Unheard Voices: How One Charity Amplifies Parent Perspectives in Mental Health with Hansa Raja

Today we delve deep into the heart of human experience. And are honoured to host Hansa Raja, Founder and CEO of a charity dedicated to supporting families through the tumultuous journey of children's mental health struggles.

With a background steeped in both the NHS and charity sector, Hansa brings a unique blend of compassion and strategic insight to the table.

Join us as we explore her inspiring journey from parent to advocate, her innovative approaches to parent peer support, and her relentless commitment to amplifying the voices of families in need.

This is a conversation you won't want to miss.

To Learn more about Hansa and her valuable charity please look here:-

Website:       https://www.holdingspace.org.uk/
LinkedIn:       https://www.linkedin.com/in/hansa-raja-265888196/
LinkedIn:       https://www.linkedin.com/company/holding-space-eastbourne/
Facebook:     https://www.facebook.com/Eastbourneholdingspace
Instagram:    https://www.instagram.com/eastbourneholdingspace
YouTube:       https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIKfb6tdrDj_sp2wURXp0Dw 

ABOUT THE HOST

My name is Dave Barr and I am the Founder and Owner of RLB Purchasing Consultancy Limited.

I have been working in Procurement for over 25 years and have had the joy of working in a number of global manufacturing and service industries throughout this time.

I am passionate about self development, business improvement, saving money, buying quality goods and services, developing positive and effective working relationships with suppliers and colleagues, and driving improvement through out the supply chain.

Now I wish to share this knowledge and that of highly skilled and competent people with you, the listener, in order that you may hopefully benefit from this information.

CONTACT DETAILS

@The Real Life Buyer
Email: david@thereallifebuyer.co.uk
Website: https://linktr.ee/thereallifebuyer

For Purchasing Consultancy services:
https://rlbpurchasingconsultancy.co.uk/
Email: contact@rlbpurchasingconsultancy.co.uk

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Transcript

Intro  00:00

Welcome to The Real Life Buyer podcast. In this podcast, you will hear interviews with business owners, entrepreneurs, thought leaders, authors and technical specialists in their field. These professionals will hasten your development accelerate your career and broaden your business know how now introducing your host Dave Barr interviewing with a purchasing twist. Hello,

Hansa Raja  00:21

Hi, Dave, thank you for having me here this morning.

00:21

Absolute pleasure. And we're bathed in sunshine. So we both enjoy it. Indeed, it does lighten up the day as they say. So let's kind of jump in. I mentioned a number of things in my introduction about your journey. And obviously, having three children means your an extremely busy parent, but you had the challenges of your daughter. And you found the strength and the determination to found a charity when all this was going on is quite incredible. So can you share with us the pivotal moments that led you to take this bold step and how your personal experiences shaped the mission of your charity?

00:21

Hello and welcome to The Real Life Buyer. In this episode, I am delighted to be spending time with Hansa Raja, the founder of Holding Space, a registered charity offering parents and carer support to families whose children are struggling with their mental health. As a single mom of three Hansa has a powerful story to share of her own challenges in supporting her daughter with mental health difficulties. Not only did Hansa witness and experience the gap in the support she craved, but had the strength, determination and drive to create a supporting organization to fill the void and become the voice of the parent. So today are like to discover how a former Macmillan Lead Cancer Nurse and Operations Manager for Eastbourne Foodbank became a charity Founder and CEO and how she continues to relentlessly drive this organization forward. So without further ado, I welcome Hansa on to the podcast. Hi Hansa.

Hansa Raja  02:00

Well thank you for your kind words that say lovely to hear that, gosh, you know, if I'm really honest, I wasn't planning on running a charity. So if you'd asked me five years ago, would I be sitting here today? I'd have laughed at you and gone no way at all. So as you mentioned, yeah, we went through a really traumatic journey, trying to sort my support my daughter, and sadly, we got no support at all. All the professionals just shut the doors, and I just didn't know where to turn and gave your parent, your parenting is hard at the best of times. And you're suddenly faced with a child with any disability, any illness, and you're just crying out for support. Where do you go? I set up a Facebook page, because I was looking for support for me. And I just felt really alone. I felt like a failure. I just thought I was getting it wrong. And sadly, the professionals told me that as well. They told me to go on a parenting course. And I was like, great, thanks, you know, I just didn't need to hear that. I'm not doing a good job. I already tell myself, I'm not doing a good job. So I set up a Facebook page up looking for some support for me and just wanted to know that I wasn't alone. I wanted to know that there's another family out there that perhaps was going through something similar. That blew up, I had parents reaching out it just kind of all of a sudden it somehow opened doors for other parents to reach out. That was just before COVID And then COVID Hit in the March and it just kind of went on a roller coaster from there, school starting contacting me, parents are contacting me, obviously, we worked as an unregistered charity for about a year. And I thought well actually just make it into charity. Let's let's let's be a registered charity and go from there. And that was five years ago.

Dave Barr  03:40

Blimey. Yeah. Timing could have been better. Yeah. This obviously worrying that you are in need of help. We have, as you mentioned a number of professionals out there that would like to think they could have supported you. But for whatever reason, or they weren't able to or didn't feel they could help you. Did you get to the bottom of what was causing that resistance to support you in any way?

Hansa Raja  04:07

I think the system's broken. If I'm really honest with you, we wait till children are in crisis. And that's the problem with the NHS and children's mental health services. A, there's not been enough investment, schools are just expected to do so much more. And I think children can't cope with the school system. So that's broken as well. And that you just said the criteria to get through the front door is so high and that's we've we've got to go back to supporting children at the first stage that they're that they're presenting with any issues. And it's that early intervention and support that's missing. And and I think that's yeah, this we have to look at just changing the whole system. And that's what I'm really really passionate about. Sadly, there's burnout in the NHS. I've worked in the NHS and there's still massive burnout. We can't recruit to posts, there's burnout in teaching and it almost feels like we've just got to step back Look at the whole system, how can we support those working in the system as well as supporting those that are needing the system and make things better? Because for me our children, are the young people of the future, they're going to be running everything that we're doing now. And if we can't look after them now, what I hope if we got, you know, and that's where we're facing the next generation.

05:19

Yeah, I have come to understand that one of the challenges if that's the right term, is just trying to get a diagnosis sometimes for your child from an expert. Did you have a huge trouble in trying to get that diagnosis? You know, sometimes you don't want to hear the diagnosis, of course, I fully understand that. But was that one of the key blockages that prevented you from moving forward?

Hansa Raja  05:41

I don't think so much of the diagnosis, because not everything needs to be diagnosed. So if you're struggling, it could be anxiety, obviously, if you're going into things like depression, self harm, that's, I think, some it's just the support that's missing. So it wasn't this, I needed a diagnosis, I just needed to get the support that I needed to put me it's like I always say, if my daughter broken her leg, I would have hoped they would have mended it or stabilize it, mended it and taught me how to look after her when it comes to mental health parents and carers aren't getting that. And that's the gap that's missing with the more we can empower parents, the more knowledge you have about something, the better equipped you are to support that person. And we don't do that with mental health. We do we you know, across the board, I think it's with adults as well. It's not just children, young people across the board. We don't get that. And almost, you need a diagnosis in order to get the support. It's almost the wrong way round for me. If I'm struggling, it does. I don't need a label. I'm telling you, I'm struggling. So support me your point. And again, you're right. There are too many children, young people waiting for diagnosis, it could be to get an autism diagnosis. Now you look at two to three years. Yeah. But that that support, there's no support in between that. So it's almost like okay, let's put you on the waiting list. Get you that diagnosis, but what support can we put in place? Before that? How can we help you through that? And that's where we're failing? Right.

07:02

Now, I totally resonate with that. Now, you mentioned a transition from putting out some Facebook posts. I don't know if you set up a Facebook group or whatever, but then moving into an unregistered charity, and then a registered charity. Can you explain how on earth you went about that? Because that sounds potentially complicated. And then maybe other people who are listening in says, Well, I would like to do something like you have done for a different issue. So can you explain how on earth you went about that process?

Hansa Raja  07:31

Oh, god registering a charity is not easy, I must say not is they don't make it easy. So I just followed my passion. You know, for me, it's the voice of the parent that isn't heard. And it was my passion that drove me. And that keeps me going today as well. And every parent we speak to says that you're the first person who's listened. Nobody's hearing my voice. And that, to me is so so powerful. So I would say to anyone, just go with your passion, go with what works for you. For me, I always wanted to be a charity, it, whatever model works for you to that and just just go with it. And keep, it's relentless. It can be relentless. But hopefully, whatever is driving, you will keep you going. It's not easy. I must say running a charity is not easy. Having worked in the charity sector, and then do my own charity is still not easy.

08:22

Right? Would you say setting up a charity, the process to do that is similar to setting up a limited company, for example, you know, what, what kind of organizations do you need to speak to what kind of approvals do you need to get out? How'd you even start that, that journey, really?

Hansa Raja  08:40

Yeah, I would have been I would have thought similar spaces. I mean, running a charity is a business. You know, we work on the same level, but there is a process to the Charity Commission, and you have to have a board of trustees, you have to have a constitution, you have to have those foundations. And there's a whole I think it's like an 80 page document that you have to fill out to the Charity Commission and submit that and hope that they approve it. Often they'll come back, it took us I think over a year because they had lots of questions and backwards and forwards, all our policies. It's just making sure that you foundations are strong. And then especially in the work that we do with children, young people and families, you know, I want everything to be aboveboard. I want to make sure that everyone's safeguarded and, and what we do is, you know, kind of suits everybody. So there's a process you follow, and I'm sure it's the same with a limited company. You have to go through that process. Just do it.

09:34

Yeah, I'd say good and rigorous I'm I guess that's for obviously for important reasons. Otherwise, I would be potentially setting up a charity without the should we say the ethics perhaps in place.

Hansa Raja  09:47

You need the governance in place you need your board in place, you need to have everything and at the end of the day is looking at us making sure what you're doing as soon as the community as well as yourself You know, when you're running your business, it's about looking after yourself as well as the people that you're serving. So make sure as I say, those strong, strong foundations, that governance, you've got everything in place.

10:09

Okay, brilliant. So let's go back to the support you provide. Now, the key thing is to make sure that that support is, is making a tangible difference, shall we say, certainly to the lives of the families, and how they're trying to navigate those kind of challenges, the behaviors that perhaps they may not expect to see how they deal with those things? I'd say, it's very stressful when they're say a child doesn't react in a conventional, shall we say, manner? So when when you go out and try and support somebody, what's the kind of process that you cover with them, to bring the parents in for face to face is to start to question them about what sort of things are happening, how they're feeling, you know, try and get empathy, you know, the empathy and understanding their what, what would they expect to do to get the support from you?

Hansa Raja  11:01

Yeah, so every new referral, we invite in for a face to face meeting into offices or head offices in Eastbourne. So we meet everybody face to face. And I think that's really important. I think here, there's something about being together, especially since COVID, as well, we work with the parent, you know, your child better than anybody. So it's about saying to parents, What support do you need? Yes, we get a history, find out what's happening. But what support do you need? And how can we support you, I'm not an expert. I'm not a counselor, I'm not professional. I won't say I'm an expert, what I am, what I do say is I get it, I'm a parent with lived experience, I've been on this journey. And I really do empathize, I really do understand what you're going through. But I haven't got all the answers, can't fix it. But together, we'll walk this journey. And you will get through that. And it's about working with every family because what you need was probably different from what I need. So it's working with them and listening to them and say, How can we support you and also signposting? Because you know, we are, we're all parents lived experience. So it's about making sure we're working in partnership with all the agencies out there, and that parents are aware of where to get support. I didn't know where to get support, I worked in the system, but I still didn't know where to go. So kind of thing, you know, that the average parent out there hasn't got a clue. So for us, it's almost just walking that journey with them, connecting them with the right organization, and that our support is for as long as they need it to it could be a 10 minute conversation, and we signpost them on or it could be two, three years. Yeah, that journey is kind of a roller coaster for many parents and children. So it's open ended support. For me listen to the parent, because you know your child better than anyone.

12:47

Right? Now, it's a bit obviously troubling to know that, who to talk to is a challenge even for somebody in in the profession, so to speak. And I guess some of the challenges that the parents are going through will be quite different from one to another would it, therefore me and translate that the organizations needed to support them are going to be quite different as well. They're not always going to go to the same organizations. So how would you kind of navigate that? You know, how do you figure out, you've had to try and figure out who to go and see and how to make that connection, how to introduce the parents to that process? How do you go about determining exactly the needs that they have? I know, you'd rather the face to face discussions, but then aligning them with the right organizations to deliver the kind of support they need.

Hansa Raja  13:32

I've just learned on my journey I've learned so so much and and I spent a lot of time building up relationships, partnerships for me, you know, the more we can work together in co-production in partnership working, we're all supporting the same community, whether that's the statutory body, whether it's another charity, the more we work together, and I've just over the five years, work learned what's out there, talk to people introduce myself understand what they do. So we've built up such a big resource that we've got that capability of being able to say, Okay, we have this information, and it's our information to keep it's about sharing it. Yeah. And often when you're a parent caring for a child, you are so bogged down with appointments and emails and and you haven't got headspace to start searching. And and if you do, sometimes you end up down this rabbit warren or you end up down American sites, if we can take that pressure off and say, Okay, we know, organizations we know their eye on we can send you 10, okay, they can support you, it just makes life easier for that parent.

14:34

Okay. Are there certain activities that you do with the parents to help them be given the necessary tools to start to deal with issues early on before you can get the introductions. There's going to be this this void, I guess. I'm sure you've come across things that you feel quite often work very well with the children to help the parent to perhaps empathize more, what kind of skill sets, you know, strategies or tools, can you share those kind of meetings with the parents?

Hansa Raja  15:06

A lot of it is about parent peer support. So we run coffee mornings,run coffee evenings, it's about connecting parents together to share with each other, and, and what strategies have worked for other people. So I think that's really valuable. And coming together as a group and sharing, we run workshops, you know, things like understanding the teenage brain, I've learned so much on that just managing, you know, teenagers, we all go through that. And also understanding when to worry, often it's like, is this normal teenage behavior? Or should I start worrying? You just don't know. So we run workshops, we often ask our parents what they want a lot one tends to have information on anxiety, it could be OCD, it's very much I've built an organization, I feel it's very parent led, because they have what I needed isn't necessarily what another parent needs. So we always ask our parents, what do you need? What would work for you? What, what what workshops can we put on? That was help you? You know, and for me, it's empowering people with knowledge here, I wish I'd known half the stuff was around or I knew half the stuff, then would it have changed my journey? I don't know. But the more knowledge we have, the more we can empower parents, the easier it is for them, hopefully.

15:44

Do you say that a key aspect of that you mentioned, coffee mornings and workshops, that's bringing people together. So it's not just one to one, it's it's parents, to parents to parents, and I guess they can share the stories that they have. And perhaps some of the things they've done that have worked for them. Do you think that's a major part of building the community and having that opportunity to share with like minded people who experienced these things, the problems they dealt with, and, and are dealing with and getting advice from each other.

Hansa Raja  16:45

Definitely, definitely, every parent will say that they just feel like it's just they're going through this, you know, they feel so so alone. And I think you know, that connection is so important, just connecting people on on a shared journey, knowing that you're not alone, knowing that you haven't got it wrong, that isn't your parenting style, and just being able to hear other stories, our coffee mornings are really relaxed, they're not heavy, you know, often will talk about all sorts of subjects. But what we do provide is that safe space, if they do need to talk, if they need to have a cry, or they just need to feel connected. And and I think there's great power in that as well. And we also offer one to one support. So my team do one to one telephone wellbeing support as well. So it's not necessary that you have to get to the group to access the support. Again, it's working individually with every busy and what works for them. We have so many parents whose children are not going to school, you know that parents have had to give up work, and they can't necessarily certainly get out the house. So it's it's making sure that support is still there for them.

17:46

Yeah. You mentioned a key factor there. And that being work, where you said some people have to give up work, which is obviously financially a huge difficulty. But for those people that are in work and need to work for obvious reasons, how can you help them because do you find the the employers, the companies that, you know, obviously looking after them to empathize as well and support them in their journey? Do you need to get involved and explain sometimes even to the employers, the challenges those parents are facing?

Hansa Raja  18:21

I'd like to think employers are sympathetic, I think some are, some aren't, I think they've got a lot of work to do with with kind of supporting parents in the workplace. And that's one workshop that we have developed, and we will be advertising quite soon for employees and HR managers, because it's understanding if you're sitting next to somebody at work, do you really know what they're going through? So a lot of organizations like most employers, now we'll do Mental Health First Aid, and tick that box, but actually that where we're coming from is who supports the parent in the workplace, you know, and and what support do they need? You know, I remember when I was working, if my phone was on red alert, and if my phone went, I'd have to go. I had no choice, you know, but I was also worried about losing my job. But my colleagues knew something was wrong, but I couldn't talk to them about it. And then we've got to do a lot more with with supporting parents in the workplace. So again, if there's anyone listening to this from employer or HR background, please do get in touch with us. And we can have a chat there bite size workshops, we can do them at lunchtime, we can do them online and just help you to get the best from your parents.

19:28

Do you find there's a difference between the support from a smaller company to those that are larger organizations or does it seem to be fairly evenly spread, how they react?

Hansa Raja  19:39

I think it depends on who there you see areas. I think it doesn't matter on what the size of the company is. I think it comes down to the ethos of that company. It really does. Yeah, I like to think we get in there slowly chipping away. Definitely, definitely. We need support, don't we? Yes, you know, we've all got lives outside. to work and we do need to work, we've got cost of living crisis going on at the moment, so many people are having to work. So let's put support in for that.

20:10

Now I want to touch on the fact that you are full time mum, pretty much. Always. You're trying to run a charity. You're trying to support other people. So your your demands on your time are enormous. And you've got a balance an operational running of the company, so to speak, running of the charity with preparing the strategic vision and enacting that vision going forward. So how do you go about juggling all these different priorities, trying to get somewhere without being overwhelmed yourself?

Hansa Raja  20:44

Oh, it's hard. It's hard. I've had impostor syndrome, I've had days where I've thought, I'm just giving all this up, I can't do this. And I think even running a business, you will know that you just go on this journey, don't you? I've got an amazing team. So you know, I couldn't do this without my team of volunteers. I've got an amazing Trustee Board, who helped me with the strategic vision, governance and helped me to move the charity forward, my friends, my family, I have my little dog. So for me, my timeout is walking my dog walking on the beach. And really, I've had to learn to look after myself, I've had to really learn to put that self care in without burning out. And that's been really important. And I've done that through therapy. So I've had therapy myself, and I'm not ashamed to say that I think, you know, we need to talk more openly that it's okay to get help. It's okay to say, I'm struggling today. But you know, being self employed and running your own business, it's hard, isn't it. And when it's your baby, you want to put 110% into it. But I think over the years, I've learned to be kind to myself, and reach out, I'm better at reaching out. And I'm better at saying actually, I need help. And I need support. And I can't do this alone.

21:54

Very, very wise. If you've if you are burnt out, then everybody's gonna suffer. So absolutely. Now, I guess one of the biggest challenges, will the multiple challenges you have, and we've touched on this in previous conversations is the ability to get funding to help you do more and more and cope with the demands that people have, obviously get in personal support people to volunteer, etc. Can you explain the kind of challenges you're facing right at the moment? What are your biggest problems? And how are you trying to resolve those right now?

Hansa Raja  22:28

I don't know about resolving them, the biggest challenge at the moment is funding. So the landscape at the moment for all charities, and particularly small charities like ours is getting grant funding is 90% of our funding comes from Grant and trust funds. And it's getting harder and harder. So whereas, whereas previously, you get one in five applications was successful, we're looking at one in 20. Now, if you're lucky, a lot of funders are closing or pausing their funding streams to reevaluate. So we've got to the end of this year, if we don't get funding, and when I don't know if we can survive next year. And I'm hearing that across the board for charities that I speak to. So we are looking at it as well as writing grant funding, we're looking for corporate sponsorship, we're looking for individuals, we're kind of giving any ways that people can help us there is money out there, it is just a I'm open to having conversations with anybody that's interested in what we're doing and would really like to support us. We've had over 1000 parents through our door in five years. So demand isn't a problem. It's capacity. And like any business, we need money to survive. We all have overheads, volunteering is kind of challenge I think for everybody at the moment as well, as I mentioned the cost of living crisis earlier. I know I know, people who are working two, three jobs just to survive. But again, you know, we're a small volunteer team, I don't have paid staff. So we are looking for volunteers. Everyone has the don't have to have a mental health background. Everyone has skills and expertise, I think that they can offer whether that's through a business to again, yes, finance, finances always help. But I think even if people can offer their skills, it could be event planning. It could be social media, it could be looking at our data, people have got skills and expertise that can offer as well as financial support. So those are challenges I'm hearing kind of nationally, and particularly for us at the moment.

Dave Barr  24:22

Yeah, obviously for us in the UK, there's been a change in the political landscape. Do you think that's going to be a positive thing for charities? Or is it is a wait and see moment? A bit of both?

Hansa Raja  24:34

Bit of both, I mean, he's got several charity leaders on around the table, which is really, really exciting to see and hear. And I'm optimistic I really hope I think we're ready for a change in the in the UK. I think we need to change across the board. And certainly fact for charities I think we're all feeling quite optimistic that we'll we'll get our voices heard, and it's particular small charities as well.

24:57

Right now, what's your what's critical certainly for people who are facing the difficulties that we've talked about today, it's a  Know where to go. So what's the best place for people to reach out to you? Where should they go on social media on websites? Wherever, what what's the best places to find you?

Hansa Raja  25:14

Yeah, website. So parents, if there are parents listen to this, you can just refer yourself, you don't need a professional refer or so you can self refer, there's a contact form on our website and just fill that in. And we'll get back to you. Obviously, we have all our social media channels to keep up to date, what we do, and we also have a closed group on Facebook just for parents. So we've kind of got that open door, whatever works for you.

25:38

Okay, so who am I right in saying the website, they should go to 'holdingspace.org.uk'? 

Hansa Raja  25:44

Yeah. 

Dave Barr  25:44

Okay. And you mentioned Facebook, would that be Eastbourne Holding Space? That you look for? Yeah, I guess you're on other social media platforms, and that as well.

Hansa Raja  25:54

Yeah. Instagram, LinkedIn. So that's our main platforms. Okay.

25:57

So just to finish off now, thinking of the future, let's assuming that everything's going to go along, tickety boo, you're gonna get the funding you need, the volunteers you need? What are your aspirations for the charity for the next, say, one to three years,

Hansa Raja  26:13

I want to get mental health on the high street, I want to open those conversations. So we started that transition last year. So our head office now is it right in the center of town in Eastbourne. And I just want people to be able to knock on the door and get instant support and access and, and that they don't feel afraid to reach out. And then our vision, my vision is to have hubs around the county. So they're having a hub in Hastings, and there is that field work right on your doorstep where it's not just support, what we're running workshops, we running activities for families, you know, things like art and drama, and, you know, walk and talk. It's not all about therapy, but we're having well-being interventions that will help, whether it's the parent, the child or young person, but just having many hubs across the county. So that's the plan for the next three years.

Dave Barr  27:02

Brilliant. It's wonderful to hear the outstanding work that you're doing. How you are managing to cope with it all, and drive things forwards. And you're certainly making a difference for people with the challenges we've discussed. So thank you very much. I think that's important to say, you are doing a wonderful job. I see you out there all the time. And you're certainly an advocate for your charity. So thank you for your efforts

Hansa Raja  27:27

Well thank you so much for your kind words, and for having me here today.

Dave Barr  27:30

It's an absolute pleasure. So take care, and I'll see you soon no doubt. 

Hansa Raja  27:35

Thanks Dave. 

Dave Barr  27:35

So, so there's another Real Life Buyer podcast. I do hope you enjoyed it. And it has given you some ideas and inspiration for greater action and achievement. Don't forget to subscribe, so you don't miss out on future episodes, and a five star review would be most appreciated. If you would like to discover more about me and what I do. Take a look@www.thereallifebuyer.co.uk. Bye.