 meters higher on the shore during a full moon, endangering your nest.

MAIA: Oh my! Oh Minh!

HERD1: Smart kid.

HERD2: A real brainiac.

HERD3: Only a maiasaura could have brains that big.

MINH: I’m sorry I scared you, Auntie Maia. I was only trying to do what I thought was best.

MAIA: Minh, how could I ever thank you?! You saved my nest.

(Brass band music is heard far in the distance)

JONATHAN: What’s that music?

REDGE: Could it be the parasaurolophus brass band, Crest Love?

MINH: That’s them alright!

REDGE: We have to go listen!

JONATHAN: You still need some baskets, Redge.

REDGE (very seriously): Oh, Jonathan. We will NOT be leaving here without at least a half a dozen baskets. At. Least.

MINH: You coming, Auntie Maia?

MAIA: I think I’ll stay here with my nest. Keep them warm as the cool air starts to settle in for the evening.

MINH: Ok! See you later then!

MAIA: And Minh….

MINH: Yes, Auntie Maia?

MAIA: Keep reaching for the stars, ok?

MINH: Will do, Auntie Maia. Will do.

MINH: There’s a special basket I want you to have from my mom’s booth.

REDGE: How kind!

JONATHAN: What makes it special?

MINH: Well, its special design allows you to attach these view finders to it.

REDGE: What do those do?

MINH: The view finders turn the basket into a celestial navigation tool. Just point it to the horizon and it’ll help you travel back across the Fanta-SEA.

REDGE: Ingenious!

JONATHAN: Truly scientific! Thank you, Minh!

JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a Jonincharacter production. This story was written by Monique Hafen Adams, edited by Molly Murphy, and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks. We love hearing from you! Contact us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com or try our one-way text feature as a safe way to reach out. You can find even more ways to reach us in the show notes.

Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!

THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.