Dorktales Storytime
Welcome to the wonderful, wacky, and wildly imaginative world of Dorktales Storytime, the award-winning podcast for kids and their pop-culture-loving grownups. Join hosts Jonathan Cormur and Mr. Reginald T. Hedgehog as they explore the land of Once Upon a Time through three kinds of tales: clever and geeky retellings of classic fairy tales and fables, original Once Upon a Time lore stories about magical places and friendly creatures, and inspiring stories about the Hidden Heroes of History. Every tale is packed with twists, turns and lessons learned. So, step through our portal into a story-filled realm where anything is possible!
Recognized by Common Sense Media as outstanding entertainment with an official seal for quality and impact. Common Sense Selections include age-appropriate media with the potential to spark family conversations, entertain families of all kinds, and have a positive, lasting effect on society.
Reach out to us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com
Dorktales Storytime
Three Billy Goats Buff (Classic) - Fairytale Story for Kids
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Three goat siblings set off on a quest to reach the hill with the healthiest snacks when they butt heads with a very hangry troll. Are they fit for the challenge? Will it take brains or brawn to beat the troll and cross the bridge? Each goat must use their own special strengths to outsmart the greedy troll and protect one another. Clever tricks, sibling teamwork, and one very surprised flying troll will leave you rolling in clover.
This reimagined story of the Norwegian fairytale, Three Billy Goats Gruff, is a Dorktales Classic.
Episode webpage: https://jonincharacter.com/three-billy-goats-buff/
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PARENTS, TEACHERS AND HOMESCHOOLERS: In this playful retelling of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” kids explore how problem-solving can take many forms. Each goat sibling uses a different strength to face a hangry troll, showing that intelligence, creative and strategic thinking, and physical strength all have value. The story also encourages self-confidence, healthy habits, perseverance, and recognizing that everyone approaches challenges differently.
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY about a retelling of a favorite fairytale, we think you’ll also enjoy episode 9, The Boy Who Cried Hedgewolf: https://jonincharacter.com/boy-who-cried-hedgewolf/
CREDITS: This episode is a Jonincharacter production. It was written by Amy Thompson, produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks.
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Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
Hello, Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
Theme SongIt's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones, too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale
Finchbook Fitness Challenge
Theme Songyou
RedgeNinety ninety-one ninety two ninety-three ninety-four
JonathanOh uh hi Redge.
RedgeNinety six Uh
JonathanWhatcha doin'?
RedgeWhat ninety-seven? Does ninety-eight? It's ninety-nine look like one hundred
JonathanI mean I guess it looks like you're doing sit-ups. Should I rephrase my question?
RedgeGo ahead, mate. I'm taking a breather.
JonathanWhy are you doing sit-ups?
RedgeAh, that's a great question, my boy.
JonathanMm-hmm.
RedgeOh, sorry, I I need a splash of water. Ah, I was parched, hmm.
JonathanAnd I'm patiently awaiting your answer.
RedgeOh yes, right, of course. Uh I was working out.
JonathanWorking out?
RedgeYes. You know that social media website that all my bird friends use to share their opinions in 250 chirps or fewer?
JonathanOh yeah. Uh what was it called again?
RedgeHmm, it's on the tip of your tongue, is it?
JonathanUh Tweeter?
RedgeUh close. It's Finchbook.
JonathanAha. Yeah. Well, what does that have to do with sit ups?
RedgeWell, I'm taking part in a workout challenge. Everyone exercises, and the animal who comes out the strongest by the end of the month gets bragging rights.
JonathanOh wow. Uh that sounds like a fun challenge.
RedgeIt is. It
JonathanAnd you're still doing it. Wow, I didn't know you can lift such a large dumbbell.
RedgeYes. I can squat twice my body weight. I'm no leafcutter ant,
Jonathan Tells a Story
Redgethough.
JonathanWell, is it okay if I tell you a story as you uh continue training?
RedgeAh of course, mate. I welcome your company.
JonathanGreat.
RedgeBut I must warn you, my mind is quite fixated on athletics today.
JonathanOh?
RedgeYes, I failed to mention the challenge started last month, and it ends well tonight. So the only chance I have at winning is remaining focused in these final hours.
JonathanWell, that's quite a coincidence.
RedgeA coincidence, you say?
JonathanYeah, your challenge with the other woodland critters goes along perfectly with today's story.
RedgeOh, is that so? I adore a good theme. theme parties, theme decor, theme costumes
JonathanAnd now a theme story. Today I'm telling the tale of the Three Billy Goats Gruff.
RedgeEm what about Buff?
JonathanOoh, I like it. The three Billy Goats Buff
RedgePerfection
Three Billy Goats Buff?
RedgeJonathan
Great. So here goes. Once upon a time, there were three billy goats with the last name Gr uh Buff. Let's just say the three goat siblings.
RedgeSounds fair. I'll do a push-up for each. One, two, three!
JonathanYou better keep going, Redge, if you want to win your Finchbook challenge.
RedgeUh Righto. Four five six!
JonathanSo the three goat siblings wanted to climb up a hill.
RedgeNine ten! That sounds like good exercise.
JonathanAnd the top of that hill was covered in the sweetest clover they all wanted to eat, so they'd be strong and healthy.
RedgeIt is always important that animals
Jonathanand people
Redgeand people try to stay active and eat what feels right for their bodies, so they're healthy and strong. Which is the point of my challenge.
JonathanI couldn't agree more, Redge. So the goat siblings wanted to get to the top of the hill and eat the tastiest clover.
RedgeOoh and speaking of snacks, it's snack break time.
JonathanAh yes. Never work out without proper nutrition and hydration. Here, eat these almonds I keep in my pocket for moments like this. What? Pocket almonds always come through in a pinch.
RedgeAnd I fear I've pinched my back doing sit-ups.
JonathanOh, don't push yourself too hard, buddy. Just listen to the story.
RedgeOoh, alright. I can always pause for snack time.
JonathanSo, the three goats set out for the hill. But there was one obstacle in their path.
RedgeUgh, they didn't begin the challenge on the last day, did they?
JonathanUh nope, but there was a bridge crossing a river on their path, and under that bridge lived a very hungry troll.
RedgeOh no!
First Sibling Goat
RedgeJonathan
And the goats decided to cross the bridge one by one. First up, the youngest of the goat siblings.
RedgeI certainly hope the troll was friendly.
JonathanMore like hungry.
RedgeUh-oh.
JonathanUh-oh is right. As the youngest sibling trotted across the bridge, his hooves went trip-trap, trip-trap, trip-trap, and the troll swung his long, sinewy arm across the young goat's path, dragging his stout and bumpy body up, gnashing his terrible teeth, and shouting,
TrollWho's that trip trap trotting across my bridge?
JonathanHis eyes landed on the youngest goat.
TrollHmm Yum a goat for my supper. I just love succulent goat. I'm going to gobble you up.
JonathanHe continued gnashing his teeth.
RedgeOh, does he have to continue? That just sounds horrible.
JonathanWell, he was horrible. He'd never brushed his teeth. He never took a bath, he never did much of anything.
RedgeUgh, how could one be so careless? At least I complete challenges
JonathanRight on the final day. Anyway, you're much nicer than a bridge troll. He ate goats just like that for years, and grew accustomed to snatching them from the bridge and gobbling them up.
RedgeOoh I shudder to think about it.
JonathanAh, but the young goat had a plan.
First GoatYou don't want to eat me
TrollI do. What? I don't?
First GoatNo you see, I'm going up the hillside with my siblings to eat all the clover so that we can grow strong and healthy. But I'm just the smallest goatling. You want someone much more filling than me. My older brother is next. Let me pass, and you can have him instead.
JonathanThe troll was stunned. No goat had ever advocated for their sibling to be eaten. The youngster might be crazy, but right. He was too hungry for such a small goatling.
TrollOh all right. Be on your way, so I can eat the older goat. I see him coming now.
JonathanAnd the youngest goat crossed over to the field of tasty clovers.
RedgeJonathan, this isn't right to give up a sibling like that.
JonathanWell, Redge, this should come as no surprise to you. Just like you haven't been doing your social media challenge for the past four weeks, some things are simply not how they appear. Wait for it.
RedgeOh
Second Sibling Goat
Redgeall right.
JonathanSo along came the second goat crossing the bridge, a bit larger than his sibling. Trip trap, trip trap, trip trap and out swung the troll again.
TrollWho is trip trapping across my bridge?
Second GoatIt is I
Jonathansaid the next goat, bravely.
Second GoatI'm going up the hill to munch on the tastiest clover ever, so that I may be healthy, strong, and happy.
TrollOh no you're not. You're bigger than the last one. You'll be my supper as I gobble you up.
JonathanHe bellowed as he swung one of his long, sinewy arms to grab the second goat, but the second goat took a step away from his grasp and replied
Second GoatOh no wait just one minute there, troll
TrollWhat?
RedgeNot very patient, is he?
JonathanWell he's a troll, what do you expect?
RedgeGood point.
JonathanThe second goat continued.
Second GoatIf you eat me, you won't have nearly enough room in your belly for my sibling who's coming next A much larger and therefore a much greater dinner feast for you.
RedgeOoh, he's so clever, playing to the troll's greed like that.
JonathanExactly. These goat siblings are on top of it, and the troll decided to let the second goat go.
TrollOkay, you may pass. I can wait for the heartier one to get here. I want a full course supper, like I deserve.
Third Sibling Goat
TrollJonathan
So the second goat trotted off to the other side of the bridge, and the biggest goat approached. Trip, trap, trip, trap went his louder, larger hooves across the wooden boards. And again the troll swung himself up to the biggest goat's path, drooling now, for he was very hungry.
RedgeWell, I no longer am. Those almonds were filling. I'm just on the edge of my seat.
JonathanNo exercises while you listen to the end of the story?
RedgeI've lost all motivation. I'm just riveted by this tale. How will the third goat trick the hungry troll?
JonathanHe won't.
RedgeHe won't?
JonathanNope.
RedgeSo he's eaten? That's disappointing.
JonathanAh, but Redge, you forget what I said. The smaller goats may have needed to trick the troll to escape, but their much larger brother had already grown big enough to face the troll using his strength.
RedgeOh my, maybe I should continue with the challenge. That's impressive. Back to push-ups. Where was I? Twenty? Twenty twenty one.
JonathanSo the biggest goat squared himself to the troll and began to recite a poem.
RedgeTwen... I bet the troll did not like that.
JonathanNo, the troll was so hungry and angry all at once.
RedgeYou mean hangry, right?
JonathanYou're right. He was very hangry as he shouted
TrollI'm going to gobble you up.
JonathanBut the third goat calmly said,
Third GoatI have two horns so stout. With them I'll thrust you ugly troll out. You'll fall from here to the river and stone. So you'll leave the bridge crossers all alone.
JonathanAnd with that, he headbutted the confused troll straight off the bridge. So you see, each of the three goats used their own personal strengths to keep each other safe.
Brains vs Brawn
JonathanRedge
No fighting or scuffle? Oh, I love that.
JonathanYes, the third goat trotted up to meet his siblings, and they all munched on sweet clover and laughed at how wisely they defeated the mean troll.
RedgeI love how strength can come from your body and also your brain. The sibling goats were as clever as they were fit.
JonathanJust like you. Don't push yourself too hard to win this challenge, Redge. What matters most is you give it your best effort.
RedgeAnd next time, I'll try a little sooner than the final day.
JonathanGood idea.
RedgeNow what's so funny, good sir?
JonathanUh, nothing. Uh I just love how our story was inspired by an animal social media challenge. Who would have thought?
RedgeHehe, yes. It is uh it is pretty silly.
JonathanAnimals on social media. Hoo!
RedgeOh, it's not just animals on Finchbook and Tweeter. Have you heard about the social media dance craze for clock enthusiasts? You'll never guess what that's called.
JonathanTikTok?
RedgeHow did you know? Hmm.
RedgeJonathan
Just clever, I guess.
Credits & How to Contact Us
JonathanThis has been a Jon in Character production. Today's story was written by Amy Thompson, edited by Molly Murphy, and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios. Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at DorkTalestorytime at gmail.com. Find links in the show notes or go to dorktalestorytime.com. Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.
Theme SongSo universe imagined turns.
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