JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
REDGE: (sings a little made up ditty) Time for another T.A.L.E. tour look baaaack—oh YEAH! Season 7 is almost heeere—oh YEAH! T.A.L.E. tour—Season 7! T.A.L.E. tour—Season 7! TALE tour—Seeeeeassssson Seveeeen! HUZZAH!
JONATHAN: Someone’s excited - but, Redge, we’re…
REDGE: Seaaaaason Seveeeeen!
JONATHAN: Redge, we’re not going to look back on a T.A.L.E. Tour today.
REDGE: Whaaaaaaaat?!
JONATHAN: Well, it wasn’t an official tour stop and we didn’t get there in the magical minivan, but it was one of the most unusual places we’ve ever visited.
REDGE: That could be anywhere in Once Upon a Time!
JONATHAN: So true. I’ll give you a hint - We had to nibble a Wonderland cookie to shrink to the right size so we could walk the streets of -
REDGE: Scribbleton! Once Upon a Time’s tiniest town!
INSERT CLIP 1: “Shrinking down to Size”
(From EP85 — start with Jonathan saying “I have always wanted to go to Scribbleton…” and end after Redge says “Huzzah!”)
JONATHAN: I have always wanted to go to Scribbleton. So I’m willing to give it a go!
REDGE: Excellent! I, too, have always wanted to visit Once Upon a Time’s tiniest town!
JONATHAN: I’ve read it’s filled with pixies and fairies and mushroom houses and beautiful streets made from bits of leaves.
REDGE: Mini-mysteries await amidst the forest floor!
JONATHAN: That’s very poetic, Redge.
REDGE: That’s what it says on the cover of this book!
JONATHAN: (As if he’s reading) “A Tourist’s Guidebook to Scribbleton: Where Many Mini-Mysteries Await Amidst the Forest Floor”. Well! Would you look at that!
REDGE: I thought we might need a little help getting around so I found this guidebook at the Folktale Forest Library.
JONATHAN: Brilliant idea!
Alright then, you ready to take a bite of this cookie?
REDGE: Jonathan.
JONATHAN: What’s up, Redge?
REDGE: Have I ever NOT been ready to eat a cookie?
JONATHAN: Fair point. Bottoms up!
JONATHAN: It worked!
REDGE: Huzzah!
END CLIP
JONATHAN: You know, Redge, I’ve walked down many main streets in my life, but nothing quite compares to Doodle Avenue.
REDGE: Sparkling fairydust cobblestones in all the colors of the rainbow!
JONATHAN: And buildings made of mushrooms, tree bark and berries - so quaint and charming! Like the town popped right out of a pocket-sized storybook.
REDGE: And just as we were about to go into the Tiny Treat Emporium, a candy shop full of delicious delights
JONATHAN: We had our first encounter with Scribbleton locals!
CLIP 2: “The Scribble Knight and Protector of Yew”
(From EP85 — begin with Lionel saying “I haven’t seen you folk around here before” and end with Jonathan saying “What’s first on the list?”)
LIONEL: I haven’t seen you folk around here before.
REDGE: You have not! We’re usually MUCH taller and live in the Folktale Forest!
JONATHAN: Yes, I’m Jonathan and this is Redge! We’re just visiting Scribbleton.
REDGE: For the very first time.
PHINEAS: Oh! Well then, where are my manners? Welcome, welcome to the fine land of Scribbleton!
LIONEL: My name is Slime Lionel, the banana slug.
REDGE: Hello Mr. Slime Lionel!
PHINEAS: I’m Phineas Evergreen, a Scribble Knight and Protector of Yew.
REDGE: Of me?
PHINEAS: No! Yew!
JONATHAN: Of me?
PHINEAS/LIONEL: OF YEW!
LIONEL: The old yew tree that fell many years ago.
REDGE: Oh how SILLY of me! I remember reading about that in my guidebook! See, it’s in this passage here!
“History buffs should be sure to take in the many stories of how this town came to be! For instance, once long ago, a yew tree was felled in a storm. Many Scribbletonians thought their tiny town was done for, as the massive log seemed to cut them off from the world beyond their borders…”
PHINEAS: That’s correct! Today we’re hosting a parade to celebrate how Scribbletonians had to rush in and save the day!
LIONEL: It’s a yearly event called the Scribbleton Scramble Parade.
PHINEAS: And it’s up to Lionel and I to get everything set up before the Scramble begins!
LIONEL: The other Scramble Setup Committee members all have terrible tummy aches.
PHINEAS: They tried too many candies to find just the right ones for the celebration. So we’re trying to check everything off this list here ourselves.
REDGE: Oh dear! That’s an enormous list!
LIONEL: Don’t I know it.
JONATHAN: I don’t want to impose… but Redge and I can help you!
REDGE: Oh yes! What better way to learn about the Scramble than to help you make the parade happen.
PHINEAS: You’d really help a pixie and their ‘ol slug bud out like this?
REDGE: Absolutely!
JONATHAN: What’s first on the list?
END CLIP
REDGE: They really needed our help, Jonathan! That to-do list was longer than a glistening Banana Slug trail!
JONATHAN: Did you know that the slimy path left by the banana slug is made from special mucus-
REDGE: MUCUS! (Giggles) Icky!
JONATHAN: But special mucus! It helps them move,
REDGE: Jonathan?
JONATHAN: Slide away from predators,
REDGE: That’s very cool, but also, Jonathan-
JONATHAN: Oh! It even helps them crawl over sharp stuff!
REDGE: Jonathan…um…we were doing the recap?
JONATHAN: OH! Right. Must have…slipped my mind. Eh? -use second pass
REDGE: (Laughs) Oh Jonathan.
JONATHAN: Anywho…Our first stop was the Mayor’s office!
REDGE: Mayor Myca-Liam! Full of fun facts and lover of dad jokes.
JONATHAN: And what about our friends who helped us move quickly from task to task?
REDGE: Chirpsy the Cricket and Liverwort the jumping spider! Chirpsy hopped and sang and talked and hopped and sang the entire time! MOLLY should there be a contrast line about Liverwart?
JONATHAN: Our most challenging job was helping to spruce up two parade floats just in the nick of time so the parade could begin.
REDGE: And what a parade! We learned the entire history of Scribbleton!
JONATHAN: And then came the final item on Phineas’s list…
REDGE: The sweetest one of all.
CLIP 3: “A Sweet Ending”
(From EP85 — begin with Phineas saying “Oh wait…” and end with Redge saying “DO THEY EVER!” )
PHINEAS: Oh wait…there’s just one more task to complete as we strike up the band. But I don’t know if it will be of interest and I wouldn’t want to put you both out after you’ve helped me so much today.
JONATHAN: Today’s been so much fun!
REDGE: Yes an excellent way to see Scribbleton for the first time, and learn about your history. We’re happy to help!
PHINEAS: OK then! The last task on the list is to head to the candy shop, Tiny Treat Emporium–
REDGE/JONATHAN: WE’LL DO IT!
PHINEAS: Oh! You don’t even know what the task–
REDGE: It’s alright we’ll do it!
PHINEAS: Brilliant! Here’s the list of the candy I need. Chirpsy and Liverwart can take you back to Doodle Avenue now!
LIVERWART: I’m Liverwart.
REDGE: Excellent! EEE! CANDY!
JONATHAN: I wonder what kind of candy is at the Tiny Treat Emporium!
REDGE: According to my guidebook there are many candies made from some of the foraged plants!
JONATHAN: Ooo!
REDGE: There’s peppermint, marshmallow, licorice, sugar from a maple tree…
JONATHAN: Yum! Do they have saltwater taffy? I love saltwater taffy from old-timey candy shops.
REDGE: DO THEY EVER!
END CLIP
REDGE: Oh Jonathan… now I’m feeling a bit melancholy. This was our last trip down memory lane on our T.A.L.E. - and yes - our tiny tours.
JONATHAN: I know, Redge. But now we get to go on more Thrilling and Astounding Lore Expeditions to make new discoveries, tell new stories, and go on more adventures with our friends.
REDGE: You’re right! And speaking of friends… It’s time for our listeners to tell US their stories!
JONATHAN: Because it’s their chance to win Dorktales merch prize packages!
REDGE: All you need to do, dear listeners, is be your fabulously creative selves and tell us where you’d like to go on a T.A.L.E. Tour with us! It can be a place we’ve already visited in Once Upon a Time OR a place from your own imagination!
JONATHAN: Grownups, you can email us your child’s idea at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com
no later than Wednesday, February 25th.
REDGE: That date is coming very quickly, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: That’s because we’re choosing 7 listeners at random to win a Dorktales merch prize pack and we want to announce the winners in a special Mr. Redge Hotline episode before Season 7 begins!
JONATHAN: Grownups, check the show notes for more details.
REDGE: Now, go be the hero of your own story,
JONATHAN: and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
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