Wonderland Playlist: Alice in Slumberland

After tumbling down the rabbit hole, Alice and Redge find themselves smack dab in the middle of the Queen of Hearts’ kingdom. Seeing the queen’s subjects so sad over her very bad temper and impossible expectations, the two come up with a clever croquet challenge to help her learn that winning isn’t everything. Can the queen learn that good sportsmanship makes every game more fun, or will she keep sending everyone… OFF TO THEIR BEDS?!

This reimagined Lewis Carroll portal fantasy tale, Alice in Slumberland, is a Dorktales Classic.

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PARENTS, TEACHERS AND HOMESCHOOLERS: This is a reimagined story based on the "Queen's Croquet Ground" chapter from Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The Queen's behavior demonstrates unrealistic expectations, poor sportsmanship, and a lack of consideration for others. By the end of the story, she learns that cooperation, teamwork, empathy, and good sportsmanship lead to stronger relationships and more enjoyable experiences for everyone.  

CREDITS: This episode has been a Jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written by Amy Thompson, edited and produced by Molly Murphy. Special thanks to Sabrina Glow for voicing the character, Alice. All other characters performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Pacific Grove Soundworks.

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Transcript

Jonathan 0:33

Hello, Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grown-ups.

Theme Song 0:45

It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale

Alice and Redge Laughing

Theme Song 0:59

you.  

Redge 1:08

Oh yes! And she did!

Alice 1:13

I still can't believe how soft that duvet cover was!

Redge 1:16

You're telling me, Alice. Oh, we really should have spent more time there. Maybe we should have dare I say it? Listen to her.

Alice 1:27

Just that once.

Jonathan 1:33

Redge! Oh, it's so good to see you. It's been three days and I was starting to get worried. I was wondering where you were.

Redge 1:42

Oh, hello, Jonathan. I'm sorry I never told you where I was going, but I was late for a very important date, and something so curious happened.

Jonathan 1:53

Oh?

Redge 1:54

Yes. I oh um before I dive in, this is my new friend Alice. Jonathan, Alice. Alice, Jonathan.

Jonathan 2:03

Hello.

Alice 2:04

Nice to meet ya.

Redge 2:06

Now that we're all friends here, back to my tale. I was out for an evening jaunt three days ago when I spotted a selection of incredible mushrooms by a tree. I really wanted to snag them. I had been looking for some new hovel seeding. Oh, Alice, did you see them? I wish you'd seen them.

Alice 2:25

Hmm. Were they the kind that a caterpillar likes to sit on?

Redge 2:30

Oh, absolutely. They were brilliant looking and

Jonathan 2:33

um Redge?

Redge 2:35

Oh, right, apologies. Well, when I walked towards the tree, I tripped over a branch and fell down a literal rabbit hole. That's where I met Alice. She had just tumbled down the same hole herself.

Alice 2:48

I was following a curious white rabbit who leapt into the hole, though. Not simply plummeting into an entirely new world like Redge because he was distracted by mushrooms.

Jonathan 3:00

Yeah, that sounds like him.

Redge 3:03

Oh, I knew you two meeting each other would go this way. And I suppose I deserve that friendly ribbing. I'm glad you're becoming friends.

Jonathan 3:14

Well, I am too. So what's the rest of the story? That can't be the only reason you two are so giggly.

Redge 3:21

Oh, this is a doozy. You may want to grab a tree stump and sit down, mate. Alice, why don't you get into the main plot with the classic intro I told you

Wonderland Slumberland

Redge 3:33

about?  

Alice 3:34

So, once upon a time, Redge and I landed in a magical realm. I like to call it Wonderland.

Redge 3:43

Or as I prefer. Slumberland.

Jonathan 3:51

Um I'm not sure I follow the joke here.

Redge 3:56

Oh, you will in time, my friend. This wacky and wild experience makes me chuckle. There we were, wandering around Wonderland, when we came upon a giant chessboard, surrounded by red rose bushes.

Alice 4:13

And three playing cards with faces, arms, and legs were painting the roses.

Jonathan 4:20

Painting roses?

Alice 4:21

That's right.

Jonathan 4:23

Wait a second. Playing cards painting roses?

Redge 4:27

Yes, these playing cards, two, five, and seven, belonged to a larger deck and were ruled by the brash, fiery, and bold Queen of Hearts.

Alice 4:40

And the Queen of Hearts loves games.

Redge 4:44

Loves winning games.

Alice 4:47

And, true to her suit, loves the color red. So two, five, and seven planted a new rosebush in the hedges. But unfortunately for them, when it bloomed, the roses were white.

Jonathan 5:01

Oh, that can't be good.

Redge 5:03

Too true. So you see, they were frantically trying to paint the white roses red before the Queen arrived.

Alice 5:11

Because when the Queen was unhappy

Jonathan 5:14

Oh, wait! I remember a story about an angry Queen who liked red roses.

Redge 5:20

You do?

Jonathan 5:21

Yes.

Alice 5:23

Okay. So then you remember the Queen would always yell.

All 5:28

Off with their heads! Huh?

Alice 5:33

Uh

Redge 5:34

Ewww no! What? Jonathan, is this another one of those human takes on a traditional fantasy? I say, human stories can be so gruesome sometimes.

Jonathan 5:51

Oh. Uh I don't know. Maybe.

Alice 5:55

Where Redge and I were, the Queen of Hearts always yelled.

Queen of Hearts 6:00

Off to their beds!

Jonathan 6:04

She did?

Redge 6:06

That's what she said.

Jonathan 6:09

So they'd take a nap instead?

Alice 6:13

And nobody would lose their head.

Redge 6:15

It means the cards were overtired, though. They felt like lead.

Jonathan 6:21

Well, at least they weren't dead.

Redge 6:23

Oh, enough rhyming. We're running out of timing. Alice, go on.

Alice 6:28

All of the Queen's subjects were so tired of being sent to bed.

Redge 6:34

They couldn't get through any of their work without the displeased Queen, forcing them to their rooms.

Alice 6:41

The cards just wanted to enjoy their days until they were truly ready to rest.

Jonathan 6:47

Hmm, I can see how the Queen's punishments were distressing to the deck.

Redge 6:53

Especially because the Queen was always finding new reasons to be upset. She simply didn't know how to let her subjects be happy, or even how to enjoy a moment herself.

Alice 7:07

So when she showed up at the chessboard and noticed her cards painting the roses, she shouted,

Queen of Hearts 7:13

Why aren't these already red? Send them off to their beds!

Redge 7:20

And with bent edges, and while quietly weeping, mind you, the cards slowly trudged back to their homes, as if they were on time out.

Playing Cards 7:32

Oh dear oh gosh.

Alice 7:35

It was particularly unfair. They had been working so hard to keep her happy.

Jonathan 7:42

Oh, I'll say. It's difficult to please someone who's looking for any reason to be cranky.

Redgeball Croquet

Jonathan 7:47 Redge 7:48

Right? And the Queen was determined to have things her way. So when she noticed Alice and I on her playing field, she was ready to be upset again.

Queen of Hearts 8:00

And who are these strangers that have come into my kingdom unannounced? Off to your...

Alice 8:12

But before she could finish that sentence, Redge came up with this brilliant plan to show the Queen that she can't have her way all the time and send subjects to slumber when they're not even sleepy.

Redge 8:26

Yes, I walked up to the Queen and said, Your glorious majesty, could myself and young Alice here entertain you in a game of croquet?

Jonathan 8:39

You play croquet?

Redge 8:42

Of course. Sherlock taught me, and we meet once a month for a rousing game with his other squirrel friends. Keep up, Jonathan. And anyway, I don't play croquet. I LIVE croquet. I'm the ball.

Jonathan 9:04

You're the p ball?

Redge 9:06

Yes, keep up.

Queen of Hearts 9:08

Hmm. Croquet, you say.

Alice 9:13

We could play all day.

Redge 9:15

Let's get the game underway.

Alice 9:18

Redge volunteered to be the croquet ball, and the Queen's cards bent at the middle with their hands and feet on the ground to create the wickets. Or the arched hoops you try to get the ball through during the game. We used flamingos as mallets!

Redge 9:35

And they spoke.

Flamingo 9:42

For I will be the greatest mallet with the surest aim.

Jonathan 9:48

Now, I've seen some things in Once Upon a Time. But this sounds sillier than most of them.

Alice 9:55

That's Wonderland for ya.

Redge 9:58

Yes, it was quite a sight to behold. We couldn't stop laughing. And every time the Queen would miss a shot or knock me into one of her cards, she'd take her frustration out on them and shout

Queen of Hearts 10:15

Off to your beds!

Alice 10:18

Hmm. The cards would sulk off with a groan until there were only a few left on the field. And the Queen realized she had nobody to be the wickets anymore. It was ridiculous.

Playing Cards 10:33

And I am sad, card.

Redge 10:36

By this point, the Queen of Hearts was fuming. So much so that her face was as red as her suit. And on her final swing

Alice 10:47

You won't believe it!

Redge 10:49

The flamingo that was her mallet sneezed.

Alice 11:03

She missed hitting the Redge ball by a mile!

Jonathan 11:06

Ha! Redge ball!

Alice 11:09

We thought it was quite hilarious too. So we cracked up. And the flamingo flew off in a tizzy.

Redge 11:32

Needless to say, the Queen was there on the croquet field, ready to blow a gasket, about to scream, Off to your beds, at everyone that remained.

Alice 11:46

But Redge stopped rolling around on the ground for a moment and stood up.

Queen Learns a Lesson

Alice 11:51 Redge 11:51

  Your Majesty, are you planning to finish the croquet game by yourself?

Alice 11:58

Yes, for as you can see, there are no more wicket cards or flamenco mallets, and our ball is a hedgehog once again.

Queen of Hearts 12:08

Oh, dear me!

Alice 12:11

The Queen took a step back and realized that she no longer had a large crowd to cheer her on, or a winning peg to knock the ball into. So then I said, Your Majesty, you look tired. Perhaps you should have sent yourself to bed and returned when you could play with the team.

Queen of Hearts 12:32

Well, I never really considered that.

Alice 12:40

She saw that her poor sportsmanship and constant demands for perfection were really impacting everyone in her court. We just wanted her to take a moment to think about what it means to be a good team player.

Redge 12:55

So I looked over to Alice.

Alice 12:57

And I looked over at Redge.

Redge 13:00

And we both looked over at the Queen.

Alice 13:03

Your Majesty, might I make a suggestion?

Queen of Hearts 13:08

No! Uh yes. I suppose so.

Alice 13:14

Perhaps, just perhaps, it's time you go off to your bed!

Jonathan 13:22

Taking the time to learn about how you might be affecting others, especially people who are trying to be on your team. That's a great lesson to sleep on.

Alice 13:32

Oh, she definitely learned a lesson in cooperation.

Redge 13:37

We all learned a little lesson in teamwork that day.

Alice 13:41

And took naps in the beds of the Queen's castle. They were so comfy.

Redge 13:49

I was in the tea party themed room. There was a delightful door mouse sleeping in a teacup on my nightstand.

Alice 13:57

I was in the Cheshire room. There was a cat. Uh, sometimes. But sometimes he seemed to disappear out of thin air. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.

Jonathan 14:12

Wow!

Redge 14:14

My duvet was very soft. I almost fell asleep immediately.

Alice 14:24

But we could hear the Queen snores all throughout the halls. After the nap, the Queen promised us she'd find a better way of working with others.

Redge 14:40

And that's where I've been, Wonderland.

Alice 14:45

Or Slumberland.

Redge 14:48

Right. Oh goodness. Being a ball and a wise teacher is hard work. It's time for us to go.

All 15:06

Off to our beds!

Credits, How to Reach Us

All 15:08 Jonathan 15:12

This has been a Jon in Character production. Today's story was written by Amy Thompson and edited by Molly Murphy. Special thanks to Sabrina Glow from the award-winning Glow Girl Sister voice acting team who performed Alice. All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings. Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at DorkTalesstorytime at gmail.com. Find links in the show notes or go to DorkTalesstorytime.com. Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.